Dianne, thank you for saying such lovely things about me. I take them to heart and can only pray that you say as many nice things about yourself. Tillie, I thank you for your encouragement. Easily got another bag of things together today--cardigans that have seen a better day. welcome Jessica--glad to see you posting!!!

I would buy multiples of things on sale--not paper towels or other stuff that will be used--but Christmas stuff or Easter stuff or books or pots or this thing or that thing. This way, I could have at least one for me and be the hero and give away to someone. BTW Dianne, you have a fantastic memory. I say to myself all the time, like a mantra, I am not a warehouse. It feels great. And I note that my need to rescue the world is spilling over to other areas of my life. Before, if I saw someone who was getting directions, I would step in and add my two cents. If I saw someone who needed directions and I didn't know where it was, I would find someone to tell them. How obnoxious. If they already have someone helping them, who elected me mayor to step in and contribute? And isn't it okay to say "I don't know" once in a while? I still need to rescue people and help out and my generous spirit is intact, I just no longer have this crazy notion that the world is looking to me to have an extra Phillips head screwdriver on hand.

Tonight I am switching out purses to the new one that Santa (aka my sweetheart) brought me and I'm swapping out wallet too. Old wallet can be thrown out; old purse will be emptied completely, put in a fabric bag, and placed on shelf in bedroom. Old purse was a gift ftom BF probably 8 years ago and I've used it on and off for 8 years. I never fail to get a compliment on it.

Missing you all and sending you my love. Don't sell yourself short, Jessica. We need you here!

Dianne - Thanks for the kind and understanding encouragement ! I know there are millions(?) of "us" in varying degrees of "mess and distress". Yet, I feel quite isolated. Again - I am mystified at my OWN habits and behavior. Sharing IS progress.

I've only recently started "eavesdropping" on these chats. It has been comforting. Fear/Anxiety have stopped me from contributing ... much the way they've stopped me from actually making progress with my own SERIOUS situation. I don't understand why. You all seem relatively evolved in your progress. I feel like I'm trying to bail out a ship that sank a long time ago (Titanic !)

Mr. Hoarder, the hoarder I live with, justifies acquiring and keeping a LOT of stuff by saying
"maybe somebody will need this someday and I will have it and can give it to them".

Whenever he has tried to give something to someone they don't want or need it.

I think the "keeping it for others" is just an excuse for keeping it all for himself.

Bag of jammies already in the car, destined for Goodwill! Washed them so they are fresh.

I learned, over the summer, that I keep and buy stuff in case someone needs it and I must tell you I am forever cured of that. I will work on clothes with everyone's tips in mind. Tillie, it's funny that you mentioned empty spaces because now I like having shelf room and empty spots. It makes my home feel less crowded. I will work on closet including making decisions on next level of shoes and purses.

You know, I found the first level of dehoarding hard, and saved stuff so I could decide on second level, yet I'm not afraid and not anxious. I feel good and strong. Thanks to everyone here.

Congratulations on your new place LR! I don't know how u did it but way to go. your my hero.

Dianne, I think I confused you and Mel last night. Sorry, luckily you are both fantastic people giving fantastic advice so sure no one is insulted! Whenever I mistakenly call someone by my sweetheart's name, I always say, there is no bigger compliment! I value you both so much.

WTG! LR2014 :D

Wishing you a wonderful new beginning full of peace and joy.

(((hugs)))

LR, I am so proud of you! Congratulations! Wow you really got that done! So happy!!

I wish to announce that on Sunday afternoon, I officially turned in the keys to my ever-flooding, often extremely noisy apartment. Most of my "stuff" for now is in a 10x10 storage place, and I am temporarily staying in a nice little home with some old friends for a couple of months. (They have a very nice, neat, clean home and they are wonderful friends and wonderful to live with.) I have my own comfy bed to sleep on in a comfy guest bedroom. The new place is about an hour's drive from my old place. More later. Whoo-hoo!

