Oh, I forgot to say - Tatoulia, you made me so happy that you are giving your mother's beautiful wool clothes another chance instead of popping them in the recycling. Vintage styles can be really popular. You might try something like poshmark if Etsy doesn't work out for you. I don't know that they give you much, but like half price books, it's a good way to pass resources on.

The kids went out to dinner at a friend's house in this direction, so they are going to bring Bean and tuck him in here - which means I don't have to rush out in the morning.

I have 24 quarts of applesauce, 5 pints of frozen custard, one pint of dried beans, one pint of dried tomatoes, and four quarts of weak apple juice to show for my weekend. The apple juice needs to be cooked down more for jelly.

Fruit is soaking to make tea bread in the morning and I have only one dirty pot and one dirty mug.

I put the plastic tray from the cookies I used in the custard in the trash bag even though I could possibly wash it and set it aside and save it until I found a place to recycle it (the old place stopped.) this is the only place I can say things like that, because I know they sound insane, but it is so HARD!

I need to go take care of ten pieces of the moop that I stashed when I cleaned off the counter. That is my goal, ten a day.

I'm so happy for your date night, SubC! The donut didn't bother me at all! The kindness in your words touched me.

My BF is finally showing some momentum on his house. It's good to see him taking advantage of the hazardous waste days. I also noticed that in October, my mother's bank is doing a shred day and we can bring two boxes. He already has one ready to go.

I gave BF my grandfather's beautiful, nearly pristine 1940's leather suitcase. As I sorted through the clothes, I pulled out a few of my mother's dresses that I think I can wear after losing weight. All the Pendleton wools I put into the textile recycling bag for yesterday. But then i thought, why not have everything dry cleaned and look into selling a few pieces on Etsy? So we put the bag in the trunk of my car. I've never sold on Etsy but it would be worth it to me to see what's possible. These dresses are so beautiful. There's a floor length skirt that is wool and pleated and I remember my mother wearing it at Christmas parties. So I'll spend some time seeing what is possible in that front.

Hello CM! I'm glad that some things are getting done around the house! Good work!

Good morning!

Slept late because we were out late last night. Also just seem to still need more sleep. I'll need to be up early for Bean tomorrow.

CM and Tatoulia, it seems like we were all posting at the same time last night. I didn't see yours until mine was up.

Tatoulia, I'm sorry I was bragging about my donut when you are trying to cut back on your treat. You story reminded me of a time when my parents ran into a "girl" they went to high school with. Afterwards my dad said "wow, she got old and fat!" My dad is old and fat, so I said "whose talking?" And he said "yeah, but she used to be really good looking."

CM, I'm glad your roof is fixed! The financial stress of things like that is why we are trying to do a lot of big projects now. There is a two year window between when he wants to retire and some other income starting, so he will work into that gap if he needs to to make sure we can pay everything off. Then when he retires we'll be in a really good place.

Good job managing your purchases at the doll show and half price books! I love half price books. Books and Dolls! I used to go to doll shows with my grandmother. We had the best time. One year she took me and my cousin. My cousin wasn't as much into dolls, but she bought us each one doll from the show. My cousin had no trouble deciding on a Sasha doll (which I think she sold not too long ago at a good profit!) but I was torn three ways. I finally decided. Then unknown to me, my grandmother went back and bought the other two - one that was basically the same as my doll with very different clothes to keep at her house, and one for my Christmas. I have all three now.

Applesauce today and trying to keep moving forward.

Oh dear,

But I care! I am counting on you to make a nice home for my friend Lila!

Also wonderful memories for tot and acorn!

Somewhere near you there is probably a young person who would love to learn to can who has no one to teach them.

My date ended with a donut! There is another one for breakfast too!

We talked a little about retirement. Dh current goal is 25 months, but he doesn't know if we'll be able to hit our financial goals to do that. The economy is so volatile right now!

And we have a lot of big expenses scheduled or planned. Monday we are finally getting the wooden boards and steps in front of our house replaced with a front walk and concrete! I will not miss the slippery boards this winter!

Good to hear from you again, Lila 🙂

Finished a crazy first full week of my roommate's retirement. More going on than she or I had envisioned.

Had the guys coming to do work on the porch and then other things came up, so it was a good chance for my roommate to get them done while the guys were here. Like putting a pump that takes water condensation from the air conditioner so it doesn't accumulate where it shouldn't and potentially ruin the entire AC.

The roofing company also came and patched the worrisome leak which I don't know if I had mentioned was located above my bedroom. If it had gone unchecked whenever we actually got much rain (and though mostly we've been in a tree killing drought there have been a couple of rain spells), I would've had some of my books and other stuff ruined and a horrible upset of trying to clean up a mess in that already too messy room.

It's meant some added expenditures for my roommate and that's a rather nerve wracking way to begin retirement. I hope things will settle down for her. We each have our reasons for wanting to rebuild our personal finances.

I have been shopping less, though today I spent a little on fun stuff. Roommate came with me to the annual doll show I go to, so she could look at handcrafted doll clothes as we get ideas for collaborating on making and selling some. I didn't buy any dolls though, just a couple of vintage Barbie patterns.

After that we went to Half Price Books, which was more dangerous. I've really been steering away from buying books as I said, but today I bought one, a science book (college textbook) on Developmental Biology that caught my eye. I like learning that stuff, both as background for my sci-fi writing and just because it's fascinating. The price was very reasonable, albeit it's a 2010 edition but the basics are still valid for someone like me who hasn't read tons on the subject.

