Oh boy. Both of your daughters sound like wonderful, caring and dear people. Ultimately, even with illness and health problems and hoarding and everything else, we are all so fortunate. Hope and friendship, I heard someone say once, are the true miracles.

You are doing a great job on everything.

Not meant to be offensive--not suggesting you will go downhill. Forgive me, I didn't express myself well. Please, Dianne, we all know what a pesky jerky sister I can be!

Dianne, my only advice is to make your decision before you need to. I figure that any move will be unsettling for your eldest daughter, so if you can make the decision before you go downhill, it will be better for her on the long run. She will already be settled in her sister's place. With my mother I kept begging her to make the decision before she needed it, so she could have input and choices and at a time that would be convenient for me--as I am the one on whom all this falls.

One issue I had was her move date was the 15th and she had her place til the 30th. So she wasn't packed or ready or cooperative with the movers, and I still had to fight and argue and cajole for 25 more days with her. Couple that with my brother was found unconscious and in a pool of blood the night before the move, and no one knew what happened. It was a mess. Frankly, I thought the timing ended up perfect, because during the terrible weeks of brother on hospital (stroke) she was living where they were feeding her three times a day.

This is food for thought as you consider the offer and as you think about the timing of any potential next steps.

French books were well received! Thank you for remembering!

Push not lush. Sorry!

Dianne, you do have much to think about and change is hard. My mother had a beautiful condo on a beautiful building in a nice area. I live right in the city. I watched some developers take an eyesore of an empty lot and turn it into a lovely assisted living facility. I would gently tell my mom wouldn't it be great if you lived there. When she was 74 I started to lush the idea. I noticed she was no longer going to concerts or other activities downtown. I had her in there just befits she turned 75. Now she's a few city blocks from my house and my BF is a few blocks past that. The ckeanouf of her condo was terrible-- it was very pretty and for the most part okay, but getting rid of stacks of magazines and books etc was a terrible struggle.

My reasoning to get her into assisted living was to do it before she needed it. And now she will say she's glad she did. She was still driving for another year or two, and she was able to ease into it while still active.

It's tough looking to the future, when big decisions need to be made. Rest up today.

That's a good type of tired feeling, Dianne. I bet you sleep well tonight !

Cushions are great. Look really nice and mom finds them comfortable. I also bought her a tiny table to go between her two upholstered chairs. It's a piece of garbage but I wanted to get something as a placeholder til I find something nice for her. It's the right size and height, and it actually looks okay, but it's a piece of junk at heart.

I changed her sheets and took her bag for goodwill. She seems very pleased and I even got her to agree to donate a few decorative boxes (which I had purchased for her several years ago to put gifts in). She's pliable right now but I'm not going to take advantage of that. I'm just going to reinforce her progress. I picked up Kleenexes she had dropped and I know it's hard for her to bend. That sort of stuff. It was so nice and not crowded and so pleasant. I am happy for her!!

Wishing you all a goodnight. Would live to hear from LR and Mel and Bitsy and Roxie and Diane and everyone else! If I forgot to list you, inadvertent. Trust me, I count you all as my friends!

Oh Tillie I'm so sorry to hear about your health. I wish I could snap my fingers and be there to help you out! I also wish I had the right words to provide you with the type of comfort you have provided me. You are gifted and sympathetic and practical and funny and supportive and I truly appreciate you. I think of you as part of my life, and I thank you for the important role you have played in getting my eyes open to the reality of my life.

Hi :)

Been busy ever since I got up, doing "stuff".
Just now 12:30 so I am resting.
Got a LOT accomplished today.
"He" woke up and got out of bed, so far...
Tomorrow I will do a little general house cleaning and then spend the rest of the week taking care of my health along with doing the usual daily stuff, like taking care of the cats.

Really want to get outside and do some winter clean up in the garden area. Prune some things, rake a little.
Wishing I was well enough for it and getting depressed since I can't.

Oh Well.....
Hope you all are having a fun productive day. :D

I slept very late today, kitty joined me in bed which is a sure fire sleeping aid! I am reading paper and doing laundry. I took another peek in my car trunk last night and assessed what needs to be done. Looked through a box of vintage dishes that I purchased and never took home (honestly I disgust myself sometimes) and I took another bag of my brother's shreddables (from how long ago I do not know) so I can shred and dispose of them. For a long time I've been taking his mail and essentially not looking at it. In his new place we have a very good system so now I'm working on the back log. I feel good about chipping away at the car trunk--thank you Tillie for issuing the end of year challenge. It made me think about what's left to do.