Hugs to all. Couldn't have done it without ya.

Hello everyone! Nice to see you Bitsy. I hope you are surviving the winter okay. This time of year I think of my mother, who when we were children, would privately pray for February 1st, because she knew it would be light out til five. I find I do the same now.

Mel, thank you for your sweet post. I wear a lot of dresses and suits, even though my office is "business casual," which unfortunately must people take as casual. I dress up must days and feel good about it. I rarely participate in our jeans Fridays, but every so often I surprise them all. I work from home a day or two a week, which is nice. I don't have a ton if clothes but I know if I were realistic, I'd be able to get rid of more things that I don't wear. Some of my issues concern weight gain. I tend to buy a few good pieces of clothing and then when I can't fit into them, I'm not ready to say goodbye. So I think I could get rid of stuff if I followed the tips and really figured out what is realistic and what isn't.

One area, believe it or not, where I have an abundance of clothes is in the PJ, nightgown, slipper, bathrobe area. I try to stay out of those areas of stores but even last night I bought more PJs at Lord and Taylor. But I promised I'd get rid of some and I am getting a bag together.

I'm general, I just feel like I have too much stuff, so I appreciate all the tips on where to start. I will start on clothes closet. Might as well. Much easier for me to pare down on clothes than other things.

Tillie, always great to read about your day. My cat eats my sheer curtains.

Hi :)

Spent the day being sorta lazy. :)
Tidied up my linens while I put away the freshly washed ones.
Put down some fresh scented drawer paper in a couple of drawers.
Sorted out my socks and tossed the ones developing holes.
Went through my sheer lacy window curtains and decided to toss a few that had seen better days.
Cats are very hard on them.
Watched a few documentaries on Netflix as I puttered around.
Made a toasted cheese sandwich. :D
Talked to, played with and helped the cats with their cat problems.
It has been a good day and now there is a beautiful winter sunset. :D

If that "spam" post is bothering people we can ask for it to be removed.
I plan to just ignore it and keep posting as if it weren't there.
They probably won't return.

WAY TO GO MEL! should somebody email Cory?

Will doctor "o" come to our houses and send us on an all expenses paid vacation while he cleans our houses and pays our bills? If not, not interested. ;)

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Very good suggestion, Tillie! I did exactly this with kitchen cabinets over the summer but hadn't considered for bedroom. I have a very good dresser and my entire closet was designed by California Closets so it's very roomy, including multiple shelves, six dresser drawers, different places to hang clothes.

Maybe start easy with the six closet drawers. They are small and not used as well as they could be. Two alone hold nylons and tights. I think I could keep one drawer for nylons/tights and maybe move all the pjs and nightgowns into some of the others.

This sounds so simple but honestly I didn't see it.

THANK YOU!

it's so nice to have you back. Giant hugs.

HI :)
So nice to catch up with you all. ;)

Over did it today. But really, something's were getting on my nerves and I just had to deal with them.

Tatoulia, so you want to get to the next level,
that's fantastic. :D

Emptying a whole room is an awful lot to do at one time and I worry you may become overwhelmed, paralyzed and burned out.

How to get organized...
Think about one do-able area, like a dresser.
Think how you want to use the drawer space. What items do you want in the different drawers.
Now, dump out one drawer.
Only place back what you decided that drawer will be used for.
Sort through the other stuff and place it aside near where you think it will go permanently.
Once the first drawer is done you can now dump the second drawer.
Repeat the sorting out.
Now, there will be things in other locations that you decide belong in the drawers but they are locate elsewhere in the home.
Later, at another time, you can gather them up and put them into their assigned drawer.

If there is too much of any one kind of any items...
Choose to keep only the best most loved and used items and let the others go live elsewhere.
Use this same method throughout the house with closets, cupboards, shelves etc...
Tackle only one small section at a time removing items and refilling the areas with only what goes there.

