Skip to main content
Hoarding Help
Hoarding Cleanup, Help for Hoarders, Nationwide Hoarding HelpHoarding Clean up National ResourcesAbout Hoarding Cleanup, Clutter CleanupHoarding Cleanup, Clutter Cleanup, Hoarding Cleanup, Help for HoardersSupport GroupMessage BoardFor FamiliesHelp For HoardersHoarding Help for Hoarders, Resources, Hoarding Cleanup, Clutter Clean up

Hoarding Cleanup Service 
Steri-Clean Locations 

Questions...Answers...Support. Together we CAN beat this!
Brought to you by:

(800) 462-7337
8:00 AM to 5:00 PM Every Day!

Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : What are you doing today
Reply to this topic
What are you doing today

Posted: 22 January 2015 - 08:45 PM
Ahh no Tat. I find it extremely hard to say nice things about myself. So much easier to see the good in others! But I'm trying to learn to say, hey Dianne, great job. So keep your prayers coming they are always very much appreciated here!!

Your story of stepping in to give directions is mine too! I've even gone so far as to say, "I don't pay attention to road names (being rural) only landmarks so follow me and I'll get you there." I rescue animals, people, books, old beloved toys, things that others have kept as treasures in their memories.

I'm quite sure it's because I have always felt the very desperate need to be rescued myself. I know the horrible fear of feeling totally incapable of taking care of myself in abandonment. My lack of healthy boundaries makes me project my fears/needs onto another (whether they feel it or not) and I feel I must spare them those awful feelings.

It takes many mistakes and some time to accept we are not the world's saviors. :)

Great job on the purse and wallet switch-out! I am a bag lady and appreciate a beautifully organized handbag. :D
Posted: 22 January 2015 - 08:24 PM
Jessica, as hoarders we isolate ourselves. And that can feel good. It feels safe. It can also feel lonely and odd. Sharing is HUGE progress!! I can't tell you how much I've learned about myself by posting here. There are times I've felt utterly stupid and weird. I ramble and I get overinvolved and I learn. I also get to understand others' reasoning and behaviors. Sometimes I get hurt and pull back into my turtle shell. And then I come out again and keep that turtle crawl going. What an amazing journey!!

So happy to have you on it as well! :)
Posted: 22 January 2015 - 07:54 PM
Dianne, thank you for saying such lovely things about me. I take them to heart and can only pray that you say as many nice things about yourself. Tillie, I thank you for your encouragement. Easily got another bag of things together today--cardigans that have seen a better day. welcome Jessica--glad to see you posting!!!

I would buy multiples of things on sale--not paper towels or other stuff that will be used--but Christmas stuff or Easter stuff or books or pots or this thing or that thing. This way, I could have at least one for me and be the hero and give away to someone. BTW Dianne, you have a fantastic memory. I say to myself all the time, like a mantra, I am not a warehouse. It feels great. And I note that my need to rescue the world is spilling over to other areas of my life. Before, if I saw someone who was getting directions, I would step in and add my two cents. If I saw someone who needed directions and I didn't know where it was, I would find someone to tell them. How obnoxious. If they already have someone helping them, who elected me mayor to step in and contribute? And isn't it okay to say "I don't know" once in a while? I still need to rescue people and help out and my generous spirit is intact, I just no longer have this crazy notion that the world is looking to me to have an extra Phillips head screwdriver on hand.

Tonight I am switching out purses to the new one that Santa (aka my sweetheart) brought me and I'm swapping out wallet too. Old wallet can be thrown out; old purse will be emptied completely, put in a fabric bag, and placed on shelf in bedroom. Old purse was a gift ftom BF probably 8 years ago and I've used it on and off for 8 years. I never fail to get a compliment on it.

Missing you all and sending you my love. Don't sell yourself short, Jessica. We need you here!
Jessica K.
Posted: 22 January 2015 - 03:33 PM
Dianne - Thanks for the kind and understanding encouragement ! I know there are millions(?) of "us" in varying degrees of "mess and distress". Yet, I feel quite isolated. Again - I am mystified at my OWN habits and behavior. Sharing IS progress.
Posted: 22 January 2015 - 12:38 PM
Tillie, I absolutely agree with your assessment of your hoarder. I used the same justifications for my things.

When I offered some stuff that would be politely rejected it brought up uncomfortable feelings. I felt personally rejected (over connection with my stuff) and miffed that they didn't appreciate my *generosity*. It kind of furthered my thinking that perhaps I should just keep all these wonderful things for myself since no one else appreciates them anyway.

Whenever I look at extras now I think Tat's thought ~ my home is not a warehouse. If someone by some odd chance would ask me if I have a whatever that they could borrow or have I can say not any more.
Posted: 22 January 2015 - 12:25 PM
Hi Jessica, welcome!

Believe me there is still plenty of fear and anxiety here. I struggle with that daily. No matter what stage of hoarding you find yourself there are always valuable contributions to a post. Perhaps you say something as a beginner in this process that awakens something in another reader not posting and they feel understood.

Or one of us has been backsliding and your post will have some inspiration to get us back on track.

