Tatoulia and Dianne,

It warmed my heart to see the lovely support here tonight. Tatoulia, I'm sorry you were having a rough day. Dianne, you always have such wonderful, thoughtful things to say. I am so glad that we all have each other.

Pulled it together tonight. Worked extra hours, ran some errands with BF and wrapped a few gifts.

I realized one thing: I have an extra chair in my apt. I had taken a chair out if storage to take to mom's. I took a chair out of her house that I wanted. I have a chair I want to get rid of but I don't think it will fit in my car. If I can figure out how to get rid if it, I will feel better. If it isnt raining, I'll put it out with garbage for Friday. Maybe someone will take if-- very nice from a nice store but it's not my style. Otherwise garbage will pick it up/checked with the city.

I hope everyone is doing well. Thanks again Dianne for your help.

Never ending battle. Stuff stuff stuff. But as I write this, I realize, that's a good thing -- it's just stuff. That's all it is. And stuff --well I can deal with stuff.

I'm thinking iof a project for the weekend. Take everything out of my bedroom except for furniture. Then one-by-one put things back in. Maybe that way I could cut down on 50% of the treasures on my dresser, night table. I bet it could work! Those treasures will then be sent to goodwill.

I bet my bedroom (so pretty--big bow front, 12' ceilings) would look even nicer with fewer treasures in it.

Yes I've calmed down nicely. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you.

You are so sweet. I just came on to say I took a nice hot shower and am now enjoying a nice cup of decaf tea with honey. I put my pjs on and feel very comfortable. In the process, the world's cutest cat (the fact that she's mine is purely coincidental) woke up and joined me on the couch.

I've reassessed how much work-work I've done the last two days and I am pleased with my progress, and there's still a few hours left in the traditional work day! (I try to work from home two days a week). All of my laundry is done.

I will take your solid (and much appreciated) advice. I think I will make a plan to work x number of extra hours tonight, then I think what will make me happiest is to wrap the gifts that are bring mailed. At that point, my place will seem cleaner and clearer. I will save the wrapping of the family gifts for another night, when I can play Christmas music or stream Rudolph via Netflix.

In my furor earlier I got half a goodwill bag done. Huge quantities of unopened bath salts that if I haven't used by now, I deserve to let them go. I will still have some if I feel like hopping in the tub this winter. (A favorite past time ftom years gone by). I also put in a scarf that I bought a few weeks ago when I was cold and not at home. It is drab and not me, so I've washed it up and put it in the goodwill bag.

Thank you dear Sis. You really helped today. Thank you for helping me to take a few minutes to prioritize and to breathe. The tea is delicious (decaf Irish Breakfast Tea--shall I make you a cup??).

Much love,

Tatoulia

Stress at work. I've been trying to figure it out. Very stressful time at office. Extra work upon extra work upon extra work with very real, concrete deadlines due to changes at the office.
Also I have packages to wrap and mail, so extra stuff in house. Pressure, pressure.

Thanks for asking me that question I've been trying to figure it out myself. See, we are sisters-- thinking alike, struggling alike, waving goodbye to things!

Yikes! I've decided to just follow the saying if you want something done, give it to a busy person. And I will work extra hours tonight and I will wrap gifts and I will make two bags to go to goodwill. And I'll check in here!

Yes I'm having quite the outburst today. B

Thank you. I'm upset and frustrated. Even though things are in their place, I still feel overwhelmed by the number and amount of possessions. I'm really upset and frustrated and mad. Why do I own all this stuff??? Why?? Why is it still here? I cleaned out a 10' x 12' storage spot, filled to the rafters/up, down, back, forth, hither and yon. I cleaned out my kitchen cabinets, my bookshelves, my closets, my floors, tables, chairs )not my dreaded closet though--sometime later we will discuss) and I still feel completely overwhelmed. There's too much stuff. Too much. I cannot $&&}?€>| believe it.

I need to get one bag ready for goodwill today. Then I need to do a second bag.

