post 3 - where are you guys?? SubC??

I made a cabbage salad out of the smallest head of cabbage and ate a big bowl of it, and am enjoying my peach iced tea. I got my son to take the kitchen trash out for me.

My kitchen is a wreck of peach and cabbage but I am about to go in there and wipe things down and sort the fridge. Someone is coming to pick up some produce so I'll put it on the porch for them.

post 2 today -

I opened the 4 boxes and sorted out all the produce. First I cleared off half the kitchen table, where the peaches were, and wiped it down to put produce on.

I took the bin of peaches to the sink, sorted out all the bad ones, then took the heavily bruised, overripe and soft ones and washed them, peeled them and started cutting them into a big pot. I mixed in a little lemon juice and froze an ice cube tray of those for smoothies. Then I added sugar to the rest and cooked them down into preserves. I just finished, and put them into two mason jars to store in the fridge and use. I saved out some of the syrup and am making peach iced tea with it, yum. I also ate a peach or two and my son ate two. I still have about 15 that were not very bruised, on the counter for eating.

Then I took out all the cabbages from the boxes, peeled off any dried out/bad outer leaves, and put the cabbages on the table. Then I took several heads of lettuce, peeled off any bad leaves, trimmed the stem, and put those on the table. Sorted all the parsley and cilantro, trimmed the ends and put them in cups of water to freshen up.

Sorted out any bad tomatoes, and put the rest in a box on the table.

Sorted out the onions and sweet potatoes, put them on the table.

Asked a neighbor and my other son if they want some of this produce, and posted some on facebook.

I have not gone through the fridge. There is more produce in there that needs to be either used, processed, given away or tossed. Yes I have lots, no I can't possibly eat it all. I feel guilty. I will get it dealt with so the guilt goes away.

I am resting now, and then will get in the fridge and see what I find.

Oh! And I talked to my other son and he has a special tool for cutting drywall that is on the wall, and he said he will come over and cut that mold section out for me! I am so relived.

"do anything." Good advice. The produce situation is bothering me the most. I am so blessed to have friends with gardens, but the abundance has overcome me a bit. So, first I will open the four boxes of produce someone brought a few days ago and see what is in there. Sort/put away what I can (cleaning out the fridge in the process). Decide what I would like to give away and ask some people if they want some.

After that, I will try and process what needs to be processed first, which is peaches, and will see what seems to be next.

The boxes and cabbages and bins sit there mocking me with their abundance, and I feel terribly guilty if they are wasted, so this is what I will work on right now. I am wishing for a few ears of fresh corn!

CM, I just realized that I never responded to the loss of your friend. I had, but then part of my post got deleted and I didn't realize how much when I retyped. I am very sorry. Even when a loss is expected, it is still just as much a loss. I hope both you and Lila can find comfort. Losing the people we care about us the hardest thing there is.

Lila, keep working on protecting your time from work, and honestly, do anything. Anything is progress.

If you have a freezer, you can just wash, core, peel and freeze the peaches, and make jam or cobbler or anything later.

You can also chop the onions and freeze them for cooking, or sauté them and freeze them that way ready to add to things when you cook.

I have washed two loads of laundry, dried one, made two batches of vanilla ice cream mix (one is cooling) washed and trimmed up some yellow beans and sliced a few tomatoes, and unloaded, loaded and run the dishwasher.

I also realized I am missing free mulch day, which is kind of a problem, but also, I have so much else I need to do..

Lila, I am thinking about the end of the day problem. I'm thinking maybe I will try taking a shower when I get home. If I lay out a change of clothes and leave a healthy snack in the fridge maybe I can do better.

CM, so sorry for your loss. I had a funeral yesterday and it ripped my guts open all over again. I came home and my brain was so fried (like SubC said she feels after work) that I just poured a bowl of fruity pebbles cereal and that was dinner. Then watched mindless tv. Bad habit on both counts... I will do better today.

I used to have a husband (not the current ex) who would do things like cut out the moldy drywall. When I was not married, I always had a boyfriend who could do it. This is the first extended period in my life with no one to help me and I really don't like it. It feels like another reason to sell and downsize my home, but that in itself is an overwhelming and complicated task that can't be done until and unless my separation is final.

Today is my real day off although I already have people texting me wanting to have a call or work on things. I might get back to them this afternoon, but I want my morning to myself.

Goals for today:
Do something with the peaches (your ideas, SubC, reminded me of freezer jam and maybe I could try that for some of them. I do have a freezer.)
Make some kind of cabbage salad and start eating it, and clean out the small fridge downstairs where I can keep two of the cabbages cold so they last longer
Find someone who would like a cabbage and some onions, maybe the neighbor who I gave tomatoes to last week

My house is such a mess omg. I cannot prioritize. The storage stuff still outside, the mold!! the rain coming, the kitchen... ahhhh.

Good late, lazy morning!

So wonderful to see all of you here! (Still missing Road! Still interested in Jules.)

Cutting out sheetrock is very easy - mask, gloves, utility knife, trash can. Replacing sheetrock is hard.

Lila, I'm not sure what to tell you about the food. None of that is shelf stable. You need a freezer or dehydrator, or you need to can. The easiest thing would be to find somebody who cans and give them the peaches for halves. Onions can be chopped and frozen or dried. (If it's very hot and not too humid there, you can dry them on a screen in your car or garage - but you car or garage will smell like onion for a long time.

Oh! Actually, if it's very hot and not humid there, you can try pureeing the peaches (bruises and all), cooking them down into a thick sauce and drying them on parchment paper on a cookie tray to make fruit leather - Park the car in the sun and crack the windows. Only try a little bit the first time though - I don't know your climate and it could go badly. You can do the same thing in an open oven, but it heats up your house - so it's a winter thing.

There are some good Indian recipes that use cabbage and lentils - maybe search for something you like if that interests you?

