Good morning and Happy Mother's Day, everyone! I think we all know women who have been maternal and kind! I was very touched to receive a very loving card (a real card!) from a dear friend who grew up with a drug-addicted mother. The Mother's Day card thanked me for taking good care of everyone and being open and available and maternal. I know that in addition to my mom, I have been fortunate to have caring women in my life. (I'm looking at you, Tillie).

We are having a grey rainy day. I'm doing laundry and will make breakfast in a little while. This afternoon I will spend with mom and maybe watch a tv show or movie. I really can't get her out in this weather--too hard to keep her dry and comfortable in her wheelchair.

In the meantime, I'm looking to do some laundry and change my sheets. I also need to do some work, as I'm hoping to skip out early tomorrow.

So, what are you doing today? Thinking of you all and thanking you for supporting me. We can do this!

Hi Joan!

Porter, I think that buying your house sounds like a good plan. Also I really like your basement concept.

I am someone who likes to leave projects out and go back to them too, but it drives dh nuts. I am supposed to have the basement, but the basement is dark and cold and I am seasonal. Also, it serves too many functions.

This is the state of my environment right now:
Basement (2 rooms) - 1 hoarded, 1 functional
First floor
Kitchen - clean
Living room - clean
Dining porch - hoarded
Laundry room - functional
Guest bath - clean
Guest room - hoarded
Second guest room - hoarded
Dd's room - functional
Dd's bathroom - functional
Second floor
Our bedroom - functional
Our bathroom - clean
Dh study - clean

My house sounds big, but the rooms are small, and the second floor is a half story, so the "full height" (7' ceilings) area is only 6 ft wide.

We also have an animal barn - functional, and a big semi-finished barn that holds cars, tractors, dh shop equipment, storage, and my pottery studio. It currently ranges from clean to hoarded by area (very clean area around dh car and tools, storage area that looks like we had an earthquake, barely functional studio....)

"Clean" means that I could have it ready for company in half an hour to half a day simply by doing normal pick up and surface cleaning.

"Functional" means I can use it for it's intended purpose, but there are barriers that have to be worked around and the only way it wold be company ready tomorrow would be if I grabbed a bunch of stuff and stuffed it in another room.

Ds is coming home with his gf in 12 days, so I need to get the guest room and dining porch up to clean. They were clean at Christmas time, so they are not too bad, but I have a lot of projects and "horizontal files" out. I'm sure some of it will get stuffed in the basement.

"Hoarded" means no one will be using this room for it's intended purpose today. Maybe next week. Maybe not.

I'm so glad to hear from Joan too.

Yes I'm very much looking forward to the BASEMENT
I'm basically going make it surrounded by counters .
I had that way when I had a garage. It will fit the ADHD tendencies. If I have 40 feet of counter space then I can keep projects out and unfinished.
I typically loose parts or pieces when I put things them away. And when use lists and to-do. Boxes
I'm more productive.

Like packing long term Storage's. Repair things like favorite can openers, or lawn stuff.
But like now, if my actual work space is too small to multi task then I get into trouble completing tasks. Wife's things then get piled on top of my projects. Like my stuff is not important enough to box up. No she can't get to it. I feel a bit selfish getting so much space all to myself.
We may possibly get along better when my crap isn't being mixed up with her shit. Or my daughters things.
Nor on the dinning room table when I'm obsessed about a project. Like the guy in close encounters of the third kind , making a mountain in his living room that he explain. I don't want the hoard down there. I want the creative outlet. So I'll be spending time, money, and effort Into making it both. Hoard on one wall,laundry on another and projects on the other two.

Secondly. I'm going to start saving money to buy the home as its cheaper than dirt built in 1901.
So ivw been thinking about how to do both.
Buy the house which is close to a college. And pay for the tuitions to that college. So that what I pay for her live on campus, I can buy off campus. And if I pass away , or move away she can rent the other rooms. During college years to peers .

Sorry, I forgot you aren't married.

PS - Tillie, you do know that if you reach full retirement age (66+ for us) and the marriage lasted at least 10 years, you can collect about half of his social security if you divorce him. You get more if he dies later on (survivor benefits).

From one survivor to another.

Porter and Tillie, I appreciate you both sharing so much.