Also bought a DVD. But I resisted making any purchases from the sci-fi section and it had some cool books. Library, CM, library. And my roommate was wanting to leave though we'd only been through about a third of the store. So I agreed because that was wise, in a rare display of maturity, lol.

I do want to be good, though, because I will be enjoying my new computer - it runs like a dream - and I'll enjoy it all the more if I feel like I have been able to work it into the budget without breaking the budget.

Oh, one last thing before I post - Lila, I have thought about people reading this section of the website and I sometimes worry that I have overshared. I know nobody knows who I am, but I hope not too many people are reading what I write. But whoever does read it, well, I guess I just hope it helps them or if it amuses them I hope they are laughing with me not at me! 😉

Hi everyone. Although I don't eat fast food, my weakness is ice cream. And for the past week, I have successfully avoided it. That's big for me. I tend to visit my mother at night and then I stop to buy ice cream and cookies on my way home. Last week a minimally housed person I've known for years shouted, hey, you got really fat. I took it well and told her I'm afraid the weight she's lost found it's way to me. Then some drunk guy tried to get in on the action so I had to walk the long way home so I wouldn't pass them.

The point of the story? Not sure there is one but for the last week, as I've gone to mom's, I have not bought any ice cream. So I will share in your struggle to avoid going places to get ice cream while you try not to stop in the fast food places, Lila. I'll think of you for when I start to feel weak.

I'm back and dreaming of fresh applesauce.

I chilled out more today. I baked some cookies (had frozen dough in the freezer), deleted a bunch of emails to make space in my account, and transferred a lot of info from my old planner to my new one. Watched some videos. Now I feel a bit better. But nothing really got decluttered.

That all sounds so good SubC. I used to have a 1/2 acre garden plus wild blackberries around the bark years ago when my kids were little. It was a joy doing all that prepping and canning, trading produce with neighbors, preserving for winter. I miss it. Now part of me feels like my life is a waste. I used to have purpose with little kids who needed me and a husband. Now I look around and no one cares what I do at home. My only real purpose is volunteer work, which is probably why I throw myself into it. It brings me happiness. Being home struggling against the clutter, dirt, brokenness in my house, and my own weight and pain, it is not fun. I want this to change so I am trying to change my health/weight and the condition of my home.

I am trying to get things done but not having much luck. Feeling uneasy and slightly pressured about tomorrow.

So far I:
- took the dog out to play fetch
- cleaned up part of the dog yard
- made teen a sandwich that they then ate 3 bites of, complained, and threw in the trash
- got to 2 items cleared from the bar/counter

I think baked potatoes in the fridge are a good idea. I have sweet potatoes and a recipe for the instant pot that claims to make them really creamy and good, so maybe I will try it.

Applesauce is Jonathan, Cartland, and McIntosh.

They just started picking melrose and I'd love to go back for some of those snd some law Rome later.

I bought gala and grimes Golden for eating.

I've got 9 quarts canned - peels and cores in the fridge for possible jelly later. I might try some jalapeño jelly this year - my peppers are doing well.

I also got two batches of custard cooked and cooling in the fridge to go in the ice cream maker tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be a much bigger applesauce day - I did between 1/4 and 1/3 of the apples today.

Lila, can you make yourself a batch of healthier baked goods and freeze them? It's much cheaper.

I slice up the cucumbers right away and put them in a container in the fridge with vinegar and pepper so that Dh will just eat them for a snack. Same thing with apples sprinkled with lemon.

Bake a couple of potatoes and leave them in the fridge? They reheat in the microwave in minutes and are just as good as French fries.

Gotta go get ready for my date!

SubC, you're right, I have been trying to eat better for my health. I will talk about it here because maybe bringing it into the light will help.

I find myself, after a busy or stressful meeting or day, immediately thinking on the drive home, "what do I want? what am I craving? what sounds good?" I have to drive past many fast food chains on the way home, and a drive thru is so quick. I have stuck to being vegetarian, but there are many vegetarian junk foods. French fries from McD are vegetarian. Iced coffee with soy milk is, too. And on and on. I was trying to avoid dairy but sometimes I crave cheese, or fried food, or sugary things. It is hard when you can get a bakery item easily at a drive thru. So I make excuses. "Well I am not eating burgers or sausage anymore." But that is not enough.

And then the home produce gets old and not as appetizing. I sorted the fridge this morning and had to toss some things that went bad. I could have been eating fresh cucumbers, cabbages, tomatoes and squash instead. But that is more work and I don't really crave it.

So, for my health, AND for my budget, I am already starting today at eating what we have on hand. There is enough stuff here for a week without having to buy anything else (but the kids do not agree). If I do need to get anything, like bread for their sandwiches or milk for them, I will only use a gift card. I have a couple of grocery store gift cards. I have a coffee gift card and a pizza gift card someone gave me. I will use those if I need a quick dinner when my kids are coming over for pizza. I will use the coffee card sparingly and when it is gone it is gone.I'll try to save it for when a friend wants to go to coffee together.

Well, here is what I did this morning:

- washed a couple dishes
- wiped the counters and table again to make sure they stay clean
- took Teen's trash out for them and left a new empty bag in their room
- sorted the fridge a bit
- took a few things downstairs

I think I will attempt 100 things again today, focusing on the bar/counter which is very bad.

But mainly, I have to prepare for a conference tomorrow which includes a long drive. Today I need to sort the piles of (clean) clothes in my room to find something to wear tomorrow, and write up what I am saying in my speaking engagement.

What kind of apples for your sauce, SubC?

