Sorry to hear about your continuing back pain, CM. YES get a clear space for the laptop. Glad bunny's rumble funny is better and hope you are 100% soon.

I think that's a very good idea re storage space. You can work on your living quarters, so it won't be as if you are losing time or losing ground.

I'm shredding today too. Garbage night. Much cooler here today/much more livable. Decided to work from home rather than go in.

Hi everyone, happy belated solstice. I usually like to mark the occasion by going out to watch lightning bugs. But it's been kind of a disjointed week. In addition to my backache, I got the stomach rumbles this week. And one of the bunnies had stomach trouble too! I had to hand feed her. She is doing much better and I'm doing mostly better.

In between all that, I had my various activities of quilt guild, etc. This afternoon and tomorrow I sit with my elderly lady and I wanted to make sure I had some lunch and snack things to take along, so the grocery store was another thing. And laundry.

Yesterday was also my clutter club - I told the social worker I'll just work on decluttering at the place where I live through the hot summer and then we can resume the plan to move the storage unit in the fall. Sounds like all of us are just settling in to endure the heat in our own way, doesn't it.

Tillie, I've been reorganizing my beads too. A friend of mine wants me to put together some bracelets and I have some of my own that need restringing. So beads are in my immediate future. That and continuing to get paperwork done and shredded etc. I need to clear a space to work on my laptop seated comfortably. I've been working in bed and that's not helping my backache one bit. Also want to get my sewing machine set back up. I think there are places for both, but paper and stuff occupies them now. So my goal is to dispatch that.

I'll say Happy Weekend today in case I get busy and don't get back to it beforehand.

Great work, Anony! I never did use Facebook because I have enough things wasting my time! Plus, working in an office, your co-workers make friend requests and that invariably leads to someone complaining to somebody about something or the other. Esp if the person posts while out sick or on disability, etc, or something political. So I've steered well away from that, luckily.

I am hardly a clean freak but I'm plugging away. As you know, if I don't post, I find I don't do anything. I need the reinforcement and support and cheers. I also feel good about seeing what I've done in black and white.

So pleased to hear from you, Anony! You are doing a great job!

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
WAY TO GO!!!! for working on that furniture.
I tend to eat more lately too.
The trick is to have lots of "healthy" type stuff around to munch on.
My favorite is nuts, all & any kinds of nuts. 😀
But I also need to have some sort of chocolate for when that craving crops up.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
So, what are you thinking about cooking?
I boiled some potatoes, carrots, onion & cabbage in broth.
Already had some cooked & sliced corned beef in the freezer to go with it.
It's all in the fridge and I just heat up a dish whenever I get hungry.

Knew that I would need to get out early today and water trying to beat the heat.
So, last night I went out and watered.
Today I don't need to venture out there.
Problem with watering after dark is trying not to step on any snakes.
I have 2 rolls of that nice "Contac" shelf liner, the kind that is not so sticky.
Thinking today I will reline some pantry shelves.
Also a good time to sorta dust, evaluate and arrange the shelf stuff since it will be moved around anyways.
Thinking of quiet, easy & cool things to do inside instead of vegging out watching Youtube/Netflix all day. 😀

~Good Morning!~
I know ive said this before, but reading y'all's posts honestly sounds like this could be a forum for compulsive clean freaks?! Y'all are getting a lot done! Each of you is seeming to have a good grasp getting done what you need to do with your home space?!
Between the heat wave & my facebook feed gone, im noticing i have much better focus. I say the heat wave, cuz i have to work around the heat, so i have to carry out plans, or its just too miserable later. I finally put plastic bags around my feet with shoes, and painted that shelf. That seems obvious now! Im going to assemble one of the new screen porch sofas today, hopefully.
Its funny how bored i get without facebook. And im eating WAY more, almost as if id quit smoking cigarettes...ha ha...its good! I like these new changes! I may clean off my night table today?!
~♡~Stay cool & happy, everyone!~♡~

I love the vision of the house--I have known people with full kitchens in their basements. Oh how I loved monster movies on Saturday afternoons! I spent part of my childhood in Illinois--very happy memories.

