Good morn8ng!

Coffee clinks!

Tatoulia, I hope your body is feeling rested. Don't forget that we carry our emotions in our bodies, so be extra kind to yours.

Lila, success! I hope you have a good day at work today. Young adults are hard on the nervous system. Young adults with challenges even more so. It's really hard when your kids have to learn things the hard way.

I am feeling discouraged about my basement. I am looking at the things I want to keep and the available space and my brain is telling me that there is no way this is going to work. It's not even just the bin type stuff. My kid's cradle, two children's rocking chairs (one needs repair, both sentimental) and a table have nowhere to go.

I love that cradle and it has been an issue its whole existence. Dh hates it because he was always whacking his ankles on the rockers the years it lived at the foot of our bed (with a baby in it) my kids have told me in no uncertain terms that it is not safe for babies and it is a miracle they didn't die. It belonged to my grandmother and she gave it to me when I was pregnant with dd1. My mom and uncle didn't die either. Nor did my cousin, my brother, or I when we were visiting. Currently it is filled with dolls.

I'm not sure what I will get up to today. Maybe getting the studio in better shape for tomorrow.

Also, I have beans to blanch and get in the dehydrator.

Wow, Tatoulia. That is a lot to handle. How long do you have to get it emptied? Glad you have a helper.

SubC, dinner was very good and we had a nice time and my son installed the new (used but given to me) booster seat for Tot in my car. I barely got everything done but I think I did. I got the meat, salad, and potatoes made and marinated some tomatoes, too.

After they left, I even cleaned off the table. I found another bottle of that very nice Mrs Meyers cleaning spray (pine!) to use on it.
- loaded the dishwasher
- hand washed a few things
- finished making the recipe Teen and I started earlier (they opted out)
- got the first load of towels out of the dryer and put in another load

It is late, after 10pm, and I am supposed to be at work at.... hmmm, 8 I think? Ugh though.

I will probably finish folding and sorting towels tomorrow afternoon, as I am beat and ready for bed. Teen is giving me anxiety about some of the choices they are making, but it seems I have no recourse. Praying for their safety.

I don't know about the shopping Tatoulia - why did you shop? What did you buy?

I'm surprised bf left so much behind for you to handle! Are you keeping some of it? What will happen to his laundry? (I would keep one soft, comfy shirt or sweater to throw on when I felt lonely,)

Hang in there!

Lila, I hope you are having a nice dinner.

I don't know why things are so hard. They are hard for me too.

I'm turning in now. Carry on!

Hello, everyone! I am here and in one piece! I just read all of your posts! Wow! A lot going on! Cm , I am sorry about your roommate's bad health news.

Lila, I think you are working toward a good plan of letting go of resentment that teen makes a mess. Do what you can to keep yourself calm.

SubC, do I need to account for my shopping? If it helps, I thought of you when I shopped.

I was busy all week. On Sunday I went to BF's house to assess its status and I was taken aback by how much stuff there was left. A lot. in every room. Even the dishwasher is full. Tons of stuff. By the time I got home from his house, Emiko was here with dinner. Then a colleague dropped her cat off for a two week vacation. So I was very busy. I did cry a great deal on Sunday but then became too busy. I went to the office on Monday and then one of the young employees slept over. She had told me she'd sleep over as soon as he left. We had dinner at an outdoor cafe by my house and it was nice. I then visited mom. I went to work again on Tuesday and Wednesday so I've just been too busy to be too upset. WFH Thursday and Friday and seem to have a good focus. I was too tired and a bit sad so did not go the the museum last night. But I did get a much needed haircut.

Today I ran some errands and then went to BF's to work on his place. I got many garbage bags together and a big box of recycling. The friend who is inheriting the car came up to his place after her work today and helped me with the garbage and the recycling. She also wanted his dishes and liquor, even the stuff that has been opened. I took the laundry I could find for him and I'm washing it here now. Then I'll take the sheets and towels to the animal shelter. He'd purchased an air mattress for the time between the shipment of his things and his departure. I deflated that today and have it in a bag for someone to pick up. I have a huge box for donations as well as a huge box of electronics recycling. He'd left his toaster and other stuff. Boston's hazardous waste day is next week and they will take the electronics.

My body hurts from all the work. I have to finish tmr. The friend gets off work at 3 and will come help me then.

That's what's going on. Haven't cried too much. He arrived at his destination at 2AM. We've talked several times but the WiFi is spotty where he is so it's been tough.

Okay off to move his stuff to the dryer.

I'm okay. Keeping it together for now.

omg every little thing takes monumental effort...

- washed the potatoes and put water on to boil
- put a load of towels in to wash and other load in the dryer

Why are such small things so exhausting? I really think something has to be wrong with me.

Next tasks will be:
- cook the potatoes
- make the salad
- dust
- swiffer the floor because there is no way I am mopping
- brush the dogs
- clear off the table and wash it
- more laundry

Then Tot and family will be here and we can sit and visit and have a nice time together. I will report back that I got the above list DONE.

yes SubC, you did better! You are making progress.

I admit I only clean because of the babies coming over. With 2 dogs, I fear my son and DIL would think it is too dirty to bring my grands over, and that would devastate me. So I vacuum because if DIL picks up the crawling baby and she is covered in dog hair, I am risking being able to have them over.