Our ships aren't always floating as well as it might look. We'll help you pull up your Titanic while you help us bail the continuing leaks in ours. :)

Jessica K.
Posted: 22 January 2015 - 12:08 PM
I've only recently started "eavesdropping" on these chats. It has been comforting. Fear/Anxiety have stopped me from contributing ... much the way they've stopped me from actually making progress with my own SERIOUS situation. I don't understand why. You all seem relatively evolved in your progress. I feel like I'm trying to bail out a ship that sank a long time ago (Titanic !)
Posted: 22 January 2015 - 11:21 AM
Mr. Hoarder, the hoarder I live with, justifies acquiring and keeping a LOT of stuff by saying
"maybe somebody will need this someday and I will have it and can give it to them".

Whenever he has tried to give something to someone they don't want or need it.

I think the "keeping it for others" is just an excuse for keeping it all for himself.
Posted: 22 January 2015 - 09:54 AM
Tat, you said something that was an eye opener for me, just the way you worded it ~ I am not a warehouse to store things for others. Really gave me a new perspective as I had stored huge amounts of stuff for my married daughter because she likes to keep her home with only what they use/need. She has no problem at all culling and donating. Little by little I am taking things that belong to her to her home and say I'm clearing some things and wanted you to make the decisions on these. I never ask what happens after that, it's hers.

Level work is the best if there are no time constraints or other pressing issues. For those without severe hoarding issues (like actually saving trash or rotting food not just avoiding it) the first level allows us to clear things that don't need a lot of decision making. It can still be very hard but it probably doesn't involve the agonizing that comes with the later levels. But by the time we get to the later levels, as you said Tat, you feel good and strong. You've seen that you can make excellent decisions, the anxiety does lessen and as your home opens up you can appreciate what you accomplished and feel very successful. Those feelings can crush the need to hoard!

Level work does involve some redundancy in handling items more than once. But for a hoarder, trying to make decisions on one item at a time can be destructively overwhelming as we can see on any Hoarder show. Overall, when someone is dehoarding on his/her own and can make use of support like we have here, I think level clearing is an excellent choice.

Empty space can feel freeing and give clarity especially to one who has been literally surrounded by stuff. Depending on the size of the dwelling it can also feel frighteningly open, untethered and cold. For a hoarder to find a good balance in their comfort level probably involves more head work than just *getting rid of*.

When I first had my upper front hallway completely cleared I was a bit afraid I would fall over the railing into the foyer although there was a ridiculous amount of space and had no need to be even near the railing. Having it hoarded made it much more likely I would trip and fall. My backwards thinking made no rational sense but I felt *safer* with some furniture there and added a few pieces. Above one fireplace I had a large painting and on the mantel, at either end, two statues complimenting the painting. There was plenty of open space along the mantel under the picture so I filled it with lots of small sculptures of many dog breeds and a centerpiece of St. Francis. The overall effect was much too crowded and took away from each piece on display. As my hoarder eyes were clearing I could remove 90% of the grouping and see how the empty space gave correct focus to the three pieces that were left.

Tat, your approach, on your own, with help from people here and with help in the real world has been a model of success! I mentioned before and repeat again, I really, really hope you stick around to offer your excellent, hard-earned advice. Your compassion and support are also invaluable. Fighting our hoarding tendencies will probably be life-long. It is so uplifting to know someone who is getting on top of it!

Excellent work on the jammie donation bag!!

(how funny ~~ my code to put in has PJ in it haha)

Posted: 21 January 2015 - 10:05 PM
YEA!!!! :D
Way To Go! Tatoulia
Posted: 21 January 2015 - 09:34 PM
Bag of jammies already in the car, destined for Goodwill! Washed them so they are fresh.
Posted: 21 January 2015 - 11:38 AM
I learned, over the summer, that I keep and buy stuff in case someone needs it and I must tell you I am forever cured of that. I will work on clothes with everyone's tips in mind. Tillie, it's funny that you mentioned empty spaces because now I like having shelf room and empty spots. It makes my home feel less crowded. I will work on closet including making decisions on next level of shoes and purses.

You know, I found the first level of dehoarding hard, and saved stuff so I could decide on second level, yet I'm not afraid and not anxious. I feel good and strong. Thanks to everyone here.
Posted: 21 January 2015 - 10:59 AM
The main rule when decluttering, minimizing and organizing possessions is
"just because there is room to store an item, that does not mean we should keep the item."

Everything must meet certain criteria if it is to be kept.
What questions do you ask yourself when deciding keep, toss or donate?

Try not to keep things just "because"...
somebody may need that someday and I will have it here for them.
Someday I may need a thing like that and would hate that I once had it but let it go.
I spent good money on it and letting it go would be wasteful even though I have no need for it or even like it any more.
Or any other just "because" reasons you may think of.

It is a very personal decision as to what we decide to keep.
It is a very personal reason as to how much stuff or empty space we each need to feel comfortable in our homes.
Posted: 21 January 2015 - 10:49 AM
LR, this is the very best news!! :D

A fresh, new start!!! You deserve it after all your very hard work!!

