Congratulations CM! What a terrific day you are having!!!

WAY TO GO!!!!
CriticalMass 😀

At the Steri-Clean event. Just met and had lovely chat with Corey! 🙂 Will catch up later or over the weekend with your posts and my news since the end of June. Everyone have a fantastic day!

Good mornin'

Winds shifted last evening bringing all the wildfire smoke this a'way again last afternoon.
There is no escape from it.
The cats are suffering, I am suffering.
At least I was able to catch up on a few things yesterday while the smoke was blowing in a different direction. 😀
It's the direction that the wind travels that causes so much smoke to come this way.
Fires in northern California and even as far away as Alaska can cause smoky air here. 😛

Happy to read all your postings about what you all are up to and especially your thoughts and insights on everything. 😀

Iced tea clinks!

Leaving for office. Enjoyed your thoughtful post SubC. I understand your mil -- she is also judging how much people love her by the items they take. Oh our possessions. So difficult. We love them, we think they love us back, we use them as a measure of love for the gift giver and recipient. It is tough. Many, many years ago I made a rule that no office gifts make it into my house. No candles, no trinkets, no nothing. I dispose of before getting home. But that's the easy stuff. It's the tough stuff that brought me here!

Wishing everyone a wonderful day. Oh, I relocated the art that was hidden by my new lamps. Now to deal with the living room art. Ugh. Baby steps. I need to take some big girl steps soon.

Good morning!

Porter, I'm glad you are finding things you can use. Just be sure that you are doing projects and using them and not spending too much of your time and energy collecting them for "later"

Tillie, I'm glad the smoke is better. Fire really scares me. I can't imagine living somewhere where there were wildfires.

Tatoulia, you do spend a lot of your time caring for your family. I am impressed that you manage three households. I can barely manage one.

Anony, You are Wonder Woman!

I also have a hard time with sentimental things. If I were forced to cut my possessions way down, I would probably get rid of all of the useful stuff just so I could keep the sentimental stuff.

I also went through the dividing possessions and estate when my grandmother died four years ago. It was a long drawn out process - it took a year to empty the house, but there were few disagreements and no fights. Probably because we all had pretty much the attitude that my cousin and I agreed on as we were sifting through the attic - the most important and valuable thing my grandparents gave us was each other. (There was one toy we both loved as kids that neither of us would take because all we could remember now was how much we fought over it)

The thing with my mother in law is that she is not dying, at least not any faster than anyone else. She could easily live another 20 years. Also, she doesn't want to give away anything that is actually important to her. When you tell someone "my mother painted these dishes but if nobody wants them I'm just going to get rid of them." They are not obligated to cherish the dishes. Particularly when you have a history of explaining to people at length why many many random objects are extremely important and/or valuable.

Sometimes when she gets rid of the actually "valuable" (usually not nearly as valuable as she believes) items she announces "I'm going to sell this because it's worth a lot of money, but if anybody would like it for a Christmas present they could have it."

She has a careful formula for exactly how much money should be spent on each family member each Christmas to indicate the correct amount of love for that degree of relatedness. So if you ask for the item, she then deducts the value she believes it has from her shopping budget for you. Sometimes I ask for stuff dh wants because I wish she wouldn't buy me anything.

It's amazing I am the hoarder and not dh, except I think he hates stuff because he got stuff instead of love. All of my stuff was given with so much love I sometimes have trouble remembering that the two are not intertwined. (My grandmother is gone, but I still have this stuffed pig that was given to me solely to make me happy because she loved me. I can't SEE the love, but I can see the pig, which reminds me that I also got the love...)

Today is very full. I need to work outside this morning, but may be stopped by rain. It is a food bank day, so my focus is accepting no more than a rational amount of stale bread. I also have a class so I must remember that I don't have to keep everything I make. It is the learning through the making that I need to hold on to.

Stopped and looked through piles set out for heavy trash pick . And used screw drivers to pull out some of the fasteners ans knobs. So I don't pay extra for projects.

