Meant to say we are NEG but we have some mild symptoms so I doubt that's right,,,

More tomorrow, hope you are all doing ok.

Hey gang, sorry so incommunicado but we've got the vid here... the H is + and as of yesterday me and the kid are too. I'm ver y discombobulated though trying to figure out if it's too late to be careful or if we might really still not have it and so stay away. Well anyway, I w
I'll try to check in tomorrow for real.

Where is everybodyyyyy? I assume working on stuff and spending time with family.

Sunday tasks completed:

Hand washed the pans, cookie sheet and air fryer insert.
Unloaded and loaded the dishwasher.
Decided to clean the window and ledge over the kitchen sink, which has not been done in years and was very dirty. Scrubbed, used q tips in the window grooves, etc. Took 3 sessions. I need to go over it with windex. I did not open the window so in spring I will do the other grooves that are hidden with window shut.
I went in my bedroom and picked up another bin off the floor, sorted it, put 2 things in the donate bin, and consolidated the rest into other bins so that one is empty.

Tired now.

I understand Lila, that is sort of how I felt when I had to throw out the alpaca fiber - now the fiber is gone, and I don't have the alpacas anymore, and I wasted all of that fiber and don't even have anything made from it as a keepsake of them..

I have 5 more evaluations to do. They are hard ones because I have to give this class grades and some of the grades are going to be bad. (Bad is a C or an incomplete because you were getting a C, but now you have missing assignments because if covid and I don't trust you to make them up - if I don't think you are functioning at C level, you have to leave.)

The new babies are a girl and a boy, and the girl is a color combination - pale cream with blue eyes - that I have wanted for years. She has beautiful ears too! I'm going to name her Queen Anne's Lace and call her Lacie. Her grandmother was a favorite goat named Sweet Annie.

My dog died several months ago, and every time I clean or declutter, there is dog hair. And I don't know if it is hers or my other dog since both are black. I find black hairs in every bin and corner and I get so upset because maybe it is hers. So I keep wiping and vacuuming and trying to get rid of every hair so that I will know in the future that it is not her hair. Because I feel so guilty throwing away her hair and in fact if I KNEW it was her hair I might be tempted to keep it. But I don't know so I want it all gone because I feel guilty getting rid of it. It feels like I am getting rid of every trace of her and it is very distressing.

I just needed to tell someone that, and not have people think I am crazy.

Congrats on the new healthy baby, SubC! Wonderful. I hope you can nap today. And I hope you can get those evaluations done. I hate the feeling of reports etc hanging over my head - that's what I was dealing with last week. It's so stressful, but the relief when it is done is great! I hope it goes smoothly for you.

I skipped church this morning to sleep in and relax, because I just need it. I am happy with how much I got done yesterday. I'll keep working on it today. I am going on a business trip this week so I am hoping the pants I ordered will show up in time. I literally have one pair of pants that fit me, plus sweats. I wash and wear the same pants all the time but they are not going to last forever. I gained enough weight that all the other pants dont fit. Those pants I ordered NEED to show up and fit!!

Today I will work on the kitchen dishes and my bedroom.

My bedroom is confusing because I keep taking things out and what is left keeps "fluffing up" like someone here said. I feel like 80% of the space in my room was full of clutter, I took out 70%, and now it is 50% full of clutter. Does not add up. Even though I only added maybe 5% to it in the last 6 months. Will keep working.

It's going to be a long day. I got very little sleep. Usually I can let two mama goats share the birthing stall, but the first mama tried to steal the babies from the new, inexperienced mama. She even bit her! I had to bed a new stall at 3 a.m.

Babies and mama are bonded now, but she's not so sure about this feeding them business. I have to hold her. The kids aren't very strong yet, but they are improving now that they have eaten (I took a nap and hoped she would feed them on her own. She didn't)

So, evaluations, hold goat for babies, evaluations, hold goat, evaluations..

Lila, you did have a productive day!

Nice job! And the furniture sounds lovely! I'm a big fan of mechanical most things.

I did evaluations today - 20, plus a little light editing and uploads on a bunch that were done. I have three more classes to do tomorrow - a total of 28. I gave the materials for each class sorted into piles. (I did all the sorting today) I have my attendance numbers on scrap paper so I don't have to keep logging back in to look them up (stupid teacher account logs me out after ten inactive minutes)

I did a load of laundry and put it away.

My second goat is in labor. She's a first fresher, so I may be up all night.

post 3 of the day - declutter/cleaning update.

I have had a productive day.

Loaded and ran the dishwasher.
Cleaned up a bucket full of dog waste out of the dogs' yard area.
Worked on my room.

First I took the pile of tools and stuff off the floor and put it on the bed with the tool bin. Took all the tools etc out of the bin, sorted, put back in an orderly manner so the pile fit. Started a new DONATE box with 2 cheap wrenches and a fridge thermometer.

Then I went to the area where I could not get to my closet. Picked up 4 bins and 3 boxes off the floor and put it all on the bed. Emptied the bins, put a few things in the donate box. Wiped out the bins, sorted, put some cords and other stuff in the donate box. Put aside a cracked bin that I can fill with small things to donate, or throw out. Undecided. Managed to consolidate everything in an orderly way into the remaining bins. Threw out the boxes. Now all the bins and some things I need to put away are on my bed.

I also found a lot of dog chews and toys in the pile so I put the few decent ones into the dog toy bin, and threw the rest away. I put all the quarters I found in the quarter jar and the other change into the coin container. Sorted papers and receipts and threw most away.

Stacked up the books. By this point I could get to the closet. I put the boots, canvas bags and duffel away in the closet. Put dog medicines in the dog bin. Put people supplements in the hall closet bin. Put new batteries in the bathroom closet. Threw away some things I will never use and put some new ugly pillowcases in the donate bin.

Then I vacuumed up the dust bunnies and dog hair. I dusted the tops of the bins.