Tatoulia, I did enjoy the compliment, and we have a number of very good teachers who could each be "the best" for a particular kid - including me, but our high school English teacher is in a class all by herself. It's not just that she is fantastic at teaching English or loves her job. She is single, she rents a room from a friend, she has no pets and as far as we know no romantic relationships. These kids are her life.

CM, I have a meter square, cm gridded commercial paper cutting table with a blade arm in my basement. I understand completely.

I am really struggling with the executive function issues. I wasted my whole evening yesterday watching videos. I don't have time for this. The problem is that I get home and my brain is too cooked from school to do anything. I know what I should be doing, and there are tasks like picking beans that are no more mentally challenging than videos, but I sit down on the couch because I am tired, and then I get a snack because I am hungry and Dh isn't here and I don't have the energy to make dinner, and then I just stay there because I don't have the mental and emotional bandwidth to get myself out to the garden.

I have got to find a way to make it easier to make good decisions in the evening before this becomes a deeper groove or I will never stop falling into it.

Hello ladies

It's been quite a week. My friend died Wednesday morning. And the Queen yesterday, which is now going to be connected in my mind. It's also been 25 years since Princess Diana died and that was in this time of the year too, and Mother Teresa. Plus the anniversary of 9/11 this weekend. A lot of things to ponder. And I haven't heard yet when my friend's funeral will be. I'm guessing next week.

Tatoulia I shred my address from papers and mail too. I remember when I used to go to the local clutter club support group, there was lively debate over whether this was necessary. I don't think either side managed to change the other's mind, lol.

You are tending more and more towards minimalism in the sense of simplicity and not owning an item like a shredder if you can find a way not to. I've always been the type, since I was first out in the workforce and could buy things, to think how cool it was to own my own equipment, from stapler to 3 hole punch, filing cabinets, and eventually things like a guillotine paper cutter, a binding machine... at one point I even had a medium sized copy machine that a business was going to throw out. It had some little part broken and I thought I could fix it but that proved to be more trouble than it was worth. I ended up taking the whole thing to be recycled.

Many years ago, too, my ex boyfriend was going through some sort of existential crisis I suppose. This was all around the time we were breaking up. He sold his house because he didn't like having a mortgage and being tied down. Any wonder why marriage, home, kids, and so on were not attractive to such a man? 🙄 Anyway, he was deciding to go very minimalist, and getting rid of his possessions, and making plans to leave for a second master's degree in a different state, and to sell his car.

In hindsight I should've seen it coming when he moved into the house but bought hardly any furniture, only one chair for himself, no couch where we could even sit together, and in the winter wouldn't even turn the thermostat up to make me comfortable. I felt frozen out in more ways than one.

Why I'm infodumping all of this is that it pertains to my relationship with stuff over the years. After the breakup, I bought many things out of a sense of NOT wanting to experience that feeling of miserliness and deprivation, and the rejection by him of all things family and domestic oriented.

And now, with the passage of time, of course, I have come to reckon with the contradictory trends within myself. I feel drawn towards minimalism - but it must be MY minimalism, completely disassociated from his closed off style. It needs to feel fresh and warm and creatively life affirming. Or else obviously I'll hate it and rebel against it.

I'm working on figuring all this out! 😅 I am looking with a more critical eye at the equipment I've thought I needed to have my own versions of, and whether I could get by without some of it, based on frequency of use, availability of public versions (such as copy machines, haha). Some things have gotten smaller and more compact in 30-plus years too. That helps. Then you factor in Covid and the way it affected being able to access facilities such as the library, and that can make a person want to go into zombie apocalypse survival mode and hang onto things to feel self sufficient. Talk about conflicting forces!

Whoa, I didn't set out to ramble so much but oh well. I think I'll wrap this up for tonight and I'm sure I'll be back fairly soon to chat more.

Lila, I'm glad you are leaning towards cutting out the sheetrock, definitely wear a protective mask when you do. And I hope your laptop situation resolves satisfactorily and with no data loss or frustrations. I haven't bought my new one yet because there's been so much going on. But hopefully soon. I still have some things to back up and directories to purge junk files from so I can be puttering with that in the meantime.

SubC, glad school seems to be off to a good start.

Hi everyone.

SubC I shred everything with my name. Habit. Not sure of the reason. Really no reason. I just do. Any box in the recycling (although I receive minimal packages) I take the labels off and shred. Again just to do it. I don't know if it's privacy or not having people identify my trash with me or just what but I do it. Othing private about my address. It's all over the internet and my deed is in my name not a trust. But still I shred. Habit over 30 years in the making.

Lila take good care of yourself. And SubC you are the best teacher. Enjoy the compliment

Thanks SubC, I think I should cut it out too. I don't really know how. I will look on youtube and then if it's not too beyond me, and I have the tools, I will do it. But it needs to be done asap and I am so tired and need a break.

What would you do with:

1) a large box of peaches, lots overripe and/or bruised? No way I can eat them all. I don't can anymore. Please give me the simplest or best way I can save them for something.

2) 6 heads of cabbage. I don't even know what to do with these as much as I enjoy eating cole slaw, or steamed cabbage. I am vegetarian so no bacon.

3) several boxes of onions. I want to use these but I really don't have a cool area in my house where they would keep in this summer heat.

If anyone (SubC, you are good at this kind of thing) can tell me how to not let this stuff go to waste I would appreciate it!

Hi Lila!

I would cut the Sheetrock out. We painted bleached and then Kilz over some when we moved in here and it slowly bled out.

Nice job o the trash and the kitchen!

Don't forget to rest.

Today a middle school boy told me "you are my favorite teacher in this whole school!" And I said "that's because I get to teach the super fun classes." And he said "also because you are the best teacher." He's wrong - but he's too young for High school English and I'll take the win as a matter of opinion on some of the others.

It's looking like a good year.