And I sometimes find a bunch of matching knobs.
and assorted sized pipes and other things.

the trick is once my home has all the fixtures fixed or upgraded. To let it go.

I need bars to keep fixing up the grill .
and I'm keep making plans towards a gazebo so I keep looking for things to help build the foundation.

Hi Everybody 🙂

WAY TO GO!!!!
Wonderful to read all your posts 😀

Smoke has thinned out a little today.
Wasn't as sleepy/tired all day and got a few things done around here.
Nothing major, watering, laundry, dishes, etc...
Too hot to bother vacuuming right now.

Anony, it makes me smile to read how much you are enjoying your clean and clear spaces! Makes me happy--important to enjoy our hard-earned results.

Thank you for the kind words. It can be very wearing and wearying to take care of my family. Encouragement from friends like you make it so much easier!

As to my relationship, I am very lucky. He is a very kind person with great integrity. Not living together and not being married certainly helps. I have never wanted to be married and I am very, very fortunate that I met him once I was in my 40s and not the best candidate to start having a family. I would hazard a guess that if we had met in my 20s or 30s it would have had a different outcome. Of course, we don't know what the future holds but we have a peaceful relationship. It's easy, uncomplicated and very peaceful. I think it's out there, Anony, and I think you'll find it. I really do. It'll sneak right up on you.

I have a full bag ready for goodwill. I took my quilt to the laundromat for laundering.

~Good morning all!~
SubC, i remember having such a hard time choosing sentimental items. Anything involving rejecting things has always been difficult. After seeing so many family fallouts over things of loved ones that passed on in recent years, i think the more of that done ahead of time, the better for all involved!
Joan, YEA! Maybe tossing those old papers is helping you feel better?!
Tatoulia, you are such a wonderful sister! You take such good care of everyone around you! I still want to have a bf relationship like yours, someday, too!
Tillie, were having lots of fires here, too. Our sunsets have been gorgeous lately from the fires, just like you described. Last night's sunset was far more spectacular than the fireworks!
Im am amazed how im affected by the areas ive improved! Its not my whole kitchen, just the dining area half, plus seeing out that glass door to my new sofa on the screen porch. I can stand in several different places & see it from different angles & it makes me feel soooo incredible!!!
~☆~I AM (part time) WONDERWOMAN!!!~☆~ ha ha

Good work on the papers, Joan! Maintaining the balance your health requires is a full-time job. You are doing great!

SubC I've missed you! Great to hear about your visit. That is tough for your mil--she wants people to treasure it and love it as she did, and the family is trying to love it in their own ways. Your husband was smart to wait to email his list. And good work on getting some items you will treasure and use without going hog wild!

I am working today and going to see if I can't get a few household things donee. I've started a bag for good will,

So much going on!

I am happy for anony's kitchen and Joan feeling better, and porter who seems to be grabbing life by the horns!

Tillie I worry about your fire.

And tatoulia and CM, keep up the good work - slow and steady.

I am home now. My home always seems more open and less full after we visit our parents. They have such big houses with so many things everywhere. All organized and clean, but full, full, full. If I filled all my walls with pictures and shelves and cupboards and stored things under all the beds my house would look more organized.....

I didn't meet any goals at mom's house, but we had a good visit. Mil is preparing to die. She is labeling everything in the house with when and where it originated (belonged to, purchased in...) and cost if known. I picked up a cute little rabbit sculpture and it had a label on the bottom that said "made by (mil) as a child, as a gift for (mil's grandmother)" she is also trying to give things away that have family history but she doesn't like. Dh insists on going last.

She had a hand painted china set painted by her mother and the 'kids' (all over 40) made her angry because she told them that if they didn't take it, she was getting rid of it. Then her daughter took the candlesticks, which I guess was ok, bil took one cup and saucer (you can't take one cup and saucer! Now there is an odd number! At least take two!) and dh took the cream pitcher which was signed and dated "you just want the pitcher? You have to take the sugar bowl." "No I don't" "but you can't just take the pitcher!" "Yes I can. It's the thing I want. Are you giving it to me or not?"

