Hey road,

I've been thinking about your wish for a July challenge. There are a bunch of homesteaders who do a challenge every august called the "every bit counts" challenge. The idea is to put up some food every single day in august - can something, dry something, freeze something, set something out to cure..so by the end of august, you have at least 31 things put back - maybe one day it's just enough herbs for a cup of tea and another day it's 8 quarts of soup. Doesn't matter. It's progress.

(I thought if this because I just made garlic scape and carrot top pesto for the first time - keeper, and I'm looking forward to lunch tomorrow! And Dh says the county is now free of vampires.)

So, I won't be home most of July, which makes it hard for me to do a challenge, but what if we did an "every bit counts" challenge - every day do something. Clean off a surface, find one thing to get rid of, group like things together, resist shopping. whatever, just one thing. But you have to try to do it every day.

Full day.

I worked in the garden a bit this morning and then went in to school where I finished ripping out the nasty metal shelves. I literally shoveled the floor that was underneath them. Then I sent the building manager a note that I was done and to please let me know when the floor is clean so I can set my room back up.

I stopped at the store for cayenne (need to put that on my seed list!) pasta, wine, and English muffins and hot sauce for dh.

Then I made dinner. I grew everything but the wine, salt, butter and pasta. I feel pretty good about that. I've been thinking about making pasta.

Net in today was a little bit of mail, the groceries, milk, and some veggies.

I left four summer squash, a cucumber, two dozen eggs, and half a dozen squash biscuits on DD's doorstep. She feels better, but she's still testing positive for covid. She and Bean talked to me through the window while I stood on the lawn under my umbrella. Bean said "Grammie come in!" And we had to tell him "Grammie has to stay outside today."

Hi everyone! Hi Becky

Sub c, hope storm clean up goes well. That's so stressful to have a tree through your roof. Geez. So glad no one was seriously hurt. One of my old friends lives in Norman OK and after that Moore tornado she was involved peripherally with the PR. I visited later that year and we drove through one of the subdivisions. The destruction was just unreal. And there were those weird things like you're looking up at the interior of someone's bedroom because two of the walls were ripped off but there is still a delicate picture hanging on the wall totally undisturbed. Crazy stuff.

Cm, I related to what you said. the resistance to authority is real ? "even when the authority is ME!" As I like to say. The minute I write a to do list I know I'm subconsciously going to avoid doing most of what's on the list. I end up doing a thing not on the and then writing the thing on the list just to cross it off. Sometimes what helps me is focusing on the why e.g., "Road, you want to do this because of xyz and it will make you feel abc" And listing the steps or the process of it helps nudge me along (breaking it down more). having a place to share what I did really helps. I don't even need the affirmation from others so much as it's more like a concrete self acknowledgement of what I did. I get some satisfaction writing a list of what I did on a paper no one will ever see, but it's more motivating to do something knowing that then I'll be able to come here and post it. That makes no sense to me but ... I also struggle with finishing. Especially with creative things. I love inventing, I have some initiative, I love starting. I am pretty good at sticking with things - sometimes for a long time, and often things others would find repetitive and dull - but when I am closing in on a finish, I pull back. Partly perfectionism, but that doesn't explain all of it. It's very annoying because there is plenty of toil, and not much to show for it. Other people seem driven to complete because they get the satisfaction from completion. I don't seem to have that association. Oh blah blah blah,

Just had a thought - might be cool to have a visual calendar of projects. Like if I had a giant wall calendar where I posted photos of 2-hour projects that I was going to take on each day. Like on Monday I could Clear the basket of toiletries that's on my floor. I'd take a picture of the basket as is and put it on the calendar. Then afterwards I would take pictures of the finished product - in this case, empty space on the floor - or you could even take some of the process, but the finished result would be a bunch of before and after photos of pieces of the project. If it was too overwhelming to do a months worth you could just do a week or day at a time. I think I might try it,

Whelp. The H has been gone this week with his bro in New Orleans. Comes back today. It was relaxing not having to clean up after myself until I wanted to. Then again, I will see times walk into the kitchen and think. Wow. I totally forgot I left all of this here.

I've thought about the process of cleaning since my bro sucks at it so much... I think what I do is register the time (I have a distortion about how long it takes to do things I don't like to do) and I say ok 15 minutes it will be done (or five minutes or an hour) and then I systematically work from one end to the other spatially or I do category by category - like garbage, then flatware, then plates, then.... and usually it takes the amount of time I estimated.

For things you clean regularly What is your process?

That's a sweet story about ?being in trouble'. Very sorry to learn of the tornado and resulting damage.

Good morning.

My freezer has a bunch of meet in it, which is weird and different.

Bonus son came by to drop it off. He is hopeful about saving the house. Apparently people are going to start some of the clean up today.

I made it to my dinner.
We had such a great time! I needed that.

There was a funny moment (well, there were a lot of funny moments, but this one thing.) ❤️DD's phone rang and she answered it and then she said "we're having dinner with miss E (who also teaches ❤️Gs) and (Subclinical)" pause "no, you're not in trouble, we're seeing them as friends."

I dreamed good dreams about teaching last night and I woke up on my own fairly early. Dh is still sleeping because he is working from home today, so I am just sitting quietly with my coffee.

Gardening this morning, possible trip to my classroom to do more demolition this afternoon.

Deleted last post because personal details.

Bonus sons mom is my friend. I just called her. The damage is really bad and the house is taped off. Her boy is taking her across the police line (hopefully - badge in pocket) to clean out the freezer and fridge and grab some stuff.

I am making freezer space in case she needs it - that is all the help she will take right now.

So the storm yesterday included a tornado that touched down in a nearby small town - the town my bonus son is from. No casualties reported so far, but homes and businesses damaged - including the grocery store. The fire station where bonus son works lost a wall and part of the roof. His mom was not home, but when she arrived home (after walking the last half mile) there was a tree through her roof and her chimney had collapsed. She called bonus son and the fire department guys went over and tarped it and she is staying with him.

