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Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : What are you doing today
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What are you doing today
   

Diane
Posted: 20 October 2014 - 04:36 PM
Tat, thanks for sharing your moms story, sorry she had to be put through that humiliation. Thank goodness you arrived with love and warm food. Reading her story, touched me on many levels, including the fact that it showed you really understand how painful a "joke" can be coming from a mean spirited person. Especially in front of other people. Thank you Tat for your continued kindness to your mom, yourself and me and many others. I will go for lobster with you this year instead of moms "friend" big mouth!!!!! Amazing how your timing was perfect for your mom and me, you are a blessing to many.
So happy you are available to me and all on this site. You are kind, stable, consistent and good hearted, means a lot.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 20 October 2014 - 11:29 AM
That is very disappointing, Diane. A couple of weeks ago my mother (who turns 85 this week and is very frail) had one of the workers at her assisted living place say something mean to her. She walked into the dining room and headed over to the only two-person table (my mother does not like sitting at the bigger tables and in truth, is happiest eating alone). As she headed over there, one of the dining room workers said loudly, I am not setting that table just for you... I do enough for you. My mother left in tears, and went upstairs. I didn't know about any of that when I stopped by to drop off some homemade food for her. I got upstairs and sat her down, gave her the food (still warm from the oven) and poured her a glass of water. Perfect timing. But here's the awful part, when she went down for dinner, someone who she had always considered a friend, started teasing her loudly and the whole dining room started laughing at her. Now this "friend" is someone who I take out to lobster dinners on my mother's birthday each year. I have also taken her to the movies. My mother was completely devastated and kept asking her to please stop but instead the friend kept it up. Mind you, they weren't at the same table so everyone could hear, and the more laughs she got, the louder she got.

I hate mean people. Diane, I don't participate in chat but I am available for you anytime. I think we have a good group here. Thank goodness LR was there to reassure you. And Mel, you are a lovely, thoughtful addition. I am keeping my fingers crossed with the plumber. And the boyfriend sounds lovely. Keep up the good work, everyone. Diane, hold your head up high. You are valuable, productive and wonderful.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 20 October 2014 - 11:29 AM
That is very disappointing, Diane. A couple of weeks ago my mother (who turns 85 this week and is very frail) had one of the workers at her assisted living place say something mean to her. She walked into the dining room and headed over to the only two-person table (my mother does not like sitting at the bigger tables and in truth, is happiest eating alone). As she headed over there, one of the dining room workers said loudly, I am not setting that table just for you... I do enough for you. My mother left in tears, and went upstairs. I didn't know about any of that when I stopped by to drop off some homemade food for her. I got upstairs and sat her down, gave her the food (still warm from the oven) and poured her a glass of water. Perfect timing. But here's the awful part, when she went down for dinner, someone who she had always considered a friend, started teasing her loudly and the whole dining room started laughing at her. Now this "friend" is someone who I take out to lobster dinners on my mother's birthday each year. I have also taken her to the movies. My mother was completely devastated and kept asking her to please stop but instead the friend kept it up. Mind you, they weren't at the same table so everyone could hear, and the more laughs she got, the louder she got.

I hate mean people. Diane, I don't participate in chat but I am available for you anytime. I think we have a good group here. Thank goodness LR was there to reassure you. And Mel, you are a lovely, thoughtful addition. I am keeping my fingers crossed with the plumber. And the boyfriend sounds lovely. Keep up the good work, everyone. Diane, hold your head up high. You are valuable, productive and wonderful.
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Diane
Posted: 20 October 2014 - 09:05 AM
Tat and Mel, thanks for your kind words and understanding about working with lots of people, and the feeling of hopelessness.

Last night chat was disappointing. Appears newer people enjoy picking on me, from an event where one of them kept interrupting me a month ago and I finally said shut up. During my 15 minutes she kept talking about her self, and distracting me from working on my goals for the week. After I said shut up, she said was going to walk her dog to keep poking, instead of just being polite and go walk her dog. Last night it was said, "you are not allowed to lose it, unless you are Diane". I was hurt and sad. Then when I apologized on message board, she said "that was big of you" to continue being mean and controlling. Instead of working on their hoards, appears they just want a mean girls social club. Focusing on problems other than working on their hoards. It is no longer a safe place for me. LR I appreciated your suggestion that we not pick on each other.

I would like a separate chat time for people that have been on this site for over a year, old timers chat. There we could work on maintenance and support each other in continuing to improve. We could talk about long term challenges and give ideas to each other on organizing and simplifying.
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Mel99
Posted: 19 October 2014 - 10:44 PM
Good evening everyone,

Tillie, so good to hear that your trip was safe, productive and even lovely! hooray!

Diane, I think many or maybe even most of us can understand that overwhelmed, why keep trying feeling. I'm glad that a good night's rest has helped you feel better. Work in the yard is important this time of year (I too have a ton of vines! I was thinking about dressing up as Poison Ivy for Halloween and using the real vines as part of my costume :))

It's tough dealing with the public. At a previous job I dealt extensively with the public and it was very tiring and difficult for me. And some people just seem to be looking for something to pick a fight about. A colleague of mine recently got a call from an angry person who brought her to tears (and the thing he was calling her about was something that had nothing to do with our company, he just wouldn't believe her when she kept trying to explain it). I don't understand why people feel like it's OK to be so horrible to someone else, especially someone who is trying to help them. I generally only have to deal with my in-house colleagues at my current job, but I'm working on a big project that requires me to talk to a lot of external people, which has been really hard for me. I really hate talking on the phone. Most of the people I've talked to have been really nice, but I absolutely dread picking up the phone to make a call (and answering incoming calls).

