Hi Porter 🙂
Thank you for posting.
You have my sincerest condolences
((((((HUGS))))))
Hang in there baby
Things have got to start looking up for you soon.

I've finally got it all in the next house.

but disaster has me reeling. My wife has been sent to a hospice center. And my brother killed himself.
they locked the doors on me as I was trying to move .
I broke in and was arrested.
I got 95% and the 5% isnt needed in the new place.
So as it would happen . My wife quit paying bills in February without telling me. So I have to cough up $1245 and or live without some utilities. I could deal with except the new landlord is breathing down my neck about it already.

even my phone was stolen.
I don't know how long this wifi will be available to me . But as just finished putting the very last thing inside my home I thought of you people. I'm fine. Battered and bruised but not broken. I'm still working , and my daughter will be home on tuesday. Just the two of us. $125 a week from my wife disability will come my way. And that will be enough .
I know thing could be worse. So im thankful for it even if it's barely enough.

my escape about the flying bike has been nominal.
but just will point out that many species achieve flight.
humans have for over 100 years now. The largest species to take flight was a global flyer , was as tall as a giraffe.
My work area is set up in basement a 8x8 area dedicated to my projects. And a 10 for long tool counter across from the area to keep projects free of tools and clutter. I'm very pleased to have such dream to work on.

on the 20th will be 1 month since I started moving.
at first it nice when it was just furniture, but then the hoard came in from an organized stated to just stacks and stacks and stacks. Until it was a hoard again.
But I know I will get it done. I know I will because I've done this before, I have to set realistic goals and go room by room. I think I can manage to tame it by the 20th.
I could just dump it all in basement. But that would silly to rush so fast that I have to restack everything again and again. If I go according to plan it will slowly turn into a home again.

I've been so exhausted. I finally slept yesterday until my eyes just popped open. Im sad for my brother and my wife.
But I'm staying calm and trying to keep on keepin on.

Tatoulia, you have a lot of people to take care of! And no one else is taking care of you.

CM, I also enjoyed the long post! I am hopeful for you about your move.

I forgot to say that on Thursday Jim the pig farmer was back, so I only took my usual one box of stale bread. It means I also have to buy feed, but if is much easier to manage.

I went to a baby shower today and I took a like-new children's book that I already had (I tend to pick up good titles in good condition at good prices. Each of my kids is getting a starter library when they have children) with a gift certificate for an online store that has stuff I know the new mom wants, wrapped in a reused gift bag and tissue. Dd also went to the shower and wrapped her gift using my stash. Plus she helped with games and I was able to provide felt and safety pins. So, some outs. Small outs, but still outs.

Also I started soaking the orange glaze, and worked some more on organizing the studio.

Well I haven't done much of anything today. Saw brother, took him on errands then napped. I've now showered and washed my hair, stripped sheets from bed and have dishwasher ready to go. This sounds like more than it is. The house is a furious mess and I'm tired.

Very hot today over 90F. Going to be hard to do much of anything next couple of days. I've kept my windows shut and drapes closed.

My legs hurt from all the bug bites from last night's wedding in the woods.

How are you?

CM I am savoring your post! Thank you--I feel more hopeful now. I have read your post twice and will read it again in a bit.

It is 3:30 and brother called me at 8 to start the day. I'd barely gotten home and in bed from the wedding.

Thinking of you all. CM thank you! Loved reading about your activities, your thoughts on our individual activities and your next step plans! Any chance you'd consider not waiting for the perfect moment to change the storage and call it ready? Let me know--you seem to be flirting with that idea, even if you don't realize it!🙂

Being a night owl, but it's a nice quiet time to finally get this long post up. I'll use different colors and space to make it seem less like one huge Russian novel.

Last couple of weeks have been pretty busy with church and other commitments. I got several boxes' worth of items donated and helped at the church garage sale Thursday. I also went to some sales myself - another church and some neighborhood ones. But I was good - I really did need to look for certain clothing items and I found some of those. Yesterday I made it to the gym finally. Been out of the habit plus tired, so all I did was take a very leisurely swim and get in the hot whirlpool. But that's okay, it was a start, and a good de-stresser.