I have plans to go to dinner with some friends tonight unless she tells me something I can do to help. Then I will cancel and do that.

Quick check in. I had a few days off and did nothing. It felt so good. Yesterday I had lunch with two friends I hadn't seen in 13 years. It was terrific. This concludes the summary of all I've done since Friday.

Back to works for me tmr. House cleaners came today. My house looks so nice.

Keep up the good work, everyone. I took towels and a throw blanket to the animal shelter today. I bleached my towels last night but they still have some stains. (Makeup). I have four bath towels in total donated two. I figure the two bath towels on the bottom of my pile won't have any stains because I don't rotate my towels. I use the same two over and over again. So I'll buy two more bath towels before my friend from England gets here at the end of the month, so she can have the fresh towels.

SubC,

ROTFL 😂🤣😂 I also procrastinate when I don't have a deadline. I just do it in a different way.

I'll try to keep this short because the power keeps going out, but it's raaaaaaaaining! Hallelujah!

CM, I find the opposite. In the absence of pressure or a deadline I move at a snail's pace and tell myself all the reasons I deserve to rest.

I was going to get so much done this week..

But I have started the porch, and the bench is clear. Things have bern put in the recycling, and a few in the trash can.

Making some progress on the "nest."

It's entirely possible that my roommate and her siblings won't end up coming back here after the memorial service tomorrow. There's supposed to be a dinner afterwards and maybe they will be ready to head home then. I was jokingly suggesting nice places they could go for coffee if they did want to visit more.

It's sad, because I would kind of enjoy meeting the ones I haven't. They're nice people. Isn't it frustrating how this stupid clutter problem ruins things. 😒

Also, what is it about resistance?! Why do deadlines make me so much more reluctant, even to do things that I myself want to do? Just giving me a deadline immediately triggers the resentful and sluggish response, and the wailing and gnashing of teeth, and dragging of heels. Do y'all struggle with this? What helps? Going slowly and trying not to even notice "Hey, I'm decluttering!" is one thing that I do. Sort of try and slip it in under my brain's radar, lol. But when I really need to be moving faster, well...

Good morning all!

I went with that last one.
Late start again this morning. I'm sitting here listening to thunder and hoping for rain - real rain, not the light spray that dampened the concrete yesterday.

I have plenty to do inside and I feel wilted like the garden.

No movies today!

What are your plans?

Hi Becky,

I haven't dated since 1989. And I don't do social media, so I doubt I will be much help.

My younger daughter has had no luck finding actual men, but as she is 25, I assume you are looking in an older and hopefully more mature dating pool.

I hope your day kept going well.

I couldn't find my "Wanna" so I have done almost nothing today. "Almost nothing" being minimal chores, dig half a row of potatoes, make two gallons of milk into cheese and clean up after myself, talk to bean on FaceTime, put away three baskets of laundry, run the dishwasher (mostly cheese things) and watch a lot of old movies.

Maybe I will put away more laundry.

Maybe I will work on the porch.

Maybe I will just do chores and go to bed.

Hi everyone,

Had to share. Just got a friend request.

A handsome General,in the Army.Whoa!!

Not used to this.He was very complimentary
About my posts.

We both belong to a rock hounding site.

I'm single,and could use the conversation
With a ( Real Man) not a boy. Ha

Looked at his profile,and Wow.

Very similar interests.

I need to take it slow. A little nervous.

Cause he may be in Colorado

Any ideas,ladies.

Becky

Hi everyone,

Hope all had a good 4th!

I had some nice visits,with a few friends
On the 3rd.Good to read the posts.
Wow,you all are getting UR done.

Great Job!

I just had a wasp scare. Finally hitting
Them with spray.
I'm Haveing ashma problems. I should have been more careful with crystal sanding.
Dam. Not inside.

Got alot done in kitchen,buddies up with hope.
Yay.
My daughter has covid for 2nd time.
Very recovers,and ran off with boyfriend.
Dropped contact.Make me so mad,because I
Worry.

I ended a relationship with a girlfriend
Who has become increasing rude.
She can reach out to me. I'm done.

Perhaps another friend,with bipolar.
My mom had it.

Trying to get started today.Things fall
Apart so fast in my home.
Trying to get the trash can thing figured

Out. I guess I have to tie them down.
I need them available in every room.

I was blessed with all my favorite artists
On CD. So been blasting the music.

Hugs to all. Becky

Good morning!

Road, you are a good sister. I don't think I could keep going to a house that smelled that bad.

I have started avoiding news. I need to for my mental health. Now I just ask Dh when he is reading the news if there's anything I want to know. He always says no. We didn't go to the fireworks last night. I love fireworks, but I just wasn't feeling it. Dh even looked up when they were and read it out loud to me and I didn't even respond. I think I may be fighting depression again, which is a little scary to me because this is not normal for me in summer. In summer If anything I usually get manic. It's probably situational, because I miss Bean and Covid still makes me angry, and all I could think about the 4th of July was "yay, we aren't British! We don't have to have free universal health care that includes mental health!" (And some other stuff but I know this is not a place for politics - i just figured you guys could probably get behind my "healthcare is good" position. - I know there are downsides in England.)

Dh went to work at work today. My focal points are supposed to be: garden - before it gets too hot in about two hours, cheesemaking - and cleaning up after, laundry - we are at clean underwear crisis point, and side porch - I'm going to at least get enough done to move the stuff from the bench into there.

Lila, keep up the good work, and shout outs to Becky, tatoulua, and CM!

Hi guys, I back. Omg my puppy is insane. I swear she intentionally walks on my screens and remote controls. It's so annoying.

But kinda funny.

