Tatoulia, glad you got that nice dinner in. I totally agree with you - that's as important as anything.

Funny coincidence with the home test thing - I invited my brother over to hang out and he offered to bring over lunch. It was a good time. When he went to leave I gave him a home test and kind of spelled out when he might use it thinking he'd never use it. Then 2 hours later he called and told me he started feeling bad and had a fever. I was like " errrr can you take that test? Because we need to know if we need to cancel his appt tomorrow." And he did and it was negative, but it just shows you... I don't know what it shows you. He's not working right now. He literally spends 10 mins in the grocery store once a week fully masked up. The only people he sees indoors are either myself or my parents - maybe once a week. How could he catch ANYTHING? Well, anyway, I don't understand these things.

Oh well, so we are all set for tomorrow. The H took tomorrow off. They are only letting one person in. I kind of want to be the one to go in to make sure certain things are communicated, but I'm nervous I will cry and upset my son. So I don't know, I will probably write a 3 point list in black sharpie on the H's arm or something... I'm trying to block out thoughts of what my son might experience before hand as I will do all I can to make it manageable for him and beyond that it's out of my hands. I feel pretty sure it will go well and then all we have left to endure is waiting to find out if something is wrong which I'm also trying not to think about yet because I am guessing I will have to wait a few days for that anyway.

As far as cleaning and stuff, I had a big trip to the grocery store, then it took forever to put it all away. Then my bro came over, then I picked up my son and we just chilled for a few hours. When the H got home he made dinner which was nice. I was starting to feel crummy by that point. Then after dinner we had an argument. This is one of those days where it's so bad with him I can't even talk about it. Earlier, I picked up the living room a little, started thinking about Christmas cleanup. Did a little googling trying to figure out some options for closet shelving, Nothing changed in the back 40. I think everything in my room is status quo. My main accomplishments were groceries, visiting w bro, playing with puppy, hanging with my son and avoiding thinking about tomorrow. Tomorrow will just be about my son. Then this weekend, I may be motivated to put Christmas stuff away. I'm gonna try to put it away methodically so it's easy to set up again next year. I didn't decorate the kitchen or dining room with any/much Christmas stuff so the main thing is the tree and the mantle. That's about four large bins plus the tree. A pretty easy job. The harder task is the misc. detritus that accumulates. The garbagey gifts kids get that need to go somewhere or get discreetly "disappeared..." Then I think next week if my son is back in school I will take some time to reorganize and purge some of the Christmas stuff. Before it all gets shoved back in the way back of the basement. I also need to work on the porch. There are 2 large bins of stuff to get rid of in there and I've been playing chicken that that stuff won't find its way back into the house. Actually, a table cloth I had in there DID make its way back into the house.

I will DEFINITELY make an announcement when I start taking things to the thrift or throwing stuff out.

Hope everyone had a good day.

Quick check in. Thinking of you and your son, Road. Big day tmr.

I kept thinking it was Wednesday today so that feels like progress only because I'm really happy it is Friday tmr.

Everyone is doing so well. My friend came over for dinner tonight. We did covid tests first. She was texting pictures of the process to a friend who said, don't waste the test. And I said, I want to have dinner with you, tell her that's not a waste of the tests, that's why we have them. We still ate apart; she at the desk by the fireplace and me on the couch. She then put away my Christmas stuff for me. Everything is fit into the closet like a puzzle.

Garbage is out and Miss Kitty has a clean box. I left the wreaths on my windows. I went back and forth but honestly left them so that they'll look pretty with the snow we are expecting.

I'm glad the Christmas stuff is away for the year.

I'm tired but must shower and wash my hair.

Good morning.

Yay for laundry Road! And for your son helping!

Bean comes Monday, but I get to visit him for about an hour tonight. The next class session is starting at the pottery studio. I signed up for a year membership that includes a class every session and his house is between school and my class. (Which appears to still be happening.)

I am just tired. Teaching takes a lot of energy and yesterday had a lot of extra challenges. I actually called my boss after I sent the second email (because she had contacted me for my version concerning the complaint - fortunately her tone was "wtf is this woman talking about?") and when she answered the phone she said "Hi (subC) you've had a day!" She didn't even know half of it.

And changing habits takes a lot of energy. Even small things like brushing your teeth (last night I was so tired I went to bed without brushing my teeth, which I have been trying not to do) or not leaving dry dishes in the dishwasher overnight (ditto)

Today should be a very good day at school (cross your fingers for no bad surprises!), but I am not ready for tomorrow yet, so my morning will be spent mostly on that and the house will not get better. But it has not gotten so much worse that I can't get net ahead on the weekend.

I got two more Christmas presents from students this week. One was a very useful tool for the class the student is in, and the other was a funny pair of goat socks - actually, that was from ❤️Dd via ❤️Gs's coat pocket and not wrapped, so I'm not sure it counts as a teacher gift. But she knows how school has been this year and I love that I now have socks covered in screaming goats.

Ok I just scrolled through quickly regarding the tampon talk. Caught my attention. Years ago, I put all my unused supplies in the office services area. Everyone was so grateful. Pads, tampons, liners.

Lila and cm, funny about the tampons. So nice to be done with that. At some point I threw away (yes that's right) the rest of my pads and after hearing me complain about wetting my pants 98 times my 84 yo mom finally said "Maybe it's time to accept that you need to wear a pad" lol. Need to put on my big girl pants to save my underpants...

Laundry in the dryer thanks to my son and my ace in the hole, subC!

I think Lila was in a pit the other day, then I was yesterday, and now subc are you in a pit? I hope not but if you are I am lowering down a ladder. And a snack. Just in case. When does bean visit next?

Yay for sewing projects, and progress and coping with medical things!

I have been happy to see all the posts, but I'm sorry I don't have the energy for a detailed reply.

It was a long day. I lost track of how many kids were out. I had to send two emails about significant problems to parents. One other parent sent my boss an angry email about me. I accidentally hurt ❤️Grandson's feelings in class. The house is not better than it was when I got up this morning, but I am tired.

I got one email from one student tonight that is keeping my head above water.

Tomorrow will hopefully be better.

Yeah, I do have a list somewhere of quilts in progress and designs I definitely want in the queue for after those. Probably on my laptop which I get on less because of not having a private computer workspace since Covid and roommate working from home. Although I'm determined to find a solution for that dilemma in the new year.

