Good morning!

Hi May May!

Still on vacation.

Lila, how is the bar going? I would start with the things that have homes because they are easiest.

Why are there dog treats? You aren't buying new dog treats are you?

Beach is calling!

Hi all, still not caught up on the thread yet. Feeling crummy today from shingles vax yesterday. Uggggh. And this tinnitus is driving me straight up the wall. Went to see doc about it but he basically said it's age related hearing loss, nothing you can do, etc. Not curable, not really even treatable other than training your brain to perceive it less. But then I researched more and I did find some stuff about medications causing it so hopefully that's what it is and is still reversible. Send up a little prayer... really struggling tonight.

PSA- make sure you know what damages your kidneys if they are marginal as well as your inner ear. Those are two things that once gone are gone.

Sending out hugs to you all - I'm sure I will feel better qtomorow and will try to catch up then.

Good evening y'all! The 2nd day of the cleanup went really well. We got rid of like 5 truck loads of junk. Now my boys and I are heading to Cracker Barrel for dinner. Then when we get back to the hotel, we're going to chill out in the pool and hot tub for a bit.😁

Thanks for the update, MayMay. Fascinating!

So I've started to make lists to get things done and it's helping a lot. Yesterday I got three goodwill bags to the car. That felt really good. The clothes are all nice and I went back and forth on one blouse. I took a package to the post office just as it was closing. Returning a pair of shoes.

I am desperate to find good walking shoes. I've been wearing Allbirds for a number of years but I've noticed that the flats aren't wide enough. They are wide enough and fit comfortably but the sole isn't wide enough and I've been falling. I tried birdies and I do love the dressier ones, the commuter ones didn't fit. I've just ordered two pair of something called vivaia shoes and we will see how those work. I just want a nice flat to walk around the city.

So that's the news. I have a meeting to run to.

Hi Tatoulia😃 yes the hoarder is still in the house. The hoard is a mix of basically trash and too many possessions. Today was a little rough, but of course it was the first day of the cleanup so I wasn't expecting it to be easy.😅

Looking forward to hearing about the hoarding cleanup. I don't now how many details you can share but I have a few questions. Is the hoarder still in the house? What type of hoard are you looking at? Trash, too many possessions, animals, etc. very interested in what you are doing. Obviously I understand if you cannot share.

Good morning y'all! Today is my first major hoarding cleanup in like NINE YEARS! (Yeah it's been a really really long time!) and it's my boys first major cleanup ever. so this will be very interesting; leading a cleanup with 7 rowdy, hyperactive early 20 somethings.😜

Hey all, hey Lila,

I'm getting my son off to school but you can reach me on Instagram or fb. I will code things a little I guess. Ig: j a n e s a y s 8 but without all the spaces, and fb is s a r a j o n e s and the picture is green sneakers. Msg me anytime. Will check back in later.

I'm going to try to describe something that Tillie once said to me. MayMay if you remember it, please pipe up.

She said something about the things that are in the way. And I realized that whenever I reached for something particular in my kitchen cabinet, I had to first move the measuring glass out of the way. And so I learned to either move or get rid of the measuring glasses in my way in all areas of my life.

Lila, you have a lot on your counter. Anything that is actually just in your way of getting to what you use? If you find you don't use the coffee cup spinner, get rid of it. Is there a reason to save the towel for the ex? It sounds like he has scads of stuff. If the ice cube trays don't fit in the freezer, do you need them? That sort of thing; forgive my bluntness. The analysis can be freeing or it can be overwhelming. And if you don't want to look at things that way, that's okay too. I understand. Or maybe now isn't the time

I have two bags of nice clothing to be donated and a bag of towels for the shelter. As I mentioned in a previous post, I only keep four white bath towels and one Turkish towel. I bought a few towels on sale and have washed those up to replace the ones I donated a week or so ago. Taking a look at my hand towels, I found I have two that can go. I then took a look at my tea towels and let two go.

I still have more clothes to go through. Stuff that fits but isn't fitting my current aesthetic. I panicked bought things when the office opened up and I was too fat for my clothes. Now that I've accepted my weight, I've bought stuff from boutiques that can hold me over for as long as I need. Washing up and putting the panic buys in the donation bag. I want to have three bags ready. BF said he'll take them to the car for me. MayMay I live in the city and my parking garage is six blocks away. It was too humid today to do unnecessary walking. I did walk to get mom's groceries and I walked to the pharmacy to get my rx. I stopped at my favorite little spot for a seltzer and it was fun just sitting in the city alone. BF was working.

I have one final laundry load to fold and put away and I'm ready for bed. I showered after getting home from mom's; the walk with the groceries was intense. Not too hot but plenty humid.

Thanks Lila!😃 I plan on posting more often.😁

Tackling the counter/bar (my most cluttered area, always, ever)!

I am going to do what I did for my bedroom and LIST what is on the bar. That helped me get rid of things because itemizing made me way more aware what is there. So, we have this bar counter long enough for like 2 barstools, a little wider than a kitchen counter. It's between the kitchen and dining room and ALWAYS is a reflection of my state of mind and emotions. It is terrible right now. I took photos and am going to list here what is on the bar (that I can see). Then I will go do something about it!

landline phone and charger/base
jar of dog treats
3 or 4 bags of dog treats, 2 bags of food samples
2 bags of cat treats
empty spray bottle
bird feeder someone gave me, that I want to hang
bird seed
container of dog food (we scoop from it to feed him)
change, pens, tiny parts of things
2 plants in small pots
one large empty pot, meant to replace a broken one outside
part of a dollhouse, to be glued back in
toys for Tot that have small pieces and can't go in the toybox
plant spray
oven cleaner
dog muzzle wipes (medicated)
leash, poop bags
rolls of packing tape
glue for book repair
2 cans of dusting spray
(omg, at this point I am like WHY - a lot of these things have a home they could be put in!)
mail for ex, son who doesn't live here anymore, and friend who got mail here a long time ago
box of kleenex, a towel I don't like that I'm giving to ex
Keurig, coffee pod spinning holder
reusable shopping bags and plastic bags
a candle my son gave me for my birthday
some kind of remote with one battery in it
food scale
junk mail, a flashlight, tab stickers for my planner
small shoulder bag I use when I walk the dogs
coffee tumbler, glass cleaner, kitchen cleaner, upholstery spot cleaner
clothes for Tot in case she has a potty accident
dog brushes, more upholstery spray or laundry spray
plastic ice bin and ice cube trays (no room in freezer right now)
little insulated bag to keep things cold
various papers and bits, lint roller, coasters

That's all I can see. There is stuff under those layers. Do you see how weird this space is? I need to clear it, and then find a system to KEEP it cleared.

What I WANT on the bar: phone/charger, food scale, keurig/kcup spinner, one jar of dog treats, box of kleenex. A plant or two. That is all!!

