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Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : What Are You Doing Today
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What Are You Doing Today
   

Subclinical
Posted: 13 August 2022 - 09:38 AM
More thoughts -

First an accomplishment - my dressing table now has nothing on it but the framed pictures I choose to have there. This leaves the dresser - which is a large drift of mostly tiny items.

Ok, Dd2 is coming home today to have a combined b-day/going away party bonfire with her childhood friends tonight.

Dd1 called and is planning to come over later in the afternoon with Bean and probably sil to see her.

It's a nice day, so off to the garden I go.
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Subclinical
Posted: 13 August 2022 - 07:00 AM
Good morning!

Tatoulia, thanks for keeping the show going yesterday.

CM, I hope I didn't hurt your feelings. I do think your warehouse center ideas sound great, but I've also reached a point where I realize something just has to happen now, and you really can build on a small pivot point. The answer to "I don't know where to start" really is "anywhere. Just start."

I worked in the garden yesterday and put four quarts of kohlrabi up in the freezer. We also had kohlrabi for dinner Thursday night - and carrot cake muffins (cupcakes!). I cut the sugar in the muffins by 1/4 and I think they are still too sweet. Dh put cream cheese frosting on his. My refrigerators are exploding right now. So many yummy vegetables, so little time.

While I was chopping kohlrabi yesterday I watched YouTube videos. I found a really interesting one on what she called the "chaotic creative brain". It made so much sense to me - my mind works the way she was describing. I have a super hard time with schedules and routines and lists. I find a new system, get really excited about it, and then quickly lose my motivation and stop using it. She said "if you want a chaotic creative to quit something, put it on a schedule and tell them they have to do it for 15 minutes a day." I don't respond to artificial deadlines. If I'm going to do a thing or stick with a thing, I have to be either super excited about it or genuinely almost out of time. And everything else will be sacrificed to that thing. I need to be exposed to something new for a while before I become interested.

I just kept thinking "yes. Yes. Yes.."

So, like right now, I'm tired of cleaning up after myself. I don't want to do it anymore. It was working great, but it takes too much energy and involves a routine and artificial deadlines. I didn't get excited about the cleaning up, I got excited about the system. And now I am tired of the system and ready to move on. Sometimes that happens in days, sometimes weeks, my interests and motivation can be cyclical.

Right now all I want to do is garden and preserve food. And that gets interrupted and I feel grumpy. I don't want school to start because I'm in garden mode. But making myself go into my classroom and set up gets me excited about my classes..

It's why I always say "I just need a week to.." Doing things in little bits is hard.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 11 August 2022 - 10:57 PM
Hello everyone. SubC The tortillas sound delicious. Everything you cook and make fascinates me. You are amazing.

I'm sorry that both SubC and CM have upsetting news. Shout out to MayMay, Road, Tess, everyone!

I am getting rid of more stuff. Some of my decisions are bad ones but I'm doing it. Allow me to explain: I have many new bras that are too small due to extreme covid weight. I could keep them, but they are mocking me. I haven't given up the idea of losing weight, but I don't need things in my house that are making me feel bad.

Before August 1 (and the start of a no spend month), I bought a new clothes hamper. I had liked it for a while but hard to justify the cost. It was down by $30 (and still priced outrageously high) and I didn't need it except that the one I have in my bedroom no longer goes with my decor. So I put donation things in the old and took it to my car. I'm happier with the new one. The old one went with my decor at the time but I've since recovered the chair and changed up what I was using in the bathroom so it didn't make any sense.

No spend August is going great. I'm in favor of it.

My house is feeling much cleaner. I'm getting rid of things and it's helpful. I'm also making sure that when I leave a room, I take whatever doesn't belong in it out. So if I'm leaving to go to rest room, I take my coffee cup and put it in the dishwasher. Just taking things with me is helping a lot.

The effects of having cleaners once a week is really helping me. It's just a luxury. And mom's place is so clean right now. So easy to be in it.
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Subclinical
Posted: 11 August 2022 - 01:21 PM
CM,

Your warehouse sounds amazing, but I will tell you a secret - you won't like it,

You have all the space you need.

Because eventually, everything has to fit neatly into the space you actually have. With at least a chair and most of a bed uncovered.

Yes, it's easier if you can spread it all out on tarps ala Cory and get help, but let's face it, we have limited energy.

If you have a square foot of clean surface, you can make progress.

If you pick a category that might be easiest for you to reduce and tell me how much surface area you have, I will give you a process.

Here is a thing that happened to me today - I wanted a tortilla for lunch, but we had no tortillas. But, I had a clean stove and a clean counter. I googled "fast, easy tortillas" I divided the recipe by 4, and I was even able to lay my hands on my rolling pin. In less time than it would have taken me to get to the grocery store, I had four hot, fresh tortillas made from only flour, water, oil and salt. - and no plastic packaging. They were do good I spread a little peach jam on a second one, rolled it up and called it dessert!

The key to this is: CLEANING UP AFTER MYSELF

I don't like it. It takes longer (except making the tortillas was so fast because the surfaces were clean and I could find all the things I needed!) it's frustrating when things don't have places they go (but I got the thing from somewhere, so it can go back there, or closer to where it actually belongs, or maybe I can move (or remove!) something else to make space for it.)

I removed some things from my dressing table today - I put the dirty apron in the laundry basket. I put the picture back in it's frame and hung it back on the wall, I put my earrings back in my jewelry box. I made a space on the closet shelf (by shoving things over - the closet is a work in progress) for the sentimental stuffed dog and put it away.

And when I was loading the dishes in the dishwasher and I started cleaning a plastic tray and realized it did not have a recycling symbol on it, I decided I can put it in a bag for the dumpster. And I did.

I want a life where I make tortillas.
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CriticalMass
Posted: 11 August 2022 - 12:01 PM
You know what I would do among other things if I won the lottery? I would start a business, or it might even be a nonprofit - because I'd want to reach the people like myself who have the willingness to work on their hoarding issues but just lack the funds to have SPACE, so that everything's jammed together...