Tatoulia, it's nice having a place to store something (and bonus points that it can be at your brother's house instead of yours). Are things at your mom's actually worse or just look worse because you're pulling more stuff out and sorting through it? This is definitely a challenge for me. In order to sort through closets/under bed/etc, i have to pull it all out - which then leads me to feeling overwhelmed because it feels like there's just SO MUCH stuff. Also very good of you to help out your disabled family member.

I was away for the weekend, I did a 5k fundraiser walk on Saturday and it went well. Got home late tonight so I didn't do much except sort through my 'single sock' drawer - when I do laundry and I have one sock but not it's mate, I put it in this drawer, and every few weeks I sort through it and pair up the socks that have both made it to the drawer.

I'm feeling a little (OK, a lot) panicked about the plumber visit on Wednesday. It's a hard deadline and I absolutely must get the kitchen, utility room and bathroom as clean as possible before they come out (and of course they have to pass through the living room and dining room to go between the bathroom and kitchen. They've already called twice to try to move up the date. Both times were last week when I was at work so I had an excuse to not have them come out, but I had told them I was available both Monday and Wednesday this week if they needed to change the day so I'm a little afraid they're going to call me tomorrow and ask if they can come out that day. Part of me wants to do some work in some of the other rooms because I feel like I'm close to a breakthrough in the second bedroom, but I know I really need to focus especially on the kitchen and utility rooms (and the fact that I don't want to focus on them probably tells you how much more work needs to be done there :(). My garbage and recycling bins are on wheels so I'm going to wheel them onto the porch tomorrow so I don't have to carry anything out to the garage as I make progress. I'm going to try to get up at my usual time so I can start work first thing in the morning so if they do call and want to move up the visit to that afternoon I'll at least have a few hours to make progress.

I also have a leak in the roof so I need to get up there and patch it. I'm guessing that's where the lingering moldy smell is coming from, and it's been raining a lot. If I can make really good progress on the kitchen/utility room/etc, then I can turn my focus to other stuff for a while. It's also getting chillier so I need to put plastic up on my windows and all that fall stuff.

I'm also seeing my counselor tomorrow, so that will be good. My boyfriend also wrote me a really sweet email that he wants me to feel loved and supported and never wants me to feel stressed or anxious because of him. I said I'll need some extra reassurance when he moves in but I think we'll be OK.

Feeling really frustrated about the mouse situation. I caught one more but that was a few days ago, and I found a previously cleaned drawer that now has a bunch of droppings in it, which makes me feel really exasperated. I thought I only had paper products in that drawer so I wasn't really worried about it, but some of them were from a pizza party and there were some of those little packets of cheese in the bag that I didn't realize were there. I'll do as much as I can and when my boyfriend's cats move in, that should help the situation.

Tomorrow is another day. Let's make it a good one!
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Tatoulia
Posted: 19 October 2014 - 09:33 PM
Made my roast, took a disabled family member grocery shopping and then swept his apt and changed his bed sheets. Made it to storage where I got my blanket out and I took my Thanksgiving dishes over to my brother 's house. We will likely have Thanksgiving at his house because my mother can't do the stairs at my house. My brother has plenty of cabinet space and told me I can use the cabinet above the fridge. So I will take my Christmas dishes there too.

Was very happy to be at storage and can definitely see it will be tough, but by no means impossible, to be out of the space for good. Just need to keep plugging away on it.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 19 October 2014 - 10:24 AM
Good morning everyone! Nice cool autumn day here. Good to read everyone's posts. Diane, I know that hopeless feeling and also find a decent night's rest and a nice meal make a world of difference! I too get weary from being "on" at work, where I am forced to suffer the fools gladly. I lost my cool last week and called a particularly negative, grumpy, surly person a bad name. I'm so sick of her. I need to better work on keeping my cool. I'm embarrassed and ashamed that I didn't just walk away. But, that was then and this is now. I remind myself I am but a mere mortal.

Tillie, what a beautiful trip! I'm glad it went well and that you saw so many wonderful things. Very nice to read about it! And thrilled that it was a lovely time for the two of you.

I hope everyone is doing well. Reading your progress helps to motivate me. My motivation level is low. I really need to find a way to move forward today! I've taken full advantage of my "time off for good behavior" and need to get back to doing things. Mom is resistant and her place looks worse than ever, which admittedly is my fault. I will bring her some food tonight (I'm making a roast) and will see if she has the strength to let me organize her front closet. I've told her that I won't take anything out of that closet, I will merely help her find some space.
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Diane
Posted: 19 October 2014 - 09:18 AM
Good morning, thought I should post early today to let you know I finally slept last night, just in case my post yesterday made you think I had given up on life. I know feelings of hopelessness and contempt pass.
Bitsy, I appreciated the site of the hoard house. My kitchen is full of dirty dishes and those photos made me realize it is time to really clean kitchen. Good it is 36 degrees outside, keeps me in to do dishes, hopefully.
Goals today: clean kitchen, make soup
Get papers and supplies ready for work this week
I realize it is hard for me to be around hundreds of strangers each week, being focused and cheerful each minute, and have to be kinder to myself for not being productive at home right now.
This is my last week of being this busy.
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Diane
Posted: 18 October 2014 - 08:31 PM
Tillie, sounds like a wonderful trip, thanks for describing what you saw on the way.
I worked in yard all day, moved more pretty rocks in a nice arrangement, all day and no work inside. Today I woke up at 5 am again, 5 and half hours of sleep is just not enough, and it really hit me today, felt crappy all day, even though it was beautiful and I was having fun with the rocks. Had to remember that I will feel good again, just not today. The thought crossed my mind, I understand why Robin Williams offed himself. When I feel bad and can not talk or act myself into feeling better, think, why go on if I try so hard and my emotions betray me. Hard to put those thoughts in print----- Thanks Tillie for saying it is ok to just goof off today. I raked lots of leaves from the vines that get bugs if I leave leaves on ground, I realized, I need to get rid of some of those vines, said same thing last spring, and here I am cleaning up after them. There are too many vines, vine hoarder apparently, time to let go of vegetation that does not bring me joy.
Did 2 loads of laundr;y and hung on line. had a salmon/kale salad, felt better after eating a healthy meal.
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Tillie
Posted: 18 October 2014 - 10:52 AM
Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Diane :)
Rest and relax this weekend.
Good time of year to finish up playing outside. Soon it will be too cold & wet for that.
YEA! that the people all drove safely in the rain! :D