But the good news is I found a quilt that I'd forgotten I started and that should be ideal for this Friday! It was in a bag in my van. I won't need my sewing machine at first because it still needs some cutting and a little design planning but there is a paper plan I'd made so I think we're good. Just need a quilt ruler, cutter, mat, scissors, and basic notions. It'll be good to keep things simple the first time.

Lila, I probably would've used those big tampons. 😅 Before all the relevant parts were removed. Some things one has zero nostalgia for. In one way at least, life is simpler.

I'm amazed by how many areas you all are tackling. Good energy and ambitions there. And don't worry if a few get carried over to the next day, you'll still nail them. I've been in slow mode but maybe soon I'll have my own ambitious lists too.

Great Road, you sound better!

I am making bits of progress here and there today. I "decluttered" the fridge and freezer by pulling things out to put together a dinner: frozen homemade soup, frozen rolls and a frozen bread stick, and a bagged salad kit that I needed to use. That will make a nice dinner.

I also "decluttered" my action tub. You know those plastic tubs you can get at wlmart for a couple bucks in the kitchen section, that are meant to wash dishes in? I have one of those and it sits next to me on the sofa. It is full of all the things I need to get done, coupons, papers I need to read, mail, notes, etc etc plus my planners. It gets pretty full. I sorted most of it last week but it was still more than half full, so today I pulled it all out, sorted, threw out a huge stack, consolidated notes into my planners, did some action items, and put 2 older planners back on the book shelf. Now I know exactly what is in there. I still have a couple action items, and I have a big stack of notes for my volunteer job that I need to go through and re-write anything important into my volunteer planner. I will do that tomorrow.

Now I am relaxing a bit while the soup heats up. I feel good about what I got done today.

Cm, I'm excited for you about the Friday sewing time. I don't know if you're like me but I totally lose my place on projects. I remember thinking I would get into a habit of writing myself notes about where I was leaving it and what was the next step on a given project.

Any more news on the bunny front? Hey, you're a gardener, too aren't you? Do you do anything from seeds? I can't decide if I'm going to this year or not...

Hey guys, guess who started a load of laundry. Me. Guess who remembered to check it. My son.

Hey Lila, thank you and same back to you. Your action is definitely an inspiration. Yeah, I have a feeling I'm going to find 83 little office supplies hoards when all is said and done. and a lot of other nonsense. So far I feel like even though I am experiencing some frustration with myself and getting sucker punched occasionally with handling some emotionally charged stuff, I am also feeling positive feelings for having taken it on, having had some accomplishments, and for understanding that Even though I have a long way to go I am learning skills and building confidence. Today when I was handling all that stale paperwork I felt a little wave of dread but then I thought about how much I had cleared off my floor piece by piece til I was through it all. And this phase will definitely be easier than that. Bigger, longer, but not gross.

Just wanted to update that we got the Covid test done for the screening the hospital requires. That was no big deal. I think it took longer to park and walk to the building and back than the whole appt took. So that's done.

Also, spoke to the neurology nurse and she asked me all the screening questions which helped me feel better. And I got my ?s answered and that was helpful too. So he will have that mri done Friday afternoon and then I assume we will have to wait over the weekend to get info. Still feeling within normal limits today which is good. Yesterday morning was not good. Hope to not experience that again.

Alright folks, I will check back later

Wow Road! Ride the wave!! You are getting a ton done! And your mention of cleaning the toilet base area inspired me that I may tackle that as well. It is a chore I hate but it is SO satisfying to see it clean when it is done!

Have you guys ever started to declutter an area you haven't looked at in years, and when you start pulling stuff out it's like you have all these little question marks popping up over your head? Like WTH is all this stuff? I didn't know I had this. Why are there 4 containers of cotton balls in here? Who needs this many q tips?? Why are there 400 batteries? How did this mouthwash expire in 2014? Who ever used tampons this big?

Anyway it was kind of an adventure but I pulled out everything from the other shelf in the bathroom cabinet. It was so weird. But I ended up sorting the batteries into these little plastic bins I had, that keep the ends from touching. Threw out all the battery plastic containers. Gave some items to my teen. Arranged things so they are easy to find, with like items together. Consolidated stuff. Wiped things off. Now it is very easy to see and find what is needed. Although I really wish there was one more shelf with this cabinet - it would make my life easier (space for towels). So that is done.

Doing that made me think I need to do the drawers in that bathroom, too. I try and work on my bedroom but when I can't, I will do a drawer.

Tatoulia, glad things have smoothed a little with your mom. That must be a relief. And glad you found a few more of the cards, too. Your suggestion way back when of pairing some habits has come in and. Out of my head a few times... sounds like a good tactic.

Had a flurry of activity this am and got a lot done. First I talked with my bff and she talked me through the whole next couple days thing. She's great both for emotional support and also logistically she just knows a lot.

I'm gonna list some of what I did. I think it helps me (like Lila)...
- cleaned base of toilet and floor around toilet
- bathroom garbage
- bedroom garbage
Started working on standing desk clearing
Just started moving some things around and I think that got my momentum going... I quickly decided to just go for it and clear off enough space to start using it sitting down. After I brute forced the leg extension on that one leg the table seems to have settled into a more or less level surface somehow. The floor under there is still a nightmare. I'm not there yet. I decided to get all the rando stuff in one bin and all the paper work in another. So now there are 4 large, pretty densely packed bins on the left hand side of the table, and on the right, it's a clear surface, and there's the printer. I have two tables on either side of the "aisle". One is an old tiled kitchen table with a hutch sitting on top.shelves are full, top is full, underneath the table is full, and the surface is about 14" deep, including my grandmothers antique china clock which I now need to find a safer spot for. I decided it would be quicker to clear off half of the standing desk than the table.
- moved bulletin board to new desk,
-emptied another bin to move need to be sorted papers to.
- moved the bin lids that were in it and all the other contents to where they need to be or closer to where they need to be.
- moved laundry basket (still to be sorted from under bed garbage) to behind bookshelf where rando bin was.
That helped clear the walk way a bit. So in what should be the entry way/ walk way there's still about a cubic yard of Paperwork and misc. things that need to find a new home, but very little garbage now. In the back half there's now a 2x6' walkway where it's bare wood so I'm getting pretty close on that. I also thought that I actually have quite a few book shelf things that would fit in the closet for shelves if I want to do that but I'm thinking they're probably not deep enough for clothes.
- got most of sons school supplies in one place
- got most of the paperwork to sort in one place
- got most of the toiletries and personal items in one place
- cleaned a little under standing desk
- cleaned a little on tile desk
- finished breaking a cracked vertical file and trashed that
- washed the surface off

Funny, now the messiness is starting to bug me. Just the cluttered surfaces and dust and etc. so that's probably progress. Even though some of that paperwork I'm going to have to go through is triggery, by clearing that space which took WAY LESS TIME than this took to write, there is a Lot of Positive energy flying around in here I'd say. Just having that surface clear. Made me want to work on dare I say worky things...

