| Tatoulia | Posted: 28 April 2017 - 07:01 AM |
Hello everyone--I've started a new chapter as the other one is getting unwieldy and this should solve Anony's missing button problem! Tillie, take good care of yourself today. I've asked Dr Scooter and Nurses Marty and Twinkles to check in on you. Porter, your three-day plan sounds terrific! WTG! | |
Replies (653)
| CriticalMass | Posted: 10 July 2017 - 08:30 AM |
Popping in I've been cat sitting. In the friends' 3,000 sq. ft. house. It is SO nice to be able to walk ACROSS a room instead of threading through it and sidestepping piles of stuff. Such a good reminder for me that when I get a place of my own, I want SPACE. Barring a miracle, I won't have a 3,000 sq. ft. place, either, so this is going to take some planning and work. However, since it's off in the more distant future, I shall concentrate on decluttering what's in front of me in the present day. The slideshow at Cory's event the other day showed pictures of people who have tons of books. I hope my books will be manageable when I get that place of my own. I've gotten rid of some, but I'll always be a book lover. Trying to use the library more, and wishing I liked electronic books as much as I do "dead tree books." Sigh. Back to the cat sitting - it's so quiet over there, too. I have taken naps two days in a row. Last week was hectic, lots of running hither and yon, and with my brain's annoying propensity to have lengthy weird disturbing dreams in the hours before I wake in the morning, once again nap sleep is so restorative because I wake before dreams begin. Best of all - I get a KITTY to lie on the sofa with me. All those cats (3) are very affectionate. I made progress on my quilt last week and am still going. The big rows are all sewn, and now I do the embroidery on the little squares for the rows between. Hoping that will go quickly. It's going to be so satisfying when I can take the finished quilt top to the church guild and say "Here she is!" They've seen some of the work in progress, but there's nothing like the big reveal. So many things for me have been stop and start, and I have spent so much time bogged down. Whether it's fun stuff or tedious stuff. This decluttering is helping me focus, even though I've a long way to go. Awhile back I had been thinking about setting a date for the moving of the storage unit. I'm wondering about Labor Day weekend. More on that later. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 10 July 2017 - 07:13 AM |
SubC--love the plan for the addition and love the expression for your heart daughter. You will find a place for your dolls. The teenaged girl staying with you sounds so lovely. Actually, your whole lifestyle sounds so lovely. You have so much going on and you manage it so well! Keep up the good work! Getting ready for work. Have a great day, everyone! Iced tea clinks! | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 10 July 2017 - 06:33 AM |
Thank you Tillie. Actually, the dolls will not go in the addition. The addition is going to be a very open and flexible space with carefully curated decor. The guidelines are going to be in part - we both love this, but either it is incredibly durable or we don't love it so much that we will be upset if the sometimes out if control grandson of our hearts breaks it. (I have a daughter who is not related to me by blood or law and she has a son. I call her my "heart daughter") The dolls will eventually have to have a space in the basement I think. I can't come up with a way to turn any other space in our house into my own space to withdraw from the world, and so, that will have to be it. Other things will come out to make room though. Books will go in the addition, and furniture, and kitchen/pantry things. And when everything is settled, I will be able to see what I have to work with and obtain new types of shelving to display the collection where I can enjoy it and only share it with people I choose. Tatoulia, Thank you too for the words of support! I'm glad your evening went so well! Sorry you have to go to work today. I have a bunch of homework to do for my class tomorrow. Also have to go to the animal pharmacy for a sick goat (tummy troubles) and the grocery store so I can feed my company. My friend and her son are touring local colleges today, but her daughter is staying here. She's 14 and self sufficient. Yesterday she brushed the bunny for me and then played with her for two hours. And by "played" I mean "watched her hop around and held out tempting green tidbits to be nibbled." | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 09 July 2017 - 09:18 PM |
*thoroughly cleaned toilet. Sorry for typos. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 09 July 2017 - 07:35 PM |
Tillie I'm glad you got to sleep in today! Oh boy that heat! Good thing you got the plants watered. Humidity is much lower here today. It game me a chance to work on the bathroom since I wasn't ssweating to death, I completely cleaned thtounket and in going to go finish th vanity. I did some work on the tub. I did my usual Monday laundry today. And I worked on papers too. So some progress. We did get out with brother. He was struggling today and at first wanted to cancel dinner but I was oat ring and asked him an hour later if he had reconsidered, and he had, so we went . He was very very quiet and a little abrupt during dinner but he ate well and ebpven managed to have a laugh or two by the end of the night. Mom had a great time and that meant a lot to me, I'm going to putter some more and get ready to go into the office, generally I love Sunday nights since I'll be working from home on Mondays. Tonight is not one of those lucky Sundays. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 09 July 2017 - 06:11 PM |
