Nice work CM!

Sensory issues are often part of autism, but autism is not the most common cause of sensory issues.

If you don't hear from me, wish me safe travels!

Well, getting some done on the electronics front! It's tedious in spots, but there is some good. The old tablet did very well - I had almost gone and ordered another a replacement battery a few weeks back, then it occurred to me to check, and I found one I'd gotten months ago! Lol! The older battery may be kaput so I'll probably just take it to be recycled.

But it's charging and it booted quite nicely with the new one! And taking the cover off and getting it back on went well too. There is one issue, and that is that the SD card will go in seemingly okay, but it won't completely mount and be recognized by the device. I've taken it out, though, and put it into my laptop slot to read it and copy stuff. Files are there. A few photos are corrupted, but I'm not sure, they may be backed up or accessible elsewhere, and some were just screenshots that I'm not that interested in anymore. I think there won't be any major losses. Fingers crossed.

Then I'll see about syncing the tablet straight into my laptop for backing up, and hopefully that won't be extremely tedious - it can get a bit fussy checking did I back up this file or that. Especially since it's been 1-2 years since I really did much with it and I've forgotten where I was. But once I'm satisfied, I can have that new screen glass put on the thing. Maybe have the SD port checked to see if it needs soldered or something and work again (I can replace batteries and charging ports, but soldering circuit boards and that type of thing is above my pay grade).

I'm looking at that tablet being simply a games and reading device more in future, given its age and smaller memory capacity.

And now, to the matter of a laptop - my friend did my tax figuring thing and apparently I'll be good come next year, so I can begin shopping.

SubC, one thing I found in my files was a screenshot of an online quiz for Asperger's that I took - and it was one of the corrupted photos so 3/4 of it was a black screen of death, but the top was the URL so I might take it again. Some things I'm reading and pondering are making me wonder again about me. Don't want to jump to any conclusions - autism right now is receiving much attention, and I am paranoid about am I just thinking about it because it's "trending" for lack of a better word?

But I know things like I can relate to Bean and the fuzzy bunny! I prefer smooth slick furred animals. My roommate likes the fuzzy ones. It's funny how people are different, if nothing else.

Well, I better go scare up some food, tummy is growling. I'm feeling generally hopeful about things starting to move forward on my backlog.

My dd1 is a force of nature.

They were back here by 2. She relieved me of a big bag of produce and took directions for the garden. Nothing too bad will happen in the fridge.

I am mostly ready for the farm sitter and partly packed.

Dd1 came with me to school and my sign is up and my room is ready for open house.

The thyme is taken care of. I went to the first 45 minutes of class but skipped out on the hands on free time and the demo because I don't want to make the specific thing being demoed and I wanted to get home earlier.

I did not deal with the money.

I need to do dishes and chores.

Ok, specifically help (I really hope one of you comes by soon because the free floating anxiety is really bad and I am just randomly starting things.

List:
-Get ready for farm sitter
-Pack for trip
-Clean out fridge
-Put away thyme from dehydrator (running)
-Go to 6:30 class - last possible moment to leave home 5:30, last possible moment to leave school 6:15)
-Get to class studio before 4:30 because they owe me money and I need to meet with someone (back up last possible moments by 2 hours, insert dead time)
-Go to school and figure out how to print out sign and then put sign up possibly work on room. Back up plan, hand write sign.
-pick stuff from garden (why? I don't have time to process any of it)
-dishes

Somebody come put this list in order!

I found a bag of candy. I ate it.
I spent two hours deleting old messages from my iPad to try to get my storage use down to where I can use my word processing ap - no luck.

Good morning.

Dh noticed that I have made some progress in the scullery.

Ironically it was this morning when my brain is in completely overloaded catastrophizing mode and I feel like everything is horrible and out of control.

I have made a list of things I need to do before we leave tomorrow. It is enough for a week.

I am trying to just do one thing at a time, but I am having trouble prioritizing.

I really need my cousin. Dd1 took the day off work to go help load dd2's trailer. I did not have a sister - I had my cousin. We shared a room at my grandparents house every summer and lived ten minutes apart during the school year. Our mothers were sorority sisters (aunt married mom's brother) and good friends, so we were together all the time and celebrated all of our holidays together.

Ok, I haven't even finished chores - but the dishwasher is running. Chores. Help.

Bean got to see the tractor exchange. He was very excited about the new tractor, but his lip quivered a little when the old one left. He really loved that tractor.

I did not anticipate that. I felt a little sad too - that was the tractor Dh gave him his very first tractor ride on. It was a big grandfather moment.

Papa took him for a long ride on the new one and let him operate some of the hydraulics. He likes that it has stairs too, so he can get up on it "all by own self".

Room is basically done except for some information I have to put out - it is "surface clean". I took care of the open shelves and everything looks nice as long as nobody starts opening cabinet doors.

Good job on petting the bunny, bean!

I have to clean kitty box and take it and the recycling out. We are having some much needed rain.

Good afternoon!

Bean and I are having a busy day.

I got most of the chores done before he woke up, but he helped me take feed to the chickens and treats to the goats, and he pulled his little wagon all the way around the house.

We put the fuzzy rabbit in the wagon and he petted her back very confidently! It would be great if he is getting over the fuzzy sensory issues!

We played with toys and fixed Papa a snack.

My Dd2 left me three loads of laundry - everything she needs for the trip west since the rest of her clothes are nearly all in boxes, plus her bathroom rug. Her last load is in the dryer and I am starting MY laundry that I need to do today. Fortunately Bean likes to do laundry.

I loaded the dishwasher and ran it and unloaded it and am starting to load it again. Bean went down for a much needed early nap - he stayed up late entertaining the adults last night. Finally his father pointed out that it was already 8:00, the child hadn't had a bath yet (and needed one) and he was tucking his babydoll in bed - A sign that he himself is tired.

The new tractor is supposed to be delivered this afternoon (and the trade-in taken away) so I am hoping he is awake for that. If not, I may have to wake him up!

Good morning!

Lila, it sounds like your son is contributing what he can to the household. That is why I asked if he laid rent "in any way." His presence does make things more difficult and complicated, because some of the steps you void take with teen would be too much if an inconvenience for him.