The shopping excursion went very well. :D
On the trip to Carson City I saw the old ruins of the Pony express station.
Right beside the road I saw a beautiful, healthy herd of 9 Mustang (wild horses).
Once when we were stopped at a stop sign, right outside my passenger window, were 4 Doe standing waiting for us to move so that they could cross the road using the crosswalk.
If my window had been open I could have petted the lead Doe's nose without reaching far to do so.
When we got to the city he took us on a tour to see the trees all changing colors.
I got lots of great food at Grocery Outlet and am so happy to have a well stocked larder to see me through the Winter.
Locally, groceries are way too expensive to stock up on.
On the trip home I didn't see much because it was dark out.
Finally arrived back home at 8:45pm.
Put away the perishables and just set shelf stable items in on the pantry floor to be dealt with later today.
Bought all the ingredients to make a huge pot of extra special split pea soup. Planning on doing that sometime this week. :D

Everybody, try to have some fun play time this weekend! :D
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Diane
Posted: 17 October 2014 - 10:06 PM
How did it go Tillie? That is a long trip for a Friday eve.
Rained today while I was taking supplies to car and poured while driving to clinic. I was so grateful cars were driving at a reasonable speed and no wrecks that I saw. So happy I do not work this weekend.
Have not posted because have not been doing any house work. I continued to work in yard, not a priority but good to calm my nerves this week. Next week will be last busy work week. Will be nice to start making progress in here again. Just tired.
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Tillie
Posted: 17 October 2014 - 10:26 AM
Good Morning...

Hi Tatoulia :)

Hi Dave :)

Hi Mel :)

Hi LR2014 :)

Hi Everybody! :)

OK, I am just going to pretend that yesterday never happened.
One of those days where things start off bad & then just keep escalating.
..................................................
Here is "his" plan...
Tonight when he gets off work we are going to take his "new" used car to Carson City to grocery shop.
Grocery outlet really does have much better prices than the one & only grocery store here.
This will be a round trip of over 150 miles.
I have made contingency plans with my neighbor to come rescue me, should I need it. :D
Also, I have packed a bag of survival supplies, should I need it. :D

Everybody, make this a GREAT Friday and stay safe. :)
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LR2014
Posted: 16 October 2014 - 09:39 AM
My tentative plan for the day is to find a company (shouldn't be hard to do) that will buy an old vehicle that I own for scrap metal and will haul it off for me. There is a tree growing near that vehicle, but the tree isn't growing up through it . . . yet!

Bitsy, I was happy to see that you and your son are able to be back home! Hugs!

Wishing everyone a good day! Hugs to all.
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Mel99
Posted: 16 October 2014 - 12:02 AM
Hi all,

Dave, you made a lot of really good points. I really hope that I can sincerely make the change to not be chained to possessions. The reason I have my grandmother's things is because she lived here before I did. My mom was her only child and when she died my mom was heartbroken and couldn't bring herself to go through the stuff. I think you're absolutely right that in a couple years i'll look back and be able to see which choices were good and bad.

Tillie, I hope you have a safe trip to the grocery shop this weekend. Glad you've been taking it easy this week.

Bitsy, congratulations on getting your taxes filed! Hooray!

Tatoulia, hope all is well with you!

As I posted earlier, I called and scheduled the visit from the plumber for next Wednesday. I'm hopeful and nervous and scared and excited all at once. I admit, I'm thrilled at the thought that i'll FINALLY be able to shower at home again. Now I'm going to focus for the next week on getting the kitchen and utility room as clean as possible. I've already cleaned up the sink and most of the counters, I still have more to do especially in the utility room (other messes can be hidden behind doors and whatnot).

I haven't gotten much done today but I can work on more tomorrow. I did drop off the two bags of clothing at the donation place today. It was garbage pickup day so now I have empty garbage and recycling bins to fill up again. I'm halfway through the month and still so much to do before November arrives. All I can do is keep plugging away at it.

Have a great Thursday everyone! The weekend is just around the corner :)
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Tatoulia
Posted: 15 October 2014 - 10:57 PM
I have my fingers crossed for you, Mel. Keep up the good work. I especially appreciated Dave's sentiment that two years from now you'll find you made some good choices and some bad choices. Dave, that felt really freeing. Thank you for that.

Tillie, honestly you are so good natured. Good luck on your trip. Bitsy, keep up the good work. I know it's really tough right now. At least you won't have the burden of worrying about your taxes--glad they are filed.

Hello and best wishes to everyone, new and familiar alike.
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Tillie
Posted: 15 October 2014 - 06:24 PM
Thanks Dave :)

I am always trying to find the humor in my life situations.
And really, it is much better when you can laugh at the absurdities of the situations rather then cry.

