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Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : What Are You Doing Today?
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What Are You Doing Today?

Stuck In The Middle
Posted: 17 April 2022 - 09:24 AM
Posted: 17 March 2017 - 07:05 PM
Looks like it has straightened it's self out.
Posted: 17 March 2017 - 02:47 PM
What has happened to our message board?
Why have we gone back to Halloween 2015?
Posted: 17 February 2016 - 08:30 AM
Well, if people are experiencing glitches maybe we should all just move to a new thread and see if it helps. :)

"See" you all there!
Posted: 17 February 2016 - 08:23 AM
Couldn't find phase 2.
First batch has 4,000 posts, phase 3 only 700 +, but possible going to phase 4 would decrease the delay for posts to appear-not sure.
Posted: 16 February 2016 - 10:10 PM
Re: room. 10 plastic grocery sacks of books and 2 computer carcasses (I kept a number of the individual parts for "just in case") to recycle. And I think I am having another of those "thrift store clothes don't fit" kind of experiences. I browsed the book area at the recycle center :) and found a copy of where in tne world is carmen sandiego which I brought home. My computer is old but the game is older and I wasn't sure the game would run on the computer. As I was looking through the game manual, it says the video has to be set at 256 colors (not more) so I think the experiment is doomed. Apparently I will have to take the game back to the recycle center. I have been making an effort not to fill back the empty space Mrs Dave has made in the living room but she's pretty mad about the table - she would be even madder if she knew I was saying what I said about the table and taxes. The fancy footwork this morning weakened the floor but I could not take the (broken) pickup to Lowe's for 2x4's for repair because of the hoarded mulch in the back.
Posted: 16 February 2016 - 09:52 PM
Have not participated in chat for several years. Formal times used to be Sun and Tue evenings, sometimes people would hook up informally at other times. If you want to make comments in this thread or start your own thread in this section as Wife (with similar problem) has done, people will respond to what you have to say. The posts I have seen here and my personal experience (as the hoarding husband) suggest that causing behavior change in family members prone to excessive gathering is a difficult process which is quite often unsuccessful. You can read Wife's thread in this section as a current example of this kind of situation.
Posted: 16 February 2016 - 09:42 PM
Hi Dave :)
Guess you need to make some room somewhere.
At least you have the tax software.
You are almost ready!:D
Posted: 16 February 2016 - 09:37 PM
Hi Dave :)
Nice to think of you and Roxie rockin out together. ;D
My playlist today was Bob Marley's "Legend".

Hello AJ :)
First thing I always advise is to get a copy of
"Digging Out" and read it.
It is a book for people who live with or otherwise have a person who hoards in their life.
There is a chapter in it about "Harm Reduction".
That is what I am working on.
We are also allowed to make "No Clutter Zones".
Areas of the home that we declutter/clean and defend against creeping clutter.

A really good book for your husband to read is
"Buried In Treasures".
If he will, it could help him learn how to live with less.

Posted: 16 February 2016 - 09:36 PM
I got the tax software I have been using for several years. The dining room table has too much stuff on it, I have no working room.
Posted: 16 February 2016 - 08:31 PM
no one seems to be around in evening when i want to chat before hubby comes home. wish i could help others, want to chat with Tillie, and miss Hermione. my husband has too many items of things , and want to get him to pare down.
Posted: 16 February 2016 - 12:03 PM
I just took a nat king cole cd out of the computer. I suspect I did not enjoy it as much as Roxie.
Big Band off the corner of a box pile.
Benny Goodman is now preparing to:
Jump (One O Clock)
Bounce (Jersey)
Stomp (At the Savoy and King Porter)
Meet (Down South Camp Meeting)
Jump (Jumping at the Woodside)
& Dance (Let's)
The finale is That's A Plenty.
:) :)
Posted: 16 February 2016 - 11:21 AM
Good Morning :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
Sugar is very hard to overcome.
After a while the cravings for it will lessen.
Good luck and keep up the great job. :D

Hi Roxie :)
Today I am doing a bit of laundry and tidying up.
Tomorrow I have a D.D.S. appt.
Thursday and Friday I plan to start pulling more stuff out of the carport into the driveway.
Last evening I said that at the rate he is going this will take the rest of the year.
He said yeah.
I informed him that I am prepared to continue all year if that's what it takes. :D
Anyways, you should see all the mice scampering around in the stuff still in the driveway!
That stuff is their homes and they are not prepared to move out.
The mice are driving the cats crazy because they can scurry under and through and the cats can't.
But it is keeping the cats amused for hours every day. :D

I knew this would be a very hard clean out.
I have given him years to handle it on his own and things just got a lot worse year after year.
This year will be better. :)
Posted: 16 February 2016 - 10:52 AM
Tat, taxes? Bite your tongue. I have several years worth of back tax papers yet to do. Half my paperwork is still in Arkansas. :( Just sort a few papers for today. Little steps.