But I am proud of myself that I CAN do this.

Still slogging along...

- brought up the forgotten dryer stuff
- hung up 2 shirts and sorted the rest
- got the meat seasoned and into the oven
- put the dog food into the correct bins and put away

I also looked for one can of an ingredient I needed to make the dinner salad. I looked in all the cabinets and it is gone. It is an obscure ingredient I bought awhile ago, and I wonder if Teen opened it to see what it was and then threw it out. Either that happened or I REALLY misplaced it, because it doesn't seem to be in any kitchen cabinet. I checked twice.

So plan B, a simple cucumber salad instead.

I hate that cleaning makes me so tired that by the time the kids get here I am wiped out. I wonder how to improve this? Lose weight, for sure...

Lila - I just want you to know - you do actual cleaning a lot more than I do.

I "unpacked" another section of the basement. So there is a lot less open floor. Sigh. But I did clear the new section all the way down to the little carpet area (the really thin kind that's more like a big door mat - I don't actually know where this came from) and vacuum it.

I found a sort of hard thing from my childhood that I decided I can give away. I also found my Christmas tree earrings! I really like those - now I can wear them in December! (If I don't lose them again)

And I found a small index card file box of the type I have been thinking about buying for a project. Yay me!

And some more trash that wasn't trash when I put it in the basement. Sigh.

All I can do is better. I think today I did better.

The black box... ha, I have some 'stash n dash' things in boxes and files myself that I should attend to someday.

It is super slow going today. I have little energy. So everything is in tiny bits. So far I:

- vacuumed the kitchen
- opened packages on the table and put things away
- helped Teen with part 1 of a recipe they wanted to make
- wiped things down again
- put wash into dryer and forgot to bring up the dryer stuff
- took car seat cover off car seat and put it in the wash
- vacuumed the living room, picking up dog toys as I go
- brought big bag of dog food upstairs

Boy I am tired and I need to get dinner made, mop, put dog food away, other stuff...

Thank you for being here to "report" to. It helps me be accountable and see I really am getting some things done.

Good job on the towels!

My goodwill gets so many towels that they periodically bag them all up and sell the bag for $8. Since the bag is clear, you can see what you are getting. I occasionally buy a bag to get a nice new towel. Sometimes I get several. Then I redonate whatever is in good condition to a different charity that does not seem to have a towel problem, and whatever is not to an animal place. It's kind of fun to check out the bags - like a treasure hunt "hmm, this one matches my bathroom, but this one looks really fluffy and there are two wash clothes in here I could use for cleaning cloths..."

I think I will feel better about the basement space once I have something on the floor - mats or rugs to make it nicer and define some spaces. But that is a long way off.

The basement process is iterative. Sometimes I find something, and I know where I want it to go, but then I have to go move the thing that is there, which has to go somewhere else, until I find some things that can leave or take something back to the decision pile.

This afternoon, in the bottom of a closet, I found a big black portable file box. It was literally a "black box" I had no idea what was in it. I opened it - files. With neatly labelled tabs. Containing my financial records, farm records, teaching materials and records divided by classes, photos, coupons, project ideas, Christmas cards... Dated from 2013 to 2019.

And then, probably because I was working on the dining table and company was coming (maybe Christmas 2019?) it was stuffed in the closet and never seen again.

So.

Yeah.

I should probably clean that out.

oh SubC, why is it that a clear expanse of floor feels like that? Like when I had my bedroom floor picked up it felt so uncomfortable, yet my brain was proud. I somehow have subconsciously covered a good bit of the floor again, I've noticed, although it is a lot less deep. Maybe it takes time to get used to. But it won't take as long to pick it up again.

I find myself quite distracted today and this not getting much done. I did take some meat out of the freezer to thaw for dinner tonight, and looked up 2 recipes for the side dishes.

I also am doing my laundry. And, I am washing towels. Last time I washed towels, I noticed that a good percentage of them are raggedy. They are thinner, have small holes in them and the edges are frayed. So this time I am going to wash them and then sort out the worst ones and bag them up for a lady who can use them in her dog rescue. I already promised her a bag, so now I have to sort enough to give her. She is very thankful to have them, which makes it easier to move them out of here.

I am slightly concerned I have very few towels nice enough that I could hand them to company to use for a shower. But keeping the raggy ones will not change that. So off they go.

Will post again in a bit, after I deal with more stuff.

Hi Lila,

We cross posted.

With teen, I feel like at this point you are less parenting and more negotiating with a roomate.

I want to make more progress on the basement, but I am feeling stuck. I am tired of dealing with paper (I just piled the unsorted stuff on top of the big paper cutter because it fits and only looks a little messy).

Also, I have stuff i found I want to take to ds (which won't happen until Thanksgiving) and there is actually a big expanse of empty concrete floor down there now, which I actually find unsettling. It's like my conscious brain is telling me "this is good." But my subconscious is a small prey animal screaming "there's no cover! We're going to die!"

Took the stuff.

Got rid of everything but the dead markers, which apparently they don't take anymore. I brought them home. They take up about one cubic foot. I am going to wait and see if the school recycling program runs this year.