Ok, gotta stop. Will stop back and see what you posted, cm!

Tatoulia, you are doing great! And thanks for the kitty litter reminder. I just let me teen know their cat box needs cleaned and the floor around it needs swept.

SubC, I did not declutter anything yesterday but I did spend all day driving my teen to a doctor appointment out of town. So I had basically no time to do much of anything. A few phone calls and emails in the morning before we left, then when we got home, ate and decompressed and went to bed early. Today I will have something decluttered to post! You are doing great. A little bit better and cleaner every day.

Road, a clear bed is a big win! I think bringing your brother along would be a good idea to help it not be so stressful.

Speaking of the fridge, mine has not been washed out in a very long time. I have gotten into the habit of throwing out spoiled food every garbage day, so that has helped, but did not do it over Christmas as I was too overwhelmed. So I did it the other day except for the veg drawer.

Today I decluttered the spinach, lol. It was one of those huge plastic bins and I have been so busy eating cake and pizza that it was sitting there unopened for a long time. Today I pulled it out and "sorted" the spinach. For some reason about half of it was still perfectly fresh looking! Not even wilted. The other half was going bad. So I sorted the pretty, perfect leaves into a colander and threw the rest out. I washed the good leaves. And then I made myself a smoothie! It has a ton of that spinach in it, probably a good 3-4 cups, plus some frozen mango and banana. I am drinking it now, it is very good and healthy. Also sipping caffeinated coffee and took tylenol, so hopefully that will get me moving today. I did put in a small load of laundry.

CM, I really hope you win the powerball! How amazing would that be?? I have occasionally bought one myself, but not lately. It is fun to dream.

Hey

Definitely on board with the "find a few little things to improve" idea. Otherwise it quickly devolves into Overwhelm R Us. That applies to so many areas right now.

I'm going to return to minimal mention of the plumbing situation. One of the hardest things about it aside from the problem itself is dealing with others' well meaning reactions since the whole thing is 100% out of my control. Our guy is, I believe and my roommate believes as well, not a dishonest person. But he is overwhelmed and has frequently had difficulty with the coordinating of his life and work. I believe he has either ADHD or PTSD cognitive issues from growing up with a mean drunk dad who he said used to beat him severely (or a combination of those issues). He has a good work ethic at the heart of it but seems to have difficulty structuring his workflow and communicating with customers when there are delays. And then there have been the bizarre instances of one thing after another with his luck and health and family, and some unknowns regarding when his sons are available to help. I don't want to say more than would be discreet.

I understand how it is to be a person who could benefit from structure and accountability in one's work life, yet who may also find it nearly impossible to conform to an externally imposed structure for various reasons. That's one of the main reasons I myself exited the conventional workforce and filed for disability.

I could go on, but this is already complicated enough, and has a tone of defensiveness that I wish it didn't. I am just so sick of things being complicated in bizarre ways. It feels isolating, like I don't belong in the world of people with normal functioning plumbing. If I allow myself to dwell on it, I spiral into despair and get stuck there. I don't want to do that anymore.

Rant over.

Moving on...

We've got another blast of cold weather supposed to come in tonight. Hopefully only a trace of snow this time though. The wind chill will be the main thing to watch out for if I need to go out to find a restroom for, erm, purposes beyond what our compromised facilities can handle. Otherwise I just stay in, and by Saturday the weather will be reasonable again.

After having the Pfizer booster a few weeks ago I had hoped there would be minimal concern about things such as going to a laundromat. But with omicron I dunno. There is this newer laundromat I like; it has at least twice the space as most of them, doors on four sides so hopefully good ventilation, and if I go during a non busy time it seems reasonably safe.

Hoping Friday sewing studio will be off to a good start; I'm pretty behind and unsure where to begin because when that other arrangement fell through in the summer and then the home repairs which had actually been progressing at that time started glitching, I kind of lost track of where I was. And there were two quilts in the preparation stages, but neither of them at a point where I can just pick up again easily. One needs to have embroidery designs drawn out, and the other needs rethinking because the panels I was designing around turned out to be printed so crooked they were not usable so I may do something different with the fabrics I'd collected for it. Starting an entirely different quilt is an option but I already have so many projects going, y'know? Well, I'm going to drag out my design notebook and quilt magazines and see if there's something easy I can do.

And the powerball jackpot is up and today I will buy a ticket. Who knows? I only do that once in awhile and I only buy one ticket when I do. If it's meant to be, one will get the job done. Money doesn't fix everything but some things it can certainly help!

I remember in the 70s the saying was Keep On Trucking. 🚛

Fridge tea!!! How I know that well! Not in my own house but growing up there'd be some oif that wow! I seem to recall that celery is a very good fridge tea starter!
I clean out my fridge every garbage day. Habit is ingrained. My cleaners will wipe down the refrigerator shelves when they are here.
I bought four lemons but only made two lemon pigs. So I donated the other two lemons to the community fridge. I also gathered up all of the candy canes and donated them.

I'm glad your bed is clear! Honestly, Road, I need a clean and clear bed. At the height of my hoarding and mess, I still needed clean sheets once a week. Floors were a crime scene but I had clean sheets.

I saw Mom tonight and she's definitely doing better. We are doing better. So that is good.

I have to go to bed soon. I worked til after 11 and here it is nearly 12:30.

No purchases. I haven't reported this because I feel like you just know I'm not buying anything.

Road, I'm thinking about your son. Sub I'm thinking about school and how much fortitude it must take to keep going in. Shout out to Lila and Cm!

