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dave
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Posted: 29 October 2014 - 02:40 PM
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mel, brooks palmer just put up a post about inheritance clutter. I think you may have already worked to these viewpoints, but I thought you might like to see it.
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dave
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Posted: 29 October 2014 - 01:37 PM
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bitsy, do you have some kind of recurring trash service, weekly-bimonthly-monthly?
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dave
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Posted: 29 October 2014 - 01:33 PM
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bitsy, in newer houses receptacles outside are on something called a ground fault circuit. I can't explain them technically, but when they quit working, there is a reset button to press. In my kitchen the circuit is based on a receptacle and the reset button is on the receptacle. The outlet in my back yard is hooked up to a special double wide breaker in the breaker box. Sometimes rainy weather will make that breaker turn off and I have to go turn it back on. (With winter coming on, it may not be wise to leave an extension cord to an outside storage building plugged in 24-7.) If you or your son can clear a path to your breaker box, you could check for tripped breakers.
I hope you are feeling better soon.
bitsy, I'm finding that as I get older I have body parts that don't work as well as they used to. I know you toughed it out in a car last year but please please try to find a way to get yourself inside for sleeping this year. I have been hoping you could come up with a way to make a soft spot for a sleeping bag (or quilts and blankets) on the perimeter of some area of clutter. I would think being able to stretch out and (even if it is cold) to have some protection from the elements would help you to be and feel healthier.
If decision making is a problem even to get you that far, please post here about the stress, decisions and challenges and let us encourage you and cheer you on.
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bitsy
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Posted: 29 October 2014 - 01:05 PM
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i have been sick. i have not begun on a space inside and now the electric plug on the front porch just quit working. the electricity to the shed is plugged in there ... the printer is in the shed. maybe i won't have to use it again for a while. my grand daughter did not get much out of the shed. i can't tell where she took anything. the plug on the porch is where i usually plug in my computer to charge it. i am stressing out about the rich relative coming to visit. the temp is supposed to go down to low 40's tonite. it was raining but the sun is out now. i will try to go find some of my warmer clothes, check bank balance, find doctor's phone number, and get a birthday card ready to mail.
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Dianne
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Posted: 29 October 2014 - 10:47 AM
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Dave, I guess I've always been a little too *close* with animals. After the initial splat, wiping my head with my hand, a curse word or two, I gotta laugh at the precision of nature.
Our best bird poop story ~ my ex-husband, my kids, my dad and I were at the beach. Everyone but my ex was holding up French fries for the seagulls who surrounded us in big, flapping wings and snatched them from our fingers. It was great fun; joyful and laugh inducing! My ex said, "Don't do that, you're going to get pooped on." Well you know he was the only one to get a headful!
Mel, you're amazing! BIG WTG!! What a wonderful holiday season you're going to have this year with a clean home, the man you love with you and successfully combining your lives!
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dave
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Posted: 29 October 2014 - 08:13 AM
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Mel, sounds like you are doing well with the cleaning process. Good work!
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dave
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Posted: 29 October 2014 - 08:12 AM
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by that criteria, I am definitely not an outdoors person. I do not appreciate being the victim of avian target practice! :)
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Mel99
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Posted: 29 October 2014 - 12:35 AM
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Hi everyone, hope you're happy and well today!
Dianne, sorry that there doesn't seem to be a lot of options for your pain :(
When I vowed yesterday to get home during daylight so I could make more progress on my second bedroom, I clearly forgot that it's been getting dark well before I leave to go home from work. Oops. I did grab a few armloads of clothing and sorted through them and put together a full bag for donation. I completely filled my garbage bin and got rid of a ton of old stuff from my medicine cabinet (not medicine - stuff like old eye creams and whatnot). I emptied out a few old bottles and threw them in the recycling bin. I also finally threw away all the old bras and underwear from the underwear drawer in the second bedroom.
My boyfriend officially put in his 30 day notice that he will be moving out at the end of November, so the clock is ticking. We haven't really discussed the specific plans yet but he did say that he'll move his big stuff the last weekend of Nov, so that will be when the second bedroom will have to be clear enough to move his bed in. All I can do is keep working at it.
Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!
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dave
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Posted: 28 October 2014 - 10:12 PM
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Bitsy-have you figured out a spot you can start working on to get you inside?
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Dianne
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Posted: 28 October 2014 - 07:28 AM
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Diamonds would be pretty sweet to find!
Dave, that's so nice of you to remember. :) Jack and the others still love Story Time. Although Laura says no one figured out the Hardy Boys mysteries like Dakota with his intent gaze. Jack is slowing down a lot. He is such a deeply good dog. I love him dearly.