Ok, so I pushed myself to take my son to the parade. I planned ahead a little and worked out a few options for parking which would not be too far to walk and would make an easy exit. That worked great. Also, no bladder issues thank goodness. We brought a few chairs, found a shady spot about 20 feet back. we enjoyed the rare float and ignored all politicians. Found a friend and took some pictures. So it was a success. Two hours in and out. No one (me) peed their pants. No sunburn. And we weren't even shot at! Sick joke. My bro heard about the shooting and texted me to be careful but I didn't see it til we left. I've pretty much been watching coverage ever since. Highland park is on the north side and we are on the west so it's about an hour away. I have friends who grew up there buT no one I know who was there today. Very sad day.

Then we were home chilling (I got in a little nap) and then I ran to the store to pick up stuff for the bbq at my brothers. He hosted again. My dad was very quiet from our argument we got into last time we were all together and I basically kicked him out of my house. B
So it was hella awkward as people younger than me like to say. But it was ok. My bro heated up some baked beans and bought some chips and hosted and cleaned** and I did the rest. It wasn't a big deal though. He vacuumed and cleaned the bathroom. He acted helpless not knowing how to use the smoker which was really annoying. He's not a 16 yo, he's a 59 yo man with a degree from a fancy university. Come on give me a break. Google it! "How to ruin 6 filet mignon using a smoker". Lol. But anyway, we made it right up to the "come and get it" and my son yelled out "oh no! And some alarmed sounding jibberish... One of the dogs had pooped in the dining room. Lol. Omg. And trust me, it smelled horrible before that happened. I don't know what is making his house smell so bad but it is like getting punched in the face when you first walk in. I did tell him about it last time so if he doesn't do anything about it that's on him. Yikes. It's bad. But overall, I'm proud of him that he's keeping up with a little maintenance (vacuuming) and is still offering to host. I think I'm setting the bar too low for him. But we made it work again and no fights broke out.

When we got home I finished cleaning up the kitchen and actually cleaned out the bottom shelf. Threw some stuff away and actually dumped out some bad food, ran the disposal, rinsed out the gross dishes and cleaned out the sink. Now that is some advanced cleaning (for me). Then I was able to fit all the leftovers in the fridge without cramming things in there all akimbo. Then I fed the doggies and give the nervous Nellie her "thunder chew" and headed upstairs. My son was singing LOUDLY which is like yelling off key. Some times it's funny and adorable but tonight it was just going straight to my brain.

Well, that is quite plenty about my day.

Sub c, that s so cute about bean and the donut. How is everyone feelingnowwiththecovid ? Cool about FaceTiming with your friend.

Lila, it is really heartbreaking about your son and the destructiveness and how much that impacts your household situation. I can relate in a lot of ways to that. Are you in physical danger when he's out of control? It's hard to imagine how you wouldn't be.

As far as getting rid of things, I don't think that's foolish at all, I think that sounds smart. I wish I felt like I could do that. I say if you feel like you can do it, do it! What a weight that would be lifted off your shoulders. People always say when they get rid of things they end up not missing most of it, and if you really do find you need something you got rid of you can buy it again. I think the experience And what you'd learn from it would be priceless. Could be like a fresh start. Good for everyone else in the house, too. I'm pretty sure there's a whole chapter in the hoarding book about Justin case. Perfectionism, creatives who can think of a use for everything, not wanting things to go to waste, adhd and decision making challenges, unresolved emotional issues that make us hold onto things we don't need... these are all things that contribute to us finding ourselves here grappling with this unique set of challenges.

SPEAKING OF CHALLENGES... anyone up for a july challenge? I don't have any ideas I just know I could use some focus!

Hyper puppy just wiped out my post just as I was about to hit send. Arrrrgha! Be back

Yay Lila! Enjoy your time with acorn!

The dining table is clean, the kitchen is mostly clean, the great room including couches is clean. There are sorted stacks on the entryway bench which will get moved as I start on the side porch and make space to group like with like (every category also exists in multiple places on the side porch.)

Most of this is school/work or garden related.

You guys, I am doing so good! I am proud of myself!

In addition to making carrot dogs, cleaning my dog's ears and trimming his nails, and putting in 2 loads, I have:

- put the quilt in a sealed bag in the garage
- got out the two small totes of spices and seasonings from my bedroom, sorted them, looked at the spices in my kitchen and got rid of any that are more than 5 years old and replaced with newer ones from the totes. I put a few in the drawer in the kitchen also, and got my spice stash down to only ONE small tote! It is going back in my bedroom but I have a goal of finding space for it in the kitchen at some point.
- went outside and swept the side of the house where the flea room is, so the guy can spray there
- swept up the driveway nearesy the house
- trimmed a few more straggly branches from my trees and put them in the compost bin
- brought a bassinet in from the garage. It is almost new, given to me by a friend. I am babysitting Acorn tonight while my son and dil take Tot to the fireworks!
- Swept more of the garage

I am really so proud of myself. Having some iced tea now (it is 1:00) and then I am going to work on the laundry and all the clean stuff I just washed from teen's room.

Problem - I don't know where teen got SO MANY clothes but I am certain half of them don't even fit. They could belong to a friend. They were literally all over the floor. I am considering putting them into a tote, so teen can go through them when they return. I don't think I can donate any of it without teen.

I have good energy today so working hard.

yay, glad to see posts!

CM, I have heard of DE from my friends with dogs. I forgot about it. I will look into using it for this. I don't know if I can/should rub it on the cat also, or can use it in bedding etc. I will do some research and get some as long as it is safe for cats. Thanks!

I cleaned my dog's ears and put some cream in them. He has some kind of allergies (not fleas) from either food or environment, I think, and his ears get itchy. They look better now. I also trimmed his nails. I am glad I got that done. I may try and dremel them later to smooth them down, and may brush him as well.