Ps hazardous waste day was terrific! Bf gave them his first computer to recycle! I forgot my electronics (mainly cords and an old mouse). He also brought the battery for his alarm system. All in all a very successful time together. Such a solid program. One more time this year, in November.

Wow! Lila! You are doing so well! I'm glad you feel peaceful about having a day off and having a clean area for family to come over.

I did no spend sept and I'm doing no spend October. I honestly cannot remember if august was no spend. It may have been. What that means to me: no purchases of stuff because it's cute, on sale, etc. I can get groceries. Planned into my budget is meals from the deli on the days I go into the office. That comes to about 15 each time with tip. I get the same salad with the same protein and the same seltzer each time. My house cleaners are also budgeted items. I refuse to fall victim to buying something to buy it. I unsubscribe from all emails from Eileen fisher and Talbots and other shops. The daily emails about this sale or that sale are not helpful. I stay off of Etsy. If there's something I do every year, such as a lecture or a concert or sending flowers for a birthday, I can still do that. It's the useless stuff I avoid. My pocketbook is much healthier now because of my no spend. How do you envision it? Once a week takeout maybe? Let me know and I'll join with SubC to support you!

I will probably allow some spending in November for my mother's Christmas gifts. I have no idea what to get bf this year as we've put all our effort into transitioning out of the business.


SubC I am excited about your concert tonight! Will be nice to get dressed!

Yay for hazardous waste and shredding day!

Lila, I'm glad you got to have a nice dinner with your family! That is scary about your bank account though.

I know you were already trying to avoid the fast food for your health - what can we do to help make the process easier?

Today is applesauce day and Dh and I have our first concert of the season tonight. I am looking forward to dressing up for something that isn't a funeral.

Apparently deer season has started. Dh friend is out in the woods this morning.

Good job with the shredding outside the home, Tatoulia! Very good way to handle it.

I need to do a No spend October. I have been so busy and I got a notice that I had under $100 in my bank account!!!!! Looked and was a bit horrified at line after line of fast food, coffee shops, pizzas being delivered, wow. It adds up and I am ashamed of it. So wasteful. I am not doing it anymore! Plus I can't afford it.

So my family came over and we had a very nice dinner together at a CLEAN table in a vaccumed home with clean counters. It was very good. They stayed a couple hours. After they left, I wiped down the counters and loaded the dishwasher. I forgot to wipe the table off but I will do that before I go to bed.

I am quite pleased with myself. I am surprized how rested and happy I am from just being home for a day and not doing ANY work related anything! I am going to be sure to take my days off more seriously!

Ladies! You are fantastic! Wow! Great team work and great individual work!

SubC I am glad you found a substitute and that you stayed home today. Lila! Great fun having you back! Look at you!

I'm tired. I'm working a bit then going to bed. Tmr is hazardous waste and shredding day.

Btw I am thrilled with no longer having a shredder. I can get it all done between work and the city days. And if I can't, I'll get a new shredder.

Nice job Lila!

Bean and family called to see how I was doing and I got to show off my clean counter.

All the clean laundry is put away except what is in the dryer.

Dh made dinner and the dishes are in the scullery sink, but I will empty the dishwasher and load them in the morning.

I am still very tired.

Dh appreciated all the work I did today.

Final update before dinner:

I hit 100 items! Whew! Then the last few things on the kitchen table got moved onto the bar counter for now.

A few items I forgot need to go to my car or downstairs so when I get up again I will do that. Then I will wipe off the table. Then will vacuum. Then will probably use a swiffer to spot clean the floor.

Then will wipe down the kitchen counters so there is a clean place to prepare the food.

Wow, a good day, I am tired but got a lot done and now I get to enjoy my family including my little Tots.

A basket, hmmm. That might work. I will look around and see what I have. Thanks.

I like to imagine sometimes, that there are invisible people who never speak, who come and read our posts every day. Maybe there is even someone researching hoarding behaviors, or writing a book about it, and they come and study us, reading and re-reading our every post. I don't know why that appeals to me. Maybe just to have our hidden faults known and not disdained. To make sense out of our chaos.

I am at 82 items now. The kitchen table is much better, but still couldnt eat on it quite yet. I keep sitting down to rest because it is getting a bit draining to keep looking at things and trying to find a place for them.

My trip was delayed, so that gives me more time to get things done before dinner. I have about 2 hours left before people arrive. I asked son to vacuum for the past week and he has been 'too busy' or whatever so there is dog hair everywhere. I guess I will get out the stick vac and get going on it. It is light enough for me, but the bin is tiny and has to be emptied several times when no one has vacuumed for awhile. I kind of hate vacuuming, but I need to do it so hair is not floating around when we are trying to eat.

Okay. I am pushing myself now. I am going to bag up the items going into my car and take them out (I already counted them) and put a box in the trash and then get those last 18 items done.

Lila, do you have a basket? You could put the brushes in a basket next to the fireplace or near the door to the deck. Or under the end table.

I have three trays of tomatoes plus two trays of beans and a tray with a few extra beans in the dehydrator.

My second load of laundry is ready to go in the dryer.

The sub did not send me cute pictures and videos of my afternoon classes. She sent me a note after school that she was very thankfully able to get an aide to help with them and that I have my hands full.

I am drinking a chocolate milk. Then I will wipe off the empty kitchen counter, put my glass in the dishwasher and start it, and switch over the laundry.

It turns out I am a very competent person. I am just letting a bunch of little kids suck the life out of me.

another update post, for accountability -

I am up to 75 items put away or tossed. Now it's down to the hard stuff.