Layout of my two dressers...
Dresser #1
Top drawer- blouses
middle drawer- dresses
bottom drawer- flannel night gowns
Dresser #2
Top drawer- undies
middle drawer- slips & such
bottom drawer- summer night gowns

I don't have a closet space for hanging clothes & that's why I keep them all in the dressers. :)

My chest of drawers contains
Kitchen linens, dish cloths & towels
socks & pull over tops
skirts
robes
table cloths & doilies

I have the items all put where it is easiest for me to get to them and use them and put them away afterward.
If it is too difficult to get to things and put them away afterward then they tend to pile up and become clutter.

Hello everyone! Tillie I started a post this AM but then my lunch dates (friend and her toddler son) were outside and ready for lunch. I did nothing yesterday--lived like a cat--slept til nearly noon (when did I become this person) and after tea and toast I went back to bed. Snoozed, watched movies in Netflix, etc. finally got up yet didn't shower and get out if the house til 8:30 PM. Went over to mom's and was with her as football game finished up. I changed her sheets got her and picked up a little here and there.

Bitsy, thank you for your kind words. I appreciate your support and wisdom while trying to help mom. I think you'll be eased to know that she and her social workers got the organizers in their own and they did not tell me. Her apt is so pretty and I took some more donations out last night. Mom sleeps rarely so I stayed til about 11 PM, when the BF stopped by to get me.

Celeste, good to see you posting. I'm generally reading and posting from iPhone and couldn't read the lighter green print. I hope all is well with you.

Nice newsy post, Mel. My goodness a lot of change for you. You are doing great. Dianne, I didn't post all weekend because I didn't do anything around the house.... Til today! I shredded a bag of my brother's papers which I had planned to do but hadn't. I also shredded a bunch of my own and swept up living room and vacuumed living room and den.

Tillie, I am so sorry you've been sick. I've been pretty healthy this year but after dr's appt last week I am on new meds and I dizzy. And having trouble adjusting. Right now I just feel weird and I think I'd prefer the dizziness. I think this will all pass very soon.

Today was holiday at work so nice to have a 3-day weekend. And I am pleased with working on house. I have much less stuff, but I let stuff pile up on the floor and it drives me nuts. I have to still reduce and need help figuring out what else to get rid of. I never followed through with idea of removing everything from bedroom and deciding what goes back. I need to do this. I need to further reduce. I'm good about not getting new stuff, and I go have empty shelf and closet space, but I know I need to do more. Will take all suggestions and hints and ideas. I want to go to next level.

Missing you all.

Good morning

Looks like the Zombie Apocalypse must have happened while I was away. :(

None of my weekend plans got done. Been too sick to get out of bed.
Much better today so I now need to work on cleaning myself up and clean up all the dishes & laundry I have left scattered all around.

Checked into Sunday night online support group last evening and it was the same thing....
nothing but a few lonely tumbleweeds blowing down the lane. :(

Hello all, hope everyone is doing well and having a productive weekend!

LR, hope the move went/is going smoothly! Congratulations!!

Tillie, good for you working on will and advanced directives! We went through the process last year of doing all the paperwork with my folks, including setting up a trust. It was a lot of work (and since they set up a trust, it was pretty expensive) but I feel good knowing that they have all the appropriate paperwork completed, that everything has been decided and written down, and if something were to happen, we don't have to worry about it. Also, happy belated birthday!

Diane, great idea to plus the computer into the tv! I'm running on an old laptop myself and last year I spilled water on it. The keyboard doesn't work properly anymore so I decided rather than trying to figure out if I could afford to buy a new laptop, I would just get an external keyboard. It's a little frustrating at times but way cheaper than a new computer!

Dianne, really nice thoughts on life lessons. When I was young, I was picked on, teased, and bullied for many years. I think about that kind of thing a lot. I might post about that separately because my posts are always so enormous even without that :) But I will share my thoughts.

Tatoulia, congratulations about your mom! And good job working on all that shredding!