Well, I would provide them that space! I would obtain large, empty warehouse type buildings, either buy or rent depending on what's more cost effective and efficient in a given locale. I'd have folding tables, shelves, dollies and carts, and helpers to lift heavy stuff. Plenty of trash bins and supplies, recycling containers, and other bins and trucks that would regularly transport donations to charity.

I'd have clean bathrooms and a kitchen so they could come and stay as long as they needed during daylight hours. A lounge with wifi and comfy couches. Since my warehouses would be large, multiple sorters could work at the same time. If they desired, they could have curtains for privacy. Maybe some sorting spaces would be away from the main one, for those folks new to all this and more nervous.

The lounge could be a place for camaraderie, swapping war stories in the clutter battle, bolstering one another's morale and energy, and of course celebrating victories. A TV would have YouTube with Marie Kondo and other videos available. There might even be a very chill, very Zen vibe coach on hand in case someone needs a little advice, venting, hand holding, or whatever.

U-Haul truck service would be available to transport people's stuff - from wherever they currently have it to the sorting warehouse, and what is kept to its final destination which is hopefully a clean and uncluttered house or apartment.

I would call it Sorting Heaven 😇 lol

Or perhaps just Sortaway.

We could also get Cory in on it somehow, if he's interested. 😉

I ❤ to daydream.
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Subclinical
Posted: 11 August 2022 - 05:02 AM
CM,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't beat yourself up. You have found some photos - that is still good.

Yesterday I picked a few things in the garden - the harvest is just exploding, and got most of it at least rinsed and put in the fridge (the beans are still on the counter) I put four quarts of summer squash and six half cup jars of pesto in the freezer. I checked the fridge and gave a few things to the chickens *before* they caused me to have to wash a vegetable crisper.

I chopped up tomatoes and let them marinate with fresh basil and pepper and balsamic vinegar for dinner. (Served with homemade bread for me and store pasta for Dh)

And I cleaned up after myself. (Although I forgot to start the dishwasher before I went to bed.)

All of that is temporary, but it feels like forward progress to be able to do it. Cleaning up after yourself takes a long time!

I also finally cleared that last bathroom surface down to clock and candle and wiped it clean.

More garden today. I also have two more surfaces upstairs that are buried under stuff drifts. My dressing table and my dresser. So today I will get something off of one of those. - small, easy, "keep moving" goal.

I'll report back later.

And CM, I hope you find your pictures! (And maybe some less important items you can part with while you look!)

Hi to everyone!
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CriticalMass
Posted: 10 August 2022 - 10:20 PM
Those moments when you wish so badly that you had gotten on top of the mess and disorganization a long time ago...

My uncle, my mom's baby brother, turned 94 on Friday the 5th. He died this morning after an injury on Monday. I'm trying to find the photos that I know exist to send to my cousins, but there are so many boxes and in different places (including possibly the storage unit but I do recall I made an effort to get photos over here to the house because the damp was damaging them). I've found a few, though.

Why is it that we put off caring for the most meaningful things - short of the people themselves - that carry our memories, and busy ourselves with lesser everyday stuff? Is it just because it's more time consuming to scan and organize the photos and clippings?

I don't know. But this gives me something to think about as in a month or so we head into a cooler time of year when organizing my storage unit will be doable.

And yes, ultimately the people themselves are more valuable than even the photos. But the photos are nevertheless very nice to have.
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Subclinical
Posted: 10 August 2022 - 06:37 AM
Nothing to report, but I hated seeing that at the top when I checked in this morning.

I think today is going to be a garden/food focused day, so I may not make progress on the decluttering front.

I'm tired and discouraged and my head hurts.
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Subclinical
Posted: 09 August 2022 - 08:12 PM
My heartgrandson was expelled from my school.

It's one of those "if this kid wasn't my kid I would believe the other kid too." situations and nothing to be done.

Aaaaugh!

That was a lot longer. I edited it before I posted.
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Subclinical
Posted: 09 August 2022 - 06:05 PM
Good evening!

I spent 7.5 hours working in my classroom.

I think I have all the large furniture where it will go.

I found the tiles I was looking for!

I got 40 out of 66 glued to the wall. My feet are sore from going up and down the ladder. Also, it was exhausting - every tile placement is a decision.

I'm pretty sure I have now touched every item in my room at least once. But most of it is not where it belongs. I have started grouping items by category. I also removed two small pieces of furniture today. And I took the plaster molds I wasn't sure what to do with down and left them in the church rummage sale (we rent our building from the church and they have a rummage sale in the gym every summer.
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Subclinical
Posted: 09 August 2022 - 04:49 AM
Good morning again.

Bean and I only did one basket of laundry and there is room in the dishwasher but dishes not loaded.

It was nice in the morning, so we played outside.

This morning I am going to load my car with the goes to school stuff and take Bean with me after breakfast and chores. His Daddy is meeting us because he has things to donate to our art program, and he will take Bean and I will work on my room all day.

I am feeling overwhelmed by my life again. Everything is good, but there is so much of it. Last night I dreamed a bunch of my former students came back to help with my room. I also dreamed that I had new goats that I want but know I am not ready for.

Also, we are spending a lot of money right now which is making me feel very insecure and makes it hard to let go of things. My car, which also needs new tires before winter, dd2 is moving to another state and I will probably need to drive out with her and fly back (which is going to also eat up a week of my life and I will probably miss open house at school) and I will have to pay the farm sitter for another week, and I have a big fence job scheduled for the end of September. It took me 6 months to get on their list and I can't reschedule for spring - maybe summer next year, which will be bad timing and make other stuff more expensive. I have saved up for the fence job.

On top of all this, the rebuilt 1970s tractor is acting up and Dh says it is probably time to replace it instead of rebuilding it again.

I need to remind myself that having seven bins of yarn (for example) is not going to help with the sense of no time or the cost of the tractor in any way.
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Subclinical
Posted: 08 August 2022 - 04:55 AM
Good morning.

Lila, can you find a place for the soap to serve a decorative function?