As for the rest of my current situation update - the storage unit is getting closer to being ready to move - it's less a matter of bringing it back from a total disaster now and more a matter of how much fine tuning I want to do before vs. after the move. And when the move can happen. Weather is definitely heading into hot now - 90s. Blech. I'll have a chat with the social worker at clutter club meeting the 21st and see what she thinks - if the Moving Minions can be gotten, that would be an incentive to go ahead. Otherwise wait till fall. But still I've come a long way from where I was at the beginning of the year, so that's something.

Okay, now to see if this will post and then this night owl will fly back into her hollow tree and get some shut eye!

Tatoulia, that is great about your hair dryer! It must feel really good. I love it when I find a place for something.

So, these actually might be the last yogurt cups I ever get. I stopped buying yogurt in little cups two years ago, and I hope I never need to again.

I could, of course, ask the parents to provide yogurt cups. But our parents are so great and so helpful - when the science teacher needed two liter bottles, the parents sent them in full - because nobody drank soda. One parent helpfully provided paper cups in case someone else's kid wanted to drink the soda. I don't want them buying trash just so I can use it!

Dh and dd moved the ping pong table from the studio/shop barn to the new basement space under the addition. There is more room than we thought there would be, and dh says if I will sweep the floor I can move my exercise bike out there to stay. Both of those things open up space for me. Also, it's really nice of dh because I wasn't supposed to get to put anything in the new space. He doesn't usually give me space because he worries that I will hoard it, so maybe this means that he believes I am changing?

Of course then I took advantage of the new space in the studio barn to spread out a bunch of stuff I wanted to sort through. So it looks worse. But, I found a doll carriage from when I was little. My kids played with it, but they didn't love it the way I did, and looking at it now, there are a lot of things about it that are not really safe. It needs to go. I will take it to goodwill, because it is pretty close to antique at this point and someone might want it as a collectible. That is a pretty big thing.

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
The heat is a killer!
Stay out of it.
Plus the older we get the less our bodies can tolerate it. (((HUGS)))

Hi Joan 🙂
Keep searching out good alternative ways. 😀

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
So sorry that cough is hanging on (((HUGS)))
I would try drowning it out with lemonade and/or tea with lemon and honey, but that's just me. ;D
Hoping you have a blast at the wedding and even dance!
WTG! for finding a permanent home for the hair dryer!
So nice when we can finally "put" something away away.

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
Looking forward to catching up with you 😀

Hi Subclinical 🙂
Yes I put on shoes and went to the grocery store.
Didn't get a cantaloupe but did get a HUGE watermelon and a bunch of other lovely produce. 🙂
About the yogurt cups...
my thinking is, if you still get yogurt in those non-recyclable cups then toss these and just collect the new ones as they come in.
But I really don't know your situation or how things go there and maybe these are the last yogurt cups you will ever get. ;D

HELLO PORTER!!!
We all miss you 🙁

After grocery shopping yesterday I had a nagging headache that aspirin didn't help.
I was exhausted and kept falling asleep the rest of the afternoon/evening.
Weather here has turned cold again.
Snow predicted in the higher elevations.
My plans for this weekend are....
I have no plans ;P

Thanks for the drive by CM! Looking forward to hearing from you.

SubC it is a real pleasure having you here! The group is active and this is so helpful to all of us. As to complaining, we are all entitled to complain! We are all safe here! And like you, we take and find our joys where we can.

Hello to everyone--doing laundry and a little relaxation before getting ready for the wedding. My big accomplishment this week was cleaning out a drawer in the bathroom and discovering that my hair dryer can fit in it! No longer just laying about.

Coffee clinks to all!

Good morning everyone.

Tillie, did you get food?

