Skip to main content
#
Hoarding Help
Hoarding Cleanup, Help for Hoarders, Nationwide Hoarding HelpHoarding Clean up National ResourcesAbout Hoarding Cleanup, Clutter CleanupHoarding Cleanup, Clutter Cleanup, Hoarding Cleanup, Help for HoardersSupport GroupMessage BoardFor FamiliesHelp For HoardersHoarding Help for Hoarders, Resources, Hoarding Cleanup, Clutter Clean up

Hoarding Cleanup Service 
Steri-Clean Locations 

Questions...Answers...Support. Together we CAN beat this!
Brought to you by:

(800) 462-7337
8:00 AM to 5:00 PM Every Day!

Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : What are you doing today
                      26                     
Reply to this topic
What are you doing today
   

Sheryl
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 10:57 PM
Thanks Tat(can I call you that?) for the tv thing of roku. I'm going to look into that. I got rid of my cable last Nov when I quit my job. Eveyone keep up the good and productive work!!
Top
Tatoulia
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 08:16 PM
Sorry I realized that wasn't clear. I can stream, on my TV, the show Hoarders. I don't have cable TV (I got rid if it a few years back) so now I have regular network tv via an antenna and I have a little box, Roku ( other companies also make a box such as Apple but I have Roku) which allows me to stream different TV shows and movies right to my TV. I can stream Netflix and huluplus (both have a monthly fee of $8 a month--a mere pittance compared to cable). I like to watch the various hoarder tv shows to help me along the way.

I generally don't go on the chat room because I feel uncomfortable. I'm not sure u want to talk to a group. When I've gone on during the day, I've seen LR and Karl there and they helped me immeasurably with a stinky terrible project.

Ps to Dianne. Keep up the good work. I know you are feeling vulnerable. We will shore you up.
Top
sheryl
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 07:06 PM
Tat, thank you for reading my post. And what does stream a few hoarders mean; from 9-10 at 7:23 post?! Keep up the good work!!
Top
Tatoulia
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 06:56 PM
Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. I'm so pleased that I finally made it to storage. I need to keep plugging away on it.

Vi, please don't give up. Keep calling. When I needed a therapist for something a number of years back, I got really frustrated because I couldn't reach the person my health plan required me to go through. She was the only person who could coordinate for me, yet she also was a therapist so she'd be in with patients all day long. I complained to my primary care dr and he helped the situation for me. It's tough navigating these waters. Please don't give up.

Thank you everyone for your kind comments. Diane, Tillie, Roxie, LR, Bitsy, I'm thinking of you all.

Thank you everyone for your help. It is a struggle and I am pleased to have a good day today! Back to work tomorrow but I feel like I got my 'money's worth' out of my vacation day today.
Top
Dianne
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 05:20 PM
Jar Lady, my live-in adult daughter has physical and developmental disabilities. Just reading your list of donations put a big smile on my face because I can just see the sweet smiles and joy they will have when they open their Christmas gifts! Congrats for letting those lovely items go!

Vi, you're right, it is hard to get a call back from a therapist. If there is someone you're really interested in or has been strongly recommended be persistent. It's great that you and Mister could have a talk that gives you insight afterwards. You're also fortunate to have found a friend who you can share struggles and successes with. Have a great time at the concert!

Tat, what an AMAZING job! All of that sounds like it will make new owners very happy. I like your mind game ~ a great tip to pass along. :)
Top
Jar Lady
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 03:30 PM
Awesome Tatoulia!! That was impressive progress!! Someone will really be blessed with those blankets and comforters with the cooler weather coming. And YAY for ceramic cats! I've down-sized my cat collection also....just keeping a few favorites, and of course the REAL LIVE ONE...he's my most favorite of all!
Top
Tatoulia
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 01:58 PM
I did it! I hope Tillie reads this--I did it! I went to my storage space. I cleared out multiple blankets and comforters, which were clean and in plastic containers, big box of hardcover books (painful), dolls from my childhood (easy) and some of my childhood ceramic cats (hello Jar Lady). Some of this was hard, some was easy. Took it all to goodwill. Kept three ceramic cats (already gave one to my neighbor who said she loved it and wanted it). I will have tougher decisions next time I'm there but I am feeling satisfied and happy right now. Also got rid if quite a bit of artwork that I will never, ever hang again--got enough love from me, safe to let it go! G this little mind game I play helps me along--maybe it could help you and others. It's my answer to "but I loved this". "Yes, and I've loved it enough. Time for a new home".

Congrats and warm wishes to everyone. Missing Tillie.
Top
Vi0
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 11:54 AM
I've been an emotional wreck for days now and I'm finally tired of it. still trying to find a therapist, it seems getting one to call you back is some sort of miracle. Mister and I had a long talk after i blew up over some nonsense yesterday and I've come away with a better sense that I need to fix my self now. Still chipping away at the house, it's not terrible but I need to get things done. COncert tomorrow, super excited. getting out and away is a big deal for me so I'm really anxious but at the same time totally thrilled. I've made a really good friend too that suffers alot of the same issues i do minus the hoarding tendencies. I'm glad I have her. it seems we needed each other worse than we thought.
Thanks for being here and listening. I'll be around, love, Vi0l33t
Top
G
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 10:42 AM
Morning everyone!