Thought of something else,

When subc said some people don't have any spoiled food in their fridge and I chuckled and said, "well, that ain't me!" Because mine is always jammed with stuff And always about 1/4 full of stuff that's gone bad . But I have to say TODAY the bottom two bins are almost empty, I have a thing I'm defrosting in the bottom one and the next one only has a gallon ziploc half full with veggies. And I think neither of them has that mysterious "fridge tea" river running through them... And I washed the bottom floor surface a few days ago so if you only looked right down the middle near the bottom my fridge would look clean! Lol. Top four shelves are a nightmare though, haha. But it's good that the fridge has been more back on my radar again too. And the H actually commented on it.

Well, ladies, the kid has finally fallen asleep so I'm headed back to my room. Not sure what I'm going to do. Probably try not to go downstairs to eat something but will obsess trying not to think about it and then do it anyway,,,

Hullo, people

Well, you guys didn't know this but I was hanging by my fingernails for a few hours today. I feel much much better now. Still emotional but not unglued. I assume this is an anxiety problem. I really did not have an issue with this til the last few years. Lately I just have this terrible sense of foreboding and the weird thing is my son and husband seem to, also. I have to be very careful when I'm near my son because he's an empath and just absorbs your mood. I feel like I could burst into tears with one passing thought or I feel the need to scream at the top of my lungs - but I don't. Actually I need to stop writing about it right now because it's affecting him. But I feel better now. Tomorrow is his Covid test for the mri with anesthesia schedule for Friday. If I feel like this tomorrow I'll be fine. If I feel like I did earlier today I might have to ask my brother to come with me which would be weird but which he'd do if I asked.

Anyway, I am focusing on getting all my paperwork back into the "back 40" which is the back half of my bedroom. Right now my bed is clear except for the one bin with my needlework and my clipboard thing I use every day. And my cloth bound pride and prejudice I was using like a security blanket for some reason this afternoon. Anyway, the point is the bed is clear which is very odd considering how few days it's been like that in the past few years... feels good. I put some more of the clothes away, set some aside to store or get rid of, and the rest are kind of teetering on a plant stand. I had planned on adding shelves to that closet and now I am actually in need of that. I don't know when I will get to accomplishing that but the need has caught up to the vision, I guess. The floor is a bit of a mess still with various things, but it's getting there. I'm really glad I took some time to de-Christmas a bit so it's more or less back to where it was before Christmas and a few things are Further along. Re paperwork, I think I figured out that a problem with having everything in back is I'm not walking past it. It would actually really be better to have the office up front and the bed in back. That might end up happening at some point. It's certainly more in reach now than it was when there was a foot of garbage on the floor. Did I just write that? Yes I did.

Well, this is turning into a journal entry again (which I still need to start! )

Tatoulia, glad your hiring thing went through and is done.

Lila, glad your project got delayed. That will hopefully give you a little breathing room.

Subc, The back to school is going well. My son is very glad to be back but I am worried about Covid. The H has some good friends at school and I overheard part of their text thread (where they can record voice messages to the group) and they were all very funny and also critical of the admin not caring about teacher safety. They are saying transmission at schools is not an issue but if this is 70x more transmissible than the last one then how can it not be an issue? This does not compute. Most adults around here are vaxxed, many kids, and some are boosted. We are. You go in a store and every one without exception is masked. Everyone keeps their distance from everyone. There may be someone with it hanging down off their nose but that's the exception. But you still see long testing lines everywhere.

Well,better hit send before I lose it.

Ok.

I took out the compost. I loaded the dishes into the dishwasher (but it isn't full, so I won't start it) I did my chores.

I did not finish my list for today, but I am tired. And I did a lot.

The house is better than it was when I got up this morning.

Tatoulia, yay for finding cards and cleaning your house!

I don't think you know how much of a support and inspiration you are.

Lila, what did you declutter today?

I took 8 paper grocery bags of recycling to the drop and tossed a plastic grocery bag of trash into the dumpster.

I also dropped off six full plastic grocery bags in the bag recycling at the grocery store. I have not done my chores or cleaned up today's dishes yet. I did do yoga this morning.

I survived my first half day back at school. I had 5 kids out today. I already know two will be out tomorrow. Tomorrow is a long day, for which I am not entirely ready.

I need to take the compost out, but it is dark and cold. Maybe in the morning?

SubC that was really nice what you said. I have a funny smile on my face. It made me happy and proud and shy. Thank you!

Everyone, you are dealing with so much and getting things done despite the obstacles. Cm good that you have a place where you can sew. Your work is so beautiful. I think you'd enjoy Road's beautiful embroidery. I am envious of your talents.

SubC that's great that you had the frame, right there, ready for the artwork. Very sweet. Lila you got the shirt! Congratulations!

I worked all day. All day. It's significantly colder here today. I ran a few errands with BF and I read in the car. Then I came home and worked some more.

I got my garbage out but no kitty litter so I haven't cleaned the box. BF got me kitty litter so I'll change it tmr. The bag will have to wait til Thursday night unless I go to my car, in which I can use the garage bin for the kitty litter bag.

YES post daily accomplishments or challenges! Important!

I've done a good job of sweeping and wiping and I don't think anyone would believe the cleaners haven't been here in 2 weeks.

My temp became a full time employee today and I am excited! Boy it's cold and my house is so drafty. Cat is in her bed, which is on the chair, which is by the fireplace.

OH! Mom found three more of the cards I'd written so I am pretty pleased, as is she.

SubC, wow. What a real piece of hope you wrote there. Thank you for that. And it makes me think we are all in the same continuum, in time and space. Like, there was a time I was waking up in fear of mouse droppings in the closets and moths in all the kitchen cabinets. I remember that very clearly and how it hurt me. In fact there was a time mice came into my bedroom. I would be lying in bed at night and hear them scurrying. It almost gave me panic attacks.

I am thankful I am out of that scenario now, so I know there is hope. It was a lot of work to make the changes.

Sometimes, I think I hear something in the night and I jump up in a panic. I get up the next day and move piles and look for evidence. I never find any. The times this happens are less and less often now. The sounds are just the neighbor moving something or the wind coming in the window blowing a paper. Not mice, not anymore.

I do hope someday I will be able to find things when I need them, and eventually I hope to be able to have people over for a visit again. And I hope someday my clothes fit again. I cannot buy a whole new wardrobe in size 2xl.