Hi Everybody đ Hi Tatoulia đ Hi Subclinical đ Woke up about 6am today and planned to go out and water the flowers while it was still cool. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 09 July 2017 - 11:15 AM |
We've missed you. SubC! Happy to hear that you are actively working on keeping the input lower than it was! I am sorry your friend made you feel defensive. They are your dolls and you love them. I don't know why people go into other people's home and comment on the decor. (Btw, when my friend said you have too much stuff, I was in the midst of reducing so it was helpful not hurtful/-but if someone came in and said, you have too much stuff I'd be crushed) Thank you for your kind words. I'm barely keeping my head above water with the family stuff. It eats away at me and jerod me up at night and then sadly I use it as an excuse not to do stuff around here. Che the putter music. Iced tea clinks! | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 09 July 2017 - 10:40 AM |
Coffe clinks! My internet was out all day yesterday and part of Friday. Porter, I'm sorry your friend made you feel bad. But I feel much better knowing that you are checking on zoning rules and such. Your boulder circle sounds very cool! I am a hoarder. It doesn't bother me. Using different words won't change anything. Two of my girls are alcoholics. They don't drink, but they are still alcoholics. It's part of their genes. My house is much better, but I still have difficulty discarding items. I am still driven to over shop at the grocery and gather unwanted materials of many kinds and repurpose "trash". I still have trouble with executive function and decision making. I am very comfortable in crowded disorder. Now that I am doing better people try to reassure me by telling me I am not a hoarder. I don't find this reassuring. It dismisses how hard it is for me to be where I am. As if I did a long walk on crutches and then when I said "I walked 5 miles!" I was told "well, you're able bodied." But one of my best friends is here visiting. She arrived last night. And she commented on the dolls in the guest room. The words were neutral, but the tone was critical. That made me feel sad and hurt. She is not someone I normally have to feel defensive around, and there are very few of those people, so it was more painful than it might have been. My chart is quick and easy. It is just a little check for each room. Most rooms will be "same" every day. " Same" is good. Anony, it is great that you are making progress! Doesn't it feel good? I always feel much lighter after I manage to take a big step like that. I will be very happy if I can meet you at "done" in three years! I am going to need at least another year to finish my addition. Right now I am painting it and getting almost nothing else done. I'm really sorry you have to deal with pain around your family stuff. I hope you can find a solution that brings you comfort. Families can be really hard. Tillie, you are taking good care of the cats. I wish I could send you some of the rain we have had lately. my yard is a muddy mess. Tatoulia, that is great about your brother and your mom! It's not like you are paying your mom's friend to be her friend, you are paying her for her home health aide skills so that she doesn't have to sell them somewhere else during that time and can be with your mom. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 08 July 2017 - 07:53 PM |
Congratulations on your new summer dress, Tillie! I love a summer dress. I rarely wear pants. I like dresses and skirts best. I could use some new clothes right now but I'm unhappy with my weight and would prefer to wear what I have for now. I have enough work clothes, esp since I am home two to three days a week. I don't really have enough casual clothes. But that's neither here nor there in the long run. Took a bag of miscellany to goodwill today. Love passing my things on. Love it. Feels so good to just get the bag filled and out. Heard from mom. She is still high as a kite and she told me the friend said she's coming next week. I have devised s plan with overseas friend re paying for visits three times a month. It'll work just fine. My BF likes the idea too and since he also knows and loves the woman, he thinks it'll be great if we can get her a couple of times a month. They can go for wheelchair walks or to the museum ir just stay in and have tea. I'm pretty excited about seeing my mother so happy. We are taking mom and brother out for dinner tomorrow night for brother's birthday. He has chosen a fairly nice restaurant. I'm excited. He has come a long way. Not even ten years ago his mental illness prevented him from going into restaurants or public places. And now he's suggested a fairly nice restaurant. I'm pleased for him. Puttering. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 08 July 2017 - 06:44 PM |