Hey Mel, no PT wouldn't help. It's a combination of things ~ bad scoliosis, 3 stress fractures from falling off horses, herniated discs and vertebrae that are compressed towards the rear causing sciatic pain and numbing down the leg. Of course age has worsened it. Doc said pain management with 3x yearly cortisone shots was an option, then surgery. Bumming thought but it is keeping me focused on simplifying my life even more.
It's so good to hear how you and your boyfriend are talking about what would bother him and how he is supporting your cleaning efforts! You're doing so great! Those mice are tricky little critters. Even with 9 indoor cats I'm starting to see signs that the mice are ready to move in as the weather chills. Ours are pretty cute ~ very small and gray/brown.
When we only had 4 cats who were indoor/outdoor and I was working a lot Laura did her Dr. Dolittle thing and befriended a couple she named William Michael and Michael William. I came home one night and she was watching tv while giving crumbs to a little rascal sitting on the sofa next to her. Another time one followed her up the stairs (she says she could tell them apart, I couldn't) and he was willing to be near her but watched me from a distance. I was not amused at first but got used to it. We have better mousing cats now. :)
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Mel99
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Posted: 27 October 2014 - 11:02 PM
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Good evening all, I hope your days were better today. LR, I hope things go well with the carpet people tomorrow! Diane, it must have been scary repairing your roof while it was still so windy, glad you're ok! Dianne, hope your back keeps getting better and you're feeling brighter - is physical therapy an option for you?
I had a pretty unproductive weekend and a relatively productive day today.
My boyfriend has a family member unexpectedly staying with him for a few weeks, and since his place is pretty small, he will be coming to me for our usual visit times. This means that I have to not only work on cleaning, I also need to finish the job instead of leaving half-sorted boxes all over the place. When he came over on Friday he told me he could see the progress I've been making and even commented a couple of times on areas that he went into (hey, you cleaned the bathroom too!) so that made me feel good. We discussed the types of clutter that bother him and he said his biggest issue is with knick knacks (basically anything that's there for decoration and requires dusting). Of course I have a ton of knick knacks but I'm willing to part with a lot of them. He said it took 14 years to get my house to its current state so I can't expect to finish it quickly. He left on Sunday around 3:30 but my allergies had been bothering me and I took benadryl that kicked in around 4 and i took a nap instead of cleaning :)
Today I didn't get home until after dark, and there's no easily accessible working lamp in my second bedroom, so I just grabbed a few boxes to sort through. I fully sorted through about 5 boxes, so that was good. I am hoping tomorrow I can get home before dark and finish sorting through the clothes in that room. As of right now my garbage can and recycling bins are both about 75% full. I should be able to fit two or three more bags of garbage in before garbage pickup on Wednesday morning.
I'm still dealing with the damned mice. This morning when I was getting ready, I saw a well-fed black mouse running around under my coffee table. I moved two of my traps over to near where I saw it but no capture yet.
Also, I LOVE the idea of a creeping clutter movie poster!
Have a great Tuesday everyone!
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Dave
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Posted: 27 October 2014 - 08:30 PM
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I saw a site today about book buddies, young children reading to cats at an animal shelter in berks county PA. Made me think of Laura and Jack.
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Dave
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Posted: 27 October 2014 - 03:59 PM
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Hidden rocks to return for. Diamonds?
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Dianne
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Posted: 27 October 2014 - 11:27 AM
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Thanks, LR! I hope your stress levels start going down soon. Decision making seems to amp up stress for hoarders in all areas. :( I'm glad the carpet people will be in soon to help with the flood mess. That will make you feel much better!
Diane, I hope you get some well-deserved rest this week. I totally agree with Tat ~ congrats on getting the roof repaired and even bigger congrats on keeping it in perspective!! When I'm tired and worn out I always make things worse. :( It's so cool that you have *buried treasures* to find! I love rocks too and the idea of finding stashes of them sounds fun!
Tat, good for you to wrestle down that clutter creep today. :)
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Diane
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Posted: 27 October 2014 - 10:04 AM
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Tat. Fun to make a movie with posters, maybe next Halloween. Karl mentioned making a board game for creeping clutter, months ago. Only we know how scary it can be!! This week in honor of Halloween, I will join you Tat, tackling creeping clutter. Today I plan to do dishes, shower, wash hair, clean bathroom first.
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Tatoulia
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Posted: 27 October 2014 - 09:02 AM
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Special shout-out to Tillie! Missing you!
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Tatoulia
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Posted: 27 October 2014 - 09:01 AM
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Good morning everyone! Happy to read your posts! Going to sweep up today and also wipe down the kitchen. CLUTTER CREEP--it's everywhere! If I were an artist I'd make the movie posters. I can visualize them but unable to put on paper. (Don't Open The Door!)