I need to do some cooking one of these days. I haven't cooked in a while and I'm hungry just thinking about it.

Hi Subclinical 🙂
Porter explained how he labeled all his storage bins so they would be easy to get back into the correct order after being moved.
This red rose bush is one of those old fashioned heritage species. The kind with the large blousy heavenly scented blooms.
I gathered all the petals and have them in a bowl on my dresser now.
I too tend to find myself flitting from one task to another all day long.
Sometimes it can't be helped when other things, people or animals demand your immediate attention.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Granma had a huge basement that we spent all our time in in the summer when it was hot.
But being in Michigan it was always so humid.
Her basement had a full kitchen, a pool table and player piano. Couches & chairs & tables & a TV.
Sometimes I would get my pillow and sleep on the pool table while watching monster movies on TV. ;D
My house here started life as a one room, no plumbing or electric home stead in a nearby town that is now an official mining ghost town.
So, absolutely no insulation with the 2 main windows facing directly west.
Thankfully I have a ceiling fan and a swamp cooler or I would die. 🙂

Decided all the cat's laundry needed to be washed today.
They are all happy now to have it back fresh & clean.
Did a little food cooking so I will have something to eat whenever I get hungry.
All in all it's been a nice puttering around day.

SubC thank you for describing your activities--gives me a berry good visual!

I live in a floor-through in an old Victorian townhouse. I have very high ceilings and very tall windows. I get great sunshine. My ceiling fans do a good job of keeping the air moving and when need to, I use the AC. I'm not a fan of summer and wish I had a pool to jump into or a nice cool basement.

I have fond memories of growing up in a house with both a pool and a nice cool basement. I'd tumble rocks and make candles and do woodworking and other projects. To this day just the smell of a basement can bring a tear to my eye. This year at Christmas my sister sent me a box of wood shavings. She'd been somewhere and there were curly wood shavings from someone planing, and she sent me a handful just to bring back memories. I enjoyed them for a week and then tossed. )I'm getting better!).

Once the sun goes down I plan to put on some puttering music and like you, start this thing and start that thing and I will feel greatly satisfied. I just need to sun to go down a bit, it is streaming in the back of my place right now. Bedroom is cool and dark as I've left the drapes closed all day.

*very not berry!

Happy solstice!

I loves firsts and beginnings and fresh starts. 🙂

Tillie, I am sorry about your roses. I keep trying to grow roses, but they always freeze. I don't want those "knock out roses" I want something old fashioned and charming. I'm going to try again when the addition is done because I have a south facing, sheltered concrete wall.

I love lavender too.

I can't imagine not speaking to a human for weeks! Actually, it sounds a bit appealing. Just having the drywall guy (who is very nice) here every day is wearing me down.

I'm afraid the stuff in the basement will just get unorganized. It's organized by being grouped in distinct locations, so I'm concerned that the moving with mix things up.

Tatoulia, how are your papers? When it is hot here I tend to work in the studio or basement because they are cool. I don't feel like I get a lot done, but I often have trouble focusing and tend to bounce around a lot. It drives dh nuts. He will " clean the kitchen" and then move on. I will empty the dish drainer, and then go do something else, and empty the dishwasher, and go do something else, and take the compost out, and do something else, etc, etc, etc.

There is an example of this from my studio project today. The tools get used and laid down, not usually washed and put away. So I emptied this nice 8 drawer rolling cart, and I decided to try to put most of the tools away - instead of having sponges or wooden knives everywhere and grabbing the nearest one and washing it, I could have a drawer full of clean ones and then maybe a jar of assorted relevant clean tools at each dedicated work station! (Mostly I don't put things away because I don't know where "away" is - the thing doesn't have a place)

I found a wire shelf, propped it up at an angle, and started looking for tools. The rare clean ones I put away, and the rest I washed as I found them and then laid them out on the wire shelf to dry. When the shelf got full, I quit and moved on to something different.