Sheryl, I too am new and just starting to get my feet wet here looking for guidance and support. Together we can do this, I do believe :)

Jar Lady, Sounds like a realy nice set of gifts you have put together for that group. You should be very proud of yourself!

Tat, Thanks for sharing your analogy about if something has been loved for 10 or more years, it will continue to be loved by someone else(if I got that right?). This summer I was donating items and felt good about it, although did also feel some remorse after which had me question if I was not being rash trying ot clear some space in my home :(

Got what I absolutely needed done yesterday and have a few necessaities to work on today. So here I go!

Hoping everyomne gets done enough to feel good about themselves and make even a tiny bit of progress, although not so much they become overwhelemd and burned out.

Strength in numbers.....we CAN do this!!!

Peace...
Top
Jar Lady
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 07:42 AM
Thanks so much Tat! I love reclaiming my space too! Luckily, my rooms are kept quite clear, but it's the stuff stored in closets, cupboards, and drawers that I am trying to focus on now. Working through the anxiety deciding what to keep/what to discard is very hard, but I am determined to do more.
Top
Tatoulia
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 07:16 AM
Congratulations Jar! Nice work. I honestly felt your anxiety as i read your list so I know the feeling! Sometimes when donating items I ask myself, have I loved this enough? And if I find that I've loved something for ten or twenty years, I can assure myself that it was well loved and now can move to someone else's house. Great work! Sheryl, I read your post--a lot going on there. As for motivation, it can be elusive but for me, seeing other people's progress reminds me that I too can enjoy the satisfaction of progress. Try even 15 minutes today and see if that provides you some strength and focus.

I love reclaiming my space. I am happier with more space.
Top
Jar Lady
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 07:07 AM
Yesterday I donated some items to an organization for young adults with disabilities. The volunteers were collecting things to be given as xmas gifts for their xmas party. I had a list of the types of items they were looking for, and I donated the following:

1. 5 Teddy Bears.
2. 2 tops.
3. Vest with leopard print fur.
4. Nike Messenger Bag.
5. Assorted jewellery, hair accessories, etc.
6. Miniature kitty figurines in a cute little kitty-themed box.

Despite the anxiety I experienced in getting these things together, I am happy I donated them. I was assured by the volunteers that these items would be greatly appreciated by the group.
Top
Tatoulia
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 05:49 AM
Hello! I'll head over there and take a look at it! I'm a relative newbie here too but will the help and support, have cleaned and cleared out most of my place. Will do my best to help and support you! We all will! Hopefly Tillie will be back, she is practical, positive, a cheerleader, etc. but I will do my best for you.
Top
sheryl
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 12:43 AM
My first real post is on "Do I help or don't"; could any of you experienced people, look at my post and comment? And should I post on the Daily chat from now on?Thank you so much, I love reading all the posts, especially from new like me!! And experienced who have been there and are still keeping up the good fight!!
Top
sheryl
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 12:12 AM
I found my reply on Do I help or don't? I'm so confused do I talk on both those sites?? Help, I'm a Newbie to this!!
Top
sheryl
Posted: 11 September 2014 - 12:01 AM
I wrote a thesis on this message board somewhere and now I can't find it!! Any ideas of what I did wrong, for sure??!!
Top
G
Posted: 10 September 2014 - 08:42 PM
Tat, I must have been typing when you posted. Thank you so much for your kind words and making me feel welcome. It is appreciated, along with everyone else who has made effort to do so as yes I do feel very overwhlemed being new and tackling or trying to figure out where to start and how. Big enough challenge right there! Miss LR lots... Hope she is back soon.

P.S.-Good idea about the new thread :)

Peace....
Top
G
Posted: 10 September 2014 - 08:33 PM
Hi Everyone,

Got a few things on my list done today, although there is more that MUST be completed before sleep tonight. There has been power outages where I live causing extra stress and straining, although while I is easy to get stuck in being overwhelemd am working very hard to keep moving forward and hope to complete at least the most necessary tasks and goals tonight.

Tat, Sometimes we need to take rest and keep attention on the things we have accomplished. Sounds like that day for you is today :) Be gentle to you and I hope you have some good self care tonight. See what unfolds tomorrow. Little by little you can do it!

diane, There seems to have been alot of distraction going on aside from focussing on what we are here to work on. No one here should be having to deal with or put up with anybody else's issues, although I guess it apparently happens at times. So we forgive and move on, as we are all imperfect and shall have different views/experiences/truths even. Learn what we can from it and move forward in as positive way possible that works for each of us while supporting others as a group. The minute that stops or hurting has begun, we are all wounded as issues can then be allowed to become bigger than our mutual goals.