I hate going out. Sometimes I imagine if it was just me here - I would only leave to go to work. And some days, i wouldn't be able to face stopping on the way home, so I would run out of all kinds of stuff. I'd live on rice pudding for days because there is always milk and I buy rice in huge sacks. It wouldn't taste as good once I ran out of sugar, but that still might not motivate me to go to the store. In the summer I would lose track of what day it was, start ignoring clocks....

This is part of why I take classes in the summer and volunteer at the food bank. It makes me leave the house. Also it makes me talk to people, which I know is important, even though it is hard. The depression used to hold off until October, or even November in a good year, but now it is hitting me in the summer. I don't know why. Maybe menopause? Maybe I am just lonely.

The transition out of school at the end of the year is hard. I had a really strong physical reaction to turning in the evaluations yesterday - like I had been doing hard physical labor for days. And I have been cold all week - which is crazy, because it'd been getting up into the 80s, but yesterday it was so bad my Renaults kicked in.

But now I feel like a whiner. My health is generally excellent. I feel awful for those of you who are struggling with severe physical limits and pain!

Anony, my brother suffers from a cooling disorder. He used to get hassled (even by teachers) for being a "wimp" because he had a doctor's note to miss gym if the temp was over 80. Plus he was supposed to opt out of some activities. He was a tough looking 6' tall teenager and he never would (probably because of the teasing) so my mom would get called to come get him because he had passed out and was grey and vomiting. I learned you don't mess with heat!

Joan, I'm glad you are seeing bright spots and progress!

Tatoulia I hope your cough is better soon!

I am going to try to focus on my garden and pottery this weekend. I finished the red glaze yesterday, so however much time that was (maybe half an hour total?) and I have two bottles of useable glaze worth about $27 total. See, the problem isn't that I save this stuff, it's that I have no follow through!

I set all the little yogurt cups I cracked the dry glaze out of aside to wash, but I think that actually I don't need them. I should probably throw them in the trash, right? They don't recycle. I can't think of another use for them. This is - oh, wait! My class can start plants in them in the fall! (This paragraph brought to you by my actual stream of consciousness. - so now I will wash the cups and set them aside until September. I need to make a place to store stuff for that class so I can find them.

When I was typing "this is" the next word was going to be "hard" and I was feeling sad and frustrated. Then I thought of the plants and I got a jolt of happy. If dh were watching that, he probably would have felt a tiny bit of hope (she's going to throw something away!) followed by dissapointment and disgust (nope. As usual.) I don't know what is right. I know he wants less stuff in our lives, but isn't it better to use things you already have rather than constantly creating garbage and buying new?

I have made a huge dent in the coming in. They still buy things, but I am trying to tell you everything - bought, accepted, salvaged - so you can see how I'm doing and give me good feedback. (oh, I bought a container of paint stripper last week for a furniture project - which I didn't mention because it is consumable. The dresser has been sitting in my garage for months.)

CM, I am looking forward to your post.

This is a test post - Internet has had issues today. I have another longer post I saved that I hope to upload tomorrow. Meanwhile, if you're reading this, know that I'm thinking of all of you. Anonymoniker and Joan especially my heart goes out to you. May you find healing and strength. <3 <3

More later.

Dear Joan--somehow I missed your post. I feel terrible about your situation. How terrible. My heart breaks for you. Keep fighting. Dear thing.

Anony--do not overwork yourself--esp in heat and humidity. I have an extremely low tolerance for heat, humidity and direct sun. I get sick very easily in the heat. Sometimes in the summer I wait at the office til seven before going home, just so i can take public transportation without it being too crowded and hot. I've also been known to carry a ziplock bag of ice to put on my wrists. You must be very, very careful.

We are expecting heat here next week. Not looking forward to that. I rarely make plans in the summer because I know if it's hot and humid, I won't be up for it. Snowstorm expected? I will meet you for dinner and a movie!

Tillie! My cough is working it's way through my body. I am tired of it. It gives me a headache.

