Thanks tatoulia,

Making myself accountable to someone (besides my boss) helps.

I got the evaluations done. I'll proof read them this evening and turn them in by the deadline at 9 tomorrow. (Probably before I go to bed)

The inspector came and we passed.

Drywall is delivered. Kitchen is better, laundry is reduced to what fits in the basket.

Dd is making dinner tonight,so I am going to walk up for the mail, process that, stir the red glaze, shower, and go to the food bank. I will triage the never ending list again tomorrow.

Btw, I tore the tush of those shorts this morning, so they are going, and the new pair was just in time!

Hi Everybody 🙂

Hi Subclinical 🙂
Sounds like things went very well today! 😀
YEA! for new shorts just in the nick of time.
WTG! for getting so many things done and especially the inspection passing.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
WTG! for getting the bathroom tidier 😀
Your hair is the exact opposite of mine. Mine is a super curly nightmare. LOL 😀

Hi Joan 🙂
I truly understand having physical limitations.
I have an abdomen full of cysts and tumors that at times twist and burst causing me to be very ill and in incredible pain.
That is why I am unemployed.
But I do my best when I can, that's all we can do. (((HUGS)))

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂

Hi CM 🙂

HI Porter 🙂

Watered everything outside today then spent the rest of the day making fabric strips for rag rug making.
Need to go grocery shopping soon, all out of fresh produce and want a cantaloupe too.
But really don't want to go to town or put on shoes.

~♡~Greetings, y'all!~♡~
I got myself so worked up yesterday, i got dizzy & weak & thought i was having a stroke or heart attack! I laid down & slept almost 12 hours. Its not just this horrendous mess that i cant seem to fix, its also my situation with my family. Theres so much that i cant even say on here...
Joan, you are right about how often crying & upset can be a new level of learning about to break through. I do want that. As bad as some of this really is, i do also often not acknowledge real obstacles, like my wrist that easily gets reinjured. I feel like im making excuses, but it is very real! Also, the heat outside is very real! Feeling faint working in it is real, not imagined. I want so much to do this myself, but im just not able to. Youre right Tillie, hiring someone younger may be just what i need for all the reasons you listed!
Im very grateful today to be alive & still functioning just fine! ~♡~

Hah! Anony, I am constantly reassuring myself that I am not making excuses.

Tillie, I feel bad that you have to go through that.

My movement disorder (cheek biting) was dismissed for decades as "just emotional". I got dumped into the alleged "mental health system". It took me about 35 years just to get one doctor to take the problem seriously. No-one (not even the providers I see every week) realize how devasting this disoder is. My brain does not work right at any time. My sleep could hardly be called "sleep" most of my life. For the last 3 years I have been seeing a chiropractor, now every week since last September, because the bitng twists my head off my neck. I often have been getting vertigo and balance issues.

After a recent setback these last two days were great, so time spent not bitng gives me hope. In this lifetime I have to work with what I have. Newer modalities (like homeopathy and the type of yoga that I practice) help a lot. In coming times I expect medical systems to address actual needs of patients, rather than just disposing of "defective people".

That is my rant for tonight. Be well.

Anony--do not overwork yourself--esp in heat and humidity. I have an extremely low tolerance for heat, humidity and direct sun. I get sick very easily in the heat. Sometimes in the summer I wait at the office til seven before going home, just so i can take public transportation without it being too crowded and hot. I've also been known to carry a ziplock bag of ice to put on my wrists. You must be very, very careful.

We are expecting heat here next week. Not looking forward to that. I rarely make plans in the summer because I know if it's hot and humid, I won't be up for it. Snowstorm expected? I will meet you for dinner and a movie!

Tillie! My cough is working it's way through my body. I am tired of it. It gives me a headache.

Hope everyone is well and happy. I slept after work tonight then had to go up to mom's at 10 because she was having some problems. TV wouldn't work, she was hungry, etc. I'm now home and showered. Have a wedding tomorrow -- looking forward to it.