Have a great night and awesome day tomorrow everyone!!!

Peace...


Top
Tatoulia
Posted: 10 September 2014 - 08:10 PM
Diane I hate to admit this but after reading all that stuff on the boards, I am discouraged and have lost some of my oomph. Together we can get back on track. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose Tillie. She is a ray of sunshine. I miss LR and everyone else. I am trying to follow your and Tillie's lead by being welcoming and open. I appreciate EVERYONE here. We are having terrible struggles, in more than one area of our lives. Poor G mentioning a tragedy, your struggles, Tillie's struggles. None of us came to hoarding "pure," we all have other issues that fostered our hoarding.

I am starting a new thread, for all of us, called today is a new day, with the hope that we can close this most recent upset and all focus on what we can do to help each other. We can work on hoarding! And take it from me and others here, we can do it best by doing it together. When I first came here I was shocked and upset and dizzy and sick to discover that I am a hoarder. Everyone here helped me to turn that into positive action. Just hearing Tillie say Hooray or LR remind me to drink water, got me to where I am today....well on the road. And Diane, I feel close to you. You are a dear.

I look forward to hearing from G and Sandy and Dianne and Whew and Roxie and Karl and Bitsy--everyone. So let's see what we can accomplish and how we can do it together.

Much love.
Top
diane
Posted: 10 September 2014 - 07:53 PM
hi tat, your post gave me a reason to post tonight. You are doing great, you are honest, all the ups and downs. It is difficult to accept how long it takes to change our situation. It is ok to take days off and to have slow days.
Earlier today I read the posts on here then read the new board that people referred to in their posts. I was so upset and disappointed about all the posts. Thought I was done with this site.
Tillie has been the one constant on this site for years. She has continually shown acceptance, kindness and encouragement. She was in private chat helping me accept my short comings and not give up, then to see all that has been posted, really sad. I hope she will return here, but we were both very hurt and sad with untruths. I have tried to just let it go, but after reading what was written, brutal, I hope you will do all in your power to let Tillie know how much she has contributed to your life and this site and not just toss her aside because someone made up a story to get us "in trouble". Tillie is not paid to put up with all of our crap, and she deserves to be respected and appreciated.
Top
Tatoulia
Posted: 10 September 2014 - 07:22 PM
Hello everyone. I haven't done any of the things I said I would yesterday or today. I am feeling very tired and worn out. Am taking tomorrow off from work and will take care of things then. I am hoping I find the strength to go to my storage spot and get something accomplished. Just going to imagine how good that will make me feel. Hopefully with that thought, and your support, I will get there tomorrow.

Will stream a few hoarders tonight-- they are available for free on my roku. (I don't have cable).
Top
G
Posted: 10 September 2014 - 03:46 PM
Hi Guys!

Today I will work on tidying up some in the kitchen, getting some dishes done, laundry and as ready as can be for a trip out of the city I will be taking in a few days.

Where I live we have had some tragedies in the last 24 hours and while there are some things I must do related to helping make damage better, will have to wait till I am get back to address.

So focus is to get prepared and ready for out of town necesssary trip and fingers crossed hoping all the needs to get done to be succesful can happen in the next few days.

Dianne,I too posted on the other thread after reading your post and seeing what has transpired.

Have a great everyone and happy decluttering and well with accomplishments!

Peace...
Top
Dianne
Posted: 10 September 2014 - 09:20 AM
Rather than repeat everything here I have posted an apology on the Welcome board. Thank you to Karl for planting that seed of disturbance in my heart.
Top
Dianne
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 09:16 PM
Bitsy, so glad to hear your son is feeling stronger. We all feel out of place at times. I am tired and discouraged and negative daily. It takes tremendous effort to get thru a day and at the end sometimes cry knowing I have to get up and do the same things the next day. Spiritual reading a.m. and p.m. help me. Just the fact that you try and keep going shows your strength.

Diane, I am so glad to see you here!! Your emotional strength seems to have more clarity to it. Hard to explain ~ I kind of see you as a crystal that was somewhat cloudy a long time ago and continues to get more and more clear showing all the nuanced beauty inside no matter which way it's turned. {{{BIG HUGS}}} Thanks for your concern for my GSD. Jack is my big, handsome fellow, such a good, good dog. When he goes it will be of the end of an era around here. I can't handle the very big dogs anymore.