I have a pile of plaster molds that need to be washed. I had nowhere to put them, but now I have nicely lined (with salvaged drywall) shelves ready for them. So I grabbed one, brought it in, washed it, and set it on a towel in the corner of the porch to dry. I'll wash another one when this one is dry and put away, and eventually the pile will be done.

Today I have given about two paper grocery bags worth of stuff places. Also sorting and cleaning.

Hi Tillie! Hope you can get to the grocery store! I bet the lavender is beautiful. It is significantly less humid here but still warm. I just ran a bag of kitty litter up to mom and I brought her some cool water and a turkey dinner. Much hotter out than I expected. I am wearing a cool cotton dress breeze kept blowing it up.

I cleaned the area where kitty eats today and I'm working on kitchen counters. As long as I'm puttering, I feel positive. I will wait till tonight to shred papers. I literally have sweat on my face from my walk.

I was up at 3:15 AM because I was at too warm, even with ceiling fan on. I may just have to sleep with AC on tonight. Good sleep is worth it
Back to work for now, wishing everyone a wonderful day. We can do this!

HAPPY SUMMER SOLSTICE!
Today is the first day of Summer.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Good luck shredding the papers.
Hoping you and kitty are nice and cool inside. (((HUGS)))

Hi Subclinical 🙂
We have been experiencing many years of drought here so when it does rain I enjoy every drop.
Sorry you will have to relocate the basement stuff but it will be easier to manage now that you have it organized.

Hi Porter 🙂
Hi CriticalMass 🙂
Hi Joan 🙂
Hi Anonymoniker 🙂

Been enjoying this beautiful cool morning here.
My lavender that I grew from seeds is all in bloom.
Stupid white chrysanthemum (gift from neighbor friends last year) is blooming too.
It's a Fall flower and supposed to wait till Autumn.
Will need to go grocery shopping soon but worry about the heat.
Thinking I may need to consider going very early in the morning, like about 6:00am.
Fortunately, there is nothing I need to look for at the thrift shop and I NEVER go to yard sales. 😀
I have enough beads and beading supplies to keep me busy this summer.
Hoping Netflix gets more videos I would like to watch. Lately they have been posting way too many foreign language movies. 🙁
It's been weeks since I last spoke to a human.
With neighbor friends gone and Nate & Mrs. Nate moved to Washington state, I am all alone, except for all the cats, birds, bunnies, lizards & snakes here. ;P

I can picture the big raindrops, Tillie! SubC you get a lot done in a day! I tend to make very few plans in the summer due to my intolerance for heat and humidity.

cm--way to go! Getting those small projects out of the way!

My goal today is to shred papers. They are piling up.

Have a wonderful day everyone!! Keep up the good work!

Hi 😀

The day before yesterday my rosebush had 12 huge beautiful red blooms on it.
The intense heat cooked them into black shriveled sadness.
This evening another thunderstorm happened and it was truly amazing.
Strong cooling winds blowing furious and constant from the south.
Lots of beautiful rain here.
The drops were big and sorta hurt when they hit me as I stood barefoot out in the grass getting soaked. 😀

CM, I'm glad you're feeling better!

And good for you for tackling your projects! I feel like mine just keep piling up. Also today I committed to a thing that involves getting up very early so I can do my chores, drive a long distance, and volunteer all morning in a place full of people before driving another long distance to my next class. I will be working with kids though. It's not until July.

Also in July I will be painting our addition because the drywall is supposed to be done next week.

Tillie, I definitely think the recycling is the easiest. I found another box full working in the studio today. The box would hold 40lbs of clay (about a 5 gallon sized box.)

Did you get your rain? We get plenty of rain here in June and I don't really like to be wet unless I'm swimming, so I would not stand in it.

Dh had the hvac guy come to talk about changing some ductwork today. I'm going to have to move a lot of stuff I just organized in the basement. It's discouraging.

Porter how are you doing?

And everyone else, but I'm amazed by the move and furious for updates.