I hope you thanked teen for making an effort with the clean up. It's a start and you want to encourage that.

I do remember that teen is autistic. It's such a broad label though. I work with high functioning kids and they usually respond well to clear statements of expectations, detailed directions, and explanations of rules and social norms. I just have to tell them a little if stuff that you don't usually think you have to tell people. And everybody likes to have their effort appreciated.

One year I had a kid who was working hard on social skills. She was very funny, but she would say things she shouldn't say. I spent a lot of time saying "Jane, that's rude." And she always responded "it is? Why?".."oh. Okay!".."sorry (other kid)"

Hygiene is often really really hard for autistic kids as a personal experience, but neatness and cleaning up after yourself is a more trainable task. If there is a sensory part of that that is a struggle for teen, maybe you guys could talk it over and find a way around it.

Good work sorting! I'm glad you found your planner, and I hope it dried ok.

Tatoulia, thank you for helping with the subway issues.

I'm glad your mom is doing better. Shoes do sound like a necessity. Good idea on the different colors.

CM, I am always impressed that you can do computer things. If anything at all goes wrong on my computer I just ask for help. And that is just software. I can't imagine taking something apart.

I understand about the loose ends. All the unfinished details are distracting and steal your energy. I don't remember where I saw the expression , but I loved it and made it my own - when I have that sort of thing going on, I say "I am being nibbled to death by ducks!"

I think our dreams are like paperbag skits. Our brain has all these random bits to file from our day and is trying to make some kind of coherent narrative out of them.

My house is an awful mess again, but that is fine. My day took a turn yesterday afternoon when Dd2 called and said she was coming down to help in my classroom. So I drove in to the classroom. We got the student shelves done. So, the student shelves are ready and the tables are clean and clear (my desk isn't bad). What is left is two tall open shelves, a very disorganized cabinet, and three boxes of stuff I brought home to sort through. Plus some notes and signs. Dd put some labels on my shelves too - her handwriting is very pretty.

Dd1 texted about dinner while we were working, and Dd2 coordinated a plan for everyone - including Dh - to meet at a restaurant our family really likes. But the wait was 35 minutes, and 2 y.o.s don't wait 35 minutes at restaurants. So we got the food to go - sil and Bean and I went home (to my house) Dh waited for our food, and my girls went to the grocery store for drinks and diapers. Then everyone spent the evening at my house (creating lots of dishes) and Bean slept over since he is here today anyway (which is why the diaper run).

So I did not go to bed with empty sinks, but there was a point yesterday when they were empty.

Today is dishes and laundry and mostly Bean.

Well, ladies...

Things are starting to get rolling on the changes. I'll have more news soon. This past week was rather ragged for me, though, just processing the fact that my uncle is gone and that only my aunt is left of the parental generation on that side of the family. Plus the aunt is definitively known now to have Alzheimer's, which adds another layer of sad. And there's only a 98 year old uncle left on the other side of the family.

Finally got more rest today though and feel a bit stronger and calmer. These big changes in the offing are generating ideas and to-dos for things that I have been needing or wanting to do but that kept getting back burnered due to chaos, uncertainty, and events like my uncle's passing, that would hijack my brain's thinking process with confusion and/or strong emotion.

I'm sure y'all are totally bored by now with all my tedious recounting of computer related things I want to do, and guess what - I have more. Sorry... but it does really help me to be able to believe that soon I'll be able to keep up with my thoughts and plans better, by virtue of data dumping more frequently.

So, I have my old tablet. It hasn't booted for some time. There are photos and things on it that I don't want to lose. Anyway, I thought it might be dead dead, because the battery wasn't even charging. But then I discovered it had - apparently a loose charger connection was corrected. Yay!

That's the first step. Still need to remove the battery and put it back in, as I looked up online how to fix it trying to boot but not being able to. And I have a spare battery if needed. As soon as I get it going, I'll back up everything six ways to Sunday!

Then too, my tax thing is going to be figured out hopefully tomorrow by my helpful friend. And I will at long last shop for that laptop. Money is a thing that I am not totally tight with these days, but it sure does go fast, what with vehicle repairs and at some point I'm going to need to deal with a broken off tooth. The root is all that's left, and I'll get the oral surgeon to remove it. And the tooth was in a semi-visible place so down the line I'll want to see if a bridge is feasible.

Anyway, all this stuff may sound irrelevant to decluttering, yet it isn't really, because it's loose ends. Loose ends are one of my hardest things. So if loose ends are starting to get dealt with, over the long haul that's gonna help.

Oh boy in the planner, Lila! Always something. I think that you are doing what you can with teen. They came back down and worked on the kitchen, and that's progress to be sure.

BF called upright after I posted and had a lunch that someone brought him and I told him to come here to eat it. So I had about seven minutes and I was able to sweep, set the table, put clean hand towels in the bathroom and I was ready. What a fabulous feeling. so clean and airy. Really nice. We split the lunch and the person bought him two desserts. Then we went together to visit mom.

I'm running dishwasher and need to shower and get to bed.

Time at mom's was good. Bf stayed a little while and then left. I was emptying boxes of mom's personal supplies and as I was breaking down the boxes, she asked me to save one for her sweaters and I said no, if you don't have room for your clothes you have too many clothes. I will get some hangers and go over to organize her clothes.

That's what I tell myself when I don't have a place for something. I say, you have too much stuff and I force myself to get rid of things. I used to hate emptying the dishwasher as a teen because there wasn't a place to put everything. So now I make myself look around. If I have to move something to use the other thing, and I don't ever use the thing I have to move..guess that thing is getting donated or if I'm using only occasionally, it gets moved to the back.

Mom acknowledged she's had a rough few days.

I'm continuing to not spend on myself but mom needs shoes. So I bought two pair tonight from Macys. One is a coral color and the other is navy. I frequently see her wearing one black and one navy so no more getting two pair of dark colors. And I will throw out the ones she's wearing now. So much for no-spend August but I'm still doing it. Plus I'm doing no spend September so I can't just wait a week it two to get her shoes. This will fall into necessity and not as a splurge.

post 3 -

I looked and looked and finally found my new planner!! and then I spilled my iced tea on it!!!! omg!!!! I was freaking out but it mostly got the cover and not the pages. I am wiping tea off my pants, couch, computer and planners.

post 2 -

oh, tatoulia, thank you for sharing about your kitchen. I admit to leaving it like that sometimes due to feeling overwhelmed too. I think Teen feels overwhelmed 24/7.

