Had a few bad days emotionally. Not really feeling up to posting but I figured I should do it anyway.

I've done my morning routine and I want to take the dog out for a hike. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if our usual spot is open today so I may have to take him out on a leash. It won't be as good for him as a nice long off leash run and it will be a bit of a hassle for me but it's better than nothing I suppose. Those are my rational thoughts on the matter, while my OCD is making my head spin. Trying to ignore that.

After the dog outing I need to do a bunch of stuff. So I'm going to run errands that are top priority and choose ONE cleaning task to do and break it into small steps. I'd rather crawl back into bed to be honest. Also to be honest, if my wonderful husband wouldn't be working all day on a Sunday to come home to me as a lump in bed I probably would. Trying to avoid that cycle of guilt and shame.

Sorry if this post is a bummer, I'm just trying to post honestly instead of only coming on here when I'm all positive. I'm fine, just having some trouble dismissing my OCD lately. It's cyclical for me, I've noticed, depending on hormonal swings. Just gotta push through.

Hang in there everybody, thinking of you all!

The visiting medical personnel want you to do more, Tillie??? If that weren't so frustrating, it would almost be laughable. How much more can you possibly do than what you already do, day in and day out???

Glad to hear that you actually got away from home for a few hours . . . just you (and the vehicle). You've deserved that opportunity (one that so many of us just take for granted) for soooo long! Whoo-hooo!

I had to laugh inwardly about how your s.o. behaves around the therapists. I saw that scenario many times with one of my loved ones a number of years ago, especially around one particular therapist. Admittedly, I myself would not have wanted to have experienced the therapy techniques she used with him. Well, he would sometimes put on a big, big show of being exhausted and of feeling bad when she'd show up. Oh, no, he just didn't "feel up to" the therapy today! Finally, she would give up on the day's therapy and would leave. It was amazing how much energy he'd suddenly get once she walked out the door! I felt angry about it at the time, but it kind of amuses me as I look back on it years later.

Good morning, Tillie and Roxie! I am working on being kinder to my self. I'd feel better if I'd just do something. I will be taking my family out soon and so will take ten minutes to do something before I go. Thank you for the help and encouragement. I don't like the idea of being negative here and need to remind myself that we all go through ups and downs. I am coming up on my year anniversary here and look how far we've all come in the past year!

Tillie I am so sorry about your situation right now, It is very hard being the "well one". It's like you're not able to feel overwhelmed or angry or resentful because you are well and the other person is not. Growing up with a sick brother, I was expected to be in charge and to do everything because I am not the sick one. Forty years later, and it's no different. You are entitled to put your foot down, you are entitled to say you can't./won't/shouldn't have to do everything. It's easier said than done, but stay firm where you can. Keep those car keys,

Roxie, thank you for your insight and wisdom. I hope today treats you well.

Thank you all for your support. You are important to me. If I could head out and help you, I'd be there in an instant. Til then, I am standing by your side in spirit.

Tatoulia :)
(((HUGS)))

Make a plan. Write a To-Do list.
Tackle a task for 10 minutes.
Whatever works best for you right now.

Decluttering, cleaning and change of any kind all begin with thinking.
Right now you are thinking about how much you don't like your surroundings and are thinking about plans and ways to change it.
WAY TO GO!!! :)

CLEAN unfolded laundry not ocean. I'm just so disgusted with myself tonight. I hate the frustration I am feeling and I don't like myself a whole lot right now. Please know that I care about you all, I'm just distracted by my self loathing this minute.

Hello. I'm feeling like my house is unlivable with the clutter creep. Am keeping bedroom the best right now and other than the occasional pile of ocean, unfolded laundry, I've done a good job keeping up with the bedroom. I need to do something about the living room. It is not livable. There is too much clutter and too many papers and bits of papers from the shredder, etc.

Really upsetting that I've let the clutter collect. I will not beat myself up any more today, and I will think of a plan and make a list of some individual tasks to do.