Hi Everybody 🙂

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
I was thinking...
maybe a teenager or a college student would be good help for you.
They are cheaper than professional adults and they are still young enough that their opinions are not yet set in stone.
They might be better at understanding what you want done and how they can help you.

Hi Subclinical 🙂
Yes, lots of stuff still comes in all the time. 🙁
And a big YES! I am always thinking about going out to the electrical box and switching off the power. LOL ;D

I change my sheets every time I wash my hair, about every five days.
My sheets & pillow cases get fuzzy from the two cats that always sleep with me.
Or since they hog the bed I guess I should say I sleep with them.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Have you found a good forever place for the luggage?
That's always a hard one because you want it safe & clean and somewhere close.

Hi Joan 🙂

Hi Porter 🙂

Hi CriticalMass 🙂

Time spent getting the sleep our bodies need is never wasted time.
Time spent in quiet contemplation/meditation is never wasted time.
Spending all day watching cute cat videos or playing solitaire could well be considered wasted time.
Everything in moderation.

Dear Joan--somehow I missed your post. I feel terrible about your situation. How terrible. My heart breaks for you. Keep fighting. Dear thing.

Thank you, Tillie! Thats an interesting idea! Ive been thinking about how to go about that?! .....ive also been ridiculously emotional all day..crying over everything.....

This is a test post - Internet has had issues today. I have another longer post I saved that I hope to upload tomorrow. Meanwhile, if you're reading this, know that I'm thinking of all of you. Anonymoniker and Joan especially my heart goes out to you. May you find healing and strength. <3 <3

More later.

Hi anony,I hope you figure it out.

So along with not washing my sheets enough I wash my hair too much ;D

I'm really tired this evening and just coasting. I dropped off the recycling today and I bought one pair of shorts at the thrift store. I was fiddling with the hem of my shorts (dh calls out "OCD") and my thumb went through the fabric. Yesterday the button fell off another pair. I'm starting to look like a scarecrow. But I will keep these shorts for "good" (wearing in public) and still wear the old ones on the farm until my underwear shows.

Stirred the glaze.

Did a big to do list thing that will reduce my expenses by 40 cents a day.

Good morning everyone.

Tillie, did you get food?

I hate going out. Sometimes I imagine if it was just me here - I would only leave to go to work. And some days, i wouldn't be able to face stopping on the way home, so I would run out of all kinds of stuff. I'd live on rice pudding for days because there is always milk and I buy rice in huge sacks. It wouldn't taste as good once I ran out of sugar, but that still might not motivate me to go to the store. In the summer I would lose track of what day it was, start ignoring clocks....

This is part of why I take classes in the summer and volunteer at the food bank. It makes me leave the house. Also it makes me talk to people, which I know is important, even though it is hard. The depression used to hold off until October, or even November in a good year, but now it is hitting me in the summer. I don't know why. Maybe menopause? Maybe I am just lonely.

The transition out of school at the end of the year is hard. I had a really strong physical reaction to turning in the evaluations yesterday - like I had been doing hard physical labor for days. And I have been cold all week - which is crazy, because it'd been getting up into the 80s, but yesterday it was so bad my Renaults kicked in.

But now I feel like a whiner. My health is generally excellent. I feel awful for those of you who are struggling with severe physical limits and pain!

Anony, my brother suffers from a cooling disorder. He used to get hassled (even by teachers) for being a "wimp" because he had a doctor's note to miss gym if the temp was over 80. Plus he was supposed to opt out of some activities. He was a tough looking 6' tall teenager and he never would (probably because of the teasing) so my mom would get called to come get him because he had passed out and was grey and vomiting. I learned you don't mess with heat!

Joan, I'm glad you are seeing bright spots and progress!

Tatoulia I hope your cough is better soon!

I am going to try to focus on my garden and pottery this weekend. I finished the red glaze yesterday, so however much time that was (maybe half an hour total?) and I have two bottles of useable glaze worth about $27 total. See, the problem isn't that I save this stuff, it's that I have no follow through!