Also, teen's behavior does not mean that they don't love you. It means that they are a teenager with autism. Autism makes it very hard to relate appropriately to people. Being a teenager makes it hard to relate to your parents. There is a misconception that autistic people are not emotional - autistic people feel things very deeply. They just don't express these feelings the same way.

I remember hearing an autistic guy talk about trying to relate to his girlfriend once. He said "if you tell me once that having me bring you coffee makes you feel loved, I will bring you so much coffee that it becomes annoying. Then, when you get mad at me, I will bring you more coffee."

Do you use the random items in the bathroom? Put as much as possible away.

I have a twisty pottery vase thing in my bathroom - it holds my brush, my toothbrush, my razor, and a pair of tweezers. I can pick the whole thing up with one hand to wipe the counter. I also have a soap pump and a cup with my toothpaste in it, although I think I am going to work on putting the toothpaste away - I don't like it in the cup, but my vanity has a cupboard and then low drawers. And a bottle of lotion that I also use for shaving which I also want to get under the sink, but that space needs to be cleaned out. Deodorant is in the cupboard and I don't use make up or other products. Hair elastics are in the drawer. (Drawer needs cleaned out also)

I have actually been picking at this space for a couple of weeks - it was very bad. I have another little surface that just yesterday finally got down to only items that belong in the bathroom. I had gotten into the habit of dumping the contents of my pockets on it every night. By the end of the week I hope to get it cleared down to the candle and the clock and wipe it clean.

I got most of the dishes into the dishwasher last night and ran it, and I am mostly caught up on the laundry except that Bean and I have two baskets to put away today. (He likes to take something out of the basket and hand it to you to fold and to carry a little pile to it's destination.) He is spending the night, so the most I expect from today is cleaning up after myself somewhat as I go.

Eat healthy food Lila!
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Lila
Posted: 07 August 2022 - 07:48 PM
SubC, no, they won't. You have to bag it and pay $2.50 per bag that's not in the can... but, I think he will take it, but if it's still here it is going in the trash.

I worked on the vanity some more. Not many items left. I run out of energy fast. But, I also realized that when I eat sugar or a lot of refined carbs, I get tired a lot faster than when I eat healthier choices. So tomorrow I will get more done, as I will eat better. I have off tomorrow morning but work in the afternoon. This is my last week working on a 9 week project that I've been in charge of which takes 3 hours on Mondays, 2 hours on Tuesdays, and 4 hours on Thursdays. Thursday it is DONE so I will have 9 more free hours in my week, plus travel time! No new projects until mid September.

I would really like to drive to the forest or a beach or something and just have some chill time, but I would like someone to come with me. Ex is gone, teen isn't interested and is very stressful, son has to work. I miss the days when my kids were young and I could take them on trips. My closest friends passed away in recent years, so I am fairly alone.

Okay, to stay on topic, here is what is left on the vanity causing me problems:

-toothpaste and toothbrush - maybe I should put them in a cup, or leave them out?
-lotion that is too big and tall to fit in a cabinet. I use it often. Maybe could put it inder the sink, but then it is not convenient. Leave it out?
-wipes
-small random items with no home
-an empty spray bottle which I do want to keep for water spray
-a star shaped soap teen gave me when they were young, when they seemed to care about me. They are so detached now. I never used the soap, maybe it is because when it is gone I will miss looking at it and remembering how they used to love me.

Maybe some of this stuff can go in the closet. Maybe I could use a small ziplock bag for the random items.

Under the sink is a whole nother story. What a mess in there.
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Subclinical
Posted: 07 August 2022 - 06:48 PM
Will your trash collection take items that are not in the can?

If so, you can tell the ex that you are putting the food on the curb if he wants to get it before the trash guys.

I'm sure the guy sees gross stuff under stoves all the time.

Ok, really gonna go make the bed.
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Lila
Posted: 07 August 2022 - 06:40 PM
Very good SubC, I will check on resources. Honestly this district is something else. There have been months teen has not even checked in to school, and no one calls or anything. They don't care. I am surprized we don't get Becca billed. Teen was in public online school for a long time, did basically nothing, and now is in a private one but still connected through the district.

Did I mention ex did come by yesterday but only for 10 minutes, barely said anything, and only took a couple items. He had 3 canvas bags and I know he took some clothes and who knows what else in them. He said he is coming back for the food in a couple days. It doesn't look like he is going to take much. Sigh.

I also found out that the guy who is oming over to fix my stove soon says "it's so simple, you just pull the stove out and take off the back, blah blah blah" but you KNOW my heart leapt into my throat when he said pull the stove out. Can you IMAGINE what is under there, back there, stuck to the back and sides?? omg horrifying. There are tiny 1/8 inch gaps on each side and things spill down there. I KNOW it is revolting. So I will need my son to pull it out for me so we can clean it before this guys comes to fix it. My whole kitchen is gross right now. It makes me sad.
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Subclinical
Posted: 07 August 2022 - 06:32 PM
Hi Lila! Good job on the vanity!

I think only Road and I have husbands. Mine does clean. I would not say that he "helps me clean" I clean the things that bug me, he cleans the things that bug him. Sometimes things bug him and he can't clean them because my stuff is in the way and then he gets grumpy with me about the stuff, or he moves the stuff in a way that makes me grumpy. Or he cleans them with a chemical that upsets me. Sometimes things bug me and I clean them in a way that upsets him (He has finally trained me not to put his fancy pint glasses in the dishwasher, but that just means that when they pile up on the counter and I need the space, I move them to the part of the island he likes kept clean). Mostly we don't fight about it though - there are very few things we think of as "my job" or "your job".

Sometimes I will ask him to vacuum or clean the sink if there is company coming or something because he does not mind those jobs, and he will ask me to dust or clean the stove or put laundry away (laundry is my job, but I don't always put it away promptly)

Is teen in public online school? I think you should look into what services are available. They should be required to offer support for the autism. Possibly even if the online school is not public.