So really that is a lot! I would like to hang up a couple of shirts today, and I have to finish consolidating those bins and find the missing lids and figure out where to stack them. They are small, like shoebox size or slightly bigger. But I have to do it so I can sleep in my bed tonight.

I also really wanted to clean up the kitchen a bit so maybe I can at least wash the dishes that are in the sink (just a cookie sheet and a couple small things and the air fryer insert.)

What did you do today?

Tatoulia! You sound pretty content! Nice. And your mentions of soup and Thai food inspired me (even though I don't think it was Thai soup!) I am eating mainly vegetarian and a nice, vegetarian Thai soup with coconut milk and curry sounds sooo amazing to me. I'll see if DH will bring me the ingredients next time he goes out. Yum yum.

My son just left and the old couches are gone!! So is the cracker kiddie pool. I feel so free! What a weight off me. Tatoulia I would love to tell you and SubC and anyone else who is interested about my new furniture!! So, the recliner is a nice, big soft puffy recliner. It feels like a hug when you sit in it. It is a chocolate brown leather (the shiny/smooth bonded type leather that is easy to clean and wipes right off). It is an exact match the the couches I just got rid of, but it is like brand new. Mine were like 10 years old and had kids and dogs jumping all over them for a decade, lol. This one looks untouched! It rocks, I love it. Then there is a sofa and a loveseat, each one has 2 end recliners. They are also a lovely chocolate brown but the material is almost like a buttery soft leather suede. It is warm when you sit on it. The tag underneath says Ashley furniture. It is not as puffy as the recliner but has plenty of cozy padding on the arms, back, seat so it is plush and soft. Ahhh I love them! And they recline manually which is so much better. My dog was always running behind the old couches and unplugging them so they wouldn't recline, lol.

Okay okay, enough gushing but I am very happy!

Haooy Saturday! I woke up around 12:30 when Bf called me. My sleep is screwy all due to me. And I'm not that upset about it.

It is 3 PM and I'm having my second cup of coffee for the day. I gulped down the first one so that BF and I could run a quick errand and I was able to pick up some heavy stuff for mom. I came home made my breakfast bagel and a enjoying my cup of coffee.

I saw mom only king enough to drop off the soup and other heavy things I bought.

Lila, I am so excited about your new furniture! And the impact it is having on you, SubC and me! What a gift at a perfect time! If you feel like it, I'd love to hear what it looks like! And if you don't that's good too. I have my image and I'm so pleased! You will be glad when your son can haul away the old stuff. What a way to start the year!

SubC, you are doing right by your classes. The impact on the other students is significant.

I'm doing laundry right now so I'm feeling pretty good. The sun is out, although it is bitterly cold.

Still not spending. I did, however treat myself to a meal yesterday. I don't often buy meals so this isn't a cheat day. My gratuitous spending falls in buying stuff through Etsy, buying stuff that is on sale just because it's on sale, buying stuff in case I need a gift, etc. my indiscriminate spending does not extend to food. I generally cook. I get Thai takeout with my friend Emiko just because I cook our dinners and that's her way of contributing. Or if she takes my car for a long weekend, she treats us to takeout.

So anyway, I bought myself food from a restaurant in my street yesterday. I was craving protein. I got a burger with a side salad and then a second side salad and some corn bread. So I'll be having salad today. It was delicious and expensive and lovely. I ordered it about 3 and walked over to get it. I ate around 3:4O and did not look at my computer or iPad or anything. Just enjoyed it.

I'm going to read for a while and enjoy the sunshine. Will continue to do laundry to keep me happy.

Coffee Clinks!

My son is supposed to come take the furniture to the dump today. He was working all week during times the dump is open so it's either today, or if he gets too busy, next Saturday. The dump closes way too early every day. But it's sitting in my driveway and there is not trash or junk anywhere else outside lying around. I keep up on not letting DH leave junk out there, so if he does start piling things in the back yard, I either shove it all in his storage area or put it in the trash on garbage day. There is a small cracked kiddie pool in the back that I will send to the dump with the furniture. I'll check around the storage and see if there is anything else I can send, like old cans of paint. They have special disposal for that but DH won't get rid of them even if they are rusted shut.

I am truly so happy about the furniture. It has impacted my life so much already. A whole layer of depression is lifted.

This morning I slept in, made myself some eggs and toast (I have not had eggs in months) and decaf coffee, took my vitamins and supplements and soon will get up and start working on things. Goals for today: clean the kitchen and work on my bedroom. And do stuff with my dog. I'm watching grandd tonight so have to get working so I can play with her when she comes.

SubC, I'm sorry for your loss. I think I know what you mean about the box. I had a therapist years ago and he wanted me to talk about my mother's death, and I told him, it was so traumatizing, I put it in a box and put it away so I could function. And I was not going to open that box. Sometimes you have to.

Well, let's all make this a good, productive day!

Hi Lila! I am so very glad that you got your furniture! I mean, it is ridiculous how happy I am about furniture I will never see.

Now I have to ask - did you get the old furniture hauled away?

Today is a put my head down and push through day. I am feeling sad and disappointed because Dh is going over to Bean's house to do electrical work and I cannot go along and play with Bean. I have to stay home and do evaluations all day. But I just have to do it. I have to get to the other side of this so that on Monday I can just play with Bean. I can show him the baby goats! Last year he was too little to understand baby goats.

It has been a long week. That child who was an issue was absent yesterday from the other class they take with some of the same kids. It was a different class! It was so much better! I will not be investing energy in that kid anymore. They are going to have to meet me more than halfway. It is costing their classmates too much to accommodate them. I don't say that lightly - this is the second kid in 13 years of teaching at this school, and I have begged to keep kids who were being asked to leave the program. I think it is valuable for students to learn to work with and accommodate other people but to make these classes right for this kid, I would have to make them wrong for everyone else.