I set all the little yogurt cups I cracked the dry glaze out of aside to wash, but I think that actually I don't need them. I should probably throw them in the trash, right? They don't recycle. I can't think of another use for them. This is - oh, wait! My class can start plants in them in the fall! (This paragraph brought to you by my actual stream of consciousness. - so now I will wash the cups and set them aside until September. I need to make a place to store stuff for that class so I can find them.

When I was typing "this is" the next word was going to be "hard" and I was feeling sad and frustrated. Then I thought of the plants and I got a jolt of happy. If dh were watching that, he probably would have felt a tiny bit of hope (she's going to throw something away!) followed by dissapointment and disgust (nope. As usual.) I don't know what is right. I know he wants less stuff in our lives, but isn't it better to use things you already have rather than constantly creating garbage and buying new?

I have made a huge dent in the coming in. They still buy things, but I am trying to tell you everything - bought, accepted, salvaged - so you can see how I'm doing and give me good feedback. (oh, I bought a container of paint stripper last week for a furniture project - which I didn't mention because it is consumable. The dresser has been sitting in my garage for months.)

CM, I am looking forward to your post.

Hello everyone!

So good to hear from you. Dear Joan, I wish I could put a sheet on that bed for you. I know much of your time and energy is spent on your health. I am pleased your health is getting better. I am mentally making your bed for you.

Anony, I know that frustrating feeling--all of us here do. Sometimes I feel I abused my privilege of owning stuff and now I'm stuck with all this junk and a place that causes me shame. Breathe, take a walk, have a cool glass of water, tomorrow is another day.

SubC, you are doing a good job of more out/less in! I am so glad you are part of this group--very helpful to have you here!

Tillie, aww the two kitties sleeping with you! I seem to remember you hang your sheets outside to dry. So jealous! Love that feeling if percale cotton sheets, dried in the sunlight and air.

Well I still feel really sick. Went into office today. Came home and slept. Very sore throat and very painful. I didn't even have coffee today, I just waited to eat at lunch time and merely drank water. Hopefully tomorrow I'll see some improvement.

Thanks for the drive by CM! Looking forward to hearing from you.

SubC it is a real pleasure having you here! The group is active and this is so helpful to all of us. As to complaining, we are all entitled to complain! We are all safe here! And like you, we take and find our joys where we can.

Hello to everyone--doing laundry and a little relaxation before getting ready for the wedding. My big accomplishment this week was cleaning out a drawer in the bathroom and discovering that my hair dryer can fit in it! No longer just laying about.

Coffee clinks to all!

PS to SubC, slot of people I talk to change their sheets every two weeks. I don't think you are outside the norm. My hair is bone straight and I have to wash it on days I go to the office and if I'm going out for dinner or meeting someone or doing anything other than just errands. It gets all bumpy and odd from sleeping.

Good morning everyone!

Tatoulia, thank you for the encouragement. I'm not really sure if I'm managing more out than in, but I am trying. Since I am keeping the old shirts, yesterday was really an increas - the recycling had all come in from the grocery store recently.

Joan, I don't know your back story, but I am sorry you are struggling with such health issues! I also wish that someone (maybe your team in this realm) could fix your bed up for you. It seems like that might help with the quality of your sleep.

My big to do tasks for today are
make cheese
Freeze the rest of the cherries
And finish my evaluations.

Hopefully I also will be meeting with the building inspector, but the office isn't open to call yet.

Then I have work in the studio, work in the garden, work in the barn, laundry, dishes, dinner to make... The list goes on, but I won't get to all of that. Most important is to avoid spoiled milk and rotten cherries (and conserve resources!) and to keep in good standing at work. Focus!

Good morning!

Joan, thank you for your insights into Time. Also your comments on sleep and the changing cultural view of sleep. SubC, I enjoyed reading your post and learning more about you and your situation! Very helpful.