Tatoulia,

I hope to be in your situation in 5 or 10 years and still here helping others like you are doing. I really want a clean and uncluttered home, very much. Now that ex is on the way out, I can see the freedom ahead. I know I have my own issues, but it just has been so compounded by his hoard.

I have not cleaned or decluttered anything today yet.

Also, yes, I have so so many clothes even after I donated many boxes. And yet, I wear the same pair of jeans for most of the week and then switch to a pair that is slightly too baggy while I wash the regular ones. And I have a pair of sweeatpants just in case. I probably have 30 pairs of jeans ranging from size 10 to 22W. Tons of clothes from Medium up to 2XL. I hate having nothing to wear but so many clothes. That's what I get for gaining and losing the same 80 pounds 3 times. I've purged as much clothing as I am able (willing?) for now, unless things get worn out. I will surely get rid of things as they become too large (I am down about 20 pounds again).

My kitchen table is clear and clean (we ate dinner on it last night) but my counter/bar is like a giant dump site. It is terrible!!!! If I can get that under control, I will feel better if anyone stops over unannounced. It literally looks like someone just threw stuff there in piles.

hi MayMay! Nice to meet you. I am relatively new. Working on my clutter/hoard/mess and now getting out from under my newly-ex-dh's hoard as well. I hope to see you around more!

Omg. I'm glad my posts were so helpful for you.😃

MAYMAY! You stopped posting around the time I came on and your past posts were so helpful!

We haven't heard from Tillie, Roxie, LR, Diane, Dianne, Joan and others in a long time.

I finished my place in 2018 and have weekly house cleaners now. My life is free and easy. I have developed habits that I'd forgotten such as doing dishes every night and folding all laundry. I freely and automatically assess the items in my home. A true relief.

I seem to remember that you went in the business and from the sound of your post, you are going strong!

Yesterday I did a whole lot of nothing. I overslept til nearly noon. I had to see my brother for the first time in 4 years. I took the bus so he wouldn't think that I have a car and so that we won't fall into my running errands for him. It went well. I didn't recognize him. He's lost a ton of weight. His clothes were nice and they fit him. We talked for maybe ten minutes and that was that. Backstory: his license expired and it is impossible to get a new one easily. The earliest appointment he could get was one month after his birthday. So I took the bus to get his meds for him (hormones require ID). He met me and it was easy. No hugs or other stuff. Very casual. And the bus was easy.

Today I'm up pretty late too. I just started some laundry while I'm sipping my coffee. I have four loads to do. Sheets are in. I may launder my towels too before getting out for the day.

I am purging closet today. Shoes I will never wear again. The pandemic has changed my feet. I brought home a pair of heels from the office to donate. I have plenty of dress shoes I can still wear when going out on occasions it's getting rid of ones I used to wear frequently but I know in my heart I won't wear again. Hoping to make it to the car to at least get them out of the house. I think I have some clothes I can take a look at too.

Lila I am amazed at how many clothes you own! I keep my clothes to a minimum. The exception right now is I had a lovely wardrobe prepandemic and I'm keeping some of it (esp the three work dresses I bought in March 2020). But I do still have stuff I can look at with a critical eye. So my goal is to make up the bags and then get to the car. I don't actually need to take them to goodwill today; I only need to get them out of my house.

So I'm making a list of things to do. Will write more later.

Hi everybody! Let's see if I can bounce right back into this, I haven't posted on here in like 8 to 9 years.😕 today my boys (aka my roommates) and I are packing up and getting ready to head down to Tennessee for my first big hoarding cleanup in like 9 years.

Good work, Lila.

Another update, just for the support...

I moved almost all of the ex's stuff from the family room into his bedroom. I am going to start calling him ex instead of dh... sigh. It was so much stuff. Several totes full of papers, magazines, books, clothes, who knows what. I also cleared the dozens of dusty books, movies and CDs from the shelf in there. He always wanted to build more shelves and have all his books out. I could not handle even what he had out, because he never dusted it, ever. Cobwebs and dead bugs and dust. Now it is all in his room, in boxes and bags. I put all the empty boxes and bags in there too, for when he moves his stuff.

The only thing I did not move from the family room, is tools. He has like, 4 or 5 tool boxes and totes plus a couple boxes, all full of tools. I will need some, so I just left them there and will ask him to please leave me what he thinks I may need in working on the house. Hopefully he will not want to drag all those tools with him, and will leave me some useful items. In honesty, not worth a fight so if he takes everything, I at least have a hammer and screwdrivers in my bedroom.

I have family coming over for dinnerand I almost have the table cleared off. I think my life looks more hopeful now.

Thanks Tatoulia! Nice to see you posting as well. You're right... no way to know what he will do, but unlikely he will take it all. I probably should not worry about it for now. Just consolidate his stuff for him, and wait. Once things are official and he lets me know his intentions, we can go from there.

Today I got the rest of his things out of the master bathroom and put them in his bedroom.

I will double check that bathroom, the other bathroom, my bedroom, and the rest of the upstairs for anything that's his and put it in there. I'll also check the family room - I know there are things that belong to him in there, so will start moving them into his room also. First, though, I need to peek in the bins in his room to make sure there is nothing that belongs to me and the kids. I have a few bins of my own in there that I might move out to the family room to make sure they don't get accidentally taken. I mean, he has keys... he could just come when I'm not home and take what he thinks is his... although I doubt he would do that. He said he would let me know if he is coming by. He is a few hours away so it isn't like he can just pop in.

My other focus is this: my pastor from church knows what's going on, and a few friends are finding out. They may show up in the ocming week or two. One offered to come fix my stove. I would NOT want them in the house in its current state! So, I do want to get the main living area cleaned up soon. Looks like I have more space to put things downstairs now and sort later, so I may do that.

Thank you for all the support. I am finding out now how much of the hoarding is him, and how much is me.

SubC, this is actually very helpful, thank you!

Sadly, I have been a semi-hoarder myself, so what is ours in the garage would not fit in the house. However, my semi-hoarding was triggered in part by dh filling up any space I cleared. So when I would sell, donate, toss to make more room in the garage or other areas, he would immediately bring in more of his things and fill the space again. So I stopped moving anything out, in response. There was a lot of resentment there. So actually, there is probably a large truckload worth of my things in there that I don't really want, and will gladly donate after he is out of there. I still have fears if I donate and clear it NOW, he will show up and say he wants to use that cleared space to store all of his things. Once he is officially out and I am allowed to change the locks, all bets are off and I will be having a donating spree the likes of which this board has never seen! LOL

Anyway, rambling to clear my mind, it helps.

The garage is not cooled/heated so it gets extremely hot in there in summer. I can only move things into there if heat will not harm them. The storage room he has all piled to the ceiling has a/c. And his bedroom has a/c obviously. So I think I will take a spin on your idea and fill his bedroom top to bottom with his stuff from my bathroom, the office, the family room, the kitchen. That will prevent him from coming back to sleep in there, just in case, and it will get it out of my view.