Lila, I'm glad the kohls cash worked out and you did not spend money!

Do you think it would help you to post a thing you decluttered each day? I am happy to support that. (Road, check the laundry)

I think that, for me, right now (and I mean RIGHT NOW, in two days it could be different) what is working best is trying to make things a little better every day. Even if they are exactly the same minus one piece of paper. Or exactly the same but I dusted a shelf.

I believe there are people who wake up in the morning sometimes, and they are not afraid they are going to open a cupboard and find mouse droppings. They have so little in their trash and recycling that it would be a waste of effort to take it out, their dishes are all clean, they don't have enough laundry to bother with a load, the food in their refrigerator is all edible, and there isn't a single surface in their house where you can write your name in the dust. And I believe that one of those people is called Tatoulia, so I believe this is possible. For us.

I don't know where to start on my clutter and messes. I feel frozen today.

The kohls cash was about to get thrown in the trash to end the frustration when I finally got a shirt to go through. I was upset because I had returned a shirt I found in my room, tags still on, and was going to use the credit plus the kohls cash to get a shirt I like better. I do need it... I got so fat my freaking clothes won't fit. I ended up getting the shirt for less than the kohls cash plus return, so that's a win, and I will have one more thing to wear.

I got my laundry put away.

Do we need some kind of declutter-a-day challenge on here where everyone shares one thing they decluttered every day?

As bad a mood I am in, it might be a great time to go through and put things in the trash. I feel like trashing things anyway so I would probably be ruthless. I will go in my room and try an area.

Road, good job on cleaning.

How did the school day go?

My house is better than it was when I got up this morning.

Primarily because I took a deep breath and took a big bag of stuff to my DD's trash can. But I also kept up with myself and Dh dishes today. There still isn't enough laundry to bother, but I will run the dishwasher tonight.

One of my students gave me an art card for Christmas that I wanted to frame. When I was playing with Bean today, I looked up, and there was a frame sitting on a shelf that still had it's thrift store price on it and no photo. I stuck it in the room because the frame and mat were a good match for the room. - guess what else they were a good match for? Glass cleaned, card framed, envelope recycled.

Tomorrow I have a lot of recycling to drop off, so if I keep up with any new messes, that will be my step forward. Honestly, with school back in, I will be happy if I can just backslide less during the school week than I went forward on the weekend. - "two steps forward, one step back" is a step forward!

CM, it is good to see you back., so much going on that is out of your control. I think you are making good choices where you can though.

I would say - start anywhere pick one lityle corner or an edge of a table, or your bed, and just father up trash and move things. I also think getting a kit ready to go sew is an excellent idea. You need a break.

I am so frustrated about this plumbing for you. I just don't understand how this can happen. The person responsible for the work should be ashamed.

Gotta run again.

Lila, put the cake down. At least long enough to eat a carrot. I'm sorry you feel bad.

I'm glad for you about the event though. I'm a little stressed about going back to school tomorrow.

The laundry was good. Finding all those supplies was good too! You can put off spending money and have kessstuff in the house.

Are you trying to spend the kohl's cash on something you need? Possibly, the $10 is not worth your energy.

I'm hoping you medical referral will get straightened out.

Back sooner catch everybody else, stuff going on.

update:

I got a call and the big event is delayed for one month. I am relieved about that. It takes the pressure off, although I still need to get working on it soon.

I thought that relief would give me a better mood, but so far I am still in a cranky mood. I don't know why aside from I am upset about my weight gain but am eating cake. I know I would feel better having some fruits and veggies, but I just keep hoarding up the cake into my body and being mad about it.

Thinking more: what is frustrating me today - I have done what I can to get the referral going and am just waiting for people to do their job. It is probably going to cost me a good $75 if these people don't do their job TODAY. It's out of my control. Also, I have $10 kohls cash that expires today and I keep trying to use it on the website and getting errors. It is so frustrating.

Anyway, I went back in the master bath and organized the stuff from that cabinet, and put it back in a way I can easily find what I need. I am pleased I got that done.

Well I forced myself to get up and do something, although it was not much.

I put a load of laundry in the wash. Now it is in the dryer.

I tried to work in my bedroom but got SUPER overwhelmed, so instead, I went in the master bathroom and pulled everything out of one shelf in one cabinet. I have not gotten in there in like 6 years. I am out of deodorant and using an old travel sized one, so in the "spend nothing" mindset, I did this cabinet. And YES I found one new deodorant in there, plus some toothpaste which I am almost out of. So I am set on those things.

I also found a Pedicure thing someone gave me 3 or 4 years ago, never opened. I put it in the donate bin.

I saw a lot of things in there I can use now: hair products, bath salts, bath scrubbies. All of the stuff is out on the floor now. I needed to walk away. When I am ready I will go back and put it all away in an organize fashion. At least I know I do not need to buy shampoo, body wash, or lotion for a long time.

Now I am mopeing around waiting to hear about that project.

CM,

I appreciate everything you're saying, and relate to not having the emotional bandwidth sometimes to even do the things that actually help you feel better. I've got my eye on the 7th... that stands out like a little beacon. Maybe what you could do between now and then is prep supplies for whatever you're going to work on there. That may help ground you in some hope. And since sewing feeds your soul, you will be ticking off several boxes when you get to do some sewing. and remember you don't just have the one option. You've figured out two really good options sounds like and being able to sew again would be a great way to step into a new year.

I lost some rx's when my room was at its worst. Actually it's amazing I didn't lose 10 of them, I did find them when I finally got under my bed. I have been finding all kinds of things. Naturally, some of it is a pleasant surprise, but more often it's annoying, And I kind of roll my eyes at myself. Obviously that's not productive but that's been happening a lot. Over the years I've had those experiences like "oh, why is this here? Do I have 4 authorized storage locations for large paper clips?" But I've never gone this long and had the accumulation get so out of control before. So I. Know I will probably find 34 stashes of paper clips when all is said and done but I will really try to be forgiving of myself. All of us here are learning, growing, and striving to shift our decision making and lives in a more positive direction and we should feel proud of ourselves and each other, I feel that here and hope every else does, too!

Muaaahhh xoxox

Hi guys,

CM, can't wait to read your post...