I have so much pain in my right knee I am limping. They said it is arthritis and a cyst. I took naproxen and rubbed some penetrex cream on it. I think I will put my shoes on now and go outside and sweep the area outside teen's room. And maybe the driveway, and put a few sticks in the mulch bin.

Then will put the bag containing the quilt into the garage. I decided not to wash/dry it since it is nearly new and is clean. I think in a bag in the hot garage for a week will kill any fleas.

I also took phentermine as I am trying very hard to get this weight off, but I regained 4 more freaking pounds. UGH.

P.P.S. Have you tried Diatomaceous Earth sprinkled around as an adjunct means of flea control? It's natural and environmentally friendly. It does seem to help.

P.S. I've heard about the carrot dogs. Maybe someday will get brave enough to try them. I have sensory issues with foods I think I mentioned, and though technically I do "like" hot dogs, I got grossed out reading what's in them so I gave them up. I've tried soy dogs in the past and they were sort of okay. The carrot ones, it would depend on the flavor, whether it was like a meat dog or weird and vegetabley.

Hi, I'm home decluttering too. In fits and starts. If I try to do a big push these days I quickly get burnt out and then my attitude starts to go south. So baby steps.

Trying not to think about the day I lost Friday with vehicle emergency and where I would have been on the cleaning had my original plan materialized. Also trying not to be annoyed with roommate because she waited to text me until she was already on the road - if she would text before she leaves her family's city it would give me maximum heads up. I've tried and tried to hammer that home, and sometimes I succeed and sometimes not. Trying to believe she had a good reason. I don't want to be harsh or unforgiving; she is maxed out on all fronts.

Anyhow. I don't even have the sofa cleared, much less the vacuuming and washing the sheet we keep on the sofa because of the kitty. If she wants to nap this afternoon I won't be able to vacuum. And with the huge dog home it can be more complicated too. Le sigh... 🙁

Lila, I know you will be glad to be done with the flea issue.

I am feeling tired and unmotivated today. I have managed to clean off the couch, but mostly by moving stuff to a nearby bench that also needed to be cleaned off. At least I have all the things that needed sorting out in one place?

Happy 4th! I hope many of you are out having fun but I also hope a few are home, like me, trying to clean and declutter. I like it when we are serial posting and having conversations.

I did two more loads of wash last night (stayed up late) from the flea room. The only thing left is a small quilt a relative made for teen. I need to reserach how to wash or maybe just the dryer will get rid of any fleas on it. I don't want to ruin it. I need to take out what's in the dryer and dry the sheets that are in the washer.

I sprayed the room last night and closed it off. It says it is safe for pets after 2 hours. I am waiting a bit more and will vacuum it and air it out.

Already this morning I made homemade chai from my spices (sipping now) and am making "carrot dogs" which are vegan hot dogs where you marinate carrots and eat them like a hot dog. I am vegetarian, mostly, now, and can't eat hot dogs die to the cancer. Son will be grilling and I am bringing these dogs and some frozen bean burgers. Son will have real burgers and dogs there for others as well.

Hoping to get lots done today before the bbq. I will be back to share.

Awww, thank you CM! That is so cute. And I will take it. LOL.

I spent all afternoon researching washers and dryers, then pricing them and finally buying them. They will be here in 3 weeks. Ours are dying, making spots on clothes sometimes, keep breaking down and just not worth putting money in to fix anymore. They are also rusty. I will be very happy when they are gone and we have nice shiny new ones in there! I have a very small laundry room with not much in there, so it won't be too hard to declutter. Harder to clean... lots of dust and lint, plus the litter box. I will clean it really good before the new ones arrive.

I also put in two loads of flea sheets and blankets from teen's room. I am almost ready to spray in there. Teen is gone and cat won't be allowed in there while it dries overnight. Then I will vacuum tomorrow. I was told to sweep the outside edge of the house and get any dead leaves and debris away from there as well. I will do that tomorrow too.

I am home all day tomorrow until dinner so will try to only eat/drink things that will give me good energy, and get a lot done in the decluttering department.

My dog is angry and bored so I better go play with him a bit before bedtime.

Let me try again with a different url

This one is for Lila - I totally relate

Hey

It's been quite a last few days. I had to get some repairs done on my van. This is not like the old van that was a money pit. These repairs were straightforward and the van runs great. But they aren't free, of course. There will be a couple of other things but I can take a few months to spread out the expenses.

Roommate is gone till midday tomorrow. Because of some of the things with the van, I was late and disjointed getting the weekend rolling, also ADHD was pretty bad and I was having the devil of a time remembering all the pet care and other things I needed to do. Some things got forgotten. But we are all still alive. I don't know how my roommate keeps track of it all. I do know she feels incredibly pressured most of the time; even if she does have an adequate memory, she still has to physically do the things.

She found out last week that an uncle had died of Covid earlier this year, and the memorial service is next week. Her siblings will be coming to town. Which means, I must clear the "nest" of my junk off the sofa. Which I had been thinking of doing anyway while she was away. No escaping or procrastinating now.

I've got to figure out things about papers that I could purge. For example, in my involvement with the bunny rescue. So many ideas jotted down over the years, yet I think much of it is obsolete because we are just flying by the seat of our pants after Covid and organizational shakeup and them having extra bunnies - my lovely bullet point lists of ideas may never matter. And I accept that.

There are undoubtedly more areas of my life where similar reassessments are in order. I need clarity.

And a computer, for real. The current one did a thing the other day, just shut off with no warning. Rebooted fine but I'm not waiting for another motherboard failure like the last time. So I will be backing up data to external hard drives and starting to shop. Best be proactive.

For now, wish me luck getting the nest dismantled.

Lila, All of us here have an imaginary friend called "Justin Case" but Justin is not a good friend. He takes advantage. He clutters up our lives with things we don't need and often never turns up to claim them, so we try not to store things for "just in case"

I think that if you have not used it in the last year, and you do not have a clear plan for when you will use it (example "I will use this when tot is seven, so even though that is a long way off, I have a clear plan for it.") you should get rid of it. I believe you will be able to have the things you need. Especially if you stop buying things you don't need.

