Wow, Porter, that would be very challenging to ignore. I have little experience in long term monogamy or marriage. The only monogamous relationship ive had for 27 years has been with my cartner(my 90 Toyota), but i actually had a few brief truck affairs in that time. I would think that would be like entering a hornet nest. Itd seem it could easily derail your efforts & momentum, as well as feeling good about yourself. At worst it could blow up everything in your life in a horrid way, at best yall could fall in love & live happily ever after. I dont blame you for considering taking that risk. If it were me i think id make a pact with myself to keep it at innocent flirting....at least until things change, meaning your daughter is well into college & adulthood, & your wife transitions to the next place.
Its funny how much the posts on this thread actually could just as easily be written by a group of clean freaks! ha ha I was thinking how the few worse-than-me-hoarders i know in real life have made me want to improve my place more than anyone....that is strange...ha ha
I have been working on my new garden & im really excited about it! Once it gets too hot ill work on the mess inside!
Tillie, what i did on my boat was i had 2 kitty grass containers that i staggered in growth stages so my cat always had one, while the new one could get more established. ~☆♡☆~

Porter, ive seen a lot lately about the use of urine for fuel. It makes great sense! Did you mean that urine is explosive, or gasoline???
Flying Harleys would be super cool & lots of people would want one! ha ha
It is great to have such an excitement about the future! So much of it is scary, but its great you are engaging in the good things!
Ive really liked the idea of the power producing bicycles. It seems good to literally create the power one uses....and the urine fuel furthers that ideal! 😀

Bedroom clean and clear! Dusted all surfaces, clean sheets, all clothes put away, about to vacuum!

Hi Everybody 🙂

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
Hi Porter 🙂

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
Wonderful long post! 😀
Thank you, I have been babying my pulled muscles but also gently exercising them.
WAY TO GO!!!! for everything done and your future planning too! 😀
Once those memory triggering papers are sorted out and gone you will feel a great weight lifted from you. (((HUGS)))

Hi Subclinical 🙂
WAY TO GO!!!!! for that cleared counter! 😀
Extra points for putting the stuff in the room it belongs in, shredding old papers and getting the recycling in the car. 😉

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Happy the vitamins have helped (((HUGS)))
So nice your friend knows and respects your personal tastes/styles.
It will be fun searching for the right chandelier.

Slept in this morning and it made a world of difference.
Figured out why I am sleeping poorly.
Scooter has been laying on my legs keeping me from turning.
I think he is afraid because the coyotes have been coming around here at night.
Went into town before noon just because I needed to get out.
Went to the thrift shop and bought 2 new pair of socks, a light green pair and a pretty pink pair.
Also got a really pretty genuine garnet bracelet.
All together it all cost me one dollar.
Best part was talking to some people I know. 😀
Came home and started watering the garden and just enjoying all the plants and being outside.
Marty (the cat) caught a large lizard and I got it away from him before he hurt it badly.

Porter, by 'transitions to the next place', i meant to Heaven, not the next house.

It's a great feeling to have guests.

I give up getting drawn into my wife's hoard.
It was manageable , and cleaned. But is now like a tsunami has gathered debris and plowed it across the back of the house.

I imagine there are things that have long been destroyed, but she believes are there somewhere.

I truly believe she tries to dominate space with her clutter.
So I give up. On her hoard this week.
It's still somewhat manageable because the large pieces she wasn't emotionally attached to. Are gone. I will make an inventory the next time. And put back exactly the way I had it before.
Valuables, large , small.

If this is how it's going to be then I can deal with it. Wish she could.

Here's some short videos.

Urea into local Self made hydrogen fuel.
https://youtu.be/f48zowFhVFA

Hydrogen motor cycle
https://youtu.be/ZhlwuSs6uPM

Flying vehicle
https://youtu.be/DYBZxEvd9Lo

Very short videos and no spelling errers ;p

I think that fabulous tat.
A professional designer , how motivating!