I still own too much #£<^!,<£** stuff. It's too much. Just too much. After all my dehoarding and trashing and donating and everything else, I just own too much stuff. This is so frustrating. I need to get rid of more. MORE. I feel like I'm having a meltdown. I need stuff out of here.

Still too much. TOO MUCH. Sorry. I'm having a moment.

I really liked what you had to say, Dianne. I do feel, at times, that I am given more than I can bear. Am grateful to have a moment where it's less.

I will write more later--house is a furious mess--yesterday's volunteer activities went well but ended up being all day. 10:45 to 7:45. It made me happy to do it. Finished shredding the final tote of financial records today. Now I need to do some serious soul-searching as I get rid of more stuff. Decisions are getting harder. But I realize i can get rid of even more stuff. And so I will. Even though everything has a place now, i would like some empty space.

Hello to everyone--will catch up more later.

This is a test

Looks like I put MV instead of MW on my last post. Looking at the cabinets I did see that some stuff that I never use was on an easy to get to shelf and some stuff I do use was up higher - hummm now I'm not good at organizing, but even I can see that is something which I can change.

The dishwasher is running and now I am going to sit for 15 min and work on strategy.

Fortunately or unfortunately there are toddler safe locks on the bottom cabinets in the kitchen and during Thanksgiving guests were not able to open the doors because they couldn't figure them out and that was where I had a lot of things stuffed. The locks only open with a magnet key so they are not easy.

Thanks Dianne, the kitchen needs a lot it's really disorganized but I have been in MUCH MUCH worse situations before. What I have right now will at least fit into the dishwasher when I get it decrusted. I spend a lot of time looking for things that have been churned to another area. Thanksgiving there were guests and I "hid" a lot of counter clutter instead of dealing with it so there is that too. I'm going to try to map out a plan for the kitchen so I have some idea where to put things when I do get them in a place.

Hi all,

Dianne, thanks so much for the kind words and support! I do know that he loves me and he's being so loving and supportive because he loves me. I definitely do think if I give him some rules (like put all the papers to the side) will work.

Tatoulia, I'm so glad you had a pleasant day with your brother. It's so wonderful having a close relationship with siblings, I'm glad you got to spend the day together. And really wonderful that he's having a good time in life for the first time in so many years. Your story about your friend cleaning your kitchen definitely hits close. It's so hard even if you know it comes from a good place, but having it done is so nice. Very good that you were able to focus on the good side of things - i'm doing my best to do that too :)

For the areas that are particularly bad... I just don't want to try to explain it. It's not something that's going to make logical sense to someone who doesn't think the way we do. My boyfriend has been very understanding, which still amazes me.

So we got some stuff done this weekend. Gutters are clean, some of the plastic is up on the windows (in the bedroom where it's coldest), Christmas lights are up. Unfortunately while I was up on the ladder I saw that there's a few areas on the roof that need to be repaired/patched. I don't mind being on the roof, I'm just terrified about getting on and off the ladder. My boyfriend has offered to go up there and do what needs to be done, but I have an unusual roof and it's tricky to repair/patch it, so I would prefer to do it myself. I've been up on the roof a number of times so I've done it before, I just need to build myself up to the point where I'm ready to do it.

My boyfriend has some ideas about rearranging some of the other rooms. I told him it made me very anxious and he assured me he was thinking long-term, like 2 or 3 years, and that he used to have a hard time thinking about change as well because he had to think through every little step instead of thinking about the big picture. So maybe he does sort of get it.

I better head off to work. Have a great monday everyone!

I'm trying to clean/organize a dirty kitchen and plan what to cook today. I know that is way too much at once for me so I'm going to in the next 15 minutes put all the dried on dirty dishes to soak and cook something or at least figure out what to cook.

I haven't been able to come to the site very often lately but when I do I see that Tillie is not posting. She was always so positive and understanding and she was here for so long I felt that she was a friend to so many. Does anyone know what has happened to her? Did I miss something when i wasn't able to check in? So many people seem to post constantly then just disappear leaving us to hope things are okay with them. If anyone knows how Tillie is doing please post a quick note. Thanks and good luck with your endeavors.