What I've done today:

It makes me anxious but in order to clean off the bar counter, I have to move things to the (clean and cleared) kitchen table to sort them into piles and then wash off the super dusty bar counter. I got about half the stuff moved to the table and just seeing it like that gives me stress, but I already decided I will NOT leave anything on the table tonight. Even if I end up moving all the stuff back to the bar!!

The piles sorted on the table are:

- things to go into the garage
- vitamins to put away
- dog brushes and supplements to figure out where to store and keep handy
- things to go in my bedroom
- cleaning duster to put in the closet (the dog took it out)
- pile of mail to sort
- pile of receipts to sort
- pile of paperwork to sort
- the box of clothes I bought for teen that they won't wear
- things to give back to my daughter in law that belong to Tot
- things to fix

On the counter there is a pile of pens/pencils, a pile of change, some plants in pots, the keurig and spinny pod holder, and a lot of really random items. And a thick layer of dust!!!

My goal for today is to get this done, or close to done.

I also am upset that I cannot find the new planner I bought like a month ago. I want to sit down and fill out September today but I can't find it anywhere!! I found the empty box it was in... ugh. I threw that away, still looking.

Good morning. Sorry about the huge vent last night... I was cranky. I find it interesting you both shared dreams, because I too had a dream last night. In it, I had a little child, and she was trying to poison me. She was giving me pills and somehow she was in charge (only age 6 or 7!) and telling me I had to take them. I could feel the pills dissolving in my mouth, and knew they were poison, but had to pretend to be taking them and then find a discreet way to spit them out where the child could not see me do it. It was a terrible dream. And now coming back and re-reading my own post, I definitely see how it represnts things in my relationship with Teen.

Son is in his 20s and is disabled, so has lived at home and has always help by doing yard work, walking the dogs, vacuuming and doing anything I ask. He is easy. This is his first actual job and it is full time and now I barely see him (he gets home at 9pm). So no, he is not paying rent, at this point. But he uses his pay checks to buy himmself clothes, shoes, got himself a phone, things like that. He is going to try for his drivers license and then I hope he can get an old car to drive to work. He catches rides now or I drive him, so I do want him to save his money for a car. And he will pay his insurance and gas. He used to help in the kitchen but got very frustrated with teen leaving messes for him, so I took over and gave him other chores.

Teen is high schooler and is autistic, which is probably the root of this issue, says the counselor. Hygeine and neatness has always been a battle. No amount of rewards or consequences changes it. They stopped getting an allowance because of this leaving messes issue. They know they would get an allowance if they would just clean it up plus their room and one chore, but no luck. Have worked with the therapist on this for years. Last night after I cleaned it they came up and cooked and then cleaned up about half of the stuff since I was on their case today. But then left 3 things on the counter and didn't wipe it off. So, it's improvement but, sigh.

Anyway today I'm staying home and working on decluttering.

I slept til 11:30 today and not due to being up too late last night! I went to bed at a very reasonable hour. I was having a very odd dream when I woke up with a start, SubC. I thought I was on the subway but it seemed like a long time between stops and then they announced we were express to Ottawa. From Boston.

There is a lot going on with public transit in Boston right now. They closed down an entire subway line with only a few days notice. It will be shut for 30 days. People in my company are fine; they can work from home. But this luxury is hardly afforded to everyone and I've been involved in making sure that people are getting the message. It is especially hard on disabled and elderly. There is also a problem with cutting out the people in Chinatown, who primarily use public transport and who were having their station closed with no alternative shuttle. So I've been working on that for the last week. It's a scene. this is volunteer work and bears no resemblance to my real job. But it's on my mind. I helped a woman to a shuttle bus yesterday after the block party and we discussed some of the problems that she is facing.

Mom is better this morning. Morning meaning 1130 when I woke up. I'll head up in a bit. I'm trying to get my coffee in before my stomach goes into a knot.

Lila, the way you describe the kitchen after teen uses it is exactly how I used to keep my kitchen during my hoarding years. I didn't care and let things pile up and I was blind to how awful it looked, right down to the crumpled up paper towels. I know what you are feeling. I don't have a solution other than to say, I used to keep my own kitchen that way.

I went to bed with my kitchen a mess last night. So while I was waiting for the kettle, I emptied the dishwasher, refilled it; put my cloth napkins into the hamper, watered the window boxes, and put everything away. It took less than ten minutes and I was reflecting on how I used to leave it. Drop something or spill it? Not an issue, I'll clean up later. And I was thinking about that before I read your post. I can tell you I don't know why I did that.

Okay going to eat breakfast before I go to mom's.

Good morning!

Nice to see posts!

Lila, anyone capable of cooking us capable of cleaning up after themselves.

How old is teen, and what do you do for them besides buy clothes? (I'm sure there are many things, I am just looking for a list) what things does teen do for themselves besides make food at random times?

How old is your son? Does he pay rent? (In any form)

Tatoulia, the picnic sounds nice! I'm glad that you have a government you feel good about. I wish it didn't matter what color their skin was.

Dh came home and spent some time with me yesterday evening (he had been gone all day) he helped me calm down and get recentered a little, and I finally slept well last night. I did dream that we were staying in a rambling old New England farmhouse on the coast, and our room was on the second floor, and there was a storm (there was a real storm here last night) and the ocean came up to the bottom of the window and started leaking in. But in my dream I got up and looked around the house and the first floor wasn't leaking and everyone was asleep, so I thought "oh, it's just my room, and it's not that bad, we can clean it up in the morning." And dream me went back to sleep - brain reset!

I almost finished cleaning out the second side of the scullery sink yesterday. And the counter is getting better. My very modest goal for today is to go to bed with the kitchen sink and both sides of the double scullery sink empty. I'm not sure what I'm going to do besides that.