CM
Keep whittling away , it will get to a point where the only thing left is to redecorate. And that's like better than any high .

Tillie, although I've always know about play time, creative outlet, it wasn't until you said it , right when I needed to hear it and do it.

I do go on and on about things, many totally unrealistic and unrelated to hoarding. It's apart of my process though. For now I have way too much to do to move. I can't afford a single 4hour lapse over the next three weeks. So I'll put my ego house with hydrogen heliport on hold. But I'll be thinking all about it. It's my escape from the real world.

No , the clusterphuq property management gave us only 20 days to move, and my wife won't help me with moving expenses. So I'm stuck .
I don't have enough to move until I have only a weekend left to meet the deadline. So I have high anxiety about it. But nose to the grind stone , everything being packed tightly all in sequences.
All my stuff, all daughter stuff, all wife stuff, all kitchen stuff, all laundry stuff, all appliances, all outside stuff

Currently I'm moving everything down stairs except the bed and drum . Those will be the very last things to move.
Her last day of eight grade is the 25th of May and we're are expected to be out the 24th , she goes on field trip to Chicago on the 25th so not saying its perfect but it fits. It fits that I didn't want to move her to more than 3 schools in her school life, till college. So I'm glad the first 11 year hurdle from preschool to 8th grade was all under the same roof.

I started her early. She may be held back if I choose to so. My thinking is if she becomes depressed after her mother passes, I send her to online school and get a tutor to help her with math. And then restart as freshman again at a new school . But that's the back up plan, for now. I'll see how she does if she makes good friend and has great study habits, otherwise. I'll need to pull on cord , and readdress expectations. She's to prepare for college. That means doing well with college prep courses.
Her mother will be gone, I'm 48 and will be almost 57 by the time she graduates college. There no one to help her. And things haven't been great with her and her aunt. I roll my eyes.

I'm all for her going to aunts after my wife's passing , and if doesn't work out I can play parent hold back card. And repeat that year somewhere else.

But I understand how hard it is to lose a parent , and then the other remaining parent send you away.

So I'll just let it play out, and see how things are going , before I put any ideas out there for them.

It's a good day.

I have a plan .
I'm moving the upstairs , downstairs .
1 or 2 large things at a time.

And moving everyone's packed items into separate rooms.
Wife's room is untouched by me.
I'm forcing her to get a helper, and I'm not doing any of it.
Only because she harangue me about every little thing. And I'll get now where where there's so much to do.
Whatever they can't figure out I'll come behind and move to storage, .

Daughter and I are already fully purged.

I have asked for help from tow of my wife's friends.

I'm asking then to help transport and organize the the closets.
Due to mice, I'm taking everything to laundromat.
And having it all sorted, washed and dried at the laundromat .Then the helpers take over. I told them it the can get a handyman or someone to help with shelving would be great. And they are actually looking forward to it.

Nothing consumes my time during a move than arguments about closet space . And having to cut shelving and making adjustments. So I'm handing that off to some other person. I made sure it wasn't her closest of friends though, I can foresee a possibility where my turns turn into a grimalkin.
And she loses a bestie.

Well I gotta get back the next thing in the list.
I have a list of 20 . Ten next big things, and ten next small things. I get alot of that done. More than just by priority alone.

Sorry for rough draft and not editing

Thank you for the welcome Tatoulia, and Tillie for the enthusiastic cheering!

As I am reading more, it appears that Tillie, you are not the hoarder but the hoarder's partner? How do you keep up your enthusiasm for supporting people cleaning out? Has the hoarding improved at your house?

I don't know the backstory on the chandelier, but I am a big fan of getting the things you really want and not getting things you don't want. We are currently building an addition (long story) and I think we will have bare bulb porch lights for a long time because we can't find any we actually like and don't want to spend money on one we don't like.

It was really nice to get up this morning and have clean counters to fix breakfast and pack lunches for dh and dd! A good start to the day.