For example, I have several dog brushes. Some work better for one dog over the other. Some work better for the longer parts of the coat, some for the shorter. I already got rid of any duplicates and such that I wasn't using. I think I have 4 brushes on the kitchen table. But I don't have a "home" for them. I used to keep them on the shelf of the living room end table, but they look like clutter there. Then I put them on the fireplace mantle, but again they are clutter. We brush the dogs in the living room or on the deck off the dining room so I need to keep them where son and I can get to them easily. Not sure what I am going to do with them.

I am having lunch and then will go try and get to my goal of 100 items.

update - it took me 15 minutes to clear 40 things! That's not bad. What a good challenge, SubC.

Admittedly, it was all the'easy' things (almost all from the kitchen table). Putting things that have a home into their home, and throwing things out.

What's left has me stumped, so I took a break to clear my head. There are some things to be put in my car, some things to go in Teen's room (they are asleep), and many homeless items that are not for donate.

I forgot to note that this morning I also worked on decluttering my inbox, which had about 650 emails in it, and now has 480. I will do more with that later as well.

Thanks SubC. Our dialogue is so helpful!

I saw an empty box on the table and walked around picking up random trash on desks etc, mail packaging etc and then found another box, went down to the back patio and found a couple things to add. Got a bag and went in the garage and got a few small things. It was not enough to fill the bin but it was something.

The neighbor next door, new 2 years ago, used to keep the "in between" strip between our driveways nice. Or rather, the grandma did. It is their property. I paid to have my side paved over because I could not keep up with the weeds. I suggested they also pave their side but no luck. Anyway their grandma moved out and now that strip is a trash patch. I hate it. I do pick up some trash and put it in my bin but I can't keep up with it. Their kids throw water bottles, wrappers etc on the ground. Now their weeds are growing like giant octopusses (octopi?) with arms all over my driveway. I waited quite awhile to see if this couple would take care of it or send their three kids (old enough to help, ages approx 8 through 14). But no. I cannot pull these weeds, it is too much. So today I took my big sweep broom out and swept all the weed arms, bits of trash, etc back into the strip of weeds and off my driveway. I know that sounds crappy. Not a very neighborly thing. But it is their trash and weeds, I have picked up all I can, the guy who lives there looks in good shape and I really think they should do it. I hesitate to say anything because the mom is emotionally the freaking out type. So enough rant - now my driveway looks nice and neat, even if that strip is there. I am considering putting a little landscaping wall at the edge of my driveway so it is clear that is not my trash patch, and to keep my area neat.

I also:
- unloaded and loaded the dishwasher again
- took out my bathroom trash

I am going to try the 100 things, SubC. Surely there are enough things on the kitchen table alone! I will report back. Hope to see more posts what everyone is doing!

P.S. I am very glad you are getting hired!

I think you should stop the volunteer part. Or maybe just do "casual overtime" which is working 10% over your paid hours without logging it.

It definitely includes putting them where they go!

So here is the thing - the counter was covered with a big drift of everything, so for example, I would see a paper clip. I would pick it up "1" then I would look to see if I could see more paper clips "2","3". stir the pile "4","5","6".

Walk to the drawer, open it, open the paper clip box, put them away, close the drawer, back to the counter - I see a bead "7"...

If you can't find any more trash in your storage area or around the house, go look in your xh's stash. I do not believe he will take all that junk!

I think I will put the applesauce off to tomorrow.

Ahhh SubC!! We are both giving too much to work, I think! "No one is making you work." So true I think for us both, even in very different circumstances. In fact my 'boss' had a talk with me just the other day about not havng to do everything, and going home to rest. We will sort it out. I agree the schedule I kept the last 2 weeks was insane and not healthy. I am sure I could have cut something. The big things that took about 19 hours last week were a training for my position, and a funeral (including my helping with all the prep and setting up plus travel to the gravesite). I did things normally family would do, but family is elderly and coming from out of state, and she was a friend, so I did it. I will need to be mroe careful about committing to this kind of thing, even if rare. I could have asked for more help. I am actually getting hired part time now so will be getting told when I am overdoing it on the volunteer side, lol.

This morning oddly I could not find enough things to fill the trash bins, not even one of them. That is weird so as soon as I am done typing, I am going on a search through the garage and house for items to fill them, if the trash truck hasnt come yet (I dont think it has).

100 things!!!! what?? Does clearing 100 things include putting them away where they go, or do they have to leave the premisis? This sounds impossible, but I may give it a try. I have family coming for dinner and the kitchen table, bar, and all counters are covered feep in junk!!! I have to have it done by 6 and I also have to go out of town for an appointment in a couple hours, so I better get on it.

Will report back and hope to hear from you all!
p.s. the Brio tracks brought back memories! My kids loved those!

1:20.

My sub has sent cute pictures and videos. My students are fine. They are having fun.

Dh does not think I had the stomach flu. He thinks it was psychosomatic - a reaction to exhaustion and stress. I told him I am only going to work two days a week next year. (I have been thinking about this, but today made me realize I need to do it.) he said "nobody is making you work."

My counter is clear. I did use the boxes. My sink is not clear because I need a rest before I empty the dishwasher. I can't decide if I have the stamina to start applesauce today.

I tossed a quart of so of random bits and scraps into the trash bag.

It is 11:15.

I am - eating breakfast.

I no longer feel guilty about not going to work.

I have done my morning chores
Finished loading and started the dishwasher
Started a load of laundry

And

Worked on the scullery counter. (Which contributed to the dishes and laundry)

I challenged myself to clear off 100 items. I got to 90 surprisingly quickly with little sense of progress (paper clips, rubber bands, thread, beads.. So I chose the ten largest items for the last ten.

