Tatoulia,
I hope you have some emotional support for yourself when trying to deal with someone with mental illness. Do you have NAMI (national association for the mentally ill)groups in your area? They usually have peer support meetings every week. One for mentally ill people and separate meetings for family members. They also are helpful in finding resources and they have an informative web site.
take care.

Good Morning :)

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Sorry about this new problem but I do understand your thinking about not allowing something that you might regret later. (((hugs)))

Yesterday I got all caught up with laundry and dishes.
Today after cat care, planning to do simple easy stuff.
Hem a small drape, straighten out the contents of the wall safe and do a wipe down/dusting in the car.

Things were gliding along nicely, lots of things getting done and improving, my stepson being a MAJOR help....then, he needed to get his big dog from his cheating wife...and bring it 'somewhere'....i have cats...even in a pen at the other end of my 45 acres, i couldnt live with a mishap that id have invited...no matter how sweet or well behaved, i just dont trust dogs.....

Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Oodles :)
Great to hear from you.
Hope you managed to get a little caught up even with your very busy schedule.
WAY TO GO! not giving up and cleaning the bathroom instead. :D
Going to the apple orchard! Sounds lovely and brings back memories for me of the beautiful times I did that as a child. :D

Hi Tatoulia:)
Big (((HUGS)))
So very sorry you are going through this difficult time.
We are all here for you and wish you strength.

Looks like today should be easier for me and maybe I will even catch up on a few things around here.
I got really sick and have only been doing cat care here and at the other house.
Laundry and dishes have piled up.
I am still weak and very dizzy but I will slowly do what I can to get back into maintenance.

TTYL :)

Hello everyone! Glad to hear from you all.

Living through a difficult time. Mentally I'll family member seems to be having a severe break and I'm running around stressed and scared. Bad combination.

Will write more later. I'm just missing you all. Thank you for your strong support. Thank you so much.

Hello All:

Thinking of you. Me? I am struggling lately. Daughter here is leaving items across the surfaces that I had been sorting. This is a set back. Still working over 50 hrs a week. Beats getting another job for lower pay. Gas lines being replaced yard is tore up so dogs are muddying the house.

Today I am going to focus on peripheral cleaning. Dishes, Laundry, mopping, garbage and see where I get. I tried to go into a room but, it is my daughters things and she is still sleeping. I was going to just stop then decided to go and clean a bathroom. A lot of anxiety today. Tomorrow I am going to the apple orchard

Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Greta :)
Wonderful to hear from you. :)
Yes, sometimes life gets rather busy. Thanks for the update. :D

Been really busy here for me.
Started taking care of the neighbor's house again yesterday and this time I am baby sitting their three cats in their own home.
So between what I am doing at my own house, now I need to spend some time at the other house too.
This will be until the beginning of November.
When done right, pet sitting takes up a lot of time so please forgive me when I don't post regularly. :)

TTYL :D

Hi all miss reading and writing here but life gets in the way of living lol things are going ok mom is still trying to hoard some my dad is doing ok other than that nothing new just busy running for my family.hope everyone here is is doing good I will try to write more soon.
Have a good day!

LAST FULL DAY OF SUMMER!
Don't let it go to waste! :D

Hi Tatoulia :)
Hope you have another warm coat all ready to keep you warm this winter. :)

Been up before the sun today.
This is the last predicted warm day for here. Temps will drop down 20 degrees after today.
Doing some heavier laundry that takes longer to dry on the line.
Soon I will be going out to water the trees & bushes.
I'm soaking the shower head in vinegar right now to get the hard water deposits out and hope that will get it to spray correctly.
Also planning to scrub out the litter boxes.
Then I need to clean up the kitchen.

CARPE DIEM :)

Thank you, Tillie. You are a sweetpea. What I most appreciate about goodwill is the prices are truly affordable, rarely do I see an item of clothing for more than five dollars. That's important to me--the items are affordable for the people who shop there.

In the spring, after a very snowy winter here in the East, I decide I never wanted to see my down jacket again. So I packed it up, with its two sets of matching gloves and it's coordinating scarf, and took it right over. Just never wanted to ever see it again!