Tat, wonderful job clearing out your kitchen and keeping up with it! My kitchen story for today is a big bummer. I'm having some serious problems with short term memory. I tend to leave things out and need to focus on each area to make sure it's clear before bringing the dogs in from outside. Today I was in a rush, called everybody in and shut them in the kitchen/breakfastroom/laundryroom area. About 45 minutes away I remembered that I left 2 big pizza boxes with pretty many pieces on top of the feeding crates. I called Laura 5 times before she picked up. She went in but too late. No more pizza and boxes and oily paper shredded everywhere. That means diarrhea tomorrow. :(

Got some laundry done tonight while watching the grandkids at their house. So I was able to stay out of kmart. After I put it away it'll be some playtime for little cats and Laura will handle getting the dogs settled in. Then to bed. I am beat. Good night all ~~
Top
Tatoulia
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 08:24 PM
Good work on the kitchen, Diane! I hope G and Sandy have had some success with their kitchens too! Be sure to let me know if you were able to get started! It's hard. Luckily I had very few food items and the ones that I did had expiration dates from as long ago as 2003! Not a failure, I told myself. I hope you and others here made some progress and that you feel welcome and supported.

I didn't make any progress on house tonight. But I am going to take my change to bank tomorrow. Last week I took my "closet change" (change found in my Dreaded Closet that I only recently started working in) and it was just about $30. Tomorrow's change is all in a tin, where I put my change from purses and pockets. We will see how much that comes to.

I am also going to quickly identify some stuff for my sister to take on Thursday. Hopefully she'll feel like going to my storage space with me but if not, I'll just choose some stuff from here.

Hope to see you all soon. Special regards to Bitsy--how nice that your son is doing better.
Top
diane
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 06:30 PM
Tat, got the dishes done and counters clean, realized some of clutter was stuff that belongs in garage, on kitchen counter, but when it sits there for more than a couple of days, it confuses me what to do with it, so thanks for reminding me that when kitchen is clean life is better, I even heated up some soup I made and froze, once the pan was clean, and could fill it on counter. Also, the floor mats for the car are clean and dry, sitting by gate, going out to put into car now, you are a big help. Once stuff is out of your trunk and you only return what is suppposed to be there, you will love it.
Top
Tatoulia
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 05:58 PM
Diane!!! It is the only place not suffering from clutter creep. The kitchen and my dining room table. I'm not kidding you, I run dishwasher, clear it out, then put dishes in. I wipe down sink and everything! I don't mean to boast but honestly, my life is so much easier. Since I've significantly changed my cabinets, everything has a home the second it's clean.

I need to follow your lead and get my car cleaned out. It's okay (not great ) in passenger areas but trunk is just another pile of hoarded stuff. I'll make a list when I finally go into it so we can laugh, or cry, about it.

Much love.
Top
diane
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 05:36 PM
Tat, thanks for describing your process of cleaning all cabinets. I did similar process last year, except counters have not stayed clean many days. Your post motivated me to go to kitchen and clean counters.
Today is a new day
Top
Tatoulia
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 05:07 PM
Good to hear from everyone. I recently de cluttered my kitchen, one cabinet at a time. If you've read any of the past posts, I have a terrible hoarding problem with dishes, china, glassware, etc. some family stuff, some antiques, some vintage. Very tough decisions but I cleaned out the kitchen cabinets one at a time, then washed down with soap and water. I didn't have shelf paper (and was going to use that as an excuse to stop-- or even better--not start!) but instead went to linen closet and used linen and cotton napkins. I have a million of them. After I did all the upper cabinets (and trust me, my heart was breaking-- turned out the top shelves of each cabinet was pretty much filled with adorable little boxes such as jewelry boxes and Christmas boxes) I put what I was keeping away and in a logical place. For some of the dishes, I decided to keep just four of each sized plate, which allowed me to have my cake and eat it too. I went to goodwill nearly everyday with my donations, since I felt that keeping them here might lead to backsliding. There was NO usable food in my cabinets. Then I worked on my counters. Not sure but think I completed everything in under two weeks.

My kitchen has remained absolutely clear and clean since then. All dishes are put away, nothing on counters. For the first time ever I have counter space. And when I use stove or oven I don't have to move a thing. I will admit that I had a friend visit and she further scrubbed down the cabinets and completely cleaned my fridge. That was unexpected and very nice. She also taught me some things re keeping kitchen clean.

That's my advice on the kitchen. I am not exaggerating when I say I must've donated 20 cake pans and pie pans. It was wonderful and good and I do not have regrets. I most certainly have regrets with some other stuff I've gotten rid of in the last two months, but the kitchen stuff is out of sight/out of mind. If anyone needs some support or tips on kitchen clean up, I'll try to help. And if you have any ideas, trust me, I need them.