Sorry I missed you guys today. I planned to be home just working on deluttering and cleaning, but there is always some drama or phone calls or emails or whatever, and Although I did get some things done, I didn't get a chance to ome and serial post with you. Hopefully tomorrow!

I am so frustrated with Teen. I know they maybe can't help some of it, but maybe they can. Every time Teen makes themselves food in the kitchen, they leave a mess. I am talking about simple things, like leaving the ketchup and mustard on the counter, spilling food and not wiping it up, leaving the empty wrappers on the counter, leaving the dirty pans and spatulas and butter knives on the counter, leaving used paper towels crumpled on the counter. And leaving food on plates and putting in the sink that way. I mean the trash can is right there, a sponge is right there, the dishwasher is right there. Nomatter what I say it is like this. And they take food to their room and then leave the dirty dishes in there until we literally run out of dishes. Then bring them up and throw them all in the sink!! Nothing I have done, positive or punitive or instructive, has changed it at all. So today I took ALL the silverware, dishes, pans et and shoved them in my bedroom. I was angry and resentful doing it. I seriously can't even keep 3 plasti plates in my kitchen... they all end up dirty in teens room. Anyway I told them if they want dishes to bring up the 20 dishes in their room and wash them. But it is SO inconvenient for me and my son. VERY irritated but this should stop the constant piles of dirty dishes. I probably will just box up all the f-ing dishes, pots and pans and shove them in the garage since I can't even have a normal life anymore.

I can definitely understand the panic attack, SubC. You are working with poison and your are scared for your daughter and you don't want her to be far away and other things are piling up. Panic attacks are so scary. I'm so sorry that you had one.

I started to go to a open market in Copley square today, just to poke around, and then as I cut through a park on my way, there was a mayor's block party so I sat and met some of my politicians and it was just so lovely. I really like our mayor. She's so good. My state rep was there?he's an ER MD who posted very inspirational videos during the pandemic. My city councilor, my congresswoman, everyone was there. And each of the positions I just mentioned are held by people of color. They are do-ers. What a thrill to meet them all today. A few of my neighbors were there, too. So after being there, I went to the grocery store and bought a few cans of cat food for my very good girl.

I have tried to call mom but her phone is off the hook. Nothing I can do,

I've showered and I'm quickly doing a load of delicates which can dry overnight in my apartment. I will likely go to bed soon, I'll see if there is anything good on tv.

I do wish I could get mom on thr phone, just to say hello. I am unwilling to walk up the street to see her. I want to stay in.

Hi Tatoulia!
Thanks for posting!

I'm sorry about your mom. I hope her mind clears up, or at least brings back the singing cats!

The raspberry syrup sounds lovely.

I had to clean up some poison and afterwards I had another panic attack. My brain was trying to convince me that I had ingested some of the poison somehow - maybe it got on my skin! - and now I was going to die. I knew that I had been very careful and not exposed myself to the poison, but it was a hard battle. I ended up wasting two hours watching an old comedy from my childhood to distract myself.

Then I went out to cut the shelf pieces for school. I need sixteen. I cut four and wanted to quit, but I told myself I had to do half. When I did the second four I measured wrong and started cutting. I realized my mistake and salvaged the material, but you can tell I screwed up. So I quit for a while.

I've done a little work in the scullery.

SubC, I love your cousin. I could actually hear the kindness and let's get this done in the words you wrote. And isn't that sweet about the time you threw everything together for her!

I ended up not going to the office yesterday. My admin had the day off so I wasn't affecting her. I was worn out from mom Thursday night (she is having a very bad dementia spell) and I was sweaty (I like to say humid) so I was humid and worn out and hadn't gathered my garbage and hadn't done any laundry and I hadn't cleaned cats box plus I had an important zoom meeting at 10 where I was in charge so I decided not to go in. And yesterday went well for me. I did three loads of laundry, I made dinner for myself, I saw mom (still terrible) was focused at work, dealt with multiple calls from mom. She's crying and sad but also angry and it's tough. She thinks the bank sent her a letter telling her that they gave away her money to some man who came in and said he knew a family who could use it. The only letter she could produce was one saying she's overdrawn by $2.10.

Then she called last night, crying, saying that now that her money has been stolen, she can't move back to her old condo. She said she only paid $40 a month for a mortgage and no condo fee. And now that her money is gone, she cannot go back.

Today's drama is more of the same. Today she was very sad and crying. Very sad. Not as combative. Not yelling at me.

I hope that she doesn't live too long with this sadness and anger. She deserves better. I don't want this to linger for her.

I'm just finishing up making my raspberry syrup. A nearby bakery makes delicious house made raspberry seltzer and I have the recipe. So I make a batch about once a week as a much-deserved treat.

I will get out soon even though it's hot out. I am wearing linen pants and a white shirt. I'll need to put on a bathrobe before I use the immersion blender on my raspberry syrup.

Good morning.

I put the laundry away last night.

I managed to sleep until three thirty before I woke up in s panicked from a nightmare - this time I had gotten the open house date wrong and it was today.

This summer was supposed to be a chance to rest and recover. I had an out of state funeral in June, I took a job for two weeks that turned out to be far more demanding than expected, a loss and a funeral in July, and now packing Dd2 and moving her 20 hours away.

My few in town friends have also had difficult summers - weeks out of state to care for a ddil undergoing surgery, a house hit badly by a tornado, a job change and forced school change for a child. there is no one to lean on.

Anyway, I am getting a very late start this morning. Maybe somebody will come by before I come back.

Guess I'm on my own today.

Neither my cousin nor my wanna have shown up.

I've mostly been picking at things.

The dishwasher is running for the second time. The kitchen sink is empty except for a couple of dish cloths. I put away two loads of laundry and washed a new one. (I have two more loads to put away.) The scullery counter is better, but you can't actually tell.

I sorted through my school cookie cutters a little and found some I have decided to donate.

I still feel tired and discouraged, but maybe if I sleep ok tonight tomorrow will look better.

Back again. Moving slowly today - serious shortage of "Wanna"

I did the chores.
The dishwasher is running
The washing machine is running.