Porter,
You are in a very vulnerable state right now.
Your Wife's illness, your growing up teenage daughter, being forced to move and all the other trials & tribulations you are going through.
Any kind of dalliance would unnecessarily complicate everything for you.
You still need a lot of time to come to grips with the hand life has already dealt to you.
Mentally and emotionally you will not be ready for any kind of new relationship for at least two years after your Wife passes.
Please take your own wellbeing to heart and make sure to nip any advances in the bud.

Sincerely, Tillie (((HUGS)))

It's been a really long day.
Up at 5am for no reason, got to be at work in 2 hours. I'll try to sleep.
I just saw the fly car,
I've seen other flying cars and floating tanks ect...

But this concept of a 200lb hover lift. 40 mph.
All electric. I think it will take off.

It's not how incredible it is, it's how safe and how cheap. From the parts I see it will be a $1,000 vehicle and will coat about $50 a month to get back and forth to a job 50 miles away.

The planet so needs this right now.

There have been something's I wanted to see before I die.
Cheap energy. Check
Cheap disaster proof housing check
Flying cars. Check
Man on Mars.

My hoard gone, not realizing what that means to my wife.

Good to hear from you Anony and grateful that the fires have been contained.

I can't measure the 20%! But it's a goal that I can work toward. I would love to have 20% fewer possessions. It will take serious cuts, which will be hard considering how much has been pared down in all these years. But I'll work toward it.

I'm hoping to take at least one thing to the consignment shop tomorrow. I have it ready to go. I am having second thoughts. I think it is saleable/very dear object but it's part of the process. I can't clear out without clearing out. I have to do it.

I love a clear bedroom , with clean sheets.

Hello everyone! SubC it's good to have that feeling of clean counters. I cleaned my bedroom earlier this week and it is just so nice. I need to remember this feeling for the times I "don't feel like" cleaning!

Good shopping, Tillie!

I am working from home today and trying to find some moments to pick up a little. I am taking mom for haircut later tonight. It's cold but a short walk/wheelchair ride.

I'll report back soon--I need to pack for an overnight for this weekend.

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
My plan was to get this first pot started and when it was about <5> inches tall start the next batch.
The pot was on the sunny window sill that the cats never sit on because I made the better sunny window sill 8 inches deep to accommodate their fat fuzzy butts.
This time I will try placing one of those mesh/net dome type covers that are for keeping flies off picnic foods over it.

Good Evening Everyone 🙂

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Wonderful that your friend is visiting! 😀
Hope you all had a great time (((hug)))

Hi Porter 🙂
Nope, I did not get hurt on my stuff.
I got tangled up with his hoard.
My stuff is very minimal and tidy. LOL
His stuff is heaped up, tossed into big heaps and generally a very spooky nasty jumble that is heaped up higher than I am tall.
Sometimes I need to make my way through it to access other areas of the property.
When the insurance company discovered the hoard they immediately cancelled our home owners insurance, it's that bad.
My only hope is that I die before him so I am not left to clean up this mess all by myself.

Feeling so much better today. Movement does not hurt hardly at all! 😀
I moved the sprinkler around to water the grass.
Also cooked up some stir fry and cleaned the kitchen.
Tomorrow I plan to do some laundry and wash the cat's litter boxes.

Good to hear from you Anony and grateful that the fires have been contained.

I can't measure the 20%! But it's a goal that I can work toward. I would love to have 20% fewer possessions. It will take serious cuts, which will be hard considering how much has been pared down in all these years. But I'll work toward it.

I'm hoping to take at least one thing to the consignment shop tomorrow. I have it ready to go. I am having second thoughts. I think it is saleable/very dear object but it's part of the process. I can't clear out without clearing out. I have to do it.