Thank you for the kind words, Dianne. It was a long day with brother but very pleasant. He and I are close. He is disabled physically and he is mentally ill and for the first time in 25 years, he's having a period of doing well. He actually seems happy and not so fragile right now. I am thankful he has some peace. It is generally very difficult to take care of him. I will enjoy his peaceful, happy time and will worry about the future once it's here.

Mel, wow. That's a lot that got done. I hope the bathroom makes you happy. It must be tough having your secrets exposed--the dirt and grime and God-knows-what are all things that we don't want to deal with, and we certainly don't want anyone else seeing them. I know anyone looking on the outside would automatically think it's great that he took care of things for you, but us hoarders have embarrassment, shame and other conflicting emotions. I think I mentioned this to you before but it bears repeating--I had a friend visit me this Summer (after my big house dehoarding) and she cleaned my kitchen. Now I had cleaned the kitchen, except did one cabinet and I didn't clean the fridge. She got up at 5:00 AM and cleaned that one cabinet, made all decisions re what to keep, put the cleaning supplies in there and completely cleaned my kitchen. I decided not to be embarrassed, and she took it a step further and said, you are so busy taking care of everyone, I know you'd do if if you had the time.

I don't know if having to grin and bear it through that story helps, but I hope it does. It's done, it's fine, it's over. Bathroom is done.

I agree you need to make sure papers are shredded. I think you might want to tell him they you'd feel most comfortable taking "first crack" at the second bedroom.

I know this is moving fast for you. We are here to help through it! You are not alone.

Ps glad you are getting used to the kitties. I find petting a warm and loving animal reassures me that it will all be okay.

Hi all,

I think my issue with having my boyfriend clean/help clean is that there are areas that I'm embarrassed for him to see. Most areas that he's been in now are ones where I've gotten rid of the worst of the stuff (that cabinet in the kitchen was an exception). I feel like before he starts cleaning I want the worst of it to be taken care of. I've been doing really well at just getting rid of things so I'm feeling OK about throwing most stuff away. The other issue is that I worry that he'll just throw stuff away that really should be shredded (or at least I think should be shredded). So before he goes into a space, I want to clean it out enough that most of the shreddable stuff is gone/taken care of, anything really gross is gone, etc.

On Wednesday, my boyfriend came home with a dozen storage boxes. I told him just looking at the boxes was giving me anxiety. He promised it would be OK.

Things did not exactly go as planned the last couple days. My boyfriend works a job where his hours depend on how much they have to do. When they have a lot to do, he might work 12 hours. When they don't have much, he might only work 3 or 4. He starts very early in the morning. Unfortunately for me, he had very short days on Thursday and Friday and was home before I even made it out of bed. I didn't tell him I was off work and when he got home on Thursday morning he woke me up to see if I had overslept for work. I ended up helping out with my niece most of the day on Thurs and doing laundry (out of the house - I don't have a washer/dryer) on Friday. My boyfriend did so much cleaning and organizing while I was gone that he completely filled the garbage and recycling bins. He only worked in the utility room and the bathroom, so I'm mostly OK with that because in those areas I'm not really concerned about stuff that might need to be shredded or anything. Anything he thought I might need/want, he put into a storage box for me to sort through.

I had a tall cabinet that I had bought probably a dozen years ago with the intention of replacing an old ugly set of drawers behind the bathroom door. It was still in the box in the utility room. I had mentioned at one point what I wanted to do with it. So while I was gone, he emptied out the old set of drawers, moved it into the utility room, got rid of an old rickety set of shelves in the utility room, built the cabinet and put it into the bathroom, moved all of my perfume into the cabinet (and the towels and whatnot), got rid of something I had been using to store my perfume and a few other things, threw away tons and tons of old stuff, installed a new toilet paper roll (i hated where the old one was located), put up a few places to hang towels, and re-organized the stuff that was left. It's mind-blowing. He got all this done in a total of like 10 hours. I'm not feeling upset/worried about him doing the cleaning but I am feeling worried about what happens when it's time to do the second bedroom.