Good thought on not giving him more of my mental space. It is definitely too late.

I will also try to peek in boxes and bins as I move things into his area, and if there are momentos teen might want, I can set them aside. I'll probably ask him if he would leave those for teen. He probably would, on some things.

I went into the garage for a bit, and started moving my things over to one side and making a path to his stacks. It is a double car garage, and half of it is piled with within a couple feet of the ceiling with his things. It got too hot by 10am so I had to stop. But I plan to peek in those boxes and re-stack as well, just so I know what he is taking. I tried to sort the boxes a decade ago. The ones I looked in were filled with old shirts and socks with holes in them, faded clothes that would never fit, from the 60s-70s, receipts from that time period, old light bulbs and forks, etc. There are a lot of books which I don't care about.

I am very glad this is getting resolved. I have a very small bit of anxiety that he will reappear and try to move back in and fight me to put him out. I will be trying to get legal aid this coming week to try and make things official.

Quick drive by. Lila I hope he takes everything. I understand your anxiety but frankly I hope he takes everything. We know he won't right? He will just start filling out the new place with stuff, leaving your place as storage. Breathe. You've got this. It's a shock and is scary and weird and awful and yet you will reap the benefits of the change. You will. It's gotten to the point of being unsustainable for you and your health. We are here.

So, I have a thought. I don't know a lot of the details or circumstances, so this may be way off base, but what if you went out to the garage and brought everything that belongs to you and the kids into the house. Then you just start filling the garage top to bottom with his stuff.

If you ran across something you thought your teen would want, you could set it aside and see if he asks for it.

As for papers and understanding, it sounds like it is too late for understanding to help. Might it be better just to let it go and not give him any more of your mental energy?

Again, I have a very limited window here, so if I'm way off, ignore me.

Thank you for taking the time to check in SubC, and break my row of posts. I too feel like I lost300 pounds of unhealthy weight as he left. And even more. In fact I thought of how many hundreds of pounds lighter my home will be once all his hoard is gone! I am in limbo now, able to move some things into his room from other areas of the house for him to take when he comes for his things, but unable to discard or do anything with his items until he has taken what he wants and, I assume, abandons the rest.

I imagine possible scenarios in my head. It helps me feel better:

1) he never comes back for anything, or just comes and takes a few things he can fit in his car. This is only a good scenario if I can get in writing that as of x date, I no longer have to hold onto his things.

2) he comes and takes a lot of things, moving them gradually into a place he chooses to live locally. I don't like this scenario because it drags out and keeps him around here.

3) he comes with a huge moving van and takes every scrap of his hoard. This one bothers me too, because I have envisioned a time when I would be able to sort through his junk, find some things for our teen to keep, mementos... maybe find a few valuable things to sell, some interesting old papers to tell me more about why he is the way he is, and the ultimate thrill of throwing out or donating the rest! If he takes it all, I will miss this experience, but really in the end it will be so much easier if he just does take it all, down to the last 1977 receipt for milk.

I think I will go now into the garage while it is cool enough and start separating anything of mine and my kids from his piles, so that he doesn't inadvertantly take something of ours.

Hi Lila! Good morning.

And a good morning to everyone else!

We often seem out of sinc here.

I am on vacation (everything that must be done is in the hands of the very competent farm sitter) so I may not check in much, but I am thinking of you.

I'm glad you can focus on clearing out and reclaiming your space. (I'm still sorry for whatever happened.)

When ❤️Dd left her abusive husband, she said she "lost 250lbs of unhealthy weight."

I'm going to be spending time with my extended family and resting and regrouping.

This morning we are going out to breakfast with Dh cousin.

post 3-

awwww mannnn, I kept coming back all day but no one is here posting! It's lonely talking to myself, but hopefully someone will be here tomorrow.

I decided to get all of dh's things out of the master bathroom so I can use the cabinets and drawers etc that were his. I got a couple bags and boxes and it is just ridiculous. I remember cleaning these cabinets out for him probably 10 years ago. I am not sorting this time, just tossing it all into boxes and bags and putting it in his room so he can take it when he gets the rest of his things. Into the box went receipts for milk and bread from 2012, old batteries, used dirty ziplock bags, old toothbrushes, hotel toiletries, 15 bars of soap, about 40 disposable razors, old cords, plugs, nails, screws, pens, random bits, rocks, a bag of his hair when he cut it and saved it (why?), old magazines, just tons of junk. Nothing he has used in 8+ years. I ran out of energy and have one shelf left, but then I will put it all into his room. Sometimes soon, I will clean the shelves and sort my own clutter and have space to put my things.

I am too tired to make my bed now, so am resting and then will try to get the sheets out of the dryer and gradually get my bed made as my energy allows. I have adhd today and really want to brush the dog now, but need to make the bed first so I don't get covered in dog hair and then get it all over the sheets when I get them from the dryer.

post 2-

I put my sheets in the wash. When I finish this post, I will move them to the dryer and put my blanket in the wash.

I have a confession. This last month was so stressful, that I did a lot of comfort behaviors that are harmful. Mainly, eating junk and spending money. Combined. I did not realize how bad it was. I got an alert that I had a low balance in the bank. I couldn't understand, since I had like $2k in there last time I looked! Where had it gone??

$800 mortgage
$500 car payment
A few other small bills, gas
and...
literally hundreds of dollars in food and drinks. And not even GOOD meals or groceries. Just crap! A trip to Sbux every day, ordering pizzas, stopping for fries or onion rings, ice cream, vegetarian sandwiches via fast food. Some frozen vegan meal plan I wanted to try for a month but it's not even tasty (still in the freezer, plan cancelled). Stopped and got lame things from quick fix restaurants. Now I have regained a couple pounds and lost hundreds of dollars. It is almost too much to face. I NEED that money for important things.

Lesson learned. I am done wasting money.

I caught up on all the posts, and now for dinner I REALLY want salmon and asparagus with squash biscuits and devilled eggs. Ha...

SubC, I admire your dedication to caring for our Earth, recycling, etc. All I recycle are the boxes that come (we can flatten them and turn them in to recycle) and food scraps go in the compost bin. I re-use jars and things sometimes, but for my own sanity a lot of the time things just get put in the trash. I feel bad about it but I just can't cope with that right now. In the future I will.

Thanks Road, I would love to chat irl sometime, probably in a couple of weeks. Is there a way for us to connect without posting identity on here? I have a weird paranoia that people in my life will find me on here and recognize me and know about the condition of my house.

Hi Tatoulia, CM, everyone. I see there are a lot of posts for me to catch up on... looks like some good content! I will read a bit here and there today til I am caught up.