Hi Everybody đ Awww, thank you Tatoulia (((HUGS))) Hi Porter đ Hi Anonymoniker đ HI,HI,HI to everyone! đ Got up super early this morning and went to town to fetch some water. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 08 July 2017 - 03:58 PM |
Anony, congratulations on your hard work in the kitchen! So good to hear you happy! Tillie the humidity was much better starting last Sunday. Today it's a little heavy but we are expecting thunderstorms followed by cool air tonight. It was cool enough last night for having the windows open and the ceiling fan on. Mom so enjoyed her company last night. Mom called me around 9 PM and sounded happy and excited. She said they enjoyed the tea and the cookies and that they had a good old fashioned chin wag--a phrase which I had not heard before but is perfectly descriptive. This particular friend works as a home health care aide, seven days a week. My overseas friend suggested that I hire her to come to mom's once a week (without mom knowing about the payment part). We have known this woman fr over a decade as she used to take care of a friend of mine and we have included her in every holiday festivity for years. When my friend died, I still invited this woman to join us for holidays but she generally works those days. I will approach her gently as I do not want to offend her. I'm not sure what the going rate is but I'd gladly pay for a few hours every other week. My mother has so little in common with her home aides (and in fact is taking a break from them right now)and doesn't really have a friendship with them. i had offered to pay for dinner for them last night and my boyfriend separately offered to buy them dinner. I think if I go gently I can figure out if it's doable. Day with brother was lovely. So lovely. I am now doing laundry and going to see if a little puttering music is a good idea. Take care dear friends. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 08 July 2017 - 09:12 AM |
Porter, I know it's tough to be called a hoarder. I remember feeling very defensive when someone called me a pack rat. I'm not sure having a comeback for your friend is necessary. Just weather the storm. What makes you feel your house is organized is someone else's chaos and vice versa. It is all relative. My bedroom is clean and clear. I have just the furniture I need and like and I am happy with how it is decorated. Someone else could come in and say, her dresser shouldn't have anything on it or she doesn't need that much art. It's a personal opinion, said through someone else's eyes. You don't need to agree, but you don't need to defend it either. Just appreciate that there are many approaches to stuff. A few years ago I had a friend staying with me and she said, you have too much stuff. I totally understood and together we worked onreducing. I know I have too much stuff, even after getting rid of bags and bags and bags and boxes and boxes and boxes. I cannot rest on how much I did a few years ago, i need to keep moving forward and keep on reducing. It's tough and hard but I'm doing it. Iced tea clinks, everyone! I'm off to spend day with brother. Hoping he will have a happy day. | |
| Anonymoniker | Posted: 08 July 2017 - 08:49 AM |
~Good Morning, all!!!~ | |
| Porter | Posted: 08 July 2017 - 08:14 AM |
It's 830 am dinner wentsystems I served 12 porter house steaks. I Bought them ON sale. there doesnt seem to be anytime go looking for more bolders. When i talk to her I talk to her while im in the art room. I may spend about a 90 min on the latrine plans. While I'm in the basement doing laundry. There's a city ordnance requiring permit and the storage tanks have be compliant. Will cost $1,000 each on an unproven investment. It has to be a two tank system. One is always collecting and the other is pressurized. So its too complicated to do both functions with solar wind and gravity. Too little energy to keep pressuring over and over. Once I get the the latrine and hydrogen tanks set up . this means if it can be flown unmanned it can carry 100 lbs of product. By installing the remote system.with room to spare. I may never succeed but I'm drawn to trying like a moth to the flame. | |
| Porter | Posted: 07 July 2017 - 09:34 PM |
Clinks with my choffee | |
| Anonymoniker | Posted: 07 July 2017 - 09:31 PM |
Porter, in all honesty, from your description of each part of your house, it sounds completely normal to me?! It sounds simple, but comfortable. Did your friend ever see your last house? Was he in the kitchen when he said that? That room sounded a little fuller maybe? I think it is almost like a fad to accuse people of being a hoarder these days. Youve done an amazing job with all youve had to deal with. Maybe you can just ask him why he said that? I am always just blown away by what you accomplish when i read your posts. Im sorry he said that. What does his house look like? Is it just his bed & a sofa, with no food, books, or comforts of any kind? Maybe hes a hoardaphobe....ha ha | |
| Porter | Posted: 07 July 2017 - 09:15 PM |