Celeste, good luck with the folding! Are your kids old enough to help out?

I haven't had time to post recently, tho I have been reading peoples' posts. On the fun side, it was my birthday week this week and I've had lots of fun celebrating. On the not-fun side, there were a series of layoffs at my workplace, and my boss, who was very high up in the company and had been there for 20 years, got fired unexpectedly. We have a newish CEO (been there for a little over a year) and he's been cleaning house since he got here, but since she had made it so long we thought she might be OK. I already had a good working relationship with the person I am now reporting to. He "inherited" several people from the department i've been associated with, and he told me that the person he was most excited to work with was me, so at least I feel like that's a positive thing. Still, it's a huge change, plus I had been working with my boss for 7 years and we had a really good relationship, so I was very sad for her as well.

My boyfriend is taking a couple more classes (he's done with his "core" classes but has a couple of electives to finish up before he graduates in June) so we haven't been doing a lot of cleaning. I've been doing my best to keep up with my stuff, and he shredded three full banker boxes worth of stuff in the past week. Since he's the one who usually gets the cleaning moving, we haven't made a ton of progress in the past couple weeks. However, he did previously finish cleaning out the second bedroom, which was amazing. I can't remember when the room was so clean. He even organized a ton of my CDs into alphabetized stacks. I had major anxiety when he threw out the stuff he had shredded - I didn't think he mixed it up enough, he didn't add yucky fluids to the bags, etc. I know I'm probably being way overly paranoid about it but I've known people who had nightmares with identity theft and it just scares me. I've worked really really hard to build up my credit, and it's not perfect, but it's not bad.

I'm sort of getting adjusted to living with the kitties. The boy kitty does not like me at all, but only shows his displeasure with me if my boyfriend is not around, hissing at me, swatting at me as I walk by, etc. I've tried feeding him, giving him treats, petting him, playing with him - nothing works. The mama kitty is sweet to me and I like her. Unfortunately the kitties aren't keeping the mice out. Or maybe (hopefully) it's just one. We have a "bread drawer" in the kitchen where we store all our bread products. Last week I bought my favorite bread and a few days later I discovered it had been chewed on. I moved all the other bread out of the drawer and put a small trap in there. So far no luck. I don't really have a lot of options. I can't put poison out at all with the cats around (plus I wouldn't want to put poison so close to our food), and I have a trap in the drawer but it's not catching anything. Do I get more traps? Even those I'd have to keep in the drawers since I don't want to hurt the kitties. Thankfully the bread appears to be the only thing being eaten. It even left alone a bag of candies and a different bag of bread.

Today I am planning a trip to the library, possibly taking a friend out to eat, and spending some nice quality time with my boyfriend. Tomorrow his parents are taking us and my parents to breakfast. It will be the first time our parents will meet, so it's a little exciting and scary. My sister dislikes my boyfriend so I'm a little worried my mom will say something about that (I love her but she often puts her foot in her mouth when she's nervous about meeting new people). My dad has parkinson's and alzheimers, so if he's having a bad day tomorrow they're going to stay home. I would like them to meet so I'm hoping he'll be doing ok.

Sorry for always babbling on and on. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Dianne,
" there comes a time to let go and accept the help that's offered to us. Easier said or written than done. I really, really need to do more work on myself." thanks for putting it into words

Tat,
kudos to your Mom, social worker, and organizers. and you. your Mom deserves some happiness. thank you for giving her love and understanding.