I wish my cousin was here. She actually likes to clean. I can just hear her voice "oh lord (nickname only she uses for me) we have to do something about this!" And then she would just start. She wouldn't sound judgmental either, it would be like all of this just happened - same tone she would use on discovering I had come to visit and she was out of ice cream. Same words too.

Once when I went to visit, she went upstairs to put her two small kids to bed, and I tossed the laundry into the laundry room, the dirty dishes into the sink, and the toys into the toy box. Then I put the books back on the shelf and replaced the throw pillows and quilt. When she came down she said "you cleaned my entire house!" "I said "no I didn't, I just tossed everything together." And she actually said "that's the hard part." I wish. The hard part is having places for everything in the first place and then actually cleaning stuff.

Good morning.

My kitchen is a mess. That was the first thing I noticed when I came down this morning. There is so much stuff (mostly dishes and food) on the counters that I could barely make Dh breakfast.

Also, I need to wash my hair.

And I am tired, because I woke up in the middle of the night panicking and I could not go back to sleep. I do not want my baby to move so far away, But I want her to be happy.

When I finally did sleep again I had strange dreams - I think my brain was trying to process some of the bad things that have happened this summer and my worries over being ready for school to start.

Today I think I will stay home all day and try to create some order and forward progress in my own house.

I will comeback later. Hopefully someone will come by..

Good evening.

Dd2 is packed.

Sunday she will come home with the load that will travel in her car. We will unload that and set it aside so that she can return with the car empty just in case.

Tuesday Dh will drive up, get the uhaul trailer, and with the help of two of her friends, they will load.

Tomorrow I stay home, and hopefully rest.

Lila, I have a dehydrator, so I dehydrate cherry tomatoes into yummy chips for salads or snacking. I purée the extra big tomatoes and dehydrate that into a thin crispy bark that can be crushed and rehydrated later for tomato paste or used to thicken sauce for canning.

Besides tomato sandwiches , there is caprice salad, tomato pie (fattening), or just tomatoes marinated in balsamic vinegar with basil - nice over cold pasta.

I'm glad you have parts of your home that make you happy. Good job holding your ground on the table!

CM, I'm sorry it was too hard to get to the funeral.

I'm glad you found a good home for your books though - always makes parting easier!

Road, we miss you! Jump in anywhere!

Hi

Regrouping and leveling out.

I made a bittersweet choice not to take the road trip to attend my uncle's funeral. There has been too much stress, the arrangements for transportation since I don't drive highways alone would've been complicated, and several other factors. I watched the tribute video online and have chatted with my cousins via Facebook and texts.

Someday, when things are calmer, I'll be able to plan a trip, visit the cemetery, see family, etc.

The weather finally has gotten below hovering around 100 as it did for so long. As my energy slowly returns, I have been doing little projects. I mentioned those dolls in another post. Got them deboxed and the boxes in recycling bin. Mailed some duplicate copies of books to a lady in a Facebook group for an author of interest. That felt good because the vintage books are hard to find and in demand among fans of that author, so I didn't want to just drop them at the thrift store.

Have other projects in the queue, and will be getting back to exercising which got disrupted again. That should help with stress and energy.

There is much mess here at the house, which I chip away at. Some big changes in the offing but I don't want to jump the gun on saying too much about those just yet until we see how it will go.

SubC, you got lots accomplished! Celebrating that! I cannot imagine having a work space to organize and declutter as well as home. I do have an office, but have only had it about a year and it is small enough I can't have much. Books on shelves, papers on the desk that I sort and file every couple of weeks. But I don't feel bad about paper stacks in there because I think it makes me look "busy." If there are no papers on my desk, I wonder if they will think I didn't do anything. lol... kind of silly I guess. But I don't let it get too messy.

SubC I have a question: what do you do with extra cherry tomatoes and garden/slicing tomatoes (like beefsteak type)? I have eaten tomato sandwiches every day and eaten some tossed in balsamic, but they are getting to the point of needing to be used or preserved. I have probably 3 cups of cherry tomatoes and 8 or 9 nice big red tomatoes.

Road we miss you! CM and Tatoullia, I hope we hear from you today too!

We had a nice time last night. My kids are used to the clutter but son2 has a girlfriend who he brings sometimes. Last time she was obviously anxious about the clutter (and it was not that bad, just the counters). She always starts sort of picking up or cleaning something, which is SO nice of her, and I thank her, but I also feel bad that she feels compelled to do it.

This morning I noticed I had already set a few things on the cleaned/cleared table, so I intentionally moved them off it (onto the bar, ok, but it is a step to get in the habit of keeping the table clear.)

Done so far:

Last night - had son take out trash, frosted and decorated and enjoyed cake, wiped things up a bit after dinner, washed off table, mostly loaded the dishwasher.

Today so far:

- finished loading the dishwasher and it is running
- washed the cake pans
- made coffee which I am having now while I decide what to do.

I have to say the 'happiest' spaces in my home right now are my bathroom vanity so organized and clean, and my newly organized closet with all the cleaning supplies neatly on shelves with room to spare.

Good morning!

Lila, yay for clearing the table! I hope you enjoyed the family party! Also, way to go on the closet!

At school:
I got all the tape off my wall that was holding my tile's up until they dried, and a couple of nice school dads who happened to be in the building put the big ladder away for me.

I cleared my tables, but partly by stuffing things into my two cupboards that have doors and partly by bringing home some things that I won't use the first week and am pretty sure I am going to struggle to find a home for.

I need to:
Make new shelf boards - I have part of the material at home, part at school.
Clear off the student shelves (big job)
Make three open shelf areas look nice (another big job)

Ideally all the things on the open shelves would be neat and organized and in the right place, but I may settle for "thrown into boxes and stacked on my ware carts in the closet" just so my room looks decent for open house.

My new shelf that I am very excited about looks neat, but I got in a hurry yesterday and didn't bother to organize it - imagine you had a fancy shoe shelf, and a huge pile of shoes - ideally the shoes would be lined up in pairs with boots in one place and dress shoes in another, maybe even color coordinated. what I did was the equivalent of picking up individual shoes and putting each one in the next space - except, most of the people who are coming to open house can't tell the "shoes"apart, so I can organize it later. There are also a few "hats" thrown in because they fit.. "This definitely doesn't belong here, but it looks fine."