{{{BIG HUGS}}}
Posted: 21 January 2015 - 10:49 AM
Congratulations on your new place LR! I don't know how u did it but way to go. your my hero.
Posted: 21 January 2015 - 10:42 AM
Haha Tat, we just cross-posted. Of course no offense! I would be honored to be confused with Mel! But maybe not so much for poor Mel to be confused with me. ;)

What a lovely way to compliment people in explaining a mix-up with your sweetheart's name!

One of our family stories is about the times we would stay at my great-gramma's place on the Chesapeake Bay. The kids would be crabbing and we would just toss the crabs on the ground and the littlest ones would pick them up and put them in pails. Only the male crabs that were 10 inches point to point and never, ever a female or her baby. Crabs were very abundant back in those days. So one day my dad is on the bulkhead, netting and tossing and he turns around and yells, "M..., no Rob..., no T...,!!! By the time he got the right name out my littlest bro had a big old mad crabby hanging off his toe as he hopped around screaming! Haha!
Posted: 21 January 2015 - 10:26 AM
Hey Tat, that was me asking you about the clothes. :)

Whatever makes you feel good you should keep. You're smart enough to be able to make distinctions about eh and good. If your style tends towards the dressier side then the first things to go are the most casual. Keep one outfit for *dirty work*, meaning it wouldn't matter for those clothes to get ruined and then tossed. That level of clothes is always easily and inexpensively replaced.

I used to be a big pj person ~ those silky gowns felt so good in hot weather and there really is nothing like a big, fluffy bathrobe or cozy pj's in the winter! It's a lovely way to pamper ourselves. So definitely keep a few. If they fit the space you designate. WTG getting a bag together for donation since you just shopped a bit last night.

I had the same issue with weight fluctuation. It's very hard to spend decent money on some good pieces and then not be able to wear them. A general rule of thumb for that is if the weight difference is 5 - 10 lbs and you're confident that can be knocked off quickly keep them. If the weight difference is more or you bought the item because it was gorgeous and you planned to fit into it at a later date you might let that go.

There was one big consideration for me in donating my best clothes. When I did dress well it was classic, no trendy stuff. There are places in city areas that help poor women *dress for success*. Women who have serious struggles and are trying, through women's groups training, to get good jobs. They can also use good purses, shoes and nice costume jewelry. My psychiatrist does pro bono work for women escaping abusive situations and when she explained to me how much these good clothes help with the woman's self-esteem and confidence it was a no-brainer to donate ~ a lot. Even things with tags still on.

If there is a particular piece that you love then keep that one. I like keeping in mind what Mrs. Dave says ~ it's nice to share. Even when going grocery shopping yesterday I was tempted to buy all the strawberry and blueberry chobani yogurts since there weren't many left. Then I thought of that simple phrase and put some back.

Since it's easier for you to pare down clothes, keep at that. Just getting those discerning muscles in even better shape will help you pare down other areas later.

Really great work Tat!!
Posted: 21 January 2015 - 10:08 AM
Dianne, I think I confused you and Mel last night. Sorry, luckily you are both fantastic people giving fantastic advice so sure no one is insulted! Whenever I mistakenly call someone by my sweetheart's name, I always say, there is no bigger compliment! I value you both so much.
Posted: 21 January 2015 - 10:03 AM
WTG! LR2014 :D

Wishing you a wonderful new beginning full of peace and joy.

Posted: 21 January 2015 - 08:13 AM
LR, I am so proud of you! Congratulations! Wow you really got that done! So happy!!
Posted: 21 January 2015 - 06:28 AM
I wish to announce that on Sunday afternoon, I officially turned in the keys to my ever-flooding, often extremely noisy apartment. Most of my "stuff" for now is in a 10x10 storage place, and I am temporarily staying in a nice little home with some old friends for a couple of months. (They have a very nice, neat, clean home and they are wonderful friends and wonderful to live with.) I have my own comfy bed to sleep on in a comfy guest bedroom. The new place is about an hour's drive from my old place. More later. Whoo-hoo!

Hugs to all. Couldn't have done it without ya.
Posted: 20 January 2015 - 08:35 PM
Hello everyone! Nice to see you Bitsy. I hope you are surviving the winter okay. This time of year I think of my mother, who when we were children, would privately pray for February 1st, because she knew it would be light out til five. I find I do the same now.

Mel, thank you for your sweet post. I wear a lot of dresses and suits, even though my office is "business casual," which unfortunately must people take as casual. I dress up must days and feel good about it. I rarely participate in our jeans Fridays, but every so often I surprise them all. I work from home a day or two a week, which is nice. I don't have a ton if clothes but I know if I were realistic, I'd be able to get rid of more things that I don't wear. Some of my issues concern weight gain. I tend to buy a few good pieces of clothing and then when I can't fit into them, I'm not ready to say goodbye. So I think I could get rid of stuff if I followed the tips and really figured out what is realistic and what isn't.