P.S. I always bring along a big empty ice chest on shopping excursions. :)
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Dave
Posted: 15 October 2014 - 03:29 PM
I was out in back cutting sunflowers and just came in to offer an apology. Thanks for taking it in good humor, that was a smart alec remark which is probably not too useful to you right now. It has to be really stressful seeing the family money spent that way. Also, with the grocery store being the point of the trip, wondering whether you can buy the cold things you need and get them home safely. Wish things were working better for you.
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Tillie
Posted: 15 October 2014 - 03:22 PM
LOL :D Dave
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Dave
Posted: 15 October 2014 - 02:41 PM
Maybe Death Valley Scotty will be out of area, running into Carson City too and able to provide assistance if needed! :)
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bitsy
Posted: 15 October 2014 - 02:08 PM
I finally finished my 2013 taxes and e-filed. Just as I thought, my income is so low I don't owe any taxes and will not be getting any refund but I still have to file because I have divided, capital gain, and interest income (1099, 1099-DIV, and 1099-B) not fun. I always manage to lose one form I need between when they come and when I start to file in April.

We are going to Laundromat in a while. I miss having a washer at home. have to drag laundry there and back and just wait while its washing. but then it's done for a week or so.
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Tillie
Posted: 15 October 2014 - 12:45 PM
Good Morning Everybody! :)

Hi Mel :)
WAY TO GO!!! for scheduling the plumber.
Wishing you good luck that they aren't a jerk.

The wind has been raging here since yesterday afternoon.
Extremely high fire danger weather.
Not to mention all the blowing dust and allergens. :(
Anyways...
Earlier this week he bought another used car.
I looked at it. One headlight is not really attached. Seats are full of black fur (dog?)
Windshield has a crack running the whole length. And a lot of other issues that are easy to see with the naked eye.
He asked me if I wanted to go for a ride in it. I said "no".
He knows that I have been wanting to travel all the way into Carson City to grocery shop at Grocery Outlet.
He promised me that he will drive me there this weekend, in his "new" used car.
So, if I'm not back by Sunday 5:00pm you will know I am broken down, stranded beside the road somewhere in the Nevada desert. :P

Been taking it easy this week and enjoying watching movies and spending lots of time online, reading lots of stuff and watching videos. :D
Been doing little tasks like some gardening, decorating, home improvements, etc., whenever the mood strikes me.
Also been doing a LOT of thinking about some important things that I need to think about.

Keep on keeping on! :D
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Mel99
Posted: 15 October 2014 - 11:56 AM
Hopefully I didn't just post three times, having some technical difficulties. Just wanted to report that the plumber is coming next Wednesday! I'm excited and terrified. Hopefully they'll be nicer than the last plumber that came out.
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Dave
Posted: 15 October 2014 - 08:52 AM
Mel,

There is a life chained to possessions and there is a life free of being possessed by possessions. You are seeing that at an age where you can make that change and still enjoy that freedom in ways that a lot of people posting on this site cannot.

------------------------------------------

Mom, space is an important thing to have in your life too. There's a guy on a website that I watch that says his dining room table talks to him and says "I'm not your donkey. Get this c*** off me and get me some people and coffee cups!" (My half of the dining room table is covered by a rotating pile which currently is around 8" thick, so you can take that with however many grains of salt you wish.)

------------------------------------------

If you initially took your grandmother's things because no-one else would, then they are actually yours to dispose of as you see fit and if you have the time and inclination, you could review some of the boxes, make some judgement calls and take some of it to thrift stores.

2 years from now, you will look back and think "I made some good choices and some bad choices back then". The thing to keep in mind now is that you are doing a good job working to see the choices that you have and making decisions about them.
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Mel99
Posted: 14 October 2014 - 11:48 PM
Dave, you bring up a really good point. When I first found this site, I started looking through all of the different areas and topics and I felt overwhelmed at the massive amount of information and tried to read through as much as I could. Eventually I had to say 'that's it, I'm just going to post' because otherwise I'd still be reading now :)


Diane, it sounds like you've made so much progress! It's so nice that you were able to visit out in the yard. Congrats!

Sailor's Wife, welcome!

LR, congrats on making progress on your living room! I don't know what it is about being able to see more of the floor that feels so great! Keep up the good work!

Today was a less productive day for me. I got all my garbage and recycling out to the curb for tomorrow's pickup (garbage can is full, recycling bin could hold a little more) and brought two boxes of my grandma's stuff to my mom. Mom told me about a discussion she had with my sister that reminded me of how my house got to this point. She said that my sister has been nagging her to get rid of old books, and she insisted that she wanted to go through them first. Then she said she was upset and disappointed that if she donated them to the library, they would just end up selling it and someone would get it for .25 when she had paid $7 for it. She also talked about how she didn't want to get rid of any of my grandma's old stuff because it might be worth something and she didn't want to just give something valuable away.

I know my sister will be mad that I'm giving mom more stuff that's she's probably just going to end up storing, and I feel a little guilty, but then I think - why does that mean that I have to be the one to hold on to it? Why do I have to use my already-limited storage space to store this stuff? My sister is not in favor of my boyfriend in general (she refuses to even meet him, and we've been dating over a year now), and I know she's going to blame me moving all this stuff out of the house on him moving in. And actually, that's accurate. Had I never met him, I probably would still be living in a house with 2 1/2 foot piles throughout with little pathways to the places I needed to go. It's been difficult and hard work but I'm proud of what I've accomplished and I know I can make even more progress before the month is over.