Tillie, how are you today? Sorry that Mr. T is doing his dance. :(

Diane, Karl, Dave, and others ((((hugs))).

Coffee clinks.
Posted: 15 February 2016 - 06:38 PM
Hello everyone,

Coming to the end of a good long weekend. Going to climb into bed and read. A number of years ago I bought a kindle in order to stop buying books. It's been such a positive change in my life.

I'm tired by waiting for one load of laundry so I can put it in the dryer and call it a night. Warmer today thankfully.

The diet continues to go well--my downfall is sweets, Roxie--I love them. I've found that peppermint tea will satisfy my sweet tooth. That and some fruit. Have eaten a lot of raspberries thus weekend. Just so yummy. We had a beautiful meal to celebrate Valentine's Day, but I managed to keep everything within diet plan and still showed a loss this AM. I need to stick with it and appreciate your tips and support!

Now I need a push yo do my taxes. I swore I would do them early this year. Anyone want to make it a challenge?
Posted: 15 February 2016 - 04:16 PM
Well :(
he looked at a few items about 9am then got into the truck and took off to town.
Said he needed to go buy some snacks.
It is now 2:15 and he's still not back.
Posted: 15 February 2016 - 10:32 AM
Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Roxie :)
About things being plentiful...
Here, the thrift shops get so many clothes/shoes (nice stuff too, lots new, never been worn) that they end up having to just give stuff away to make room for all the incoming clothes.
Every week they have sales where you fill a brown paper bag full for 3 to 5 dollars a bag.
ALL my clothes and shoes are from thrift shops and I spend less than 20.00 a year on my entire wardrobe.
Example, last year I desperately needed new bras.
Right then the thrift shop had hundreds, all sizes, new donated from a regular store.
I bought 4 white, 4 beige, 4 black.
Spent 5.00 for what would have cost at least 200.00 elsewhere. :D
Clothing is so plentiful it boggles my mind.
About taking pictures, he has lots of cameras but I don't and he refuses to allow me to photograph anything concerning his stuff.

Hi Diane :)
Sorry, I was aiming at your heart not your gut. ;)
WAY TO GO! for dish washing and looking those pants square in the eye.
OK, you are allowed to keep one small bag of "maybes" with the tops.
Pick out a few items that you really are not sure you want to part with, put them into this modest sized bag.
Put the bag somewhere out of the way, out of sight.
In 3 months revisit this bag then make a final decision to keep or toss.

Hi Dave :)
GREAT self talk for sorting out clothes.
Your thinking holds true for everybody not just clothes horses. :)

Well, the saga continues.
Today is presidents day and all state employees have it off.
He is in his bedroom playing on his computer.
Yesterday a neighbor friend dropped by.
This friend also has a relative who hoards, even more so they tell me.
I think/hope the conversation about letting go of what we don't need got through a little.
He uncovered a box of about a hundred of those tiny film canisters and was putting them into a container to save them.
I asked what he planned to store in them, he said very tiny electrical screws/nuts/bolts that he scavenged off all the small electrical items he was tossing.
I suggested maybe 20 would be enough for that, unsure, he decided he needed to keep all of them since he doesn't get any more since he stopped using film.
He hoards a lot of containers, of all kinds because he still thinks he just needs to organize everything and then it will take up less space.
Problem is that he forgets what's where and has to dump out everything looking for something he wants.
Then he doesn't bother putting stuff back into their containers and it all gets lost/damaged/jumbled up again.
Funny thing is that he labels every box & container "STUFF".
Because it is just a bunch of miscellaneous "STUFF" not categorized by "like with like".