Finished my taping, didn't get to the cupboard. Left school at 4:33.

SubC, so sorry about the glass. I know that scenario all too well, and wouldn't wish it on anyone, even once.

CM, it's so hard when our friends pass. Sad for us, left behind.

There IS black mold at the base of the sheetrock where it got wet.(colored black, don't know if that makes it 'black mold')? I sprayed bleach on it. I don't know if I need to do anything else - have someone cut it out? spray it again? advice helpful, I am broke but do want to be careful of our health.

Tatoulia, the pyrex is just the thick, plain glass that is round and has a plastic lid. I liked it because I don't like to microwave things in plastic. I have all my pyrex boxed up because of Teen's glass-throwing rages, so this one must have been several years old.

I was pretty sick SubC and then tried to go back to work Tues-Thurs, and am now exhausted. Home for the day, then a funeral, very sad. I miss posting here and hope to have more time now.

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, very behind from being sick. I got my new planner out and worked on it, and am 80% done transferring info and stuff from the old planner. I hope to finish that today.

My laptop is not working so today's goal is to back up the files and then mail it off for warranty repair. I have been trying to back it up all morning with poor luck. It freezes. Will try again. Sometimes if I shut it down and leave it for awhile, it will work for a bit when I turn it back on. So annoying.

Also my kitchen got really awful, so this morning I unloaded the dishwasher, loaded it, it is running, and I washed out the gross sinks. There are still cookie sheets and frying pans in the sink to wash by hand, but I rinsed them and moved them from one side to the other so I could wash out the nasty sinks. I will wash them later.

I also went out and finished filling the second garbage bin and put both out to the road to be picked up today. Once they are empty I probably can almost fill one of them again, already, with stuff from the water heater room that did not fit in the full garbage bins. I am deciding what to do about the mold before I put the rest of the tools and things back in there, but, it is going to rain in 2 days so I have to get it done fast.

I am supposed to have "off" today but I really have to make some calls and emails for work. Maybe an hour's worth of work.

Teen has a music lesson they begged for this afternoon but may be refusing to go. I would like to go speak with the manager and see if there is a way to work this out. They want me to pay for 3 months up front but that is a lot of money I don't have, especially if they have an autistic meltdown and won't even go.

We also have the bug people coming to spray for wasps today. I am deathly allergic, literally, so we have to spray for them when they start getting in the eaves.

I am tired already. Ok, going to try to back up the laptop again. I hope to come and serial post about all the great progress I make today.

Good morning all!

Tatoulia,

Thank you for coming by!

Do you shred everything with your address on it?

Isn't your address a matter of public record? I remember when I was a kid looking up my friend's addresses in the phone book - you just had to know their dad's name.

You can go to my county website, type in my name, and get my address, my property tax records, and pictures of my yard. If you know my address (like from seeing my mailbox on the road) you can get my name and those other things.

Last day of the first week of school. Hopefully I will meet the rest of my new kids today.

I forgot how tired I get. I keep trying to plan to do something in the evening, but then I just watch videos. Very bad habit. I really need to not establish that. I also have not yet managed to leave school by 4:30. (My last class ends at 3:30 each day) this is something I definitely need to work on. I am working on getting the kids to do as much cleanup as possible.

My house is getting more disordered, but I have managed to keep up with the trash. I am also keeping up with my classroom. Today at lunch I expect to finish the last big job on my summer prep list (securing some small sorting shelves to their supports with double sided tape so they don't come loose and dump things.) and after that I'm going to try to spend ten or 15 minutes a day cleaning out and organizing that last cabinet.

I wish you guys would post more. I miss you. Hopefully you are all busy in a good way and not staying away because you are overwhelmed or discouraged.

My paper shredder has been on its last legs for a while. It jams all the time. So I've made the decision to recycle what parts of it I can, and I may not replace it. I'm thinking I'll bring stuff to work and use our manual shredder. We also have bins to for commercial shredding but I do not want to cost the company money. If this idea doesn't work out, I'll buy a new shredder

All I have to do is tear my address out of any envelope and bring that to work. I'm in the office two days each week, which ought to be enough. I don't get bank statements or anything like that. I think I can make this work. One less thing in my home.

Very stressful couple of days. Going to shower soon.

Forgot to add - definitely had an increase in paper load yesterday, but it is all in active use. I hope to purge more paper this weekend when I do further planning.

Good morning!

Tatoulia, Dd2 loves her new city/geography/weather and her new job. Dating seems to be going well. She doesn't call much. 🙂 (she's in her mid 20's, she's supposed to be too busy for her parents!)

I left my classroom in good order yesterday. I will try to do it again. I dropped off the recycling before school. The class I'm taking went well. I didn't try to throw in the studio, I just worked on decorating a rather involved piece and relaxed. I will need to throw more this weekend.

I did get a load of dishes run yesterday, and Dh apparently got take out for dinner, so the house is a little bit better.

Two of my former students came by- a college sophomore whose little sister was attending for her first day, and one who graduated in 22. They both looked happy.

It was good to see my kids again. My seniors are going to be a mix of dragging their feet and tugging at the kite string.

I'm already seeing that I still have an hours of sleep challenge.

Must go!

Sorry I missed that. Kudos to your daughter! How is your other daughter settling in?

Thanks CM. School went pretty well. Too tired and to late for details.

Glad you got the debit card fixed.

Tatoulia, it was my Dd - his mommy built him the castle. And an airplane made from a box and tinfoil and cardboard tubes. She gets her imagination from me and her skills from Dh.

Lila, what does the Pyrex dish look like? Is it clear glass or is it milk glass with a pattern?

Yes I love Pyrex. I don't collect it, per se. I only have a couple of dishes and I use them. Same holds true for my coffee mugs. I use them. Every single day.

Of course your story grossed me out if I think of it.