Hope everyone has a great Hump Day!
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Tillie
Posted: 14 October 2014 - 08:03 PM
You are under no obligation to read all past posts.
Back-reading amnesty is granted to all.
Just start fresh from where you are at, at the time you get here. :)


Hi Dave WTG! :)
Sometimes we just need to move forward from where we are emotionally or mentally at the time. Feeling obligated to back read can easily discourage or overwhelm us from moving forward.
Plus, we are all here on a journey to change, make our lives better in some way, and we need to keep our focus on moving forward.
This not to discourage people from back reading.
But if you start to feel overwhelmed or guilty because you don't want to back read, you have AMNESTY. :)
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Dave
Posted: 14 October 2014 - 06:21 PM
Tillie,

Thank you for your wisdom. You have saved me from another hoarding situation.

I have been thinking about old posts. I have been seeing others posting about feeling a need to read old posts they have missed. I have been feeling guilty about not going back and reading old posts. Or coming and going and not reading everything. Or feeling stressed because I can see things have happened I know nothing about. And I have been thinking about your amnesty comment. My initial reaction when I saw it, was that's kind of silly or unnecessary. But...

I am now thinking that, given a certain frame of mind which many of us here can get into quite easily, that these old posts can become an information hoard of newspapers which present all the same mental issues a physical hoard of newspapers would present.

I am not saying that the old posts are unnecessary or that folks should not go back and read them. I am just saying that for me, the attitudes I have developed about them have turned them into another hoard in my life.

I am accepting your amnesty in order to free myself from those entrapping thoughts.

Thanks.
Dave
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bitsy
Posted: 14 October 2014 - 10:05 AM
Dave,
thank you for your suggestion. I miss Roxie's posts.
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Dave
Posted: 14 October 2014 - 10:01 AM
I was just making another run through the gratitude thread looking at all the posts. It is very uplifting to read all those comments!
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Dave
Posted: 14 October 2014 - 09:49 AM
How about an honor Roxie week?

Make a post in the Gratitude thread each day for the rest of the week.

Doesn't have to be long, complicated, fearsome or more than one thing.

Just a post about something that is bringing you pleasure or joy that day.

If you can't think of something to write, just scroll through a few older pages of the gratitude thread, looking for the reddish color posts and let the spirit behind them resonate within and draw something out.
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LR2014
Posted: 14 October 2014 - 09:03 AM
Good morning, everyone! Glad to "see" you again, Sailor's Wife, and I'm glad that you're posting on the message board! Welcome!

As has been usual for me lately, I am behind on reading posts for this past week. I'm looking forward to catching up on that.

I've been spending a lot of time the past few days working on a certain section of my living room that hasn't been "attacked" in some time . . . longer than I want to admit. I'm happy to see more floor there and to get a lot of items into the trash. Yea!

Hugs to everybody.
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Sailor's Wife
Posted: 14 October 2014 - 03:34 AM
Hi, I'm new here! I'm looking forward to getting to know you all, and to getting motivated to sort out all my clutter! x
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Mel99
Posted: 13 October 2014 - 08:56 PM
Hi all,

Tillie, sounds wonderful to be able to be done and relax :) I hope you have a nice relaxing week!

Tatoulia, congrats on the progress with your mom, not only in getting some stuff out of there but also in seeing what she wants/needs. Good luck with your own stuff in storage!

I decided to try to make up for my inactivity over the weekend. I sorted through a lot of clothes and filled two bags completely to be donated. I also picked up a couple bags of garbage and took one bag of it out to the garage. I?m going to try to take the rest of it out before bed. I had a drawer full of nail polish and makeup, so I went through and threw out the old icky stuff and the stuff i don't use, completely emptied the drawer, wiped it down, and put the nail polish and other makeup that I will be keeping in there. I think I've sorted through 80% of the clothes in the second bedroom, so hopefully I can finish with that stuff and work on the rest of the stuff that's in there. I still have so much more to do but every little bit that I get done is a little bit less that I need to worry about later. That's becoming my mantra. :)

I hope this is a great week for all of us!
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Diane
Posted: 13 October 2014 - 08:42 PM
Hello Tat, Mel and Tillie. I worked lots of hours on yard this weekend. So this morning, got up and washed dishes, cleaned bathroom, picked up clutter before Tanner got here. I was so anxious I felt sick worrying about having a visitor. Once Tanner and his mom got here, I felt ok. We sat in my new part of the yard for an hour and half, she went on and on about how great it is, and Tanner loved his new digs. Today I feel physically exhausted so after she left, I just sat in my rocks and picked out rocks for art project. Guilt crept in, then I said take a break, just have fun. Really enjoyed today, although tired. Tomorrow the weather changes to rain and much cooler so I really took advantage of todays good weather. Have not been sleeping enough hours, so this morning made healthy soup for the week, since it helps me sleep when I eat better. How soon I forget. So grateful my yard is huge and most areas are great now. Really fun visiting with friend in yard today. Will be so nice when I can say the same about all living space. I plan to really make progress this winter. Nice chatting last night Tillie, thanks.
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Tillie
Posted: 13 October 2014 - 11:27 AM
Good Morning Everyone :)

Hi Mel :)
Happy the meeting with the counselor went ok.
Darn, those sneaky mice you have there! :(
Make those calls and get the plumber in for sure.
Freaking out when there are too many things to attend to and not enough time to get to everything is hard and understandable.
Best thing I found to do is to make a list of only 5 or 6 of the most important things to get done & work hard to accomplish them.
Good luck :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
WAY TO GO!!! on all you have been getting done.
The way you have been working with your Mom is fantastic.
Keep up this GREAT job you are doing. :D