Posted: 15 February 2016 - 02:04 AM
So a response to the reconsideration request could be "ONE time" and "ONE at a time". If you take on the whole herd of zebras all at once, you are smashed toast. Drape one top over the back of the chair and say something like " I really don't have any more room to respectfully store tops in a vertical manner, and besides I thought you wanted to move out. Why am I supposed to reconsider that request now?" You should get some " gulp, forget I asked right off." If your clothing situation is as I suspect, you can only take back two or three, UNLESS you do one for one swaps with something else in the closet. So the reason to stay would have to be really, really good. If you reconsider any items one time, that's an opportunity to fix a mistake or communication error. You know from your prior experience that a first reconsideration is iffy and no more than one should be allowed. Available space and original reason for discard should be kept FIRMLY in mind during the process.
Posted: 15 February 2016 - 01:33 AM
Reconsideration request.
Reflection and action.
Remember the pair of pretty socks that you put on the donation pile and then took off and put back on the pule five more times. Each time you took them off the pile because they were pretty, they were still always too tight and uncomfortable when you put them on. You finally let them go.
Remember the top you put on the donation pile and then took off and put back on five times. It had a square cut bottom so you could wear it out over jeans or skirt. It had a pocket so you could carry a pencil and lumberyard list. ( guy w/o purse speaking here :).) You weren' too concerned about it so you could wear it when there was s dirt or grease risk. (So far it was still nice.) But every time you put it back in your closet you found you still didn:'t like the pattern as well as a similar item. And every time you wore it the pocket never moved. It was positioned too high and made the shirt look dorky. You finally let it go.
Remember the pair of yoga pants that you put on the pile and then took off and put back on three times. They fit just right at the waist and they were RARE. They had POCKETS! But they never got any longer. Evey time you wore them, they had a flared leg bottom that ended an inch and a half above your shoes. You finally let them go.
Posted: 14 February 2016 - 08:58 PM
Great reading all of your posts. Tillie your comments about taking good care of ourselves, since we often feel all alone, and think everyone else has lots of loving friends, really kicked me in the gut, so true. I did dishes this morning and very little else on my to do list. I took rocks out of tumbler and cleaned them, spent way too much time fiddling with rocks.
I appreciated Daves understanding of jeans and yoga pants, so I was all motivated to take his advice, after I went outside for a couple hours, well I just came in and all pants are just looking at me, daring me to step up and make some decisions.
I put my favorite tops in the closet, would like to be able to say, they will be enough, but the pile of less favorites are asking me to reconsider them.
Posted: 14 February 2016 - 03:12 PM
Karl, good job on fixing the shirt and (you did, right?) tossing the old worn-out one!

Tat, dieting is tough. Try just to eliminate fried foods, alcohol or other empty calories (like soda), and try to walk more. Little by little.

Tillie, I also worry when you make a stance with Mr. T. But it had some impact. Do you have a camera to take pictures of the hoard? He may just not see it, really. We can truly blind ourselves.

Diane, you are doing well. I understand the lure of online shopping as I've had several binges, myself. Clothes I generally just get from Goodwill now, which thriftily replaces what's needed and now gone (donated or discarded). I live in jeans and tees or long sleeve tees or layers, so that's what I focus on. I love shoes, but I can only wear one pair at a time. It is good to have "paint clothes" for messy projects so you don't stain or damage good wearable clothes.

Dave, you can be so eloquent when explaining things. Are you feeling better now regarding the other threads? Do you know what started you on the road to hoarding? You can expect distress and even physical symptoms when we address hoarding and cleanup. But we do survive it and come out the other side. There are lessons to be learned. I think one lesson for me has been that the world is plentiful and I can rely upon myself and others to provide in the future if I desperately need something (hence, no need to have "what if" clothes, for instance).
Posted: 14 February 2016 - 02:40 PM
I Tatoulia :)
Thank you.
Your wardrobe sounds lovely :D
Keep that Kitty warm!
Bundle the both of you up in the blankets together. ;)
This way, she can warm you up too.

Hi Karl :)
fixing your party shirt!
Have a GREAT time. :D

Well, he came home about 11am.
He's working very slowly and his keep pile is really getting big.
He does seem resigned to this though.
Posted: 14 February 2016 - 01:21 PM
Temperature here has been in the 70s; predicted low 80s for the weekend.