Also, Dh uncle died. I have not felt that yet. It isn't real to me. I got the note during my lunch break yesterday and my brain just went, "right, need to teach, send Dh a note and put that in a box". Now it will be in the box until something lets it out.

Dh uncle had the same name as my grandfather. We loved both men dearly and gave the name to our son. Bean has it as his middle name.

Evaluations. I am going to do evaluations and surface only for breaks to eat,sleep, and do short clean up tasks or chores, until they are done.

post 2 -

Prepping for tomorrow. It is almost 10pm and I've been watching tv but also doing just a little bit of cleanup so I can have a better start tomorrow. This is my win for today. To get ready for my day at home tomorrow:

I used a coupon to do an instacrt order so the things I need will be delivered in the morning, including a new sleep gummy called olly that I want to try, since my sleep is awful.

I put the dishes in the dishwasher and threw away any trash on kitchen counters.

I put the clean clothes that were on my bed onto the rocking chair in my room. That is next to the closet, which I cannot walk to. Tomorrow I am going to clean up that area so I can walk. We even lost the base of the stick vacuum in my room and can't find it in the piles. Has to be dealt with tomorrow.

I made some camomile tea which I am sipping.

I will put the socks and underwear in the clean basket away before I get into bed.

hi! I am in a haze of exhaustion but yes, I got my son's friend to come and we were able to get the furniture to my house! I am so very thankful. It is like a gift from God. Now when I walk into my living room I feel like a normal person, I see normal furniture instead of broken peeling junk. I could have people over and not be embarrassed. I am so happy it makes me cry. They are very comfortable and look nice.

All week I spent working and trying to get caught up on work stuff. Writing documents, getting input, rewriting, etc etc. Finally last night quite late I submitted the last big report. What a relief. I do have one more to write but no pressure at the moment. I don't even know its due date.

So this morning I did laundry, went to a dr appointment, and then went for a pedicure. I only get one 2 or 3 times a year and it is such a treat. My feet feel so much better.

Then I came home and sat on my nice couch and vegged out all day. I needed it.

I have tomorrow off too and will start working on cleaning up the house. It is a wreck!! I was so wrapped up in documents and meetings that nothing else got done.

The workman fixed the ugly mess on the wall of my basement that was left from when his coworkers did the basement repair.

I tried just to accept that he saw my horrible messy basement and go on with my life.

I dropped the recycling and the bags in the dumpster.

I did a hoarding thing, but it made me feel better - there was a bunch of clean styrofoam in the top of the dumpster, and I filled the back of my car with it, because we already have a bunch of styrofoam we need to rake to the recycling drop.

Pansy the goat had her babies while I was at class last night - boy and a girl. Fresh milk in three weeks! (Usually two, but I'm going to leave them on full time longer because it is winter and because I will be going away fro the party.)

Last day of school this week, then evaluations, then maybe I will feel under less pressure?

I put the recycling in the car to drop off.

I gathered up a feedbag full of things that could be recycled if cleaned and driven to the recycling location but normal people throw away from the animal barn and I put that in the car to go to the dumpster.

I unloaded the dishwasher and loaded it and started it and there are only six items left from the "giant backlog of dirty dishes"

I am working on finding a way to accept the trip in two weeks.

I am coping with surprise workmen coming into my house in half an hour.

All of this may involve chocolate. I'm not perfect.

CM, bubble wrap is good for that too.

I'm having a very stressful time around school right now. I have an issue with a kid, and it was so bad today I called my boss and I accidentally used the adjective form of the f word to modify "classroom."

I have been super super patient with this kid. I think in part BECAUSE one of the kids they have conflict with is heartgrandson and I am trying too hard not to play favorites, but I really saw the effect they are having on three other kids today, and I am done. I sent the mother a note that if I do not see steady improvement or if we have another bad day, the kid is gone. (Then heartdaughter pointed out that kids have bad days, and I need to be clear that the kid can have a bad day - but they need to voluntarily remove themself to the office and not disrupt my class.) (this is one of the reasons I love her - yes, this person is tormenting my son, but you need to be fair to them.) voluntarily going to the office is a thing in our school.

Heartgrandson is also allowed to come to my room, as are a couple of other kids. One kid with anxiety sometimes leaves her regular class, comes in, cleans the pottery wheel, and leaves.

House is a wreck, lesson plans aren't done. Pottery class homework isn't done, Dishes are piled up. Recycling is piling up. Food choices are iffy, but daily habit goals are being met. And nothing is being added except food packaging and mail.

Quick check in

The cold wind is back. Don't know if I had mentioned it, and I don't really want to go down the plumbing repair situation rabbit hole, but another thing that had commenced at the same time - last summer mind you - was replacing the storm windows. This got as far as removing the old ones and painting the main windows, and ordering new ones. Then came the usual series of glitches. Long story short, we still have no storm windows. So I went to the Dollar Tree and got a couple of clear plastic shower curtains and taped them up. They do help keep the icy drafts out.

I get it about kitchens and pantries. My food items are in terrible disarray, and there's no real staging area in which to sort through it all. In addition, between the pandemic supply chain issues and hating the holiday crowds at stores, I stocked up on lots of food items in November and December. I want to use up the extra - provided the supply chain business gets resolved, and the virus itself isn't making me desire to avoid stores. But who knows about that, eh?

Also I have a lot of cake decorating related things like jars of sprinkles and tubs of frosting, and I want to bake but it is hard to get organized and do it. I'd even be happy to give away some of it to someone who will use it sooner, like a mom with a decent kitchen who bakes often and maybe a hubby and kids to help eat it up! 😋😋😋😋 But I don't know any such person these days. My social circle was not that big before Covid and I've been aware of it shrinking for all sorts of reasons. One thing I have been thinking about a lot is whether I can reconnect with some friends I've almost lost touch with but perhaps not completely.

SubC, I would've loved the lessened social demands of internet school too.