Yesterday I just sorta hung around here.
Doing nothing but being here hanging out with the cats.
Was nice. :)
Today I will be cleaning the house, the usual weekly stuff.
Sweep floors & porches.
Clean bathroom.
Wipe off door knobs, light switches, remotes, telephone, etc.
Wash floors & vacuum carpet.
Dust a bit.
Kitchen is still clean from yesterday's cleaning of it.
Laundry is all caught up since Saturday.
Today's housework will take two hours to complete then I will have the rest of this week to do as I please, with the usual daily tidying up that only takes a few minutes.
Wishing you all the same freedom someday soon. (((hugs)))
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Tatoulia
Posted: 13 October 2014 - 11:10 AM
Good morning everyone! I have to read your posts in more detail. For now, let me say Congratulations Bitsy! I am relieved to hear that your son is home! You've made great progress! Keep it up! I hope you can find a way inside soon.

Diane, good luck on the job! And congratulations on your progress. I miss our back and forth and will make more time for myself so I can take inspiration from you and everyone else.

Dear Tillie--it is a beautiful autumn day here in the northeast. I have my cat asleep next to me. I just put a casserole in the oven, which I will deliver in a little while.

Mel. great work! I can hear you are getting a little overwhelmed by the time crunch. Do your best. Breathe. Eat. Do your best!

Hello to everyone else--I will read posts later today.

As for me, worked at mom's yesterday. Tough going. Took out two boxes of books, one bookshelf, a bag of clothes and a miscellaneous item. She refuses to get rid of approx 300 magazines. She sees her problem as not enough space, rather than too much stuff. That was an eye opener and now that I know that, I can gear our conversations toward making space rather than getting rid of stuff.

Going to storage today to work on my own problems.
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Mel99
Posted: 12 October 2014 - 11:01 PM
Hi everyone, happy Sunday! Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Bitsy, so glad that your son has the space he needs, I hope you're able to make space to sleep inside before it get too cold out!

Dave, that sounds nice! I often wish I had something to warm my hands with, especially when I'm typing at my computer in the winter :)

Diane, I hope you got to go take a look at the leaves. And even if you didn't fill your garbage to the brim, you did get some stuff out there, right? I keep reminding myself, every little bit that I get out is one more thing i don't need to deal with again. Good luck on the potential new job!

Tillie, what did you end up deciding to do?

I'm feeling a little guilty because I have done no work on the house since Friday morning (but I was at my boyfriend's all weekend until this evening when i met up with my family for dinner) and I'm too tired to do anything tonight. I brought over two boxes of stuff to my mom on Friday morning but she didn't sort through anything until I sat with her. Both were boxes that I hadn't opened but had found in one of the storage areas, and they turned out to be glassware. Mom put all of it into her china cabinet. I brought one bag of clothing out for donation and dropped it off today.

I have asthma and the work that I did do the past week or so has me really wheezy. I bought a mask I can wear while I do my work around the house so hopefully I can use that tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday for a checkup so I guess I need to fill her in on what's going on so she understands why I'm so wheezy (and so she doesn't decide to add on a medication!).

My meeting with the counselor was OK. She was unfazed about my hoarding (from what she told me it sounds like she has at least a few other clients who are hoarders) and she said that it sounds like I have a plan and that's good. I'm seeing her again on the 20th to check in and talk about my progress. She said I have a lot of good strengths, which was nice. I feel like... I don't really know what I want to get out of it/what I really expect to get out of it. I went to counseling when I was in college and I found it very helpful.

I just realized we're rapidly approaching the halfway point of the month and I'm feeling a little freaked out because I still have so much work to do. I came back after being gone for the weekend to find more evidence of mice but still-empty traps, which is extremely frustrating. I'm really busy at work this month too, and I'm covering for someone else nearly every day (I'm covering for 2 different people the last week of the month, in fact), so I can't even just take a week off and try to plow through it. I'm off work the 20th, 21st and 22nd, but the 21st I'm taking my dad to a doctor appointment about an hour away, which really turns into an all-day thing, so I really only have the 20th and 22nd. I need to schedule the cable install and the plumber on those days as well so I really need to call and schedule something and get the relevant areas as cleared out as possible. I probably need to give myself a deadline. It would be awful if I finally managed to call and they had no availability on those days.

Tomorrow is a new day. Hope it's a great one everyone!
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Tillie
Posted: 12 October 2014 - 10:30 AM
Hello

Been up since before 6:00am.
Reading the latest Ebola updates.
Drinking my chai masala (spiced tea).
Beautiful Autumn morning here today. Many leaves have fallen & covered my garden over night.
Finally discovered a canned cat food that all five of the cats really like. Friskies "Tasty Treasures".
So many things to decide on today. Do I want to do any chores? Do beading? Maybe start making the dress that I just bought four yards of beautiful fabric for?
Maybe I will just hang out in the garden and enjoy it. :)

TTYL :)
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Tillie
Posted: 11 October 2014 - 10:51 AM
Good Morning :)

Hi Bitsy :)
WAY TO GO!!! For all you have accomplished.
Very happy your son has a nice space to recover in.
Please try your hardest to make a space in the house for you to sleep. Very sad thinking of you having to sleep in the car.

Hi Diane :)
Great to hear your work week went well. :D
WAY TO GO!!! getting caught up on the daily maintenance.
YEA!!! for relaxing and having some fun by painting.
Good luck getting that new job. :)

It's overcast here today but supposed to get up to 80 degrees. Probably will be muggy & hot.
Have my list all made out for the grocery store.
Bought some pears a few weeks ago and they are still too rock hard to eat yet.