Will head up to mom's in a little while to being her the new cushions and to get her stuff out for goodwill.

Wishing you all a wonderful Sunday! Would love to hear from you!

Oh Dianne, I recall that post (not as poetically, to be sure). Tillie I feel for you and your daily struggles. I saw Mom's place today and it is beautiful and the furniture is well-arranged. I bought her pretty new seat cushions for the dining chairs. I will bring them to her tomorrow. She told me she has a big stack of clothes for goodwill. She has a large pillow I bought for her bed many years ago, a big square European pillow, and I asked her if I should take it too, and she surprised me by saying yes, she doesn't put it on her bed any longer.

Interestingly, what motivated her to ask her social worker for help came from spending Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve at my brother's house and seeing how neat he keeps it.

Tillie you are right; people feel free to be difficult and mean to family members, but remember their manners when dealing with outsiders. She told me the organizers felt exhausted when they were done and mom said she had to sleep it off.

I will go over tomorrow to get the clothes and pillow, and to change out her chair cushions (if she likes the new ones and I hope she does). I don't know if they threw out stuff or not, there were only three boxes left in apt and no papers strewn everywhere. No idea where they went and it doesn't matter to me!

Good morning :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
That is GREAT news.
It is very very common that a person will work splendidly with someone outside the family to declutter and organize, and fuss and fight with a family member when they try to help them do it.
Has to do with "family history" getting in the way.
That is why it is often best for people to find a professional organizer/cleaner.
I keep wishing that my hoarder would find someone to work with him since he resents my help.


I have no idea what I will be doing today.
Saturday, he's home today.
Once I know what he will be doing I can make my plans around him.
Usually his plan is to sit at his computer, playing games and watching old TV shows from morning till late at night.
Many years ago we used to go on adventures, exploring nature, seeing the wonders all around us out there.
Oh well.......
Such is life.

Hello everyone. Big news: some if you may recall that I was being rather insistent and forcing my mother to decrease her hoard. I had some success, getting rid of over 1/3 of her books and made it so she had room to eat at her table. I then dropped it because it was too difficult. She was extremely uncooperative. WELL, her social worker (mom is 85 and in assisted living) arranged for two professional organizers to come over today and the email I got from my mom said " why don't you come see me". On the phone she was pretty cagey, because she wants me to see the place. Apparently the two organizers worked as a team with the social worker and mom. And they have offered to come every week or every two weeks to maintain. They did deep cleaning although her place isn't very dirty because she has a cleaning lady once a week. But now there are more areas to clean without stuff piled everywhere!

She sounded really happy. And I think the weekly maintenance is a good idea. At 85, we don't need to change her behaviors, we just need to make sure the place is livable. She has no $$ so acquiring isn't an issue.

She sounds happy! And thus I am happy.

I would've never realized she was a hoarder without all of you here. Very pleased!

I'll let you know how she's feeling tomorrow. In the meantime, I am dead tired and going to take a shower and make some dinner.

Much love, Tatoulia.

Good morning :)

Hi Diane :)
The foam insulation may look weird, BUT, the important question is...
is it sealing that leak?
So happy that you will be having lots of dog company this month. :D
WTG! for all the maintenance you have been doing.

YEA!!!!! Tatoulia for not clicking to buy!!!! :D
Internet window shopping is such dangerous territory.
Keep up this GREAT work of kicking the shopping addiction! :D

I have been "doing stuff" this morning.
Got lots accomplished.
Still a lot left to do.


All of you who are getting snow
PLEASE send your extras here to me.
We are experiencing a drought and need the winter snow fall to replenish our water supplies.
Thank you. :)

Hello everyone! Bitterly cold. Shredded some papers today. Bigger new/confession is this:

Two nights ago got on Etsy and started to look for something. Before I knew it, I had about fifteen small, inexpensive things in my basket. Decided to pare down, so I did, then afterward I said, well it's good to know these things exist in the world and I deleted my entire cart without buying anything.