Found out more stuff I can take! But still not going again until November.

I stopped at a yard sale. I bought a book for Bean, a book for Surprise (really for ds) and a dump truck for Bean.

Wasn't even tempted by the containers. Not even the giant mint condition bins the woman was selling for only $5 (ok, I was tempted by the bins. But what I need is a slightly smaller size)

Maybe. We'll see when I get things sorted out. only so many bins will fit on the racks. But I have some cardboard boxes I want to eliminate.

I actually stopped at three yard sales and a thrift store. But I only shopped at the one.

Good morning SubC, and all who are coming to read later!

I am a list maker too SubC, like you said, then my brain isn't constantly jumping to the things I don't want to forget. This is why I love having a paper planner. There is something for me about having it all written down, so I can go back and simply highlight or circle the one, two, or three things I want to get done that day or week. It helps me prioritize and it feels so good to cross things off the list.

I have today off and am really enjoying it! Nice cool weather so I sat outside to read for a good hour with coffee this morning. Then heated up some veggie eggrolls for my unconventional breakfast.

I saw that Teen left a small mess, quite small actually, in the night. So I washed those dishes and wiped the counters and now it is all clean again. I had a nice conversation with a friend the other day and decided that instead of being frustrated several times a day getting agitated with Teen's messes, I will simply clean it up with a prayer in my heart for them, and also will invite them to clean up WITH me if they are awake and around at the time. If they decline I will just do it. This goes against all my parenting thoughts, but the usual things have not worked whatsoever and because of the autism I feel like I have to choose between two scenarios: Teen suffering and me being at peace, or both of us suffering. I am stepping out of the suffering as much as I am able.

I have to prep for Tot and family coming for dinner tonight, so that is my main goal. Floors, declutter, clear table, prep food.

I am going to make myself a "messy list" as well, since it makes me happy and it will help me not forget things I want to get done this week.

Lila, yay for a clean kitchen!

CM, I have a question for you - you don't have to write the answer. What is one thing you can do today that will make tomorrow easier? Not "could" do, CAN do. Maybe it's cut up a piece of fruit to have a snack ready in the fridge, maybe it's drink one more glass of water, take the trash out, wash a dish, clear off a spot to make or eat breakfast, go to bed ten minutes earlier, pick up something from the floor you keep stepping over. Or even something big like swim or take a detour to drop off something that is in your van.

Maybe it's just make a giant messy list of all the things you feel like you should be doing or want to do so that it is all written down and your brain doesn't have to hold onto it so hard. (I suggest on your computer if you pick that.)

Do the thing. Then tomorrow, use the little bit of slack to do another thing.

I am heading off to empty my car in fifteen minutes.

Go team!

P.s. hugs for Tatoulia.

CM, bless you and your roommate. It is hard living with someone who is disabled or chronically ill. Make sure you take time to care for yourself and get time away. Prayers for healing and peace.

SubC, wow! you have accelerated the recycling for sure! Very cool :)

I just cleaned the kitchen and got all the dishes done and counters and stove clean. That feels good.

Tomorrow I need to address the floor. The last time I mopped was when I posted about it here, which has been awhile. There are spills and it is looking rough so maybe tomorrow I can mop, or at least swiffer. I have a suddenly sore shoulder, so I don't know if I will be able to actually mop. Feels like a pulled muscle or pinched nerve.

I also need to do laundry.

Feeling pretty good tonight.

Well, my update is that roommate got her medical call back and knows what she's up against. It's not easy, but there are some things they can do. I hope she can get some relief. It's something neither of us expected, her being plunged rapidly into the existence of a semi-disabled person and me scrambling to catch up and figure out how to help and how to cope with my own mixed emotions (because we never seem to have much smooth sailing time between big life challenges).

I guess we just have to wait till we know more; I need to rest my mind a bit to digest all this new information, but try not to let it gnaw at me and cause anxiety. Going swimming will help, provided I can remain calm enough to get there. Which I probably can - one mustn't judge how one will feel on the same day one has received difficult news, y'know? A good night's sleep - hope roommate can get something resembling that, and me as well. Our hot weather is lessening but the nice rain missed us. However more storms may materialize over the weekend. It'd help her not to have so much watering to do.

I'll respond more to decluttering posts and so on when I have a few more functioning brain cells. Have a good night all.

Hi Lila!

If you leave the bins open in the back yard, the birds will eat all the maggots for you. (Guess who isn't grossed out)

I stopped by school to drop off a little box of stuff in my classroom on my way to take care of Bean. The building manager was there getting rid of my old water mat rugs. As in, they were on the way to the dumpster because the edges are curling up. I am apparently getting new ones this year!

So now, the old ones are in my garage. They really need to be washed. Then I will either heat gun the edges or cut them and they can go collect dust and dirt in the studio/shop barn.

But, my car is full! I think it is as full as it was last month. That means that in one month I have cleared out and collected enough reusable and recyclable items that are not thrift shop items as I did in the year before!

Plus bags of regular recycling and one or two small bags of trash every week. (I took another small bag of trash and three bags of recycling to the drop today.)

So, tomorrow morning I get up early and take everything away.

Then I rest a little and start again to see if I can do the same in November.