Hi Everybody! :)

Hi MW :)
Getting enough rest when we need it is as important as anything else we ever do.

Hi Tatoulia :)
Thank You for all your extremely generous donations.
Being rather poor, for decades ALL of my clothes, bedding, drapes, craft supplies and other needed items come from thrift shops.
Whenever I find something lovely, that I need/have an immediate use for, I always think about the person who donated it and thank them in my heart.
Other stores in the area also donate their overstock and last seasons clothing and household items.
Thanks to all the wonderful donations over the years, me and my house are very attractively outfitted.
It amazes me that there are so many new, tags still on, items I have been fortunate to find.
Plus it feels good that the money I spend on them all goes to the charity thrift shop and then back into the community to help others. :D

Got up early this morning and started doing "stuff".
Did some laundry
did some yard work
did some laptop updating and maintenance
did some food prep
washed my hair, ate some food.
3:00pm here now and I am all done for today. :)

Hello everyone! MW, getting rest is sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself!

At the beginning of the summer, when I was putting out my white bedspread and adding a pink floral comforter folded at the foot of my bed, I said to myself, this is the last season I use my pink comforter. When I was changing things out yesterday, I washed the comforter and today I took it to good will.

Last year when I cleaned out storage bin I got rid of many comforters and pillow and such. I like to change it up a bit, but I also was just plain hoarding. So I went to goodwill and got rid of it today. I included the pillow shams, so it is all done.

Also took a bag of stuff, previously tough to get rid of. I have to act fast when I make up my mind. I don't have a lot of wiggle room.

I enjoyed the pink comforter for a couple of years. Now someone else can enjoy. And I don't even care if it's a street person. I just hope it goes on to serve another cold body.

I did not make good use of today but I did get some rest.

So true Tatoulia (((HUGS))) :D
WAY TO GO!!!
Fantastic all you have done mentally with letting things go and especially for your new mindset/perspective about the importance/specialness of these items.
Sounds like you are keeping only those things you need, treasure or that "spark joy".
And letting go of all the things that were holding you back from enjoying your home and life. :)

Wow! Envious and happy to hear that MW and LR are friends in real life! MW I see you have a day all to yourself--could I stop by?

Hello everyone! Started another bag to goodwill. As the decisions get tougher, they get easier. I'm now in the right frame of mind to let things go, so decisions I agonized over before now just make sense. I have also learned that making the "wrong decision" (getting rid of something I wish I had kept) is a part of life. We all regret getting rid of something. So be it!

Tillie, thank you for the commiseration. It is true, we get manipulated and abused and then we find bursts of fortitude to take care of ourselves. I'm glad you have been able to reclaim some of your life. I completely understand how it builds and builds and you wake up one day to say, wait a minute, how come I'm living according to someone else's crazy, arbitrary rules?

Good Morning Everybody :)

So, LR2014 and MW have been visiting in real life?
FANTASTIC! WAY TO GO!!! :D
Bet that was a whole lot of fun, now I'm jealous. ;)
It's nice that you two live close enough to visit.

It felt so good to have my living area picked up and clean yesterday. Today I once again have the rare opportunity to be alone at my house and so I plan to work on the bathroom, sunroom and to try to paint for a while.

(From LR): Too bad LR2014 didn't read MW's post before contacting her today to let her know she was free to go over for a visit! So much for MW's "rare opportunity to be alone at home." LOL

(from MW): I had the even rarer opportunity to visit with LR2014 as this was her first time to visit my house.

(From LR): LR is enjoying MW's hospitality! Thanks, MW! (Better luck to you tomorrow with getting a day home alone!)

Hi to all!