Lila, the bad dreams are probably the result of being sick and jet lagged. Hopefully they will let up soon.

Tatoulia, glad you got to see your mom and I pray you stay well.

Road, I know well how grief can ambush a person. After losing my friend recently I am relieved if it manifests itself simple and straightforward in the form of tears. Sometimes it has been trying to come as real old traumatic panic attack symptoms instead, really creepy because of how the triggers are ones I haven't had in years. Ack. 😱 Hoping I can nip those in the bud. Just trying to make myself not narrow my safe zone, and believe that I'll get through it again and probably better because of prior experience, and if necessary, a bit of Xanax.

Hang in there, ladies.

Good morning! Coffee clinks!

SubC that is adorable about Bean's boots! I never even thought of that. What a little sweetheart.

I finished my other two evaluations yesterday and by 6, 6:30 I logged off my computer. I saw BF for a few minutes then I went to mom's. Her in-house cleaner had been there (clean bathroom, and only vacuums as walking through, if you know what I mean) and that, combined with the real cleaning that my friends do, mean that her place always looks very clean now. My cleaners will take care of her place next week. I think the every three weeks is good. Her place stays nice enough that it's not too hard on the cleaners.

My cleaners come today so I'm pretty happy. I'm chipping away at the dining room table. I am forcing myself to deal with it.

Did two loads of laundry very late last night. Folded and put away. Emptied dishwasher, ready for what's next.

Good morning.

I hope Lila got too busy with her new furniture to post yesterday.

I got a few more evaluations done. The dish accumulation is getting bad. But I took some things to school yesterday that will stay there.

My mom has been packing away the Christmas decorations. She FaceTimed me last night and I was able to assure her that I did not want any of the things she was getting rid of.

I have subs lined up for my classes I will miss.

Oh Lila, you must find some people! It would be too cruel for you not to.

Tatoulia, you sound better. I am glad! Good for you on the evaluation!

You sound like my mom. She never met a stranger. She is having a terrible time with the pandemic. She got together with the same group of friends every Friday almost my whole life. One of them recently died (not of covid) and she really wants her friends around her. But my dad is high risk.

It's so hard. And mostly I feel bad for her, but sometimes I am mean and point out that I have been living in a society that was unnatural and stressful my whole life and now it is her turn. "And you used to invite random children over and expect me to entertain them" "I was trying to help you make friends." "Well I know that NOW. But can we agree it was a misguided effort?"

I can imagine the scene if my mom had told 7 year old me (very gently and as reassuringly as possible) that my school was going to be closed and my activities were cancelled and we had to stay home and no one could come over. Me "can we still get books?" Mom "I think so." Me, perfectly content, "ok."

I did get to keep Bean yesterday. He was not entirely impressed with the snow. He was concerned about the way it made his boots disappear. He's very fond of his boots.

School today. I am still not making enough progress on the evaluations. I need to channel Tatoulia! And my house is still getting worse. And my mil has confirmed that the party is on. And Dh wants me to come.

Praying you find someone to help, Lila.

hello, I am alive. Man I am tired. I woke up late and had to rush my shower and rush to my meeting. I have a chair I sit in for Zoom meetings because it is in a corner, no clutter behind me, but the chair was piled to the holt with clothes, junk, stuff. So I had to hurry and throw all that stuff off the Zoom chair onto my bed so it was clear. Same for the little table my Zoom laptop sits on - it was piled with stuff. It all got thrown into a box on the floor. Then just now, when I was going to get ready for bed, I walked in there and UGH, all this stuff thrown on my bed. So I did sort the clothes, put a dirty sweater in the hamper, laid the ones that should hang up on the back of the chair (can't get to the closet to hang them), laid the sweaters across the seat of the chair, and scooted the box over. Sigh. Well it is more organized than it was this morning, and I found ONE thing that is clean, appropriate, and fits me to wear tomorrow.

I spent all day writing papers and emails and STILL did not get the report finished that was due today. I did ask for an extension so I can finish it tomorrow and get it turned in. I am too tired to do any productive work tonight.

I have vivid nightmares and last night could not fall asleep until like 3.

Also, a blessing. Someone offered their living room furniture to me for free if I can come get it tomorrow. They are getting new. The ones they offered are used but not ripped or stained and much nicer than the crap I have. So I have my son with his truck to help, but I need another person or two because they are heavy and need to go up and down stairs. Pray I find people. This would make me feel so much better about my life overall.

Hi everyone!

Pretty good day for me. I slept til about 11:30 again. Then BF had the afternoon off so we spent it together and it was nice. We stopped by his house and said hello to his neighbor. I came home and worked solidly from 6 to now. Now I have to do the dishes.

Today's meager accomplishments are: I got three things off of my dining table; I changed kitty's box and swept up and got garbage and recycling out. Meager, but done. I did a lot of work tonight and stayed focused. I have written my toughest employee evaluation. I tabulated countless numbers from the year 2021. I have two more Evan's to write. One will be easy (now that the numbers are tabulated) and one will require more meet.

We found cat litter while out and about today, which is a small miracle. Kitty cannot use the clumping type and the other stuff has been really hard to find. We found a 40lb bag so I'm feeling secure.

That's my news. SubC, I thank you for the insights as to how you navigate the world. We are each so different. I'm super social and blend very well in a gamut of social situations. My sister's in-laws used to invite me to an Asian Unity dinner many, many years ago and within the first five minutes she said, it's already more fun with you here. I was shaking hands with politicians and helping people find restrooms, etc, insisting on standing ovations for the award recipients etc. I come home utterly exhausted but I'm good at this stuff. I'm on, I'm appropriate, I'm fun, and I don't drink. BF and I left a wedding once where we only knew the bride and groom, and on the drive home, my voice was hoarse. I explained, I had a big night.

I need the pandemic to end. It's damaging me. Much less than others to be sure but honestly I want my life back.