Welcome and love to my fellow hoarders, both old and new. TODAY IS A NEW DAY!
Top
diane
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 04:55 PM
Nice you are letting go of anger about chat. I had a one time only private chat and will not do that again. Chat is for everyone and should be safe. I will not be in chat on Sunday again, so please let it go. I plan to continue to post on here because I feel close to many people on here. I have made mistakes, hope to learn from them. What was done in chat stays in chat, no names on message board of what was said in chat. What if a woman said private things in chat about her worthless husband, we named and quoted her on message board, which is permanent, her husband signs on and sees it.
Today I got up, took care of some business, vacuumed, then back up on roof. Scraped several areas and coated them, like you Dianne, preparing for winter, almost done.
I have always used the patch stuff from can and today used patch in tube with caulk gun, so much faster and less messy. I used the whole thing, only a little left to finish. Have clutter creeping out of garage from my fixit projects, that I plan to put away today.
Dianne, I am grateful you are posting again, and that you have a clean house, sorry about your sweet pooch going down hill. Tat, happy you are posting your progress. karl, you are so right, communication problems happen. I am so sorry I have adhd and can not be in groups whether in person or online, I learn so much from groups, but due to my inability to stay calm when distractions happen. I want you to have a safe place so will not be in chat, so please forgive me and let it go. Think of me as a handicapped person that is begging for understanding rather than condeming me.
Bitsy, your post was so touching. I totally understand your post about feeling old and not as able as others to get things done. I will be 66 y.o. soon, and see how tired I get. Please know we understand all you are going through and do not give up.
Tillie, have to say hello to you, you have helped all of us, and hope you are feeling better.
Welcome Sandy, sounds like you are doing great and able to put things into perspective
Top
diane
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 04:55 PM
Nice you are letting go of anger about chat. I had a one time only private chat and will not do that again. Chat is for everyone and should be safe. I will not be in chat on Sunday again, so please let it go. I plan to continue to post on here because I feel close to many people on here. I have made mistakes, hope to learn from them. What was done in chat stays in chat, no names on message board of what was said in chat. What if a woman said private things in chat about her worthless husband, we named and quoted her on message board, which is permanent, her husband signs on and sees it.
Today I got up, took care of some business, vacuumed, then back up on roof. Scraped several areas and coated them, like you Dianne, preparing for winter, almost done.
I have always used the patch stuff from can and today used patch in tube with caulk gun, so much faster and less messy. I used the whole thing, only a little left to finish. Have clutter creeping out of garage from my fixit projects, that I plan to put away today.
Dianne, I am grateful you are posting again, and that you have a clean house, sorry about your sweet pooch going down hill. Tat, happy you are posting your progress. karl, you are so right, communication problems happen. I am so sorry I have adhd and can not be in groups whether in person or online, I learn so much from groups, but due to my inability to stay calm when distractions happen. I want you to have a safe place so will not be in chat, so please forgive me and let it go. Think of me as a handicapped person that is begging for understanding rather than condeming me.
Bitsy, your post was so touching. I totally understand your post about feeling old and not as able as others to get things done. I will be 66 y.o. soon, and see how tired I get. Please know we understand all you are going through and do not give up.
Tillie, have to say hello to you, you have helped all of us, and hope you are feeling better.
Welcome Sandy, sounds like you are doing great and able to put things into perspective
Top
bitsy
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 03:59 PM
Dianne, I don't know how you get all that done.

Time is going by so fast! Already almost the middle of September. It is a little cooler. nice. but just a reminder that before we know it it will be really cold and harder to do a lot of things.

I have not done anything about the NE house and property. My son is getting stronger and yesterday we went to the SE house and got five bags of trash and four bags of recycling out to the street for pick-up today. So today my back is really hurting and my stomach is upset so we won't be working there today. He is adding up all the hospital and related bills he has received so far. very depressing.

Roxie. I hope you are doing better every day.

Chat room.. Too fast. was a new experience for me. I felt out of place. Even on the boards I feel out of place. Everybody seems so motivated and gung ho. I am old and tired and discouraged. I try not to be negative but it is hard. I try to keep going anyway. Sometimes people here give me hope. At least I know I am not the only one who struggles with this. I wish there had been something like this 25 or 35 years ago.

We have to go to store and run some errands, Bye.
Top
Dianne
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 01:42 PM
Getting back on track ~~

It's been hard keeping up with maintenance the past week. My live-in daughter and I have had doctor appointments. After years of neglect there's a lot to check out.

My last German Shepherd, Jackson, is going downhill with DM (similar to ALS in humans) and requires a great deal more care every day.

I've been like a little squirrel prepping for winter. Farmers' Almanac is calling for a rough one. I've been getting stuff together for winterizing the beach place. I got in 1,000 lbs. of salt for water treatment, 800 lbs. of cat litter and hundreds of lbs. of dry and canned dog and cat food. We've bottled over 100 gallons of water for drinking and for toilet flushing. When electricity goes out the well doesn't pump and we lose water.

The next 2 weeks are pretty busy so I'm down to very basic maintenance and not all that is getting done. Trash is getting to the dump, animals care is current but good food and healthy habits are gone. It's been pizza and snack food and staying up later messing up sleep habits we had worked on. Laundry is piling up and I was sorely tempted to run into kmart and buy something clean. I'm kind of kicking myself for all the clean stuff I had that was given away in dejunking. The hoarder inside taunting, "I TOLD you not to let that go!" Tonight I'm babysitting and will do laundry there.