Good Morning :)

Hi MW :)
WTG! Good luck with your plans for today!
Even if you don't get everything on your list done, celebrate all the things that you do accomplish! :D

Hi Tatoulia :)
(((HUGS)))
I could have written what you wrote.
Being verbally/psychologically abused day after day, year after year, just sucks the will to live out of us.
There is a lot of mean stuff he does to me that I don't write about, like the time he ran my cat down in the driveway and left her there to suffer to death.
But the main thing is...
WE must do everything we possibly can to make our lives what we need and want for ourselves.
He destroyed my car and only one (his) of all these vehicles run.
Being trapped out here in the country with no car for decades = no way to support myself with employment.
He has alienated almost everybody so I am all alone.
He knows that I would leave if I could but he has added me to his hoard of things.
But since this last hospitalization and recovery episode, I have taken his new car from him, made him replace the battery and other parts to the truck he disabled (so I couldn't use it) for him to use.
I am standing fast and will not back down. I have reconnected with my friends and now have somewhat of a social life and somewhat of a support system.
The nearby town is small but I have put the word out that I am looking for employment.
I have gone to the dentist and got my teeth fixed even though he resents the money I spent on myself because that means less money for him to spend on adding to the hoard.
The more I do to escape the nastier he gets but I will not let that deter me.

Tatoulia, you and the others here give me the strength and courage I need and have helped me more than you will ever know. (((HUGS)))

I have not been on in a while and partly because I haven't been doing much to talk about. Today I have a rare chance of being alone at home for a good part of the day. I have big plans. I'm going to try to really focus on my house and try to (for today) push aside a lot of things that I am thinking/worring about. So here is the plan.

1. set out a piece of paper to jot down things that come to mind that need to be taken care of so I can leave the on the paper while I work

2. vaccuum main areas

3. spend at least one hour in our main living area (which is a combo living/dining/kitchen

4. spend at least one hour in the sunroom/entry

5. clean bathroom (not sure of time involved)

6. make bed and start on closet

I know I can spend days doing nothing and here is to see if I can spend a day doing something.

Hi Tillie,

I too have been struggling a bit lately. It takes a lot of energy to look on the bright side, day after day, when living with or taking care of someone with an illness. I am being berated and abused by someone with mental illness. This has been going on for decades, but the last few weeks it has become unbearable. And the rest of my life seems hopeless and worthless. I'm under so much stress then I'm mad when my house still isn't where I want it to be. And I'm mad for abusing my body by eating too much. And then I just want to sleep when I get home. But I have terrible sleep and I toss and turn. Nothing gets accomplished and I feel like it's not worth it.


I so appreciate your taking stock of things and getting ready for winter and for reminding me that life goes on, and it's my life, so I should forge ahead. I invariably feel better once I take action.

Not sure if this makes sense. I'm glad to have you by my side. And I hope when you are feeling depressed, you'll know I'm standing next to you.

Much love

Good Morning :)
Still morning here, not even 10:00am yet.
Been doing some online shopping this morning.
Getting in some crafting supplies to get me through the winter months when I will be trapped inside all day & night.
Spent 55.00 today and with what I already have on hand here I have enough now to keep my hands busy. :)
Winter type weather here is from October to at the earliest March.
Six months to bead, sew, watch movies and read without interruptions like gardening/yard work.
Will still get outside and make bonfires once we get some rain/snow and it's safe again to not cause more wildfires.
Have been getting my pantry slowly stocked with winter food essentials.
Have the materials on hand to winterize the doors, windows and outside faucets.
Took stock of my winter clothes and shoes and they are all in good shape.
Unless something unforeseen comes up I do believe I am now ready to face another winter here in the shadow of the Sierra Nevadas.
This inventory taking has helped lift my mood. :)
Sometimes we just have to stop and take a serious look at what we have and not just keep focusing on what we don't have.

Good Morning Everyone :)

Hi Roxie "clink!"
Don't fret about more bills, go get your blood pressure checked out. (((HUGS)))
Sorry to read you are still having to fight to get your checks, this is ridiculous.
Yes, they do seem to start adding more to the bills time after time, hope you can get this settled without too much trouble.