I made squash fritters. They were good. Part of me wants to try to get beets in the dehydrator tonight, but instead I am going to load and start the dishwasher and declare what I have done "enough"

I washed the sheets. I need to remake the bed.

Then:
Chores
Shower
Bedtime.

I am picking Bean up early tomorrow.
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Lila
Posted: 07 August 2022 - 06:03 PM
Thanks SubC, those are good points for me to consider. Teen is in an online school program now, so no support services. Even when they were in school with a 504, there was very little support. They just thought it was chosen poor behavior. Now that we have the autism dx, things make sensse, but maybe it is too late to get help. I am looking into it still.

I like the access part. It is just me, teen, and son. Teen has some kind of food issues... textures? obsessions? hard to say. I am about to ditch the grated cheese and the hotsauce out the window since I am so sick of cleaning it up.

I am working on cleaning the vanity. I have a few things left to find homes for but already scrubbed about 1/3 of the vanity top and it looks so nice. I hope to finish it by tonight.

Do you guys' husbands help you clean at all?
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Subclinical
Posted: 07 August 2022 - 04:40 PM
It's a little more complicated with your teen because of the autism challenges. Are they working with any support services through school? Usually if you are working on behavior modification it is good to use a consistent approach.

I think I would be more concerned about the tantrums than the food mess.

Reducing availability might help - who lives in your house besides you and teen? Keeping only small amounts of very healthy, easy to clean up food might help. For example - if other household members aren't eating grated cheese, then the first time grated cheese is left on the counter it doesn't get purchased again until kitchen skills are mastered.

I might also invest in some locks. That stinks, but if someone can't be trusted to be in parts of your house alone, something has to be done about that - the same way you put up baby gates for toddlers. - again, I would talk to teen's support people if they have them before making any changes.
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Lila
Posted: 07 August 2022 - 03:59 PM
SubC, you are a good teacher. How would you teach a teen to clean up after themselves if they make messes? I have tried asking, consequences, or even just leaving kitchen messes until there are no clean dishes or surfaces, but nothing seems to get through. There can be one clean plate and teen will fix food and leave grated cheese, crumbs, wrappers, and spills on the stove and counter even though the trash can is 2 feet away. If you have any ideas for this, I am all ears.
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Lila
Posted: 07 August 2022 - 03:32 PM
hello all! So glad to have posts to read today! I enjoyed each one, and wish I had the memory bandwidth to remember who said what and reply to everyone. Usually I open a separate window and respond as I am reading, but not today. I am waiting on a second window for a virtual appointment for teen, whose eye is swollen. Well, the lid. It is a 45 minute wait. Teen will not just put hot compresses on it because Mom said so, but perhaps if a doctor says so, they will. Or maybe they need drops, who knows.

Today was church and work and people, and now I am home eating soup and bread. I am irritated that Teen walked in the garage and then came in and tracked bits of glass all over. After this video visit I will try and get them to clean it up. Or else I have to do it. I also unloaded and loaded the dishwasher. Not running it yet, still has room. Kitchen is a wreck again, thanks teen. It is exhausting. I wish I could go back in time and wish I had known they had autism at a younger age so there could have been therapy. We just got a dx last year and now they don't have any life skills and are very stubborn to learn any, and nothing I do or say is changing anything.

Goals:

get the rest of the bathroom vanity stuff put away
wash off the vanity top and sink, which is layered in dust and gross
maybe vacuum, we'll see.
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Subclinical
Posted: 07 August 2022 - 02:11 PM
So, what has everyone been up to?

I have bee n doing dishes, laundry, and food.

I found two lovely stoneware loaf pan in my basement that I forgot I had. I baked fresh loaves of Bean's hot bread in them and am now content to get rid of four non-stick loaf pans that are hard to get clean.

The last butternut squash from last year is baked and mashed and in the fridge so Bean and I can make biscuits tomorrow. And, I helped Dh install Internet in the studio barn! This means that when I am working out there I can put my earbuds in and play music on my iPad! Also other things, but I think I'm most excited about that. The commercials on the radio are awful and there is no cell service because the studio is a metal building.

Ok, off to empty the dishwasher.
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Subclinical
Posted: 07 August 2022 - 08:06 AM
Good morning!

Lovely to have more of the group here!

CM, chatter away! I must ask though - have you gotten rid of the dolls that are being replaced?

Really, I am not patient. I am one of those people who has been known to abandon their shopping because the checkout is taking too long. And if you are an adult spouting stupidity I will cut you off. Heck, if you are a kid spouting stupidity I will cut you off, but I will be nicer about it. I will also cut people off and say "this is a great conversation, but unfortunately I have something else to do." I will not wait for you to do "one more thing" before we go somewhere. If you have alternative transportation, I will leave you - I will tell you I am leaving and give you a choice, but I will leave. If you are ten minutes late I will call you to make sure you are ok. If you are ok I will be annoyed that you are late.

But if you are wearing a trainee badge, and I have time, I will get in your line on purpose and wait as long as it takes, and smile at you and thank you for the things you are doing right, because I know a lot of people have probably yelled at you today and you are LEARNING. If you call me and say "I have to stop at Mom's, so I may be late because it's so difficult to get out of there" I will bring a book and wait a long time. If I UNDERSTAND what is going on in a situation, I can avoid frustration and so I don't need patience.

Patience runs out. Understanding grows.

If it's not too humid you could put powdered sugar on the cupcakes. Chocolate ones anyway - it's pretty.

I'm sorry your waterpark is closing CM. And I hope the computer thing resolves!

Lila, yes, the decisions are exhausting. I think that's how we all got here. Very nice job with the ice tray! My mom has some Tupperware celery keepers that she uses as cookie jars - they go in the freezer, seal well, and are just the right size.

I did not clean up after myself yesterday. I tried, but it was just too much. I did run the dishwasher once, and I did *something with all the produce I brought in - even if it was just rinse, bag and refrigerate. Nothing is rotting on any counters. The dehydrator is full of beans.