SubC good job coping with the wine and glass. Never an easy moment, is there? I love what your husband made for your grandson! WOW.

Cm I'm sorry for the emotional upheaval.

Cleaners came today, instead of Wednesday, and not a moment too soon. So I have a nice clean bed for tonight.

I voted in our primary today. Both of the district attorney candidates are problematic and so I left it blank.

Very quick

Lila, do take precautions in case there is mold. Recently read a very sad cautionary tale of some folks with toxic mold issues. It can even cause madness in addition to the physical effects.

SubC I hope you have the best school year ever. The page seems to be loading okay - I always have to fiddle with it on my tablet but then it resizes itself. At first it comes up in very tiny print.

Hi Tatoulia, Road, and Jules. Hope all is well with you.

I finally got my new debit card activated; had to have the bank help.

My 98 year old lady from church is in her final days on this earth. 😥 I know she will be going to a better place but it still feels sad. Especially since the Covid years and crazy stressful events made it hard to visit her.

I'm just trying to keep my head above water with these emotional things. Still big changes in daily life coming soon, and now that I have the debit card working I will be able to get the computer, though I may wait until after my friend's funeral to level out a bit.

Still hot weather here too. Possibly a brief cooling off on the weekend. I don't want it to go too quickly from summer to chilly fall. But the icky hot could end and that wouldn't break my heart.

Good morning.

Slept as well as could be expected, no crazy dreams to report (or any that I remember.)

Lila, I would never have guessed green bean casserole.

Did the friend come? How is the room?

I am finally starting to find my excited about school.

Last night was just really hard. I didn't need to be reminded about how far I still have to go. And the housekeeping falls apart so fast.

But I will make it through the week. And I know I will be excited when I see my kids. I'm sitting here this morning drinking my coffee with two tiny animals and a mushroom painting that have watched over me all summer and thinking about my seniors from last year and vowing to enjoy every minute with the ones I have this year, and wondering who will show up in my classroom this week to make me say "I can't retire until x graduates." And also, I am remembering that even though my home is a mess, my classroom is awesome this year! (Although I still need to organize that one cupboard..)

Ok, things to do, people to see, worlds to conquer...

This is just a wail.

Kitchen trashed, dishes backed up, school planning stuff everywhere.

I have one class that uses books and materials that are mine, so I keep them all at home. In a cupboard in the scullery.

Got everything else ready and Decided to have a glass of wine to relax me while I packed those things.

Put the wine on the edge (only available part) of the scullery counter. Turned and knocked it for a loop with a cardboard tube I was moving.

Wine and shattered - really really shattered, like splinters, glass everywhere. In a room with stuff all over the floor. An hour later the stuff is packed, the scullery floor may be safe (I keep thinking of Bean's little naked feet!) it has been picked over, wiped up, mopped, and vacuumed. I have two boxes of "check for glass" in the laundry room, three fewer cleaning rags (embedded glass splinters), and one fewer wine glass.

I am drinking my glass of wine. I have to get up for a long day in 6.5 hours.

I feel like it used to be more fun and less hard, but I honestly can't remember any more.

Dd built Bean an indoor climbing castle from scrap wood and an old bed. It's amazing. He loves it.

Ok, tomorrow is another day. And the first day of school.

So glad I could give a helpful idea, Tatoulia! Aww SubC, Bean's day is so cute to read, even when he has a tired/sad minute. I miss my Tot and hope to play with her soon!

I am so tired today! You won't believe what I found as I finished going through ex's junk from that storage room. No really. Guess. You could guess all day and never guess what was in the old tattered box full of leaves, spiders, under the belt sander and empty wrappers. It was a container of leftover green bean casserole!!! I kid you not, a Pyrex glass dish with green bean casserole inside, it had to be from ten years ago or something!!!!! It smelled like hell. But I could identify the french cut green beans, nearly decayed to oblivion, and some barely recognizable crispy onions on top. So revolting!!!! WHY it was in the storage room with the tools, we'll never know. I will chalk that one up with the empty OJ bottle I found in his den that said "PEE" on it.

Good afternoon!

Lila, you are doing great!

Tatoulua, I love that you learned something new and helpful today.

Bean and I did not bake today because the storm turned my power off for 4 hours.

He had a little bit of a hard morning. Usually he lights up when I come in to get him in the morning, but today he said "Daddy get (bean) up." I said "Daddy is at Daddy's house." And his little lip quivered, but he countered with "Momma get (bean) up." I had to say "Momma is at Daddy's house too. Can grammie get (bean)up?" He looked sad for a minute, but finally agreed "Grammie get (bean) up, then play."

I don't think he liked that the house was dark from the storm and the power outage either, but he did get to "help move big trees" with the tractor after the sun finally came out. He might not have slept well too, because after a bit he said "tractor tired. Papa put tractor away so tractor can rest. Tractor need lunch." So I gave him lunch and now he is napping.

I am tired too, but I am fleshing out lesson plans and double checking materials lists. Back to it!

Sending you love and support, Lila.

Oh my goodness, I feel like I failed a really big test. I have paint cans to get rid of but didn't want to waste a bunch of cat litter, esp since it's been hard to find at the stores. I COULD BE USING USED CAT LITTER I never even thought of that.

Good morning, SubC. Good job on the dishes, and the recycling! Celebrate every step.

My son washed off all the paint cans. One was big with only a little paint in it, so we put the cat's dirty litter in it and let it set so we can throw it out. That's the rules here. Dried out, or cat litter soaked and dried, can go in the trash. Then I took a photo of the other 10-12 cans of paint, partly full, and put it for free. There are a few interested so they are in the driveway.

This morning in the cool weather, I went out and sorted a few more boxes from the storage room. And buckets. Apparently ex has a habit: any time he repairs ANYTHING, he saves all the old parts - thus the old toilet seat that was in there. I found an old wax ring from the toilet, old door knobs that don't work so he replaced, many many other things like old pieces of pipes or drywall, and literally 30 or more old sprinkler heads from the yard that were replaced over the last 20 years. It is so much I think both big trash cans are going to be filled.