Today I'm off to finish packing Dd2. She is in a wedding this weekend, so we will pack everything except what she needs for that and for the trip. (Also we will not pack her food or cleaning supplies) She will stay in her apartment (mostly gone doing wedding stuff) through Monday (she works remotely on Monday). Then take her desk apart. Tuesday Dh goes to load the trailer and they empty the apartment. (Her bed is going on the curb)

Things to do!

hi Tatoulia, I went back and read posts. I hope you are feeling energetic, or if not, at least content and at peace today.

I am tired but I GOT THE TABLE CLEANED OFF. Yes, cleared and cleaned. Is everything exactly where it should be? No. But the table is clean and ready for us to have a place to sit down and eat together tonight, and that is something.

They will be here in an hour. I think my priorities now are:

- vacuum (the dog hair is everywhere)
- frost the cake
- clean up the kitchen

That will be enough. Tomorrow is another day.

Thank you. SubC, I'm sorry about your buck. So sad. I hope you can find another to breed. And hope things go as well as possible for your dd and the dog :(

I am stressed out about stuff and feel very anxious (teen medical stuff) but trying to be calm as possible and get things done.

The cake is baked and cooling on racks.
I am making bacon for teen.
I got all the cleaners and other items from the closet sorted and put back plus the cleaners from the table AND I have space to spare! Yay.
I put several items from the table where they belong or at least into the general area where they should have a home, and off the table. There is still a ways to go.
I put some food items from the table and the counters away in kitchen cabinets.

So maybe the bar is not going to get worked on today but the table is getting close. I have to go fry an egg for teen and then will work some more.

Tstoulia, I am proud of her.

I know how hard it is.

Lila,

You can do this! I believe in you!

Right now I feel like I am in day two of a three day swim meet with no end in sight. (All three of my kids were swimmers and they eventually were in different age groups with different sessions, and then some of them would qualify to come back for evening events and we never lived closer than 35 minutes from whatever pool it was - sometimes well over an hour.)

Dd1 is in crisis right now because she is going to have to redone her dog for valid and unavoidable reasons I will not bring here, but she is so sad, and Bean will be sad too.

Heartdaughter has found a tentative educational solution for heart grandson.

Dh is a wreck about Dd2 moving.

And my Buck died last night. Which means I cannot currently breed anybody for next year's milk. (Right about now is when I breed the first goat to go into heat..) the best option I can find is $150 and a three to four hour round trip - in my SUV because we no longer have a topper for the truck - so that is a nonstarter.

I am tired. But I had fun with Bean and I got two loads of laundry done (washed, one dried, none put away). As soon as he wakes up we are headed into town to return him and for me to work on my classroom.

hi guys,

I have gotten almost nothing done. I was sick for a few days and had to rest plus deal with friend drama. Now I am drained, but feeling better.

Tale is a disaster area, as is kitchen and bar. Closet is still not put back together, so things are on the table and recliner from there. I have not read your updates yet... I'm saving them to read when I take a break between cleaning.

I have to bake a cake (like, now) and have family coming over for dinner and a birthday party tonight in about 5 hours. I am slightly panicked.

What I HAVE to do in the next 5 hours:

- bake a cake, let it cool, frost and decorate it
- put the closet stuff back in the closet in an organized manner
- get the table cleared off so we can eat on it
- get the kitchen cleaned up so it's not terrible
- and if possible, get the bar under control

I also should vacuum and pick up so the house is not covered in dog hair when people come.

I don't want to do any of this stuff!!! Cheer me on, I have to do it!

Okay, I am going to get the cake in the oven, put a FEW things away and then come back and regoup.

Wow! That must've felt great to get three car loads of things to Goodwill! Even if it wasn't your stuff. Heck, it wasn't my stuff and I'm still feeling the rush of donating things and feeling lighter!

Going into the office today. Need to get ready.

Dd2 and I took three trips to goodwill - two in her fiesta and one in my suv. She filled the back of my suv with things for me to store here, keep/use, or pass on here. Including a trash bag full of things like half bags of stale chips for the chickens, and another bag of recycling. I gave her homework and am going to go back on Thursday to help her finish - we need to do the kitchen and finish packing.

Tomorrow - finally! I get Bean. I will take him back to his house and stop at school to at least get the tape off the wall and put the ladder away, and hopefully do a little more cleanup and organizing.

I have so little to show for my evening. And my day. And here it is 10 and I have to do dishes, get ready for cleaners tomorrow, shower, and think about stuff.

How is everyone?

I'm sorry you didn't sleep well, SubC. I have a lot of those nights and they are misery for me.

Another nice day here. I think I can get more done today without the list. But just in case, I am making a list. Will stop by again in a bit.

Tatoulia,

Some days the routine things are hard.

Some days you get a gold star if you get out of bed.

I did not mention that I baked two loaves of bread and a batch of biscuits yesterday, plus hardboiled some eggs for egg salad - but did not have the energy to actually make and eat the egg salad - I had biscuits for lunch and unhealthy leftovers and two glasses of wine for dinner. The first glass of wine was probably a bad choice, and it talked me into the second glass. I didn't sleep well. I left the kitchen a wreck.

I have finished moving my furniture around in my classroom. I have a set of clear plastic drawers I'm not sure where I will put. What I wish I had instead is a little tower of 4-6 sturdy opaque drawers that added up to the height of a 2 drawer filing cabinet. I started putting away glazing supplies and plaster molds. I finished gluing all the tiles to the wall but still need to go back, peel off the tape that holds them in place while the glue dries, and put the extra tall ladder away (hopefully with help). I'm starting to feel pretty good about my classroom.

Today I drive a long way to dd2's apartment and we sort every. Single. Item. By the end of the day maybe she won't want me to come with her on her moving trip..

Hey SubC! I'm here. I felt like everything would be hard to do today so I made a checklist even though it was easy stuff like clean the litter box. I only have to do the dishes to be caught up. Seriously the routine stuff seemed hard today.

Another lovely, cool night.

This no spend month could not have come at a better time. I need it. I need to do next month, too, because there's magic to the two months.