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
WTG! getting trash & recycling out!
I think that's the easiest task with the greatest results around here. 😉

Hi Subclinical 🙂
WTG! for getting trash and recycling out! 😀
It was good that you didn't buy the divided tray the first time, but after careful consideration returned and got it because it was exactly what you needed. 😀

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
WTG! tackling those little neglected tasks!
I find it amazing how doing just a few of them really adds greatly to my mood and general outlook. (((HUGS)))

Yesterday it was 100 degrees and the heat brewed up an early evening thunderstorm.
Very few drops fell here but it made it cool enough that I went out and watered everything.
Today it's supposed to get even hotter.
Doing laundry right now. Dries almost as fast as I hang it out. 😀
Plan for today is to just lay low inside with the cats.
Hoping for a thunderstorm with LOTS of rain drops here.
If it does rain, I will go out and stand in it. ;D

Hi all,

Tatoulia, I think vacuuming is just one of those clumsy hot stressful things to do. Maybe it'd be okay if one lived in a place with nothing but large empty rooms. But the dragging the machine out, navigating around furniture, wondering why either a) it doesn't seem to be picking up well, or b) what that acrid burnt rubber stench might mean - I exaggerate a little but I can tell you vacuuming sure isn't my fave pastime either!

Tillie, you're so right about how we hoarders procrastinate and let problems get out of hand. Even though I'm working against my own inertia, it's still a battle at times. He is definitely hardcore so I can see how it escalated to such an extreme over time. Keep fighting for your right to a functional toilet.

Subclinical, good work on several fronts there. And great the kids are on board with it.

I'm feeling better after my weekend mental crash. Got some sleep and am starting on my resolution to clear the backlog of several months - projects that wouldn't have taken much time at all but life kept pulling me away and the projects kept stacking up.

The good news is that the projects don't take that much time apiece. I just had to decide which one to start with. Got one all done today! On to the next one.

A fair amount of the projects are entering information from paperwork into the computer then the paper can go away. I'm cramped for space and have a backache. It started from not properly warming up for swimming Friday. I didn't want to get in the warm pool and stretch first; it was such a hot day I just wanted right in the cool pool. Bad idea. Then I think I slept on it wrong. Anyway, it motivates me to figure out a more ergonomic way to do the computer stuff.

I'm standing firm about being committed to not getting overcommitted.

Yay for vacuuming!

Our cat hates the shredder noise.

Tillie, I am so sorry about your bathroom! Trees? Ug!

Most of my daily triage list is focused on avoiding situations like that. So many turn up on a farm.

I filled the back of my car with recycling and dropped it off. Also took three plastic grocery bags of garbage to various places I shopped today (I toss them in the parking lot cans - I buy the trash at the stores, I take the trash back to the stores.)

Class, quick grocery run, and I bought a divided tray at the thrift store to sort and store some of my tools. That's an in, but I resisted it last time I was there and then regretted it when I was organizing, so I bought it today.

Short because I'm trying to get to bed by ten!

Thanks Tillie! I was smarter than the cat.... This time!

Got all my trash out. I need to do major paper shredding this week. Once again it is out of control. Maybe Wednesday--I'll be working from home and likely can find some time to do it. Cat-permitting, of course!

WAY TO GO! Tatoulia 🙂

See how the cat tried to thwart your vacuuming plans?
HaHaHaHa ;D

Vacuumed the bedroom! Took NO time. What is the matter with me?

Funny, cat woke up and ran into bedroom, but as I brought the vacuum into bedroom, she scooted back to her carrier. Dingdong.

Hi Tillie--so so sorry about the toilet situation. I am so sorry. Your 'rants' are so tame compared to where my rant level would be. I am so sorry.

I blame miss kitty for my lack of vacuuming butbtruth he told, she hasnt been in my bedroom all day. She's been here with me, sleeping in her carrier. Her carrier has a mesh top and the little thing has been sleeping in it since her return from BF's house. I don't have the heart to put it away. She must feel safe and cool in it. She's never been a box cat but this thing thrills here.