I moved a few more of ex's things into his room as well.

This morning a friend is coming, I think, to work on the room and I just now realized he has to turn off the water. And the water switch is in that filthy bathroom downstairs! The one ex never cleaned. The one Teen has thrown every used towel, paper towel, piece of trash in. I could shovel it. I am horrified but, what better motivation? So now I am going down there and putting all the towels in the wash, rest of stuff in trash, and then will start cleaning like your list said SubC. I'm going back to look at the steps now.

P.S.

I think I will order the new big daddy sheep, and maybe also the mommy sheep if he is still playing with the animals a lot in a week (right now they are one of his favorites), but I will try to sort out a box of other toys and find something that can go.

Good morning!

I forgot to thank Jules for the introduction. Pleased to see you here!

Tatoulia, I'm glad you got your nap.

Lila, I'm sure you are being very sensible about the process, I just wondered. I will look forward to the departure of the couch with you. For now we will just enjoy the cleared out, soon to be repaired storage room!

It is raining very hard here. Mr. kitty has not shown up, so he must be hiding in the barn. I set my alarm this morning because I need to get my body back on my school schedule, but I did not want to get up when it went off. I stayed up too late last night because Bean's parents stayed pretty long after he was in bed and then I had to do chores, put away the food from the dehydrator, and clean up some of the dishes (as much as would fit in the dishwasher)

I must be making progress on me, because I cared about the dishes enough to at least get the dishwasher loaded and started before I went to bed. I still have a messy kitchen this morning though.

I tried to work on getting my school stuff together yesterday, but all I really accomplished was recycling a few sheets of paper. Still, that is something, right?

I'm also pretty sure I am counting on getting too much done during Bean's nap and this evening after I take him home. But the first day of class is pretty routine - introductions, tour, labelling stuff, handing out clay, demo and simple project, clean up and go. I always over plan.

I cannot find my three hole punch. It has a place to go, but clearly I did not put it back the last time I used it. And now I need it. and it is probably buried in a mess somewhere.

Arg!

Thanks SubC and Tatoulia! Yes, the friends will be fixing the leak. All the wet boxes got disposed of and the things I put in ex's den are in tubs, and dry, so won't be an issue. I do wish he had a deadline, but I am trying VERY hard to be as easy as possible about this because he is the type who would lawyer up and cause me a lot of stress if he felt unduly pressed. So, I do believe he is looking for a new place to live and that once he has established that, he will be in a hurry to come get this hoard and his furniture. He loves his hoard so I don't think I have to worry about him leaving it here.

When he moved in with me 20ish years ago, he brought this terrible old couch from the 80s. It has a pull out bed that is all bent and thin and uncomfortable, which makes is super heavy and almost impossible to move. My kid's pet died on it (old age) and now I can't stand to look at it, the pet died right there. And then another pet peed on it (foster long ago). I hate that couch!!! I have begged to get rid of it but it is HIS. But it won't fit in his den. I cannot WAIT for him to take that couch!!!!! When that couch is in the driveway getting loaded into his moving van, it will be the symbol of complete freedom that I need.

In favor of wash and donate!

Lila, you did great! Also consider if anyone would want the paint cans. Check online (unless you already know) how to dispose of. Some can be opened and once dry, can go in the regular trash, other types need to wait for hazardous material disposal. There may be nothing salvageable in those cans.

We did mom's groceries tonight. She's so mixed up, the poor thing. I am still waiting on her bank statements and she said they arrived but then she couldn't find them and then later on she said she found them and then tonight all she had to show for herself was one piece of paper, not from her bank, and she said the statements didn't arrive. Who knows anymore.

I slept this afternoon. I haven't done that in a long time. It felt good. Now I'm doing laundry. I did a load earlier today and now I'm on my third. I have a lot of laundry because I had to keep the visiting cat from scratching my furniture.

Excellent Lila!

Does xh have a deadline for coming back? I hope you did not put anything wet that will cause a problem in your house.

Is the leak one of the things your friends are fixing?

The coffee shop building is cute. The potential coffee shop owners are very excited but uncertain. I attended the first planning analysis meeting in which I tried not to talk, but did offer information I knew from working at the farmers market. Also, at one point I finally interrupted with "I'm going to jump in here. One thing you really have to remember is that you guys are partners. He is not your boss, He doesn't get to tell you what to do."

I tried to throw some pots. I am rusty and got frustrated. I am having a really hard time just being today, but I did realize a few minutes ago that my shirt was making me grumpy. Maybe I am catching up to the 2 y.o.

Somebody remind me to donate that shirt after I wash it.

oh and p.s., THANK YOU SubC for the steps to deal with the bathroom and pathway, kitchen cups etc. That helps a lot!

This is an "I am proud of myself" post. Please celebrate with me!

I finally felt well enough to do things today. We have a water leak in the storage room so we have to take everything out of there. This storage room is where my ex has thrown everything. It is a hoarder paradise (hell?) combined with tools, parts of things, gardening items and many shelves. Much of it got wet. It has not been gone through in probably 15 years. With ex gone I can!

My son and I took 90% of the things out of there. It was thrown, heaped to the ceiling! Broken tools, old junk, cobwebs. We took it all out and it is spread all over the patio.

- 3 large rubbedmaid tubs of ex's junk. I just peeked but there are things like 20 year old underwear, clothes with holes, his shoes, old blankets. As I found things of his in the room I added them: books, old sports stuff, tools I know are his, shoes. All 3 are being put into ex's den where all his hoard now lives for him to move when he comes back for it all.