Lila, I didn't look up the sandwich because I want to have a pint of dried beans as snack food for every week of the school year and I probably won't get that many. Right now I am working on eating up the fresh squash - squash fritters today I think.

Ok, gotta go be productive. Sorry about the book.

Hi Road! Come back!
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CriticalMass
Posted: 06 August 2022 - 11:18 PM
I haven't done a lot but I put out the one fire. I'm not naive enough to think there won't be more,but perhaps a gap between them? I'll take what I can get.

Lila, for some reason your situation is making me hark back to breaking up with my boyfriend many, many moons ago. I didn't handle it well at all. It sounds like you are doing constructive things to move forward. Let me just say, Bravo. And I'm sure there are times when you get all the feels, but you are holding steady, it sounds like.

SubC and Tatoulia, patience with the young and the old, and everyone in between, is indeed a virtue. I'll be attempting to get better at it till I'm six feet under, I'm sure.

Hoping for a productive week, rabbit club event next weekend. I've done most of the graphic stuff for it such as announcements for social media. May need to make a sign, we'll see. And cupcakes. Looks like the weather will be down 10 degrees on Monday, but back up around 100 for the event on Sunday. Bleah. 😝 Thinking of options for cupcake toppings other than frosting which melts. Fondant or sprinkles or something.

I'm sad that my fire to put out kept me from making it to the water park on Friday, which was the last weekday it was to be open this summer. Weekends are all that are left and then after Labor Day outdoor pools are over for the year. 😥 The water parks are a huge destresser. I am like a little kid, all the years and cares just fall away. Well, there'll still be indoor swimming, and it's pretty good but more subdued.

I brought my "model" dolls (18" American Girl size) in from my van where they have been riding around longer than I ever intended. These are newer ones to replace some that weren't in good shape. And I donated more than I am keeping. So now I need to get them out of their boxes and recycle the boxes, and the dolls will take up less room. My roommate and I are planning some joint doll clothes crafting ventures with her knitting and my sewing. Items for these larger size dolls and Barbie size also. There is a market for the clothes online.

The new computer is still in limbo. I'll be continuing to back up data in preparation. Need to order a battery for my old tablet and attempt data recovery from it. 🤞

There are larger things looming but it stresses me to think too much about those. So forgive me if I ramble vaguely about miscellaneous stuff a lot of the time these days.

This may be of interest to some of you: I saw online this buzz about "Mind After Midnight" - a new study regarding how our brains are not really geared to being up doing stuff in the night. Bad news for night owls 🦉 like me. However, I'm paying attention, because I see myself so much in the pattern they describe of the sleep deprived - poor executive functioning, tendency towards pessimism, etc. If sacrificing some of my nocturnal doings could pay off in terms of feeling better and accomplishing more, well...

So anyway, thought I would share that in case it's helpful.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 06 August 2022 - 09:25 PM
I haven't read anyone's posts but SubC's post on doing loving acts. I need that to sink in. Thank you for a lovely and loving post, SubC.
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Lila
Posted: 06 August 2022 - 07:00 PM
Thank you SubC for the encouragement!

I find this activity so draining that I have to do like ten minutes at a time and then take a break. Too much stuff, too many decisions! But it feels good as I cull things and find places for things.

I have some tubes of things, like face wash or hair gel, that stand on end but the end has a cap that dispenses. I don't want them in there on the wooden shelves in case they leak. I thought about tossing them in a drawer but I want things neat and not leaky.

So I went around the house looking for a bin that is longer, for those tubes, but short enough to fit in a drawer... I could not find anything until I saw an ice cube bin on the counter and wondered... hmmm. And it fits perfectly! I hesitated a bit, thinking, "this is for ice!" but then realized it has been sitting on the kitchen bar for MONTHS. May as well make use of it! Win win.
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Subclinical
Posted: 06 August 2022 - 06:29 PM
Yes!

Start by getting it back! It's better to have more things where they go than a few things perfectly organized!

I find that the first step here is just getting them in the right building! Then the right room, then the right storage area, then neatly organized. Every step is a chance to purge and at every step purging gets easier.
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Lila
Posted: 06 August 2022 - 05:19 PM
updating for motivation:

I took the kitchen trash out and it leaked. I cleaned that up.

I am slowly working on putting all my stuff back into the vanity drawers, some in the little bins I have, and also putting things in the vanity cabinets. I struggle with thoughts of 'where is the RIGHT way to put things away' and 'what is the BEST way to organize this stuff?' But, I am forcing myself to just get it done, and be happy it will be clean and neat. I tell myself, I can always reorganize things later if I wish.
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Lila
Posted: 06 August 2022 - 04:26 PM
Thanks SubC, and yes!! That is a good thing to hope - that he fills his car and leaves the food so I can throw it out. Honestly there is so much trash and junk in his den that someone is going to need to take a full load to the dump once he has all his things out of there, unless, of course, he takes his trash with him. There are empty bottles, plastic food containers (empty but not washed), probably enough plastic bags (dirty, with holes, etc) to fill a yard waste bag and enough dirty napkins, used paper towels, used paper plates and such to full my trash bin. Plus the old, literally broken in pieces recliner, an old wooden chair too rickety to use, and tons of old clothes from the 70s with holes in them. I will be so happy when it is all OUT of my house. Seeing the master bathroom being trasnformed as I move his junk out of there and clean it is wonderful!! Like a dream come true.

I saw a recipe for marinated green bean sandwiches online that has high ratings, and thought of you SubC. It looks tasty. If you google it, it comes up.

I got all the towels folded and put away.
I loaded the dishwasher and ran it and it is drying.

I am running out of stream.
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Subclinical
Posted: 06 August 2022 - 03:30 PM
Nice job Lila!

Very good that you made progress using what you already have!

I hope the ex fills his car and does not take the food, because then you can throw the food out and be rid of a larger amount of stuff.

I picked up my car this morning. The bill astronomical, but not as bad as buying a new car. Let's just put it this way - I now have a AAA membership because it saved me $200. And I will now be joining the "buy nothing" club.