One area, believe it or not, where I have an abundance of clothes is in the PJ, nightgown, slipper, bathrobe area. I try to stay out of those areas of stores but even last night I bought more PJs at Lord and Taylor. But I promised I'd get rid of some and I am getting a bag together.

I'm general, I just feel like I have too much stuff, so I appreciate all the tips on where to start. I will start on clothes closet. Might as well. Much easier for me to pare down on clothes than other things.

Tillie, always great to read about your day. My cat eats my sheer curtains.
Posted: 20 January 2015 - 07:19 PM
Hi :)

Spent the day being sorta lazy. :)
Tidied up my linens while I put away the freshly washed ones.
Put down some fresh scented drawer paper in a couple of drawers.
Sorted out my socks and tossed the ones developing holes.
Went through my sheer lacy window curtains and decided to toss a few that had seen better days.
Cats are very hard on them.
Watched a few documentaries on Netflix as I puttered around.
Made a toasted cheese sandwich. :D
Talked to, played with and helped the cats with their cat problems.
It has been a good day and now there is a beautiful winter sunset. :D

If that "spam" post is bothering people we can ask for it to be removed.
I plan to just ignore it and keep posting as if it weren't there.
They probably won't return.
Posted: 20 January 2015 - 04:42 PM
WAY TO GO MEL! should somebody email Cory?
Posted: 20 January 2015 - 03:20 PM
Will doctor "o" come to our houses and send us on an all expenses paid vacation while he cleans our houses and pays our bills? If not, not interested. ;)
Posted: 20 January 2015 - 12:25 PM
OH for crying out loud! :(
Sandra Ashley
Posted: 20 January 2015 - 10:34 AM
My name is Sandra Ashley and I base in USA, i never believed in spell or magic not until i met Dr. Osoijiakhena. My life is back!!! After 2 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids. I felt like my life was about to end, i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr. Osoijiakhena who i met online. That faithful day, I was browsing through the internet, I came across a lot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restored womb, cured cancer, and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. I also come across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called Sonia, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr. Osoijiakhena personal email address. After reading all these testimonies, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via his email (Contact Dr. Osoijiakhena via his personal email: and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before, Dr. Osoijiakhena is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real Solution and Genuine Spell Caster to solve all your Problems for you, Contact Dr. Osoijiakhena via his personal email: He Will be the Answer to your Problems. With His powers He can turn your dreams into reality.Contact Dr. Osoijiakhena via his personal email today:
1. Bring your ex boyfriend back
2. Bring your ex girlfriend back
3. Take your ex husband back
4. Bring your ex wife back
5. That someone you desire to love you
6. Get back your scammed money
7. cure any type of disease (especially HIV/AIDS)
8. Get a good job
9. Get your loan granted quickly
10. Get promotion in your office
11. Make Customs and immigration release your goods
12. Make the embassy grant your visa
13. Win Lottery
14. Make a divorce come through
15. Cancel a divorce process
16. Have a child of your own (if you are barren or sterile). AND MANY MORE!!!
Posted: 20 January 2015 - 09:36 AM
Hey Tat, sounds like Sunday was a good day of rest for you and you still got a lot done late at night at your mom's. Good work shredding, sweeping and vacuuming at your place yesterday too!

You've made so much progress overall. What, for you, would be the next level? What is your ultimate goal for reducing possessions? Are you able to have regular routines for maintenance that fit well with your other obligations?

As far as further reducing you could consider eliminating whole types of clothes. I no longer have any pj's or robes. I use my larger t-shirts to sleep in. For very cold weather I just add an extra blanket and maybe a pair of fluffy socks. I only have panties, bras and some socks. No more slips, shaping undergarments or nylons/tights. No slippers. No more office clothes or Sunday best because I don't need them. No dresses. For most occasions very nice pants will do. I keep a few more formal outfits for a funeral or a meeting with an attorney, etc.

That might be too extreme for most people but for my lifestyle it works. I still have way too much of what I do have. And you may be too young to eliminate whole groups. I know I'm never going to hold a job again where I have to wear nice clothes. I put dating aside awhile ago so I don't need to have especially nice things.

You said you have empty shelf and closet space. Maybe once you do some reorganizing you'll find that everything you have fits nicely. You may not have to pare down. Or you could decide that you like empty space because or the sense of freedom and clarity it gives you.

Ultimately the levels you work thru will be determined by the space you have and the life you are living. Much of my extra stuff was about the life I used to live or the life I planned to live. When we can get those memories and dreams sorted out in our heads it becomes easier to make the decisions about what goes and what stays.

What do you think you need to get rid of still?
Posted: 19 January 2015 - 08:15 PM
Very good suggestion, Tillie! I did exactly this with kitchen cabinets over the summer but hadn't considered for bedroom. I have a very good dresser and my entire closet was designed by California Closets so it's very roomy, including multiple shelves, six dresser drawers, different places to hang clothes.

Maybe start easy with the six closet drawers. They are small and not used as well as they could be. Two alone hold nylons and tights. I think I could keep one drawer for nylons/tights and maybe move all the pjs and nightgowns into some of the others.