The drop recycling is a big deal, because some of it is food packaging, but most of it represents me letting go of plastic things I was saving because I thought I could fix them, or keep using them because they were only a little broken, or find a way to replace the missing piece, or maybe turn them into something...

hi SubC and CM! I had today off but was busy, so just now coming to read up. SubC, the crayons are something I used to do. I'd save all the broken ones from everywhere and melt them in muffin tins for my kids to color with. Which is a cool project! At some point, my kids outgrew crayons. And it was so very hard to let go of those homemade ones. It was like they were full of dreams. Letting them go felt like letting go of the intentions I had when I made them. And it made me face the reality of time passing by. CM, swimming sounds wonderful!! Maybe you can go another day. I bet you will feel better afterwards.

I had a call with a friend. Then did an online order for pickup (mostly food) and made an appointment at a cheap pedicure place. My feet are terrible since I have not had a pedi in ages. I mean, clean and clipped but just calloused and all that. So I went there and feel so much better, and picked up the groceries and came home and put them away.

I also watched the trash truck come and dump the bins. I like to watch it go. I had thrown out an old rickety chair and stool, one in each bin. They are on the Tally. They would have been difficult to fix and held bad memories. So off they went.

I also loaded and ran the dishwasher, hand washed a few things, and took out some trashes.

Here is the thing I would never tell anyone. When I went to bring in the empties bins, one had maggots in the bottom. omg. I was so grossed out, they were crawling around, I realized Teen just dumped the dirty cat litter in there with no bag. SO GROSS. So just now, I put bleach in there - both bins - and ran some water, let it sit awhile, then rinsed and dumped and rinsed with the hose. It ran into the street but I diluted it a lot and when it is drained/dried, I will sweep up whatever is left.

Resting now.

Coming back because that sounds like she's a kid. She's an adult who doesn't drive because of anxiety. Her mom drives her places. I am also friends with and invited Mom. Only daughter replied yet and used "I".

My younger friend is coming! I'm not sure if her mom is staying or dropping.

Bean is taking a nap now. I'm going to clean up a little for his parents and then do some planning.

Good morning!

I did stay home from class last night. I worked on my project a little, but I also remembered how frustrating the lighting in my studio is.

I did get brave and invite my friends to come next week, but I haven't heard from them yet, so now I have that "what if they don't want to come" feeling going on.

Today I am going to Bean's house to watch him while his daddy gets trained as a poll worker. We have a special election on Tuesday. (So I will have Bean Tuesday instead of Monday) I am not going to get through the entire backlog of recycling in time to drop it off on Saturday, but that is ok. I have a LOT to take and I will probably go again in November. (The September drop is Labor Day weekend and the October drop is the weekend of my birthday and my parents are coming. - I'm very excited about my parents coming! They just told me yesterday)

The first time I went I had most of a year of recycling and packed my car really full. This time will not be quite as full, but includes categories I didn't know I could take, and a lot of recycling found in the basement and studio this month. Honestly I could probably go another year, but I think I will have enough in November to be worth the trip. I want to ask Dh about recycling some old broken trash cans (he still uses them as stick storage for firewood, but a cardboard box would do, and they are empty half the year - the cardboard box would be gone for that half.) Then I will wait for spring or summer.

Hi CM,

Thanks for stopping in. I'm sorry your roommate is suffering and that your routines are disrupted.

I don't really understand about your captcha. Sometimes mine says try again several times, but it never changes while I am doing it.

My headache still won't go away. I am thinking about skipping my pottery class tonight. Realistically, I won't do anything I can't do at home, so it seems silly to drive for two hours. This particular class (group of students) doesn't offer me a lot of creative or social support, and I am pretty socialed out anyway.

I've found a few crayons to get rid of and decided to let go of 9 oversized ring binders (I kept three), two regular ones, and two accordion files. Those freed up quite a bit of space, but since the space I'm trying to empty is basically the middle of a room, it's not helping me with additional storage. Better organization maybe.

I've been watching a lot of videos to get ideas for organization. Clutterbug says I'm a "bee" (I want everything where I can see it and I want it sorted into seven thousand neatly stored and labelled categories and I have both emotional and logical justifications for keeping everything.)

The micro categories is what kills me - for example, I just pared our giant chunky homemade crayons down to a set of 8. But it was hard, because they are homemade, so each orange was a slightly different shade of orange. Finally I said to myself "subc. You still have the solar dehydrator. You still have silicone molds. You have 7,000 broken crayons that are not worth donating. If Bean or Surprise get super excited about giant chunky crayons and needs more shades, you guys can make crayons together!" Then I picked my favorite shade of each color and let go.

Just saying Hi, don't want you to feel lonely, SubC. I'm just hanging on, would actually be doing fairly well except this business of roommate's pain has thrown a huge monkey wrench into her life and a proportional yet smaller one into mine. It changes the daily routine significantly, it eats up time, and just, well, one star would not recommend. She had her MRI yesterday, so now it's just a wait for answers.