Yes, last night I stripped the buttons from a flannel overshirt that's long past wearable condition, and used two of them on the shirt I mentioned; I'll wear that today.
Posted: 14 February 2016 - 01:04 PM
Tillie and Karl, I hope you are both feeling better.

Tillie, I hope things continue to progress at your house! Karl, the Asian feast sounds terrific Diane, wow! You are terrific! Clothes have never been my problem. My mother instilled in us the idea of a few good pieces and so I generally dress very classically with some basic pieces that I personalize with jewelry and scarves. I also like to jazz up my outfits with my shoes. I rarely wear black anymore, preferring navy and greys for my neutrals. I like to jazz those up with flattering colors. Right now I'm terribly heavy and very unhappy. I seriously started dieting about a week ago and I've tuna,it found a diet I find easy and doable and I have faith in myself.

Wishing you all a wonderful day. It is record-breaking cold in the northeast so I will likely stay put today, having gone out with the BF last night for a lovely meal. Today trying to keep my drafty house warm and keeping the kitty all bundled up in her blankets.
Posted: 14 February 2016 - 10:32 AM
Hello Everybody :)

Hi Karl :)
WAY TO GO! for your progress! :D
Happy you have the party to attend.
Did you fix the missing buttons on your shirt?

My wish for everyone to do something nice for themselves is because I have noticed that many people tend to treat themselves as if they just don't matter.
These "hallmark" holidays also tend to emphasize to us that we are basically alone, while it looks like everybody else has millions of thoughtful loving friends and family in their lives.
So, being nice to ourselves, because we ALL really do matter, will help lift our moods, brighten our days and give us a little boost to "keep on keeping on". :)

Well, okay...
He left before 7am.
Before he left I said "I had hoped you would have taken this a little more seriously".
He said that he is.
I reminded him that we still have all the rest of the carport to completely clear out.
He said that first he has to finish clearing out all the stuff in the driveway.
Then he left to go sit around with his old and retired friends from work and all boast about how wonderful they are and he will tell them what an unreasonable ***** I am and get sympathy.
He has never invited any of them here, he is too ashamed to let them see this mess.
Their houses aren't like this.

I was up half the night being sick.
I did too much dragging out all that stuff.
Plus all the worrying about how this was going to go.
Still feeling queasy and weak.
Had planned to do a little gardening today but probably won't.

Till later...

Posted: 14 February 2016 - 04:06 AM
I've made bits of progress here and there, but nothing very dramatic. I'll be with some friends for a Sunday banquet in celebration of Asian New Year, and might also use a birthday coupon that hasn't expired yet, but I'm not actually celebrating Valentine's Day.

Various advertisements and broadcasts related to that day have gotten me somewhat depressed, and it made me wonder what calendar-related patterns are known for suicide. (No, I'm not a serious risk myself at the moment.) Some online searching didn't turn up any hits for specific dates (except myths), but it seems that Spring/Summer is suicide season; and on a weekly basis, it turns out that Wednesdays (surprise!) have about twice the rate of any other day.
Posted: 13 February 2016 - 08:24 PM
After he took the first load of trash to the dump he stopped by the grocery store and bought himself fried chicken and 4 12 packs of assorted soda.
He sat at his computer in the garage for several hours.
Late afternoon he did a little more sorting then returned to his seat in the garage
where he still sits.

Hoping tomorrow the pace picks up a bit.

Today I did some trimming on the lilac bushes and other gardening type stuff.
Was a beautiful warm and sunny day.
All the cats had lots of fun out there too. :)
Posted: 13 February 2016 - 03:22 PM
I have no idea what color this will be since I only see code and not shades of colors.

What I wanted to remind everybody of is that tomorrow is Valentines day.
I want you all to treat yourselves.
Do something nice for YOU.
Doesn't mean buying anything or a fancy meal out.
Be creative and enjoy! :D
Posted: 13 February 2016 - 02:54 PM
Hi Diane :)
You are doing GREAT! :D

Hi Dave :)
Really good advice about washing the new jeans before she makes any final jeans decisions.
Good luck with your future "merging" project. :D

He has just taken off to the dump with the first load.
Hope he returns sometime today.
There are still three more truck loads worth waiting in the driveway.
Yes, yesterday I pulled out only a tiny amount from the carport and it was FOUR truck loads worth.
His keep pile so far is very, very small.
YEA!!!! :D