I have had life-long medical issues, but only discovered I could not work after I was married. After trying to turn things around for a while, my then-husband dumped me because of my "mental illness". I couldn't work either. Once you got dumped into the old mental health system, even with deinstitutionalization, you were better off dead. The drugs alone killed everyone I knew back then.

I am a 35 year veteran of the mental health systems in 3 states. I left when the system here in RI began to crumble for lack of funding, and they booted me out. I sued for alimony during the divorce process, and got some in 1987. With alimony I survived for many years. There are new divorce laws in Massachusetts that are unconsciousionably cutting off older women from long-term alimony in their 60s and older. After a long battle I lost my alimony last fall, but I am all right financially because I have a small inheiritance.

Tillie, you are a very courageous woman. All things considered, I have ended up in a good place, but boy did I have to fight for it. Much more needs to be done for people who just cannot produce or work to support themselves. In this still-cutthroat society, the healthy who are lacking in compassion must be disenfranchised. I deserve a good life regardless of my ability to work.

Anyway, that is me. Take care, everyone.

I live more than 2000 miles away from Carson City
🙁

Wow. Now I am sad.

Tillie I can already tell you have an amazingly good heart! I wish I could be your rl friend. I want to find you a way to leave and have your own little cleAn, neat place where you can be happy and not to be imprisoned by filth.

Porter, I think your new place sounds great! One of my goals is to have all the things I don't use frequently (every week? Month at least). In bins on my storage rack. But I will need a bigger rack or less stuff. Still, I am (very) slowly making progress. Do you hope to eventually get the hoard all into the basement and not have to pay for the storage place? Or all into the storage place and not have it in your basement?

If my mil said she would never eat at my house again, I would be like "and the down side of that would be?" I think your dishes sound super clean. I don't know if you could eat at my house - dishwasher with no heat and then air or sometimes towel dry (I bleach the towels). If I were going to eat at your house I would want to bring my own flatware because the plastic would upset me - bring it and take it home to wash. Also, I'd want to take your plastic flatware home and wash it and put it out in the lunch room where I work. But I probably wouldn't ask. One thing I want so much in my life is people I could actually have that conversation with and not feel like they thought I was really weird and didn't want me around.

My job is my best place. Friday the seniors covered the whole second floor with bubble wrap for their prank, and I asked them to put it in my room when they cleaned it up, and then I rolled it up and am going to cut off pieces for packing projects to go home, because even though it is mostly popped, when you scrunch it up, it is still padding. And my boss said "I love it! ( SubC) is always there with a solution!"

I know it will still end up in the landfill eventually, but not on my watch.

My ankle is a little better but still slowing me down.

I have read buried treasures, but it didn't really help me much. It was a long time ago, and maybe I wasn't ready for it. The book that helped me the most was "Stuff: compulsive hoarding and the meaning of things". I got it out of the library and thought I was going to laugh at it, but then I kept thinking "yes! That's me! Oh my gosh, yes!" And it helped me really understand what was going on in my head, which gave me a handle to help change things. I suggested it to my cousin because I thought it would help her understand her dad and maybe relate to him in a way that would help, but she said it just depressed and frightened her.

My kitchen is good. My paper load is down. I am up total two and a half gallons of milk, so I need to make more cheese or some ice cream. Good thing - dd decided to try the milk in her smoothly this morning instead of yogurt because the fruit was too thick. She hasn't lived here for three years and I guess she forgot how good the fresh goat milk is. When she drank the first sip, she said "oh my gosh! That is so much better than yogurt!" So no more big plastic tubs coming into my house, and someone to help enjoy the milk (we are at peak flow right now - when you have your own goats, most of the year there is too much or too little, so I try to freeze milk, cheese, ice cream, etc for the "too little" time.)

That's exactly what I've been doing.
I found one , and bought it for $60

Wouldn't you know it, mother in law disapproves.
She worked as receptionist at a appliance repair man in rural area. She says they cause and is the reason her daughter is sick. Ugh!

I bought it anyway , I tried to avoid the did issuing but mother in laws true colors couldn't contain herself. And blasted away.

I said its more likely what she was eating on the plates than how they were washed. She pointed to mold around the liner. I'm like. Hey, I'm more concerned with mold growing in unwashed dishes.