- 6 or 7 cardboard boxes of random junk - all flattened and put out

- filled a whole yard waste leaf bag with trash and broken items

- took one of the very large trash bins (huge city ones) and filled it TO THE RIM with stuff: broken leaf blower, old wires, pieces, parts, boards, an old DIRTY toilet seat from when he replaced one 12 years ago, a tarp that is 75% holes. Totally filled!

- consolidated Keep tools and pieces into a bin

- Found a huge box full of political signs that won't fit in the trash can so stuck them in his den for him to deal with. It would fill my bin.

I have to figure out what to do with about a dozen cans of paint that are really old. Might list them for free online.

There is a lot to still go through but it feels SO good to be getting rid of so much crap!!

hello everyone! I feel so much better today! Life is so much better when you're not coughing your guts out with a fever.

SubC, here is how I feel about the toys. There is something very good and special about being a grandma and having special toys. I myself went overboard saving things, but when I started to declutter, I rated the toys on three things: 1) how much does Tot like this toy (or future grands)? 2) how decent is the quality? and,3) how much space would be created by giving this toy away? To me, 3 was most enlightening. So, I have a little case of "my little pony" toys. I also had a big plastic dinosaur with balls that went in it. I know ffor a fact those ponies will be well loved (and they are) and the big dino only is fun for a very limited age range. But I decided to save the ponies and get rid of the dino because the dino took up so much more space! One Sheep or other animal takes up a tiny amount of space and gives years of imaginative play. So I would get him the sheep. It would be special, and if he asks for any other animals, tell him to shop in the bin, and maybe, just MAYBE he could as for the next special animal for Christmas! A nice, small gift to add to the Grammy toys!

TLDR, I tended to get rid of big toys and save the little ones.

Hi again Jules, what area of your home would you like mroe space in?

Hi Tatoullia, CM, Road, all. This is long and I am going to write a new post with what I did today.

SubC, bean puts the proper names on his feelings! Extraordinary. Your children are doing a great job raising him! As are you and your husband. I think we could all learn to stop and label our status. Sometimes I have a headache and it may take me 45 minutes before I realize I have a headache. I'm just miserable and don't know why.

Hello, Jules! Whether you are looking for help or just want to say hello, you are always welcome! If you have something particular you'd like to do (like getting started LOL because that can be tough), it's nice to go around and get rid of trash. And define trash for yourself. Empty food wrappers, used paper towels, etc. you'll learn as you go along that trash has a definition that will expand. But start with the easy stuff. You'll build the mental muscle to get rid of the harder stuff.

Hi again nice people. Thanks for making me feel welcome and inviting me to tell about what I'm dealing with.

I'm retired and live alone. I have too much stuff and not enough storage. My last place was smaller, but had fabulous amount of storage space.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the extent of the mess and my physical limitations. At least I can see now which really helps.

I get inspired from reading what y'all (yes I'm Southern lol) write about doing.

Good morning!

Tatoulua, I am Lol about "one needs to be an adult".

I hope the visiting kitty enjoyed the vacation, and I'm sure your kitty is pleased to see things are back to normal. Mr. kitty would never put up with such a thing! This morning he loves me very much and is back in his rightful place, so whatever I did before must have been forgiven.

I was thinking that I would get rid of some *other* toy. I did grab a snake out of the bin while we were looking - it was not the same brand or scale and looked shabby compared to the other animals. The ones available are still just as nice - they are a German company. IMHO, the Germans are quite excellent at toys.

It is now the part of the year where I panic. I slept well last night, but woke up this morning from a dream about my first class (which was actually a class that meets Wednesday last period.) my school neighbor for some reason was also teaching in my classroom, and her class was large, took up most of my room, and went well. I was in the back of my room and only had three students and the entire class period was a disaster.

As always I feel under prepared and overwhelmed.

Bean and family are coming at 4 today - they will eat dinner and Bean will stay the night.

Coffee shop tour at 2 which I have asked to be included on.

I still have prep to do for school, and today looks like the only day this week I can throw pots (which I need to do for Tuesday's class) and also the only day this week I can can salsa - which I really want to do, but maybe the pots are more important? Except the pots are for fun, and salsa is food and getting expensive these days..

I swear, I watch Bean make decisions (like choosing his animals) and self regulate ("Bean need little rest.") and I think "that is amazing executive function for a 2 y.o." and also I despair that I will never match him. The two year old knows when he is tired and needs to rest, and I, the adult, just get cranky and difficult.

Hello everyone! SubC, that is solid advice on cleaning the bathroom. I think most people enjoy a clean bathroom more than anything.

Okay my cat is home and the visiting cat left. We went to the Red Sox game tonight, I won the company tickets on Friday for today's afternoon game. I invited a friend who has a husband and two kids. I told her, any two family members are invited to join us but one needs to be an adult. She did admit that for a moment she thought she could go for dinner alone with her husband. So my friend and her 11 year old joined us. Great weather, great game. By the time we walked home from the park, my work friend was here to get the cat.

SubC I was going to tell you no, you do not need another zoo toy and the ones made today will not come close to the quality of the ones you have now. But then something tugged at my heartstrings. Yes get the sheep. No you don't need to give a different zoo animal away.

Good morning!

I just noticed that this thread is very long. Is it still loading ok CM?

I was pretty tired last night.I'm getting concerned about school starting and the demands on my energy if one two year old is wearing me out this much.

Dsil picked some things in my garden and replanted some things that died while we were gone, and moved some "volunteer" trees from my flower bed to the woods. All the ash trees are dying from invasive emerald ash borers, and we try to replant native trees as much as we can. The volunteers were wild cherries and redbuds.

Bean played, ate, and napped. We did not try to do any "works" yesterday.

As always I have a long list for today that I will not finish.