Just popping my head in to say I did a little cleaning this am. After wasting quite a few hours I dug in to try to get my standing desk cleared. I stashed and dashed a little but I did sort through four trays of sorted junk. Cleaned those four trays and threw a broken one away. I personally witnessed the wrapping paper and topless bins going into the truck. Also assessed the table. It looks like it broke and warped but it might just be the pvc extender leg things that are broken. I will have to clear the rest of it to find out. But for now the printer is back out of the aisle so that's good. I cleaned up quite a bit of the "Christmas crush" mess yesterday and my goal now is to be able to walk from my bedroom door to the opposite wall without having to contort myself. Lol.

Back later,

hi CM! It's good to see you back and posting. I enjoy reading your posts. I relate to a lot of what you say.

I am in such and awful, cranky mood. I did get enough sleep last night, but this morning was making a few calls etc and when the referral for my teen was not done correctly and has to be redone, I almost cried. I mean why can't people just do their jobs? I always have to follow up like people are little kids and make them do it right. I had to call the Dr office again and try to get them to do the referral correctly. If it is not done it is going to cost me $$$. I literally almost cried on the phone and feel like crying now. I don't know why I am so emotional.

I am getting my alone time and usually that makes me relaxed and happy. Why am I in such a sad/cranky weird mood??

Anyway, I am drinking some caffeinated coffee now, taking a deep breath and will do something. I don't know what. It is icy and snowing and I am staying inside.

One thing I am hoping for is that a huge project I am in charge of gets cancelled or moved to spring. I fin out in about an hour whether my superiors decide to run it or postpone it. This is something I usually love doing but am struggling with now. I have a commitment on this one that I cannot break, so if they go ahead with it I have to start REALLY working hard asap...today and tomorrow. I really really hope they delay it... oh please. That would put me in SUCH a better mood.

Ladies, after the way the end of 2021 chewed me up emotionally and spit me out, I'm trying to get my bearings. Clutter is still part of the overall group of large concerns in my life, and I'm trying to think of it as a form of occupational therapy to focus on in the weeks and months ahead!

The challenge, as always, is knowing where to begin. So many things have just been flung everywhere, during the time when the daily routine was so thrown off by the plumbing problem (as yet unresolved) but it's a curious thing how people do adapt to weird situations. Morning trips to places with restrooms have now been integrated into my roommate's and my routines just like anything else. We take off in our own cars because we have different preferences of where to go; she has liked to go to McDonald's and sit and have breakfast there, whilst I may or may not need to go right away and so I'll feed the bunnies and cats while I have the house to myself.

There had been a time when we feared we'd not be able to wash dishes here (by hand, there is no dishwasher, and I never used one much because with my OCD I prefer to see exactly what's happening and leave no bits of food on dishes, I know the newer dishwashers are supposed to be better but I still remember the old ones that weren't very efficient). So anyway, I have been using paper plates and bowls sometimes, got some holiday themed ones. Sometimes I just eat finger food anyway.

But then I get forgetful and find some of the paper plates and napkins that need to be tossed. Other junk too gets jumbled in. I hate the mess. Right now I don't know if I picked up one of my Rx's and have misplaced it. And if I did, trying to explain that to the doctor's office and the pharmacy will be a pain in the rear. At least it's not the xanax which is a controlled substance.

I'll look online and see if it shows that I picked it up. The Rx's have been harder to track since I see this doctor online only. I used to get paper scripts at her office so I could know what was going on, but nowadays they want you to call the pharmacy first, and that leads to more snarls because the pharmacy isn't always good at letting you know if there's a delay, or what. I don't like that system. It gives me more memory hassles.

The bunny club will hopefully have a fresh start with the new year, the people who were unhappy will rotate off the board. It may not be pleasant, or it may just happen quietly - praying for the latter! That was one of the big stresses for awhile.

Wish so much that I could win the lottery and give my roommate money to retire and buy herself a different house with working utilities, buy myself a nice little house as well and an art studio, give the bunny club a building... the list goes on. Oh, and I would hire myself a personal assistant to keep me on track instead of having to rely on my Swiss cheese memory! LOL, a gal can dream.

One good thing happened that I forgot to mention - the other day I was near this sewing store not too far away and decided to go in, and inspiration struck me to ask them if they knew of anyplace I could possibly go to find work space. Well, just so happens they have open studio every other Friday, for five bucks, which is not bad at all. The first one is the 7th! I'm so disorganized at the moment I'm not even sure what to begin with, but I'll find something.

I think, too, that my idea of going down in the church basement would be helpful, if I remember correctly the secretary said it'd be okay and the quilts will be for the church anyway. So between those two I should be able to get rolling again. And at some point I'll have the small spaces here at the house to where I can do some sewing and crafts. The biggest hangup here has been my roommate working from home - the places where I used to set up the ironing board or sit down to sew are sometimes too close to where she's on her computer and having meetings and conversations.

But I am happy for her that she has been able to keep working from home; the commute had been so awful for her and this plumbing issue would make it practically impossible. She would suffer from winter depression having to leave and return home in the dark, and she would always come down with bad flu and bronchitis. Not to mention Covid risks nowadays.

I feel bad that sometimes I've been cranky about it, though; I'm resolved to be more willing to sacrifice and take one for the team. It's hard fitting my life and routines in around someone else's that are often different and conflicting, in a too small space. But until I can figure out a way to bring in a steady income and move out, this is just how it is and I've got to put on my big girl panties and deal. And pray for the grace to have a good attitude! I've realized my complaining causes her stress and with her heart problem I don't want to have something bad happen and feel guilt for the rest of my life.

I'm being pretty frank here, but this is what has been going on and much more such as my friend's death. I feel pretty isolated in the world - if my confidante friends including my roommate become incapacitated or worse, and here I am with my anxiety, it wouldn't be pretty. Gotta come up with a game plan. When I reach the end of my rope tie a knot and say many prayers. All that stuff. I don't want to go back into therapy because I had some not so great experiences with it and besides I pretty much know the tools for coping. I've just got to make things work, find hidden wells of inner strength, have faith, etc.

And like I said, do the decluttering and the creative things and they will give me a sense of purpose and structure. More later. Hang in there y'all.

Hey CM, so happy to see your post!

Sounds like there's been a lot to navigate - especially with the funeral amidst the holidays... I know connecting with your friend was one of your main goals in going so I'm glad you found a way to do that even though it wasn't in person.