Have a wonderful day, everyone! Diane, congratulations on keeping the roof in perspective--hard to do, especially when tired and worn out!
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Diane
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Posted: 26 October 2014 - 08:31 PM
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Thanks LR for your post, especially the Creeping Clutter halloween movie!!!! Still smiling. Stress is a challenge, I felt sick at the clinic Friday, due to being worn out from so much work past couple of weeks, and difficulty sleeping. Wind blew a little of my roof off yesterday, huge storm, patched it while wind still blowing, pretty exciting. Many people here had trees blown over on their house, so a little missing roof was nothing. Today had fun digging up more hidden rocks. previous owners were rock collectors and buried rocks when they moved thinking they would come back and get them, found a new stash today under a ledge. It was cold, but I love the acquiring even if it is just rocks!!! Hope everyone got more house work done than I did.
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LR2014
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Posted: 26 October 2014 - 02:58 PM
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Happy Sunday! Great to hear from you, Barb, and I'm glad to know that you're loving your job. Diane, best wishes with all your latest projects; I like trying to envision all these improvements (painting, etc.) that you keep on making. Bitsy, yea for being able to print out those things for your son. Dave, I wish I could send you some of the unusually hot weather we are still having here; it has been in the upper 80's this weekend! (Think we could can this heat for the wintertime??) Dianne, it is so encouraging to read about all the progress you've made over time; it helps me so much to know that the changes that so many of us desire really can happen! Tatoulia, thanks as always for the encouragement you give on here.
Creeping Clutter: sounds like a good name for an October 31 movie flick.
I'm not feeling well this weekend. Some is because of allergies, and some is related to stress because of a lot of things that are going on with me and lots of decisions I'm needing to make. I do feel well enough to get some work done here at home, though. Have carpet people coming on Tuesday to deal with the aftermath of flooding from last weekend. (Yeah, I know . . . same song, 50th verse for me. More flooding.) I'm trying to clear as much living room floor space as possible in the hopes that they will do a little extra carpet cleaning while they are here (i.e. will clean more than just the flooded area).
Lots of hugs.
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Dianne
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Posted: 26 October 2014 - 09:32 AM
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Yay Bitsy! Mailbox and printer both up and running! Cold weather is not my friend either. Like you and Dave the countdown for spring has begun. :)
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Dave
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Posted: 25 October 2014 - 08:47 PM
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Hey bitsy, I don't do well with the cold either-not looking forward to this winter. But, there is another spring on the way and it is my intention to be around to see it. Mailbox good! Assistance good! Maybe something fun to laugh about will turn up tomorrow. Hope the day goes well for you!
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bitsy
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Posted: 25 October 2014 - 01:33 PM
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thanks Dave and Dianne. i managed to get my printer to work last nite and printed the papers my son needed to apply for assistance.
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Dianne
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Posted: 25 October 2014 - 10:32 AM
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Bitsy, I'm so sorry there is one more aggravation to deal with. But I'm really glad you told us.
Your tiredness sounds like it comes from deep inside. These are the times I wish we could do more for each other than just post on a message board.
In the Gratitude thread you were thankful that it was warm and sunny. Keep those thoughts of all the things you are grateful for. They might not give physical energy but those thoughts restore heart, soul and mind energy.
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dave
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Posted: 24 October 2014 - 09:50 PM
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That post sounds really discouraged. I hope Saturday comes up a better day for you!
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bitsy
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Posted: 24 October 2014 - 01:20 PM
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the mailbox has fallen down or been knocked down. i am tired.
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Dianne
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Posted: 24 October 2014 - 10:35 AM
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LR, congratulations on getting rid of the old vehicle (AND getting paid for it YAY!) And it's wonderful that you know someone who will happily use your office and school supplies. It feels good when extras can be donated instead of tossed.
Diane, good to read how much progress you're making even while working! The turquoise wall and white wall with turquoise shelving sound beautiful! It's great too, that you connected with a good, new doctor. What a lovely gift she gave you, her favorite rock! That's a good example for us to be that open ~ freely giving away a meaningful object.
Barb, so good to see you back!! At 62 I totally hear you about not having the stamina or bounce-back-abilities that we used to. Good for you to get the doggies out for awhile so you can clean without too much interruption. Although I'm sure Frank Kitty is fascinated and would love to *help* you. When it's blitz time here we take the dogs to grooming an playtime too.
Enjoy your breaks today everyone!