That is so cool about the FaceTime, SubC! Very fun!

I think you are onto something with stacking the tubs where a cabinet would go, maybe covering it with a pretty blanket. Which also makes me consider consolidating or getting rid of some of the glassware etc. A few items perhaps.

I have struggled for so long to find energy. I know when I eat healthy and exercise I have more, but that doesn't help me today. It's too late in the day for caffeine. Maybe if I just start working on things, the energy will come.

I need to continue washing laundry, blankets, sheets from teen's flea bedroom. I bought some natural flea spray, so once all the laundry is out of there, I will vacuum the room and then spray in there and leave it for 24 hours.

I wrote some time ago about how if someone offered me $10k I could get rid of most of my belongings. Maybe I need to just get rid of it all and TRUST that $10k will come into my life at some point to get the things I need. What do you guys think about that? Is it foolishness to get rid of things I MIGHT need someday?

Yes, the vhs tapes are going to be a big thing. Maybe don't start there.

Think about this - right now is not the time for you to have pictures framed in glass on your walls. Probably the next three years are not that time. We don't know exactly when that time might be, and that is ok. But you need to make your home fit your life now. So the empty picture frames should go. Trust that when it is time to hang a framed picture on the wall, you will be able to find a picture frame that works.

If you had a metal cabinet, you could cover the front in pictures in magnetic frames. Or cover the front in pictures and protect them with plexiglass. Or just paint it to look beautiful. Meanwhile you could stack the locking tubs in a place where the cabinet will go and cover them with a blanket - you have extra blankets, right? Are any of them pretty?

Good job on the otoscope!

I cleaned off the dining table! And I FaceTimed my best friend. I haven't seen him live in 22 years. We just write and send photos. His voice is deeper. And he was self conscious about his hair being gray. - which is funny because he sends pictures! And he carried me around the room and introduced me to his kids. It was amazing.

Back to work.

oops, wanted to also respond - Road, as for acquiring, I tend to stress shop online. I find it takes my mind off whatever terrible thing is bothering me. So I start browsing and looking and pricing. Categories I do this with tend to be: clothing, food, dog items, cleaning items (lol).

Last time I stress shopped about $300 in clothes, but I returned almost all of it.

Awww little Bean wanting his special Sunday treat! That is so sweet, the tradition is meaningful to the little guy! I love that!

Thank you so much for the bar/horse analogy. That helps ad so do suggestions. Let's see. actually have four jewelry boxes, forgot to name one. One has my mother's jewelry and a few dad/grandparent pieces in it. Then I ha another one with some of mine in it... it s full. The rest of mine is in the top dresser drawer which is very shallow and lined for jewelry. The other small one my son gave me is empty, but could be used for other small items. The idea was, when my other son gave me the big jewelry wall hanging cabinet, that all my jewelry would go in there from the dresser drawer and the box that is not meaningful. Then I would get rid of that one or give it to teen or Tot. Actually this makes me think about getting rid of some jewelry. I wear maybe 5 - 10 pieces and all the rest sits.

The frames are for photos which are in tubs. Yes, I think teen would destroy them. Almost all my wall space is completely bare for this reason.

Yes! the otoscope can go n the medicine cabnet, thank you, and I don't know why it wasn't there in the first place.

VHS tapes are personal... of my kids as babies, and of my father before he died. Some of them I mailed out to have put on dvds but they did something wrong and I am paralyzed trying to figure out what tape was not copied or what they missed. I also have tapes that have not been copied yet. Anxous about it.

I like the cabinet idea in a way. But also all those items make me so angry and sad. I love teen so much and it makes me very upset that I won't be able to have anything fixed and nice unless teen is not here... but them not being here is a dreadful thought. Why can't things just be better? How can you love someone with your whole being, so much, and still be so angry and hurt by them? It's like my soul is outside my body being tortured.

I had a good morning with Tot and now am home resting. I plan to do some work on these things in my room now. Or at least some processing in there.

Omg you guys - every Sunday my Dd takes bean to the bakery for a muffin or donut. And they sit on the bench outside and eat it.

Bean knew it was Sunday because the church down the road rings it's bells. And he wouldn't stop crying "donut, mama, muffin. Get donut."

The bakery doesn't have curbside or delivery, but sil called and they took his cc and left the bag on the bench for him to grab without exposing anybody.❤️

I have been told by horse people that when you teach a horse to jump, you begin by laying the bar on the ground and leading the horse to step over it. I have seen this done with alpacas, who can learn to leap bars that are quite high.

Lay your bar down, we will coax you over.

Lila, a few things stand out to me - you have three jewelry boxes - are they empty? Where is your jewelry?

What is supposed to be in those empty frames? Is there wall space for the unhung pictures? Is the problem that teen might pull them off the wall?

Just a thought that might or might not appeal - There are a variety of locking metal cabinets available which might help you better store all of those tote items if you have the furniture room. I realize that they can be quite expensive. Maybe you can find a dollar every day to put in a jar? - start with your change. You would have enough for a nice one in a year. Trust me, a year is not a long time.

Can the otoscope go in the medicine cabinet?

Are the vhs tapes personal or commercial?

Give the dog a treat.

My bar for today is to maintain or improve the kitchen while processing more beans and possibly making cheese. Also to clean up the dining table and great room space - especially the couch I have buried.

Whoa Lila, there is a lot of emotional weight in all those piles of "you weren't so sure what was there..."

The content sounds a lot like mine. I think I may be further along in analyzing what my stuff is about but I may be more immobilized than you. You do a really good job of taking action and that is so important.