I am going to keep working on it, but I have two empty cardboard boxes on the floor of the scullery. I am 100 percent sure that everything that is on the counter right now will fit in those two boxes. So, when the dishwasher is done, I will be able to finish emptying the scullery sink. I will then put all the items into the boxes so that I can use my scullery to prep apples for applesauce - one of the tasks for which it was intended.

After I clean up from the applesauce I will dump the boxes back on the counter and return to picking at the mess. (Otherwise the boxes will get stashed and a new mess will still build up)

Good morning

Lila, it is good to see you!

Your work schedule is not ok. It is not ok even for someone who is well paid, let alone as a volunteer! I know that what you do is important, but are you truly willing to give your life for it? Because that is what you are doing - one day at a time.

Tatoulia, we have a sub list - which I cannot currently access because it is posted in drive and my iPad offloaded drive and can't reload it because I don't have enough memory, which is a me problem - I should have printed it using the chrome book at work.

But yes, our contracts say that if we can't show up, we are responsible for scheduling our own subs. We are also allowed to use approved subs that are not on the list. All three of mine were busy today. (This allows us to pull in specialized people who don't want to be subs in general, but are happy to say, teach one or two days of pottery a year)

I have an email in my box from the sub who is supposed to be doing my classes today (copied to the directorship told me to use her) that she was already scheduled for 1:00, so she is double booked. I don't know what I can do about that, so I am ignoring it.

Here is the thing I am really struggling with - I haven't thrown up since around 8 a.m. yesterday, although the headache lasted until after 3. So one could argue that the headache was exhaustion and dehydration and I am 24 hours symptom free. (I never had a fever) I am feeling a little week and tired, but also like I could pull myself together and get through my day.

However.
I am feeling like that because I slept past seven - so it is not now possible for me to do chores and get to school on time.

I lost four pounds yesterday and I am not hungry.

I filled the coffee maker this morning and then set it to run the automatic program that would make the coffee tomorrow instead of starting it - so clearly I'm still a bit foggy despite sleeping ten hours last night.

My easy classes are in the morning. My hard classes are in the afternoon.

I think I got sick because one of my students only stayed out one day when she had this. I don't want to make other people sick.

I have an email from my heartdaughter (who also struggles with an atlas complex) that says she is proud of me for "taking the day that you need and deserve."

So I am going to try to rest and recover and putter and catch up on things. The equinox is about balance. I was not able to observe it in any way that is meaningful to me yesterday, so I will do that today.

I forgot to tell you that I took 11 books to the used book store wednesday.

Hi all, I just read about half of your posts (the oldest half) and plan to catch up on the rest in the morning.

I worked every day since I was last here with not a single day off. So I took off this evening and am not working again til Monday or Tuesday, aside from a little bit of work-at-home on Sunday. I NEED the break.

My house is really awful but today I cleaned everything off the stovetop, washed it off (a few spots still need to be cleaned with the special glasstop cleaner), unloaded and loaded and ran the dishwasher. I planned to go to bed early tonight, but some neighbor's car alarm has gone off 4 times in the last 30 minutes, and now it sounds like someone's sprinkler broke off or a fire hydrant blew and water is flooding the street. I am going to bed and hoping the noise quits!

I am so happy to be home tomorrow and will be checking in here in the morning! I plan to rest AND be productive, starting with making sure the garbage bins are filled tomorrow before the trash truck comes!

Goodnight!

Checking in. SubC I'm sorry about your stomach bug! And you have to get your own sub? What?

I'm glad you are enjoying your new computer, Cm. Try not to be stressed about the books. I hear you, I support you, and I want you to be not stressed about it.

That would be really hard CM.

I am sick. Haven't tested for covid yet, I think it's the stomach bug that is going around school. I normally don't get sick, so I am also angry. Apparently my iron immune system has finally worn out.

I have slept most of the day, but my boss keeps waking me up. I currently hate that we are responsible for our own subs.

Something more pertinent to the hoarding struggle from a couple of days ago, and I'm trying not to let it throw me. But it is like a trust issue setback, something that may seem trivial but has... implications.

I have attachments to books, some of which go back to childhood. In this case I'm speaking of the content of the book for the most part, rather than a physical book. There are a few physical books I'm sentimental about but that's not my focus at the moment.

Certain books have been like old friends, emotional comfort food, whatever you want to call it. Some of them I've reread so many times over the years I practically have parts of them memorized. I would not want to lose access to their content. Well, as you know, I've discovered some of them on the Internet Archive. And that's been great. Especially since many of them are semi-obscure, like the teen malt shop romance novels of 1940s-50s vintage. Or weird trashy popular books about crazy stuff like UFOs because of that satirical novel I want to write about that topic.

All well and good. Until the other day, when things were still rather crazy, busy, and emotionally draining, so I had found one of the malt shop novels on the Archive and was blissfully indulging in a bit of escapism (Calgon Take Me Away is good, but literary fluff is better). So I'm going along, and I notice a couple of pages are repeated. Oh well, weird fluke, I think. No big deal.

But then I get closer to the end of the book, and there are several pages MISSING or badly scanned with half the page cut off. 😲 This is what gives me trust issues! So now I'm thinking about keeping more books because of the fear of being unable to access them.

The Archive does have a way you can donate books to be scanned, and perhaps there's a way to let them know of errors, though whether they would be corrected in a timely fashion, I don't know. I've also considered scanning my books myself. But that does take time. Although with my new fast computer perhaps it would go fast enough.