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Barb
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Posted: 24 October 2014 - 09:57 AM
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Hi friends, It's been a while since I posted---not since I went back to work. I have a four day weekend and am feeling good, so I am blitz cleaning. I am ashamed to say that my house is as bad as it has ever looked. The dust bunnies have become dust yetis. I love my job, but some days it takes so much out of me that I just have no more energy left when I come home. At 61, I just don't have the stamina and the ability to bounce back or push on through that I did at 20. That's life. Already today I have taken out two full garbage bags of rubbish. The kitchen and living room are priorities today. The entry way is all done except for the vacuuming. The dogs are having a mini vacation. I took them to the groomer this morning to be bathed and trimmed. Then she will walk them next door to Doggie Daycare. It is worth the expense to be able to clean and de-clutter without them getting in the way. I can get so much more done. I wish there was Kitty Daycare for Frank. I have missed the daily encouragement from all of you and hope everyone is doing well. I'll try to review previous posts on my breaks.
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Diane
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Posted: 23 October 2014 - 08:35 PM
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LR so great reading that you gave away supplies to kids that can use them, and to have the car scrapped!!!!!! Money in your pocket on top of it too, congrats on progress. Tat, so happy to hear you are looking for creeping clutter and that you are continuing to help your mom in a loving, caring way. You both inspire me this rainy day. Creeping clutter has reappeared since I worked so much this week. Yesterday had to be at a clinic at 7am, then another one in another town and got home at 7pm. Both were very busy, and today I am pleasantly tired. Day off today so had planned to do more than I did. I washed dishes, vacuumed 2 rooms, organized my wood stash in wood shed, cleared one wall so can paint it, one wall is now turquoise, this will be white probably with turquoise shelves. the walls have never been painted and have 20 years of cob webs and plenty of spiders, so cleaned walls today, never decluttered before, so was exciting seeing possibilities in there. Tomorrow is my last long day clinic. Next week, shorter clinics. Looking forward to slowing down and working on clutter again. Yesterday went to new doctor between clinics. She is wonderful, kindred soul, rock collector, she gave me her favorite rock she had at office. Today I gathered some cool rocks from my yard to wash and make a sculpture for her. Nice catching up on posts on here, happy to hear of clean counters, and other progress, as Tillie would say, WTG!!
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Tatoulia
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Posted: 23 October 2014 - 06:48 PM
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Yay LR! Fantastic work! Very pleased for you. Plus I've been missing you so I'm glad you posted! I'm going to clean my kitchen now. Noticed some clutter creep and thought about Dianne's post re her clear counters! I agree with Dianne's daughter, it is so nice to cook with ckear counters.
Much love to all. Missing Roxie, Bitsy, Tillie and Diane. And everybody else--if I forgot to mention you, it means there's clutter in my brain, too!
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LR2014
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Posted: 23 October 2014 - 06:05 PM
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Hi to all. I wish to report that yesterday, I finally got an old vehicle towed off . . . sold for scrap metal. Now it is no longer an eyesore (and I have more money in my pocket). Yea!
I also just finished going through a few excess office and school supplies and giving some of them to an appreciative neighbor who has a number of school-aged children. (This makes only a dent in my supply, but at least I made a dent!)
Have a good evening, everybody.
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Dianne
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Posted: 23 October 2014 - 10:47 AM
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Mel, I am so, so happy for you!!!
It's wonderful that the plumber was kind, respectful and professional. Giving you a heads up on potential problems is helpful too. The biggest burden is off and you are in control of your home! Yay for you!!
Just my opinion but I would have the plumber come back rather than let your boyfriend do it. You are very fortunate to have a man who wants to do some of those chores for you. But I think you're right about the honey-do list. Let him settle in comfortably and there will be plenty of other things he can help you with in the coming years. :)
I'm also so happy that you're feeling good about your rooms in general! Everybody has problem closets, etc. but when you can walk thru most of your living spaces and feel good that is a HUGE accomplishment!
When my live-in daughter (for those of you newer people she has physical and developmental disabilities) were preparing meals for ourselves and the dogs at a clean kitchen counter recently, all of a sudden, she got very animated. Laura said, "Mommy isn't it so exciting that we can have a clean counter to work on now? I know it's silly because for most people that's normal but for us it's so exciting!"
We take great pleasure in those things now and I'm grateful for that. What most people take for granted we are now aware of and thankful for ~ those small (big for us) everyday things that make life so much easier.
May each of you find something today that you accomplished and feel great about!
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Mel99
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Posted: 23 October 2014 - 01:00 AM
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Hi all,
Tatoulia, you are so sweet to be worrying on my behalf. Thank you!
I'm relieved this part is taken care of and I'm already looking at options for faucets. I had no idea they could be so expensive! My boyfriend thinks he can install a new one himself, so trying to decide if I'm going to do that or just get it done before he moves in (I hate the idea of having a honey-do list for him before he even gets here). I really liked the plumber, I'll probably ask for him if I do end up having them come to install the faucet for me. He was very straightforward with me, which I appreciated. He let me know about potential issues since my house (and plumbing) is older, and he was quick and efficient. He got all three leaks in the shower fixed up and sealed up a couple other issues in that area, and then inspected the faucet in the kitchen all within the 1 hour minimum. It's not cheap (but are any plumbers really?) but I think he did a good job. He also turned everything on to show me that the leak was gone and one thing that might cause a leak (if the faucet is on full blast). I put on a dvd of a tv show I like and also had my computer on and running while he was here so I had enough to distract me.