Hope everyone is well and happy. I slept after work tonight then had to go up to mom's at 10 because she was having some problems. TV wouldn't work, she was hungry, etc. I'm now home and showered. Have a wedding tomorrow -- looking forward to it.

Hah! Anony, I am constantly reassuring myself that I am not making excuses.

Tillie, I feel bad that you have to go through that.

My movement disorder (cheek biting) was dismissed for decades as "just emotional". I got dumped into the alleged "mental health system". It took me about 35 years just to get one doctor to take the problem seriously. No-one (not even the providers I see every week) realize how devasting this disoder is. My brain does not work right at any time. My sleep could hardly be called "sleep" most of my life. For the last 3 years I have been seeing a chiropractor, now every week since last September, because the bitng twists my head off my neck. I often have been getting vertigo and balance issues.

After a recent setback these last two days were great, so time spent not bitng gives me hope. In this lifetime I have to work with what I have. Newer modalities (like homeopathy and the type of yoga that I practice) help a lot. In coming times I expect medical systems to address actual needs of patients, rather than just disposing of "defective people".

That is my rant for tonight. Be well.

~♡~Greetings, y'all!~♡~
I got myself so worked up yesterday, i got dizzy & weak & thought i was having a stroke or heart attack! I laid down & slept almost 12 hours. Its not just this horrendous mess that i cant seem to fix, its also my situation with my family. Theres so much that i cant even say on here...
Joan, you are right about how often crying & upset can be a new level of learning about to break through. I do want that. As bad as some of this really is, i do also often not acknowledge real obstacles, like my wrist that easily gets reinjured. I feel like im making excuses, but it is very real! Also, the heat outside is very real! Feeling faint working in it is real, not imagined. I want so much to do this myself, but im just not able to. Youre right Tillie, hiring someone younger may be just what i need for all the reasons you listed!
Im very grateful today to be alive & still functioning just fine! ~♡~

Hi Everybody 🙂

Hi Subclinical 🙂
Sounds like things went very well today! 😀
YEA! for new shorts just in the nick of time.
WTG! for getting so many things done and especially the inspection passing.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
WTG! for getting the bathroom tidier 😀
Your hair is the exact opposite of mine. Mine is a super curly nightmare. LOL 😀

Hi Joan 🙂
I truly understand having physical limitations.
I have an abdomen full of cysts and tumors that at times twist and burst causing me to be very ill and in incredible pain.
That is why I am unemployed.
But I do my best when I can, that's all we can do. (((HUGS)))

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂

Hi CM 🙂

HI Porter 🙂

Watered everything outside today then spent the rest of the day making fabric strips for rag rug making.
Need to go grocery shopping soon, all out of fresh produce and want a cantaloupe too.
But really don't want to go to town or put on shoes.

Thanks tatoulia,

Making myself accountable to someone (besides my boss) helps.

I got the evaluations done. I'll proof read them this evening and turn them in by the deadline at 9 tomorrow. (Probably before I go to bed)

The inspector came and we passed.

Drywall is delivered. Kitchen is better, laundry is reduced to what fits in the basket.

Dd is making dinner tonight,so I am going to walk up for the mail, process that, stir the red glaze, shower, and go to the food bank. I will triage the never ending list again tomorrow.

Btw, I tore the tush of those shorts this morning, so they are going, and the new pair was just in time!

Good luck today, SubC. Deep breaths! Lots of water!

Good morning everybody!

Tatoulia, movie into your chest didn't seem like a good thing, but it sounds like you are on the mend. Glad you have your kitty to make you feel better. My kitty (actually my son's kitty who was left behind) is always the best company when I am low.

Yesterday I took care of the cherries. I made some cheese, but it wasn't coming out well, so I quit. I stirred the red glaze.

The inspector couldn't come and I didn't do any evaluations, and so I must do them all today because they are due in the morning. I intended to reread them today for editing before sending them in.

My kitchen is a horrible mess. I never checked the mail, which kept papers out. I did make dinner. I filled the washing machine and forgot to start it.