I'm still working on getting this kid up and grooving for first day at school so I will fly.But interesting development - my brother told me yesterday he wanted to host a family get together Sunday and he wanted to do our clean & text thing this morning. What is happening?! Lol I don't know but it's a good thing.

Later,

Belated Happy New Year...

I kept wanting to post but things just were very disjointed and it was difficult to find time and/or be settled enough.

Tuesday the 27th was the date of my friend's funeral and I was trying to figure out whether I felt up to going. I've got this extra anxiety thing in addition to the agoraphobia about traveling out of town at all, regarding leaving the pets with no one set up to look in on them when my roommate and I would both be out of town at the same time. I call it the "designated survivor" dilemma.

Yes, I am actually that morbid about travel, imagining the worst and all the pets wondering where we are, getting hungry, etc. Since Covid and the rifts in the bunny club, it is harder to get anyone to be the backup person. Also, I looked up on Google Maps the route and the area - it just seemed so middle of nowhere, few towns, and too much emptiness with no place to turn for help is an agoraphobia trigger.

So, I ended up staying at home. The other friend who totally gets it about anxiety was supportive of my decision. She at least was going into it with her husband and their RV there. So we communicated via text and supported each other. I found some of the songs on YouTube. I cried quite a bit.

And while it was going on, in another part of the house my roommate had been in touch with the bunny club, so we ended up going over and finding a new female bunny. On the way back, we ran into our repair guy. He's still had a lot going on but is beginning to get back in the swing, yet not completely - more on that later.

The new bunny was brought over on Thursday. She's big and sweet and a bit shy but settling in.

We were also contemplating the fact that a winter storm was to hit Friday/yesterday. I found it stressful and depressing. A 52 degree temperature drop, ice, a dusting of snow - yuck. It did end and I was able to make it to church this morning and by tomorrow temps will have moderated. So I'm relieved.

More people I know about getting Covid including vaccinated. My roommate was going to leave on Friday to see her family hoping to beat the winter storm getting there, but then someone from another state had a family member positive so roommate decided to stay home. Friday evening was kind of sad and anxious around here, roommate has been having some heart problems and the stress was bouncing back and forth between us because of my own overload and worries. But we got calmer and she went to bed and I stayed up with the bunnies to make sure fireworks wouldn't scare them. And tomorrow she will be able to get in touch with her doctor. Hopefully just needs a medication adjustment, I pray so.

There have been other happenings, but so many varied things I can't recall them all. Our repair guy thought he was going to do something on Friday to give us a temporary plumbing fix, but that fell through. Still, at least we have been in touch with him; for awhile we knew nothing at all.

Onward into 2022, one way or another. I'm going to start planning my attack on the things I'm behind on, whether that's the planning itself (because I don't know which end is up, so some things I need to write out) or the execution of the plans. Around whatever the weather may bring. But at least no more holiday traffic and crowds, yay. That will make many things easier.

Just treading water, basically.

Lila, I hope you get some rest and some alone time tomorrow.

My house is better than it was when I got up this morning.

I took some time this evening for yoga and a hot shower and am in my favorite pajamas.

I got the dishwasher loaded and it's running. Getting everything ready for dinner in an hour. My son finally got up so he can help me. It will be a fun night.

I think I figured out why I feel so grumpy and irritable. Yes, lack of sleep. And, lack of alone time. I am a major introvert and since I was with family entertaining yesterday, at church this morning, and having family again this evening, I am wishing for some quiet time. I have to take my teen to an appointment an hour and a half away on Tuesday and it is predicted to snow a lot so I am a bit concerned about that. But tomorrow I should be able to be home and not deal with anyone. I do have a bunch of phone calls I have to make though. And then it's going to be back to regular stuff.

I have no energy. Due to Christmas, New Years, parties etc my eating has been not great. Too much sugar and heavy food and carbs. Tomorrow I start back on my lighter, healthier plant based meals. I bet I will feel better without all this sugar and carbs in my system.

Lila, there were months when I didn't make any decluttering progress. Sometimes you just have to sit with things. I hope you enjoy dinner with your family.

If I couldn't eat after 6 I would starve. Mondays I get home about 5:45, and tu/w/f it's 6:15 at best. Thursdays are either dinner at Bean's house or dinner at 9:30+, and on w/f I get no lunch.

Hi Tatoulia! Kitty says thank you. ;)

All the thank you notes are ready to mail or deliver on Tuesday (admin says the name was an error - she is a student, we have 5 teachers with my first name)

The moth/mouse items from the basement closet are double bagged and ready to drop in DD's trash tomorrow. I am just trying not to think about it.

Dh washed his items and I put the dinner dishes in the dishwasher and I added some packaging that needs to be rinsed for recycling to the scullery (I can't rinse it because there is no room for it to dry until the stuff I rinsed out this morning is done drying - net progress today though)

I am still using the dining porch and scullery as staging areas. Maybe I can stop that by Imbolc? Ambitious, but worth attempting.

Good to see the active postings!

I took the recycling out to the bin. There was a lot. I m not sure why so much. I started to gather up the garbage and will clean kitty's box tomorrow. She gets all new litter and a box cleaning twice a week. Apartment living with a cat.

I stopped at mom's. I dropped off the bread I bought her. I went for a walk. Now I have to make dinner. Christmas stuff still on dining table Need to go into closet to get everything put away.

Will write Christmas cards now.

I went to church, then ran errands, then came home and cooked. Now I am tired. Family is coming over (last one for the holidays) and I asked the husband to help with dinner but he declined. So I have to go back out to the store and get things and cook dinner too. Annoyed. But whatever.

I got very little sleep last night, tossed and turned and my arthritis hurt. I hope tonight is better. I don't sleep well if I eat past about 6.

I am a bit grumpy today but was happy this morning.

I feel burned out on decluttering. So might not do much if any today. I need better energy to get anything done. I might take a sleep aid tonight and go to bed early.

SubC, that's a good idea. I will think of something to remind me and put it on my dash. For me, being careful with my money and what I put in my body is a spiritual thing so maybe a small token to remind me.

Road, my husband has not said one word about my progress. My adult kids and dil have come over and commented on WOW how clean, how organized, etc in the main area. He has not said a word. When I uncluttered that downstairs space he also did not say anything. Except maybe "where is my (fill in the blank)?" He never says anything about it when I clean, or decorate one way or the other. When I was sick, I could not clean anything and he never said a word about the terrible state the house got into, and never offered to help. So, he is pretty oblivious, I guess.