Oh ma gourd - I did it again. I don't "see" the warnings my iPad is giving me when it's about to die and I keep on blathering,,, and poof ! It's gone.

Subc, I hear what you're saying. Some of my favorite people on planet earth are decidedly not neurotyp- and you are one. I see you and I appreciate you just as you are. And you're right - it's amazing the myriad little social rules you don't really even think about ? ?til you set a foot wrong. It's a lacey web of illusions and deceits.

Well, not sure what I'm doing yet today...

What are you guys planning for today?

Amazing about that tsunami, huh? I don't get how traveling in all directions at once that force Would not dissipate more and could still impact coastlines around the world...but this is why I could never get betterthan a c- in physics. (But I will happily read 30 page articles on the multiverse. )

Tatoulia and Lila, hope you're feeling well or better.

Over and out...

Lila, I love planners, but I have never learned how to use them effectively. I have daily lesson plan pages, and I tend to take notes on them and then I have to flip through all of them for each kid as I write their narrative.

Road, I have spent more than 40 years studying people like alien life forms as a defense mechanism. I cannot interpret tone of voice or in many cases facial expressions. I have learned that you can't trust people's literal words. I was in my 40s before I came to understand that "hihowareyou" is a social ritual, not a question.

I have trouble generalizing - as in most people expect a cashier to behave a certain way - which is why they get angry when the cashier is slow, or learning, or rude, or whatever. I'm just like "people behave in ways I don't understand, but hey, my groceries got checked out - success!" Alternately, I can be the rude one because If someone is having an event and asks "would you like to come?" I will just say "no thank you." Without knowing if that is a polite "oops she heard about the event" or a "I really want to spend some time with you." Or "I need people at this event and I am hoping you will help me out by attending."

I will walk away abruptly and forget to use a socially appropriate exit line.

I hate phones. I love talking on the phone with heartdaughter because when I am done with the conversation I can just say "ok, I'm done talking - you?" And she will say "yep. Bye." Or tell me the next thing and then say "ok, now i'm done." And I say "bye." And we hang up.

I have studied mil more deeply that many people because she has always been in a position to hurt me more. I don't really have much insight into or understanding of my Dh and kids and mom because I know I am safe with them.

I am not good in person. It has taken the pandemic for me to realize that I do not have to "get along" with my coworkers. What I have to do is talk only about things that are required, keep my opinions to myself when they are unlikely to have a positive effect (almost always) and perform the appropriate social rituals required to get what I want.- example - I do not need to find common ground with A, I just need to know that A has 3 children and a dog she adores and remember to occasionally ask about one of them and make eye contact while she talks. Then when I need her help, she will be inclined to help me.

Ok, that was a lot. Probably too much and off topic and weird. I'll let it stand as explanation on it's own. Subclinical - not necessarily neurotypical.

We have a lot of snow. I might not get Bean today.

Hi all,

Not much to report cleaning wise... our kitchen faucet needs replacing so it's a very large pain in the butt to do dishes right now and the H picked this week to stop helping with the dishes. You'd think I'd be smart and make this week the week to use paper plates and not cook anything but no I just keep generating more dishes... pumpkin pancakes this am, and sesame glazed salmon and all the left over everything for a mid afternoon dinner. I haven't been downstairs all afternoon and all evening, I think it's possible alll the food is still sitting on the table. Oh boy. My turn to put the kid to bed. We did the shower and the skin treatments and the manicure and all the things. Also did some school work with him today and zoom call with the family this am. He went with the H to my bro's house and to walk the dogs so he had a pretty full day. Having trouble falling sleep again now though. He's got a case of the giggles now. His girlfriend called him last night and told him she misses him and loves him. So sweet. It's hard because her verbal skills are very normal - I mean, her speech doesn't sound normal but you can have a nice conversation with her. My son understands more than he can express but cognitively has more issues than she does and has some additional neurological issues that affect his speech abilities so he wouldn't ever really be able to have a full conversation with her. But he's so funny, sweet and charming, he still attracts the ladies. Hehe.

Subc, I would say you are a very astute observer of behavior and emotions. I feel like you've implied the opposite is true but I sincerely think you have amazing perception.

Tatoulia, have you tried emptying the dining room table and then sorting everything that's on it? Seems like sometimes if it all gets shuffled it's easier to deal with.

When we were about to buy our house 20 years ago we moved from our large 1 bedroom into a garden apt that was pretty small. I managed to only move the most essential kitchen stuff into that kitchen and have lived with the same amount Of kitchen stuff ever since. Not that I don't have gear I haven't touched for 25 years... lol. Cause I am sure I do. But I'd say I have the right amount of kitchen stuff. (Gear, not food) Everything has a place. What I need to work on is food storage - too much in the fridge, too many spices and bottles end up on the counter (part of this is a shortness thing). I did have them hang the cabinets lower... but still. I don't really have a excess of canned goods or whatever. But the fridge is a challenge. I guess my other categories are school stuff, baby stuff, holiday decor, surplus household decor, inherited antiques and stuff from the Ps, and craft supplies. Just thinking out loud. Wow, I wish this kid would fall asleep!

I did one little thing today, in trying to keep my declutter habit. I took a trash bag and cleaned up that little trash pile that had formed in my bedroom. It's a small thing but a good thing, to not have ANY trash in my bedroom except what is in that trash bag.

I am going to get last year's planner out and transfer a few more bits of information to my new one. I thought of this because, SubC, when you mentioned gathering info for evaluations, I remembered there is a very cool and organized teacher planner on plum paper (a planner site). I buy my yearly planner from them and noticed the great teacher planners there. I don't know if this is your kind of thing, but you could take a look. I would be lost without my planner, for organizing and keeping info in one place.

I have a very important report I have to write that is due tomorrow. I plan to write it after my Zoom meeting in the morning. Hope I feel better enough. Going back to my plant based mostly raw food plan.