Hello to all!!!
Porter, i continue to be amazed at your intelligence, creativity & drive! I cant imagine functioning as well as you do in any of those circumstances?!! 😀
Tillie, it is nice you seem to have a relaxing day happening with no hard projects or anything challenging or upsetting! That is good! It seems you would benefit from more days like this?!
CM, WOW!!! How wonderfully exciting that you are getting so much done! That is fantastic! You go, girl! 😀
Tatoulia, this decorating sounds so exciting! What a difference it will make! All of your hard work will pay off & it will be like a nice new home! Im not sure id feel as comfortable not being there with that work being done, tho? Maybe im projecting my own bad experiences of doing that?
~☆~You are all doing such great stuff! Im so glad for each of you & also inspired!~☆~
....im really enjoying the outside of my place....its the inside i just cant seem to get anywhere with...

I see we have a new person - welcome, may I call you SubC too? And most here call me CM! 😀 I've enjoyed reading your posts. Good motivation going on there!

I'm not doing much today as I think I need to rest. I went to my quilting guild at church, and we quit an hour early - it had started to rain and we were at a stopping point. I'd told my quilting buddy I'd meet her for lunch, but right after that as we were all heading out, it started pouring and the wind picked up. I was driving and kind of freaking out - visibility was I'd estimate 1/8 of a mile if that. I was trying to get the radio weather but having trouble. Street was getting flooded. (And it was dripping onto me in my van from where the roof leaks - yuck.) So I pulled into an apartment parking lot for awhile.

It let up enough after a few minutes I was able to get to the restaurant. But inside I felt oddly woozy for a moment. Then I was okay, we ate, she went home, I went to Hobby Lobby a few minutes then home to walk the dog. I'd been wondering if it'd clear and maybe I could go to my storage unit and work on my six boxes of papers. But as I was contemplating getting ready, I kept seeing a bright spot in my vision. Like the sort I get at the start of an optical migraine. It didn't develop into one but it didn't go away for quite awhile either.

I got to thinking about the full moon and the fact that my pet tree frog has croaked 3 days in a row, which usually means he is sensing atmospheric changes associated with storms. And I haven't had all that great of sleep lately. That's when I decided to blow off the afternoon and have a nap, as soon as I finish this post. I hear we may get some heavy storms later - hope they aren't too bad.

I think I also have oak mite bites on my legs - probably from when we were clearing out those tree branches in the backyard. That's what the gals at quilting thought anyway. Whatever it is, those suckers ITCH. 😛 I put Chigarid on but will need to reapply. Oh well, minor annoyance. I'll probably stay home tomorrow and do stuff, even though I'm impatient about the storage unit, but Friday's forecast is better. And hopefully my legs will itch less too, LOL!

Hi Everybody 🙂

Hi Subclinical 🙂
He knows he is a terribly severe hoarder and is quite happy about it and plans to never change.
He goes out of his way to clutter up any and every available space.
All the hoarded places are quite squalorous & nasty.
We have Deer mice (hantavirus) and desert pack rats (possible Bubonic plague), black widow & recluse spiders, scorpions, yellow jacket wasps and snakes all living in his clutter.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Oh GEE!
Wonder why Scooter's name comes to mind.
Even though he pesters everything he comes across and never leaves anything alone.
He swore he is innocent, never even saw that pot of cat grass.
He also pointed his paw at the 4 other cats living in the house.
;D

Glad you are feeling better, Tillie! Had a great day yesterday with visiting friend!

Working from home today, so that means I'm working on laundry! Gray and cool--my kind of day!

I hope I can get some household chores done tonight after work.