Not to mention. , I got rid of plastics, and China.
Only Pyrex glass bowls and pie plates. That way I. An see through the plates and use a green scratch pads to Scrub anything visible.

She just scoffs and says she will never at at our house. I just roll my eyes. I use bleach I. 1 cap full to a gallon and spray on After washing. Do dry and kill, I use anti bacterial soaps. And RE rinse and two Apr t before serving. I don't even wash the flatware anymore . I only use plastic disposable forks and spoons. So they are just tossed out , $4 a month.

It's when they cook. They don't clean as they go.
They don't like my fish and fasting approach. O they fix messy foods and demand since I didn't cook it I should Clean. Its a catch 22.

But I dont care anymore.
I will be using the dishwasher if I wash pots and pans. Rather than soaking them in the sink .
And then wash them by hand. When I put away and rinse before serving.

I know bleach is toxic. I use correctly. Just the cap on the bottle, in one gallon of water. Other wise I'm poising my environments. But use straight bleach on toilet bowls. And use rubber gloves.

And sinks and showers I scrub by hand and spray the bleach water on And air dry.

I hear what she's saying , but feel like she wants me to do it here way or no way. I've offered for to take over the chore herself. So she have the standard met, and she does on Days she's here.
But she wants me to do it her way when she's not and she's sometimes gone for ten days or more.
.
I just keep paper and foam plates available if anyone isn't happy with my glass and scratch pads.

They were so mad when I threw out the plastics.
I think that may have been a factor , she's was always nuking plastic containers in the microwave.
And eating straight from the microwave.

I try to earn my opinions by looking up information of the internet, with a grain of salt. But I know half of world microwave ovens are banned. So I use them with caution .
Like I turn on
For example
I turn on the stove ,and put a pot with a tiny amount of water in it . Then microwave the rest of the water in a glass . Then pour the water in the pot. It makes stove top steaming very fast.

Mostly I use frozen vegetables due to salts in canned foods.

So heating up the stove takes longer. I use the microwave to heat water much faster than waiting boil. Usually in 2 minutes I can have a pot of boiling water. And that's what I use to sterilize dishes that were once dried and stuck on foods.

But I cant get the woman to listen.
She may have time to wash dishes. In the clean as she goes method. When I cook , I do clean as I go.
But 3-5 days a week I get pots pans and bowls with dried and burnt foods In half way filling the sink.
So half is soaked and half is just a burnt and stuck on mess.

So I just don't care anymore.
The portable dishwasher is my way. Until someone else wants to do it their way first.
Not to mention. Everything's else I do. Cut grass, porches, toilets,sinks, refidgerators, microwave.,tables and counters, under couches and beds , cars , trash , and vacuuming. I even adjust the thermostats, manage air-con, ceiling fans , smoke detectors and pay bills.

I MEAN. GAWLEE, dishwashers are designed to steam sterilize . My dishwasher leaked . And she came one time when I was being invaded by ants. .
In the very room where cookie baking wife spills alot of sugar. MIL sees this and says I'll never eat at your house again.

You know what I was thinking. Right ?

BA-BYE!

Still this argument exists.

I read the below post after writing, Tillie.
I understand . I've been unhappy a long time and have similar issues. I have wanted to leave many times, but it would moving away from my daughter.
Last year I was hit with a frying pan. The argument that led to it was ridiculous on her part and I was a jackass, I was gone two days when my mom told.be my wife was at the cancer center. I went to see if we're true. 20 days later they removed half her liver. She begged me to come back because she can't do it alone. But she gets mad and unreasonable.
And yet I still sign a new lease with her.

I wish I knew how to be happy with her. I wish I knew .

I will be your friend forever, Tillie.

Good Morning Everyone 🙂

Hi Porter 🙂
The new place sounds GREAT!
Keep an eye out for one of those portable full size dish washers.
You just roll them over and hook them to the sink, wash dishes & then roll them back out of the way.
They do as good a job as built ins.
Since the basement is damp...
Keep the storage bins away from the walls a few inches and leave space between them for dry air to circulate.

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
Hi Anonymoniker 🙂

It's COLD today.
Snowing in Carson City! 😮
Had plans to water and pull a few weeds today but my plans have changed.
Will now straighten up my closet and dresser drawers.
Everything is where it goes but could be tidier, less just tossed in.