Tillie, re: making a to do list. I used to be a strong proponent of the to do list. I kept little lists and enjoyed checking things off as well as knowing I wasn't forgetting something I needed to do. In both college and grad school I was able to balance working, school and my household (such as it was) by keeping lists. In fact, many of my diary entries (which I shredded this year in favor of space) would contain lists of things to do. A while back I gave up on the lists, deciding that they were solid proof of my inertia and failures--somewhere along the line I just stopped taking care of things the way I used to.

Well, in preparing for my trip I made a list. I listed the things I needed to get done--mani/pedi, car inspected, dealing with the other car, paying bills, what mom needed, etc. and do you know what? I was ahead of schedule and I got a good portion of the list done. I'm thinking I need to go back to lists--give them another try. I'm sure I would have never found the time for the manicure & pedicure if not for my list. And other things/I was able to group things into days to make sure I'd get them done.

So, I'll give this list thing another try. I'll be specific enough (clean tub) rather than too general (clean house)

I'm proud of everyone's accomplishments--just seeing what we can achieve together is inspiring. Joan, I know that you suffer and how hard you work on your health. Hearing from you is always wonderful--I know it's not easy.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love to hear from everyone-- no matter the condition of your house, no matter what. I tend to stop posting when I stop doing. Magically, when I post, I get more done.

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

My To-Do lists are very simple.
I just jot down the things that really must get done.
Things that I might forget to do or schedule the time for.
The usual every day daily things like cat stuff I don't list.
But I do jot down to wash the litter boxes.
A lot of my lists contain only two or three things.
Routine daily stuff I don't need to remind myself to do.
It's the other less often done stuff I would tend to forget.
It's a great feeling when I can finally throw that daily list away 😀
Whenever I have to travel somewhere I always write out a long detailed list and check things off as I do them.

Well, another weekend has come & gone.
He spent many, many hours on the computer playing mind numbing games.
He spent half an hour finding things and putting them in the 1/3rd of the back of the truck and took them away.

My personal problem is that with the outside of this place looking so bad
I keep pushing myself to keep obsessively working in here to keep things clean and tidy.
The mess outside is a bad reflection on me as a woman and the housekeeper.
Really wish that I didn't have to wait for him to die before I can hire a crew to come in and help me clean up this mess.

~♡~Happy Hello to all!!!~♡~ 😀
SubClinical, i know what you mean about 'wasting time cleaning.' Ive also looked at that, trying not to use it as an excuse, but knowing there is a lot to that & not let life experiences slip away while im practicing self-discipline by cleaning some tiny area that i know will be filthy again in 2 weeks!
Joan, YES, SLEEP IS SO IMPORTANT!!! i am also regularly surprised by how so many health conscious people completely overlook getting enough sleep?!?
Tatoulia, Yes, lists are such a critical component to accomplishment for me and ive also gone through that exact thinking with setting my list goals too high! Lately ive been following my 3 a day rule of having 3 different goals a day, which does not include maintenance stuff, like you were referring to also, Tillie.
Tillie, i wish so much your situation could shift. Part of me thinks he should get praise for achieving the 1/3 truck load taken away, but the thing i can not, nor will ever get past, is him killing your cat. I have had that same thing done to me twice & has messed me up maybe more than anything in my life. I do wonder & am afraid to even ask, but is it possible for you to move to a better situation? ~♡~
Today i tried something new. Instead of taking hours to drink my coffee, cuz im really reading stuff on the internet, i decided to go for a walk first, while it was still cool outside. Im going to paint a plastic kitchen shelf turquoise today! Its outside being washed now! This should nicely compliment the clean cupboard & maybe even shift that entire area to something pleasant?!! 😀

Thank you for the tips re lists, Anony. Greatly appreciated. my list today includes emptying my suitcases, getting them out of the living room and finding a permanent home not just in my bedroom

SubC, even at my worst, I change my sheets at least once a week. Sometimes in the summer I change them twice a week. If I am sick, I also change much more frequently. The clean sheet feeling is just so wonderful. I make my bed everyday. Right now with my summer bedspread it takes a bit of time but I have a system. Generally when people ask me where to start, I suggest getting trash out, getting dishes done, and making the bed. A made bed changes the whole room (in my eyes). I would rather a pile of dirty dishes than an unmade bed.