Posted: 13 February 2016 - 01:55 PM
Diane, re jeans. One of the things I have liked about thrift stores is things after washing. I have even resonated new clothes from thrift stores because of shrinkage. You might consider washing all the bend new jeans first and then trying them on. This would let you check both shrinkage and sewing variances. Yoga pants thought. If say I want to have one clean pair per day and then have one reserve pair for each day, that would give you a cap of 14 pairs. You could then reduce that later if you didn't have enough room for 14. I find that sometimes it helps me to break a disposal into stages like that. Sorta doing that thing with winter weight sweat pants. Have tried to merge basement box and closet piles and dispose of some obvious goes. In march I'll cut remainder back to 3-4 pairs to store for next winter.
Posted: 13 February 2016 - 12:04 PM
Tillie, any chance you would want to take a lunch or fluids out to reward him and fuel him to keep going, I know I work until I am out of fuel and want to give up. Thanks for sharing all of your insights.
Closet is now empty, vacuumed, cleaned. Two huge trash bags filled with donations. Almost everything in the huge pile she made of things she thought were no longer me, I could see her point and most was easy to donate. Few things I tried on and once again, she was right. Still have a few of her choices to ponder.
I am now pulling a few dress clothes to donate. Have to eat then plan to try on jeans. So, so much to go through. At least it is all clean and no rodent poop or pee, all that was gone last year.
Will keep the best most comfortable jeans.
Have made a bin of work clothes, paint on them, but comfortable, could not decide what I want to keep so will leave in bin and work on things I will wear that go back in little closet. Thanks for timer reminder, really need to use it today, I am already too tired, sun is out, need to have outdoor fun too
Posted: 13 February 2016 - 11:41 AM
Good Morning Everybody :)

Just updated to windows 10 and having no luck getting colored text on this site.
Plus other frustrating features. :(

Hi Diane :)
Yes, that is the main reason for having a staging area.
With the stuff still where it has always been we just end up shuffling/churning, but once you pull it all out in a different location, decision making becomes a bit easier.
WOW! new jeans! :D
I love new jeans.
Since they fit make sure to keep the new ones and perhaps let go of the older ones.
Breathe, drink water, use the timer and I believe that you will make GREAT decisions about your wardrobe.

He went out there.
Spent a long time emptying the back of the truck of all his newly acquired stuff.
He gathered up some garbage from inside the garage where he sits on his other computer, added that to the trash pile.
NOW he is starting to go through all that stuff I pulled out yesterday.
Plan is keepers go in a pile to the side,
all else into the truck for the dump.
Really, everything is contaminated with animal poop & pee and mold, nothing can be donated.
Wish somebody were here to help me tell him the dangers he faces keeping anything.
He refuses to wear the face mask and gloves.

So far so good with him doing this :D


Posted: 13 February 2016 - 09:07 AM
Tillie I got on here early today to see how you are, I am so relieved that you are OK. If he is like me, once you move the hoard you can finally see what crap it is.
Thanks for the clothes advice. I hauled more clothes out of bedroom this morning. still more to haul. I can see I really like black yoga pants, good for bending and squatting in yard, but do I need 20 pair? Jeans I like because they are go anywhere pants. I keep discovering more that I bought at Costco that fit well, but still have tags on, probably a sign that I have too many.
Today I feel so many emotions looking at that little closet, hopeful, fearful, excited for change, questioning if I can make good decisions.
Yes helper went through first bunch of clothes and made a pile of what she guessed I should get rid of so I could see her opinions, now it is my job to figure out what I want. My helper is actually my ex boss that I worked with 10 years doing clinics. Full time she had her own business as a wellness coach, so she is really great, just never coached a hoarder before, so we are both learning. Main thing is I want to get this done and not lose her friendship. I really like and respect her.
I really appreciate being on here to connect with people that understand hoarding, it is a whole different beast.
Posted: 12 February 2016 - 08:04 PM
He just came home and saw all the stuff in the driveway.
He was pleasant, even did some chatting.
I think seeing the dirty unearthed stuff hit home.
He said it's not worth sorting or salvaging.
Hope, hope, hope that tomorrow morning goes this smoothly.