WTG! Tatoulia :D

Hoarders episodes can be very motivating.
I like to put then on the big TV when my hoarder is home and it keeps him from stagnating.
He will go outside just to get away from them. HAHAHA :D

HI LR2014 :)
WAY TO GO!!!! for all the hard work you have done.
You continue to be an inspiration to us all. :)

Hi Diane :)
What I was trying to say is that I have come to accept how my life has changed.
WTG! figuring out how to use the TV as your computer monitor! :D
Hoping you have been having a GREAT time with your loaner dog. :D

Dianne,
many decisions/choices we make in our lives were made using the information/knowledge/facts that were available to us at the time we needed to decide/take action.
Later, other factors may have come into play making our decisions of the past the wrong way to have gone.
But at the time, we made the right/best decisions/plans given what we knew then.
Hind sight is always 20/20 but that is no reason to beat ourselves up since we are not fortune tellers or have crystal balls.
JMHO, life is like a roll of the dice, we place our bets and accept the outcome.
But we are allowed to roll the dice again to try to improve the situation.
Even if that just means we need to make a heartfelt apology.

C'est la vie

:)

Woo hoo is right! I will watch tonight as I shred my papers. Making some decent progress on the trunk of my car, Tillie!

Tillie, thank you for your thoughtful post. It sounds like you are taking stock of your life so far and taking a look at your future. When I turned 50, I had a bit of a crisis, realizing that I've devoted my life to taking care of others and trying to fill their needs. That was very sad to me, but I put the energy into purging my hoard--I was keeping so many things for just in case and buying duplicates in the event some one else needed them. I felt I was reclaiming my life by deciding that I will not be a store or a warehouse for some upcoming need for someone. And that's when I found you. I think that it's tough to face the facts of our own mortality and as hard as it can be, it's good that you are mapping out a course for yourself. It feels sad and good, all at the same time.

Diane, good for you figuring out the TV/monitor situation. LR, you are doing it! Sending you hugs and strength! Dianne, thank you for sharing so much of yourself. I take great strength from everyone here. Thank you.

Hi, everybody. Here's a quick checkin. I've been packing boxes, labeling boxes, (donating and tossing . . . but not in mass quantities), packing boxes, labeling boxes, etc. Trying to get moved out of my place this week (hopefully by the end of the day tomorrow, if not before). Most things are going to storage and are fitting into a 10x10 space. I myself am going to be staying with some friends for a while. Bye, bye, excess flooding and crazy-level noise! Whoo-hoo!!! (I'm happy.)

Thanks for your help and encouragement through this process! Hugs to everybody.

Good morning
Tillie, I am not sure how to interpret what you are saying. Are you saying your life is about to change? I wish you the best for your happiness, as always.
I finally broke my computer screen trying to make it work, had to push on upper left corner, harder and harder to make it work. I was ready to go buy a new one, when I thought, might as well see if I could plug into tv. Well computer screen was the problem, now can use computer on tv, just not screen attached to puter. It is so much faster to use now that I don't have to twist screen after every word.
I feel like now that puter works, I can rejoin this group and start making my living situation better, without group, seem to let clutter take over. Thank goodness that I had inspiration to try using tv screen for puter. I will soon feel part of this group again, hooray. Now I will read all of your posts and catch up, so happy to have you back in my life.

Good Morning :)

Been evaluating my life...
There are no regrets for the things that I have done or chosen not to do.
I am only human and as such the mistakes I have made were to be expected.
Many disappointments as to what some others have done deliberately concerning me.
But through this I have learned so very much about the differences of various types of humans.
There have also been many people who have touched my life in wonderful positive ways.
I will keep my focus on my memories of them.

Time.
None of us know how much time we have here.
I will evaluate my future plans and declutter those plans/things that do not bring me satisfaction, peace, joy.

What possessions will I be leaving behind?
People tend to save the good stuff for some later date, just in case they will regret having used and enjoyed it and no longer have it later.
I say enjoy it today because tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Eat from the good china, use the good silverware, drink from the crystal goblet, wear the nice clothes.
Should these things break or start to show wear, remember the joy you had using them.

Daily,
look around you
find the beauty
listen to the music
dance
sing

I am going to make up my will and advance directives.
It would be unfair to not have my wishes written down, leaving people to guess as to what I would have wanted.
Been there, done that. It's emotionally quite difficult.


TTYL :)