My update: teen is home and ok so far. I have had a crazy week. DH left. I will probably go file next week, I don't know. He can't come back. I am in a bit of shock. All these years resenting the hoarding and I am about to be free of HIS hoarding and able to deal with my own issues only, without him re-hoarding any space I clear. He has to come and pick up his things sometime in the next month or two, so I have to leave his things alone. Although I will probably consolidate all his things in his room so he can grab them all easily. And half the garage is his plus a whole storage room. I don't know how much he will take. At some point I will have to put a deadline to get things out.

This morning as a sign of my own new freedom and independence, I got rid of about 20 egg cartons he has saved in the kitchen for at least ten years. They were full of dust and dead bugs. I have wanted to get rid of them for years but couldn't. Now they are gone. I also took the trash out.

Goals for today: wash my sheets, clear the kitchen table, brush my dog. A few other things.

I've been skimming posts - looks like still everyone's having a lot going on, some progress and some stresses. Lila, Road, SubC, Tatoulia, did I miss anyone - Becky if you're with us - I hope the things that are trying to your souls do get better.

Pray that the things trying my soul get better as well - right now a lot of it is in limbo, uncertain as to whether it'll turn out well or awful. Or what. It might turn out well, I'm trying to hold onto the hopeful possibilities.

Right now the thing I can do is get ready for the purchase of the new computer. The financial figuring process is going along, I have a friend good with that sort of thing helping me. She is traveling so it may take a little while but it'll get done. Then I can really start shopping.

On this computer, I've made a list of the Pictures directory which is in need of some revamping, and then I'll do the Documents one. It'll be easier to find stuff, and I will delete old crap. Sounds tedious but it is actually satisfying to my nerd self. And the promise of greater productivity is nice.

I wish Microsoft wouldn't force a person to use their directory structure of Pictures and Documents. I prefer to organize by project or topic, because a project/topic can have both documents and pictures. I guess it can be overridden with a registry edit, but I am not confident enough to do a registry edit.

I'm also, in my change-phobic way, a bit leery of Windows 11...

Not much else to tell. Hot weather. I go swimming sometimes.

Hi all,

Rr: clothes, I actually don't want any more pieces of clothing. The amount I'm storing now is perfect. But I just need to finish laundry so I can pick and choose the best things and then get rid of the surplus. And I still need to replace some of the jeans and shorts as they are mostly worn out. That will be a longer process as I am trying not to spend money right now. I am still Actively trying to lose weight too. I am down 20# Since April but clothes Still seem to be fitting the same. Kind of weird. The H kept rolling with laundry so I am still standing by.

I was pretty grumpy today (feeling bad physically and just annoyed with the H). The H ended up Doing a lot of cleaning, cooking dinner and putting my son to bed. Feeling a little better now although the tinnitus situation is starting to really pile up psychologically. Worse at night. I freaked out the other night processing that I might not ever "hear" silence again and that was too much to deal with. I think I may have some hearing loss in my right ear and it also hurts sometimes when the decibel level gets beyond a certain point. Anyway, so adding this to the list of health categories that need attention.

Clutter wise, I guess my progress today was financial. The whole vacay situation has been so frustrating with the H, I realized I need to start a separate vacay fund savings account. I downloaded Truebill and it actually had more features than I thought it would. So I shared it with the H and he set up the accounts on it and it self generated a bunch of data on where the $ patterns are and identified a couple subscriptions I wasn't aware of (that I started) so that was pretty cool. Also set up a passive savings thing for vacay. Oh, and all the $ the H has spent recently on household stuff, and dining out and vacay stuff from his recent trip came bubbling up and that made me chuckle because I am the only one who ever spends any money. I think it's a positive thing because I really don't have a handle on the finances and this will help me make better decisions for how I want to live. And if it could help me from getting blamed for everything that would be great too. So due to the delay in booking things because we argued a week or two ago, we have a lot less options and the nicer, cheaper places are all gone. Hotels and air bnbs have really jumped up in price I think. Now I have a clearer idea of how much $ we have to work with so I think we can only afford a week. I actually started looking at camping I was that desperate! But then I remembered my bladder, the bugs, the snoring, etc.etc. Oh, and I found the place we stayed at a few years ago. I didn't think they were renting it anymore but they were and it was actually available for part of the time we needed. It's the ground floor of a cute little farmhouse. My son will have his own room and we will bring some safety things to make sure he doesn't escape. Good location in between where my nephew lives and the towns we want to visit. Now to figure out a couple other legs.

I did some watering and cleaned off the driveway again. The puppy likes to drink out of the hose. Cute. Also just found a couple local "movie night in the park" events as well as some free live music stuff to take my son to so that's good.

Hi guys.

I was having such a good day!

The only dirty laundry in the house is on our bodies and a couple of dish towels. All the beds have clean sheets and the bathrooms have clean towels. The dishwasher is empty and waiting for the dinner dishes, my counter is slightly improved, and aside from the dinner dishes, the kitchen is clean. I even cleaned out the fridge.

I picked everything that needed to be picked in the garden.

The farm sitter comes tomorrow, and I was feeling really good about how I have everything nice for her. (She doesn't go in my scullery, the shop barn, my room, or my basement, also her dad is a hoarder, so her expectations are low.)

And then my mom called. My brother's oldest daughter has covid. She is living at home this summer (from college) and so his entire family will not be joining us on this long planned and much anticipated vacation.

And now I am sad.

So Road, what happened with the clothes?

I got my tomatoes tied up and my rooster moved and everything picked for the day. I finished the straw mulch too.

The last onions are racked and drying. I made deviled eggs. I bought plenty of feed for the farm sitter, went to the bank, and exchanged my library books.

Then Dh finally got the heavy piece of equipment out of the back of the truck and said "why don't you go get hay now, so it will be off your plate." So the hay us racked in the barn and I am wiped out! I definitely won't be getting to bed by 9:30 since it's already nine and I just finished dinner. But I'm glad it's done.

I'll be dragging my butt out to do chores now, and then shower and bed.

How is everybody? Lila? Becky? CM?

Quick visit because I only have an hour before it gets to hit to finish my outside work.

I am very excited about road's laundry! Like - I want to drive over there and help excited - lol!

I don't entirely understand the storage description, but it sounds like you have empty space for those new loads.

Hopefully the wall of shoes will be easy - never wear = donate?

Tatoulia, someday I will take public transportation. There is a senior citizen bus that collects people out here and takes them to the grocery store or library and I think a couple of other stops - you just have to call to get on the schedule. So, when I am over 65 I can ride the bus. - lol!

Ok, gotta go tie up the tomatoes.

Hi everyone,

Found the swiffer and swept out my floor. Stole a laundry basket from my son and got all the laundry out of the hall before my husband complained about it. Yay. I think he will be done with his laundry today so I'm going back in (twice in one week). Now that I have a lot of clean clothes put away where they belong I am motivated to push through the stragglers... the storage space I want to allow for clothing is basically at capacity So that means I can now visualize the volume of what I need to get rid of. And it's a lot! I would say maybe 4-5 loads of laundry worth! Or 7. I think the space I'm alloting is reasonable and I feel good about it. It's a smaller space than most Americans would have I'm quite sure. Especially overweight Americans whose clothes take up twice the space of a small person.