I also went to the feed store (because unfortunately I still need feed.)

I cut Dh hair and did chores and put the dried basil away and cut up a bazillion yellow beans.

I have more to pick and cut up and hopefully get in the dehydrator tonight.
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Lila
Posted: 06 August 2022 - 02:34 PM
post 2 today, update:

so far I:
- wiped out the bathroom vanity drawers
- found small bins that fit them, and put makeup in one and put it in the drawer
- sliced the last of the tomatoes and had a sandwich for lunch
- folded the two baskets of towels and put most of them away

Now I am enjoying my iced coffee. Next I will fold the towels that are on the couch (been there a week) and put those and the rest of the other folded towels away.

Ex will be here in a couple of hours so I am wandering around making sure his stuff is in there and my stuff is put away where he won't take mine by mistake. I know he said he is only taking a couple things, but I secretly hope he loads up his car, at least.

What are you guys up to?
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Lila
Posted: 06 August 2022 - 12:26 PM
Good morning all, happy Saturday! I enjoyed reading your posts this morning.

Last night I took everything out of the six drawers in the master bathroom vanity. Three were ex's so I put those things in a box and put them in his den. I sorted the stuff from mine and threw away about 1/3 of it... expired stuff, things I never use. I found several things to donate and put them in the box. I got tired, so left all the stuff on the floor. This morning I will go in there, wipe out the inside of the drawers with pledge, and put things back. I would like to have some little bins that fit in the drawers to organize better, but instead of going to the dollar store, first I will look around the house and use any empty little bins lying around. I know I have some.

Also I put something away in the garage this morning, and when I opened the door, there was glass shattered from one end to the other. You may remember I just cleaned up broken glass and pottery in there a couple weeks ago from a teen rage. This time, I had no idea it had happened. So many feelings came up when I saw it. Anger, hopelessness, frustration, sadness, and I had a lot of negative thoughts, but I just shut the door and left it there. When teen is up, I will calmly tell them that they can either sweep it or use the shop vac, but it has to be cleaned up. I have no way to reinforce this, but I hope they will clean it up, but if not, I will have to do it. They know this. We'll see.

Ex is coming today to get "a few things." I put a few things I came across of his, into his den. I put his expired food in a bag and box and texted him to take it. If he doesn't, I am putting it in the trash.Apparently he is only taking a few, very few things. I hope to talk with him next week about what his intentions and plans are, but for now, I am just picking up anything I come across of his and putting it in the den, so it is consolidated.

Also my son vacuumed yesterday and washed 2 loads of towels. I brought the baskets of towels up and want to get them folded and put away today. Might sort some out and put them in the den for ex to take, because I have too many and he is probably going to ask for some.

Also I REALLY REALLY wanted iced coffee this morning, and almost went and bought some, but thought of you all and instead I brewed a pot of strong decaf, and added a little cold water, put some in a cup in the freezer to chill and the rest in a mason jar for another time. I also have no ice but filled a tray so when that is frozen I will have my darned iced coffee.
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Subclinical
Posted: 06 August 2022 - 06:21 AM
Goid mirning!

Good to see you Tatoulia and CM! Still missing Road and wondering about our new people.

Tatoulia - here is what I think about patience. Patience is about suffering. It is the ability to tolerate things that are causing negative feelings. I have no patience. But people accuse me of being patient with my kids all the time. It isn't patience, it's understanding. When you understand what is causing the thing people think you have to be patient with, you can ignore it and focus on addressing the cause - when Bean helps me do the chores, it takes much longer than doing them alone, and sometimes feed gets spilled or things get wet that shouldn't, or he distracts me or surprises the goat and buckets get kicked over or stepped in. Because Bean is learning everything, and he is small. But it doesn't matter. Because on those days, I am not doing chores. I am nurturing a love of the animals in a child and with any luck, I am crafting a skilled teenager who will WANT to help me when I am 70.

Try to think of it not as doing a sewing project, but as helping your mom have a sense of accomplishment. It's not about what you are actually doing, it's about helping your mom feel good about what you are doing. Don't take it personally if she tells you everything you are doing wrong - thank her for pointing something out you didn't see or teaching you something you didn't know, or "helping" you do something you've never done before. Your Mom doesn't really want the project - you could hire someone for that - she wants to believe that she still has sewing skills. It doesn't matter how the project turns out as long as you take all the blame and give her all the credit.

It's not "Bean, don't touch the goat when I'm milking!" It's "wow! The goat was really surprised! Was that scary when she jumped? She probably got scared because she couldn't see you and she thought you might be something that eats goats. Goat, this is Bean. Don't worry, he does not eat goats! Now, let's get a new clean bucket, and if you want to touch the goat, you can tell me and I'll help you so she doesn't get scared again."

"You're doing that all wrong!" "I know. I never learned how to do this. I'm glad I still have a chance for you to teach me." - because you are glad, not because you want to sew, but because she's your mom and she's still here, and she wants to do this with you. So just remember that part.

Lila, good job on the medical stuff!

I forgot to confess yesterday that I took Bean to the grocery store after I picked him up. I let him help shop, so we ended up with a watermelon and a toy car. He requested the watermelon from across the produce section, but I just saw him eyeing the toy cars, and I asked "do you want a car?" and pushed the cart next to the display. He picked out a green one and hugged it tight so I bought it. Now it has to live here because his Mom doesn't want a bunch of toys. She would say "he has cars." So that is a new thing in the house. We will finish eating the watermelon.
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Tatoulia
Posted: 05 August 2022 - 11:46 PM
Drive by!

I'm doing a no-spend August, which means I can only buy groceries and necessities. I have spent a lot in the last two months.

Cleaners came today instead of Wednesday. They also cleaned mom's place today. I don't know if I mentioned this but in a recent team meeting with all of mom's health providers, one of the nurses said how pleasant it is to be in mom's house now. Honestly it used to be so filthy. So the amount I'm spending is worth it. I can also be in her house without thinking I'll crawl out of my skin.