Everybody, make this a GREAT Saturday. :D
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Diane
Posted: 10 October 2014 - 09:58 PM
hello, good to read your posts
Work was good this week
Finally got dishes caught up
Painted some boards a pretty blue
Started painting ceiling in walkway which has never been painted so really swallows up the paint. Once neck was sore from looking up, took a break then worked on a neglected part of yard. Vacuumed living room.
Still have a few raspberries, good to read about your flowers tillie. Dave our sox could warm a village. Tomorrow I plan to drive to Bend and look at the colored leaves, saw on the news how beautiful leaves are now.
Applied for a job that is 3 days a month year round. Had to go back this morning at 7:30 to meet the owner. Got home from work yesterday at 7:30pm so felt tired today, still got a lot done. Was not able to fill garbage to brim for pickup today, this week, so will work harder at finding junk around here this week.
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bitsy
Posted: 10 October 2014 - 01:47 PM
Dave,
yet another great re-use job!

we are finally back from the extended stay motel. my son has a nice clean space to sleep and take care of his colostomy and surgical wound.some improvement in kitchen and front room.I have not made a space for me to sleep in the house so will be sleeping in the car again. I am not looking forward to winter!we did have about 15 garbage bags piled up in the yard but we got another large trash can (holds 5 or 6 garbage bags)and cost $7 a week more for it to be picked up. I have to concentrate on bills and paperwork this weekend and then work on the shed where most of my "current" clothes are. the end of this month we will have company from Illinois. rich relative that helps us out sometimes.he can be difficult. and requires a lot of attention.It will truly be winter by the time he leaves so don't know what if anything will happen with the NE metro house until spring.
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Tillie
Posted: 10 October 2014 - 12:30 PM
Good morning everybody. :)

Hi Dave :)
LOL, I remember that you do love matching up and saving socks & gloves.
WAY TO GO!!!
Now just don't misplace them before you need to use them. ;)

Hi Mel :)
YEA!!! for straightening out those drawers!
Good luck & best wishes for your meeting with the counselor.
Great idea not overwhelming your mom by bringing over too many boxes for her to sort through.

Hi LR2014 :)
WAY TO GO!!!! for finishing up that "To-Do" list! :D
You are under no obligation to read all past posts.
Back-reading amnesty is granted to all.
Just start fresh from where you are at, at the time you get here. :)

Hi Tatoulia :)

Really glad that I have taken these last few days off from life.
Needed the rest and solitude to get myself better centered to deal with current events in my life and two very depressing anniversaries.
Plus, I was extremely exhausted by all that "Spring" cleaning I just did. :D
The chrysanthemum plants my neighbor gave me are just gorgeous this year. Big & bushy with hundreds of blooms & buds out there in my garden.
Wish I wasn't so extremely allergic to them as I am. lol :D
Had a small owl in the yard last night making a strange squawking sound, figured it was just calling to it's friend as they hunted for food.
Still have a few honeysuckle and morning glory blooms.
Trees are all starting to lose their leaves. The ash trees are all vibrant yellow.
Wonderful time of year for a leisurely drive through the country to enjoy all the fall foliage.

So, what plans do you all have for the weekend?
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dave
Posted: 10 October 2014 - 11:24 AM
Oh-Boy! Socks!! I bought a pair of smartwool socks at a thrift store last year. They turned out to have holes in the toes but I couldn't bring myself to throw them away so they were in a box by the back door for months and months. I have now repurposed them for this winter. I cut thumb holes by the heels and cut the ends off. I can now use them as hand warmers in the house this winter. Another pair of socks-SAVED!
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Mel99
Posted: 10 October 2014 - 12:20 AM
HI everyone, thanks for all the kind comments. I was having a rough night last night. I love coming here and reading about what everyone is doing/has done/has planned. Way to go everyone on all the stuff we've gotten done this week!

As it turned out, my boyfriend had to work very late today and was really tired so he ended up going home instead of coming here anyway. I was a little disappointed to miss out on time with him, but then I realized it gave me some extra cleaning time. I decided to tackle something that I thought would be doable - cleaning out one drawer - I plan on using this drawer to store the teeshirts that I will be keeping (right now I'm hanging up all the clothing that I'm keeping in the closet, and I'm running out of room because of all the teeshirts. This will also give me an extra step to really ask if i REALLY want to keep this stuff.

I was pretty sure this drawer was full of stuff that needed to be shredded and that it was completely full, so I got ready for a difficult job... but it turned out that under the pile of papers to be shredded were a few large objects taking up most of the space, so it was a much easier cleanup than I had anticipated.

Then I cleaned out three small drawers and sorted through my tights (threw out ones with runs or that were all stretched out) and put away the ones I'm keeping. I sorted through two armloads of clothes and I filled a donation bag to go. I got some of my laundry ready to go for tomorrow. I read through some of the suggested blog (thank you Dave!) and now I'm getting ready for bed.

In the morning I'm hoping to put a few things in my car to take to my parents house. My mom wants to go through my grandma's things to see if there's anything she wants to keep so I'm hopeful if I just bring over one or two boxes at a time, it won't be too overwhelming and mom can just sort through them. I'll have a shorter day at work and in the afternoon I have my first appointment with my new counselor. On the paperwork she asked me to bring, there was a place to fill out any issues that you are facing, and one of the ones I listed was hoarding so I couldn't chicken out and not talk about it.