Here is a hoarding/collecting thing I am mulling over. In my basement I have a tub of very nice plastic animals that my kids collected over the years from the zoo gift shop. (We went often, and we had a membership, so the zoo was very cheap per visit and the animals - which we got a discount on - were a nice treat and a way to support the zoo.) I have not counted them, but there are easily over a hundred animals. I had put a few out for Bean, and he loved them, and the other day he looked them over and announced "Grammie need more animals." So, I took him down to the basement with his little basket and let him choose some more to bring up. He was very deliberate about which ones and selected about ten.

He was apparently paying close attention because yesterday while he was playing with them, he presented me with the basket and told me "Grammie get blue bucket (bin). Need crocodile and sheep." But he was disappointed the we only have baby sheep. He would like "big daddy sheep." And now I want to buy him a sheep.

I have literally cubic yards of toys in my basement, but I don't have a "big daddy sheep". His parents would tell me (and have) "he doesn't always get what he wants" but I feel like as long as it is reasonable and not bad for them, everybody should get what they want. And I'm sure they have sheep at the farm store.

I don't know, maybe if I get rid of something bigger than a sheep? The animals are more expensive now, and I'm not going to buy him everything he wants, but they are still a small expense and we do have those two little orphan lambs... (I love that he believes mama goats take care of baby goats and all other creatures (like him) are cared for by their Daddies.)

First: Deep clean the bathroom your friends are going to use -

1) dust
2) scrub toilet, use bleach,
3) scrub sink and vanity, put out fresh soap
4) sweep and mop floor
5) clean tub/shower if any
6) wipe down walls if needed.

Next grab some rags and dust from the front door to the area where they will be working - top down, then go back and sweep/vacuum. Focus on the path they will take and the closest surfaces, not the whole room.

Don't worry about picking up except to create access. Apologize for the house. Mention that you could never do anything with Dh there and you can't wait until all of his stuff is gone so you can get things back in order.

Kitchen is 3rd. It won't stay clean, but make sure it is thoroughly dusted and you have clean cups/glasses. Wash the table and wipe off chairs if needed right before they come.

oh hey Road! Glad you popped in! We are here when you're ready to chat some more.

Hi Tatoulia, CM, SubC, everyone. I am having a thought crisis about how to clean/declutter.

Imagine if you will that you live in a 3000 square foot, 2 story home that has not been thoroughly cleaned in decades. Just vacuuming and basics. Imagine you have some friends who are planning to help you with some repair projects around said home, and they ill start coming over in a week and continue coming over periodically to do these projects with and for you. You cannot afford to pay for this kind of help, so it is am amazing blessing that they are willing to come and help!

But, the house is in this state of uncleanliness that some might think is just a bit dirty and others might think is disgustingly filthy, and you don't know who thinks what. So you have a drive, now, to DO something about it before these people start showing up to help.

That is the state I am in, and if only I was not sick, and without air conditioning, I would be racing around trying to clean to prepare. But I am too sick and too hot, so I am trying to figure out how to handle this when I am better enough.

The floors downstairs and tile, and dirty. But can't just be mopped due to huge amounts of clutter, cat litter, dog hair and other debris on the floors. The walls are even dirty. Everything is covered in dust including windowsills, everything. The whole exterior in back is coated in cobwebs, dead bugs, dead leaves.

The toilets are gross and the bathroom floors are terrible. The shower stall my kids use is terrible. My upstairs is better, because it gets vacuumed regularly and dusted occasionally, but it is still pretty bad. Stuff on every surface.

I have a vague feeling of wanting to just start filling a dumpster, but I don't have one, nor the energy.

Where does one even begin?

Road!

So happy to see your name this morning!

I'm glad you're doing ok and look forward to hearing more when you feel like it.

CM, I don't do custom orders either.

Hooray for a crisis averted this time! Things are looking up!

Tatoulia, I hope you are enjoying some extra cat snuggles.

Mr. kitty is apparently offended about something this morning and has perched at the other end of the couch instead of coming close for his usual morning attention.

Lila, keep up with the resting and recovering!

And a wave to Jules and any other lurkers.

Dsil sent me a note last night asking if he could bring the Bean out today. Apparently my Dd has been working late and Bean has been very "two" and he needs a break and another adult. He offered to help me with "anything".

Nothing non-consumable in yesterday since I stayed home, but nothing out either - just rebalancing food and trying to keep up with dishes.

No big plans for today. No insights on my dreams either - complete hash. Ddil's cousin stole my Jeep - I don't have a Jeep. I made ds go look for it. Hanging out in a restaurant/bar at a resort with a bunch of young girls. Driving a long way and having car trouble. (Well, that might be because the brakes are broken on my suv again - maybe I subconsciously want to replace it with a Jeep?)

Make good choices!

Hi everyone, didn't intend on being absent for so long. Just laying low. Hope everyone is ok. I am doing fine. Hugs to everyone!

SubC, I like that! I can run it by my roommate. Luckily, she will be the one doing the knitting for the foreseeable. My knitting skills are not there. I'll stick to downloading the patterns for her because I know where to find them, and to sewing. LOL! 😅

I may have mentioned this before, too, but I will not be taking custom orders because of how bad I am at deadlines. The closest I might come would be if someone says "I like that ensemble; can you make me one in blue?" I will say that I can't guarantee it but I will consider making it at some point for regular stock, and to check back.

I guess a lot of crazy was happening at the house while I was at the library - guy came to inspect AC and furnace, discovered and was able to fix a problem that had it gone unchecked, would've resulted in needing to replace them, a big and costly hassle.

SubC those are helpful thought-processes you laid out for us! Thank you all for your kind words! Going to be now. My cat is home and out visitor cat is very sweet, too.

And Lila, right now it is fresh mozzarella, because I just made it. If you store it in whey, it stays soft like that, but I usually wrap it and freeze it or put it in the fridge, so it gets drier and will slice or grate.

So sorry about the corona virus! Almost too bad that you can taste sweet, it would be nice to at least get a diet boost from this. Hopefully your taste comes back quickly!