Steven and I have been together since 1984.
Together we went through losing my son, a major devastating flood, the loss of our dear Grandmothers, the murder of his brother and many other hard times.
Then I became very ill and was unable to work.
He became abusive, killed my cat and cheated on me.
He told terrible lies about me to all my friends and those who believed his lies I "unfriended".
Which is why I have no friends any longer.
I would have left but I was/am unable to work due to my medical condition and by moving out I would have been homeless.
So it has been a lot like that movie "War Of The Roses" where we both continue to live in the house separately while openly loathing each other.
I do not cook for him or do his laundry or ever even touch him.
Since he cheated I have considered him unclean, disgusting and contaminated with all manner of diseases.
It has been well over twenty years and now it's just a wait and see as to who dies first.
With no medical insurance or medical care, I really hope it's me. 😀

I'm so glad I posted about my SIL.
After sleeping on it , and reading the replies.
I know I control my impulsuses and any reward would not worth an aftermath of it were found out.

She's just one of those people I don't avoid, and am Vlad when she gets close. However if I keep it innocent then no one gets hurts.

When my dad was found out when I was 14, my mom was very hurt. And the way they tried to hurt eachother in court only hurt themselves and me. My older brothers left into separate to they could barely afford. And I was stuck living in a 5 bed room house with no furniture's except my room.

Dad would come once a week with food. But my brother would come and eat alot of it. Living there was empty house , my friends would come late Friday's and Saturday's and drunk stoned and whatever else they wanted. I started to see how drugs and alcohol affect good judgement. So I never felt the need to buy any for myself. Just if it was being shared. And I never did anything worse than pot or alcohol, except when a friend put acid on a piece of candy. I Hated it , with a capital H.
I eventually returned to my boyhood. Which was spent wondering a large wooded area where a creek went through the outskirts of a large city.
As a boy a fish, my friends and would build forts, and shelters , and hunting blinds. When the house was sold , I sent to my grand mother's, but she died withing a month of my living there. I was almost 17 . I started living in the woods . But would still go to school . And when winter came I lived in abandoned houses. Near the school. Using firewood from the woods in the fireplaces. I was never caught. Even though my dad was giving my mom money for keeping me , she be never told my dad she didn't know where I was. I finally dropped out of high school . And didn't my GED until my second marriage.

Before my grandmother died. She was talkings to my mom on the phone and my mom was having anxiety attack. My grandmother said they all cheat , all men cheat. After the phone call I made a promise to my grandmother that I would never cheat on my wife. I was thinking I would never hurt someone I took a vow to god that I wouldn't be with someone else I am married to. So after writing to you guys and getting feed back, I'm reminded of something like a passionate moment can cause a lifetime of pain.
I feel very strong now about it, even if she laid in front of me begging , lol, I would not allow my wife or child be hurt by that. So I will keep the flirting to just smiles and compliments.

Today I'm mowing the yard for the last time.
Moving as much to the porch and the room by the door were moving out of. And clearing the upstairs of everything. And making repairs to nail holes and any other repairs.

Sunday , I'll just keep organizing it so just flows out room by room. The new place is only 1.2 miles away , so I'm renting a $20 a day uhaul box van I have nothing bigger than that.

Leaving the sectional couch half there and half here. So there is a place to sit at either house.

Here's the hoarder thing.
In my current house. I have no garage, attic , or basement. At the new place there is no garage , or attic. But the basement is as large as first floor.
So there is opportunity to keep all hoarding clutter down there as an orgasization wall of photographed tubs and containers.

So the living spaces will be cleared .
And there are closets in everyroom.

We selected thus house based on pro and cons.

PROS.

. I can afford this house. And my car on my pay earnings without assistance.

. Has shower and bath on same floor as my wife's bedroom.

. Only 3 steps up from where her car parks.
. Has air-conditioning.
. All electric.
. Positions half way between high school and work.
. On a major bus route.
. 1minute away from highway on ramp .
. 1 minute from largest supermarket in city.
. Not on busy street or where cars can speed.
. Broadband hook up or satalite.
. Ceiling fans in each room.
. Upstairs has 3 small bedroom 1 room will be a music room for daughter and her friends.