You are all a great support system and you really help motivate me to keep working on this and get stuff done. Thank you! If I don't post again before Sunday, I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
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Dave
Posted: 09 October 2014 - 07:01 PM
Re lumberjack skills:
You are far more generous than I deserve. There was the odd bush, fence vine or fully decayed 3" stump; but the lion's share of the work was using my sharpshooter (sharpened spade) and little hand axe on Kentucky Coffee Tree shoots. You will not see me in a picture with one of those big 2 handled saws standing next to an old growth redwood stump with a diameter large enough to dwarf a Model T. :)
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Tillie
Posted: 09 October 2014 - 06:06 PM
Hey Dave,
Thanks for the laughs. :D
WAY TO GO!!! for your lumberjack skills!
It will be very interesting to see how these vehicles here are salvaged from their jungle prisons.
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dave
Posted: 09 October 2014 - 02:08 PM
Hi Tillie,
Thank you for the kind words. Just stopped by and looked a few posts. I was thinking about you Tues evening. I was helping a family member with some yard cleanup. One of the items was a bush growing on a fence which I cut back, maybe more severely than they would have liked. The bush was growing over the fence and onto a vehicle their neighbor had parked right next to the fence. One branch of the bush had gone through the wire fence, under the wheel well, into the engine compartment and was coming out betweeen the hood and fender. Since the vehicle was right next to the fence, I was able to avoid the guardian dog and cut the branch above and below, but there is still a portion in the engine compartment. It wasn't large enough yet to have done any serious damage.
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Dave
Posted: 09 October 2014 - 07:42 AM
Mel
Brooks Palmer's Oct 8 blog post might be a helpful encouragement to you.
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LR2014
Posted: 09 October 2014 - 06:28 AM
Good morning, everyone. A few days ago I posted some goals for that day (something I hadn't done in a while). When I reread my posted goals the next morning, I saw that I'd done all of them except for one: I had not added more things to my gratitude list. I need to subtract paper clutter, to subtract office supplies, and to subtract a lot of other things from my life. If there is anything that is good to "hoard," however, it is gratitude. I hope to keep that idea in mind the next several days.

Way to go, Jar Lady! Thirty-three items out the door to donation! Yea for you!! Tillie, thanks as always for encouraging us. Tatoulia, thank you, too, for all the encouragement you are giving all of us; keep me posted on TDC (The Dreaded Closet).

Mel99, I relate to what you were saying about having a hard time seeing the dent. I can see it (the dent) in some of my rooms, but there are others where I'm not seeing the dent yet. But I was noting just yesterday that many things here that in the past would have been full of "stuff" aren't . . . I have gotten a lot of clutter out of "hidden" and out-of-the-way places. My pantry is very uncluttered. I have drawers and cabinets that are empty (which I now could be using again) or which have been cleared out to a great extent. My little patio storage shed, which had been full of stuff dating back to who-knows-when, now has relatively little "stuff" in it. Yea!! Whether your boyfriend makes a positive comment or not, try to keep in mind the reality that you have done a lot. You know the truth (and so do we)! Keep up the great work!

I just noticed that I am still really behind on reading posts. I will try to get caught up when I can on some of the posts from a few days ago that I haven't read yet. (I still have some from a few weeks ago that I haven't read yet!). Sandy, bitsy, Diane, Roxie, Dianne, and others: I am thinking about you and wishing you a great day! Hugs to everybody!
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LR2014
Posted: 09 October 2014 - 05:42 AM
Mel99, a couple of days ago you wrote, "I feel like I'm hogging this thread." I don't view your posts in that manner. I love that you're sharing regularly. It helps me when I read posts like yours. It is very helpful for me to see another person's ups and downs and to see (on a fairly regular basis) what that person is doing to clear out, clean up, and make a better life for himself/herself. It helps give me ideas, encouragement, even courage to deal with my own situation. Hmmm . . . I just now paid attention to the fact that the word "encouragement" contains the word "courage." It takes courage when we are making changes in long-time patterns of behaving, thinking, and feeling. Sharing our stories can be a way of helping to give to other people the courage needed to make those changes. So keep on sharing!
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Mel99
Posted: 09 October 2014 - 01:45 AM
Hi all, thanks for the updates and the support!

I'm feeling kind of sad and anxious tonight.

I feel like even though I've been working so hard on cleaning stuff up/recycling/donating/etc, it hasn't made a truly visible dent. To be fair, some of this is because I've cleaned out some boxes that were in closets, cleaned out some of the under the bed stuff, etc, so of course it's a lot harder to see those changes. My boyfriend is probably coming over after we go to the movies tomorrow night (tonight I guess since it's 1:30am, yikes) for the first time in several weeks and I'm afraid he's going to walk in and not see any difference at all. He has always been extremely kind and supportive and has never made a negative comment to me about my house. When I talk about worries i have about cleaning/rearranging/etc, he tells me that our home will be a reflection of both of us and we can work it out together. But the truth is, I really want to hear him say that he can see I've been working very hard and have made some major progress. He's not really attached to much of his stuff (I'm pretty sure that between our two small vehicles, we can probably transport everything he plans to bring in one trip other than the bed and one chair) so he can't really understand how difficult and stressful it is for me to throw away/recycle/donate bag after bag of stuff. It's not fair of me to expect him to just understand it either though. I have an appointment to see the counselor on Friday afternoon and I'm actually kind of looking forward to that.

It also makes me sad because I want to be looking forward to a fun evening with him (we're revisiting the site of our first date) without obsessing over what he's going to say about the house. And though he assures me we can work it out together, I am definitely afraid that my hoarding will ruin our relationship.

Thanks again to all of you who truly understand about this. Have a great day everyone!
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