Right now here's the layout...
Small dresser (bottom three drawers)
- undies (lots) and bras (not enough and they all suck)
- socks (still too many)
- tee shirts

Small closet (1924 house)
- 1x2' open bin of jeans
- 1x2' open bin of shorts
- 1x2' open bin on shelf available.
- half of the hanging rod is blouses
- other half is empty
- shelf is empty
- on one Wall is a shoe organizer with shoes I never wear.
- on the floor is a small 2 drawer thing that holds the open bins.
- top drawer is pajama bottoms
- bottom drawer is odd socks

What's left?
- sweaters? Where are you?
- 2-3 loads of laundry just taken off the floor
- 1 load on bed?
- 3-4 loads in basement (still)
- assorted coats, jackets, shoes, etc. in downstairs closet and on porch.

I've claimed I can take or leave clothes so let's see if that's true as I face down my challenge... (dramatic drumming)

I've been up since 3:30 and am nodding off now so I better run.

Hello ladies! I very much enjoyed the interaction between Road and SubC. So wonderful to read the discussion and I could feel the kindness in everyone's words and questions. So pleasant and very informative.

SubC has helped me with cutting down on single use plastics. I'm not entirely where I want to be. I do have recycling pickup at my house twice a week. It is provided by the city.

I use laundry sheets. The plastic containers of laundry soap offend me. I use cloth napkins instead of paper, and I buy them used so there's even more of a win there. I buy no new furniture. None. I get it at consignment shops or auctions or stuff I find on the street. The exceptions are my mattresses, and my couches. My couches are old but in excellent condition. They were purchased before everything was made in China. One of my couches I plan to recover. The cost is the same as a new couch. I do not care. I like my expensive well-made couch. So those are ways I conserve. There are others, but those are my biggies. I try to purchase things that are not made in China. No slam on China at all. It is a slam on the businesses that want cheap stuff with cheap materials with cheap labor. Abusing the workers and the planet. Just going to a Home Goods makes my skin crawl. All that sh£t in one place. Disposable junk.
Speaking of cars and driving (SubC mentioned the car exhaust of driving to get things she can grow herself), I read an interesting quote a developed country is not a place where poor people have cars but where rich people use public transportation. I liked that. Obviously that applies to a city dweller such as myself.

Well I have a big day tmr. So goodnight dear friends. I am not by any means caught up on posts. Thanks for being here, everyone. These friendships are gold. And thank you for being understanding and forgiving on my rant. It helped.

The internet wasn't working here most of tge day.

I was hoping now that it's back someone would gave been by.

I lost my momentum.

Keeping up ok, but no forward progress. The goats escaped three times today. I did groom the bunnies. They were overdue and I was afraid they would get too hot while we were gone. Bunny grooming is basically therapy.

Boy bunny has a hilarious shedding pattern - he basically has pink skin and fuzz from his lower ribs around his tummy except for a strip right down the center of his belly. If you visualize a roller mop with the floor side up - his fur is like that - wide poof on the top, skinny strip on the bottom. Fuzzy legs, head, and butt.

Yay floor!

Road, I do sometimes put things in my trash bag if they are too hard to clean, but if I can rinse three things a minute - I can save myself 15 minutes of work (because the bagging and transporting have to happen no matter what) by bagging up 45 things - that is a lot of bags! And then they have to go very soon or I will get bugs - so it adds a thing I have to remember or a trip I have to make - not worth the 15 minutes. You have trash service. That is different.

I did not rinse an extra thing for each item, but I did rinse more than I used today.

The washing machine is running. The dishwasher is running fir the 3rd time. We had salad for dinner. So did the chickens. My legs are tired.

I have two rounds of mozzarella, one of farm cheese, half a pint of ricotta, a dozen hardboiled eggs, carrots and cucumbers from the garden ready to snack on, and fruit soaking for bread for breakfast tomorrow.

Also four cookie sheets and two small loaf pans yet to wash.

I discovered that I left my tea ball in the teapot full of used tea leaves. The ball is moldy and corroded. Dh said to buy a new one. Sigh.

Hey subc,

No you didn't hurt my feelings.
In fact, I kind of expected you would respond that way. I am not questioning your philosophy or your values. I admire them. But what are we all here for? Because our habits (or values or executive functioning) have caused us to buy or save too many things to manage to our own satisfaction. We have certain things in common and in other ways our contributing factors are different. I am happy to hear insight and even take advice from this group because I know you all understand. I was just suggesting a clean slate might be helpful. And I was offering you a rationalization that you of all people can afford to "waste" a week's worth of not rinsing things out perfectly because 99% of the time you are ultra responsible. But if not rinsing things out or disposing of it properly causes anxiety, then that's another issue. I have the same concerns although I am I guess at a more beginner level of conservation and have made the call that I can't factor "waste" *how perfectly* I'm getting rid of things into my de-hoarding or I will never get out from under it. Trying to find just the right way to dispose of things is part of how I got into this situation to begin with. I guess I'm suggesting that this is a standard that is not serving you in the short term. But obviously, we all have to make these judgement calls for ourselves. I hope when I get to a certain point with clearing things out I can get the momentum rolling enough to start incorporating some of the conservation tips I've learned from you. My feelings aren't hurt and I hope yours aren't either. As I think you know I have a lot of affection for everyone in here and I appreciate your friendship.

Good news on this end,
I was able to get the last of the clothes off the floor, hang up the dressy shirts, put some more jeans and shorts away, and get the books off the bed. I'd say I have about half a kitchen garbage bag worth of garbage in here. Plastic hangers the puppy chewed up to the point where they are broken or no longer usable, and random trash that just filtered down to the floor. I would have swept the floor but I lost track of the swiffer. Maybe my son stole it back. I have a set of clean sheets ready to go but having to move things off the bed is holding me up. Maybe tomorrow I will try to get that done and do my nightstand. One thing is for sure. The prospect of getting back to so many square feet of bare floor space to defend is not nearly as daunting now that the mess is more superficial.

Tonight we made salmon and asparagus and a cold tomato salad with cucumbers and fresh basil. Yum.

Now I'm afraid I communicated badly and hurt road's feelings when she was trying to help me.

4th post - these might work better backward.

Here is (I think) a good comparison.

If I took a day (it might take more than a day) to clear out the things, It would be like you taking a day to get rid of all the dirty laundry. You could actually put your dirty clothes in a trash can and somebody would take them away - but then you would need new clothes (I would still need food) you could wash and dry and fold and put away everything - but it would still be in your house. (Like my recycling and garbage) and more dirty laundry would happen tomorrow (like my garden, and the milk, and the eggs, and Dh empty chip bags..)