Good Morning Everyone 🙂

Hi Porter 🙂
Very interesting and thought provoking reading about all the different energy making ideas.
Keep up the GREAT job you've been doing on the home front.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Good Luck with your 20% reduction goal!
I know it's hard work making all those decisions
but you will be so happy you did it now rather than waiting until you are older or being forced to do this in a short amount of time later.
(((hugs)))

Beautiful calm warm morning here.
Drinking my tea and taking it slow.
My plan for today is to make no plans.
All caught up on all the "need-to" get done stuff.
Rib injury is so much better, I can easily move around now without much pain. 😀

Hello to all!!!
Porter, i continue to be amazed at your intelligence, creativity & drive! I cant imagine functioning as well as you do in any of those circumstances?!! 😀
Tillie, it is nice you seem to have a relaxing day happening with no hard projects or anything challenging or upsetting! That is good! It seems you would benefit from more days like this?!
CM, WOW!!! How wonderfully exciting that you are getting so much done! That is fantastic! You go, girl! 😀
Tatoulia, this decorating sounds so exciting! What a difference it will make! All of your hard work will pay off & it will be like a nice new home! Im not sure id feel as comfortable not being there with that work being done, tho? Maybe im projecting my own bad experiences of doing that?
~☆~You are all doing such great stuff! Im so glad for each of you & also inspired!~☆~
....im really enjoying the outside of my place....its the inside i just cant seem to get anywhere with...

Hey CM, good job in keeping your spirits up despite some bumps in the road today! Glad you did not get e migraine.

My day has been a bunch of screw ups here and I'm trying to take in stride.

SubC--I started calling you that without asking if OK! Hope it is!

Will go try to make the second half of my day better than the first half.

Hello everyone I'm home from my overnight trip. Kitty held together just fine.

It was good to come home to a clearer house. I said clear not clean. I've cleared out quite a bit and need to keep the momentum this weekend.

I have some artwork that I'm not currently hanging and I am going to have to look deep into my soul about. I got rid of 5 pieces recently. There are a few that I am not ready to give up. I may postpone a decision til my decorator is here. I might also just find closet space for now. I am not ready to say goodbye.

Earlier this week I worked on my dining room closet. The closet has wonderful shelves and filing cabinets--California Closets designed and made it for me. I have mom's china , among other things, on the shelves. I did organize two of the china shelves better and it freed up some space. in the room, where I have my bookshelves, I started cleaning and clearing the top of the bookshelves and it looks so much nicer without stuff on top. I'll finish that up and get to dusting over the weekend.

I want to keep plowing ahead. I want to make the tough choices and let things go. And with your help, I will.

Hello, glad to find you all. I thought Phase Six seemed kind of inactive - now I know why!

You can't get rid of me that easily, LOL! 😀

Most of the rain has moved out of our part of the state although it looks like Tuesday we might have some again. It's still chilly in the house and only the space heater. I let my roommate decide when it goes on - she wouldn't mind if I used it myself but I'm so forgetful. Don't want to start a fire. So I just throw on extra clothes & blankets! I also do household things that generate a little heat, such as laundry and ironing. I might bake something later, time permitting.

On Saturday it was rainy but not pouring so we went to the big stores. I got a DVD/CD-ROM USB external drive for my laptop. It was quite reasonable on sale and the built-in one hasn't worked for awhile. At Walmart I got a file box for my health & other papers, and (don't laugh) a Ken doll. He's for a model for my Barbie clothes sewing, for when I display the clothing for sale on my future online shop. I have several Barbies and a couple of Kens, and felt the gentlemen needed more representation! 😉

My roommate ordered a new laptop and bought a new printer. I inherited her old one, which works fine hooked up via USB instead of wireless. I shall use it for my scanning of photos - I reckon it may be faster. I can now recycle my old one and an ancient laptop that was in my storage.

On a more serious note - Porter, you're doing the right things as best you can in an extreme situation. Sounds like you're trying not to be a "codependent" to your wife's hoard. Good for you on that. I don't know her but from what you've said of her state of health, I wonder if she might be using the hoard as a distraction from deeper fears. I hope it works out better for all your family. Hang in there.

Tillie, hope the pain and depression are lessening and you'll feel more energetic again soon. Don't overdo in the meantime!

Anony, hope the fires are gotten under control and you don't have to evacuate.

Hi Tillie!

You are right, I will be happy with the decisions I make, Anything to reduce. I know saying 20% is arbitrary but I need to work toward something. I just need to keep paring down. Constant edit. I just need to keep editing my house.