This sounds so simple but honestly I didn't see it.


it's so nice to have you back. Giant hugs.
Posted: 19 January 2015 - 07:19 PM
HI :)
So nice to catch up with you all. ;)

Over did it today. But really, something's were getting on my nerves and I just had to deal with them.

Tatoulia, so you want to get to the next level,
that's fantastic. :D

Emptying a whole room is an awful lot to do at one time and I worry you may become overwhelmed, paralyzed and burned out.

How to get organized...
Think about one do-able area, like a dresser.
Think how you want to use the drawer space. What items do you want in the different drawers.
Now, dump out one drawer.
Only place back what you decided that drawer will be used for.
Sort through the other stuff and place it aside near where you think it will go permanently.
Once the first drawer is done you can now dump the second drawer.
Repeat the sorting out.
Now, there will be things in other locations that you decide belong in the drawers but they are locate elsewhere in the home.
Later, at another time, you can gather them up and put them into their assigned drawer.

If there is too much of any one kind of any items...
Choose to keep only the best most loved and used items and let the others go live elsewhere.
Use this same method throughout the house with closets, cupboards, shelves etc...
Tackle only one small section at a time removing items and refilling the areas with only what goes there.

Layout of my two dressers...
Dresser #1
Top drawer- blouses
middle drawer- dresses
bottom drawer- flannel night gowns
Dresser #2
Top drawer- undies
middle drawer- slips & such
bottom drawer- summer night gowns

I don't have a closet space for hanging clothes & that's why I keep them all in the dressers. :)

My chest of drawers contains
Kitchen linens, dish cloths & towels
socks & pull over tops
table cloths & doilies

I have the items all put where it is easiest for me to get to them and use them and put them away afterward.
If it is too difficult to get to things and put them away afterward then they tend to pile up and become clutter.

Posted: 19 January 2015 - 05:45 PM
Hello everyone! Tillie I started a post this AM but then my lunch dates (friend and her toddler son) were outside and ready for lunch. I did nothing yesterday--lived like a cat--slept til nearly noon (when did I become this person) and after tea and toast I went back to bed. Snoozed, watched movies in Netflix, etc. finally got up yet didn't shower and get out if the house til 8:30 PM. Went over to mom's and was with her as football game finished up. I changed her sheets got her and picked up a little here and there.

Bitsy, thank you for your kind words. I appreciate your support and wisdom while trying to help mom. I think you'll be eased to know that she and her social workers got the organizers in their own and they did not tell me. Her apt is so pretty and I took some more donations out last night. Mom sleeps rarely so I stayed til about 11 PM, when the BF stopped by to get me.

Celeste, good to see you posting. I'm generally reading and posting from iPhone and couldn't read the lighter green print. I hope all is well with you.

Nice newsy post, Mel. My goodness a lot of change for you. You are doing great. Dianne, I didn't post all weekend because I didn't do anything around the house.... Til today! I shredded a bag of my brother's papers which I had planned to do but hadn't. I also shredded a bunch of my own and swept up living room and vacuumed living room and den.

Tillie, I am so sorry you've been sick. I've been pretty healthy this year but after dr's appt last week I am on new meds and I dizzy. And having trouble adjusting. Right now I just feel weird and I think I'd prefer the dizziness. I think this will all pass very soon.

Today was holiday at work so nice to have a 3-day weekend. And I am pleased with working on house. I have much less stuff, but I let stuff pile up on the floor and it drives me nuts. I have to still reduce and need help figuring out what else to get rid of. I never followed through with idea of removing everything from bedroom and deciding what goes back. I need to do this. I need to further reduce. I'm good about not getting new stuff, and I go have empty shelf and closet space, but I know I need to do more. Will take all suggestions and hints and ideas. I want to go to next level.

Missing you all.
Posted: 19 January 2015 - 11:42 AM
Tillie, I think what happens is people just move on periodically. Some newcomers drop by but don't stick around. Some regulars get to a point where real life takes up their time.

And what is bittersweet is when people who have been very involved finally reach goals and don't need to post as often as they used to. We miss their frequent updates but can be very happy that they can now live lives in the real world that they were striving for.

Glad you're feeling better and can get some things done today.

Bitsy thanks for the kind words. Take good care my friend.

Celeste, I hear you about the laundry! It's a never ending project in this house. I read your response to Arron regarding schizophrenia. It was exceptional advice from a very personal point of view as well as sounding professional. Your opinion about revealing the son's death was perfect. I'm sure Arron was able to find a lot of understanding and comfort from your post.

Mel, I love reading your long updates!! I'm so happy that you are reaping the successes of all your hard work! Hope all went well with the *parent meet*. Sometimes kitties decide not to like someone despite all good attempts. After living and working with over a hundred cats throughout my life I've found that with some it can take literally years before they come to a completely comfortable place. That's not to say you can't live in harmony. But acceptance and love will be on his timetable. I'm glad mama kitty is sweet to you. :) Continue to live a wonderful, balanced life!
Posted: 19 January 2015 - 09:32 AM
Good morning

Looks like the Zombie Apocalypse must have happened while I was away. :(

None of my weekend plans got done. Been too sick to get out of bed.
Much better today so I now need to work on cleaning myself up and clean up all the dishes & laundry I have left scattered all around.