I did get a bag of ice and I took my recycling out. I will see if I can just pull out the vacuum and get it done. There is nothing on the floor to prevent me from doing it/don't need to pick up anything.

Thanks for helping me analyze the situation. The only thing stopping me is ME.

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Hi Cory 🙂
Hope you had a wonderful family time (((HUGS)))

Hi Subclinical 🙂
WAY TO GO! on getting things sorted out and reduced!
Great that the kids are helping with the letting go too.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
About the resistance to vacuuming...
Is there a bad memory of past vacuuming keeping you stuck?
Is there something you must do first before you vacuum that you hate doing?
Is it the vacuum it's self that you don't like?
Is it the cat encouraging you not to vacuum?
I know why I resist regularly vacuuming my room
it's the cats who all love my room and are always in there.
About coffee/tea...
I never drink hot things any more since "the change".
I brew enough tea for three days and keep it in the fridge.
It's a gallon of chai masala and a gallon of green tea with fresh squeezed lemon.
You could also brew a batch of coffee and keep it in your fridge.
I also bought ice cube trays at Dollar Tree and now have lots & lots of lovely ice cubes in a large baggie right next to all my freezer pops.
We must do whatever it takes to survive the Summer heat. (((HUGS)))

Friday I left a short letter sitting on his computer keyboard about the toilet issue.
He did not speak to me all weekend.
But he did take all his old nasty dirty bug infested scraps of carpet to the dump.
Then he filled the newly cleared out space with an assortment of random clutter.
I will continue the fight for a flushing toilet.

Warning...
unpleasant rant coming...
He is so very resistant because years ago the wax seal failed on the toilet allowing water to constantly seep onto the flooring.
The linoleum tiles lost their stickiness and fell away leaving the bare wood exposed.
The wood flooring has rotted from the constant water.
There is a large deep crack running along side the toilet in the flooring.
Trees sometimes grow through there.
The wood is squishy and the toilet rocks.
Someday it will fall through.
We had lots of fights when the wax seal first failed.
He would not lift out the toilet so I could replace the seal.
I can not lift a toilet, he can.
He has wax toilet seals in his hoard and kept saying he wanted to keep them in case we needed them someday.
I kept saying that this was the day.
He did eventually use one of his precious wax seals but all the damage was already done after so many years.
Now the floor and sub flooring all need to be fixed/replaced and he can't do that so we need to hire a contractor for the job.
All because he was saving the 2.50 wax seal for "some day".
Hoarding is expensive when things can be put right for pennies but are left so long that it takes hundreds/thousands to fix them later on.
Rant over...
Thanks for listening...

This is why I am so resistant to cleaning the bathroom.
There are lots of other issues with the bathroom too.
Why bother 🙁

Good morning SubC, Cory, Tillie, Joan, Anony. Porter, CM and everyone else! Hope I didn't leave anyone out!

Great work SubC!!

I took one item to consignment shop yesterday. The shop was very, very full and was difficult for mom to navigate. They have not sold the piece that is similar to the big piece I want to get out. One of the workers suggested I use Craig's List to get rid of the item--will likely sell better in an urban environment rather than out in the suburbs where the shop is. I'll have to see if I can move it to the common area for a short period of time as I will not want people coming into my home.

I am hoping, despite the terrible humidity, to dust the bedroom and vacuum it today. I have so many excuses on the vacuuming which is ridiculous since it is at most a ten minute endeavor.

I need to get a bag of ice today and switch to iced tea. No more coffee during these hot terrible days.

We had a nice dinner with the girls and our son in law.

I hope everyone else had a good day.

Yesterday I emptied and rinsed out three mostly used quart bottles of casting slip. I tossed them in the recycling. I also handed dd1 a stack of cards from when she was a kid and she sorted them in the spot. She took 2, I kept 3 post cards for the international stamps (I have a stamp collection box and it isn't full) and the rest went in the recycling. I did not save them for scrap paper or to use the pictures or anything!