HaHaHa Karl :D
As always, he was suspect number one,
but upon further investigation I was quickly able to eliminate him from the suspect line up. :D

Hi LR2014 :)
Hoping that you have been able to get some of that creeping clutter corralled so it doesn't come get you while you sleep. ;)

The drive home from Reno was upsetting/traumatizing.
Someone hit one of the horses on the highway. :(
There are signs posted warning people that there are horses and cows living free out on the range.
The landscape is open with nothing larger than sage brush blocking the view for miles.
People are supposed to watch for them near the road and slow down, even stop if necessary.
The very first funeral I ever attended was when I was a young teenager, for a dear friend of mine who hit a horse with his car.

Today I need to find inner peace with the world.
Replace the images with beauty and hope.
I will watch the birds play in my garden. :)

(((hugs)))

Tatoulia, I am just getting caught up a little bit on posts, and I noticed this line in one of yours: "So what I did buy were pieces to decorate my cleaned out home and to bring it to the next level." Ah, ".to bring it to the next level." I like that thought and that phrasing. Upgrading! Sounds great! Hope your procedure goes well this week. Hugs.

Tillie, I am greatly reassured that in this challenging situation, you have not resorted to spraying! You're too funny! : )

I have a creeping clutter problem near where I sleep that needs to be attacked today. I plan to spend at least 30 minutes working on that today.

Hugs to everyone. Looking forward to catching up on more posts later.

I thought I posted something a few days ago, but I don't see it. (Must have dreamed it.)

Happy belated birthday, Roxie!!


I noticed yesterday that we've passed the 5 million hits mark! Whoo-hoo!

More later. Hugs to all.

Roxie, happy belated birthday! And to answer your question the puppy is a German Shorthaired Pointer :)

We just spent the weekend at a hunt test for him and he passed his fourth so he won his Junior Hunter title! And in the spirit of me trying new things and building my confidence I was his handler 2 of the 4 tests! I couldn't believe I was brave enough to do it, to be honest. It went well all around and I learned a lot that I wouldn't have learned from the sidelines.

Positive life changes.

Today I've done my morning routine and I'm going to take pup for a hike. I have what feels like way too much to do around the house since the weekend kind of threw me off. So instead of posting what I plan to do, when I get home from our hike I'm going to just start moving and see what I can accomplish.

Thinking of you all ((hugs))

Good Morning :)

Hi Roxie :)
Thank you.
But I never pamper. LOL
Only help when I see it is truly needed.
The other week an Occupational Therapist came by here and I told her "we don't need you."
She said/insisted that she do an evaluation and I said "knock yourself out" and let her in.
She saw for herself that he could function perfectly fine, do all things necessary like reach food/dishes and use all the features of the bathroom and get in and out of his bed, etc...
She asked who cleans the house, does the yard work, does the maintenance, does the laundry, buys the groceries/pharmacy, etc. and I said "I do" to all her questions.
As she left she said that I was right, we don't need her. :D

Yesterday I got the house cleaned! YEA!!!
This morning "someone" peed on the fresh clean throw rug I had in front of the bathroom sink.
I asked every cat "DID YOU DO THIS????" and they all denied it. :(
They do not normally pee away from the litter box so must now watch to see if someone is sick or something.
Yesterday my first Iris bloomed! :D
A lovely lavender shade of purple.
Today I plan to make green tea/lemonade, hard boil some eggs and make macaroni salad.
Then clean the kitchen.
Also, wash some laundry.
Mostly today I will just take it easy and enjoy Springtime. :)
Monday only have the home nurse and physical therapist coming by but Tuesday another 150+ mile round trip into Reno to the vascular surgeon's office.
At least I get to see the grazing Mustang (wild horses) along the drive there.
Last time, we counted 22 horses. :)

Tea toast! ;)

Good morning everybody! :D

Yesterday was one of THOSE days.
Nothing accomplished and everything that could go wrong went wrong.

Fresh new day today. All freshly washed by the rain we had over night. :D

Today my plan is to do a good thorough house cleaning.
Bathroom, wash floors, vacuum, dust, etc...
Kitchen is about the only area not needing a good cleaning since I have been keeping up with that.
Hoping that tomorrow I can have the whole day off to rest up for the week to come.
There will be more appointments and long car trips but it is starting to look like things are improving.