My only suggestion for prioritizing is to see if you can categorize thinGs by how Much space they are taking up, how much emotional baggage they hold, and how long they would take to deal with... like is there something that's not taking Much space but might be heavy lifting emotionally or a 10-hour project? Or maybe there's something that's taking up a few bins worth of space but it might only take a hour or two to get rid of it... one way to prioritize.

Over here I was able to clear a path to the door. Bare floor from here to there and nothing obstructing the door or floor. Threw away some more little pieces of garbage (mostly puppy shredding), and picked up some laundry off the floor. My son had been starting to come in and "redistribute" things again so I started locking my door.

Motivated again to get a handle on things. Thanks everyone! I think last year I printed out some of my analysis and plan of attack. I will try to find that and Review. No sense reinventing ye olde wheel.

Re: acquisitions, where is everyone on this topic? I feel like generally I am out of this stage but there are some sneaky ways thins start to accumulate again. Like sinCe my Dx in April, I've bought 4 books and about 10 related supplies like some supplements, a water filter, etc. I can totally justify all of it but the issue is that due to my existing hoard of books and supplements I still can't find what I'm looking for half the time. Random thoughts.

Subc, good reminder about finding (free/cheap) things to do around town. I think my limitation (aside from generally getting more anxious/introverted) is that going out with my son can be challenging because I have to always have a hand on him. I Feel like I have to go to the bathroom constantly and I can't leave him alone - even in a restaurant at a table because he could wander off. A lot of places don't have the family bathrooms and he's too old to take into the ladies with me. But since I stopped drinking Diet Coke, the bladder situation has Been better... maybe with some planning I could figure out a few places to go and expand from there. Same situation with vacations. I could take him down to universal and stay with a friend or something but I couldn't manage him in the park alone. Most of the time he's super sweet and polite but in a crowd or unfamiliar situation he could just up and whap someone walking by,,, maybe I just need to do outings in a buddy situation with another special needs mom... hmmm wheels are spinning...

Road, sounds like we have similar bars, lol. You can do it, a little at a time!

I think SubC's question to me is waking something like a new awareness. What is cluttering up my room aside from clothes? And I couldn't even think of more than a few small items. So I decided to take this as an "awakening" to reexamine what IS cluttering up my space, and what can go.

I went in there tonight and took photos with my phone. Now I am going to look through them and list, what really IS in my room taking up all this space (furniture is not excessive so not lisitng that).

- coins strewn and in boxes/bags
- envelopes, cards, address labels
- otoscope
- files, papers, gift bags
- plastic box of random items
- plastic tote of tools that I have to keep locked up from teen
- 2 or 3 plastic boxes of medicines I have to keep locked up from teen
- box of dress up jewelry for Tot when she's 5ish
- 2 plastic drawer sets full of teen's childhood things, including some toys, barbies, etc to pass on to Tot, mementos teen doesn't care about now but probably will later
- empty big wall jerelry box that needs to have photos put in it and be hung on the wall
- 6 pairs of new or nearly new sneakers
- tote of cords, plugs, software, computer mice, memory sticks etc
- paper shredder, Christmas book someone gave me, box of pens, tote of blankets
- old laptops (2) that I need to get files off, but they won't boot up
- new photo scanner
- a wooden chess board my son made for me
- candles
- tote full of our kitchen dishes that are breakable, kept there because teen breaks them
- tote full of coffee mugs and glassware, same reason as above
- box of kitchen knives locked up, same reason as above
- trash can, empty boxes for donations
- box of childhood photos and my mother's journals
- totes of photos of my children's childhood
- photo albums of my kids
- jewelry boxes, one that was my mothers, one my son gave me
- empty frames, folded blankets, dog bed, little rocking chair that was mine as a child, in there so teen doesn't destroy it
- tote of nail polish and supplies
- dollhouse my dad made for me when I was a child, but it's on the fragile side, want to let tot play with it when she is 6 or 7
- bags of dog treats, food samples, chews, meds, supplies
- tote of dog chews and treats, full
- books I borrowed but havent read yet
- boxes for things I bought and might re-sell
- electronics
- coffee mugs and hot/cold thermoses and cups, mugs that have special photos on them, a mug my dad gave me before he died. All kept in my room so teen doesn't break them
- box of DVDs I had created from vhs tapes but some things are missing so I can't even get rid of the vhs tapes til I am sure what was copied
- a plastic bin of expensive spices I bought but have no room for in the kitchen
- wrapping paper
- pictures from my childhood that I have not hung
- random cords, prescriptions, play doh, a disposable camera I need to develop for teen, more pens, pieces of candy, 2 tablets, a hot and a cold lunch container, lavendar eye cover, rice bag that can heat in the microwave for sore areas, flashlights, books, lotions, index cards, notebooks, markers, colored pencils
- tape measures, dog toys, sandals, slippers, stick vacuum, dust rags, dog food samples, china tea set, bags for travel, cords for internet, lamp, my dog's ashes (this makes me sad, I need to do something nice with them but am not ready)

This is not counting anything in closet or drawers.

Hi all,

Back from making dinner, cleaning up, medicating the nervous Nellie dog, and putting my son to bed... now I am not at all motivated to do anything in my room so I guess I will just Try to do something. Maybe I will make it so I am not tripping over things trying to get out of the door. Such a high bar! 🤔🤓

I hear you Road and am reading your posts. That sounds like stressful situations with dh and dad and trying to get stuff done and makeson's life as great as you can. I relate to a lot of it. I hope you can get the family vacay sorted out.

SubC, what's in my room besides clothes. Hmmm.
the most random stuff. I think I will go in there and take a mental inventory after dinner. I know it is so piled I can hardly walk, but now that you ask me, I can barely name anything that's in there. I will report back.