It's payday for me, so I'm going to go do the usual errands. Wanted to go swimming but don't want to have to fight the worst heat and traffic - had wanted to leave mid-morning and get the drive behind me then just hang out near the water park or something till it opens. Ah well. I'm making some progress with the driving anxiety but it's slower to get back to baseline than I'd like. Poco a poco for sure. I'm being patient with myself and as positive as I can muster. And I do believe that I'll get there - that's the most important thing, having faith that it's possible. Just like with the clutter, really - the times when I become greatly discouraged that's not good. The times when I can feel like "I got this" more good will happen.

Insofar as the heat, it's been a terrible heatwave here this week and last. On Tuesday I did get to the east water park, can't recall if I mentioned that - and one of the lifeguards had heatstroke and they had to call fire/EMS. Poor young lady, I pray she's okay. The heat is about to break with storms over tonight and into the weekend, if the weather people are correct. My meteorologist tree frog croaked repeatedly this morning, and it did sprinkle outside already.

I HATE THE CAPTCHAS - CAN'T POST WHEN THEY KEEP CHANGING FASTER THAN I CAN CLICK - AAAAARRRRGGGHHH

Good morning.

Welcome to our august line up, featuring subc.

Today we are addressing paper. Not "papers" as in "sheets of fiber made from tree pulp with writing or printing on them". Just "paper" as in "multiple types and colors of sheets of fiber in many colors made mostly but not always or exclusively from tree pulp and blank except sometimes with very useful seeming lines and grids".

My head hurts. Also, I found another place where things got wet. A long time ago. They are wrinkled and dry and stained. Thankfully not mildewed.

So far I have half a grocery bag of paper to recycle and a big bag of foam core to donate. I carried in one of the small portable folding tables I use for pottery sales to provide an additional sorting surface. I have been working for two hours and I am tired of it.

Good morning!

The moon is beautiful! The full moon always makes me think of tillie.

Yesterday while my friend was working I cleaned in my studio. I made some very small get rid of decisions, but mostly moved things around and literally cleaned.

I did not spend any time in reflection and contemplation of my "harvest" for this season. having my friend here is fun, but other people tend to disrupt the flow of my life. Also we went to chipotle yesterday.

We also went thrifting. I was very very good. I am looking for a few things and I tried to focus on those (didn't find them) and not get distracted and talk myself into stuff. A couple of times I picked something up, carried it for a bit, and then put it back. I did buy a Tupperware container that I have actually been thinking about ordering new and a cool puzzle for Bean. So that is two items I need to clear out of my house.

We also went to the gallery at the pottery studio and I picked up three finished pieces. I can't decide if I should count the pottery I make. It is coming in to my house, but I also sell some of it periodically, and I am really bad at keeping track of inventory. Also, if I am going to have to balance everything I make, I will be discouraged from making, and the clay is already here. Maybe I will worry about that after I set up a better inventory/storage system in the studio.

Good morning!

Mostly hanging out with my friend, and yesterday with Bean. My friend sleeps later than I do, and has to work virtually from 11-2, so there is some down time.

Yesterday during Bean's nap we chatted while she knitted and I sorted through the markers. I have a dead/recycle bag and a donate box for Saturday and am getting rid of almost twice what I am keeping.

Also Bean and I got out the bubbles that I have been saving since my kids were small and used them in the yard. We used up two little birthday favor jars. The bubbles didn't work well at first - being old, but I added one squirt of dish soap and they were great.

I fixed another overloved toy for Bean yesterday too.

Lila reporting back...

It is just past 3pm and I:

- went and returned some things I bought on impulse
- picked up the shirt order I had (used credit to buy)
- got a free coffee with a coupon
- took the first load out of the dryer and laid them flat on my bed until I can hang them
- put in 2 more loads. One is in the washer, one in the dryer
- carried the big heavy bags of dog food upstairs
- had lunch with my son
- had a phone visit with a friend

Now I am researching car repairs I need done and trying to find the lowest price. I am also researching places online that buy jewelry, so I can hopefully sell my wedding rings.

I hope you all are having a good day.

update: so far this morning I

- cleaned up all the dog poop out of their yard and put it out to the bin
- put in a load of laundry
- fetched the dog a little bit and looked around outside for Teen contraband

I am resting a bit. It was a lot of work out there cleaning up a whole 5 gal bucket full of poo. I will work on my planner and maybe make a couple of calls.

ohhh SubC, having new people over is an advanced skill! I struggle with it since the pandemic.

I have a lot to do today and should also work, even if from home. I made myself a written list in my planner. Since it is the LAST day of the month, I want to cross off as many things as possible before moving what did not get done to the August section of my planner.

I have a mix of housework, cooking, paperwork, calls, and piled up duties to do. As I go, I will try to declutter the areas I am in. Mainly, the laundry room needs a looking over. It is not bad, but I'm sure some things can go.

Good morning!

Lila, sometimes we just get worn out. It is ok to be tired and rest.

Have you tried finding some podcasts with voices you like and really boring topics? You could just listen to the same one every night. It would be like talk radio, I think.

Good job taking the time to put the toys back in order!

CM, I have not heard of "August Anxiety" I am familiar with the feeling of "where did the summer go? That kicks in around now however. I think that is pretty normal. And yes, I noticed last night that the days are getting shorter. Tomorrow is Lughnasadh, which is a time of reflection, marking the halfway point between summer and fall. So I'd say these feelings aren't exactly new to our times, we just like to label everything so that it sounds like pathology.