And maybe you couldn't do it all in a day (I couldn't do it all in a day) and you would miss out on other things and stuff would get worse around you.

But maybe the idea of taking whatever time it would take and getting every single piece of clothing clean and put away and starting with a clean slate makes you feel so good it is worth prioritizing over all the other things - great! Do it!

But it doesn't for me. Because tomorrow there would be another chip bag on the counter, and I still wouldn't want to rinse it out, and I would be angry because "I just cleaned that counter!"

So I am trying to prioritize the things that matter to me and use the rest of my time to catch up little by little instead of say, reading the news, or watching videos (which I do when I'm tired, so sleep is important) or whatever bad choices I've been making. It's about learning to just take the 18 seconds (or 4 for the drink can) and move on.

Yesterday when I washed the feed bags I also washed the baby pool, and now it is easy to deal with the recycling because it has neat, clearly labelled places to go, and I gave a baby pool I can set out for Bean to splash in while I talk to him and weed the herb garden and maybe wash other stuff in the yard. streamlining, removing barriers, choosing things that pay dividends...

Third post

Your challenge doesn't really work for me because you are envisioning a different place and value system. that is ok, but let me explain:

No one comes to my house (end of driveway) and makes trash "go away" I personally don't believe there is such a place as "away" Away from what? From me? Why am I the center of the universe?

Things that have no further use to anyone have to be loaded in my car or truck and driven 45 minutes to be left in a big dumpster, or taken to work or the gas station or the grocery store with me and put in a trash can.

Things that need to be recycled have a similar trip. Donations are only 30 minutes.

I just rinsed out one of Dh empty chip bags. It took 18 seconds. I timed it. It still has to be put somewhere and then removed from the house by me, but now it can sit indefinitely without attracting bugs and it will be recycled, so I feel less stressed.

I make cheese because I want cheese. I am allergic to cows milk. I don't actually know anywhere that I can buy goat mozzarella. I can get goat cheddar near work. It is expensive, so I don't buy very much of it, but also cheddar is a lot more work, so I don't make cheddar. I also enjoy making cheese. I do not enjoy cleaning up the house. I would rather have cheese in a messy house than no cheese in a clean house. I realize this is very specific.

I grow food because I want fresh, healthy, organic food. I pick through the lettuce because the alternative is feeding the lettuce to the chickens and not having lettuce, or driving a significant distance and spending more money on lettuce somebody else grew and trucked from somewhere. I don't mind washing lettuce. I dislike driving. Lettuce isn't worth the exhaust pollution, but it is worth a few minutes of my time - again lettuce more valuable to me than a floor that has been swept recently.

I am working on it.

More to say, cheese is ready to knead.

I hope your tintinitus is better.

I think cleaning off the floor is enough for one day. You will get out from under the laundry! I recommend making sure all your jeans are clean and you know what you gave before buying more.

That renfest is sort of within driving distance of my son. It sounds like it would be fun to go some time.

Squash biscuits:
2.5c flour
T baking powder
1/2tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 stick butter
3/4c milk
1c mashed winter (butternut) squash
Combine dry ingredients
Cut in butter
Combine squash and milk and add to dry
Bake at 350 for however long it takes based on the size of your drop biscuits.

I think you could leave the salt out. Dh thinks not.

Bean loves them.

This will be many posts because I am making cheese.

Oh, re ren fest, ours is the Bristol ren faire. On the Illinois,Wisconsin border. I've never been to any others but this one is huge. I think this is only the 3rd time in my life I've been to it,,, but honestly, I'd like to go more.

Hey sub c,

He has summer school in the mornings, 4 days a week for 4 weeks. It's not a lot but we will take whatever we can get...

Tell me all about these squash biscuits. I am intrigued!

I just brought up the last of the laundry from yesterday. A few more pairs of pants and the dress shirts. I don't even have a dress, sub c. I bought a few sundress type things (cheap) a few years ago but I couldn't come to terms with them and I think I dip hated them, *DONATED 🙄

Ok, whT *is* on my floor, let's take a look.

Ok that was a useful exercise. Another two loads of laundry... assorted blankets, sheets, tee shirts, jammies, shirts, socks, undies... **especially the underwear my son throws at my head as a joke. 1/2of the stuff that was on the floor was clean but I didn't finish putting it away last time and it fell on the floor and we had a few fleas in between and so now I need to rewash everything anyway. Ugh, will I ever get out from under ? Yes I will. Aaaaaand there's still a huge pile on my bed.

I just made some cookies. I made a third batch of pecan sandies without salt. My thinking is if I bake without salt I can sprinkle salt on top and still come out ahead. Pretty sure this is faulty logic. I worked out the calories and they are 170Isn calories for a cookie and a half (2" rounds) . Not worth it! Waahhh Made some dishes and also cleared out the cabinet a little.

I have tinnitus and it's getting worse and worse. I'm trying all the recommended remedies but not having any luck. Trying not to panic.

The puppy has a severe chewingissue. I think I'm going to ask them to look at her teeth and see if something is wrong. It's crazy. Nothing Is safe.

Well, I was aiming for clearing the nightstand, but now I have this terrific headache and I did also clear the floor so that's it for now.

Hey s ubc, you take on so many projects most people would never even dream to do - I know you have daily chores, but how would it be if you approached projects and garbage more like a typical person for a week or a day and then went back to it once your slate was cleared a little. You would still end up in about the same place, but you would spend the time in between now and then in a more decluttered space... You are good at challenging me. Now I challenge you. Here's my "for instance". I know you have certain chores you have to do. So you will do those like normal. But for the other chores you put them on hold a day, a week, whatever you think you can do. I'm talking about the lettuce that's about to go bad, I'm talking the cheese, I'm talking the perfection in recycling... and while everything is on hold, you throw stuff away as if you were going to your friends house to help them clear their space. It's not your stuff, it's not your responsibility, you get a free pass on everything. And you just totally clear the scullery, or whatever Space causes the most angst. Hold your breath, look away, pretend you are someone else, and the stuff belongs to them... whatever you have to do. Then when the week or day is up, you resume your life as normal, with a fresh start and no backlog. What do you think? Does it fill you with anxiety reading this? 🤔☺️ I tease.

I used to think of something like this when we were young and didn't have any money. I used to think wouldn't it be nice if when you were young you could just start out with some dough to travel,and a house up front and enjoy it all the years you were young instead of having to save up for it? And then by the time you get to use it, you're old and people have started dying, etc. I mean I guess in effect a mortgage is like that - but I mean you can pay for things now or later. I don't think this analogy is working out. 😂

But if we purge up front we are better equipped to deal with other challenges moving forward because we are starting from a clean slate. The alternative is to live inside the mess with clutter surrounding us and that's not an environment where we can think straight.