When I was a teenager and young adult, incomplete library collections of a series, or books that were out of print and hard to find before Amazon existed, were a source of frustration for me. I had dreams of having a house with a really nice library in it. One of my cousins and her husband bought a house with a library. I was sad when they sold it.

Anyway, I've been proud of myself for becoming more comfortable with electronic books, and I'm not going to let these sorts of setbacks discourage me. But I hope I can arrive at a solution that is still efficient because I don't want to get bogged down or in an indecision trap.

Should be asleep, but I need a bit more winding down time.

After the post at the library, I continued to work but was having some blurred vision. Turned out to be one of my ocular migraines but at first I didn't recognize it as such. And I was so enthused about the computer that I just kind of powered on through, just pausing here and there to blink and walk around.

It went away rapidly once it peaked. But driving home, even though my vision was back, I had to face the setting sun, which thanks to the almost equinox time of year, was coming through the westbound tree lined street like it was Stonehenge. It was awful, and I was squinting and had my hand up to block some of it. I was just creeping along.

Unfortunately, I lost track of how many side streets I'd passed, and I came up to a bigger one sooner than I expected - and apparently was running a red light, because this other vehicle coming from the south was turning and they honked and I was like Oh no 😳 - luckily they missed me and traffic was light and no cops, but I felt really bad and really thankful at the same time. Note to self: In future, if the sun is that bad, pull over on a side street and wait a bit for it to set!

Last night, all of a sudden, my girl bunny was having tummy trouble. She has had a long streak without any. It was upsetting, coming late at night, and not knowing how bad it was nor how long it would take for her to respond to the medicine and hand feeding. She did, though, and I felt safe leaving her, with the boy bunny for company - it's sweet how bonded they are. So I got some sleep. In the morning she was better but needed one more round of meds and hand feeding. And then I sat with roommate's two bunnies so roommate could be up front when the guys came and go with them to the hardware store.

So yesterday then (Wednesday), more work was done on the porch. It was still terribly hot but the guys kept on going because they had to get the boards up and primer on. Because it's supposed to rain early in the morning. The cool front came in early evening already. Yesterday's high, 97, predicted high today, low 60s. Gotta love Kansas.

They have more to do, and my roommate has an appointment and company (today, Thursday) but I guess she's going to meet them somewhere. Meanwhile I am doing the pet care and being here for the workmen so they can come in to do wiring, etc. It promises to be crazy and distracting as much of this week has been. I get a chance I will tackle the sofa nest, which it has been difficult to attempt.

And in the afternoon, if it's not raining too much, the roofing guys will be here! 🤪 Never a dull moment. And it's trash night. I had to write things down because I've been having memory glitches with so much going on at once. I hope I do okay.

I want to check on my friends with Covid yet I'm so fried I start worrying that I'm going to hear bad news. Which is not that likely, it's just my fevered frazzled state imagining the worst as it tends to do. As soon as things settle, I will check. But I need to pace myself.

This was supposed to have been the week when things settled down! Maybe next week...?

A new computer and s quiet space - perfect!

Apparently Dd tested negative again yesterday and dsil decided they would stay at home. I don't know what precautions they are taking.

I have a full day at school today and then home to try to make good use of my evening. Dh has a fancy work dinner, so I will be on my own. Still have to get lesson plans together and do chores this morning, but I am dragging.

SubC, I hope your family escapes Covid or if that's not possible, has a super light case of it. I'm going to contact my friend via text to see how she and her husband are getting along. Hopefully all right. He is a firefighter so the risk of exposure is there.

I'm at the library downtown with my new computer. Decided to go in the genealogy research room instead of out in the main library - nobody minds, and one of the librarians is an old friend. It is so QUIET and no excess stimuli - I can feel the tension just melting off me! I'm glad I thought to just go ahead and sit in here. It's something I've pondered for awhile. I have a whole big table to myself and there's not even anybody at nearby tables right now.

So, I'm working on my directories. I was right about having gotten far enough along with my restructuring of them that I can just go ahead and begin transferring files over. I catch some more junk to delete as I go. Feeling so righteous and like this streamlining is going to spill over into other areas of life. And that I will once again be productive in my writing and things - more than ever before, dare I hope?

I think it confirms that it was right to make the leap of faith and get this computer - that more time preparing might be unnecessary delay. It's good.

At home, Project Screen Porch is underway. I imagine it's pretty busy, although this is another of those upper 90s days (which may be over by Thursday), so the guys won't try to work through the hot part of the day. I have a feeling they'll have some left to do tomorrow. Haven't heard a thing from my roommate and I had texted her about something else earlier. They must be keeping her occupied. Or if they quit for the day she may have decided to take a nap.

I got to watch the Queen's funeral service in the morning (replay - didn't think it'd be wise to try and get up early with all the stuff going on; sleep deprivation is not a good look on me). Then some of the procession to Windsor Castle later on. Will watch the burial tonight or sometime soon. It was even more of a big, what's the word, "production" sounds crass but I can't think of another off the top of my head. Quite ceremonial and symbolic and elaborate, I guess. And amazing. The King is pretty fit for his age walking all that way, too.

So, things are still busy this week but perhaps beginning to settle into the era of roommate being retired and my life feeling less stressed as well. I like that.

Good morning.

Ds and I looked over the train set (which is actually a hodgepodge of brio and brio compatible) and decided there were PLENTY of trains and the two mostly plastic Sesame Street themed ones and the oversized circus animals can go. The set will still take up two bins, it will just be slightly less over stimulating.

Bean and ds played with it for two and a half hours.