I'm feeling pretty positive about my rooms in general. I still have the second bedroom to make major progress on, but I feel like once that's mostly sorted out I'll be in good shape. Yes, there's still lots of closets and drawers and storage areas, but I think those will feel more doable once the last room is mostly done.
Unfortunately I'm back to work tomorrow, I wish I could have taken the whole week as I originally planned.
Thank you all for all of your kind words and thoughts and support through this process. You don't know how much it means to me to be able to really talk about this stuff without worrying about being/feeling judged (well, OK, maybe you do ;)).
Have a great Thursday everyone!
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Tatoulia
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Posted: 22 October 2014 - 02:30 PM
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Congratulations, Mel! Believe it or not, I've been experiencing some anxiety for you today! You lived through it! I would suggest getting the kitchen faucet ASAP. I know that as a hoarder, I let things go too long. Keep your momentum going so that you can save your cabinets! So happy to hear that he was nice to you. All we need, in the end, is some kindness and understanding.
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Mel99
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Posted: 22 October 2014 - 02:09 PM
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Thank you both for the kind thoughts so much! Just wanted to make a very brief update, will write more later.
The plumber was very kind and respectful. I showed him my leaks and he let me know that what I thought was one leak was actually 3. He fixed those but let me know that the faucets are so old that I'll eventually need to replace them (he said start budgeting). He said the kitchen faucet is old and needs to be replaced because it's leaking underneath which will damage the cabinets. He suggested I buy one and they can install it for me.
So the good news is it went well, the less good news is that I'll have to have them back. Just wanted to let you know. Thanks again for the support!
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Dianne
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Posted: 22 October 2014 - 08:50 AM
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Mel, you've accomplished so much! Most people do tend to kind of blow off their accomplishments and see all that is left to do. And to look at a chunk of free time they've had and wished they had gotten more done. Take a little time to tell yourself how proud you all of all the good work you've done!
I give a big *second* to everything Tat said!
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Tatoulia
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Posted: 22 October 2014 - 06:33 AM
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Thinking about you today, Mel, and wishing you luck. Just stay calm! And take a moment to be proud of your accomplishments! You are doing great work! You might find it calming to do some small work (sorting or shredding papers, working on your "junk drawer", etc) while the plumber is there. I used to work on jigsaw puzzles when I had workers in my place to stay calm.
You've done a lot. And I understand that for hoarders, doing a lot means there's still a lot to do. Sending you strength and peace today. Also, I hope the day with your father went well. You are a good daughter , wonderful friend and valuable person.
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Mel99
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Posted: 22 October 2014 - 12:19 AM
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Hi everyone,
Just a very brief update before bed.
I'm feeling pretty good about the kitchen and utility room. In the morning I want to do a little mopping and I'd like to do a little to tidy up the living room/dining room area since that's what you see when you walk in. The kitchen/utility room aren't REALLY clean but the area where the plumber will need to work and the nearby areas are much cleaner. I'm still anxious but feeling fairly positive about it. Unfortunately, I feel like I'm neglecting everything else, especially the second bedroom which has a LOT of cleaning out that needs to happen. November is just around the corner. So I'm feeling good about what I've finished so far but I have so much more to do. And tomorrow is my last day off work and I feel like I should have gotten more done while I was off work.
Wish me luck tomorrow! Hope everyone has a great Wednesday!
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G
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Posted: 21 October 2014 - 10:58 PM
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Thank you Dianne.....lookin forward to it :)
Hope everyone has had a good day and are making the progress they need.
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Dianne
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Posted: 21 October 2014 - 11:59 AM
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Tat, thank you so much! When I think about my older posts it's embarrassing that I put so much personal stuff online. I really appreciate you saying you took strength from those things. I'm glad your house is clear too (with some issues) and that you think it is still necessary to be here. I feel like that too. I am scared to death of going backwards. Your kind heart is a great inspiration to me! Thank you for being here!
I'm also so very sorry to hear what your mom went thru. When I spent a lot of time with my grandmother while she was alive I noticed a similar thing in older people. I'm guessing that they grew up in a time when feelings weren't given much thought ~ they had to be tough to get thru such tough times. Our generation is much more open and empathetic. She is so blessed to have you!
G, I appreciate the depth and insights and strength in your posts. I'll be here to give support to you and receive support from you. :)
Bitsy, it's so wonderful to read of all your progress. You've had it very hard my friend and are still moving forward.