Please, wish me luck :D
Posted: 12 February 2016 - 07:50 PM
Hi Diane :)
(((Big Hugs)))
Make up a wardrobe of clothes you like and enjoy wearing.
Try not to keep the ones for "just in case".
Live for today.
Have only enough pieces around to last the next two years should you stain, tear or wear out any on a regular basis.
When it looks like you need to add to your wardrobe you may want to make a few fashion choice changes.
What colors are you most complimented on? For me it's when I wear green because it brings out the vivid green in my eyes.
Anyways, this is how I do it.
Would your helper be a good judge of what styles compliment you best?
My style is old Hippie chick with a bit of Goth.
And I have no desire to change. LOL :D

Hope this has helped you a little on deciding what fashion choices to make.

Happy to read you are enjoying the outdoors and using that to help calm your nerves. (((hugs)))

Posted: 12 February 2016 - 07:23 PM
Tillie, sure hope you had a safe day and are ok this evening when he arrives home. Dave you are so tenderhearted, hope you sleep better tonight. Hi Roxie, hope you didn't wear yourself out. Hi Tat and all.
Today I got up before 6am, couldn't sleep thinking of all the clothes I had to move. For 2 hours I moved clothes into rock room, oh my goodness, it is so overwhelming and exhausting. I went outside for a break, ended up rock hounding all day in my yard. It was soothing to my nerves and help me get perspective on my clothes. I have spent so much time and money on clothes I never wore, it is hard. I see I really don't pay attention to my likes enough to know what I like, so just want to keep everything. Now I need to learn what I enjoy wearing, by trying on clothes that catch my eye. As Tillie says, what is age appropriate? What fits my life style currently. I really want to get rid of most of the clothing hoard, what stops me? Besides not knowing what my style is, afraid that I will stain what I keep and will not have replacement clothes here. Afraid of getting addicted to shopping again, so want lots of stuff here. Oh my, at 67y.o. I should know these things. Really do not want to waste the few years I have left sorting clothes-----
Posted: 12 February 2016 - 07:16 PM
Hi Roxie :)
Ice tea "Clink!"
WAY TO GO! for clearing spaces! :D

Hi Dave :)
Thank you (((hugs)))

"heavy sigh"
I went out there and started moving stuff out of the carport and into the driveway.
Spent 5 hours doing this.
Actually made tiny little goat paths around in the carport.
Found MY car. A 1972 VW Beetle.
I pulled out soaking wet cardboard boxes that vomited out their contents.
The smell of cat pee just kept getting stronger and stronger the more I moved stuff out.
It really REEKS out there now.
I found an abandoned nest that I believe to be where baby bunnies came from.
There were so many ice chests of all sizes and some still contained melted ice and or food. :/
Most all this stuff has been neglected since the last century.
No kidding.
Lots of food related garbage.
I did NOT throw anything away.
Frustrating when I look into the carport and see that I hardly made a dent in the amount of stuff still in there.
Well anyways, it's a start.

You could not pay me enough to do this type of work for a living.
Thank goodness we have people like Cory. :)

Posted: 12 February 2016 - 02:07 PM
Roxie, both the threads are unsettling expressions relating very precisely to excessive gathering in my life, the box one perhaps more so. Those are exactly the kinds of boxes I have (and/or had). In basically similar locations. And the "Mother's house" boxes have not yet entered Mrs. Dave's ken. From the perspective of a number of decades out, I think I pretty much know the path and the heartache ahead of that lady. I was right there beside her when she took the lid off those boxes. I could pretty much tell you item by item why they are there, but Diane, Dianne and I have played that game in the past. There is no reason to rehash it. What I described in my post is my reaction as the hoarder to being confronted with the boxes. My guess would be her husband discarded indiscriminately at his mom's because he was overwhelmed and the size of the truck and amount of money he had with him determined what he kept. Unless he will agree to go to a counselor with her, or someone in his family can reach him, he will not change and any hope she has otherwise will just defer the pain and heartache she has to deal with. And the choices and decisions she will have to make about her life.
Posted: 12 February 2016 - 01:01 PM
Dave, is the thread "box after box" that is unsettling you? It is hard to determine who is speaking on that thread. Perhaps Tillie can drop over there with some book suggestions?