Must get moving. Never enough time...

There's a lot going on for you, SubC. I hope your daughter stays healthy. I'm sorry about the dog. Hopefully Bean likes the cats, and vice versa.

Going to bed. It's nearly 2 AM.

Oy vey!

Dd1's flight got cancelled. She is coming home tomorrow.

Dsil took Bean home for the night. He will probably have to explain about the dog. They are coming back here to sleep tomorrow, but I probably won't see Bean because I will get home after he goes to bed and probably leave around the time he gets up. I don't know if he will still be here Wednesday night.

Ds made dinner. It was delicious.

My entire great room has been taken over by a brio track.

Also my Dd1 has been exposed to covid on her trip and dsil will be arriving this evening to move in with us for a few days (or potentially longer) instead of picking up Bean.

Poor Dd1 will arrive home to an empty house. They do have two cats, but her dog was adopted out to a new family while she was gone (this had been planned - she loves the dog, but the dog needs to be active - the house had become more restricted with baby gates and the yard more crowded and Dd hasn't been for a run every evening in a long time.)

Bean doesn't know about the dog yet.

Good morning!

Strange dream about moving into a tiny overcrowded house with a bunch of children who were apparently mine but were not my children. I think it's from the book Bean has been asking me to read over and over. The large family lives in a very crowded small house.

I actually find the crowded small house in the book very appealing except for the laundry and dishes that keep getting worse as the mother slowly loses her patience trying to feed everybody.

Bean went to bed only twenty minutes past his bedtime last night. I was almost an hour past mine, and I have no idea how late Dh and ds stayed up.

I still don't have proper lesson plans and I still really need to work on things for my pottery class. And I still don't know when I will do those things.

I also don't know when dsil is planning to come for Bean.

I asked ds if he wanted a book from his childhood that I'm not overly fond of (Bean and I have been looking through some of the books) and he said no, so I will give it to dd and dsil or get rid of it.

I did not buy a "big daddy sheep" because Bean has been focused on the fisher price little people lately. I have two bins of (partial) sets from the 70's that I bought at garage sales when my kids were little. The original ones my brother and I played with are still at my mom's house because we each had sets and we played with them together and both loved them. My brother insisted the sets stay at mom's for the grandkids and not get split up. His youngest is 13 now - I need to ask for my school bus. Bean would like it!

Ds wants to introduce Bean to the Brio train today (that is my kids' equivalent of the fisher price sets - everyone's are together and stay here to make a huge train set)

Good afternoon!

Yes I'm just waking up.

One of our subway lines has been shut down for an entire month. It reopens tmr. I have enjoyed having the shuttle busses and today I'm going to ride the shuttle bus from my house to the end. Bf said he'll meet me and come into town with me. The shuttle busses have been lovely and wonderful and the drivers aren't from here and they've been so polite and nice.

This has been a very challenging situation because the shuttles have been operating in two pieces. One to the north with no service downtown. Then the southern part is on the other side of the city with no decent ways to connect the two. But from my end, it's been lovely. I think my neighborhood is safer with the busses, esp since I walk a lot at night.

I washed the summer bedspread last night so I'll put it away today.

Good morning! Up somewhat early this morning. Dh and Bean are sleeping, but I'm starting to feel better rested. Dh got his covid booster Friday and felt quite crummy yesterday. He did manage to take Bean out on the tractor for a bit.

My own boy is coming to visit from out of state this afternoon! Work sent him, so this is a treat. He has all day Monday with me and Bean.

I'm trying to figure out when I'm going to find time to work on my projects for my pottery class. I thought I would have some time this weekend, but I didn't know dsil wasn't going to take Bean back at all. - Not complaining! I'll take all the time I can have with this little one! Watching the glee on his face when he told his mommy on FaceTime last night that he dug up potatoes "with my HANDS!" And reading favorite bedtime stories together. those things are the gold in my days.

CM,

I was so excited to see that nice long picture from you! I'm glad you are USING and loving your new toy/tool.

I'm sure you'll get the "nest" under control. It seems we so often need external events to make us prioritize things - even when they are things we want to do.

Someone is chatting in his bed..

On my new toy typing this. The keyboard is like butter, so smooth and soft and responsive. Touchpad is a bit too responsive at times; I'll be figuring out how to make it slightly less so, in order to avoid accidentally doing things I don't intend.

Read back through some posts so now I know more what you ladies have been up to. Hope Lila and Road check in soon too.

Re the tabs - I know, it's sort of like hoarding, but I don't want to close a tab until I'm sure I've gleaned what I want to from it. This can happen in one of several ways. The easiest and simplest is that sometimes they're just quickly obsolete - the weather one from a couple days ago that I just forgot to close, the login screen for McDonald's wifi, etc.

Then there are the ones that I was interested in for awhile but have either found better information sources, or lost interest in. These are also easy enough to dismiss. They just have gotten buried in subsequent tabs so I catch them when I go back through more methodically eliminating tabs.

And finally come the ones where I want to hoard information, which I'm not going to apologize for because it doesn't take up physical space and as long as I am organizing it by topic and relevance to my projects it'll be useful. What I do for, say, a science article that's relevant to my science fiction novel, or any other article on my various topics I'm interested in (I try not to save every last one, just the meatier ones), is I use PrintFriendly.com to convert the webpage to a PDF then I save it to my local drive. (I don't use the cloud for my own stuff.) Because it has happened that I've gone back to look up something and the blog or website has vanished. The horror! 😱 All the FOMO!

Anyhow. I've been getting the tabs eliminated by deciding do I want to convert and save this or that, then either doing it or not, and closing the tab.