Oh tatoulia, I hope you are not sick!

Lila, you did a good job on your cabinet. Try to rest.

I did not do enough evaluations. I am going to have to squeeze in a few here and there all week and next weekend is still going to be awful again. I have got to find a better way to organize information on the classes to have records that become evaluations easily.

My house is slowly getting worse. But only slowly. Dh cleaned the coffee maker and the range hood and the tops of all the kitchen cabinets today.

It is mostly the moop.

If it was just about me, I would just tell mil I wasn't coming - easy. But what I will actually do is whatever Dh says. Because I love him, and he is the only person who can decide if it would be better for him to go alone or have me there.

Tomorrow is a Bean day.

Great work, Lila! You are amazing!

I am tired and disjointed and having vivid nightmares every night. I wonder if this is a covid thing. Not usual for me. But here I am. Caught up on posts and glad for the progress you guys are making. SubC I feel like when I "have to" go to a social event I don't want to go to, I am very tempted to come down "not feeling well" so I can stay home. I don't lie, I just really do not feel well about going to the event. I tell them I want to stay home and rest. Not sure if that would work for you.

As it is, I have a positive covid test keeping me home, and though I did want to stay home and opt out of things this week, I don't feel well enough to get much done or relax, so this is not enjoyable. I am exhausted.

However, when I felt ok enough yesterday, I did my spice cabinet. It was such a wreck - everything thrown and mixed in, spilled, can't find anything. I pulled everything out of both shelves, took out the little spice stairs and washed them, and washed out the cabinets. Then I sorted. I found several duplicate seasonings that I was able to pour together into one and combine, and threw out the empty jars (instead of keeping them like I tend to do). I found some expired things I threw out. I poured the sugar into the sugar bin. I got both shelves all organized, put things I rarely use in the back and things we use daily in the front. I put the spice stairs back in and spices on them. It looks nice now AND you can close the cabinet door. I am proud of myself for getting that done.

I'm not feeling well at all. I have a terrible headache and acid reflux. I'm scared. I'm feeling the weight of the pandemic upon me and if feels terrible.

Mom was good. I changed the litter box and hung up her clothes, found her missing boots, took the trash out. We are getting along really well. I must've read her mind because I brought her eggos and real maple syrup and she was so pleased. And those were the first two things on her grocery list.

I'mAt my friend's apt now. Her cat is adorable. It's merely a coincidence that she looks just like my cat.

Okay, going to find the strength to go home with this headache.

Sending you warm and healing thoughts, Lila. I am upset to hear that you are battling this terrible illness for the second time.

I don't know what to say about the upcoming party, SubC. Human relationships are complex. It's easy for me to sit back and say, don't go, but that doesn't take into account everything. Relationships, health, mental health, need for socializing, need for celebrations.

Road, I do know that feeling of having a mental barrier around doing something, and I see your issue with the laundry. Maybe next time you are doing work to your house, you can think about putting the washer someplace else. Just something for you to dream about or think about, while you are in the basement.

I know that my mental block with the dining room table is I do not have a place to put the stuff that's on it. That's the only reason I'm not doing it. Pretty lame. I just need to get rid of stuff.

I used to hate emptying the dishwasher until I got rid of stuff in my cabinets and made room.

Okay, I'm feeling well enough to leave friend's apt.

CM I hope some acceptable weather heads your way soon. I know that you find satisfaction in working on the storage space. I wish I could get you out here to deal with my dining room table. The mental block could use your skills!

I slept past noon today. I am not getting proper sleep at proper times.

They have lifted the lockdown at mom's, so I will head over. I have to feed friend's cat, so I'll want to try to get downtown before too dark. Having a lot of anxiety. Job and covid. They are causing me some stress. One because my direct manager, very tough, is no longer in the honeymoon phase with me and is correcting me a lot. Her corrections are completely valid. She is smart and experienced. She's valid and being fair. It's just unnerving.

I'm keeping up with things here. Closer on the dining room table. I'd love to know what my problem is. Rest of house is clutter-free.

Okay will make my breakfast. At 1:45 PM.

Hi road, we crossed.

I do that with my Dh and he gets mad. We have finally come to the point where he understands that I am a bit like the puppy. If he praises my little effort, I am likely to make another little effort, and another, and another.or a bigger effort. Otherwise I'll just give up and backslide and he'll get the behavior he doesn't want. I think we're all a bit like the puppy.

My mil is not sassy. She's completely lacking in empathy and situationally tone deaf. It is fil's little brother who is dying. His situation is one that can be interpreted as self inflicted. Mil is likely to do something like comment on the offerings at the party and point out that fil has always lived a life of moderation and avoided bad habits and that is why he made it to 80 when a lot of other people don't. And how healthy he still is even at his age (subtext, let that be a lesson to you all.)

Mil has a history of being awful to people who are grieving. I don't think she does it on purpose, I just don't think she's capable of understanding that you might be upset. And she genuinely seems to feel that you can be comforted by logic filtered through her values. "You shouldn't be sad that your friend died. They were probably in a lot of pain and their treatment was very expensive. If they had lived longer they would just have suffered more and the bills would have been terrible for their family." (She didn't say that, but it's comparable to other things she has said.) she really thinks that when you hear that statement you should recognize the facts of the situation, and be perfectly happy. And definitely stop moping around and making everyone else (her) uncomfortable or inconvenienced.

Sub c, grief is quirky. I was shocked at how little it took for me to burst into tears leading up to my sons mri. Just any little thing and I'd burst into tears. I've never bitten my lip so much in my life (trying to contain my crying)... when my sisters husband d ied of cancer (years ago), she seemed grieved but not out of the ordinary, but when one of her dogs died a few months later she totally went off the deep end. It's not that she didn't love her dog but i think it was more of a delayed reaction from her husband. I had three other friends who lost their husbands the same year and they all dealt with it in completely different ways and time frames. One started dating a few months later. She and her husband were close and she'd really been there for him and it was like there was nothing unresolved so she could move on. My sister Waited a few years then dated then gave it up and then she'd try it again and then gave it up. I don't think she will try again. She and one other friend had to move houses. Too much to deal with staying there... They both proceeded r ight into buying their way through til. Their new places were filled up with new stuff... grief burbles out in surprising ways... ANYWAY , I hope if you guys do go to the fil's 80th your mil will behave. Is she super sassy?