Last night was on Lord and Taylor's site for something specific and next thing I knew I'd added two different makeup kits in my cart: one for me because I wanted it and one that I thought I could give as a gift. While there added something that was way marked down and then filled the cart with other great stuff at great prices. Unbelievable. And then I deleted the cart. So I have done some shopping, but have bought nothing. Close calls, though.

I will tell you that this is the first Christmas that I didn't load up on a bunch of stuff for me, me, me. And I continue to tell myself no. For the most part not even having urges but did come close the last two days.

Glad to hear from everyone. Great to read your posts.

So great signing on and having my computer long enough to read your posts and hear all the support we all get here.
Today we have frozen fog, with near 0 visibility, so good day to be indoors. I worked at clinic 8am-2pm without a break, so am exhausted. Friend had planned to work, then at last minute a friend came to help her move so I worked. Max said it was ok, but I am to stay home tomorrow and clean up. I did wash dishes before work so could come home to clean kitchen.
Tillie warms my heart to hear from you regularly again.
Thanks all for pet info. I will have that cowaring dog for 10 days starting the day after Max goes home. Apparently he has never stayed at a persons house before, just kennels because he growls at all people, so it was great that he liked me, and I will have him again. Max's mom loaned me her carpet shampoo machine, since she referred me to pooper dog. My plan is to clean carpet after both dogs go home, or on next warm day, if that ever comes. Will be fun to try shampooing my ex-white carpeting. Had it done professionally 5 years ago and just vacuumed since. Yesterday I spray foamed areas that leaked, and this foam expanded 3 times more than last kind I used, and it slowly expanded, so you can imagine how hilarious my fine craftsmanship looks. Looks like a white volcanic flow is coming down from roof. So happy we have each other to make life
easier. Thanks each of you for posting. Hugs

WAY TO GO!!!!! Smaug :D


At sunup today I hung a load of linens out on the clothes line to freeze dry.
Was thinking about Diane and how she does this too. Nice to have company. :)

Cats have been fed and I have given them fresh water too.
Scooped litter boxes & swept.

Been doing a lot of deep thinking, again.
Reevaluating everything and better forming of decisions about the future.
So very easy just moving from day to day as if our time here were eternal.
Putting off plans & pleasures for later.

The time is today.


carpe diem

Smaug that is great that you are working on your bedroom! Sleeping in your bed will be wonderful! Keep plugging away--it took me several weeks of hard work to clean out my house and I'm still working on it. I honestly found it easier and easier as I went on. I hope you find the same feeling if freedom that I did. There were times when I felt the terrible weight and burden of my struggle with possessions. I know you will be relieved to be back in your bed. You are doing great work. Just pace yourself and eat right and drink fluids. You need to take care of you during this process!!!

Tillie, thanks for the well wishes to all, I can use them. I hope that my bedroom soon becomes a clutter free zone at least to the point I can sleep in my bed. I'm planning on working on it tonight. I've done some today.

Today I've moved the products I've recently brought into their spot in my stockpile in the garage. I can now step up to my closet. That's one step closer to being able to use my bedroom.

I have not had a massive clean away day like you see on the show.

Hello everyone and welcome visitor! Diane I have zero experience with dogs but it sounds like you are doing a great job. I think the party will go well for you and I'm happy about Max coming over! Right now my cat is playing with a cotton ball and it is really cute. She was very skittish and afraid when I first got her, so I'd hold her up to my chest so she could feel my heart beating. It seemed to calm both of us.

Tillie, you never fail to bring a smile to my face.

Diane - have you tried Wee Pads? They're for dogs being housetrained, or for incontinent dogs.

WAY TO GO!!!! :D Tatoulia

My cats absolutely hate it when I do that too. :D LOL

YEA!!!! for Max coming over! Diane :D
And for 10 whole days too!

Sounds to me you did exactly the right things with the pooper dog.
He let you pet him and rub his ears and that shows he trusts you.
Some poor babies always stay nervous and timid, no matter what you do.

Have a GREAT time at the party.;)

I had a lot of fun yesterday playing with my sewing.
Planning to do some more today.