. I personally will make my room basically a guest room. For when mother in law comes. And sleep on couch the long sectional. My wife calls out for help alot need help out if her bed or cramps. So if in speaking distance , isn't as disturbing as running down stairs to help her. Plus daughter has three friends that stay with her regularly. That's four people. Plus a mother in law.
They can stay upstairs. .
Even the basement is large enough for an air mattress. .

The basement is a large open room. With only a few supporting walls.
Washer and dryer in the basement.
I plan to take all my cabinets and counters that did not belong to the old house to the new basement.
And put as many counters in the basement as possible.

It's a little damp, but I'm sure I can find the leaks and address them . And buy a dehumidifier and keep the place dry as bone.

So what little space I lose buy not having a personal bedroom , I gain by having an organized basement with enough work space to play with my creative outlets like rammed earthouse and hydrogen flying bicycles without having to put them away.

CONS.

No dishwasher hook up. Almost a deal breaker!

SO IM I'm looking forward to see if it all fits .
The hoarding clutter , in the house without being in the common areas.
I told my wife I will keep her hoard in the basement and manage it the same way I did when it was in storage.

Whatever doesn't fit I moving to the storage.
The than at storagecis to sell it all. Or donate it. Keep the money in a CD deposit account , so I can buy replace money for replacement items .in a two year 6% cycle. And buy from the sold items manifest as needed used from LETGO or other used item sites.

Feeling very positive.

Hi porter, that sounds rough! I don't know you well enough to really offer advice, but just an idea - could you buddy up teenage daughter and sis in law during the move?

Anonymoniker, I'm a gardener too. We've had a lot of rain, but I'm hoping to get done work done this weekend.

Wow Tillie, you guys must have a really strong relationship! I thought dh and I were solid, but I think he would leave.

Tatoulia, your closet sounds lovely! I'm glad you had a good trip.

I got ahead on the paper again. Up one gallon of milk for the day, kitchen is a little messy, but just dishes messy. I am not a dried/spoiled food dishes piled around hoarder - just a lazy housewife who often doesn't unload the dishwasher until there is a whole new load in the sink and on the counter (rinsed). Rarely does anyone else who lives here do dishes.

I have hurt my ankle and am hobbling around. I don't remember doing it, but it is swollen and hot (and sore)

Hello everyone I'm home from my overnight trip. Kitty held together just fine.

It was good to come home to a clearer house. I said clear not clean. I've cleared out quite a bit and need to keep the momentum this weekend.

I have some artwork that I'm not currently hanging and I am going to have to look deep into my soul about. I got rid of 5 pieces recently. There are a few that I am not ready to give up. I may postpone a decision til my decorator is here. I might also just find closet space for now. I am not ready to say goodbye.

Earlier this week I worked on my dining room closet. The closet has wonderful shelves and filing cabinets--California Closets designed and made it for me. I have mom's china , among other things, on the shelves. I did organize two of the china shelves better and it freed up some space. in the room, where I have my bookshelves, I started cleaning and clearing the top of the bookshelves and it looks so much nicer without stuff on top. I'll finish that up and get to dusting over the weekend.

I want to keep plowing ahead. I want to make the tough choices and let things go. And with your help, I will.

Hi Everybody 🙂

Hi Subclinical 🙂
He knows he is a terribly severe hoarder and is quite happy about it and plans to never change.
He goes out of his way to clutter up any and every available space.
All the hoarded places are quite squalorous & nasty.
We have Deer mice (hantavirus) and desert pack rats (possible Bubonic plague), black widow & recluse spiders, scorpions, yellow jacket wasps and snakes all living in his clutter.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Oh GEE!
Wonder why Scooter's name comes to mind.
Even though he pesters everything he comes across and never leaves anything alone.
He swore he is innocent, never even saw that pot of cat grass.
He also pointed his paw at the 4 other cats living in the house.
;D

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
My plan was to get this first pot started and when it was about <5> inches tall start the next batch.
The pot was on the sunny window sill that the cats never sit on because I made the better sunny window sill 8 inches deep to accommodate their fat fuzzy butts.
This time I will try placing one of those mesh/net dome type covers that are for keeping flies off picnic foods over it.