Oh and Lila, interesting thought on the puppy behavior. Maybe I will try taking her out on a leash again for awhile and reinforcing the outdoor praise. Thanks for your advice on that!

Goid mirning!

Nice job Lila!

I got half as many evaluations done yesterday as I had hoped. I did get feed, and we did go to the concert. I did not get to do yoga.

I also washed, dried, and put away a load of laundry, and washed another load and put it in the dryer when I went to bed.

The order in the house is definitely slipping, and I do not have time for another big push right now - not until I finish these stupid evaluations. I also have some serious lesson plan demands. So of course, I've been up for half an hour and done nothing but make coffee, drink coffee, and read the paper online.

I am tired, I am stressed, and I have too much on my plate.

We are supposed to travel east for a party for fils 80th bday in less than 3 weeks. I worry about snow, I worry about covid, I worry about the fact that fil's brother (and Dh and my favorite uncle) has just been released to hospice in the town where the party will be and who the heck thinks this is a good time for a party? I am bad at death. I am bad at grief. When my grandfather remarried, I finally started processing my grandmother's death - I started crying in school the day of the wedding. I kept crying through the rest of my classes, my entire driving test after school (I passed), the wedding, and the reception. The odds of Dh mother saying something stupid and insensitive are very high. The odds of my causing a giant scene at the party in response are even higher.

Today - chores, daily goals, lesson plans and try not to make the house much worse.

Lila, hope you are hanging in there ok. Sounds like my sister got Covid again. She was a few days from getting boosted. She had a delay due to having gotten a treatment last time she had it back in October. She feels crummy but not as bad as last time and she said some different symptoms this time. Naturally, the people she works with who are lax with the masks and blew off the vaccine did not get very sick or are denying they had it and spread it around. I wish the transmission was more visible to people... like a blue pool dye in the air around us and a way to track your impact... like a personal Covid dashboard. "Congratulations, you are not responsible for killing anyone today!" Or "your Covid vector spread has now resulted in 336 transmissions, 853 lost days of work, $9,381 in lost wages, $87,399 in medical bills, and 3 deaths."

Tatoulia, I want to get to that point with the laundry. That it's just something you do, not a big accomplishment. Actually, I don't mind doing laundry, or folding,,, For me the aversion is to the schlepping - heaviness of the baskets and avoidance of flights of stairs, the first joint pain involved, and going into the yucky basement. I've thought maybe if I try to make it a habit to just go down to the basement once a day cause once I'm down there I don't have as much of an aversion to it... Must say it's been a lot better since I got my floor clean and have to keep up with the laundry to some degree to maintain the floor situation...

Yesterday the H said he was going to the thrift to drop off and I panicked and questioned him (tried to play it cool but I was panicking) are there any antiques involved? Is it all your stuff? Then he felt the need to lecture me on how I need to get rid of stuff and how much stuff I need to get rid of,etc. and my boast of just having donated two large bags really fell flat. And about my brothers place he offered this wisdom "if he could just get into a cleaning routine - do some every week..." lol thank you, Einstein! Now why didn't we think of that! Lol

Back later!

Coming back to update.

I did scrub the kitchen sink and it looks much better. I wiped down one counter, but need to work on the other ones. I have a ripe pineapple sitting on the other counter and I need to go back in there and cut it up, and put a few other things away to get that counter wiped off.

I also washed the few dishes that were on the stove and cleaned up a bit.

My spice cabinet is a disaster. I had it all nice and organized a few months ago but people go in there and move everything around, put more stuff in, don't put things back and now you can't find anything and can't even shut the cabinet door. That will probably be my next project.

Ok... off to cut up that pineapple and then sit down with a bowl of it to eat.

Yes SubC, my sink is mostly empty and counters mostly cleared so I will find joy in that. I am trying to get some energy going. I don't really have symptoms anymore. Just tired and feel off.

This morning I cooked some peas and gravy to have on toast. I need to go in and clean up my mess and will wipe counters and scrub the sink. Then a break.

I noticed this morning there is a small pile of actual trash in my bedroom. It is good that I have kept it at bay to the point I actually notice when it starts again. I thought about how it started. I bought one of my kids some jeans for Christmas, but was not sure if they would fit or I might have to return them, so I saved all the packaging in a pile. Then as I had other small things I wasn't sure if I should keep the box or empty bottle etc it got tossed there. Then a few other things, receipts etc. I will clean up that pile and put it in the trash today.

No guarantees I will do anything else. We'll see.

Lila, go easy on yourself. You are sick.

Also, did you just say that your sink and counter are empty? I mean, if you are going to wash and wipe them, that means there isn't stuff piled on them, right? That is terrific.

Today is an evaluation say. I am unmotivated and uninterested. I actually want to putter around and make progress in my house. Maybe work in the barn or studio.

But what I have to do is: go pick up feed, write evaluations (unrealistic goal of 30). Then Dh and I have a concert again tonight that hopefully we will attend.

Ahhh my brain hurts and my eyes hurt and I am not getting anything done. Going to bed soon.

Road if she is looking right at you it could be wanting praise for potty. Sometimes people when training a puppy to potty outside, will give them big praise or a treat for going on command. But as they get older they don't praise or treat, or just send pup out on their own. She could be saying HEY MOM LOOK I AM PEEING LIKE YOU WANTED. Could be?