Keep up the good work everybody!
Top
G
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 01:09 PM
Dianne, Thank you for clarifying the two nn's and big "D". It is nice to hear anothe person happy for my choice to stay, as well as the warm welcome :)

Look forward to working with you and making lots of changes in life working this site and the great people here like yourself, Jar :ady, Beverly, Karl, LR etc etc etc...
Top
Dianne
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 12:54 PM
Hey G,

I'm Dianne with 2 n's and use a larger blue font.

Suzie gave details in her Welcome to the New Board post.

We haven't met but I'm glad you're staying. :)

Top
G
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 12:53 PM
Wish there was a window for private chat or a way to put someone on ignore(not that that is ideal, although at leas a way to control and remove someone else's negativity if they are bent on it).

Looks like Sunday was not the first nor the last. Wish I had been in there, as I would have helped this "Suzie".

Cory is who owns the site right? Maybe he can access the chat logs and get to the bottom of what is going on here and who is all causing the troubles? Maybe this has been going on for a long time Diane?

Sorry I did not post to your post Tat, although am getting ready and heading out the door for some errands. Will check back later.

Wishing everyone well with accomplishments today!
Top
G
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 12:45 PM
Oh no Diane!!!

That is horrible. I have no idea who was even n chat yesterday as after Sudnay night decided to take a breather, so cannot be of help. Between what went on Sunday meeting and hearing that, maybe we need a moderator? Karl is usually in there...

So, maybe he knows? Sad...very sad as this is a support site and well everyone who comes here needs support. Is hard to feel it when negative things happen or people are not kind :(
Top
Tatoulia
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 12:40 PM
Oops! As I was composing my post two other people posted--not ignoring you! Will read and write later!
Top
Tatoulia
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 12:38 PM
Hello everyone! Glad to see you are up and at 'em, Sandy! I am at office today but did get dishwasher emptied from last night's run. My sister has agreed to take some of my mother's things, notably her beautiful antique wine and champagne glasses so I will see that they are ready for her before she comes in on Thursday. Having my sister as a support system is new for me! Very excited about her visit!

Have a good day, everyone! Nice to meet you Sandy. I'm ready for the real challenges! Best wishes to you all.
Top
G
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 12:37 PM
Karl, Great advice and perspective. Thanks for sharing. Am wiling to chalk it up to "communication failure" and move forward without hard feelings here.

Annonymous, Excellent words of wisodom, as well as important points to be honoured for this site and interactions to be kept positive/supportive :)

Jar Lady, I too find your input and presence to be highly valueable to myself and can tell, others in chat do too. You have a lightness and humor that makes it easier to share(amongst several other positive qualities). Appreciate your support around what you saw despite being new as well. Your words were so sweeet, they made my day...maybe week or month! Yep, I am staying for sure and thanks for being a friend here who has made me feel welcome and clear that I provide positive support in your chat experience.

Sandy, Not sure either how anyone could find bad mouthing or untiing against others fun(nevermind why anyone mature would do it), although do recall it from junior high. At any rate, I am here to focus on improving my environment and supporting others doing the same. Thanks for your support and welccome to the board. Hope you get lots done in your kitchen today! :)

Today will be my first day posting here about what I am going to do and am excited to be part of this community not only in chat, although now the boards. Am very optomistic about the support and believe working with other people dealing with similar issues, will be of great help especially on the days that are more overwhelming. Am relatively new, although guess I will just jump in here too!

I shall work on some areas of clutter in my kitchen as well today.....the thought of it is completely overwhelming as I feel I do not know where to start and that areas which had improved have backslid, although am commited and going to slay that dragon slow and steady.

Peace...
Top
Dianne
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 12:34 PM
Not sure what's going on here.......

There's a new person, Suzie, on the Welcome thread who says she will never come back to "this awful place" after going into chat yesterday, being treated rudely and told to leave.

Is there a window to open for a private chat if needed? If not maybe people can exchange emails if they want to talk privately.

Cory set up this site for everyone.
Top
sandy
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 10:27 AM
Hi guys, why all the talk about the past, what are you doing today to solve your hoarding problems? Easy to focus on a problem instead of doing work on your hoard. Focusing on negative people or behaviors of others is a good way to avoid cleaning up your side of the street!!! Look at your part in any situation and improve yourself. Bad mouthing others is fun and uniting but not a good way to live your life.
Today I am going clean kitchen. Look for things I can throw away. Please write about your accomplishments today. Lets stay focused on success.
Top
Jar Lady
Posted: 09 September 2014 - 09:34 AM
Hi! I just wanted to offer my support to G, who I feel was unfairly ganged up on at the last meeting. G and I are both relatively new, and I am relieved to hear that she is not discouraged from continuing to attend. G's input at meetings is friendly, positive, empathetic, and very encouraging to me and others.
Top
anonymous
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 07:02 PM
Whether on message boards or in chat this is a support group. There will be people we like or don't like. But respect must be paramount. This isn't the first time conflicts have arisen nor will it be the last. At the very least, apologies are always a good thing. It acknowledges that mistakes were made, intentional or not.