Porter,
You are in a very vulnerable state right now.
Your Wife's illness, your growing up teenage daughter, being forced to move and all the other trials & tribulations you are going through.
Any kind of dalliance would unnecessarily complicate everything for you.
You still need a lot of time to come to grips with the hand life has already dealt to you.
Mentally and emotionally you will not be ready for any kind of new relationship for at least two years after your Wife passes.
Please take your own wellbeing to heart and make sure to nip any advances in the bud.

Sincerely, Tillie (((HUGS)))

Porter, by 'transitions to the next place', i meant to Heaven, not the next house.

Wow, Porter, that would be very challenging to ignore. I have little experience in long term monogamy or marriage. The only monogamous relationship ive had for 27 years has been with my cartner(my 90 Toyota), but i actually had a few brief truck affairs in that time. I would think that would be like entering a hornet nest. Itd seem it could easily derail your efforts & momentum, as well as feeling good about yourself. At worst it could blow up everything in your life in a horrid way, at best yall could fall in love & live happily ever after. I dont blame you for considering taking that risk. If it were me i think id make a pact with myself to keep it at innocent flirting....at least until things change, meaning your daughter is well into college & adulthood, & your wife transitions to the next place.
Its funny how much the posts on this thread actually could just as easily be written by a group of clean freaks! ha ha I was thinking how the few worse-than-me-hoarders i know in real life have made me want to improve my place more than anyone....that is strange...ha ha
I have been working on my new garden & im really excited about it! Once it gets too hot ill work on the mess inside!
Tillie, what i did on my boat was i had 2 kitty grass containers that i staggered in growth stages so my cat always had one, while the new one could get more established. ~☆♡☆~

OK I hesitate to talk about this.
But if it doesn't kill me ornate make me stronger.

My sister's law has agreed to come help move.
Not my wife's sister. But my wife's step brother's wife. She looks exactly like the woman I fell in love with and got away. Not assuming everyone everyone has someone they couldn't say no to.
But I have a difficult time saying no to her.
She's caught me looking at her and checking her out. And she's been very touchy feely ever since.
And we'll if I go on I'll embarrass myself. But she exposes herself to me, and I've struggled to look away . Doors left open and the little things that add up to trouble making.

Nothing's ever happened, and nothing will happen as ling as my wife lives. The thing is she's the only one willing to help, as my plan for helping buddies for each isn't wife, teenager, and myself has fell on bad timing.

She used to be severely obese and had bariatric
Surgery. For whatever reason, I was very complimentary to her as she lost weight. Without realizing what that might mean to her. I've never been shy around her at family gatherings as we're sort of the odd ones and we tend to gather up all the kids with us and give the family time to talk .

It's known that her and her husband have an open marriage. I have been able to resist her advances. As I prefer monogamy so my home doesn't turn into a turmoil of betrayal and mistrust.

I'm not sure if talking about here is the right place, or appropriate. But I swear the problem is that she looks exactly like an unrequited love I lost. How do I put it. I don't realize I'm staring at her twitterpated. And she gushes. She has invited my daughter and I to live with them after my passes. And bought a house to accommodate us in advance even though is said no , but find myself thinking about saying yes, but I'm not looking ahead, I made a vow to my wife and to god, but she tempts me. Her husband jokes about the open marriage thing, but my first wife , wanted that, when said no, she did it anyway, fell in love , and I had to end our marriage. Though I loved her.

Well be spending many hours alone together in private secluded places. If something happens I'll hate myself , as I've never cheated , not in my first or second Marriage. No cheating in 27 years.

I think I'm just making it into something that it isn't.

I'm hoping to get some feed back from each of you, because I think I need some perspective.

Hi everybody!

Porter, I just got here. I've Ben trying to get everyone straight in my head. I'm sorry you are struggling with so much pain. It sounds like you have found a hour system to control and limit the clutter.

I hate moving. We used to do it lot and I always thought I would clean out but ended up throwing so much in random boxes at then end. The last move was the worst. I hope your move goes smoothly.

I bought bins and a storage rack for my basement, but I don't have everything organized on it yet. All my "scrapbook" stuff is still in cardboard boxes and isn't supposed to be on the rack anyway.