I feel discouraged today. And I overslept. Dh did not set the alarm. I know that sleep is important, but it is always better when I go to bed early, not sleep late. Instead I stayed up too late last night.

But the inspector IS coming, and we have drywall being delivered this morning. I am going to do the farm chores, and then, aside from those two interruptions, I will focus on the evaluations like a laser beam until they are done. I am supposed to help at the food bank at 4:30.

Hi Joan--i appreciate your giving us a glimpse of your struggles. It is certainly a tough existence and I am so pleased you are here with us.

My kitty is next to me, purring away right now. She'll be thirteen this summer and she's so dear. She looks older to me, but that's fine. I do not look the way I did when I went to the shelter so many years ago, looking for a cat to be my co-pilot.

I only dusted one surface in the bedroom today. During lunch I went up to my mother's to change the litter box. Her regular cleaning lady is on vacation and the substitute doesn't clean the boxes (understandable--her usual person does it as a favor). After work I did some shopping I needed to do for a wedding this weekend,

I did finally clean my bathroom sink and the vanity and the toilet. The tub is still gross, as is the floor, but I'm getting there. I also cleaned the mirror in the bathroom, honestly this took no time at all.

I have the coffee ready to start up in the AM. all of the dishes are in the dishwasher and I wiped down the one clear counter.

I have to be at work on time tomorrow, none of my usual hijinks as we have an all-department meeting that starts promptly at nine. I am also presenting at it so I need to be use and awake.

One habit I've learned since I came here is I fold and put away my laundry. What a giant difference in my life. Takes no time.

Thank you both, Tatoulia and SubC, for the good wishes about my "sheets" (really a bare mattress). I remember when I was in my 20s how much I liked clean sheets. However, now I am demanding more from the universe: a body that sleeps deeply amd regularly. The universe is putting up a fight, but I'll win in the end.

Unfortunately I have no "team" on this plane to give me any practical help with my daily tasks, such as home maintenance, sheet changing, etc. There are many reasons for this, and most of them wouldn't be apprended even if I tried to explain, so I won't try. The nature of my job on the planet seems to require a monastic sort of life, meaning a solitary MONOastic life.

Tillie, glad you agree with me on the value of sleep and meditation. Love the cat stories. I gave up on pets about 15 years ago, when my goldfish Pumpkin died and I realized I was too sick to even keep a fish in good health. SubC, I have a life-long movement disoder that is very difficult to manage, plus other health issues.

Anony, I see your emotional upset as progress. Anyone who really sees what is going on and has been going on on this planet would be very upset. People are starting to see and respond to the conditions we live with here, and to question whether improvements are in order. You are an old soul, so you are a natural empath and are affected by the planetary shifts.

If I forgot anyone, my apologies. Tat, hope you feel better soon. You are doing the right thing to take care of yourself

I'm working from home today. Still sick but it's moving deeper into my chest which I see as progress. I am also going to fast today.

I am washing my bed linens now. Will dust and vacuum bedroom today and will again tackle the question of where to put my suitcase. There are more pressing matters but getting home from work yesterday and having my room clean was such a great feeling and I need to feel this way everyday. Get this to a habit level.

Good morning everyone!

Tatoulia, thank you for the encouragement. I'm not really sure if I'm managing more out than in, but I am trying. Since I am keeping the old shirts, yesterday was really an increas - the recycling had all come in from the grocery store recently.

Joan, I don't know your back story, but I am sorry you are struggling with such health issues! I also wish that someone (maybe your team in this realm) could fix your bed up for you. It seems like that might help with the quality of your sleep.

My big to do tasks for today are
make cheese
Freeze the rest of the cherries
And finish my evaluations.

Hopefully I also will be meeting with the building inspector, but the office isn't open to call yet.

Then I have work in the studio, work in the garden, work in the barn, laundry, dishes, dinner to make... The list goes on, but I won't get to all of that. Most important is to avoid spoiled milk and rotten cherries (and conserve resources!) and to keep in good standing at work. Focus!