I will do something tomorrow. Today was day 3 of quarantine and I don't feel that bad. I got a document written, made a few calls and did the dishwasher. Tomorrow I will try and wash the nasty kitchen sink, wipe the counters down, and eat some healthy stuff. Then figure out what to declutter.

Keep chugging along CM! That was so nice to hear about your quilt!

Lila, I hope you feel better quickly!

I know pretty much nothing about dogs.

Road, I made it!

You are doing a goid job. Progress on a lot of things and way to go on the cubic inches! Getting those bags out is big because now they are gone and will never have to be dealt with again.

Tatoulia, I hope you got something to eat! My Dh had a nice dinner ready for me when I got home tonight. And the fire going. It's definitely nice when someone is home all day to feed the fire. The house is much warmer.

I think it's fine to give yourself credit for laundry. I am going to add my vitamin to my gabits list even though I have only forgotten it one time this year. And eggs. I keep leaving them out on the counter overnight instead of washing them and putting them away. There are never more than 2 or 3 these days, so there is no excuse.

Good work in getting the bags to the thrift store!

I did two loads of laundry today. I'm wondering if I find the laundry soothing or if I just like having the laundry clean. I used to count laundry as an accomplishment until I realized that it's my baseline so to speak. Doing laundry is something I do, like brushing teeth or making coffee. So I don't actually count it as an accomplishment unless I have to dig deep to find one.

I haven't eaten today and I'm a bit weak. Going to make dinner soon,

Cm, keep me posted on quilting. I'm interested... thinking of dipping my toe back in. Also curious what your routine is when you visit storage. I think what you said about your mindset is what I need to do too. Except my storage unit is the garage.

Lila, thanks for the tips. Actually our issue is not typical I think. She's trained to go out in that she rings the bell and we respond, she goes out at least once every 2-3 hours, more just after eating. When she's out if I say "potty" she will Pee on command. The issue is when she comes back in, if I remain in the kitchen, she will pee on the floor. This is what happened with the bed. She had just been out, came in, squatted on her bed and looked right at me. Oddly, if I'm out of the kitchen, she rarely has accidents. When she's out of the kitchen she tears around and kind of destroys everything in her path (hyper and heavy chewer)... *and has potty accidents. She does respond to "settle" and will sometimes sit, and typically does not have accidents in the kitchen or bathroom area if no one is there. It's when I'm in there. So I'm sure she's communicating something to me, but what,.. f you mom? Lol

Couple more things
- finished cleaning out microwave. And I'm leaving the exhaust fan on in the kitchen... I'm not sure what else I can do now for that burnt popcorn smell. Ugh.
- started taking down the exterior Christmas stuff. This is a week later than I like but no big whoop.

Sub c, hope you made it through your week ok. If you did, hey yeah you made it!!!

Hi, I am popping back in to report... I dropped off two large bags at the thrift store today! I repeat... approximately 3 cu ft of surplus sschtuff has vacated the building. For those playing along, that's 432 cubic inches.

Just jumping in to share a couple things I got done this am. I see a few others have popped in, too so I will come back again a little later and see what's up.

- worked with the puppy a little ( I was reminded that she's very smart so it's the humans who are to blame for her behavior,,,)
- Got gas
- cleaned out car (lots of mask trash and fast food trash)...
- straightened out some issues with my sons special Rec registration...
- prepped a large bag of donations and emptied a bin. Yay! I will check back when it has actually been donated.
- printed out project sheetS) this is a work sheet I use for jobs that have multiple steps, are multi-stage, or take more than a few hours)
- will use project sheet to figure out Christmas and bday gifts for my great nieces and nephews... I have a few things for this year that didn't get sent and I think some things from last year also. Arrrrgh.
- long call w bff - weekly life catch up
- prepping a new needlework project - turned into a reorg of the whole bin,
- and the usual getting ready for school, breakfast, meds for the ds & doggie care

hi all, I read your postings and am trying to get motivated to do a little bit today. I don't feel terrible. Last time I had covid I was incapacitated for weeks and had trouble breathing, had to go to the ER twice and was on meds, nebulizer, and 2 inhalers for weeks. This time I guess it is omicron because it is not bothering my breathing at all so far. Sore throat, on and off headache, and tired. Sleeping very long stretches but I feel pretty good once I get going in the day.

Road, I spent over a decade in dog training so maybe I can help a little. I don't know how old or how big your puppy is but rule of thumb is, they have to go out to potty every X hours, where X is how many months old they are. So a 3 month old needs to pee every 3 hours. Small or toy breeds tend to need to go out to potty even more often than that so if I had a 3 month old toy poodle I would take them out every 2 hours unless they have shown they can easily wait longer. Gradually increase. If you can't be home to take them out, you can lay down some potty pads in one area on hard floor and teach them to pee there but it is harder then to train them to only pee outside later. Also, If they pee in their bed they really needed to go out probably. We recommend crating a puppy whenever you cannot be watching them, and the crate should only be big enough for them to stand up and turn around. If it is bigger, they may start using one area as a potty area. If you are home and they go off and pee, then we recommend tethering. You just get a short leash like 4 or 6 feet and keep them leashed to you or to something right by you. Like if you are working in the kitchen tether them to a chair leg where you can see them. Then if they start sniffing and circling you can hurry and take them out.

I am going to take some vitamins and think about what I want to get done today. I guess I have a little brain fog going on too and wish I could have slept another few hours.

Choi choo CM. Good to hear from you! Congratulations on the good news for your son, Road. I know it's not over. Lila, I am sorry you are sick again. SubC, i am supporting you from afar.

One Christmas Eve, i preheated the oven at the BF's house and I was shocked to learn that it was filled with pots and pans. It would have never occurred to me to look in there. So then we had to remove hot pans from the oven. I think that's a sign that the person owns too much stuff.

Busy work day ahead. Can easily finish the dining room table. The rest of the house is in very good shape. I am behind on laundry but that's fine.