She made dh and his siblings and my daughter go through the house and make a list of anything sentimental that was important to them that they would want. Dh insisted on e-mailing his list after we got home because he didn't want to listen to her be upset that out of the whole house there were 7 items and 4 were small, heavily used toys from his childhood.

Besides the pitcher, she gave dh a pocket watch and I took a wooden rack to use for tools in my studio (I almost had to give it back because I told her what I was going to use it for and it's supposed to be for belts.), a plastic lunch container, and a really cool antique lap desk (it belonged to dh great- great grandmother)

I could have bought the rack at goodwill for $2 and haven't, but I figured it was free.....

You know, I've always thought my mom was the hoarder, but as I write this, I realize they both are, they just hoard for different reasons and mil has more money and is more of a snob about her stuff.

Anyway, back to sorting through my life today. I am preparing my in/out list but don't want to post it until I actually go to goodwill and drop stuff off. It may be a "first half of summer" list instead of June.

Awake in the middle of the night. Threw out a few papers (to recycling). Not enough to even dent the mounds of old papers I have, but I am still inordinately proud of myself. I keep trying to clean up, but my health has always collapsed on me in the past.

I am starting to feel surprisingly better. Fingers crossed.

Mopped brother's floors. Went really well. Now getting ready for BF's bbq. I stopped by on way home and it is about to start, so I'll head over very soon. It should be fairly low-key since the city is empty. Then later on tonight we will head over to the fireworks. So grateful the weather is nice.

Wishing you all a wonderful Independence Day!

I think we cross-posted again, Tillie! The wildfires sound so scary. It must be difficult to have the atmosphere filled with smoke. Stay safe and tell the kitties I say hello.

Happy 4th everyone!

I'm going to do a quick few things here and then head out to brother's to mop his floors. Then I'm going to run home, get cleaned up and go to BF's cookout.

I hope brother can be reasonable today. I will work extra hard on keeping myself together. His birthday is approaching and for some reason he starts a massive fight just before his birthday, then he cries. So I'll ignore today and not engage.

Hope you all have a beautiful 4th of July. I have had four days off from work and my living room is still a mess. But it's better--took care of a lot of papers.

Happy July 4th! 🙂

Wildfires burning all around northern Nevada.
The air is thick with smoke.
The sunset last night was a deep vibrant orange.
The sunshine today is very yellow from filtering through the smoke.
No rain predicted to help wash it all away.
It will be another day stuck inside to keep out of the 100+ degrees.
Thank goodness for Netflix and Youtube ;D

I hate stubbing toes. I'm a baby in that regard.

Anony
I keep finding ways to become empowered over thclearance wasI tell you the view from my house from end to end all done. Nearly perfection. Is such a rush of empowerment. I just put into words how it makes me feel.
all the social and family problems aside. When my place is a mess im a mess too. I get so used to it. But when is all sorted. All organized all put away. All accessible. I do feel like a hero and the person trapped in the hoard needed saving. And now I'm free. I feel so energized by it.

I went out today in neighborhood looking for metal bars.
because the grill is in really bad shape leans and tips back too easily. I did find metal broom sticks and several stoves with broiling pans the make for better coal placements. I went to hard ware and bought the grill paint
and it was good to use tools from my tool area that is well organized . at the hardware i asked if any clearance could fit my project and the clerk gave me a grill rack free of charge because he was told to throw away.

So its looking as good as new ones.
not only that but I looked up on letgo *grill accessories
and bought a case with everthing in it. And the things in my basement hoard for tenderizing and marinating. Even some injection stuff.

I've been working on the shelves in the kitchen a little each day. And if I had the energy I would finnish them. But yawn.
I'm just going to call a good day and sleep until my eyes pop open on their own .
I'm going to join a new gym tommorrow for a free 30 days and see if I can find some players.
Fasting and strength training was difficult last time . But ive learned more Much more. But that's a different post on and different thread on a different forum.

zee you later.

Congratulations on the kitchen, Anony! You worked hard and it has paid off!