Checked into Sunday night online support group last evening and it was the same thing....
nothing but a few lonely tumbleweeds blowing down the lane. :(
Posted: 17 January 2015 - 10:27 AM
Hello all, hope everyone is doing well and having a productive weekend!

LR, hope the move went/is going smoothly! Congratulations!!

Tillie, good for you working on will and advanced directives! We went through the process last year of doing all the paperwork with my folks, including setting up a trust. It was a lot of work (and since they set up a trust, it was pretty expensive) but I feel good knowing that they have all the appropriate paperwork completed, that everything has been decided and written down, and if something were to happen, we don't have to worry about it. Also, happy belated birthday!

Diane, great idea to plus the computer into the tv! I'm running on an old laptop myself and last year I spilled water on it. The keyboard doesn't work properly anymore so I decided rather than trying to figure out if I could afford to buy a new laptop, I would just get an external keyboard. It's a little frustrating at times but way cheaper than a new computer!

Dianne, really nice thoughts on life lessons. When I was young, I was picked on, teased, and bullied for many years. I think about that kind of thing a lot. I might post about that separately because my posts are always so enormous even without that :) But I will share my thoughts.

Tatoulia, congratulations about your mom! And good job working on all that shredding!

Celeste, good luck with the folding! Are your kids old enough to help out?

I haven't had time to post recently, tho I have been reading peoples' posts. On the fun side, it was my birthday week this week and I've had lots of fun celebrating. On the not-fun side, there were a series of layoffs at my workplace, and my boss, who was very high up in the company and had been there for 20 years, got fired unexpectedly. We have a newish CEO (been there for a little over a year) and he's been cleaning house since he got here, but since she had made it so long we thought she might be OK. I already had a good working relationship with the person I am now reporting to. He "inherited" several people from the department i've been associated with, and he told me that the person he was most excited to work with was me, so at least I feel like that's a positive thing. Still, it's a huge change, plus I had been working with my boss for 7 years and we had a really good relationship, so I was very sad for her as well.

My boyfriend is taking a couple more classes (he's done with his "core" classes but has a couple of electives to finish up before he graduates in June) so we haven't been doing a lot of cleaning. I've been doing my best to keep up with my stuff, and he shredded three full banker boxes worth of stuff in the past week. Since he's the one who usually gets the cleaning moving, we haven't made a ton of progress in the past couple weeks. However, he did previously finish cleaning out the second bedroom, which was amazing. I can't remember when the room was so clean. He even organized a ton of my CDs into alphabetized stacks. I had major anxiety when he threw out the stuff he had shredded - I didn't think he mixed it up enough, he didn't add yucky fluids to the bags, etc. I know I'm probably being way overly paranoid about it but I've known people who had nightmares with identity theft and it just scares me. I've worked really really hard to build up my credit, and it's not perfect, but it's not bad.

I'm sort of getting adjusted to living with the kitties. The boy kitty does not like me at all, but only shows his displeasure with me if my boyfriend is not around, hissing at me, swatting at me as I walk by, etc. I've tried feeding him, giving him treats, petting him, playing with him - nothing works. The mama kitty is sweet to me and I like her. Unfortunately the kitties aren't keeping the mice out. Or maybe (hopefully) it's just one. We have a "bread drawer" in the kitchen where we store all our bread products. Last week I bought my favorite bread and a few days later I discovered it had been chewed on. I moved all the other bread out of the drawer and put a small trap in there. So far no luck. I don't really have a lot of options. I can't put poison out at all with the cats around (plus I wouldn't want to put poison so close to our food), and I have a trap in the drawer but it's not catching anything. Do I get more traps? Even those I'd have to keep in the drawers since I don't want to hurt the kitties. Thankfully the bread appears to be the only thing being eaten. It even left alone a bag of candies and a different bag of bread.

Today I am planning a trip to the library, possibly taking a friend out to eat, and spending some nice quality time with my boyfriend. Tomorrow his parents are taking us and my parents to breakfast. It will be the first time our parents will meet, so it's a little exciting and scary. My sister dislikes my boyfriend so I'm a little worried my mom will say something about that (I love her but she often puts her foot in her mouth when she's nervous about meeting new people). My dad has parkinson's and alzheimers, so if he's having a bad day tomorrow they're going to stay home. I would like them to meet so I'm hoping he'll be doing ok.