I managed to crack the seat on my toilet, and i was really upset because I have a fancy decorated toilet lid that I got online many years ago from a place that does fancy toilet seats. It was a custom piece that someone backed out on so I got it for an excellent price but I just love it. Anyway, my boyfriend thinks we can find another toilet seat of a similar size and move the lid onto the new one. I'm hopeful.

Living with the kitties is getting better, I think. I'm getting more used to them and I haven't stepped on either of them recently (not sure if this is because I'm more aware of them or if they're just avoiding being underfoot around me ;)). I got them a little play area thing (something that can go into/climb on and a couple hanging balls with bells for them to play with and a scratching post (they only have their back claws).

Since the garbage and recycling are full we probably won't do much cleaning this weekend, but I still need to put up plastic on the windows, clean the gutters and hang up the christmas lights and the weather is going to be decent today and tomorrow so hopefully we can work on that. I don't know what I'm going to do about the second bedroom but garbage day is Tuesday so I'll at least have to wait till then (or do like I did before we met and move bags of garbage into the garage).

Hope everyone has a good and productive weekend!

Good morning everyone! I have to help my brother with something today and it will likely eat up this whole day. I am VERY unhappy that there's still stuff in my house from storage and my living room and hallway feel so chaotic. My plans with my brother include working on some projects at his house and getting a bite to eat. Tomorrow I am volunteering for something in the community and that will be a 5-1/2 hour commitment. I am not going to feel pressured, I will do my best to find all of this energizing. I can take care of things here at the same time. I need to repeat that to myself today!

I will check in later. Thinking of you all with special wishes to Mel re her projects this weekend. As always, a special hello to Tillie, Diane, Roxie and Bitsy--would love to hear from you.

Thank you everyone for your support and help!!! Hope to hear from you soon and wishing you a productive, satisfying day !

Hello everyone. Haven't made any progress. Holiday Party season is upon us. Home too late last night to shred. I need to get rid of this stuff because I want to decorate apt. Have busy weekend in front of me but I find I get more fine when I'm busy so I'll set a goal of Sunday night.

Hope you are all well!

Okay, finally finished the first Rubbermaid tote of financial documents. Went to car and got tote #2.

Will start on that now. Last night was invited to dinner by some people who work in one of our out of state offices so I did that. Fun time! Do not regret putting shredding project on hold. Have a Christmas party tomorrow night. Will see what I can get shredded before then!

How nice that we've found each other, Dianne. Mom's got lot of explaining to do, but I'm glad we know we are sisters!.

I waved goodbye to my storage space. Feeling better?

Dianne, thank you for your thoughtful post. Greatly appreciated your reminding me of my self-worth. Mel, I can picture the scenario coming up and my chest gets a little tight. For me the pace would be an issue--you may need more time with the stuff. You may need to not work so fast. Maybe getting it done all at once won't work for you. Just keep the communication open and remember to breathe. Take a "time out" and walk around the block if your chest feels tight. You will feel better and refreshed when you return.

Also, just remind the BF that this is going to be tough on you. Remind him it's not just a matter of cleaning, that it's emotionally and mentally taxing on you too. Best to remind him before you start on the project.

And finally, it will be fine. It's stuff. Stuff. Stuff you don't remember having and stuff that can live without you. I say it that way, instead of stuff that YOU can live without, because I find myself worrying whether the stuff will be loved or appreciated without me. I've had to learn to say, The stuff will be fine.

Three cheers for LR! I bet the movewill give you plenty of time to build up your throw-away muscles! Of course I am sad about your flooding issues--I applaud you for finding the strength to decide to move! I am here anytime you need me!

I can tell you honestly and completely that I only regret giving away ONE item. Just the one! And I gave it to a friend who visited over the summer. It was a small oil painting that I had done as a child. My friend loved and admired it. And truthfully, it went to a very good home to a very deserving person.

Not bad to have that as a regret!

Keep up the good work! I am proud of you!

I will write more tomorrow--glad to hear from Mel, Dianne and Dave. Keeping my fingers crossed that everyone else is fine--missing you all.

Obviously, I told you all about the move-out notice. Thanks for all the encouragement.