Hi Critical Mass :)
Great to "see" you. Write when you can. :)

Hi Jess :)
Good luck with your plans!
Happy you are scaling back and starting to take better care of yourself. :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
Hope you got a great nights' sleep. ;)

Today I need to water the lilac hedge.
Then I need to work on me. Last few days I've been so freakin depressed and I hate being down in this dark lonely place of desperation and hopelessness. This bottomless chasm of despair.
I know why I am here and what would help. Unfortunately, this all has to do with living surrounded by clutter, squalor, vermin and pestilence in a house that desperately needs some major repairs and a hoarder who is blind to it all.
OK, pity party over, thanks for listening. :)

The sun is just now coming up on a fresh new day, a fresh new start for us all. :)

Hello Tillie, CM, Roxie & Jess. Good to hear from you all.

Going to bed now. Just wanted to check in. Roxie, please continue to take good care of yourself. Having a nice glass of water right now--clink.

Tillie, I love your descriptions of all the animals! Jess, laundry--great to wash, difficult to fold. CM so nice to hear from you!!

Hi everybody! I've got to do some catch up reading. I've been working like crazy. That's been going pretty well actually I just started to get a little carried away. My husband sat me down the other night and told me I was starting to look miserable and he asked me why I felt the need to work so much overtime. Took a pause, did some reflection. Scaling back now :)

I need to refocus on keeping up with things around the house. For this evening I will be watching some Netflix on my computer as I deal with folding and putting away all of my clean clothes. There is a LOT gathering because I keep washing and then not following through.

By the weekend I also want to clean the bathrooms.

Good luck with you tasks, everyone. Hope you're all well!

Hi,

Must just say hi - went to my local monthly clutter support group and that reminded me I needed to say Hello here. Apologize for being away from the boards - I had been running software to clean my computer and it deleted my browser history so I'm just now remembering boards and tabs I had open. Plus I've been busy with a lot of projects and cat sitting. So anyway, a good day to all and I'll be back with a less boring post one of these days, I promise!

Good Morning Everyone :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
(((hugs))) it is a pleasure to know you and travel through this journey along side you.

I am all out of fruits & veggies so need to go get some today.
Dishes and laundry are all caught up. YEA! :)
Lots of bunnies here. Scurrying and jumping around.
They are fun to watch.
At night the coyotes have been coming in very close.
Every now and then they will yap and howl through the night, making the cats (who are inside sleeping in my bed) nervous.
Have a band tailed hawk hunting here in the daytime too.
Having so many quail, dove, bunnies, snakes and lizards in my yard attracts the predators, who need to eat too.
The circle of life.
OK, time to get to the grocery store. :D

TTYL

Thank you, dear Tillie. Thank you so much for your unwavering support. Greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Good Morning everybody :)

September 15th. already.
Where does the time go?
Doing some laundry today.
Have my list of 10 tasks that I want to accomplish by the end of this month right here.
I allow myself to pick and choose which ones, if any, to do each day.
This way the only pressure on me to do them is the goal of having them all completed by the end of the month.
It's all Seasonal type stuff dealing with the change from Summer to Autumn.

Keep up all the FANTASTIC progress you all have been making! :D

I'm on a roll! Working in the shelves in my dining room closet. I can't believe how much I've cleared out. I'm really happy right now.

One thing that has worked for me is that I no longer keep stuff that maybe so-and-so would like. I just donate it. If it's a family item I run by my sister and if she says no, then I donate. My ability to let go of things has been to re-wire my thinking. I no longer think in terms of gifts for someone, I don't buy multiples, I don't keep things I used to love (I've decided I've given the object enough love and time to move on--if I still love it I keep it, I don't keep past loves), and I don't decide to keep things that some other person could use or might like. That has made a huge difference for me. And it's in full force tonight.

So thrilled. Thanks for all of your support and encouragement. This is a group effort, to be sure,

Hello everyone,

I didn't pay close enoug attn and my post here from earlier today didn't show up. I Hodp you are feeling okay Tillie--it sounded like the wedding was a lot of fun! Good catching up on all of the posts. You are doing great, Anony! Keep it up!

I got rid of two large bags of stuff today--took a third pass at my hardcover books and in less than 10 minutes got a big bag together. Already went to goodwill with it. Have also hung some beautiful artwork I just inherited. Have gone through costume jewelry and donated. I am forging ahead. Making room.