Well garbage and recycling out, dishwasher emptied, emptied suitcases and have moved to bedroom/no permanent home located yet. I'm going to spend a few minutes getting ready for tomorrow then hop in bed.

I wasted a lot of time tonight. If I put music in, I putter and get things done. Tomorrow night I'll put the music on.

Hi everyone!

Porter, thinking of you and hoping your move is going well!

Anony, good for you on your walk! You can paint a plastic shelf? How did that go?

Tillie, I'm glad some stuff left, but wish it was more. I'm sure you can hardly see a change. Is stuff still coming in too? Do you ever want to cut the electricity?

I change my sheets once a week at my best. More like 3x a month.

My to do list is "everything that has to be done today or there will be negative consequences" plus the things I really want to do. I never get it all done, so there are always negative consequences or dissapointments or both.

Today wasn't too bad. More out than in - I dropped off the trash and plastic and just bought education and food. And my class was great!

Stirred the red glaze (it gets stirred 2-3 minutes every day until it is completely dissolved.)

Also, I got too caught up in the bread and forgot to tell you that I hope your hoarder makes some progress on the driveway this weekend!

My bottom sheet tore and peeled off my mattress about ten years ago, I'm guessing. My pillowcase gets washed with the one or two loads of laundry I manage to do every 4 to 6 weeks. It's the best I can do.

I do very well. I would have been dead 30 yrars ago, except for sn outstanding team (most of them in spirit world) and my own ingenuity at keeping myself breathing.

Subclinical 🙂
It sounds like he is just complaining about it being stored in the basement "just because".
The animals must be fed and right now given your limited food storage areas this arrangement seems quite reasonable.
You asked for non-hoarders opinions so I have given you mine. 😀

Joan, i can totally relate to your ~☆~Team in the Spirit World~☆~ In many ways i have more of a relationship with those who have left this 'Plane' than with those who are still here...♡♡♡
The shelf painting was harder than id expected. The black shelf is not easy to cover with paint, plus i didnt want to get any paint on my shoes, but the ground was too hot to be barefoot, so i had to wait all day for the sun to get behind the trees. Im hoping to somehow arrange my herbal remedies, tinctures, vitamins & supplements, etc. on this shelf...?...somehow...?

Thank you Tillie.

There is a line about how being paranoid doesn't mean there isn't someone out to get you. It is like that for me with stuff. I know that I should have a right to a certain amount of space and quantity of possessions, but I am never sure where that line reasonably goes. I often enlist dh (which won't work in this case) my mom (who is not a farm person and would be appalled by even one loaf of slightly moldy bread) or my kids (not in a conflict with their father) to guage if I am out of line.

Today have sorted out the boxes and removed the compost. I am down to five from seven, so it looks like it will be the right amount of food for the whole week.

I worked in my garden a little - non stuff focused enjoyable use of time I am trying to make more central, and I made a pie from the cherries that I actually 1- picked before the birds got them, and 2 - used before they spoiled in my fridge! Yay me!

I cleaned out the fridge a little. I had to toss four pork chops out in the woods, because dh and dd didn't eat them and said they had been in there too long. The waste of money annoys me, but more the waste of the pig's life! (I'm a vegetarian in case that hasn't come up yet)

I'm behind on the milk, but I am handling the mail ok. Not cutting into the paper backlog lately though, just managing the inflow. I wanted to make cheese today, but the pie took too much time, energy, and extra dishes.