Dh and I have been working on the house. We are building on a great room which will be open floor plan kitchen/dining/living room so that our growing (adding kids spouses, hopefully someday grand Kids) family can gather. Dh designed it with minimal storage to keep it clean and open - lots of windows for my SAD, but they go too low to put shelves under them.

I get frustrated though, because every step involves me removing things from a space, then something happening to the space that reduces the available storage (son's room got two windows and a queen sized bed. It is now the guest room and has no space for a dresser, shelf and desk that were in there.) So even as the hoard gets smaller, the mess gets worse.

My kitchen is messy this morning, but just dishes. I also got the mail and still need to get rid of 3 sheets of paper to be "ahead".

I didn't wash the bins, so they are staying here all weekend.

I did make cheese, so the milk backlog is better but not fixed.

This is getting long, so I will talk about the food issues another time/place.

Today: teaching, more recycling to drop off, catch back up on kitchen, more out than in.

Hi
In the middle of the storm here.
Can't stay, can't move. Ugh!

I've missed alot of reading,
Hi SubC

I haven't read anything and missed your joining in on the thread, hope you are well,

I've added a new function to my management of tubs and boxes.
What currently due is limit the number of of boxes to take up 1 large wall per person in the house.
Along the line of a little mess is OK , but alot of mess is unacceptable.
Any wall of tubs must be able to be inspected and able to trap insects or rodents at a moment's notice.
All tubs must be lable , , layered with only 1 layer nothing Inside overlapping. All tubs must be photographed and those photos viewable on the TV.
A manifest , in alphabetical and or numerical order. Tubs must be Inspected in the spring and fall, with time change for daylight savings .

And what I'm adding is tubs that are given a purge date. So I can purge tubs and not just keep storing what I hoard. If I don't open tubs in a full year. I'll sell it. And keep the money in a special CD account . I'll keep a manifest of what I sold, and if I ever need it again , I'll search for it on sites like let go , when the deposits mature.

This way I have the space, and the money. So if I purged it by selling , I can rebuy without as much trouble as trying to manage storing.
Whatever doesn't sell I'll donate for for taxes.

Right now I have 17 tubs filled with clutter all pieces the size of a large softball or smaller.
Though I tried to keep everything in single layers or in containers inside of totes. Some of just fits better all just dumped in a tub like a pile of treasure in chest. And that's where having the inventory and manifest is helpful. I can also match pricing on the sites like LETGO. So I know what it's worth and it's easier than having garage sales in my opinion.
I was able to trade a gas stove for dishwasher . And OMG, did that make me happy. Something large that I was hoarding for 6 years unused. Trade for something I really needed. I still wash the dishes by hand just before eating off them , but the dishwasher offers a way to keep food from drying on plates , or allowing other I live with to simply put plates filled with food wastes, in the sink filled with water. I mean yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk.
I hate it. I don't mind doing dishes.
But I hate walking into the sink and finding plates that have to scrubbed out with scratch pads day after day. Since my wife became ill. I was told to step up. Well let's see. I mow grass, take out trash, clean toilets,sinks , and showers, mop floors, sweep carpets, porches, and cars. Wash all laundry, and prompt teenager to put laundry away,
I shop, cook , purge the fridge, clean microwave and stove, make bill payments and keep the checking register, trap and dispose of mice, Chane out light bulbs, and managed the hoarding, and schedule visitation and healthcare, as well as drive friends of the teenager, to here there and everywhere.

It would be nice if they could simply scrape thief uneaten food out of their plated before putting them in the sinks and filling with water. Ugh!
Rant over.

I feel better. Sometimes I just need to let it out , and not always to people that are doing it as tend to get Curt instead of having an encouragement tone of voice.

OK well I'll check back in in a few days , I'm having level 4 pain, that I can do nothing about.
Similarly to arthritis, if I don't keep moving , my pain become intolerable. I have so much to do, I almost don't need a list, because I Co close my eyes take a few steps and bump into something that could be a task on the list. I know I need to observe my relaxation outlets, but there's an overwhelming amount of things to do, and looking at the the total of hours needed to do them.I will need help. So but, I'm trying to reserve the help for the move. And focus on the packing ,

Moving is always an opportunity to purge and reorganize. But then the deadline looms, heavy on the priorities. I have a great plan, but I need to remember advice about the end game.
DO NOT MOVE THE HOARD INTO THE NEW LIVING SPACE.