When I get rid of the old computers, Tatoulia, yes, there is a local nonprofit that helps special needs kids and adults, and they recycle them and I assume get some money from selling the scrap. I remove and destroy hard drives first, to circumvent identity theft and just because it creeps me out knowing years' worth of my thoughts and words are on the things.

It's good to have this computer project right now because this coming week is weirdly crowded with potential household projects that would make it harder to do physical projects, plus it may still be very hot for this time of year. The roof repair is supposed to happen, and (fingers crossed) my roommate may, at long last, get her screened in porch on the front of the house.

In amongst all this, a couple of times members of my roommate's family are going to be in town. One of them she will just meet at a restaurant, but one brother will briefly be here before they go out to eat. Guess what that means! I have to once again deal with my "nest" on the couch, which has gotten rather gnarly again in all the rush and stress of the summer. I was wanting to do it anyway, which is what is frustrating - seems I never get the chance in life to motivate and do something for its own reward, it's always because of external pressures. Sigh.

But I will be happy nonetheless to get it done, and if I can just keep the inner grumbling at minimum - and not let it become externalized grumbling, whilst accomplishing said task... there are items from the dining table because I have my old laptop set up there so I can finalize getting stuff off it. There is the box the new computer came in. There are papers from tax figuring and papers pertaining to the fraudulent debit card issue, and more that I don't even remember.

Y'all - I did at one time work in offices and complete my work and file things away and stuff.

WHAT HAPPENED?!

Those were 80s offices, for one thing - life really did move at a more manageable pace then. I wasn't expected to multitask, so my executive functioning didn't hang me up nearly as much (except for working memory and auditory processing, e.g., remembering and dealing with phone calls and tasks that didn't have visual reminders). There were papers instead of everything on computer - so at least a person could SEE and handle the work. Although computers definitely have advantages, or I wouldn't have just gone out and plunked down many US dollars on a new one.

Ack. It's late. I'm starting to ramble.

Suffice it to say, the coming week will be less tranquil than roommate or I had envisioned, but if all goes well, good things will be accomplished. I still haven't heard any word on my friend's funeral. This is turning into a strange situation. I hope it gets resolved. Speaking of funerals, I may watch some of the Queen's funeral on Monday, in and around the commotion, at least catch a bit of it; I'm sure there will be some inspirational moments.

My BFF out of state and her husband have Covid. This is also on my mind. Sounds like not bad cases but I just want to hear they will be okay ASAP.

So, lots going on, and lots on my mind. Take care, stay well everybody.

Wow! A lot going on!

Congratulations, CM on the new computer and on your roommate retiring! All great stuff! I'm glad you were able to get the computer.

SubC, you sure did a lot! Shorter amounts of time help me, too,

I went to goodwill, dropped off the items, then went up to see BF. We ran errands all day in the suburbs and with the car. Then I went to see mom, now I'm showered and doing laundry. I'm washing my summer bedspread so I can wrap it up and put it away. Kitty is sound asleep next to me.

Cooler weather today, which is my dream.

CM!

I am so glad for you!

I am taking a quick break - bean is awake but he is playing in his bed and doesn't want to get up yet.

I was a machine! During his nap I started the dishwasher, started a load of laundry, skimmed ten quarts of milk and made two wheels of mozzarella, (two quarts of skim milk and enough cream for two batches of ice cream in the fridge) unloaded the dishwasher and put almost everything from making the cheese into it and restarted it, hung/put in the dryer the first load, and started a second!

Why can't I work like this on days when bean is not here?

Because when bean is here I'm super happy?

Because when bean is sleeping I know I only have a short time to pack things in?

Dunno.

The Big Exciting Things have happened!

But it's been a whirlwind so I haven't had a lot of time to post, lol.

Anyway, I'm just going to drop the headlines and brief summaries, then I'll come back later to write in greater length.

Headline 1: As of Wednesday evening, my roommate is Officially Retired!! Woohoo! 🎉 I'm so happy for her, and it's going to be a lot less stressful for me. I wrote all kinds of funny retirement graffiti in sidewalk chalk for her to see when she got home.

We went out and ate a steak, which came with plenty of other yummy food - salad, potato - and we got desserts too. I briefly contemplated a rare glass of wine but I'm glad I decided against it because everything was so very filling I think anything else and I would've exploded.

Headline 2: On Thursday, we went out to do a bit of shopping and errands. One place we went was Best Buy, where I'd seen a couple of gaming laptops I was interested in.

I think you see where this is going...

One of them (the lower priced to begin with) was on sale $200 less than when I saw it a week or two ago - and I took the plunge. Typing this on it right now. 😁💻 It is so fast - no lag, no freezing of the screen. I'm gonna love this.

I wasn't all the way done with my file directory dejunking thing but that's okay; I'll finish cleaning them up during the transferring over process. And I promise that old computers will not be sticking around.

Thank you for the explanation. Yay on getting a good slide!

I did one load of laundry (sheets) and one of delicate things. I've showered. I've swapped out my summer white bedspread for the thin white quilt. Will do more laundry later.

Will have a quick cup of coffee, get dressed, go to goodwill.

Oh no, they want the big slide for the yard! They were getting rid of a little plastic toddler slide that can go inside. Dsil's cousin has it now.

SubC, are you saying they didn't want the slide? Oh boy. Please get rid of it.

I am doing laundry and will shower soon and go to goodwill. I have to donate the bag that is here and whatever is in my car. Beautiful morning here.

Bf went with me to visit mom yesterday. She was really happy to see us.