I'm suddenly had a bout of anxiety. My kitchen is packed tight. I mean to say . My porch minimal just chairs a fire pit and a grill. the upstairs art room I struggle with space because it's small. But the area doubles as a couch for guests to sleep on. And a second entertainment area. Craft area. Storage of everything related to pencils and papers. Also musical instuments. A large screen TV where 1 or more people can connect to you tube and practice music lessons or post to you tube if they wish. It air conditioned. My bed room is filled with office furniture. And I don't have a bed. I have a blow up matress. I keep it in the closet until needed . And the rest of the rest of the time my bedroom is well organized place for a physical office. You would never know it's where I sleep half of the time. Its the smallest room in the house. By choice. But there too is no room any more stuff. I'm packed in the office bed room with some tools I don't want exposed to damp . Do my bed room is like a tightly packed room where it's wall to wall filled with my stuff . When the air matress is in place there is no room to stand up. To stand up I have open the door . Which I Reversed To Open Into THE Hall Instead Of Into THE room. However I do have 3 chairs. The last room is daughters room. When her room was filled with garage. She had no friends. so all halls are clear. Theres not much open spaces as my four bed room house with basement is very small .no room has more than a 12 foot wall. So . There are all in tbe other room playing cards. it's time to start up the grill. The only comeback ive come up with for anyone calling me a hoarder. I'm working g on tbe outside porches as they give lots of free open spaces to loiter around . And poke at fire while bored after losing money. Gambling can hurt if you lose to much to fast. And if I keep them near the action it gets tense. So I keep putting g thought into the outside. I gotta go. | |
| Anonymoniker | Posted: 07 July 2017 - 09:15 PM |
Tillie, i cant imagine the smoke being that thick if youre not in danger of the fire? The poor kitties? You are an awesome cat mom! | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 07 July 2017 - 08:23 PM |
You are the world's best cat mom, Tillie. I will hold you in my heart forever. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 07 July 2017 - 06:26 PM |
Hi Tatoulia đ WTG! for tossing the Kleenex box when it was time đ | |
| Tillie | Posted: 07 July 2017 - 06:17 PM |
HI đ Our Dear Roxie started this with her morning "coffee clink" toasts. Good plan Subclinical to have a progress chart. WTG!!! Anonymoniker for tossing those ancient paper plates! ;D Hi Tatoulia đ Hi Porter đ The smoke was cleared out this morning and I was able to venture out and do early morning watering. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 07 July 2017 - 06:01 PM |
*The box Sorry I don't proofread. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 07 July 2017 - 06:00 PM |
Hello Anony--great work! So hard to let go of paper products--and you did it! I finally threw out a box of Kleenex that had been my grandmother's. On the back it had an offer for a bonsai tree, if you can believe it. He offer expired in 1972 or some such. I'd had it for years, it was getting old and dusty, and one day it got wet and I through it out, and I'm good with that. It was time. I too am worried about Tillie--write when you can! Or see if Marty or Scooter could do a quick drive-by. I'm not very productive these days but no backsliding thank goodness. Just no progress. | |
| Anonymoniker | Posted: 07 July 2017 - 05:24 PM |
Hey, everybody?! đ | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 07 July 2017 - 09:17 AM |
Thank you for the positive feedback! I really need it on social interactions, which sometimes drives my family crazy. I want them to analyze everything and tell me how I did. Very little of it comes naturally to me. I am better with children which i think is mainly because I have an education degree with a minor in developmental psychology. (For me children kind of do come with instructions) The balance between rational, practical decisions and other people's emotions can be especially hard - worse the fewer experiences I have with that person. I made myself a chart (I love charts) I used some three lined paper from when my kids were learning to print and made columns for days. Then I listed all the spaces in my life from bedroom to yard. Each evening I am going to check off a level for each space - better, same, or worse (based on the results of my actions and ignoring entropy like dust and the fact that weeds get taller every day). It will help me see where I am making progress and where I need to refocus. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 07 July 2017 - 07:05 AM |
Coffee clinks are great! There was a delightful woman in here who used to iced tea clinks with people--Roxie. She was clinking long before I got on here--who knows, maybe she invented it, maybe she learned it from someone else! Tillie might have some history on this! SubC, you are doing a great, even, steady job on your work. You did a great job limiting what you took home, and I think you did the right thing by not being rude re the bread. Next time maybe grab a smaller box or tell the woman--I'm putting the chickens on a diet or something sweet but getting firmer? I too would have taken the filled box. Your self-awareness was right on target! Congratulations! I need to finish getting ready for work and get garbage gathered up. Thinking of you all and wishing you a wonderful day!!! | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 07 July 2017 - 05:32 AM |