I took the day off to spend with my visiting friend. We went to the consignment shop and I picked up my check. Both of my items had sold, I didn't bring more items but I will do so very very soon, I have one large piece of furniture that I am not sure of just how to get it to the shop. I will worry about that some other time. For now, I just need to keep moving forward

I know I can do this and I know I'll feel better. This is about feeling better not keeping stuff. I need to remind myself that a dirty messy house in the summer really hurts me to the core.

Glad you are feeling better dear Tillie, Hello to everyone!

Diane, if you ever read these, I think of you a lot, and I miss you, it doesn't matter if your house is perfect or terrible. I just miss you,

Anony & Porter--great to hear from you!

I have no fear of leaving house while designer works with my place. She has excellent taste and will work with my existing things and art. She has a very good painter who will paint and paper as necessary. She may make slip overs for furniture and she might do other things but she won't be painting my antiques. She and I antique when she is in the US and she know my taste and I know hers. I am not afraid. Kitty and I will go stay at BF's during the process. She initially thought she'd need 4 days but if I send her the dimensions of the rooms she will be able to plan it out and may only need two days. I'm very excited. She has wonderful taste, with one of her houses (that she lives in) having been featured in an overseas version of Architectural Digest. I have seen many pictures of her homes and although we do not have the same taste, she will be working with my existing items and artwork, she is free to do essentially whatever she likes. I trust her completely and she will take into account that I have a pet.

Had such a good cleaning day today. I'm no Porter, to be sure, but excellent day. BF and I also went to mom's to help out and make a few adjustments to how her house is arranged.

SubC is fine.

I am glad you didn't get a migraine CM, they are awful! I'm a little jealous of your quilting. Some day.... The last quilt I made was 22 years ago. - but I have plenty of fabric!

Tatoulia, I hope the second half of your day was better.

I took 4 mugs to work for a coworker who will get them to a place that helps former foster kids set up their first apartments.

I brought home two storage buckets from class, but they will be washed and returned on Friday - no issues.

The grocery shopping though - Ug! I went to the butcher deliberately instead of shopping out of the case because he normally wraps my meat in paper. Instead he wrapped it in plastic on not one, but two stacked plastic trays. It was like that when he came out with it, and I know that if I ask for paper instead, he'll just rip open the packing and throw it away. Those trays are going to be a problem later. I also bought strawberries and tomatoes in plastic cartons, which will be another problem for me. And Dd's yogurt came in a plastic tub that doesn't recycle. But it's 32 oz, so I can probably plant something in it and give it away. (I live on a small homestead farm, I often give away baby trees and such.)

There is nothing extra on the counter right now but Dd's used lunch containers and the strawberries and tomatoes that won't fit in the fridge yet. When dh gets home we are having a leftover buffet for dinner, but I think I need to clean out the fridge. There is a lot of milk (goats) so I should make cheese tomorrow instead of hoarding it until it goes sour!

No mail today (I stopped as much direct marketing type stuff as possible, so some days we don't get mail.) and I used some coupons, so paper out!

Hi porter, that sounds rough! I don't know you well enough to really offer advice, but just an idea - could you buddy up teenage daughter and sis in law during the move?

Anonymoniker, I'm a gardener too. We've had a lot of rain, but I'm hoping to get done work done this weekend.

Wow Tillie, you guys must have a really strong relationship! I thought dh and I were solid, but I think he would leave.

Tatoulia, your closet sounds lovely! I'm glad you had a good trip.

I got ahead on the paper again. Up one gallon of milk for the day, kitchen is a little messy, but just dishes messy. I am not a dried/spoiled food dishes piled around hoarder - just a lazy housewife who often doesn't unload the dishwasher until there is a whole new load in the sink and on the counter (rinsed). Rarely does anyone else who lives here do dishes.

I have hurt my ankle and am hobbling around. I don't remember doing it, but it is swollen and hot (and sore)