Hi to all. Don't know if I mentioned this in a post last week or not (I'm writing this offline), but I turned in my official move-out notice last week to "the powers that be," largely because of all the flooding I've had here over such a long period of time (and especially lately). I officially have a couple of months to get out of here. I've been working the past few days (somewhat slowly, but working nonetheless) on packing. Since I've been in this place for a long time and (mainly) because I have hoarding issues, this is no small task. (Surprise, surprise, right?) It's a much easier task than it would have been at this time last year, though. I haven't gotten rid of as much stuff as many of you guys have, but I still have made a pretty good dent in my "stuff" since I started here around March or so. FYI, a friend is planning to come visit me this weekend, and she has offered to help me do some packing. Yea for the visit, and yea for the packing help.

Today, I got some cleaning done in an area I hadn't attacked in a long time (and made a few spiders homeless in the process, I think). Dave, I found a very dusty/dirty but otherwise good sock on the floor in that area, and I threw it away. Now there will be a sock without a partner. Life goes on. I also ended my lengthy inner debate today and decided to toss my dusty, two-volume 1999 zip code book. (Some zip codes have actually changed in the last 15 years, anyhow.)

I was feeling really bummed out this evening because there are so many major things in my life that I need to make decisions about and for which I feel I need solutions. I was feeling very confused (lots of other feelings going on, too). I decided that reading some posts would be good for me. Read some from early last week. I felt better after reading them, and I especially appreciated a couple about meditation that I think will be helpful to me. Thanks, Dave and others, for posting those.

It also felt good to read what some of you wrote and to be able to remember the "before." Nice to feel connected to your lives and to have you be connected to mine. Gives me warm fuzzies. For instance, Diane, I smiled to know that you have lots of good stuff . . . including frozen veggies . . . in your freezer, a freezer that you didn't even have at this time last year. I'm gonna go eat some frozen veggies in a few minutes, by the way . . . OK, well, I'll cook them first. Oh, and belated happy birthday, if I didn't already say it.

I saw the word "dusting" used a few times in some of the posts from last week. I actually have done some of that recently! I won't mention how thick the dust was in some of these areas that I have been dusting. The cool thing is that although I still have a lot of areas with lots of heavy dust, the number of such areas is noticeably decreasing (noticeable to me, anyway). I'm getting ready to wash a very dusty curtain soon (had already washed its mate) that hadn't been cleaned in (ahem) years. (Just getting close enough to the curtain to take it down to wash was a biggie at one point.) Every bit of progress can help me feel better about me (as long as I remember to focus on the progress instead of focusing on all that still needs to be done).

Hugs and warm fuzzies to all.

Hi everyone, hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

I'm so happy to read about everyone's great progress!

LR, way to to getting ready to move! Awesome idea to take pictures to see your progress. It's so easy to feel like you've worked and worked and worked and nothing is improving. It's good to be able to see how much you've really gotten done. I hope all continues to go well for you!

Tatoulia, great job on all of the stuff you've been purging! I can totally relate on the shredding. I have two big bags of stuff that need to be shredded. I did make some progress last Wednesday morning (my garbage day is Wednesday so I was determined to get at least one bag out there) and I overheated my shredder too! So proud that you were able to totally get out of the storage space, that's HUGE!

Dave and Dianne, hope you are both doing well! Great to hear (see?) from you!

The punchbowl stories reminded me... I think I still have a punchbowl and set of glasses at my parents house. When I go over there next time I'm going to need to take a look (and donate!).

I still don't like cleaning with my boyfriend in the house, at least not any of the major stuff. I wait until he's at work or school before I do any cleaning, but with the holidays and whatnot, I've done very little over the past couple weeks. I'm having issues with my computer too which is distracting.