I am making dinner, Tot is here, we played, now she is playing with my son. Her parents will be here in 30 min with the new baby, whom I shall call Acorn. I have not cooked yet... I had to clear the dining room table, which was piled high because of having the carpets cleaned a week ago. Nothing ever got put back. Too many chaotic things went on. But the table is cleared and wiped. Although, I mainly put all the stuff onto other surfaces. I have a lot of work to do, and am even more motivated to get rid of things because this is ridiculous, and tiring.

I'm with Lila. I am a bit frozen in my tracks with my room right now. All I ended up doing was picking up some trash and laundry. No noticeable difference visually. Instead I got distracted by printing up a hoard of summer school activities for the kid. I found some good stuff but the reality is I already have way more than I could ever use and he is routinely (Literally) narcoleptic when faced with structured table work. This neurologist is completely useless.

Tatoulia, I hope this was a stay at home day because I am seeing in Twitter that the young nazis (pat front) are marching there and mucking up the works.

Re vacay. The H is going to NOLA for a few days (where his bro is working during the week) and they have this whole array of amazing stuff scheduled to do. I was earnestly excited for him to spend this time with his bro and nephew since they have been through a lot with their challenging mother and losing their brother two years ago. It then when he started giving me flack about the vacay we were planning, my grace went out the window. Honestly, he's ok if I go somewhere for a few days because he wants to be able to also but what we really haven't done for 5 years is take a family vacay. My son doesn't understand a lot and can communicate even less but he does ask about the beach and talks about that vacay quite a bit. I had a goal to get him back into activities and he has a fairly packed slate. I advocated for him to have a better school situation next year to the best of my ability, and even though I feel I failed, I did negotiate some stuff for him. That's all I can do. So I'm still behind catching up on his medical stuff although we just did that ridiculous extended EEG. Now I just have the goal of giving him some fun family experiences. We were actually just going to go to St. Louis with my folks but my dad had a meltdown the other day and I decided I didn't want to get in a car with him for that long or be beholden to him for paying for the hotel, etc. so I bailed out and we haven't talked for a week. He really and truly needs some medication or something but I don't think there's anything I can do about that. They've done better (he's done better) living at the retirement place for the past year but now my mom is indicating that he's starting to get into it with people there so she's worried.

I'm really going to try to reset my room tonight. First have to make dinner...

So, what categories of stuff are in your bedroom besides clothes?

As for the coins - unless you want to make a hobby of inspecting coins for a treasure hunt, start spending them so you don't get more!

Hard, slow method: Basically every penny, nickel or dime minted since 2000 is face value so start by carrying a dollar or two of those in your pocket to spend. Then pick a category - say, quarters, and check by year to see if there is anything valuable - you can make note of things to look for and start rolling or spending them down.

Or, fast method: just realize that the odds of you having a coin that will be worth the time spent to sell it are extremely low (lower than your odds of getting hit by a car) and just spend/bank the change.

I am trying to clean my bedroom and it is such a struggle. Can anyone talk me through this a bit?

I already picked up all trash, sorted receipts and papers and threw away any I don't need as well as stray packaging.

I look around and everything in there is something I think I need, or am hesitant to get rid of. Clothing aside (which I worked on and it is mainly under control), how can I figure out what to keep and what to get rid of?

Just because I have not used something in a couple years, I can't just get rid of it.

UGH it is so frustrating!!

I have piles of coins and I think there has to be a valuable coin in there somewhere! Maybe there is that rare coin that will be like winning the lottery and get me out of debt. There are so many though. And how do I know if it is valuable? I tried looking up rare coins and started a list and spent a whole day looking at some of them.

I still have 6 pairs of sneakers even though I donated several pairs. There is so much junk I can't walk in there!! But not one item I look at feels like I could donate it! I think something is wrong with me. How will I ever get out of this maze of trash??

Thank you SubC for the reminder. Guilt tries to slide in, but you're right. This is my chance to recharge and relax a bit, to be better able to deal with things when teen comes home.

I went and ran a few errands: used a coupon to get a free bag of dog food, got some cute clearance clothes for Tot and the new miniTot, got some iced tea, and dropped off those donation boxes. Yay, my house is lighter!! :)

Then I went for my pedicure and I don't feel like I have hawk talons for feet anymore. Came home and took laundry out, put laundry in. Resting a bit now.

I will be going to pick up Tot and bring her over to play for a couple hours with the "new" toys from the garage, and then her parents are coming for dinner. What's for dinner, you ask? I am asking the same thing, lol.

Lol- maybe I will paint the fan. He would hate that.

Road, my youngest uncle has been sober for three weeks this time. All you can do is support positive decisions. Hiwwould we be able to support you through the stresses in you life if you didn't tell us about them?

I think you deserve a vacation. Even if all you can do is get ahead on that clean up and then take mini vacations locally - leave your boys at home together and go do something that relaxes you and brings you joy for the day - do that. It doesn't have to cost a lot. For example - I live an hour from a free art museum with a very nice, reasonably priced cafe where I could get lunch..

Lila, you have done a lot! I think YOU deserve a vacation too! Clear away the rubble so you can start over as well, and then enjoy the rest of the two weeks eating off your pretty china and relaxing and do not feel even a little bit guilty when you feel happy or relieved. The inpatient time is for you too, to recharge so you can continue to move forward.

I got the beans picked, and some of the onions, and I dug up one potato plant because they are dying back - not a great harvest, but not bad for sheer total neglect. Enough to make a nice dish of new potatoes and green beans for dinner.

It is much too hot to be outside. I've had to take many water breaks to cool off and keep soaking my shirt. I am done for today (at least until evening)

My next goal is to clean up the kitchen and get some of these beans into the dehydrator.

oh SubC, I know how irritating it is when we have to look at something we don't like day after day! My husband went to buy a washer and dryer 16 years ago when I was in the hospital for a week. I TOLD him "just anything BUT the ones with the rainbow colored dial settings, I don't like those." But of course those were on sale and he got them. And as shallow as it is, I have thought about it almost every time I do laundry all these years. I should have just painted over it or something. But now this set is dying and I am going to be the one choosing!!