It is important that newcomers never feel excluded. Everyone comes here looking for help. Today's newcomers are tomorrow's mentors. Keep calm and support each person.
Top
Karl
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 06:00 PM
As I said during the chat last night, I think the best approach is to call it "communication failure" and move on, ideally with nobody having any hard feelings. Even if you think someone else acted in a way that you wouldn't consider appropriate for yourself. (This applies to today's confrontation, too.)

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate. Let's try to all remain friends.
Top
G
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 05:30 PM
Diane, That was big of you to apologize for blowing up in chat last night and being very negative telling either myself or the group to shut up...not sure?

It is very concerning for myself and am sure others who are new(maybe some who are not?), to have experienced that volatiility in chat last night. It is a support chat and as such would hope we all make an effort to be kind and there for each other.

For those who were not there, since my name has been brought up. It was Jar Lady's turn and she had just said she was going to pass, as she had to find her cat. I responded to her comment wishing her well finding her cat. Immediately there was a "shut up etc". Apparently between Jar Lady sharing about her cat and my comment being able to be typed, diane's turn had started.

So at most an innocent unintentional comment duriing her "talk time", of which resulted in nasty words and support around them by some.

Personally, I do not agree with that type of behavior which is all I had made clear despite some defending it. Bet it if had been me saying it to someone, would have been completely pounced on as despite being a good and supportive person....am new and don't have that rapport built with many here. I would hope even if I had been around long enough to have solid friends here that it would still not be considered ok if I treated anyone whether new or old that way....OR that anyone that has been here a longer time think it is ok for that reason to say things that are so negative and unsupportive to new(er) folks.

I "get" and it has been made clear that diane has a specific request that no one speak except for tillie during her turn in group chat. Firstly again, I was still responding to Jar Lady who passed her turn to Diane...wishing her well finding her cat. Secondly, errors from those of us who are not familiar with the nuaces or different rules for different people are going to happen. To have aggession not only directed(understand there was frustration and why despite there not being any intention) and supported by some in the group is quite disturbing.

Vi, I do not believe there was anything malicious or negative said about diane after she had left by myself or Beverly. I get that you all know each other well and it seemed felt the need to defend diane as opposed to be real about what went on.....we do that with our close friends sometimes(not so good for an innocent new person to have to bear or anyone else who also has stress and concerntraion issues as well either). I know you this is a close knit group and some of us are new, although am not taking blame or responsability for someone else's issues or ok to be made out like I was nsaty for standing up for myself or the group(whoever the shut up was directed towards). [ P.S.- you were logged in late last night in chat .... still on into the morning my time. Just an fyi in case your computer is doing weird things.]

In a perfect world enough time between Jar lady passing he turn to diane while finding her cat and my comment wishing her well doing so, would have occured before her time started. It was a supportive comment towards a member in chat that resulted in a volatile reaction that was not ok. In saying such, the focus seemed to be placed upon myself or Beverly for not being ok with it, instead of where it belonged with clarity that yes none of us should be speaking to each other that way in support chat. There was nothing mean or intentionl done towards diane.

It certainly left a bad taste in my mouth for sure, although since hearing that is the first time for that to be the case am not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Before last night, chat had been mostly a positive experience for myslef that I was looked forward to, as did Jar Lady share who started same day as I.

Am not here to argue or debate anything with anyone about last night, as frankly it was stressful and exhasuting enough experiencing it once. Quite silly when you put it into perscpective really.

Am here to give and receive support like everyone else and we are all human, as well as have different needs. Hopefully we can all move forward now and take whatever lesson if any, each of us may have gotten. So long as we all treat each other with respect and allow for human error(not intentional negativity), it should stay a great suportive place.

Look forward to getting back to that and posting here as well to give and receive the support this site has been intended to provide.

All the best to the new friends I have made so far and everyone else, who I do not yet know! We all need each other and the journey getting where we want/need to go is going to be amazing!!! :)

Peace....
Top
Dianne
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 12:40 PM
Hey Diane ~

I totally hear you. The very few times I was on chat over a year and a half ago wasn't for me. It goes so fast, I couldn't keep up and honestly I didn't like having to sit in one place for a couple hours. I felt it wasn't right for me to get what I needed and split. If others had sat thru the conversations then I should too. I found that the message boards at my pace, when I wanted, worked much better for my personality.

As far as leaving the group and problem solving on your own it could be a good choice for a time. I had been thinking about that for several months as I wasn't accomplishing a whole lot, I was spending too much time here and it felt like, for me, all I was doing was socializing. Then I was forced into it by outside circumstances for a few months. I took what I had learned from the wonderful people here, you included my friend, and moved forward hugely. Of course I missed everyone.