I am just telling myself, how about doing a little something in order to keep productive. I'm very pleased with the amount of paper i worked through and I hope my 'assistant' is ready to help me again tomorrow!

Believe it or not, we have garbage pickup tomorrow so I'm going to gather mine up and get it out!

.....i am loving going into my kitchen & realizing how'normal' it has become now!!! There are only a few little areas of disgusting disorder in there now....i feel a new sense of power..i look around at other previously overwhelming areas id seen as beyond my control, yet ive now aquired the superpowers to fix them, too...and my Wonderwoman dolls are trading wisdom with the older Thailand lady doll....they all have unique nuggets of advice, suggestions & truth for each other to benefit from! ~☆♡☆~

Tillie, im so glad your hurt toe is better?! And i love what you said about post-it notes & lists! I have also thought about that! You are right! 😀
Tatoulia, thank you! Ive never heard of anyone doing this, but it does help me. If you think of what criteria you have for hiring help on something, then becoming that assistant & pretend youve been hired by someome like you, to help. I have 2 rules with supportive statements,the same ones i use with others, too. First, it has to be genuine/true. Second, it must be helpful.....hopefully, doing this wont cause a split personality disorder...but if it does, ill have a live-in assistant?!! ha ha 😀
Porter, i think its great youre letting loose & having fun! Dumpster diving cracks me up, but is also on my bucket-list?!! And i also really like your list for responsible behavior with hoarding, etc.! Its very helpful!

Ouch! Ouch! I bet you ran out of cuss words, Tillie.

I shredded papers this AM and filed some away. Am doing my sheets now--miss kitty was in the bed this AM and it's so hot I didn't want to move her.

Air is much dryer today so I've got the windows open and ceiling fans on. I took mom for groceries/really took it out of her. Probably one of the last time she'll be able to go in herself.

I'm going to work on changing my sheets befor Kitty sacks out on the bed again.

Keep up the good work, everyone!

Good Morning Everyone 🙂
Still morning here, 11:37am.

Iced tea "clink" Tatoulia 🙂
WTG!!!! for just starting on those papers even if it will be hot anyways. 😀

Hi Porter 🙂
Wonderful find!
Wishing you many happy BBQs on your new old grill. ;D

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
Procrastination...
I too found myself doing a lot of that.
Instead of just taking a few minutes to actually do something, I was jotting the task down on a post-it note so I wouldn't forget it.
Forced myself to leave the post-its in the drawer and just do whatever it was needing doing. LOL 😀
Keep up the GREAT job of continually giving yourself positive encouragement. (((HUGS)))

Shortly after posting here yesterday I was walking fast and paying no attention to my surroundings.
Stubbed my toes on an unmovable object.
Five whole minutes of profuse swearing and flipping around in extreme pain.
Spent the rest of the day with my foot elevated as often as I could.
Very sore and had an icky crepitus movement when moved.
This morning as I was working it out, there was a silent "CLICK!"
Evidently it was dislocated and I got it snapped back.
This greatly reduced the constant pain.
Only hurts now if I touch the bruises.
YEA!!! 😀
Taking it easy even though I can now walk again to give it time to heal.

I dumpster dove for big grill.
if I had Xtra $ I will get a newer one .
but for now I'm fixing up a grill set out for trash.
thinking about rib steaks and corn on the cob with grilled potatoes. Also bought a roaster at goodwill. I have a three tray for making corn casserole, green bean casserole, and cheesy potatoes. If I keep a good supply of salad fixings from my fasting days I'll keep my supply fresh and offer variety. After all if I want folks to come and lose their money to me I better fill their bellies with good stuff but cheap

these days if I dumpster dive it better be worth it.
I haven't had a grill in 3years.
looking forward to it.

Anony--you are helping me so much today. I feel unstuck. I realize I'm going to be overheated whether I work on my pile of papers or not, so I put on the music and I'm shredding!

I didn't even know I was stuck. What can I do to help you?

Hello everyone! Iced tea clinks.