Joan, i can totally relate to your ~☆~Team in the Spirit World~☆~ In many ways i have more of a relationship with those who have left this 'Plane' than with those who are still here...♡♡♡
The shelf painting was harder than id expected. The black shelf is not easy to cover with paint, plus i didnt want to get any paint on my shoes, but the ground was too hot to be barefoot, so i had to wait all day for the sun to get behind the trees. Im hoping to somehow arrange my herbal remedies, tinctures, vitamins & supplements, etc. on this shelf...?...somehow...?

A good way to determine if something is reasonable or just random clutter is it's immediate usefulness and condition.
A weeks supply of food for farm animals is useful and you keep checking on it's condition and tossing anything too far gone.
A bunch of assorted little bits of assorted carpet scraps is not useful, you have no use for them and they are full of dirt and bugs is just random clutter. Steven has this...
Seasonal things that you use but need to store during off seasons is reasonable.
Anything broken is clutter unless you will be fixing and using it in the very near future.
Things that you used to like and use regularly but haven't wanted for a long time is now clutter.
Multiples of items stored away for "Justin Case" is clutter that needs to be sorted out and evaluated.
Items you have accumulated but have never used or needed or really have any desire to ever use is clutter.
Anything that does not add to your life but rather takes away from your life is clutter.
Anything that makes you sad or angry or any other negative feelings is clutter.
A box, chest or trunk of sentimental keepsakes is not clutter as long as it is not everything in the entire room or house.
Craft supplies for hobbies that you used to do but no longer have the inspiration to do any longer is now clutter.
Clothes/linens that are stained, torn, don't fit or otherwise unused are clutter.
It's hard to make these decisions, takes a lot of brain power & energy deciding.
This is why it's best if we all have someone we trust to just be there to give their view point.
But since we don't, we have each other here to ask.

I keep trying to get Steven to bring his friend over here to help him see what is what.
Even a fellow hoarder is good at making those keep/toss decisions in someone else's hoard. 🙂

Hello, to all!
Im getting so frustrated at myself. I just cant seem to get any momentum going. Its just so overwhelming. Id been considering attending an event out of state next month, but for many reasons have decided not to. Now im thinking if i could somehow turn not going into some kind of inspiration or accomplish things here as a tribute to my not going....i just can not understand how ive accomplished very difficult feats on my own, that are considered enormous challenges, even impossible to do without 'support'by our society, and yet i can not seem to simply clean my dang house....i think i need to just hire someone to help me in some way....at least try it.... 🙁

This: "Craft supplies for hobbies that you used to do but no longer have the inspiration to do any longer is now clutter."

Really jumped out at me. I have a lot of materials for projects that I either want to do or want to want to do (in some cases the desire has been beaten down by failure and derision even though the idea is still appealing.)

Also, I fight depression, and some days I don't "want to" do anything.

But I think about the reasons I don't do a lot of these things and they come down to time (I say I don't have enough, but i need to look at how I'm using the time I have) and scope (I am overwhelmed b the quantity of materials and number of projects.

So, one rational solution would be to just clear out all the supplies except a small selection and actually do those things.

But I don't want to spend the time getting rid of perfectly useful things for projects I want to do instead of doing the projects.

Today dh and I worked in the studio/shop barn cleaning up and organizing. It got really really bad over the last year.

I only straightened a small area and got rid of a handful of recycling, but I also used some of my materials to start some work for my class that begins tomorrow and found the tools I will need.

And I looked around at the overwhelming studio space and chose three tasks that will USE UP stockpiled materials and make more space while I engage in activities I think I want to do. I wrote them in big letters on the chalk board and I'm going to try to do one every day.

They are:
*Mulch the garden (I have stockpiled cardboard)

*Mix glaze (I have stockpiled the last dried out inch of hundreds of bottles - actually remixing and using them will save me money at more than minimum wage for my efforts.)

*Throw and fire barrel pots (something I enjoy that will use up some of the clay in my studio, although the kind I have the least of, use up the scrap wood and sawdust I have stockpiled for firing, and bring in income because I sell these)