I always have a mix of regret for the waning summer and the things I didn't do and excitement about the new school year in August. The regrets aren't as bad this year because I set very conservative goals. I knew I needed to rest.

It's good that you are making/remaking connections.

Tatoulia, come as you are. We are just happy to have you here. I have had students who have gone through times when success was showing up and sitting in the classroom. This might be one of those times for you. And that is ok.

My friend stayed up late last night working, so I don't know how late she will sleep. I pick Bean up early this morning And we will stop for donuts.

I made more progress in the studio yesterday. I think I will invite some newish friends over to make stuff next week. (They are mom/daughter, both younger than I - I used to teach the daughter and will still have her brother in class this year) they are very non-judgy so as long as there is space for us all to work it should be ok. We'll see how brave I feel after the current friend visit is over.

oh I am draggging tonight. But I forced myself.

- loaded the dishwasher
- washed off counters and stove
- used a razor to scrape baked-on food off the glass stovetop
- took out the very full kitchen trash
- opened some boxes that came this week (food and supplements)

I am sleeping very poorly which could be why I am always so tired. I usually lie in bed for 2 hours or so unable to fall asleep. I cannot fall asleep in silence, at all. Music is slightly better. Audiobooks make me toss and turn. Talk radio makes me fall asleep the quickest. So I always put that on at bedtime. However, I notice I wake up if they talk about anything creepy, or anything I am very interested in, or if I set a sleep timer and it turns off. Last night I remember waking up like 6 times and "rewinding" the topic so I could hear it, and then falling asleep again... repeat. Very unrestful. Not sure how to solve this issue.

hi CM. I have not heard of August anxiety, myself. I know fall is my busiest time of year with many more demands, so I try to take it easy in August. It has not worked out, though, to take it easy over the rest of the summer.

I was home all afternoon and evening and could have gotten so much done but I was slogging around exhausted. I wish this could be fixed. I have to really push myself to do any little thing, and it makes me feel so lazy.

But at least my living room is clean.

Sometimes I wish I had another adult living with me. Maybe a husband, maybe a friend of either gender who I could talk with and do fun things with, cook and eat with, and to motivate each other to do things. But really if I had someone living with me, I would want them to clean the house and do the yard work. So I guess I really want a maid/gardener!

Hang in there, Tatoulia. Your posts are fine, we want to know how you are.

Lila, you're doing A-OK. Regarding the final push and why it feels harder, well, I remember the times I was moving and how emptying a residence just seems like it takes forever, and I think there are similarities even with ordinary decluttering. I think some of it is we get used to some of the things that we don't consciously notice - simple examples might be a wastebasket, a mop, a box of tissues - they almost exist in the realm of abstraction in their category as "supplies," then all of a sudden we must recognize that each separate one is a physical entity that takes up X amount of space and requires a decision from us. Other stuff might get lumped into categories by location ("the stuff on the kitchen counter") or use ("toys," "art supplies") or owner ("So and So's stuff"). Going from the abstract to the concrete can be a shock.

Went to the grocery store Friday and ran into a gal from my old local decluttering club, from pre Covid days. She said it is meeting monthly in person and Zoom. I might go - sometimes I've felt a bit of nostalgia for it even if some things annoyed me (they were minor things, really). Next time is mid August. Just might be good to connect with some people - seems like the pattern recently, people I've known or new people, and I feel like it's a blessing.

This coming week will be busy but hopefully not have so many people I know's deaths happening close together. That got a little surreal, and I don't mean that in a flippant way; it was just strange and disconcerting. My roommate returned from her trip yesterday. She is still having a lot of pain. Has MRI Tuesday. Hope there will be help for her. Want to see her happy and enjoying retirement.

It is 101 degrees here, heat index 105. Nasty. And supposed to go even higher in the next few days. But supposedly a change to come around Saturday with storms and about 10 or more degrees "cooler" thereafter. It will be the final week that the water parks will be open on weekdays. And in August weekends only through September 4th; I don't know how busy they will be on weekends. It's a toss up when it gets this hot - because it's a potential driving anxiety and migraine risk, yet all the sweeter to get in the water once there. Hoping I can be the brave version of myself.

Just a strange question - has anyone heard of this new term "August anxiety"? It's been written about online and our senior center newsletter mentioned it. Roommate immediately thought of me and how I get a little sad once solstice is past, and tend to dread winter way before it even hits. Mainly what I hate are the shortened daylight hours (don't like night driving) and the cold especially when it's confining. And wearing heavy clothes. I've learned to take vitamin D and such, and get sunlight when possible, which help the biological component. But it's just the practical realities that tax my patience to the max. The articles on August anxiety talk about feeling disappointed at not having enjoyed the summer enough - that is also relatable. Anyone else notice this pattern?

I know - Poco a Poco is how one survives the difficult times. And being proactive, like trying to put in things to look forward to. So maybe fall and winter won't seem so bad anyway. Hope all that wasn't too Debbie Downer, but I was just curious.

hugs Tatoulia, we are glad you're here! SubC, I might like a tbalecloth on my table. I know I have one or two. I stopped using them because kids spill all over the place and I would have to wash it all the time. I used plastic ones for many years, easy to wipe when kids spill or color or get playdough on it, but can be cheap looking. I probably have one of those around here, too. I won't buy anything new though, not for a long time.