Road! I have this very cool deodorizer that is natural. It's called Citrus Magic and comes in several scents. I get it online. I love the smell of oranges and lemons so I get those scents. But they have floral etc as well. But yeah, I have to clean first so it's not just masking. I also have an infuser for essential oils that I use. We have rose, cedar, pine etc and it is nice. A few drops in the infuser makes it smell nice in here.

Road, I like your posting.

Most "deodorizers" aren't deodorizer, they're perfume to cover up scents. If stuff is actually clean, it won't need "deodorizing"

I am anti chemical and most perfume scents make it hard for me to breath (scented candles ug!) so my favorite deodorizers are soap, vinegar, baking soda (does absorb odor), bleach, alcohol, and open windows (not so good right now).

My favorite perfumes are flowers, evergreen branches, baking anything, orange peel, cinnamon and cloves in a pot on the woodstove, dried lavender, cedar, and empty vanilla or mint extract bottles.

I read buried in treasures a long time ago.

Laundry update:
There is not enough dirty laundry to do a load
The washing machine is empty
The dryer is empty
There are a few items hanging or laying out to dry
All clean dry laundry is put away
All beds have clean sheets (counting the ones we slept on only last night)

Dish update:
The clean, dry dishes are put away
The draining rack is partly full
The kitchen sink is empty
There are a few things on the kitchen counter that it is Dh job to wash
Half the scullery sink is full and the scullery contains many things I need to handwash
Everything that can go in the dishwasher is loaded, but it is far from full.

Moth update:
Still avoiding.

Sorry I keep posting but I won't remember things otherwise.

Can anyone recommend what they're using for deodorizer? Both bathroom and for general odors... Musty etc,

I bought some of those plastic jars of whatever that stuff is (the dries up)... those defn. Help but I notice my front closet stinks again and I did actually clean it out this time. Ok, well, I emptied it out and swept it. God forbid I should was a floor. Lol

Lemon pigs?! I must know. I'm going back...

Lila, it must be incredibly frustrating that your husband was able to rehoard so fast after you cleaned it. What does he think of your progress? I'm very curious to know what he's said if anything.

My husband (who does not have a hoarding issue but who does sometimes undermine my efforts to dehoard) seems to get more and more extreme over what he considers acceptable. To me, if the living room is clean (picked up) and I have my purse on the sofa ? that shouldn't bother him, but it does. Same with the dining room. I feel like if the rest of the room is picked up and there's a couple days clutter on the dining room table that should be ok. That's what you deal with when company is coming over. I would actually think it was odd if I went to a friends and they didn't have some clutter on the kitchen counter or dining room table. I fully admit the kitchen clutter with the pile up of spices and oils not put away is too much. I don't like paperwork or hardware left on the counter, either (that's his contribution to the clutter). And honestly, if he wasn't here the stuff would pile up more than just a few days on the dining room table. I just don't think the only acceptAble level of "clean" should be "nothing out of place."

Anyway, I was getting around to recommending the book "buried in treasures" again. Who here has read that? I'm about a third of the way through. Need to get back to it. Anyway, I highly recommend it. It's definitely motivational but is also validating.

Sub c, so true about the more unpleasant task being motivating! Gave me a good chuckle.

Subc, interesting thought about the zones.

Tatoulia, when you said you were posting that the 5 minute thing made you happy and wanted to remember that feeling, that really resonated with me. I think that's a big challenge for me. I think a lot of people who "naturally" keep things clean Both dislike things being messy and are very in touch with how it feels when things are clean. I have negative associations with cleaning (because of my dad) (and maybe a little bit because of allergies), and I guess I am comforted by a certain amt. of clutter. I think it makes a lot of sense to keep that positive association with cleaning right in front of us. I almost want to roll my eyes when I type that but I know it's the truth...

Update - I got the dogs and kid fed, the H got some new under bed boxes and then proceeded to almost ruin them by cramming them in too tight of a space. <<respect the sterilite!!!>> new mantra. But we did get rid of the two stupid boxes with no lids. Well, we will see if he actually disposes of them. <\end snark> I reorganized the ribbons a little. I am pretty sure I am still missing bags of ribbons and gift bags - prob got stowed in a Christmas box in the basement somewhere. I tossed two perfectly good rolls of wrapping paper because they were ugly. I got a clean fitted sheet in the size box I thought would work to store my linens in my room but I think it is probably too small... but it's a step in the right direction. And I got all the laundry in the basket and the basket moved into the hall. Looking around at the mess on the bed and the floor trying to figure out what to do next...

Progress!

It has been dark and dank here as well.

I have finished all but two thank you notes - one to my aunt - which I will need to mail, and one mystery note - my school offers the option of contributing to a cash gift for the teachers, and there was one name on my card that I do not know. I have a student who matches the first name, but it is not an uncommon first name, and I have no students who have that last name. I am guessing it is a parent who has a different last name from her child. I sent an email to the appropriate admin asking for clarification.

I tossed a moldy lemon slice from the fridge and found a half cup of ice cream left in a freezer container - which I ate. The fridge is thinning out finally, and we may need groceries soon.

Dd said I can put a big bag in their trash, so that is my next major challenge. I think I will put away the two baskets of laundry still sitting around from yesterday first.

All I need to complete an unpleasant task is a more unpleasant task to avoid..

Hi all, checking in - we are in the midst of cleaning and me feathers are ruffled so I came in to smooth them... deep breaths...

Okay I'm having second cup of coffee. Laundry is in the dryer. I've put some things away and cleaned other things. I want to emphasize that it's been a dark, dank weekend and it's not like I sacrificed a walk in beautiful weather. I'll still get my wok in after I go to mom's. I will have so much trash and recycling for tomorrow night and I cannot wait.

Okay g oiling to write out my pathetic Christmas cards now.

My desire to do laundry won this round. I'm fine with it. I want to wash the Christmas tea towels and get them put away. I took down the wreath on my door and will do the window wreaths tmr. I have to see if there's a tree/wreath pick up The door wreath is handmade felt, so it gets put away. I'll get rid of the Christmas flowers my friend sent and I'll put the vase in the donation bag.

Now I'm having a bagel and juice.