I have too much stuff. How do I know this? I'm having trouble putting everything away. So that means I have to take a look at things. I don't just want to stuff things in my closet.

Tmr I have to get up early to take someone to airport then I have to do a dreaded sewing project with mom. I know she can no longer sew (no eyesight) and she is driving me nuts. I don't know how to sew at all. This is a nightmare but I'll try. I have to not be mean.

I am neither creative nor precise, so this is exactly the type of thing I don't need in my life. I do not have the patience. But I will look for it with my mom.
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Lila
Posted: 05 August 2022 - 08:52 PM
My law is hanging open SubC, like, OF COURSE that is where beans come from, but I never, ever considered that you could grow one plant and eat both green beans and then, later, black beans from them. Wow. I need to grow some. Once they turn black, can you just eat them like that, or do you have to dry them?

I went in my room and got out a bin of meds and medical things and I threw out about half the stuff because it is expired, or I don't need it anymore. I had several inhalers in there from when I had covid a year ago. I kept them in case there is an apocalypse and no pharmacies exist and I need them, but meh, I am over it.

See you guys tomorrow.
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Subclinical
Posted: 05 August 2022 - 08:44 PM
So, all beans start out green. Some turn yellow, some turn purple, and some just turn brown and dry out. (Btw, cucumbers also turn brown and dry out like a thin shelled gourd)

The bump inside a bean is a seed, and again, they start out tiny and green, and turn different colors as they ripen usually white or black. Sometimes brown, yellow, or spotted. Black beans are black seeds from a bean pod. So, the variety of green beans that I grow is dual purpose - it makes a good snap Bean - green, or if you don't pick them, they grow big and lumpy, turn brown, dry out, and can be shelled for black beans.

Very tired. Will check in tomorrow.
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Lila
Posted: 05 August 2022 - 07:42 PM
SubC, wait... what?? about the green beans... letting them go... black beans? I feel some kind of epiphany coming on...

I answered emails.

I threw out old food from one cabinet and the cheese drawer. Stuff that is expired and that I know no one is going to eat. This is good, because it is making space. Some of my cabinets are totally crammed and I can't find anything. This will help me have space and not have everything shoved in there all hoarded up.

I brushed the dog. I video chatted Tot.

I really want to clean more, so maybe I will. But I have off tomorrow too so I can get more done!
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Subclinical
Posted: 05 August 2022 - 07:26 PM
Hi everybody!

Hi CM - who keeps starting all these fires?😉
I know it becomes exhausting. And it's the thing about "when you're up to your @$$ in alligators, it's hard to remember that your original objective was to drain the swamp."

Hi Lila, I'm sorry to hear about tot and acorn. 🙁

My beans are currently yellow beans. I'm letting the green ones go for black beans for winter. I dehydrate them with salt, cayenne, and just enough olive oil to make the spices stick, so probably not what you want for dinner. They make great snack food if you like spicy.

Nice job on your fridge!

I had a good day with Bean today. He made me vacuum.
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Lila
Posted: 05 August 2022 - 04:31 PM
post 2- hope someone stops by today!

I made the gazpacho and cleaned out the fridge. I didn't WASH it out, I just got everything out of there that was going bad, and rearranged.

I put WD40 on a squeaking thing. I cooked some pasta. Now I feel like I am losing steam and it is only 2:30. I think I will make some coffee. I wish I had some iced, but I could brew it strong and add cold water and ice it. I think I'll do that.
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Lila
Posted: 05 August 2022 - 01:44 PM
hi CM! So glad you dropped by! Nice to hear how you are doing.

Good morning SubC. Glad you are working on things still and got lots of beans! I assume these are green beans. I have some in my fridge a friend gave me. What are your favorite ways to prepare them? Maybe that will be dinner tonight.

I was so busy yesterday but it was a good day. Tot and Acorn are pretty sick. I dropped off soup and did a video chat, but can't go see them for another week.I hope you have fun with Bean.

I am OFF today thank goodness. So far I:
-washed off a dirty counter and dirty stove
-scrubbed burned-on stuff off the glass cooktop; Teen did it and I have it about 90% cleaned
-sorted berries and ate those and a mango for breakfast
-read on the deck outside, it is nice out
-pulled a few weeds and put them in the compost bin


I also sorted the tomatoes a friend gave me, and am going to make gazpacho today with those and cucumbers and a red pepper I have in the fridge. I also sliced 2 tomatoes and made a delicious tomato sandwich - one of my favorite things! It was on white bread with mayo, but still! I abandoned the bacon at least.

I need to sort the fridge but kind of dreading it. I will do that when I am getting out the ingredients for gazpacho (have to find that red pepper, and some onion and garlic).
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CriticalMass
Posted: 05 August 2022 - 11:30 AM
Hi you two, and anyone else. 🙋‍♀️

Summer marches on. I keep having new fires to put out, and lack of resolution on pending matters. Plus things that pain my soul in deeper ways than I would feel comfortable delineating here. But I am holding as steady as I can under the circumstances.

Some annoying obligations are behind me. A few other things, and not all of them annoying but involving work. We got some rain days and days ago but are back to hot for awhile.

SubC, I like your bit about doing some of those little things we notice in passing. It's a good strategy for the hot, lower energy days.

So often, I wish I didn't have obligations and deadlines, because I hate the coordinating involved. Especially when I've been putting out fires.

Gotta go now to put out another one. 🔥 🚒


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Subclinical
Posted: 05 August 2022 - 05:32 AM
Good morning!

Today is a Bean day.

I enjoyed the library program. I brought home a library labelled tote bag, a folder full of information handouts, a flower shaped multicolored highlighter, and a name sign for my classroom door.

Now I need to get four of my coworkers to sign up for library educator cards and the library will deliver book collections to my school every month! (It is possible that four or more of my coworkers already HAVE educator cards, I just need their names on our school form.)

I do not have any tasks on my list for today, just Bean.

How is everybody else doing?
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Subclinical
Posted: 04 August 2022 - 11:54 AM
I finished the garage. Most of the stuff in the garage belongs in the garage (the stuff that doesn't is up on surfaces.)