The girls agreed that I can get rid of all the playdo, and any accessories except the barber shop. Dd2 really wants to keep the barber shop. So that will empty a couple of two gallon pails, plus whatever else I find as I clean out the cabinets the playdo is in.

Today I have class and I am going to haul away the recycling and some garbage so I should be able to see more improvement.

Thanks Tillie!
I am just heading home from New York, so hope to spend a few hours with family today.

Happy Fathers Day to everyone else it applies to 🙂

Yes! Happy Father's Day!!!!

CM thank you for your descriptive post--I could picture your struggles and I am glad you had a friend there yo help you out. I'm also pleased to see that you recognize that you need to take a step back and give yourself a break. You'd be able to tell a friend to just find some relaxation and it's good to see that you are able to tell yourself that.

As to me, I have done precious little other than sleep. I feel so rested. Did laundry this AM and now about to go see mom.

I know I do a lot of laundry, bearing in mind I have an apt sized washer and dryer,

Sheets & pillow cases = 2-3 loads each week
Cat blankets/sheets= 2 loads each week
Towels = 2 loads each week
Pjs= one load
General clothing=. 2 loads

Now that I've learned to fold & put away, I don't have to look st piles of laundry.

The dishwasher I need to run at least twice a week.

Cat box is completely changed out twice a week.

The above are my bare minimums each week and I do it. I need to expand:am doing a good job on gifting the bedroom but not as diligent with the vacuuming.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

TO PORTER AND CORY CHALMERS 😀

Good morning everybody.

Tillie, I hope things are better today. It amazes me that you can live in that situation and continue to be so warm and supportive towards us and our setbacks and little victories.

Joan, I missed you yesterday, but I am also glad that you were feeling better.

CM, I'm sorry you are losing your priest. Change and transition are hard. It is good that you recognize when you need time to step back and regroup. (I hid in my bedroom for three hours after I got home from jury duty)

You have made a lot of progress on your storage area. You will move it when you are ready.

My son in law's family breaks my heart sometimes. He's a really good guy. He does have a batch of great aunts and uncles on his dad's side, and he and his sister are close, but the stuff he has gone through with his parents the last few years! Anyway, dd grew up with me, so she is very good at being patient with the people she loves. They take care of each other and he makes her happy.

They are coming over today. The girls are going to cook dinner for dh, so I have to clean the kitchen. This will be son in laws 3rd Father's Day without his dad. Last year the kids were away on their honeymoon. Dh worries about how to approach his role, he wants to be there for both of them, but he doesn't want to make sil feel like he is trying to take his dad's place. For me it's easy - your mom is a nightmare, I love you, you are mine now.

His mom came to me during the wedding reception (before the cake was cut) and asked "can I go now?" I wanted to say "sure. You're done here. I got this." But I told her that whatever worked for her son was fine with me.

Anyway, back to the hoard. I got a magazine yesterday along with the regular mail that I've been falling behind on. But I found more recycling in the studio. The magazine pile is still less than 8" tall. (I keep it in an 8" tall space)

It is supposed to rain all day today, so after the kitchen and some laundry, I will go back to my studio.

Greetings everyone. It's been a hard time to get focused is why my posts have been further apart. But I love coming back and catching up on yours.

Porter - keeping your wits about you in the midst of chaos. Grasping your way inch by inch, tub by tub, balancing relationships like sorting mixed-together laundry. Deciding not to let alcohol add further chaos. You are climbing this mountain and you're a wounded warrior hero in my book.

Tillie - brilliant idea about the candles. Sorry he is being so difficult, angry, and stubborn. There is something that his hoard represents in his mind, whether it's a brain injury or miswiring or an emotional woundedness. Not your circus, but too bad the monkeys got loose and you have to fend them off from attacking your peace. Thinking of you and hoping for resolution. Every day you carve out your own peaceful space is a victory. And even on those days when it doesn't go so well, we're here for you 100%.