Tat, Diane, Dave, Tillie, it is so good to read your inspirational posts. I am feeling lazy and lethargic today, but I know I have to do more cleaning in "my" bathroom, so that will be my focus. I did clear off the file cabinet next to my computer and the floor around it. Not much but it's progress.

Hugs and coffee clinks all around.
Posted: 12 February 2016 - 12:27 PM
I've not slept much since 2-3 this morning after reading those other posts. Most unsettling.

Your list gets my attention. I'm sorry you're having to do the fixing by yourself.
Posted: 12 February 2016 - 12:08 PM
Good Morning Everyone :)

Yes Dave,
You are still alive. ;)
"You post, therefore you are."

HI Tatoulia :)
WAY TO GO!! for doing the folding and putting away part of laundry! :D
"tea CLINK!" :)

Hi Diane :)
Thanks for the skunk. ;P
So glad this last helper session went well. (((HUGS)))
for all your progress! :D

As I recall, too many clothes have been a major part of your struggles to tame them all.
Wonderful plan you have for sorting them all out!
YES! take it slow enough to keep from burning out.
Get outside and play, find more buried treasure to add to your lapidary projects. :D

"heavy sigh" Well..........
I have formulated a plan for attacking that carport.
Not much uncluttered space in the driveway but that will be the staging area.
Plan is to just start pulling stuff out from the edges of the heap, do a basic "pre-sort" of it into different piles.
Want the truck backed up there, ready for loading obvious trash.
Only problem is Him.
Will he do this or will he run off, returning home long after dark?
Will he become violent? Throwing stuff, slamming things, cursing at me?
I have made up my mind to continue with my plan no matter what.
If he leaves I will just pull out all I can and have it out in the driveway, waiting for him.
At 10:00am today I will start this project.
When he gets home tonight it will already have begun so if he plans to make other plans for the weekend he will see that I really meant that this would happen THIS weekend, not sometime in the distant future.

I have made up a list of why this must be done and will give it to him to help him remember.


Posted: 12 February 2016 - 03:17 AM
Am I still alive? My life is being reviewed before my eyes in other threads.
Posted: 12 February 2016 - 12:01 AM
Hi T&T
Yes Tat, it is great to have space and truly appreciate it. I had a skunk visit last night Tillie, I have him your address. I was sitting outside and I smelled him and went inside, no stink today so he must have found you. Sorry, Tillie and you have dealt with the carport for way too long, it is a danger to you both.
Today I got up and did a manic cleaning before help arrived. It was so much better just having one person help. She appreciated all the work I put in this week, and so did I. She had some excellent suggestions. Rock room is almost complete now. We started on my bedroom, oh boy----the clothes on the floor were all hauled into rock room. We separated all clothes, biggest pile was donations. Put all tops together, all sweaters together, jeans pile, athletic clothes, etc. This next week I have to pick the things I want, get rid of the rest. Then bring all the hanging clothes in rock room and do same process S(keeping all the clothes I plan to keep in the room) so I can see exactly what I have altogether. My bedroom is tiny, and the clothes on the floor only, were enough to dress a village. This week I have to take time off so I do not burn out like I did last week. Thanks Tillie for suggestions on nagging little items. I will write it down and try it tomorrow. Thanks to all of you for sharing your experiences.
Posted: 11 February 2016 - 03:29 PM
Hello everyone!

Diane, you are doing so well, isn't it nice to appreciate the room for what it is? Well done! I'll use that as motivation to help me get things together.

Tillie great advice on the piles of miscellany. They have been known to haunt me.

Hoping everyone is doing well, I need to fold laundry if I'm to keep to my new plan of folding laundry and putting it away.

Peppermint tea clinks!
Posted: 11 February 2016 - 12:13 PM
Good Morning Everyone :)

Hi Diane :)
Don't you just love Dave's sense of humor! :D
Wonderful to hear how lovely your rock room is.

How I dismantle a pile of assorted whatevers...
I start sorting them into "like" categories.
Kitchen stuff with kitchen stuff
Pens, pencils, paper, rubber bands, etc.
craft/hobby items
tool box stuff like screw drivers etc.
papers, bills, invoices, instruction manuals, store flyers...........
Then after I have it sorted I tackle one smaller pile at a time.
Put away stuff where it belongs.
Evaluate "why do I have this???" What is it anyway?"
"Do I really need to have it?"
"What's the worst possible thing that could happen if I just chuck it?"