Missing you all (((hugs)))

Great work, Tillie! WTG!!!!! Bitsy sorry that you are navigating the murky waters of medicare. It really does add insult to injury. Keep you chin up.


And it bears repeating, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROXIE!!!!!!

VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROXIE
glad you are home and posting.

I am starting to have to have more tests and am not used to having to deal with medicare since my mother died 35 years ago. i don't know how you keep up with all that.I am concerned about what kind of procedures I will be facing as as heart and arterial conditions worsen.Your courage is inspiring.

Greetings! :D

Happy birthday Roxie!!! :D
Sorry to hear that sad news but very, very happy you are not celebrating a birthday in the hospital. :)

Been busy, busy, busy this morning.
Just now 2:00pm and I ate lunch & am resting a while.
Went to the dump. YEA!!! WTG!!! :D
One very full truckload cost only 5.00.
Burned two burn barrels full of trash.
Got all my freshly washed winter bedding properly stowed away till next Fall.
Helped a neighbor fix the rain puddle in their driveway. I have a BIG pile of rocks and use them to fill in the low areas in the dirt driveway to stop puddles.
Now I need to wash dishes/clean the kitchen.

Last night we received almost an inch of rain here. :D
Have a chance of rain again tonight. Fingers crossed XXX we get it. ;)

For those of us who have Netflix...
Read online that "HOARDERS" will be returning on May 14th.
Didn't mention which, or how many, episodes.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROXIE!

wishing you a very happy birthday and joy year 'round!


Ps oh my goodness/cardiac/stent. Yikes.

Hi Tatoulia :)
Thank you (((hugs)))
Your bedroom sounds absolutely lovely. :D
Enjoy all your hard work and fine eye for decorating in a way that soothes your spirit.
WAY TO GO!!! :D

It is raining here right now with lots of thunder!
I love it. :)

Bitsy I was just catching up on some posts. I feel terrible about how tough everything is right now. Maybe I'm stating the obvious but if you can get a handicap license plate, I hope you will. Although my mother no longer drives, she recently got a placard and it makes it easier for me to get her walker out and get her into wherever we are going. She needs a wheelchair right now and is slowly warming up to the idea. I have a deep appreciation for my mobility and I so wish I lived close enough to whisk you around and help you out.

Hello everyone! M

Tillie, I am both pleased and sorry that you are working on his hoard right now. I bet you feel the same way, aggravated that you are cleaning up his mess but also glad that you are able to get rid of the stuff. Keep up the good work. I am sorry for all the aggravation you are going through. It sounds familiar to me, so I can truly tell you I feel your anger and sadness and everything else when I read your posts.

Today I went through and took even more books out of my bookshelves. Not easy. But pulled out a bunch of hardcover books, it's time, bug bag to go to goodwill.

I did some antiquing this weekend and I bought a few things, It has forced me to get rid of other things, spent some time "culling the herd" of small ceramics. While antiquing I bought a lamp, looks great in bedroom, (remember I gave away a beloved bedroom lamp a week or so ago), a watercolor, looks fantastic, and a couple of small things, Have in turn taken down two art pieces from bedroom and otherwise made tough decisions on other things. Bedroom looks so pretty. Very pleased with the quality of the the things I purchased and how they forced me to make other decisions re artwork and knickknacks. All around a win. There were things I wanted to buy but didn't (vintage dishes) and I stood there and talked myself out of it. Reminded myself don't need, as i just got rid of an unbelievable quantity of stuff. So what I did buy were pieces to decorate my cleaned out home and to bring it to the next level. Bedroom looks beautiful.

Having medical procedure next week. Want house to be nice in case I need aftercare.

Good to read everyone's posts. I miss you all so much and it's like a ray of sunshine when I see your names.