PS to SubC, slot of people I talk to change their sheets every two weeks. I don't think you are outside the norm. My hair is bone straight and I have to wash it on days I go to the office and if I'm going out for dinner or meeting someone or doing anything other than just errands. It gets all bumpy and odd from sleeping.

Hello everyone!

So good to hear from you. Dear Joan, I wish I could put a sheet on that bed for you. I know much of your time and energy is spent on your health. I am pleased your health is getting better. I am mentally making your bed for you.

Anony, I know that frustrating feeling--all of us here do. Sometimes I feel I abused my privilege of owning stuff and now I'm stuck with all this junk and a place that causes me shame. Breathe, take a walk, have a cool glass of water, tomorrow is another day.

SubC, you are doing a good job of more out/less in! I am so glad you are part of this group--very helpful to have you here!

Tillie, aww the two kitties sleeping with you! I seem to remember you hang your sheets outside to dry. So jealous! Love that feeling if percale cotton sheets, dried in the sunlight and air.

Well I still feel really sick. Went into office today. Came home and slept. Very sore throat and very painful. I didn't even have coffee today, I just waited to eat at lunch time and merely drank water. Hopefully tomorrow I'll see some improvement.

Hi anony,I hope you figure it out.

So along with not washing my sheets enough I wash my hair too much ;D

I'm really tired this evening and just coasting. I dropped off the recycling today and I bought one pair of shorts at the thrift store. I was fiddling with the hem of my shorts (dh calls out "OCD") and my thumb went through the fabric. Yesterday the button fell off another pair. I'm starting to look like a scarecrow. But I will keep these shorts for "good" (wearing in public) and still wear the old ones on the farm until my underwear shows.

Stirred the glaze.

Did a big to do list thing that will reduce my expenses by 40 cents a day.

Thank you, Tillie! Thats an interesting idea! Ive been thinking about how to go about that?! .....ive also been ridiculously emotional all day..crying over everything.....

Hi Everybody 🙂

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
I was thinking...
maybe a teenager or a college student would be good help for you.
They are cheaper than professional adults and they are still young enough that their opinions are not yet set in stone.
They might be better at understanding what you want done and how they can help you.

Hi Subclinical 🙂
Yes, lots of stuff still comes in all the time. 🙁
And a big YES! I am always thinking about going out to the electrical box and switching off the power. LOL ;D

I change my sheets every time I wash my hair, about every five days.
My sheets & pillow cases get fuzzy from the two cats that always sleep with me.
Or since they hog the bed I guess I should say I sleep with them.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Have you found a good forever place for the luggage?
That's always a hard one because you want it safe & clean and somewhere close.

Hi Joan 🙂

Hi Porter 🙂

Hi CriticalMass 🙂

Time spent getting the sleep our bodies need is never wasted time.
Time spent in quiet contemplation/meditation is never wasted time.
Spending all day watching cute cat videos or playing solitaire could well be considered wasted time.
Everything in moderation.

Hello, to all!
Im getting so frustrated at myself. I just cant seem to get any momentum going. Its just so overwhelming. Id been considering attending an event out of state next month, but for many reasons have decided not to. Now im thinking if i could somehow turn not going into some kind of inspiration or accomplish things here as a tribute to my not going....i just can not understand how ive accomplished very difficult feats on my own, that are considered enormous challenges, even impossible to do without 'support'by our society, and yet i can not seem to simply clean my dang house....i think i need to just hire someone to help me in some way....at least try it.... 🙁

Joan, i can totally relate to your ~☆~Team in the Spirit World~☆~ In many ways i have more of a relationship with those who have left this 'Plane' than with those who are still here...♡♡♡
The shelf painting was harder than id expected. The black shelf is not easy to cover with paint, plus i didnt want to get any paint on my shoes, but the ground was too hot to be barefoot, so i had to wait all day for the sun to get behind the trees. Im hoping to somehow arrange my herbal remedies, tinctures, vitamins & supplements, etc. on this shelf...?...somehow...?