Mel, thank you for your acknowledgment. It means a lot to know that Tat and I can give you hope. You've made tremendous progress getting ready for the plumber!!! It can be so stressful to have someone in to do work but instead of letting it overwhelm you, you have turned that fear energy into productive energy. WTG! And great job too on digging with your therapist! I totally understand the exhausted and drained feeling that comes with that. Congrats on doing the inner and the outer work! Hope all goes well with your father today.
Everyone, have a day of strength today!
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bitsy
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Posted: 21 October 2014 - 11:58 AM
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...the "funny" thing about the shed is I didn't go look to see how much she took or how much space it made, but I woke up in the middle of the nite thinking and "seeing" a LOT gone but what was left was kind of spread out all over... anyway it wasn't until the next time I woke up that I thought, no, she couldn't have taken that much because she just had the Explorer and couldn't have fit a dresser and large curio cabinet in there. So I realized I had been dreaming. Dreaming won't do it.
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Dave
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Posted: 21 October 2014 - 10:02 AM
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bitsy, Yes! Yes! Yes! Exciting to hear about the movement from the shed!!!
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G
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Posted: 21 October 2014 - 12:31 AM
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Thanks Mel! They sure do pile up and while I rarely let anything else priorize over them, have had to this last month. They are done up and plan on keeping it that way again....so yayyy me!!!
You know as I was making dinner, I could not help thinking about diane's post and the different things said in it about what someone has done or said in chat. I have had the misfortune of being present when the things had gotten nasty about a month ago, which by the way I felt ganged up upon. That is besides the point and also not anything I came here to complain about, as I already knew there was nice people here. Again...chalked up what had happened to a likely misunderstanding.
When I read what has been written by diane earlier down, it refers to "one" person who spoke during her turn and for the whole time and all about themselves(I was there and was not my impression--someone said something not knowing they were not to speak and then they were yelled at to shut up which is NOT notmal chat format), then there is reference to someone walking their dog(I guess the same person although cannot remember who as there was not anything obvious going on in chat that seemed off until the SHUT UP), with her post ending in last buy not least someone telling her it was big of her to apologize in here(yep that was me and I genuinely thought so)....although none of these people are the same and in fact my telling her it was big of her was a supportive comment NOT a put down from someone being controlling or mean. I can say that with 100% confidence, as is was me.
I give up. Have put time and effort out to be polite and decent despite how I have been treated here around whatever misconceptions there have been. I do not know about anyone else, although after the month I have been through and what is on my plate....I am done being extra sweet to someone else who has issues as though I am that big of a person because right now I realize that my feelings matter.
I deserve support too and I last but not least am not standing for someone taking something nice and kind that was done and contorting it into some twisted attack against them.
Give me a break and try being nice and supportive to others instead of as though the world is against you and everyone else is so mean and awful. Not a very mature way to get attention or play with people and relationships.
How would you have liked it if when you were new that someone was that way and then to top it off instead of being helpful and kind, posted about trying to alienate new people like they are lesser and not as deserving?!?!?!
I am sorry, although if that is what you truly believe and how you think....I have no idea why you are here and what your issues are and while I was interested in getting to know you and be your friend along with everyone else----realized tonight that other people here matter too diane and one of them is ME!
Good luck with whatever you choose, although there is not a group of bad mean people here the two times I have been in chat and then seen things posted here. Your versions of what has happened are not exactly precise and the only constant is that people are mean to you, even when ``you`were the on to have flipped out on them!
Yes, this is a support site and not only is being kind and supportive part of it, although so is being real and honest about what is and is not....so there ya go any and everyone who was or has not been in chat.
Diane I wish you the best and while this was not directed specifically at you, rather a response to your behavior which I cannot even being to put into worde how inappropriate it has been. Not last night, although todays post wow! That on top of a month ago and you lost me feeling bad for you sadly.
Maybe this site needs a moderator and Cory can go check the logs from the last incident and the one a month ago, as then the record could be set straight and enough for the games. It has wasted too many people's time and energy and has started up again. I am not here for that...this is not my website, I am not a therapist and no one I have talked to seems to be here for spending their time dealing with supporting and stressing out in chat anbout things that just are not how they get posted on the boards.
I plan to stay here and work here with those who want to, although am done with this. As you can tell, I am not good when I see incorrect things said or implied about others or myself and will speak up. Hopefully we are all on the same page and will only come here to support each other in a kind way and leave the drama and grade school antics at the door.
Am not usually so blunt and direct, which usually takes alot...and the alot has been reached.