Thoughts?

Hi all!
Hi road! Your kid is in school in July?

I love the renfest! What state was yours in if you don't mind answering?

Good job on the laundry! You sound like you are making good progress. I am a jeans and t-shirt girl too, so I don't think 15 is too many, but what are all those other clothes? I don't think you need dress pants if you own a skirt or a dress that is not too fancy. But that's just me - I do not have a "dress pants" figure.

On your fridge - maybe you should challenge yourself to it buy any food. Look through the fridge and plan three days of meals. If you need one or two things to make that happen, go to the store and buy JUST THOSE - but try to get by with what you have. Then plan three more days. you may end up having to stop at the store two or three times during the week, but it will save you money and food waste.

I used to have a website where you could type in the thing(s) that needed to be used up, and they would give you recipe ideas with as few additional ingredients as possible.

My kitchen day is going pretty well. I started with baking - I baked two small butternut squash, and let them cool while I baked whey bread. Then I combined the new squash with the squash in the fridge and made two double batches of squash biscuits. I have been having trouble getting my biscuits to cook properly - they don't want to brown, but I think it's because I went from 450 (bread) to 350 (biscuits) on the oven and it was trying to cool itself for part if the baking time. (Note to self: start with lower temps and move up) anyway, the last two tests are in now.

Things that needed to be used up: squash, milk, whey
Things we will eat or I will freeze for later: bread, biscuits

I found some grapes in the fridge that were getting edgy and took them to Dh as a snack (he's working from home) I don't think I bought them, I think ge did. He likes grapes, but he won't eat tgem unless they are washed and ready to go. Apparently washing his own grapes and discarding any that are mushy is too hard for him.

I'm giving myself a short break before switching over to cheese. The dishwasher is running. I put the empty flour bag straight in the recycling.

I need to make some progress with eggs today too. And refill the lettuce spinner - the lettuce I bagged up in June is approaching salvage stage. Lettuce is another thing Dh likes but won't wash.

Hi everyone,

My iPad is resting on my puppy while she sleeps so we will see how long this lasts before these. Little tap taps wake her up. I am wisely composing in email which is much more forgiving of disruption than the bulletin board windows... I am not a dumb person but I am a slow learner. Well, the puppy stretched so now I am typing on a teetering iPad perched on my leg. I wonder if the attitude of the keyboard influences the flavor of the writing like the sea air affects a fine whisky. Boy I am full of it today.

As usual, much to say about recent posts. Sub c, I like your idea of a "daily something" Challenge. I'm in and if anyone else wants to join, jump in. I know we are all basically here to do that but the focus Of a challenge does help motivate me. More on this later...

Tatoulia, I appreciate your sharing even though I know you don't like to be in that frame of mind while posting, but it reminds me of my situation with my dad to some degree. Although your run arounds with Your mom are more frequent whereas mine are more weekly with the occasional trauma thrown in. Subc's response had me laughing,especially the last line. There's that simple rule (which I suck at) about just listen unless someone asks for advice. Assume people are just venting until they say, "what do you think I should do?" There are people (like me) Who are driven by problem solving (although not necessarily our own problems) and we tend to come into every situation with our ears bent toward that perspective. So when someone says "I can't xyz" we hear "how can I xyz" which is almost never how it's meant. Maybe we are energized by it and subconsciously even create more chaos inventing problems so we can get a charge out of solving them. I don't know if she's like that but sounded like she might be. And On top of all that, your friend sure wasn't picking up on your cues to shut down the ever broadening to do list. I don't even know what your look like but I can kind of picture your expression as she kept Cheerfully committing you to more and more - totally oblivious (?) Sounds like it was super unpleasant living through it. You made the most out of it with your retelling. So, you gonna see her again next week I imagine? Lol

Lila, I feel for your situation all the way around and am relieved to hear you made that appointment. Any one of those things on the list merits making that call - but all of it at once. It's just too much sometimes. My marital situation is very stressful and unhealthy most of the time and there have been times I've regretted not taking more concrete steps to finally be done with it. Sending you positive and supportive thoughts that you will be able to get through the next few months with as little stress as possible, and that you will have some clarity about how to proceed. If you ever wanna chat IRL, just let me know. 💕💕💕

Aside from my puppy, the other post eating culprit around here is not noticing the "low power" warnings on my screen. I just caught it at 1%. I do the same on my phone. It's so annoying!

Well, as for me, I got a ton of laundry done, including washing, drying (yes, some rewatching as usual - grrr) hauling, folding, and** putting away. Somehow my floor is still covered in clothing and stuff, but my drawers are full. There are piles of folded undies, 15-20 clean tee shirts (I am a jeans and tee shirt person). All. Of those fit at least although some are kind of worn looking and most of them are nothing special. The new storage things I bought for my closet are working well. I have shorts in one, jeans in another, and one is empty. I bolstered my jammie pants department this past year and now have a drawer full. I have been working my way through Replacing my jeans trying to get rid of everything with holes in the seat. I really pushed it way too far this time. Lucky I didn't have a blow out. Lol. I still need to buy a few more pairs of jeans, more bras, and a bunch of camisoles to wear under things. I am still a little spotty in the dress shirt department, but if I can ever find the stuff that's missing I should be in good shape. I do have a pair of black flats that at least fit that will get me through a dinner date with a friend or a funeral. I guess I should have at least one pair of dress pants also. If you could see my Pinterest board on clothing and fashion vs. how I actually dress you could not reconcile the two.

I made one of my staples Thai chicken lettuce wraps Last night. I am glad I have figured out a way to make it without killing myself with sodium. It was kind of a clean out the veggie bin situation so I actually cleaned out the veggie bin. I waste SOOOO much. Tons of produce and the fridge is still jam packed 99% of the time. I had two bags of baby carrots and two bags of English cucumbers going. I tossed a package of mushrooms, a whole head of cauliflower, rescued some broccoli florets just in the nick of time, and tossed a few ziplocks with hard to identify herbs and mixed greens... so the top drawer is still half full of half good, half bad food, but the bottom drawer is cleaned out and ready to roll veggies. the rest of the fridge is still a nightmare. I actually loaded the dishwasher and ran it - whaaaat. And the counter is cleared, and washed and dried. Go me.