I went to work and it was good but long. I'm home feeling so tired.

When Tot and family came last night, I was proud of how clean it was. The kids took out just about every toy and had fun. Their mom always helps pick up before they leave, so that's nice. Some of the things got mixed up, so after they left I re-sorted and put things in their place. That only took 5 minutes and it worth it to me to keep it nice.

The kitchen is a wreck though, as Teen went in and cooked and left a huge mess. I need to take the trash out and do something with the kitchen. I just hate cleaning it because within a few hours, Teen will have it all messy again. It feels like a losing battle. I need an attitude adjustment.

I apologize for not reading your posts and congratulating you all for your many accomplishments. I am not keeping up. Thank you for letting me be here anyway.

It really was so much better I've cried only twice today. It is a beautiful day. Cool breeze and no humidity. I've done some work. Going to go see mom now. Awaiting a call from BF.

Have fun with your friend! I'm sorry about the recycling.

Tatoulia, it was probably better than having a big, emotional parting. You will see him again, you will just need to focus on something else for a while.

My friend is coming in late this afternoon. I am really looking forward to seeing her.

I talked to my mom last night and she told me their county is discontinuing the recycling program because people were using the drops as a free dump. You can still recycle, but you have to drive everything to the county dump and have it inspected. It isn't safe for my dad to drive to the dump, so he has ordered garbage service and now they will just throw everything in that. I am sad about it.

Yet another reminder to me to lean out and get the stuff that can be recycled to the recycling NOW.

We inadvertently said our goodbyes without realizing it. He came here in the afternoon and said goodbye to kitty. We then went to his house and while there, I decided to take my car home since he would be coming in with his car later tonight to give to the person he's giving it to nd we'd be together then. Then there was torrential rain and I called him and said, I'll take her up to your house tmr to pick up the car, don't come here tonight. So it turns out we've seen each other for the last time for a while. He leaves early in the AM. we've decided this is for the best. It will be a terrible burden to come here in the early AM just to cry a lot. No one needs that.

Yay Lila!

I am proud of you too!

Like your dog, i always feel a bit unsettled when there is too much change in my environment. Even if it is good change. You might be feeling that too.

Now you have to defend your living room! Take a few minutes every day to return (or send) misplaced items to their true homes and vacuum as needed.

Our everyday table has a tablecloth and a coiled grass tray with a plant, some shells, and the salt and pepper on it. I have been removing everything else at least once a day. It's a small victory, but I'm enjoying it.

The tray was $2 at goodwill, the shells were collected by me and my mom,, and the plant was a gift from a student, so very inexpensive, but it feels fancy to me.

Dh and I went swimming this afternoon. I think I have found another spot to shift things in the pottery studio. And a few small things to let go.

Poco a poco.

I did it. I dusted and vacuumed. The living room looks almost sparse! She I say, normal (although not decorated). The dog seemed confused when he came in, lol... all the empty space!

I will at some point need to really dust the bookshelves, as I just did the edges. But everything else is cleaner than it has been in a very long time.

I got dinner out of the freezer (because that is what I need to use) and will cut up some watermelon to go with it. I made juice popsicles for Tot and Acorn (and us... lime, yummy). I will vacuum the kitchen/dining room and get the table cleaned off.

I am proud of myself.

That piece of art sounds really cool and unique, SubC. A nice find!

I put on some loud 80s music and got up and forced myself to work. I got just about to the point of vacuuming when Teen came and asked me (nicely) if I could pick up some soup for them, as they had a gift card. So I stopped working and went and got the soup, got us each a drink, came home and made myself a grilled cheese sandwich.

I spent about 20 minutes working. I think, as I look around, I feel slightly lost for some reason, not enough piles??? but I think in 5 minutes, I can straighten the one last end table, so a quick dusting of what's left, and be ready to vacuum. So let me go get that taken care of, and vacuum.

I also brushed both dogs so that there is more hair in the trash and not as much falling off them.

Good afternoon!

Lila,mit gets harder b3cause we tend to start with the easiest stuff and because we get tired, and b3cause we feel like we've done a lot, so it doesn't look so bad.


I am finding that my basement gets harder and harder and slower and slower.

I did walk down to the craft show. Not too bad, a lot of bits and bobs and jewelry, and of course the ever present Tupperware and pampered chef.

Only one booth I'd call art (I'm snobby, there were also some nice crafts - well done crochet, bird houses, sewn items..) but the artist was a newly retired guy who described himself as a "hobbyist" and made turned wood items - candle holders and bottles and accent pieces - out of various bits of "found" wood that strike his fancy. He had a really good eye for bringing out the form and character. I bought a piece from him. It used to be a fence post, and he left the base washed and lightly brushed with a piece of barbed wire wrapped around and staple on. The top 3/4 was turned to a bottle shape and then the whole thing was stained to show the grain, the bottle was lightly burned to darken it and it was waxed, capped with a bit of cork, and accented with twine.

I found a good spot for it when I got home, and Dh saw it immediately when he got home and said "I like this."