If I am now considered a bad guy or trouble maker for being honest about what has been going on then for those of you who think that, that is ok. For those who want to be my friend and support me while I support you being real and all.....lets do it. That includes you as well diane, although my tolerance for stories is low....especially when they are being told or impied about others in a negative way different than what actually happened resulting in gained sympathy for kindling to start a fire or having made one in the first place.
Peace....
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Tatoulia
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Posted: 20 October 2014 - 10:46 PM
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Bitsy--nice to hear from you and I'm glad you had a nice visit with your granddaughter. I was thinking of you today and hoping that you and your son are well.
Mel, GREAT WORK! congratulations. I bet you made more progress than you thought you would! Great job. I hope all goes well with your father tomorrow. Don't worry about the house tomorrow. Just spend time with your dad and know that you are a good daughter.
Much love to everyone and thank you for your kind words.
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Mel99
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Posted: 20 October 2014 - 10:37 PM
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Good evening all.
I'm rarely around on Sundays when the chat is scheduled so I haven't participated in a chat and I don't really know how it works. Diane, I'm so sorry the chat went so poorly. It's awful that you felt picked on and attacked and I really hope it was a misunderstanding. I've only been on the boards and I've found everyone so kind and wonderful and supportive.
Dianne, as someone who is still, as you say, in the thick of it (but feeling like maybe there's an end in sight!), I want you to know that I appreciate seeing posts from you and Tatoulia that talk about where you are now. It gives me hope for the future. I'm hopeful that I'll get to a point in the not too distant future where I can be focused on the (relatively) smaller things instead of the huge cleanouts.
Tatoulia, I'm so sad that people were so mean to your mom, especially someone who is supposed to be a friend! When I was a picked on kid, I noticed that some people seemed to pick on me to try to improve their own social status. Do elderly folks do this too? It's just awful.
Hi G, congrats on getting dishes put away! Sorry for your pain, and I hope you'll be feeling better.
I had a busy day today. I took Mon - Weds off work this week with the intention of getting some things done (tomorrow I'm taking my dad to the specialist, which will end up being most of the day). I got a lot done in the kitchen and utility rooms today. My garbage can is almost completely full and the area in front of the place where the plumber can access the pipe is totally clear. I even mopped the floor (though to be honest I think it could use another going over). I also scrubbed the kitchen sink (they're also going to fix my leaky faucet) and threw away old, stained and gross rugs that were on the floor. I still need to wipe down the cabinets and find space for a few items that are sitting out (and mop the kitchen floor too) but overall I'm very pleased with my progress in the kitchen and utility rooms. I even cleaned out some sections that won't be visible to the plumber (but that I want to get cleaned out before my boyfriend moves in).
I had a really good conversation with my therapist this afternoon and we really dug deep. I'm feeling exhausted and drained and I'm getting ready to go to sleep early here.
I hope we all have good, restorative sleep tonight and tomorrow is a good day!
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bitsy
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Posted: 20 October 2014 - 10:08 PM
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I hardly know what to say. So much is going on here. I am having trouble concentrating and sleeping. Today when my grand-daughter was over she got some of her stuff out of our shed. I was especially glad she took her handmade pottery before it got broken. She also took two small bags of books and a bunch of child sized hangers that I was going to take to Goodwill.
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Tatoulia
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Posted: 20 October 2014 - 08:05 PM
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Today is a new day and I am grateful for every one of you. Diane, thank you for your sweet post. Of course mom and I would love to have you 'pop over ' for lobster anytime! We will have your lobster bib waiting! And of course we always play the game to see who forgets to take the bib off when we leave the restaurant! Sometimes it's both of us and we laugh all the way home!
Dianne, I hope you know that I appreciate your posts and progress. I have read your old posts and took great strength from your struggles. My heart still breaks when I think about you on the corner of your bed. I am now living in a clear house with some issues here and there, (closet, storage space) and I think it is absolutely necessary to be here. I hope you'll feel like you can stay here. You are important to me.
G, those dishes do pile up. I've been good about clearing the dishwasher as soon as it's clean. I know that not everyone has a dishwasher but 1) putting clean dishes away and 2) putting clean clothes away have helped me with the clutter.
Everyone, I send hugs your way. Mel, I hope you are finding time to breathe, drink water, eat well and sleep. You are doing great work. We all are doing great work.
Thank you all for indulging my mom story and for being supportive and loving. It can feel very lonely sometimes. As a hoarder, as a daughter, as a human being. Let us chase away the loneliness together.
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Dianne
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Posted: 20 October 2014 - 07:31 PM
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Ah, there are still issues.......
The problems have driven me away twice. Although I don't chat I have felt the not so good vibes towards me on the message boards. And maybe that's just my impression but it doesn't feel good, so Diane I know what you mean.