I washed the water hog mat - that goes below the steps into the house - for 30 minutes. Starting with the hose, then scrub brush, then hose.. It can now be classified as "a little dirty."
I left it on the driveway to dry because I forgot that it is supposed to rain all afternoon. From the look of things I need to go move it back into the garage once I finish this post.

Then I came in hungry - and I made a good choice! Instead of eating easy but unhealthy, I had a peach to hold me while I made a salad. Then I went downstairs to get the lettuce and ended up washing out a nasty vegetable crisper..

So now, it is almost 1:00, and I'm going to make my salad!
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Subclinical
Posted: 04 August 2022 - 09:44 AM
I have: picked the beans, planted more beans, and signed my contract (electronically) I am now drinking water because it is very hot outside.

Next I will move some things that are not supposed to be in the garage and are taking up floor space. Then I will sweep it.
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Subclinical
Posted: 04 August 2022 - 05:49 AM
Good Morning!

Lila, I am so happy that you are moving toward the life you want!

I also hope more friends will stop by today! I know Lila and I posted a lot. Just drop in and let us know how you are doing, don't worry about processing it all.

I have 5 things on my list today that are not every day things:
Pick beans
Plant more beans
Sweep the garage (both cars are out because mine is still at the shop)
Sign my contract for fall
Teacher night at the library

Other than those I have a "things I have noticed" list to pick from or ignore. I am trying to choose a reasonable number of those for each day. They are low urgency, variable importance - like sweeping the garage.

I am keeping up with dishes and laundry! I almost got to bed at 9:30 last night, but dd2 called with more moving stress.
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Lila
Posted: 03 August 2022 - 10:20 PM
last post of the night-

We did good today SubC! I am proud of us. I hope some of our friends stop by tomorrow.

Getting late but I had an online meeting and then got a few last little things done:

-sorted mail, opened it and threw out quite a bit
-picked up the few pieces of trash in my bedroom and noticed the dust bunnies, so I will vacuum soon
-put away the hand washed dishes and washed the pans

I feel happy. I improved my situation today by getting this stuff done.

Tomorrow I am free til noon and then I have 2 appointments, then maybe an hour at home before going in to work for 3 or so hours. I am OFF on Friday (staying home) and Saturday.Work a half day Sunday, half day Monday, 2 hours Tuesday and a few hours Thursday but OFF Weds, Fri, Sat. I am carving out time for myself.

See you tomorrow.
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Subclinical
Posted: 03 August 2022 - 07:02 PM
Lila - nothing stays clean.

I used to have a friend who had four kids very close together. Her mom would come to visit, and watch the kids for a day, and the mom would dress the kids all in the same color from the skin out, and do all the laundry in the house. Then, right before my friend came home, she would stick all four kids in the bath and do the last load of laundry - so that when my friend got home, there would be NO dirty clothes in the house.

Dinner was zucchini, yellow squash, and two colors of carrots chopped up and sautéed in butter and garlic with black pepper and salt - served over pasta. Sometimes I add oregano, but the yellow carrots were sort of spicy. Onion is also an option.

Dh was pleased with me when he got home. 😊 he noticed that the house was a little better and appreciated having dinner ready.

Ok, it's 8:00! Off to do my evening routine - see you all tomorrow!
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Lila
Posted: 03 August 2022 - 06:42 PM
oops, I meant teen left the dishes in the sink. But, then did put them in the dishwasher when told.
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Lila
Posted: 03 August 2022 - 06:41 PM
Nice work on your goals, SubC! I want to hear about your garden-born dinner! I have a lot of produce I need to use up, so maybe I will get some ideas.

The one thing that bothered me today is as soon as I got the sink cleared out, teen came up to "cook" and I told them, you HAVE to put the dishes in the dishwasher when you're done, and don't leave a mess. But no. About 8 dishes in the dishwasher and a few utensils dirty on the counter... I did get teen to come back and put most of it in the dishwasher. I wish things could stay clean for one day.

I went downstairs and helped teen sort laundry and put in a load. I ordered some stuff to be delivered that we need (toiletries, a few groceries, cat food) because of my covid exposure and not going out yet, and If I am being honest, laziness. It will arrive soon.

I used up the almost empty bottle of windex on the windows and one glass tabletop.

I went back in the den and sorted the last bit and got one more paper. All done!

I sorted some produce that had some bad areas and washed the good, savable parts.

There is still so much to do, but I am glad I got this much done.
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Subclinical
Posted: 03 August 2022 - 04:50 PM
Lol Lila!

Tag - you're it!

I also feel like we are working together.

The good food is back in the freezer (I need to make a plan to use some of it soon)

The chickens will be getting four pints of rhubarb and two pounds of tofu - not too bad. The tofu was actually free and at it's expiration date when I froze it.

My kitchen sink is good, but my scullery sink is awful. That is not a job for today though - my three goals for today were to do that freezer, worm the buck - both done, and cook dinner from my garden (coming up soon)

I'm trying to shell a few drying beans before I start.
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Lila
Posted: 03 August 2022 - 04:14 PM
Wow SubC! You are doing great and it is very motivating for me to hear it, like we are working together! Ohhh I hate going through the freezer and getting rid of old things, but then it feels so good once it is done.

I hate to admit this, but I have had a sinkful (well, both sides of the double sink) of dirty dishes for... a couple weeks. It is all stuff that can't go in the dishwasher. I have kept up the dishwasher but not the hand wash stuff. And it got gross, even though at least every few days I loaded the dishwasher and rinsed out the sinks.

Well just now I washed like 5 cookie sheets, blender parts, and a bunch of plasticware that can't go in the dishwasher! I am so proud of myself, I even washed out the sinks and the drains! I have a big pile on towels air drying now. Then I notced 4 frying pans on the toaster oven to wash, so I put them in the sink, sprayed them with dawn powerwash, and will wash them as soon as the other ones are dry so I can put them away and have space.

Also had my son take out the trash.

Will continue...
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