Friday our nephew was with us most of the day which was fun, and yesterday we went with my brother to the ren faire. We were all limited on time due to doggies and physical limitations but we were able to stay for 3/4 hours and had a great time. The place is absolutely ginormous so I'd say we only hit half of it. We saw my brothers best friend who plays a role there and he gave my son the royal treatment. There were so many things I wanted to eat but alas, I am reformed and only ate half a veggie calzone and drank as much water as I could given the limitations on finding free water sources there. They had a Mediterranean place which would have been better but I couldn't find it. With my son, someone always has to be kind of towing him along so the pace is different. He really enjoyed the sights and the performances our friend recommended. There was one unnecessary redundant loop we took because the H didn't trust my sense of direction. (Never question my sense of direction, man!) He was wrong and I was right but I limped along dragging my son behind me to avoid a fight. If he ever realized his error he didn't own up to it. And I was not the bigger man because I just told you all about it. Haha. But the H graciously drove both ways, my bro paid us back for the tickets, my son was a real trooper, and we all had a great time. As my brothers friend pointed out - the atmosphere is so lovely ,sunny day, bright blue sky, under a canopy of old oaks, Crowds of people laughing Over here, and music over there... really no one on their smart phone. Honestly, it was probably the most people in one place with the fewest visible phones in I don't know how long. Really great time.

Alrighty, I am off to get the kid ready for school.

Today I am going to try to fIgure out a little plan for this challenge.

Everyone have a great day! Lila, hanginthere siestas. Let me try that again. Hang in there, Sistah!

Oh Tatoulia, you are too nice. But also, I could be your friend - I can see me hearing my friend give a problem tgat keeps her from doing something, and then I try to find a solution to the problem.

I am more direct. "Unfortunately driving mom all the way out there is just too time consuming and difficult for make up, which she hasn't worn in years. I spend as much time with her as I can, but we focus on things that are less exhausting and more rewarding. I'm sure she'd love it if you wanted to take her though."

I have rinsed out all the empty food packaging from today so it can be recycled. And for each thing, I have rinsed a second previously waiting thing.

I have also washed the molasses off of ten empty feed bags and they are hanging on the line. When they are dry, I will take them down to the basement, label them with permanent marker, and set them in a row as my new "recycling center" (actually, I don't think I will need all ten, so I will fold some up for replacements, but the clothes line holds ten and there were more than ten in the barn.)

I ran the dishwasher and two loads of laundry.

I put off the straw again.

I had planned to have a kitchen day today, but Dh made plans for dinner out with friends and I knew I would end up rushed and leaving a mess, so I just worked on bits and pieces today.

Kitchen day tomorrow. It will be too hot to work outside past early morning.

Hi everyone. Very nice day out. I met with one of my more intense friends yesterday and we ended up spending time with mom and then the three of us went for lunch. She is one of the smartest people I know (in the top two) and my mother had a great time. I was worn out. It ended up taking what I had pictured to be an 1-1/2 get together to an all afternoon affair. I get together with this friend infrequently because of the intensity she brings to a situation. Not dramatic. Just intense.

So I'm a bit put off by my mothers frequent demands today because honest to God, I had no intention of her joining us for lunch (friend invited her) and if I'd known she was inviting mom, I wouldn't have had us visiting at mom's for well over an hour. And everything mom said she wanted my friend found a way for her to do, which costs me money and time. So mom said she wanted makeup (she hasn't worn any in decades) and so friend explained we could go to a particular mall. Well I'm not going to put mom's wheelchair into my car and drive her 45 minutes out of the city to go to a mall and gave her makeup done do then I can spend $100 on makeup she will not wear. And so I said I didn't like driving there and I have vision problems so now friend is asking pointed questions and offering solutions to vision. I mention how crummy my car is so she tells me have I considered an SUV. I mention I don't want car payments, and she comes up with a way for me to save on my taxes. BUT FEAR NOT friend has two different ways that mom and I can take the subway for makeup including my first interviewing the makeup artists ahead of time and after I've chosen the proper one, I can set an appt for 10 AM and then getting to the appointment at 930 AM, etc. etc. thanks. Glad you were here to spend my time and money. She also suggested maybe my BF would like to do this with Mom and me. As it is, my mother has me buying all sorts of sh#t for sewing that she will never, ever do. Never. Ever. Not enough eyesight. And yet I have to buy the sewing stuff for her and then she says it was stolen so I have to go over at night to prove it wasn't stolen and then I get a lecture about how I never believe her.

I'm sorry. I'm really resentful about yesterday. Not what I wanted. Whole day was screwed up and today my mother is all over me with what I need to do for her today.

So I spent 4-1/2 hours, treating people to lunch, and having my mother call me when i got home to see if I was going groceries for her.

Since I seem to hate everyone, I think I should make myself something to eat. I am sorry to come on here so aggravated.

Lila, I am deeply sorry about your Dh.

I hope that you can find some in person support.

So, one of my Achilles heels is food packaging.

I would like to say that I will wash all the empty food packaging each day, but some days we have food packaging because I am exhausted and out of time. So my challenge is to process more food packaging than we create every day that I can until I am caught up, and to finish off all the new stuff for the week by the end of the week.

Today I did wash all the newly emptied packaging. I also used two saved pizza boxes for mulching, and rinsed out three drink cans that had been sitting on the counter (Dh does not rinse drink cans. I tend to leave cans with a tablespoon of soda sitting in my car console until the soda becomes syrup.

I had two goals for today - to completely weed/mulch one 20x30 foot section of my garden, and to get all the picked beans into the dehydrator. The beans have been blanched and are cooling. I will finish them. But I quit a few loads of straw short on the garden. I was tired. I had already worked on it 5 hours. (The weeds got very bad during camp)

The house did not get worse today except laundry because we were outside, and I ran the dishwasher.

haha Road, my dog is also a post-deleter! He is big but he will walk up and toss his ball on the keyboard, or take his toy and literally click or scroll my mouse if it is not in my hand. Sooo annoying! I guess they want our attention. I also think dogs tend to make a home smelly and I am fighting it too. I have an old dog who sheds clumps and occasionally pukes, and the big puppy who accidentally pees on his own legs... ugh. I try to keep them off furniture but no luck. I need to wash them and vacuum etc.

SubC, I have done a news fast before as well. Sometimes, the news plus real life gets to be too much.

Becky, sounds like you are getting things done too. I hope your relationship stuff works out and you find an emotionally healthy friend to date.

CM, interestingly, deadlines are the thing that make me get stuff done. I procrastinate terribly but then if something has to be done by x date, I get up and rush to do it. Is it stressful? Yes. Does it give me anxiety? Yep. But it moves me. But I don't like it. And giving myself deadlines doesn't work... or my house would be clutter free!

Tatoulia, how inspiring. It sounds like routine decluttering/donating small amounts is a lifestyle for you now. That is awesome!

My stress level is nearing unbearable. A good friend/mentor asked me last week if I have a counselor I can see, because they see my stress levels being too much. The health issues and dx, teen's destruction and being inpatient, house needing repairs I can't afford, several friends died last month, car broke down, and now the dh has done something that may result in us parting ways. That in itself is terrifying, but add that he may resist and I have to take action, and I have been sick to my stomach over it. I really have to lower my stress or I will not be able to function. So I made an appt with a counselor I have not seen in over a year, for next week, and I am looking at paperwork to file, and applied for legal aid. I a emotionally exhausted. Pray that things come out the best way for our family.