I have wondered if it was me, if I was self-centered or pompous or ignorantly not getting someone else's point of view. When it would get to where I was spending too much time thinking about it during the day and before falling asleep I figured it's not worth putting myself out there.
And honestly, I also felt that after the big clean-out maybe this wasn't the place for me ~ like it was only for those still in the thick of things. Not that I'm *cured* but my house is in pretty good shape. Mentally and emotionally, that's another story.
I became a member of another hoarder site but my heart is here. After almost 2 years (in January) this group has always been small enough to know each other pretty well. I told myself I wasn't going to ever get personally involved with problems here again but here I am. Diane, I really do hope things get better for you.
The past few days I had decided to just post on the Gratitude thread. Can't run into too much hurt there can we?
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G
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Posted: 20 October 2014 - 07:15 PM
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There are places online where private chat rooms can be set up, which I had suggested before if this one is not working or a more intimate private setting is needed. Google is great, although all of this is what we make it. How we are as a group is how we choose..... Hoping for a focussed support network where we are all treating each other with respect adn providing support.
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G
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Posted: 20 October 2014 - 06:46 PM
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Sticking to the topic, am putting away some dishes that have been done up yesterday after being neglected while working on project. Attending to some emails and keeping it small for now, as am having alot of pain and just not feeling too well in general.
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G
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Posted: 20 October 2014 - 06:44 PM
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Hi Everyone,
I am back having had to be away working on a project that required alot of concentration and focus, although just recently came back. Am looking forward to giving and getting support as is intented and why this website has been set up.
Tat: Sorry to hear someone was mean to your Mom. I as well do not like mean people...in fact do not know anyone who does. Hope she is feeling better and gets her spirits up soon.
Diane: I was in chat last night and saw what was said. As well agree wtih LR and had started typing to it as well about not being a supportive thing to say on a support website. Believe the person who had said it understood that and while it should not have been typed, I guess they had not meant to. Maybe you two can talk about it sometime in chat to get the air cleared? Sometimes it is all in how we take things as well. In all fairness, the understanding was that you have some issues that made it so you lost self control and blew up at/on others(setting your needs and the needs of how others are with you as different). Sounds like some resentment, although maybe everyone can just let things go and start fresh!
I am the one who a month or so ago had said it was very big of you to apologize for blowing up in chat. Still think it was, while at the same time an understanding was made clear that when you talk no one but Tillie is to speak and the reaction towards someone accidentally speaking who did not know was not approriate. Maybe that has changed? Respect and support are key here for and towards all of us...new or old. At the same time water under the bridge and a past thing(There is a whole thread of that on the boards here about what had happened and being eventually chaulked up to a misunderstanding). Always there will be new people who may or may not know this information and people as well are human, so while even on Sunday when I had said to Katy that only Tillie is supposed to speak when you are talking.....which made me feel like a bad guy as she did NOT know and I just was trying to prevent another incident(although Katy did not do anything wrong either...shortly after she left as that was not clear enough for her either and she "may" have felt picked on by being told speaking was not allowed during your time). :(
Last I had heard you were not coming to chat again, although it was nice to see you there and even suggesting I take part of my turn that I had given away as I felt someone else needed it more. That was very supportive...thank you.
I am here to support you and everyone else, as well as look forward to receiving support in return. I do not know what the solution/answer is to what seems to be going on, although do not see alientating newer folks as it. We want to support each other, not seperate.
I am sorry you were hurt last night...kept seeing you coming into chat to take your turn after, although then did not seem to be there when it was time for another next turn.
This website is set up for a group, not each of us as an individual. At the same time, I do believe that everyone here has the same goals and sure hope there is not a "mean girl" group.
Let's keep going and doing our best, as that is all any and all of us can ever do.
P.S.- I do not know who went to walk their dog or a number of other things referred to below, although am thinking things are getting mixed together with being upset....as all I know is that I was the one who said it was big of you to have apologized. Not everyone can be so mature about taking that responsability, which speaks for itself. You are a BIG person diane. Many people here love you and there can always be an element of misunderstanding, so let's just keep going and support each other to better lives!!!
Bringing up the past seems to have lost its value and this website in all areas should be welcoming to new people as well as those of you who have been around longer. We are grown adults working together despite conflicts that sem to be triggering grade school mentality of pitting some against others...no offence. I do not feel that was a very nice thing to suggest alientation towards newer people, nor that the owner would support it. Please can we all just be kind and support each other without being mean...
I being still new am quite overwhelemd with these conflicts and while I have been dealing with some heavy duty things since joining all on my own(would rather have support and my time here about moving forward on my journey as well), am hoping to have a community of support here for me as well. I do not really know anyone here well and am trying to not let these issues get in the way or affect how I am interacting with or see others here hoping they are not actual representations :(
Deep breaths with the letting go and moving forward....
Peace....
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