There was a time when the only posters were Tillie, MayMay and me. There were a lot more on chat but they didn't post. So, being the *one who has to provide all* I felt like I had to post multiple times daily to support the board. When I was doing my *inner work* of hoarding I realized I could put that aside as well as all the material stuff. It was very hard.

However I had a good support system in the real world. My isolation is self-imposed. A soon as I reached out there were family members and some friends I held at a distance who were happy to ~ I get stuck here....... my first reaction is that they oozed in taking over my stuff......it wasn't always pleasant. My next reaction is they helped. My next reaction is push them away again I NEED my isolation, I'm not used to contact and it's still too irritating. Yesterday I talked to a neighbor and her kids in my yard, a guy who stopped by unannounced to help (he is a wonderful guy I don't mean to put him down) and my ex-husband all in the space of 15 minutes. They actually overlapped. The rest of the day I was scattered and full of anxiety ~ did I sound stupid (of course), did I talk too much and too fast (of course), did I hop from one thing to the next the rest of the day (of course). It sucked.

You have made HUGE, HUGE changes here. I love seeing how you have grown in insights, your willingness to change, your ability to help others and all the accomplishments you've achieved in real life. If it's time for some self-soothing in solitude your heart will know.

As part of the dejunking process I am accepting that there are seasons in life. Sometimes it's ok to let go of what we've been doing to try something that might work better. Remember you and I had a conversation about my fight with my married daughter. It was, as she put it, life-changing, and it still isn't 100% right between us. Probably never will be. But I've accepted that maybe the time had come for that relationship to change. Sometimes we evolve thru pain and destruction.

For some the relationships here are vital to continued connection and growth. And that's great. God bless the internet for opening new avenues of communication and friendships. These relationships can be like family, loving, supporting, challenging, fighting. When the family base has done its job the younger members go out and try their wings. Or it's like a support group in real life. You go maybe a couple times a week for an hour or so, then you go back out and test your skills in the real world. The family/group is always there to welcome you back, listen to your triumphs or failings and cheer you on. As you can still do for them.

None of my ramblings are meant to say leave. They're meant to say listen to your heart. Is your decision the result of a blow-up? In which case, you may just need a short break. Or have you had some stirrings in your heart for awhile and the blow-up was the push you needed? Heading out for a time doesn't mean you can't come back.

The most important thing is to know you are much loved and honored and respected here. You are a shining example of openness and self-sufficiency. It sounds like in the real world you do much good in your clinic work and caring for dogs. Which you do so beautifully ~ you actually interact a lot with them, not just dogsit.

If you leave for a time do so in strength and love. And know you are always in my prayers. And come back dearheart.


Top
Tatoulia
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 11:58 AM
Ps to Vi! Congratulations on your bravery--glad to hear you have a therapist appt scheduled!
Top
Tatoulia
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 11:57 AM
Dianne, thank you so much for your post. I cannot thank you enough. You made me feel worthwhile.

Wishing everyone a beautiful day. It is lovely here on the East Coast and I hope to read everyone's posts. You are important to me. You never fail to build me up.
Top
Vi0l33t
Posted: 08 September 2014 - 11:36 AM
Good Morning.

I'm very sorry I didn't return to chat last night, frankly I have to admit I was appalled by the behavior I witnessed and didn't really want to be there. G, if you read this, I'd like you to know that I don't think you or Diane handled things well last night, however the things you and Beverly said after she left were so disappointing to me that I don't think I will be in chat if either of you are on. I'll keep checking the message board though, because many of you have become very important to me as a community.

Diane, you are fantastic, and even if you did lose your cool last night I hope you keep coming back.

As for me, I'd like you to know that I'm still not acquiring, I have let a little clutter creep in here and there, but Mister has been really good about helping to remind me to keep it in check, and has been helping to facilitate my cleaning needs without complaint. We still haven't gotten more shelving, but baby steps. I've been tossing out things that break that I've had problems throwing out in the past, i.e broken toys, and socks with holes. It still makes me sick to my stomach to do it, but I know it's the best thing for me to do. I'm also still organizing the few boxes of things that are unorganized still and if I find an item unacceptable it gets tossed.
I still have a long way to go. I'm also finally getting some things started that I should have a long time ago. I cleared it with my insurance and I'm making an appointment to see a therapist next month. It scares the hell out of me but I can't keep going on like I have been.
Again, I'm sorry I haven't been around, life changed a bit after we moved. I've made a few friends and both kids are in school now. I've been expanding my portfolio, which is good too.
If anyone has skype they can contact me there. my skype name is vi0l33ts.
See you all soon, lots of love,
Vi0l33t
Top
Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : What are you doing today
                      26                     

Reply to this topic
best live chat

Interactive Hoarding Help
Click Boxes Below

best live chat
 
 
Site Mailing List 
"Cleaning with Care and Compassion TM"

Hoarding Cleanup
Nationwide Hoarding Resources Directory

Copyright 2009 - 2024 HoardingCleanup.com

Design Your Own Website, Today!
iBuilt Design Software
Give it a try for Free