Yesterday my boyfriend said that since the holiday was over and we didn't have much planned for this weekend, it could be a cleaning weekend. He said this enthusiastically and with great excitement. My reaction was... less enthusiastic. :) He assured me that we would work together and it would be teamwork cleaning. I'm not thrilled about this, especially not for the second bedroom. he's already seen it but I would still rather try to make as much progress on it as I can before he goes in for cleaning purposes. Fortunately for me, I'm scheduled off work on Thursday and Friday, so I should be able to make some time to work on it. A coworker of mine told me that she had a "cleaning day" for her family this past weekend and the agreement was that they would do as much cleaning as they could from 10am - 3pm, and she put out snacks and drinks for them to eat while they were working on it. I like this idea but I'm pretty sure I'd just take a lot of breaks and eat a lot of snacks :)

One of my mice apparently made an appearance while my boyfriend was home. The cats found it but it got away from them. He said he found it because it "squealed like a little piggy" before it escaped. For some reason this made me laugh really hard. It still makes me giggle now. I would like to put out a mousetrap but I'm worried that one of the cats will get injured. So hopefully I'll be posting on Thurs and/or Fri night that I have made lots of progress in the second bedroom. Plus tomorrow is my boyfriend's last Tuesday night class until January, which means Tuesday nights will no longer be a cleaning night for me (at least not like they have been). My boyfriend took the garbage and recycling out to the garage today so I need to take a look and see how much room there is - and fill it up!

Hope everyone has a great week!

Re thirds (or 3 3's):

3 pieces of pie.
2 different "chefs" pumpkin plus a piece of cherry.

3 squares of daughter's fudge.

At home, 2 glasses of milk plus 1 heavily "leaded" chocolate chip cookie.

Those were the "bad ideas" after eating other things lightly because pain referenced earlier was intestines, stomach and kidneys hurting like hell from coffee and pop.

I have eaten a lot of sweet potatoes the last few days and have to develop discipline I do not have in regard to liquids consumed. Anything beyond around 3 small cups of coffee in the morning leaves at risk - at some unknown level of seriousness. I am suffering from "ignoring the cane" syndrome and paying the price on some days.

Thank you Dianne and Dave for your praise and encouragement. I feel extra needy right now and appreciate your bring there for me. Tonight quite frankly I'm just relaxing. I have a bit of a headache and merely took the bags of garbage out. A lot going on at work and I just want to relax. Dave, I googled the free shredding and a credit union here also fad a free shredding date--the date has passed, but I'll keep it in mind for next year. Til then, I'll keep working on tote #1 and then go to car to get another tote. I can do this!

Already my house seems less chaotic with the garbage bags out. I will set a goal to have three more bags out in next garbage day (later this week)

Hope you are both well. Missing Diane and Tillie. Would love to hear from Bitsy, Mel, LR, Roxie, etc.

Thank you for getting me to the place where I am today. I think I stumbled upon this site in June or July. I would have NEVER believed I would have gotten all the junk outbid my house and that I would've gotten a 10 x 12 storage space, packed to the rafters, all the way from the back to the front, clean and clear. Thank you.

re shredding,

In our town there are credit unions that offer free shred days twice a year. A commercial shredding service has a big truck and your papers go from your box into a large plastic barrel which in turn goes directly to the shred truck. If one has room to store the documents for a few months, it works out very nicely.

Made it 3/4 of the way through tote. Boy I used to write a lot of checks! Holy cow! Shredder has overheated and I don't want to shred after 10PM out of respect for downstairs neighbor. I unloaded dishwasher and put some shoes away.

While shredding the checks, I kept thinking, look at me, I'm even shredding the cute ones! (I have trouble getting rid of or resisting cute things--thank goodness the checks all look the same!)

Goodnight and thank you. I need your shoulders to lean on.

Great time of year to donate a punch bowl--someone might be making punch and would love the set more than you, me and Mrs Dave!

I'm shredding papers. Slow going. Financial stuff, checks, etc. taking forever. The place I could drop off would be 99 cents a pound/about 90 cents more than I'm willing to pay. Now. Tomorrow might be another story!

Good job with the punch bowl. I have trouble with things like that that represent elegance to me. And failing that, I might have told Mrs. Dave I wanted to get rid of the glasses and keep the bowl for a salad bowl. (Which would then bring up the question of When Do You Make Salad in a Big Bowl? Well..... ) You just saved lots of future stress.