Second post today.

I filled the back of my car with (mostly df's) donations and the backseat with (also mostly dd's) recycling plus a feed bag of trash, and I put a small shopping bag of "goes to school" in the front seat.

I'd like to say I emptied the car, but I same home with a piece of drywall that I need to use as a pattern for classroom shelves, and a little wheeled shelf with bins that I bought for Bean's toys either here or Dd can take it. I suffered from "too cheap, useful, and well made" syndrome. I am stressed out from Dd2's moving process and probably should be banned from stores.

Good morning everyone!

Lila, how is the table?

Tatoulia - good job with the shredding! And how nice about the batteries!

Bean cannot come today because he is (was?) sick.

I haven't heard from them this morning, but he had a fever yesterday afternoon.

The end of my August is all topsy-turvy at the moment.

Dd2 has been approved for an apartment, but doesn't have a lease yet. She is trading in her car, but the new car is not ready and nothing is signed or paid yet. She reserved a Pod for moving, but has not paid or confirmed yet.

The current plan is that I go tomorrow to help her sort out her entire apartment, pack and purge some things, and at least some of that is nailed down. Then Thursday Dh and I go back again and we load the pod. The pod gets picked up Friday and she stays in her apartment all weekend with only the stuff that will travel in her car because she is in a wedding. Monday she works remotely, and next Tuesday she loads everything up and comes down here to stay with us for a while - our road trip has been delayed because the pod won't get there until at least Sept. 1.

Meanwhile, today I think I am going to try to drop the donations off, work in my classroom again, and maybe garden and bake.

Dh said he will get up and do yoga with me this morning. Progress is slow, but I do feel like I am moving forward.

Great work, everyone!

I too was going to suggest putting the grocery bags in the car. I keep only two of the grocery recycling bags with the nylon straps. Any more than that is too much for me. There are certainly times when I'm out and about and decide to get groceries. I pay the dime or nickel for the plastic or much preferred paper bag. Then I use the plastic bags over and over again by keeping it folded in my purse. The paper bags I recycle with my recycling or I use them to put my donations in. I will not allow the ones with the handles to take over my house. Frequently if BF and I are going for a walk, I bring a bag for him.

I used to keep too many bags and boxes. Now I keep these numbers very, very low.

Lila, I'm sure you are exhausted by the work you did today so I am hesitant to offer any advice. Just keep doing what you are doing. You are doing a great job.

Bf, now that he's not working every day, is learning a lot. Even when we took his boxes of paperwork to be shredded yesterday, he said how he's much more willing to get rid of papers now. The first two times we hired the shredding truck, he was being more discerning. Now he's built up some of those muscles that are necessary to decide what to keep and what to get rid of. The next day in Boston is near the end of September . He has marked his calendar! The city hires the same type of shredding truck that we hire, and we can watch them raise our bin into the truck before leaving. And the city recycles the boxes we brought the paper in. Pretty good thing! We also discovered that we can take our old batteries for recycling on these days. All around a great event.

We also took a box of shredding for his neighbor.

Today I relaxed then did mom's groceries (with a tote bag), unloaded the groceries and then did some of my grocery shopping with the same tote. BF will take me for the heavy stuff I need tomorrow night.

Another beautiful night here, so I can sleep with the windows open and ceiling fan on. Pretty nice.

Good afternoon!

Lila, you did a great job with your closet!

Dd2 and I have been working on the bins she has stored in my basement. She found a bunch of stuff she is ready to get rid of (and I saved less than a shoebox full for the grandchildren) but there will probably be the same number of bins because she is planning on sending some things from her apartment that she wants but not to move out of state back here for me to store.

I sorted the bags of stuff she already brought from her apartment to get rid of into donation and recycling locations and managed to only "rescue" a small stack of consumables - mostly art supplies.

She also inspired me to disassemble and recycle an item from my desk.

post 2 today.

So, I've taken a lot of things out of the closet. It's a "coat closet" and has a few coats in there. But mostly it is other stuff since we really lack closet space. It has double sliding doors.

From the closet:

- threw out a half case of bottled flavored water, long ago expired

- donated a scarf, a hat, a couple pairs of gloves

- moved some protein shakes to the kitchen

- found 2 cans of dog food, which I need and was about to go purchase. Will use these today or tomorrow.

I took about half the rest of the stuff out of the closet and sorted by type. Who knew I had 8 or 9 cans of compressed air in there??

I have like 50 or more microfiber dusting cloths. I don't need that many, but hesitate to get rid of something I will use. I might donate the oldest ones, then put half the rest in a ziplock and stick them in the bathroom cabinet downstairs for when the ones I have up here get raggy. I also have a LOT of cleaning brushes, swiffers, etc etc. I will sort through them.

Several bags of dog food came out of the closet so I will decide which dog will get what and use them up.

I am going to pick out the cleaning supplies that are the closest to being used up, and use them up. That should make room for everything I need to fit in there.

I am not going to agonize over the rest of the things in there that I want to keep for now. I think just this bit of sorting will make enough room to help me get the table cleared off.

Thank you for the help, SubC. Your words help me get outside the cycle in my head and think in another direction.

Why 10 boxes is too much... hmmm. Well, I guess I am imagining it to be emotionally draining to even look in one box. But, in the past when I was sorting, I would just open a box, dig through, feel overwhelmed and put it back away. Taking things OUT of the box and spreading it out probably would dissipate a lot of the overwhelm.... wouldn't it. Yeah I think it would. And privacy would be key. If anyone is WITH me looking in the box or sorting anything, I start to feel pressure, and I can't seem to get rid of things underany pressure.

I have not started yet today, but perhaps a good place to start this day is that closet. Things are falling out of it, things are blocking the sliding closet doors from sliding, stuff is just piled up, falling off the shelves. I will start there, try to donate a few things and beaten it up enough to fit the cleaners on the table into the closet, on a shelf.

I'll report back and I hope people come and post! Even if it's just another episode of the SubC and Lila show :)

Mail - you can circle the name and write "not at this address" and put it back in the mailbox with the flag up. You are not the postman. ("Real" mail will get returned to sender if there is no forwarding order on file.)