Sorry for always babbling on and on. I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Posted: 17 January 2015 - 07:32 AM
Also, Does anyone know if there's maybe a system update or something going on? I have been trying to connect into group chat, to see if anyone's up for a little buddy session today, to motivate me to task. I haven't been able to connect, either phone or computer. Just says says "connecting" for the guest sign-in. Thanks for any feedback.
Posted: 17 January 2015 - 07:26 AM
Hello all,

I hope to tackle some folding of clothes. I have more bagged up clean laundry than I can count...seriously. I then hope, although ambitious, to bag up dirty laundry with all the empty bags. I could do a load of laundry for 365 days just to tackle it, however, all the new dirty would just collect. load drying and another in the washer. The hardest part is putting away the clean before someone knocks it over, and pets lay on it or kids step on it, then it has to be washed anew...again. Maybe I can pack away summer clothes before the season changes, for the 10th year in a row!So that is my plan for today! :)
Posted: 16 January 2015 - 08:35 PM
" there comes a time to let go and accept the help that's offered to us. Easier said or written than done. I really, really need to do more work on myself." thanks for putting it into words
Posted: 16 January 2015 - 08:17 PM
kudos to your Mom, social worker, and organizers. and you. your Mom deserves some happiness. thank you for giving her love and understanding.
Posted: 16 January 2015 - 11:22 AM
Good morning :)

Friday, again.
Anybody have any weekend plans?
Maybe going to finally tackle that long put off task?
Or maybe you will be going out somewhere and having some fun?
Curious minds want to know. :D

January has no special dates for me.
December there were three.
A very special wedding, the last HOBBIT movie and then my birthday.

My one big plan for this weekend is to get outside and make a huge bonfire.
Have LOTS of small branches from that tree we cut down and now they are dry enough to burn.
There is also a bunch of other things that I have gathered up to toss into the flames.
This is always so much fun and spiritually cleansing.

Posted: 15 January 2015 - 02:49 PM
I don't get Netflix so no Hoarders for me. :(

Good for you Tat, shredding papers. I just trash them and figure nobody is going to steal my identity because then they would really have bad credit! :D

Yes Tillie, I never give myself credit for making the best decision I could at the time. It's very natural for me to berate myself especially with 20/20 hindsight. I always think I SHOULD HAVE been smarter, more observant, not so emotional, whatever. Even knowing the shoulda/woulda/coulda syndrome is pointless and detrimental it's deeply rooted. I rarely have the lightness of spirit to say c'est la vie. It's a very good perspective though. :)

Today I've been working on laundry again. Those doggies in and out with the melting snow, what a mess! And scrubbing floors.

Little Christmas trees are still up. I don't turn on the lights because they are so dry. Really need to get those babies down.
Posted: 15 January 2015 - 12:31 PM
WTG! Tatoulia :D

Hoarders episodes can be very motivating.
I like to put then on the big TV when my hoarder is home and it keeps him from stagnating.
He will go outside just to get away from them. HAHAHA :D

HI LR2014 :)
WAY TO GO!!!! for all the hard work you have done.
You continue to be an inspiration to us all. :)

Hi Diane :)
What I was trying to say is that I have come to accept how my life has changed.
WTG! figuring out how to use the TV as your computer monitor! :D
Hoping you have been having a GREAT time with your loaner dog. :D

many decisions/choices we make in our lives were made using the information/knowledge/facts that were available to us at the time we needed to decide/take action.
Later, other factors may have come into play making our decisions of the past the wrong way to have gone.
But at the time, we made the right/best decisions/plans given what we knew then.
Hind sight is always 20/20 but that is no reason to beat ourselves up since we are not fortune tellers or have crystal balls.
JMHO, life is like a roll of the dice, we place our bets and accept the outcome.
But we are allowed to roll the dice again to try to improve the situation.
Even if that just means we need to make a heartfelt apology.

C'est la vie

Posted: 14 January 2015 - 05:18 PM
Woo hoo is right! I will watch tonight as I shred my papers. Making some decent progress on the trunk of my car, Tillie!
Posted: 14 January 2015 - 10:53 AM

Netflix has "HOARDERS" available again!!! :D

Season one, 15 episodes.
Posted: 14 January 2015 - 09:29 AM
Tillie, thank you for your thoughtful post. It sounds like you are taking stock of your life so far and taking a look at your future. When I turned 50, I had a bit of a crisis, realizing that I've devoted my life to taking care of others and trying to fill their needs. That was very sad to me, but I put the energy into purging my hoard--I was keeping so many things for just in case and buying duplicates in the event some one else needed them. I felt I was reclaiming my life by deciding that I will not be a store or a warehouse for some upcoming need for someone. And that's when I found you. I think that it's tough to face the facts of our own mortality and as hard as it can be, it's good that you are mapping out a course for yourself. It feels sad and good, all at the same time.

Diane, good for you figuring out the TV/monitor situation. LR, you are doing it! Sending you hugs and strength! Dianne, thank you for sharing so much of yourself. I take great strength from everyone here. Thank you.
Posted: 14 January 2015 - 08:38 AM
Hey LR, it's good to hear from you! Congratulations on your move tomorrow! You've worked very hard to get to this point. How long do expect to stay with your friends?
Posted: 14 January 2015 - 07:22 AM
Hi, everybody. Here's a quick checkin. I've been packing boxes, labeling boxes, (donating and tossing . . . but not in mass quantities), packing boxes, labeling boxes, etc. Trying to get moved out of my place this week (hopefully by the end of the day tomorrow, if not before). Most things are going to storage and are fitting into a 10x10 space. I myself am going to be staying with some friends for a while. Bye, bye, excess flooding and crazy-level noise! Whoo-hoo!!! (I'm happy.)