Good morning! I have no iced tea, can I clink my coffee? It won't sound as cheerful though. Tatoulia, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Depression is an awful beast. I have been taking baby steps literally for years. One of my daughter's homeschooled friends once said that learning to read is like replacing your teeth - some of us start early, some start late, we loose a lot at once or one at a time, but we all end up with a full set. I'm hoping my baby steps will get me there. Tillie, take care of your lungs! CM, that is cool that you got to meet Cory. It sounds like a great experience! Porter, I don't really understand your bathroom situation, but be sure not to get in trouble with zoning and neighbors. I also don't understand how you can make money on the poker games serving food like that. How much does each person pay to play? I have a question that I hope won't offend you. You can ignore it. Are you bipolar? I am asking because I haven't known you very long, and I know that this is a time of huge changes for you, but the tone of your posts seems really variable. my friend and roommate used to swing into action like this and start so many great things, but then she would get ahead of herself and she would crash and be overwhelmed by it all, and stay in bed for days. If that could be you, I hope we can keep you aware of your moods and actions and help you avoid tipping points. That's all. You sounds really up right now though, and I hope that is good and you are a normally high energy person who was just overwhelmed when I showed up. So, yesterday I didn't bring anything home from class except three pages of notes. I think I got too much bread at the food bank, but it went like this - Jim is back, but when I showed up he offered me a bag of lentils that had gotten wet. I accepted. Then Ruth decided that if chickens liked lentils, they should also have the pasta that arrived in torn bags and spilled everywhere. Ok, that is plenty. But then at close there was a lot of bread to clear out, and Ruth thought I should take a box. The box she found was really big, so I helped her fill it halfway and told her that was plenty (I figure the pasta will keep a really long time). But when I went in the back to get my bag, the other Ruth filled my box to overflowing. She told me "I filled that box up. There's plenty of bread!" I didn't want to be rude, so I just said " wow! I may have to get more chickens." And took it. Progress last night though - I realized that there is room in the studio barn to keep my box of bread - instead of the basement. It's not quite as cool, but still good and dh will be happier not having moldy bread in the house. A little farther for me to walk during chores, but no stairs. Also yesterday I recycled all the mail and sorted through my "in box" and filed a few things and recycled a few things, so even with my notes the paper monster shrank a bit. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 06 July 2017 - 07:31 PM |
Tillie, I am just so sorry about the smoke. I sish I could send some clean fresh air your way, it must be terrible trying to take a deep breath. Cm loved LOVED hearing about your day! And that was smart of you to reach out to other people-- I'm just home from work. Dropped some food off at mom's. She is terribly depressed and not eating meals with the other people in assisted living, One of our friends is stopping by to visit tomorrow, so I dropped off some cookies and tea and fruit. I'm just eating my dinner but wanted to check in on everyone. | |
| Porter | Posted: 06 July 2017 - 05:59 PM |
I have everything done. so what im thinking on . so that is going well 1-2 new person a week. first game starts at 7pm and second game at 11pm I enjoy it that's why I do it. The cleaning isnt so bad.as clean as I go . And if im making about $50 per game after expenses then it's paying my rent. In this way im putting $1,000 per month. Towards savings. then I'll re evaluate the poker nights frequency. My creative outlet im designing a latrine . then it goes in hand with my other projects. As both flying bike and clay mass walls require utilizing hydrogen from urine. To provide energy. So in my real world application so I've been taking long ways home gathering from neighborhoods that having heavy trash . Its just who I am. My plan is to use gravity, wind and solar. And hopefully it may make a major difference in my current winter heating bill. I hoping to have only $70 a month during winter months. by heating the house weekdays at just above freezing on days where outside Temps don't go below 32 degrees but on weekends during games it'll be toasty. From natural gas. I'm excited to start work on this and a gazebo that will eventually have a small whirlpool pool built into it. | |
| CriticalMass | Posted: 06 July 2017 - 03:52 PM |
Ooops! I spelled Cory's name wrong! My apologies! I'm usually more accurate with that sort of thing but I guess I was excited, or maybe I've known more folks with the name spelled the other way. There was a very positive vibe at the event. I probably should've gone and spoken to the guys who are doing the franchise, but I just had so much on my mind, taking it all in. Told some people about the local clutter group I go to in case they were interested. Cory has met our social worker leader before and I wrote down where/when we meet and which community organizations it's connected with so he could pass the info on to anyone interested. What a cool opportunity this was, and I just happened to see it on Facebook! | |