Watermelons are a problem. Just try to eat the food in the fridge before you buy more.

Can you keep the bags in your car?

Cleaning out the cleaner closet sounds like a good idea.

Not buying teen anymore clothes also sounds like a good idea -
Teen has clothes
Teen has few or no places they have to go, so pretty much any clothes are acceptable
You are concerned about finances.
Teen has a pattern of requesting and rejecting clothes - you are reinforcing that.

You can't sort ten boxes at a time that is too many?
Or you need to see it all?

If it's too many, that's fine. I was just thinking ten boxes would be a good amount to spread out in a room and group by category. Maybe the boxes are bigger than I am imagining. Once you had it out, you could work on it at whatever speed worked and lock the door between (I am a big advocate of this door lock. You need a safe, private, space.)

Good ideas, SubC. Weather is a major problem with sorting in the driveway or garage (which is not heated nor cooled). It is over 100 degrees outside here in summer, most days, so garage is unbearable. There will be a nice window in fall to sort in the garage, but until then, I can only do it early in the morning. I don't think I can sort 10 boxes at a time. The garage stuff is a lot of emotionally charged stuff. It's been in there for 15 - 25 years. Things that were my kids. Things like a ton of camping gear because we used to camp and I have not been able to let it go yet. But I am close. I keep wanting to imagine my grown kids and my grandkids all going on a camping trip with me. Hmmm. Other stuff that is from my childhood, or my exes, or... "might use someday" etc. I really have to get a grip though.

I like your question about the table and why I keep having to clean it off repeatedly. It makes me stop and think from an outside perspective. I guess it clutters up because we so rarely eat dinner together anymore. And that makes me so, so sad. But I don't have the time and energy to do it and invite my adult kids over. I dunno. My son who lives with me works through lunch and dinner. My teen is picky and grouchy. So there is no one to make dinner for unless I invote people, and sometimes they don't come.

What is gathered on the table? Let's see.

- A watermelon and a squash. There is no room in the fridge or counters.

- many cleaners and an aphid spray. The closet where cleaners go is a wreck so there is no shelf space so I need to clean out that closet to make room.

- a box with two brand new, pricey sweaters that teen begged me to order from etsy, that they then received and hated, but there is no return policy. They make me angry. I am planning to put them in a clothing tub because teen changes their mind so much and I don't have the energy to try and re-sell them.

- papers that either need to be filed or dealth with

- a couple books

- a bag of bags. Sheesh. Well now you have to pay for bags at the grocery store so if I need them but have no place for them.

- a couple dog things my dog uses, but not everyday, but a friend gave them to me and wants a video of him using them.

- some Ramen bowls for Teen but there is no room in the cabinet

- a little pile of office supplies like adhesive tabs

- mail that came for ex or for son who doesn't live here, to pass on

- a bird feeder and hanger my friend gave me. I dont know where to hang it, and it's hot outside.

- a leash. A dog towel. Mostly just random things with no home that I stick there.

Good evening!

Tatoulia, happy shredding day! Today I made squash pancakes, but my family ate them all.

Lila, could you use your driveway to sort out the garage?

Or maybe the weather or neighbors are a problem.

I'm guessing that your Ex's room is smaller than the garage, but soon it will be empty! Once it is empty, you can do a super deep clean on the surfaces.

Then you will have a relatively big empty space, so you could do at least part of the garage at a time. If you can get rid of 80% it should go well even if you do about ten boxes at a time. Then at some point you would have half the garage empty, and you could use that space to sort the other half.

If you put a lock on your new empty room's door, you can safely and neatly store the things you are keeping in there!

It sounds like you are making good food choices.

Where does the stuff on the table keep coming from? You keep cleaning it off - is it the same stuff just moving back and forth from another surface? Or just some difficult to manage category of stuff?

post 2, update:

So far today I have:

- worked on the kitchen table, filled a grocery bag with stuff from the table and took it out to the trash with 2 small boxed that had stuff in them, plus a squash gone bad

- sorted a container of spinach, took all the good spinach and washed it and am steaming it to eat today

- loaded the dishwasher and cleaned out the sink

I think for lunch I will eat the two ears of corn sitting on my counter, still pretty fresh, plus a nectarine and some of the steamed spinach.

The table and bar are still perplexing me. I don't have 'homes' for the stuff that is piled there. But it isn't stuff I will donate. I guess I really need to clean out the hall closet to make a home for things... but ugh, I don't wanna.

Hello friends. So nice to come back and see lots of posts... I read every one! I am sorry for your loss, CM. Also, I want to come to Sorting Heaven! I would love to have someone help me haul the entire contents of my super-stuffed garage to another place, so I could clean the actual garage. The floor is strewn with shattered glass on and under things from teen, bits of leaves and stuff that blew in from outside, random small things and bugs. Then I would sort every stupid box!! I bet I would be happy to donate 80% of what is in the garage if I could step outside the space and SEE it all. It is hard for me to SEE things if they are in a box in the same spot for 20+ years. Now that ex is gone, I could clear that space without fear of him hoarding it up again.

SubC, great work on the bathroom, the garden, the classroom etc! You have gotten a lot done. And I am happy you are spending time with Bean. We are not at 14 days for Acorn and about 9 days for Tot post-covid, and finally yesterday they all stopped coughing. I am going over to see them all today finally.

I worked so, so hard this week. Every hour practically I was working, even my usual day off yesterday, so that I can take next week "mostly" off. I don't know how other, paid people there take weeks and even a month off completely. I hope to stay home most of the week.

My kitchen table and dining room bar are sooo cluttered and piled up you can't see the surface. Those are the areas I will tackle now. Plus cleaning the kitchen. I am tempted to work on the bedroom or the bathroom some more, and maybe I will in between, but the first thing you see when you walk in my house is the table and bar piled with crap. And I am tired of looking at it.

I'll come back and share how it is going and hope to see more posts of what you're all doing today! I wonder where Road is?

Good morning! SubC I would love some of your delicious food right now! Had a bellyache and terrible heartburn all night. Just awful.

It is hazardous waste day in the city. I'm going to go get BFs car and go up to his house. He has boxes of papers for shredding.

I'll talk to you later!