TTYL :)

good job Tat, better safe than sorry
New dog here yesterday, immediately pooped on carpet, I cleaned it up. Kept him off carpet rest of night. Extremely timid dog, very fearful, any suggestions? I was able to pet him and rub his ears. He has cowered all of his life, I really want to help him feel more comfortable.
Going to party this afternoon, flu shot boss just sold her company so she can retire.
This morning will wash dishes, hair, body, wrap present, chop onion and cucumbers, my salad assignment for party. You know how anxious I get in social gatherings, and I will go anyway. Good news I take this dog home and pickup Max for 10 days, while {ex)boss is in Hawaii. Have a great day

Good morning everyone!

Last night I changed all the batteries in my security system and it was very satisfying. I was nervous during it because all the beeps and chirps were driving kitty crazy. A few months ago I had to change the battery in one of the sensors and then this week one of the motion detectors started to beep and yesterday the giant back up battery lost its mojo. I decided to change all the batteries except the one I changed a few months ago. That one will be my "canary" and when it starts to chirp, I'll know to change out all of them. Felt good to have a solid plan and my scaredy cat has finally recovered from all the unpredictable signals.

Hope everyone is well and enjoying their mornings. Bitterly cold here and am glad to be home.

Good morning :)

Still morning here, 10:30am.
Woke up at 5:30, rolled over and slept another two hours.
Been drinking tea and reading interweb articles.
Still not dressed yet but my bed is now made.
Cleaned the house yesterday so today only need to do a quick "tidy up".
Scoop litter boxes, sweep the area.
Give the cats fresh water & keep the kibble bowls filled.
Thinking about dress patterns & fabric for todays amusements.
Had a Hawk hunting for it's breakfast right outside my window this morning. :D

Oh Well.....
Time to get dressed and go play.

Wishing you all the same freedoms some day soon from stuff and decluttering and long cleaning sessions that I enjoy here in my "No Clutter Zones".

Hi everyone, so nice to see all the good thoughts, comments and advice!

I laughed so hard at the difference in vision. It's SO true. I experienced it when my brother and sister in law saw my house on Halloween.

Tillie, great advice on clutter creep. I was noticing yesterday that things were starting to pile up near the front door. My boyfriend, bless his heart, hasn't said anything about it but I feel terrible like I'm undoing all of his hard work. Some stuff was stuff that needed to go to the car, so I took it out to the car. I have a box of presents I need to deliver. Some is being distributed this weekend and I'll be down to 2.

Tatoulia, I hope your brother is still doing well. Very kind of you to help with his shredding.

All rooms except our bedroom have been cleared out (on a basic level- there's still drawers and closets to sort through). I have about half a dozen boxes to sort through and we have about 3 boxes of paperwork to shred. My goal is to throw out or donate at least half of the stuff in the boxes. So I want to get at least 3 boxes of stuff out of the house.

Weather is supposed to be rough this evening (very cold and snowy) so I'm hoping I can start on it this evening.

Hope everyone is having a productive Monday!

Thanks Tillie for advice on clutter creep, so true, I like thinking someone is coming over every week. Someone is coming tomorrow, so am getting another chance to practice my clutter vision.
Tat I find it difficult to change schedule so usually bed at 11pm, up around 7am
Got heat gun out this morning and foam filler. I want to go fix area with leak, but like all things I am not experienced with, I am stalling from fear of doing it wrong. So have to just go do it.did fix a couple of things in here this morning. Took 1/2 hour to get puter to work, have to turn on and off, twist screen hold at different angles. Know I have to get a new one or get this fixed.
ok off I go to face foam.

Great advice, Tillie. Diane and Dianne, I loved Diane's remark re vision. So clever and so true.

Going to go work on some of the bags of my brother's mail from my car. Need to sort and shred.

Glad you are all here. Appreciate your wisdom. Am feeling like I could've gotten more done this weekend but there's still time left--right? I'm worried re going into work tomorrow because I've been staying in bed late the past two weeks and I've only been in the office four times in the last three weeks and each time it was a struggle to only be an hour late for work--yikes. So I need to concentrate on getting to bed early and getting up with the alarm tomorrow, not two hours after it!!

CREEPING CLUTTER

Everybody, even clean freaks have to always be on guard against the creeping clutter.
It always starts out small, innocent and harmless looking.
But it silently grows larger and larger until it overwhelms us.