Teen has made progress over the years and sometimes DOES clean up the rage mess themselves. But this time teen is inpatient for a week or two, and I figured it would be emotionally better if it is cleaned up now, and not a reminder hen they get home.

Today is my day off and so far I:
- put in a load of wash
- took two boxes of donations to the car
- added the air fryer and a couple of wreaths to the donations
- threw out some trash and two boxes from the garage
- found the Tot sized small box of clothing in there, got out the summer things and put them in my car to give to Tot to wear
- found the Tot age appropriate toys (2 tubs) and brought them inside. I will switch out the ones more suited for a 1-2 yr old and put out the 3-4 year old ones, and put the tubs back. Some may be donated, but I already pared it down significantly.
- trimmed the branches on a front tree and roses again, and put them in the green bin
- watered the plants in front
- made an appointment for a pedicure this afternoon

Wow! See, this is why I love this forum. I thought I did not get much done but it looks great when I list it out!

I hope you can get a vacation, Road. Let him stay home and watch the dog, and YOU go!

I will focus on surrounding myself with things that are soft, sturdy and beautiful!

Hi all,

Sorry I have missed so much again!

Subc, your wish for Lila to have things "beautiful, sturdy and soft" Made me smile and feel so much affection for all you wonderful people.

The ups and downs continue to roll along here as well - suffice it to say, my sister had my brother take her to the hospital with a herniated disc and desire to go to rehab. One epic week of disasters later (at a very poorly run for profit rehab) is home, sober I think, in slightly less pain, and plugged in to a Buddhist based program that she feels very good about. Her codependent daughter, in her absence, slid into an epic episode of something I'm not sure what. But I got calls from her, from her friend, from one of her cousins... She needs to decide to go to rehab, to stop lying to herself and others, and do the work of it. what can I say? Feeling pretty "not my circus not my monkeys" right now about the whole thing. I am totally sympathetic about the struggle of addiction, but when you're 30, and you have had addiction issues for half your life and haven't even finished one 30 day stretch of rehab, I don't know. I guess I'm just venting, but if you have suggestions, let me know. My other niece finally got out of the hospital with eating disorder issues. That was like a month. OY!

Meanwhile here I sit in my hoardy room and complain about others' dysfunction. I am horrible people.

Just kidding I'm not that bad, really.

SO! We finally started talking about a vacation. Maybe even a two weeker and I started getting excited but then the H came to his senses and started throwing cold water on everything. Ugh. Anyway, who knows what will happen with that but momentarily I was very motivated to clean stuff up and get my ducks in a row - I guess anticipating a dog sitter would be visiting and the fridge would need to be emptied, etc. so I'm going to try to work off of that even though I don't know if we are going to go anywhere or not. I had some clarity a few months ago that I needed to start a vacation savings fund, and even downloaded an app for it, but lost track of it. That's exactly what I need to do though because otherwise I feel like I'm at the mercy of his whims. Naturally, anything he wants to spend on is justified because it's for the house or car, even though it might be money we don't have. He's not motivated by taking vacations so it doesn't seem to matter to him if we go anywhere or not. I am not talking about 5-star. I'm talking about a week or two at a Vrbo or airbnb in Wisconsin. I guess I don't understand how we can't afford it when people who seem to make A lot less than he does can. I feel like I am so thrifty. But I must admit I don't have a clear handle on the finances, and the power dynamic of me not working and him working and being like he is is not conducive to taking vacations I guess. I think if you could sum our issues up in two words it would be "power struggle." Blurrrrgh

Ok, so all this complaining and my room is still a mess so I'm gonna get Off my butt and get out my little daily to do page and fill it out and get my head straight. I will be back with a productivity report I hope.

Tatoulia, tell me a little more about how you decided to gather stuff up. Do you just periodically scan your place and decide you want to do a sweep? What motivates you?

Subc, hope bean feels better. Lila, sorry about the fleas. Been there. It's such a hassle with having to go through everything but with the teen gone hopefully it is easier to really access everything. Sorry too about the destruction in the garage.

Sending hugs out to everyone::::

Well, bean is positive. I'm sure his parents are next. I was last there Tuesday night.

Lila, lean in to the desire to clean the garage! It sounds like you need to fill your life with things that are beautiful, sturdy, and soft.

Is teen able to help clean up when they have calmed down?

It finally rained here last night. Today begins the long drive to clean up all the everything's and get control of the garden. Especially since I won't see Bean. :( I hope we can dig potatoes when he does come back. The deer ate all of our sunflowers. :(

The ceiling fan in our bedroom died and Dh bought another one yesterday while I was at the "staff meeting." He called to see if I wanted to meet him and help pick, but I had already had a beer and couldn't drive, so he went without me and chose one I hate. I got home and he had it nearly installed. Since it is nothing at all like any of the fans we have chosen together, I feel like he had to know I wouldn't like it. It's high quality and will probably last the rest of my life. I feel like I am being punished for making the extremely rare choice to be social.

SubC, aww Bean, I hope he feels better quickly. Sounds like he is not too bad right now.

Did the format or font or something change just now on this forum?? Or did I click something?

I have another laundry load going.

I also went into the very hot garage and swept up 90% of the glass and ceramics that teen with autism smashed in a rage the other day. My poor, pretty ceramic pots that I was going to put plants in, and mason jars. One had legos in it, so those were mixed into the shards but I picked them out. The whole thing makes me sad. Shards over about half of the whole 2 car garage. It was too hot to move items that had shards under them, so that will have to wait. This is why I gave up.

It made me kind of depressed. But also made me want to go in that garage and get rid of most of the items in there. There is even an air fryer sitting in there that I have no idea where it came from. We have an air fryer in the kitchen. DH bringing in more hoard? It's going to be donated.