Thanks for your help and encouragement through this process! Hugs to everybody.
Posted: 13 January 2015 - 04:11 PM
Diane, what a smart idea to try the tv screen with the computer!

I look forward to seeing you every day again and hear how you continue to improve your life!

How is that good boy, Max?
Posted: 13 January 2015 - 04:00 PM
Tillie, I also have been reevaluating my life. Feeling the age.

Unlike you I have many regrets. I think it's natural for some people to wish they had done things differently, made different choices. For me the key has been not to let those regrets continue to haunt me or shape my life. That's a very, very difficult process. I have to work on it every day.

Considering that way of thinking has also taught me to consider mistakes I continue to make, learn from them and let them go. Ruminating does no good, especially for someone of my mindset, and is a big factor in regret. I look at baseball players, who after making a really awful, rookie mistake and the intense feeling of agitation they must feel for a moment, hearing the groans of the crowds and knowing the cameras are on their faces to catch the pained expression. And the intense discipline it must take to just knock that moment aside. The is no room in the game at that moment to regret anything. The moment was there, it passed and the next play is just as important. Keep going. Rethink later when the time is appropriate, learn from it, let it go. That's what I try to do now knowing I still have lots of potentially regrettable mistakes to be made in life.

I also, like everyone person, have had disappointments in what some people have done deliberately to me. Some of those things have been devastating causing me much upheaval in my life, destroying my trust, crushing my spirit. That has been a tremendous source of growth for me as well as the initial pain. Through it I have learned that everyone suffers in ways that others cannot understand. I have learned compassion and that it is a source of regret (again another lesson) when it occurs to me that I have caused the same horrible disappointments in others. Yes, some deliberately.

And it teaches me to forgive all those who have hurt me. Even deliberately. Maybe I had done something to make them want to hurt me. Maybe they were just mean. Maybe they were reacting to something else and I was in the line of fire. I've always taught my kids that if a dog bites he had a reason. We may not understand it but it made sense in his mind. How could I not extend that same consideration to a human?

I may not put myself in a position to be hurt again but I do forgive and pray that the thorns in their lives will slide out relieving their pain. And if the opportunity arises that the person who caused the pain wants reconciliation I am willing to go there fully with them. My dear sister-in-law has blown me away with the lessons of forgiveness and love she lives in her life.

Your thoughts on time and enjoyment are spot on. I see more and more people, as they age to be sure, recognizing and living with those ideals. When my brother became aware that his time was going to be cut short the important things in life became crystal clear. I will be forever grateful that my father had a will and advanced directives in place. It is a final gift to those we love. I need to get that done too.

I would love to hear others' thoughts on life lessons. In addition to having a space to share hoarding issues this board has allowed me to learn a great deal about myself in many areas. Putting things into writing helps tremendously.

Much love and peace and thanks to all of you ~~

Posted: 13 January 2015 - 12:12 PM
Good morning
Tillie, I am not sure how to interpret what you are saying. Are you saying your life is about to change? I wish you the best for your happiness, as always.
I finally broke my computer screen trying to make it work, had to push on upper left corner, harder and harder to make it work. I was ready to go buy a new one, when I thought, might as well see if I could plug into tv. Well computer screen was the problem, now can use computer on tv, just not screen attached to puter. It is so much faster to use now that I don't have to twist screen after every word.
I feel like now that puter works, I can rejoin this group and start making my living situation better, without group, seem to let clutter take over. Thank goodness that I had inspiration to try using tv screen for puter. I will soon feel part of this group again, hooray. Now I will read all of your posts and catch up, so happy to have you back in my life.
Posted: 13 January 2015 - 10:59 AM
Good Morning :)

Been evaluating my life...
There are no regrets for the things that I have done or chosen not to do.
I am only human and as such the mistakes I have made were to be expected.
Many disappointments as to what some others have done deliberately concerning me.
But through this I have learned so very much about the differences of various types of humans.
There have also been many people who have touched my life in wonderful positive ways.
I will keep my focus on my memories of them.

None of us know how much time we have here.
I will evaluate my future plans and declutter those plans/things that do not bring me satisfaction, peace, joy.

What possessions will I be leaving behind?
People tend to save the good stuff for some later date, just in case they will regret having used and enjoyed it and no longer have it later.
I say enjoy it today because tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Eat from the good china, use the good silverware, drink from the crystal goblet, wear the nice clothes.
Should these things break or start to show wear, remember the joy you had using them.

look around you
find the beauty
listen to the music

I am going to make up my will and advance directives.
It would be unfair to not have my wishes written down, leaving people to guess as to what I would have wanted.
Been there, done that. It's emotionally quite difficult.

Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : What are you doing today

Reply to this topic
best live chat

Interactive Hoarding Help
Click Boxes Below

best live chat
Site Mailing List 
"Cleaning with Care and Compassion TM"

Hoarding Cleanup
Nationwide Hoarding Resources Directory

Copyright 2009 - 2021

Design Your Own Website, Today!
iBuilt Design Software
Give it a try for Free