Every day we must take a few minutes to look around our homes to spot any creeping clutter starting to take root.
It loves to grow on any flat surface. Tables, counters, top of TVs, etc.
It will also often take root on the floor near front and back doors.
It loves to grow around your favorite place to sit in the house until you are unable to even find the couch, chair or bed.
Creeping clutter MUST be ripped out by it's roots, every day.

Many people are stricken with
CLUTTER BLINDNESS

A great way to help overcome this affliction is to clear and clean an area to your satisfaction then snap a photograph of the area/areas.
Keep this photo on hand.
Daily look at the areas, then look at the photo.
What do you see in the area that is not present in the photo?
Do you see creeping clutter starting to take root?

Pay very close attention to all flat surfaces.
Put things away where they belong after you finish using them.
Make it a habit to once every day to run around the home collecting and disposing of any and everything that is deemed trash.
Take the trash out.

Daily look around your home and ask yourself
"Would I be mortified if someone dropped in on me right now?"
Rate the level of mortification you would feel.
Level one, "I could survive the visit."
Level ten, " I would rather the earth opened up and swallowed me."
Take the time needed to do enough clearing and cleaning to get and keep the mortification level down to level five or less.

Weekly, pretend that someone will be dropping by some day during the week.
Clear and clean enough so that you can be company ready with just an hours notice.

These are tricks/tips that I use myself.
Look around and see what tricks or tips will work for you to help conquer the
Creeping Clutter Monster.

:)

Hello everyone, great reading your posts. Could not use my computer past couple of days, poor old puter only works for short times, once in awhile. A new couple brought their dog over this morning to check me and my place out. I thought it was going to be yesterday, misunderstanding. I have been a cleaning fool past several days. Living area is once again liveable. Took more than 3 hours Tillie, more like 3 & 1/2 days. Amazing how I don't see clutter creep clearly until someone says they are coming here, then my vision improves dramatically. Kitchen looks so much better with counters clean. I think I will never let them mess up again. so how does clutter creep back time and time again. Feels so much better now.
It is finally over 32 degrees today. My reward for all the cleaning was to paint some shelves out in the
sun. Snow is finally melting, still lots left. Yesterday I shoveled snow to allow the couple and dog to get in. One load of laundry, hanging frozen on line. I have not been in car for probably 2 weeks, snowed in. Tomorrow will try to go down my steep street, still slick ice, rest of roads look fine. Today garbage truck kept sliding back down my hill, it had chains on, so knew I could not go today;.

Dianne, good for you to recognize the issue and am thrilled that you aren't beating yourself up--just remember the feeling next time the binge-shopping starts to overtake your reasoning powers! I've been doing a good job on not buying multiples. My multiple habit stemmed from wanting to make sure I had something in case someone would need it/my desire to be viewed as helpful and resourceful and generous. It is coming fairly easily for me, but remember, my massive clean out started last summer. Being "fresh" off of that is helping me.

Tillie--I'm glad to see you will be having some relief soon. I laughed on the toddler comment, then smiled, then agreed. I am sure you will find cleanung very satisfying!

I worked on my car trunk today and it has a lot of mail belonging to my brother that needs to be shredded. Took two bags home with me to work on tonight. I took my things to goodwill (unwanted Christmas gifts--lovely but NO) and got rid of the two bags of stuff I took out of my library closet--stuff that I wasn't ready to get rid of during the summer.

Good morning :)

Can't wait till Monday!
He has been home ALL the month of December and is still here....
BUT! he returns to work on Monday!!!! :D
I have let the housework go since I was always having to follow him around, cleaning up all his messes.
Monday my plan is to clean house.
Will take me about three hours to get it all done. :)
Then I plan to rest for the rest of the week.
Honestly, it is much easier having a toddler around. At least they take naps.

Ugh my post disappeared! Wishing everyone a good day! Have some definite goals in mind including getting recyclables out, going to goodwill, and working on living room.

Going to go see brother now. Hope all is well. I'm feeling strong and in a good spot to make decisions.

Working on daily cleaning and decluttering. Will be checking chat every now and then if anyone cares to join me. Also still looking to connect with fellow hoarders in my area(Syracuse, NY). If anyone out there is in the area please be sure to let me know. You can find me most days in chat in the online support group section of this site.