Good morning :)

Hi Jess :)
Hoping you are getting outside to enjoy your beautiful weather. :)

Went into town yesterday morning to run a few errands and some time during this trip he informed me that he had an appointment at the clinic for some blood work.
Wish he would tell me when he makes these appointments. Ended up being in town till 4:30.
Miserable day all around. Nothing accomplished at home.
Today my plan is to straighten my closet.
Will probably need a nap since I woke up at 4:00 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep.
Today his physical therapist and home nurse will be by.
Tomorrow I plan to drive the truck to the dump since it is full of garbage I have filled it with from the yard/carport hoard. :D
Slowly but steadily things are getting accomplished here.

TTYL :)

Good morning :)

Spent half of yesterday working outside.
Rearranging where I store my gardening stuff.
Was hard because most all of it was buried in the hoarded garage.
I had cleared all his clutter out of the pump house the other month and now there is room for the gardening stuff in there. :)
Then I spent the rest of the day washing stuff that now needs to be stored away till next winter.
Heavy bedding and jackets & such. :)
Today I am going to town to pick up his prescriptions and see if I can find some sandals to wear around the yard this summer and also to get some food.
I am tired but happy to get some things accomplished around here. :D

Hello everybody :)

Today I want to get to the grocery store, clean out our cooler and put it away, and weed the strawberry boxes alongside the deck.

Got a beautiful day to work with, so that's a plus!

How is everyone feeling? Love to hear from you all.

I'm sorry to see some people having a rough time. ((hugs)) But also glad to see you guys posting anyway and working through it.

Today's task is to retire some winter things for the year. I want to clean my boots and store them right so they will be ready when I need them next year. There's some clothes I can probably toss or donate rather than pack up for next year.

It's gloomy here and I'm just not feeling as cheery as usual but I'm trying not to sink down into that yuck feeling. Maybe I'll do some garden work or take a walk despite the misty gray weather. Getting outside usually does me some good.

how many things can go wrong? wanted to post about beautiful (mostly) spring but to many "little" things always happening and so little energy to deal with them. Finally got taxes done on the 14th- but had to pay $119 even though i am low income because i had to fill out a schedule D because i sold stock last year. 15th went to doc for annual physical. they did a test on my legs and informed me the results showed severe peripheral arterial disease. i thought it was just poor circulation. have to have another test at the hospital Wednesday. the day i went to the doc pouring rain and my windshield wipers quit. i thought it was the switch arm mechanism on the steering wheel but i figured out how to get to that and replace it but they still won't go. maybe wiper motor. been storms all morning but tornado watch has just been canceled and should be clearing up. i have been working on the car so i can get it in for an oil change and maybe a tune up. the smallest things overwhelm me more and more. i did get some winter things out of the car and stored. the last dry leaves are still hanging on the oak trees. i can so relate to needing a scooter or wheelchair to shop.it cuts down on some necessary shopping but makes it difficult when you want to pick out something like books or clothing. "my" goodwill has a wheel chair but i still need to get from car to store which is almost too far. i miss lilacs, violets, columbine, lily of the valley, bleeding heart, and mock orange blossoms that were in the yard in my childhood up north. and I am glad to hear someone else still enjoys incense.. especially patchouli

Hi, Karl. Sorry things have gone wrong this week. : (

To the Happy Hippie: Glad you were able to make a fun stop-off on the trip back from Reno. I agree with what you were saying about posting during the ups and downs. For me, I actually find it helpful when someone else says "I'm feeling bummed out" or "I'm going backwards right now." (Don't get me wrong; I don't mean that I'm glad that the person feels bummed out. Just saying that it can be helpful to me to read about others' struggles.) When one person talks about his/her ups and downs, then it helps each of us to feel free to talk about our own not-too-happy periods, to see that it's normal to have ups and downs, and to see that we can get through them.

Glad you got some extra sleep, Roxie.

Congrats on getting the dental stuff set up, Jess! I need to do that, too.

I haven't written much lately about decluttering, in part because most of my stuff is currently in storage. That being said, the room I'm staying in certainly has become less than tidy. I have been busy with "other things" and haven't done much about the non-tidy-ness yet. Haven't done much about my vehicle situation, either.

Happy Saturday evening to all.