Well the one thing I've done this weekend is sleep. I did do mom's laundry and changed her sheets for her--she's such a dear. I'll take her to grocery store later today. Doing a bit of my own laundry. I did spend some quality time with BF yesterday, that was very nice. Taking pictures and walking around the city.

Anony I so appreciate your updates on being stuck--just clicked in for me that I too am stuck.

I will take your advice, be my own best friend, pick a place a get started. The worst thing that can happen is it will get better.

I wish i could claim the success im having came from within. However it was advice from others that seem to get me on a stable path.

spend time purging the hoard months or years ahead of an unexpected move.
Dont burn out .
take a normalcy break once in a while.
If you could pick one thing in your life that you absolutly could not fail at. What will it be?
A little planned mess is ok but alot is unacceptable.
Dont allow yourself to become isolated.
Get helpers to Expidite or dispatch for you whenever possible.
know if your issue is just capacity or true hoarding.
If you can't accomplish your goal pay some one to accomplish the goal for you and move on.

resting before work.
best wishes!

~☆~Happy Holiday weekend to all!!!~☆~
Porter, i also kept up my log book when i lived on my boat. I was so organised then! I even had a map of where everything in all my cabnets, etc., was stored, and i actually kept it updated if i moved or added anything! It was the complete opposite of here....(sigh) 🙁
Joan, the conversation you mentioned with that child is like its straight out of the beautiful, classic children's story ~ The Velveteen Rabbit~ which i cant even think about without crying! This story can be very relevant to people with hoarding problems, cuz things do become 'real' once they are loved! ~♡~
Its funny, i read what i thought was a silly article with obvious suggestions on procrastination. It said stuff like, while youre waiting for something, do another task, etc...well, i laughed and balked at it & said, 'DUH!!!' ...but you know what? I noticed i was able to think that way better all day long! I actually did those simple & obvious things easier the rest of the day! ha ha
Im also talking myself through stuckness/panic glitches outloud, and giving myself the same encouragement i would if id been hired to help someone else like me...ha ha...yes, it does sound confusing... ~☆~

P.S.
I'm hunting for leather recliners on letgo.
I'd like to set up the living room as place filled with movie theater recliners in front of 60" tv only enough roon for four
recliners. I have two.

upstairs in the art room another 60" tv sits in view of a leather couch, drums and guitars. The art desks and the partial kitchenette.

I feel fortunate . My pride and joy is the dinning room table.
it's a glass top on top of mahogany stand and 7 mahogany chairs that match. So furniture wise only want two more recliners.

I don't want more than 7 people in the house. Bit gets to busy. So after the recliners I'll try to get a cheap gazebos
With sketter netting .

I still haven't heard from my wife.
i know she must be going through hell.
she hasn't talked to my daughter either.
I really wish my daughter is with me or near me when my passes. It just seems so strange to move on without them .

Good Morning Everybody! 😀

Hi Porter 🙂
You sure have been busy! 😀
How wonderful that you filled your home with all your friends (((HUGS)))

Hi Joan 🙂
Hoping you are getting some relief from the physical pains. (((HUGS)))

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
Really hoping you get to go meet up with Cory!!!
Keep trying different places to sit at the computer until you find one that doesn't cause you aches. (((HUGS)))

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
Cats love to sit on items.
Even something as small as a gum wrapper will do.
Keep up the GREAT work of prettying up your home (((HUGS)))

Hi Subclinical 🙂
WAY TO GO!!! for helping your Mom. 😀
Keep being patient with her decisions (((HUGS)))

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
WONDERFUL! that your brother self corrected! (((HUGS)))
We can all live without bread, but in the Summer heat iced tea is a necessity. 😉

Not yet 10:30am here.
Already went out and watered the trees and lilac hedge early, early, early.
90 degrees already.
No plans for the rest of the day except perhaps an afternoon nap. 🙂

Everybody be careful out on the roads this long Holiday weekend.
Don't over do outside in the heat and remember to get plenty of fluids.
Most of all remember to have fun!!!
(((HUGS)))