Oops CM,

I didn't see you when I posted before.

It's very hot. I picked the fresh beans snd came back in - there weren't too many this time. But I need some water.

My laundry strips arrived while I was in the garden. I have them set to ship automatically every year, with the largest box for the lowest price per load. The box is still smaller than the boxes I used to buy powdered detergent in, but it is too many strips. Eventually I will have to cancel for a year until I run the supply down. I like having it delivered in summer though, because I don't want to worry about the truck getting down our driveway. It was packed in a slightly larger plain cardboard box with some brown paper packing that will be good for Dh to ship coffee in. So perfect for a hoarder - nothing to save, nothing to "waste".

CM,

I have a thought about your clothes project - this comes from homeschooling my kids. Aside from math, my kids were "unschooled" this means different things to different people, but for us, it meant that the kids were in charge of their own educations (I confess to asking leading questions and throwing random interesting stuff at them) - When my oldest went to high school, I still considered her "unschooled" because we had a clear understanding that she could quit at any time - even in the middle of a class - the high school was simply another resource she had chosen for her education. (Also, when she told me the guidance counselor said she had to take a particular subject to graduate, I asked "do you want to graduate?")

I digress... anyway, every fall, we would make a plan for what they wanted to do and how they were going to do it and who was responsible for what (like, if they were going to learn guitar, did that mean lessons? Where? How would they get there? Who would pay? How much would they practice?) we would check in periodically to see if we were meeting our goals and could also ask the people involved to discuss revisions - "I am having a hard time making dinner on the nights I pick you up from lacross. Is there anyone who lives near us and could you arrange a carpool? Alternately, do you have another solution for dinner?"

So I was thinking - you and your roommate could have a plan for how many and what kind of doll clothes you want to have ready and when and then set goals for how you will get there and write it out and put it on the wall. Then you could have a weekly check in with tea and cookies or something to see how it is going and decide if it is realistic or needs to be changed or one of you needs to make changes, and then it would just be the list and not anyone nagging.

So maybe it says:
Goal: X number of Barbie sweaters on x date
Plan: CM will get patterns by x date
CM will check supplies and assemble materials and equipment by x date
CM will knit for x minutes a day (or "x amount if time twice a week", or from "x o'clock to y o'clock on.") you get the idea..
Roommate will:

Next goal:

Maybe you need to check in every day, or have gold stars, or whatever, ymmv..

SubC, now I am thinking this must be fresh mozzarella like you buy to slice with tomatoes and basil, am I right? Or is it the harder kind you can shred for pizza? How cool that you can make your own!

I just made some seasoned fries but when I tried to eat them I couldn't taste them. So I don't want them. I also cannot taste Doritos or cheese or tomato soup. I can taste fresh fruit though. And sweet things. Coronavirus...

I'm running out of steam so taking it easy right now.

Hi Lila!

I am very spoiled with my little tin of coffee on the counter that magically refills itself with a variety of fresh beans. Also sometimes I get invited to fancy tastings where Dh is trying different roasts of new varieties and he puts tiny cups out on the table and asks me to try them and give him feedback without any background information.

I made two wheels (a gallon a wheel) of mozzarella.

The dishwasher is running for the second time and the kitchen and scullery look a bit better, but not great. I picked some dry beans and some tomatoes, and I cleaned a few things out of the basement fridge that have been there too long and are just chicken food. I try so hard to keep up with the harvest, but there never seems to be enough time - or perhaps enough energy, since just now I have had time to watch a video with a glass of milk and a piece of cake.

I'm getting ready to go out and do a bit more picking - yellow beans this time, to dry.

I am glad you are feeling better, but sorry about your kitchen. Keep resting as much as you can.

Tatoulia, I did not feel that you were chiding us or trying to change us. I was just saying, that while I am glad you have found what works for you (and I wouldn't change you) I am not jealous of that one thing that makes some of this easier for you.

Ok, off I go!

Tatoulia, I knew what you meant, lol. 😉 In a tiny way I envy you not having the creative monkey on your back!

Hi Jules! Nice to meet you.

SubC, your daughter's friend sounds like a cool gal. The kind of person I probably would be more if I didn't have anxiety and executive functioning annoyances to deal with. But I have thought about doing small side hustles and may be able to find things that work for me.

It was interesting about your hubby's coffee gig too. I'm hoping that this doll clothes thing my roommate wants to do with me will be worth our while. She is very gung-ho, and unlike me is not so scatterbrained. As long as we can avoid getting into the pattern of me dropping the ball and her needing to remind me and me thinking she's nagging, and getting grouchy, we will do fine. At least I see the pitfall to avoid and can be proactive about it.

And I need to download some Barbie knitting patterns now, speaking of that.

Welcome Jules! When you feel ready, tell us a little about what you're dealing with.

SubC, what kind of cheese are you making? I want some of that freshly roasted coffee!

I feel unwell still today but better than yesterday. I managed to cut up a cantaloupe (and eat some, so good!) and start to clean up the kitchen. Teen left a HUGE mess. It was so bad it almost felt like a giant "f you." They were angry at me yesterday and yelled and I had to go isolate myself. So yeah, I think the giant mess is on purpose. Wrappers, spills, dirty dishes, food left out, dirty paper towels, stuff burned onto the stove. I was going to leave it until they clean it up, but I know darn well they will not clean it up, they will just shove it over and make bigger mess. So I threw out all the trash, put the dishes in the dishwasher, put food away. I have not cleaned the stove and counters yet but I will. I will say something to Teen about it but I know they will just yell and rant. Austism sucks.

I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on, and am so far behind in work, but I don't feel well enough to do a lot. I'm just doing little bits. Today is the first day I feel ok enough to sort of relax and feel like I'm getting a break. It is hard to do that when you are in pain, coughing, super sick. They days just whipped by and I did mostly nothing but sleep and feel sick.