Hi Roxie :)

Sounds like you tried to accomplish too much in one day.
I have been trying to pace my hoarder since he came out of the hospital.
He wants to do too much in a day and pays for it with exhaustion and increased pain in his leg.
Then he spends the next day depressed because he can't do anything but lay around in bed.
Please take it easier on yourself. I know you want to consolidate car trips but then you don't have any fun and pay dearly for it later.
(((HUGS)))

Went to Reno today for his Dr. appointment.
On the way home I stopped in to a shop that I really like.
It's called "HIPPIES" and they sell handmade incense, essential oils, candles, tie dye everything,magic crystals, posters, etc., blown glass pipes for people who need them, I don't. ;)

Bought 86 assorted incense sticks and a vial of patchouli oil.
Spent a total of 16.00 :D
I am a happy Hippie now.

Good morning :)
Just a little after 11:00am here.

Physical therapist visit is over now.
Twinkles veterinarian appointment is at 2:00pm.
So I have some free time right now. :)

Hi Diane :)
We all have our ups and downs.
Please don't feel you need to stay away when you are down.
In fact, when we get down we should post here for the friendship and emotional support.
Nobody here thinks anything less of us when aren't functioning at our highest levels.
Some days I say to myself "the world should just be happy that I got out of bed, even if I didn't get dressed or do anything else all day."
(((HUS)))

Hi LR2014 :)
When we hit the five million mark
lets all party and do the HAPPY DANCE:D

Hi Jess :)
WAY TO GO!!! for making that DDS Appointment! :D

HI EVERYBODY ELSE! :D
Hope you are all well and doing fine. (((hugs)))

Dreading that trip into Reno tomorrow.
The drive to Reno is not bad. 70mph speed limits, wild horses grazing on the hillsides, beautiful high Sierra desert landscape to admire.
But the traffic in Reno is terrible and the streets are icky and there are too many people all running around in a hurry to get where ever.
Frazzles my nerves, oh well.

TTYL :)

Got a therapy appointment today. Made a dentist appointment for next week which is kind of a big deal for me. I'm a scaredy cat. But my husband went yesterday and forgot a form he needed and I brought it to him. While I was there I felt like if I didn't do it right then I would put it off for who knows how long. So thanks, husband :)

Not sure what I'll work on tonight. Made some progress in my closet yesterday, so that's good.

HI :)

Internet was not working this morning. :(
So I washed some dishes, one load of laundry, got cats taken care of.
Made myself some bean salad with 4 different types of beans, celery, scallions & dill pickles, vinegar and oil & fresh cracked black pepper.
Won't be ready to eat till tomorrow since it has to marinate.
Then the nurse came by.
The winds have died down to a brisk breeze but it is cold, snow even at times.
Tomorrow the physical therapist comes by in the morning then Twinkles (the cat) has an appointment with the veterinarian in the afternoon.
Friday I have to make that 150+ mile round trip to Reno for his vascular surgeon's check up.
Right now I am just sitting and getting sleepy.
Feeling better today but still letting things go that don't absolutely have to be done.

So WONDERFUL to see all your posts! :D
(((HUGS)))

DIANE!! Hi! So good to see you! I am really proud of you for starting to get yourself back to where you want to be! I know I definitely have times where I fall off track but I think picking back up is much more important than that off-track blip. I'm so happy you're back!

Morning routine is really working for me. Because of my OCD I'm trying not to make this about the order I do the routine or the exact specifics of everything I do. I'm trying to set myself up for continued success and I know I'll take it badly if I get too rigid with it and then do it "wrong" one day or skip it entirely. The point is that I'm taking some time in the morning to take care of myself and get the ball rolling on a positive day.

Today's tasks are: Still trying to get the right drapes, begin some work on master bedroom closet.

So good to hear from you, Diane! As you'll see if you get the chance to do much catch-up reading on here, we've really missed you!

Tatoulia, you said, "I do so much better when I'm posting." Posting regularly really, really helped me during the past year. If it helped me so much, you'd think I'd get back into the habit of it. Maybe I will.

Tillie, I'm sorry that you're sick. I'm glad that you're planning to take care of yourself, though. Hope you feel better soon.