I decided I could part with 8 styrofoam snowmen my students made me to balance my wooden bottle. That is not all of the snowmen, it's just 8 of the 13 that were in that particular box.

I'm sure there will be a further reconning eventually.

update 1 -

- Dusted the entertainment center and one end table.
- put some DVDs in the cabinet and the rest in the staging area room
- put a few things from the living room away, spot vacuumed

bahhhhh why does it get harder the cleaner it gets? There is not a whole lot left scattered around the living room but I find myself so emotionally resistant to finishing it! Why? I guess it doesn't matter why...

If I just pushed into it and did everything in here in one push, I could have the room done in under a half hour, I think. Including vacuuming. Why am I feeling so trapped by this?

If I had cookies, I would be binge eating them right now. Well, eating too many, anyway. This is a sign of trying to shove down my emotions.

So I came to post here. I am resting a little and then will try to just DO IT.

Good morning. Tatoulia, I hope opportunities abound for you! SubC, hopefully it will be a good day.

I am off to a slow start too. But I made myself breakfast, and I picked up two items to throw away: an old lanyard that is no good, and the center of a lantern that Teen broke a long time ago. I saved the middle. Who knows why. So added two more items to the Daily Tally.

Tot and Acorn and fam are coming for dinner, so I am going to finish cleaning up the living room today and clear off the kitchen table, which is piled with stuff again. Will vacuum, maybe brush the dogs.

Keep up the good work, everyone. Not through all of your posts but sitting here in awe of you!

Bf and I had dinner at our restaurant last night instead of museum. Then we sat with mom. I became a little teary when he asked the waiter to take care of me when he's gone. And again when he told mom's kitty to take good care of mom.

Today we've decided to look at our opportunities.

Good morning.

Stayed up too late last night and a slow start this morning.

Good for you getting things done Lila!

It's still rainy here, but supposed to clear up later. The heat and humidity have been really bad. My beans are ready to pick, but everything is wet and I can't stand to be out there.

I still don't know if my friend is coming today or tomorrow or flaking on me. I hope not the third, but her life is a mess, so she'll do the best she can.

There is a craft fair at our former elementary school building today. (It's now a child care program and a lot of empty rooms as the elementary schools were all consolidated into one big building near the housing development sprawl - welcome to rural life.) I don't know if it will be really cool or a few sad tables but I'm going over this morning - it's not quite a mile. If the heat index wasn't so bad I'd walk, but I think I'll drive. If my kids had gone to school they would have been walkers. I did walk ds to scouts there when it wasn't icy or raining.

Dh is playing golf.

Update later.

Lila here, gettin' things done...

- sorted and cooked some spinach
- washed the dishes
-cleaned off the stove and counters
- picked up DVDs and video games and CDs from being scattered around one corner of the living room, dusted them and stacked them, and dusted the corner table

I am so tired. I hope if I get to bed early, I will have some energy in the morning to get some more done.

My living room is getting better, but has a ways to go. The end table beside me has a printer on it, and also has stacks of random junk. Markers, pens, pencils, papers, books, candles.... so tomorrow I will try and sort that table.

It will be so nice when this is done. All the things in the Daily Tally that have left my home have made a big difference.

Now if only the dust and dog hair could get under control!

hi SubC! Little bits are good. That's kind of what I'm doing today, although all in one area.

The VHS tapes don't seem to be worth anything, so I am giving them away to a neighbor. I am slightly irritable because Teen invited over a friend that I cannot stand. I do not like this friend whatsoever, but they do not seem to be doing anything illegal etc so I allowed them to come visit Teen and hang out downstairs. Teen has very few friends so I don't want to isolate them further. They might go out to a small concert this evening. However because this friend is downstairs, I am choosing not to go downstairs to do laundry or work on anything down there. I do not want to be around them. #1 I am an introvert, and #2 I do not like them.

I will try and get the living room cleaned up a bit more.

Hi Lila,

My internet was out most of the day. We've been having crazy storms.

Good job on the toys! The toys are hard because they have a lot of emotions attached. Things that were good and were over and visions that didn't come true.

I don't know about the tapes or the jewelry - except that you will probably do better privately than at a jeweler or pawnbroker, but you might be able to get an offer to see what the low end is.

CM, good luck with the dog. I'm glad you got to see your movie.

I've been doing little bits today. The lack of sun was hard. I fixed my iPad stand (wooden book stand, like for a cookbook) and glued the Velcro pieces that I found in my random box back onto Bean's wooden food (I think they came off when dd2 was younger), filled the recycling rack (I think four more days will actually empty the bin, but I might take a break while my friend is here), repotted a plant, my curtain rod arrived and I hung Bean's tractor flag.. That sort of thing.

episode 4...

95% of toys and books in the living room are sorted and put away. (Have not found the puzzle base)

Questions:

1 - where do you think is best to sell jewelry? I need to sell my wedding/engagement set, which is gold and diamonds. I am looking at online sites.

2 - do you think any VHS tapes could actually be worth money? I saved 6 tapes when I purged, because when I searched them on ebay they looked high dollar. But at the same time, the same tapes are also sold cheap. So I dunno. I am going to look again now, and if I don't think they are valuable they will be donated. If I do, they will be listed for sale.