Bought one thing this weekend--but it's a g fit for my BF. I like to buy the stuff when I see it so that Christmas doesn't take it out of my hide,

Thanks for the reminder that it is the new year! Seems early this year -- Life starts anew when it gets crisp in the fall.

Good Morning Everybody :)

It is overcast and very lightly sprinkling this morning.
My covey of Quail must have become very scattered fleeing the hunters.
Last night they all managed to gather all back together and there are still about 80 of them.
Was good to see that the majority survived the hunt. :D
Even thought today I am extremely depressed due to situations yesterday, my plan is to clean the house this morning.
Sweep floors & porches
clean the bathroom
generally wipe off surfaces & stuff
vacuum the carpet
Maybe being depressed in a clean house will help lift my mood better than moping in a dirty house.
Today is Rosh Hashanah, so Happy New Year! :D

The really upsetting pictures were of animals not cared for...but the really extreme hoards definitely pushed buttons for me, too!

WAY TO GO! tossing that thing! :D

So, what pictures did you see?
The terribly filthy clutter ones or the crime scene clean up ones?

....I was gonna pop in to just say I'd thrown out this stupid thing hanging in the kitchen and how nice it looks now, but I accident my clicked into the website and saw some really disturbing pictures......?!!?

Thank you, Tillie!! :D
His allergies from all the cats and dust are really bothering him! I feel so bad, but he insists he goes thru this a lot. He's gonna start wearing my good mask for chemicals. It is kind of a reality jolt for me to have him wearing that thing in here cuz it's so filthy!

Hi Anonymoniker :)

That is the best kind of help!
Someone there with you who you trust, to help you see things through fresh eyes.
Wish everyone had that kind of help.
Have a WONDERFUL time visiting your friend, relax and renew and come home to your clean house with a fresh new perspective.
Great big (((HUGS))) to the Stepson for all he has been doing. :)

Correction again: just him standing there will very likely help me get rid of more stuff. Then later he can straight clean! (That was an important part, so I wanted to get it typed right!)

Correction: this auto-correct is frustrating. He is gonna help me to thru some areas of my house and get rid of some stuff.

Hi all! I hope everyone is getting lots done!
Tillie, the wedding sounds like it was wonderful! What a nice celebration for you and everyone!
I am really breaking thru some barriers lately, with my stepson here! I think seeing things thru his eyes,especially seeing how well he's handling letting go of old things that no longer work, and embracing new, positive things, has really helped me to do the same! He is practicing for his road trip by setting up his camp in my woods and it's beautiful! He made this gorgeous winding path to his tent and it shows me how possible nice change is! He's gonna help me to thus some areas of my house and just him standing there will likely help me let good more junk! Then next weekend I'm taking a trip to visit my good friend in CA while he cares for my cats and does just straight cleaning! I really think it'll be a good shift for me, and I love how much this is all helping my stepson, too!
I'm also knowing that I'll come back with a fresh perspective and very likely be more ready to change old attachments at my place, and break thru some stuck-ness!
I hope you all get goals met and breakthroughs in some stuck-ness, as well!!! :D

The wedding was so much fun!!! :D
Got to see a lot of people I haven't seen in a very long time and got to see other people that I have seen more recently but always enjoy seeing.
The food was GREAT and there was so much that that I was forced to bring home a bunch.
Right now I am on a sugar high from eating cake, drinking Coke and eating M&Ms.
It was outdoors under canopies, with a DJ.
I think what I liked the best of all was hugging and being hugged by so many people I love. :D
(((HUGS)))

Good Morning Everyone :)

Hi Anonymoniker :)
YEA!! WAY TO GO!!! Stepson! :D
Hope his next new camping/hiking/road trip adventure is a GREAT one!
The best revenge really is living well. ;p

Going to putter around here this morning then get ready and go to the wedding this afternoon.
I post appointments and dates on the refrigerator so they are right there visible reminders.
Now that I have taken down the wedding invitation there are no more important dates to remember till November.
Nice! :D