I hate having to deal with miscellaneous stuff so the less the I have the happier I am. :)

Last night the local skunk spent the night in the carport.
I like skunks but you have to be vary careful around them not to spook them.
I worry she will decide to raise this years batch of babies out there.
Baby skunks are soooooo cute.
Think of all the reasons you would not want to try tippy toeing around a whole family of them every day.

Anyways, his method of avoidance of any cleaning is to get really super ugly and nasty.
This time I refuse to back down just because he is being mean.
I don't care any more. I have given him plenty of time and opportunities to deal with this.
I live here too and the carport is a health and safety issue now.
So according to Dr. Tompkins, Ph.D. I have every right to see that this gets done.
"Digging Out" chapter two, "Harm Reduction".

Today is going to be a warm and sunny day. :D
Already have some laundry out on the line.
My Daffodils have started poking up leaves in my garden.
Planning to do a bit of digging in the dirt today with all the cats outside with me.


Posted: 10 February 2016 - 08:28 PM
Is it just me or is everything Dave and Tillie say hilarious? So nice getting a good laugh at you two.
Thanks Tillie, the day in the yard really helped my mood. Today I did get a lot accomplished. Rock room is really looking great. The little crap expects me to get it off the floor I guess. I was hoping if I worked really hard today, it would disappear. I reclaimed my front door area today, it was soooooo bad, looks so nice now. Cleaned all the stuff and books off the bookcase by other door. Books are in donations, bookcase is in rock room. That area is so nice now. It has varnished pine boards sideways on wall and ceiling, rock room has the same warm wood on ceiling, it was so cluttered, forgot how pretty it is. After working all day, I am a little frustrated with little clutter piles in living area. These little piles are so rebellious, they want to maintain the hint of a hoarders life. Who is boss here? Guess I will have my way with them. I am seeing I feel powerless over little piles, like they have rights and I do not. Tomorrow is Thursday, helper is coming at 10:30 instead of noon, yikes, guess those little piles won't make it through the night.
Posted: 10 February 2016 - 04:09 PM
Posted: 10 February 2016 - 04:07 PM
Posted: 10 February 2016 - 03:26 PM
Once again I am outmatched. I only have 500,002. :)
mmm.... store buttons in them ? ...
Posted: 10 February 2016 - 10:00 AM
Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Dave :)
Thank you.
I have blocked the rodents entrance into the house in all the ways I can.
Scooter (the cat) had removed the steel wool tucked around the pipe hole in the kitchen but the one mouse he let in got bored or scared or something and left on it's own.
The plumbing access in the hoarded bedroom closet has been harder to make rodent proof.
And then there was a persistent rat trying to chew it's way in through the tiny gap in the hallway floor where the floor meets the wall but I got expanding foam insulation and fixed that.
That rat had kept all 5 cats entertained for hours as they sat quietly in the hall and listened to it.

Yeah, the garage here has those deadly avalanches too.
No sense in me poisoning or trapping rodents out there.
I just wait until Spring when all the snakes in the garage come out of hibernation and eat them.

Hi CriticalMass :)
After such a hectic and trying time you need to take good care of yourself. Rest when you can.
Just looking at the storage and then thinking about what is in there is a great way to prepare yourself for when you are ready to tackle it.
The very first step in any decluttering project is simply looking at what is there
then formulating a plan in your head.
Remember, you don't have to do it ALL at once.
You can do it box by box, item by item.
Break it down into smaller more do-able bits. :)

Hi Diane :)
WAY TO GO!!! for taking the day off and playing outside! :D
Yes, that newer, still useable stuff is harder to make decisions about.
Keep in mind your wants/needs and desires for your life now and into the future.
Try not to allow past wants or needs to haunt you by keeping the items past their time.
Homeless small stuff! We all get that from time to time.
Hard to find a permanent place for it and then when we need it, we forget where we put it. :D

Last night I let him know that the carport is in no way acceptable and that there will be at least one completely filled truck trip to the dump this weekend.
At least this time of year all the spiders, scorpions, snakes and bugs are hibernating.
Tonight I will repeat what I said last night because he always conveniently forgets.

think today I will go to the store and get some bananas.
Time away from here should improve my outlook on life.


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