Subclinical, sorry to hear your kids have had to go through crazy trauma and drama with others. Hopefully the sorting associated with those events will have a finite end to it. It's great that you're working on setting an example with the child that has inherited the hoarding gene. I love hearing about your studio progress! My dream is to have space to work on my art, sewing, Steampunk, etc. Someday . . . and decluttering my supplies will help even if that dream workspace is not a reality at the moment. Thanks for the example to follow.

Anonymoniker, I so understand that love-hate relationship with Facebook! About 4 years ago I was ready to pull the plug. And so many times it still annoys me. But it's my only way to know what's going on with my extended family, and now some community things I'm involved in, such as my rabbit rescue group. So it's a necessary evil in my life. But I envy those who don't have the time suck it causes. I bet you'll get a lot more done!

I pray for all of us fighting this insanity.

Hi Joan, glad you had some relief from your movement disorder. Hope you get even more good days.

And now for my status report. It's kind of blah still. Even painful. I've been fighting off burnout and frustration. Today things kind of came to a head. I'd been going to go to this expo downtown on housing - hoping I could get some info on where I might move that I could afford on my Social Security but not feel like I was in a scary ghetto/trashy place. Not planning to move out from where I am until I build up some money again, and that's going to take awhile. Just fact finding. And my roommate had been given tickets for a music theater production in the afternoon. Both of us are introverts and it has been HOT here, but it was nice of the friend of hers to give us the tickets so we were going to go regardless.

So I get downtown, pull into a parking place by the expo and the library (was also thinking about going in the library for a few minutes) - and it hit me: I'd forgotten to put my cell phone in my pocket when I got up. Now you have to understand - as an agoraphobic, I think of my cell as my lifeline. It and my container with my meds. Finding myself out in public without either causes an immediate panic attack.

I was able to keep my wits about me enough to get into the library and use a courtesy phone to call a friend to "rescue" me. She followed me driving back home. By then I was crying but relieved. The thing is, I have been so strung out by stress and overcommitment (as defined by introvert standards, not "normal people" standards, LOL) that I had almost forgotten my phone a couple of other times within the past month. That is not me. Even with ADHD I usually remember my phone! A definite red flag that something's not right.

Back at the house, I was asked by my roommate if I was going back downtown. I said no, I'd just have to turn around and come back again to dress for the music theatre. So we went and ate and did an errand, and came back to get ready. Long story short, she couldn't find the tickets, so we ended up not going. I pointed out that there are soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan and places carrying full gear in the 120 or whatever degree heat so ours are "first world problems" and we should just absolve ourselves of guilt over losing track of a set of tickets. Perspective. Her life has been full of stress lately too. I figure the whole day may have been God's way of saying "Chill. Don't sweat the small stuff."

Anyway, I'm going to pull back, refuse any extraneous commitments. If I need to, I will employ the phrase "I'm not feeling well." Because I'm not. I've been in the mental ward, decades ago, and I have no desire to return, and if this crap doesn't let up, I'll be in danger of ending up there. I intend to start right here in this house, in my room and the part of the family room where I have some stuff, and go inch by inch, item by item, until every last bit of it is Dealt With. Because otherwise it is making me sick.

I've also been aware of the emotions that are probably going to hit tomorrow as our priest who's been pastor of our parish for 7 years has his last Sunday Mass with us before transitioning to a different parish. It's going to be weird; we've known for a few weeks but for me it's just barely beginning to feel real. Our new priest won't arrive till the first of August - fortunately we know him, he filled in some for our current one and he's a great guy, so that will ease the transition. In the meantime it'll be kind of odd with substitutes but they'll probably be familiar faces as well.

Forget the storage unit across town for now, unless I get to a point of readiness for dealing with, say, more boxes of photos to be scanned or something, then I'll go fetch whatever. The move to a closer storage unit can wait until fall when the weather is cooler. It's going to happen, but not at the cost of a heat stroke which would fry even more brain cells I can't afford to lose.

In short, CriticalMass has reached critical mass yet again. And she's drawing a line in the sand. Whether that is a mixed metaphor or not. Fighting back. So there!