TTYL :)

Hey there, recovering clutterers!
Yesterday I can home to a much cleaner house! My stepson cleared and cleaned the deck to paint, but it rained, so he did cleaning inside instead! It's better! It seems more hopeful for sure! His allergies did flare up, so I feel like he shouldn't be doing it, but I'm paying him for the help so he can go on a new adventure road trip soon! He's collecting camping equipment and is excited about it!
Roxie-Yes, he's doing great with moving towards new positive experiences, instead of revenge or bitterness. Congratulations on getting your financial papers squared away! YIPEE!
Tillie- I love your Gramma story! It's funny how thats what I'm doing, too! I looked up the psychology of turquoise and it was just what I need now!
The new shelf sounds nice! I can certainly understand how wanting something dumpster dived would seem like justification for it all, but at least it can be beneficial?!
Tatoulia- Its awesome that you are keeping your non-shopping commitment! You could shift like me and turn sour from it naturally after getting away from it? I hope so!
Happy De-hoarding to all!!!

Good Morning :)

Hi Roxie :)
"clink!"
WAY TO GO! for jumping through all those hoops and getting over the hurdles that the bank has thrown in front of you. They really have set up way too much red tape in the way of issuing you your checks.
True, all companies really should have ways we can pay them online in this computer age.

Hi Karl :)
We have that same feature through our credit union.

Since the onset of Quail hunting season my covey has been nervous and tend to try sneaking around.
Until last evening they were good at avoiding the hunters.
They were scattered all around and over night managed to group back up but their numbers have been greatly reduced.
There is a new batch of baby cottontail bunnies that come out of hiding in the evenings and scurry about. :)
The air is thick with wildfire smoke making me and the cats miserable.
The "Burning Man" festival that is held nearby is always a fun time to go into town and see the participants as they travel through the area.
They come from all over the world and are very interesting people to talk to. :)
Tomorrow there is a wedding I need to attend. Will be nice seeing everybody there. :)
The "Cantaloupe Festival" what we call our county fair, will be happening soon.
Today my plan is to putter round doing "this and that".

So, what's happening in your neck of the woods?

Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Anonymoniker :)
WAY TO GO!!!
Fantastic that you will have a beautifully freshly painted front deck! :D
You remind me of a summer I spent with my Granma out at her little cottage on the shore of a small lake.
She had a gallon of turquoise enamel paint and had me paint almost everything in the yard with it. She even had me paint the pink flamingo in the flower bed turquoise. Looked so nice, but Granpa was not impressed. :D

Hi Tatoulia :)
CONGRATULATIONS!
on the FANTASTIC strength you are showing in this no purchasing challenge! (((hugs)))

Thanks All :)
Been up since 6:30 and got a lot accomplished already today, and it's not even 10:00 yet. :)

There is only one thing that I hate even more than I hate all his dumpster diving and that's when he drags home something nice that I really have a use for.
Doesn't happen very often.
Once he had a wooden library book shelf that I needed for the pantry.
Have enjoyed using it for many years in there.
Yesterday he brought home an even nicer library book shelf.
I have been needing/wanting another one for my room to consolidate my stuff all together into one location in there.
He had no immediate use for it or space in the garage and had just dumped it in the yard where it would have been rained/snowed/peed on.
It is smaller than the shelf in the pantry which makes it perfect.
I asked him if I could have it and he said "sure".
So now it is all washed, polished and in my room where it neatly and tidily contains my stuff.
Bottom shelf has my vinyl LP records and some reference books.
Next shelf up has my 4 small baskets containing my shampoo and other toiletries.
Third self up from bottom has my DVDs.
Top shelf has my CDs and some pretty rocks.
The top has a tiny cabinet that holds my essential oils and a bowl containing some pretty rocks.
Now my room looks so much nicer. :D

Only 12 more days till Summer is officially over and Autumn begins. ENJOY! :)

Congratulations Tatoulia!!! Learning to control your shopping is a big challenge!!! It's great you're making headway on that important step!!! :D