Jess, nice that you're making so much progress with reclaiming your space. Great about the routines!

Hi to Roxie, Dave, bitsy, and the rest of our crew!

Hey, I see that we're nearing the 5 million "hits" mark for this website. Wow. Seems like just yesterday that it was four million.

Love you, Diane! Just the way you are!

Thanks Tillie, I have missed you sooooooo much, your voice is not in my head as much, darn, so could you give me a refresher? "clean up mess immediately" still in there. After 2 years, I started to think it is a permanent problem and my life will never be better---just have to believe I can keep improving. Tillie, so sorry you have so much to do right now, so happy you have the keys to a running vehicle now, you deserve it. I do hope he appreciates you now.
I have two dogs right now that do not enjoy each other, so that is my excuse to not clean. Since they do not wash dishes or get on counter, guess I could at least do that today. Haven't showered in a week, yep, have stopped taking care of myself. Gained weight. Still working most Thursday, stressful, asked friend to fill in for me a few times, she said no. I told her 5 in a row is too much for me, especially with no breaks to eat. Takes me a day or 3 to recover, will be 67 this year, and it is just too stressful. Back to basics, will cook some good food and do dishes now. Did fill vitamin container for a week, stopped taking vitamins and calcium for over 2 months, ate junk, wonder why I feel like crap----stress, bad food, no exercise---have to make some changes and now is the time. How can I do so well for so long then go back to being so negative. Tomorrow you will hear from a happier person.

DIANE!!!!!!!
((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))
Missed you SOOOOOOOO much! :D

Hi Jess :)
Hope you have/had GREAT success choosing the perfect window covering.
WTG! sticking to your morning routine! :D

Hello all. I have not been online much lately so today I skimmed over most of the posts to catch up on your life.
I have been doing my OCD thing in the yard and let the house go, so have been too embarrassed to post.
Today it is so windy have to stay in and at least do some basics. Last month I posted I have started to accept I am a mess and just forget cleaning, well messy has worn out its welcome. I know I cannot make progress without your support so am hopeful you will welcome me back.
Heartwarming to see familiar faces today!! Hugs all around

Hello hello :)

Tillie, sorry to hear you aren't feeling well but I like your rest and pamper plan!

I bought drapes for the kitchen, well actually I accidentally bought a single drape lol, but I am not a fan so I'm going to exchange it for something less sheer. Hard to tell in the package. But I got the ball rolling at least.

This morning I stuck to the routine. Breakfast, clean up breakfast and kitchen, make beds, get myself ready :) Took the pup for a hike. Now he's good and tired so I can go run some errands.

My tasks are to take care of the drapes, pick up a few groceries, get new lightbulbs for the outdoor light fixtures.

Have a great day, everyone!

Hello Everybody :)

Hi LR2014 :)
Thank you.
Must be getting hot in your area by now.
Hoping you are scheduling in some plans for relaxing afternoon activities into your busy days. :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
Happy the swelling is better, sorry for the tummy ache. (((hugs)))
So lovely to sleep with the windows open! :D

Wind started raging here yesterday and continued non-stop all night.
Still blowing strong this morning too.
To have raging winds 24/7 is rather common here in the Spring.
Finally had to admit to myself this morning that I am not just run down but that I am sick.
Fortunately, only one clinic visit scheduled for today, locally, for him.
Laundry is all caught up.
No reason to dust with this wind blowing bucketsful of sand around.
Need to wash some dishes and do cat related tasks.
Dishes can wait till I feel better.
I'm surprised it took me this long to get sick after spending hours and days in emergency rooms, clinics, hospitals, labs and doctor waiting rooms since the 11th of March.
LOL :D
My plan now is to rest, take naps, drink plenty of fluids and pamper myself. ;)

I do so much better when I'm posting. Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. Face swelling much improved. Stomach really bad from meds. Tillie, I'm sorry about your headache--to go to sleep with one and wake up with one is misery.

Going to get garbage together and out now. If I wait til morning I'll miss the truck. Finally some beautiful weather the last few days--snowy winter a distant memory. Slept with windows open last two nights.