I apologize for making this post about me the whole me and nothing but me.

I wish you all the best and very thankful.

PS we did find a place , and put in the hold money, it's not ready, and the deadline looms.
So I'm still packing and putting odd clutter in storage, and all large things are now down stairs , so it won't need to come down stairs on the moving day.

I'm thinking that has scooter's paw prints all over it, Tillie

Tillie, I'm sorry your hoarder isn't ready to change. Does he talk about it at all? Please forgive me if I'm prying and ignore if you want.

I recycle as much as possible, although I try to avoid even recyclable plastic. It's the non-recyclable stuff that is really a problem for me. Styrofoam is the worst! Local styrofoam recycling would literally change my life. The first big step in my dehoarding came with easily available paper recycling.

Maybe you could put a piece of screen over the top of your pot so that the poor plants can't get eaten all the way down?

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Hope the second half of your day went smoothly.
Have a fun and safe trip! (((hug)))

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
Hi Porter 🙂

It really bugs me too when the food comes wrapped up in so much plastic.
Only suggestion is to find a recycling bin and put it in there.
Our dump transfer station has large bins set up for us to dump our recyclables into at no charge to us.
Unfortunately, a lot of food still comes in plastic that is not recyclable.

Two weeks ago I planted some "cat grass" seeds in a little pot and had it on the window sill.
The grass was about two inches tall yesterday.
When I was not present, Somebody ate every little blade of it.
Nothing but a pot of dirt left.
So, I planted the rest of the seed packet in the little pot and hopefully this time the grass can get a little bit taller before it's picked clean. 😀

Glad your day got better!

Sending anything to the landfill bothers me. It's a non-renewable/consumption of resources issue. I wish I could think of another use for theplastic containers!

I also have a hard time giving up something that could be reused or recycled if I think that will result in it being thrown away instead.

Hi SubC! Good work on the coffee mugs! Can you tell me more about the plastic? Do you find it hard to get rid of because you can think of uses for it? Or does the non/biodegradable nature of it bother you?

I used to have an issue with saving jars, largely because I thought they were cute. I don't have even one left, I got rid of them all. Now that I'm mentioning it I can think of a few uses for them, if I still had them. But then I like to remind myself that just because I can think of a use doesn't mean 1) that I needed them 2) that they are useful and 3) that I should have kept them.

My day settled down. I visited with BF then with mom. I still have to pack for trip. I forgot to buy milk so no coffee for me tomorrow AM. Drats.

SubC is fine.

I am glad you didn't get a migraine CM, they are awful! I'm a little jealous of your quilting. Some day.... The last quilt I made was 22 years ago. - but I have plenty of fabric!

Tatoulia, I hope the second half of your day was better.

I took 4 mugs to work for a coworker who will get them to a place that helps former foster kids set up their first apartments.

I brought home two storage buckets from class, but they will be washed and returned on Friday - no issues.

The grocery shopping though - Ug! I went to the butcher deliberately instead of shopping out of the case because he normally wraps my meat in paper. Instead he wrapped it in plastic on not one, but two stacked plastic trays. It was like that when he came out with it, and I know that if I ask for paper instead, he'll just rip open the packing and throw it away. Those trays are going to be a problem later. I also bought strawberries and tomatoes in plastic cartons, which will be another problem for me. And Dd's yogurt came in a plastic tub that doesn't recycle. But it's 32 oz, so I can probably plant something in it and give it away. (I live on a small homestead farm, I often give away baby trees and such.)

There is nothing extra on the counter right now but Dd's used lunch containers and the strawberries and tomatoes that won't fit in the fridge yet. When dh gets home we are having a leftover buffet for dinner, but I think I need to clean out the fridge. There is a lot of milk (goats) so I should make cheese tomorrow instead of hoarding it until it goes sour!

No mail today (I stopped as much direct marketing type stuff as possible, so some days we don't get mail.) and I used some coupons, so paper out!

Hey CM, good job in keeping your spirits up despite some bumps in the road today! Glad you did not get e migraine.

My day has been a bunch of screw ups here and I'm trying to take in stride.

SubC--I started calling you that without asking if OK! Hope it is!

Will go try to make the second half of my day better than the first half.