Dave,
WONDERFUL!!!! to hear about your changing thinking when it comes to buying! :D

That is what I have been working on with Mr. Hoarder.
Think it through.
He has been doing much better too.
No longer feels the need to buy it all just because it is a good price.


YEA!!!! for you Dave! :D

Space is an item. Thank you Dave! Space is so precious and valuable. Thank you. Whether I have "room" for an item isn't the point--it's whether I want to have it take up space. And the short answer is NO.

Hello Tillie! I just need to clean and plug away and post here. Being encouraged, understood and even at times being misunderstood are important! Thank you for that.

Hi Tatoulia :)

So very wonderful to read about your table with the lovely blooms on it! :D
WAY TO GO!!! for all your great accomplishments!
I come here for support and human contact with people who I can be honest with about my living conditions.
It really lifts my spirits and gives me hope and the will to go on hearing that I am not alone.
Posting and reading here keeps me from just giving up.

Thank you for the smiles and encouraging words. :)

We have sunshine and mild temperatures here today! Lots of dirty snow piles that are still higher than my head, but I wore shoes out last night and not boots.

I have the windows open to air out my apt. My apt is a dirty, filthy mess. There is not one room I could have anyone in, but if they'd like to look at my dining room table, it is clean and clear and polished and the daffodils are fully open.

I came here when I cleared out the trash hoarder's place and I faced the fact that I am a hoarder. I've gotten rid of the stuff, I've stopped acquiring and I'm working on my finances/debt. And it's going beautifully and I credit all past and current posters. Now I can't keep up with maintenance. Simple maintenance is beyond me. I need help with this. I come here. It isn't easy, it will never be easy, and I worry once my finances are back on track I'll spend my extra money on acquiring. But for now, I'm here. I feel free to post my successes and my failures. Sometimes I post because I want contact with you. Sometimes people post things that make no sense, (TO ME) and I'm sure some people skip over my posts. Sometimes I don't agree with things people say and I'm sure the reverse is true. I soldier on and try to remember what I am trying to accomplish. Peace, cleanliness and freedom from clutter.

I email a lot at work and I read and re-read what I've written befor sending since using smiley faces in a professional email can't be done. When I'm worried re how something will sound, I pick up the phone. I don't want my tone to be misunderstood or WORSE, completely understood! Here, I write and babble on and rarely proofread. Life is tough. I find that it's easier when I have you ALL here.

Sending you all love and sunshine and fresh air.

I was not attacking either.
Neither was I preaching.
I was asked a question and I tried to answer it.
I have no malice in my heart towards anybody.
I guess I have failed to come across here as being a positive optimistic person.
When people read written words they are free to use a negative voice rather than the one actually being expressed.
That is why emoticons were invented, to relay the feelings behind the words.

i was not attacking
i was trying to communicate
i am and have been "motivated"
but apparently motivation is not enough
i dont know why I posted
maybe thats why visitors dont post
this can be a bad hurtful place
i am out of time and hope
i should be planning my funeral not trying to figure out what to do with junk and how and who to get help from
im tired of trying to be responsible for everything
ive tried and tried
I do not have the necessary abilities
Be more positive is an easy thing to say but not possible to magically accomplish. I can put on a smiley face but that doesn't make it real.
Preaching is not always helpful
I wish you all the best

Good Morning

Hi Diane :)
Hi Dave :)
How's it going you two with the boot inventory?

My mind is occupied with all my worries and fears.
Too many thoughts competing for space in my brain.
Need to quietly meditate and think my way through.
But first, the cats are demanding their breakfast. :)

Bitsy,
I helped people who asked me for help.
I knew them and their extended families well and they all knew/know me.
After watching/knowing them all that time I knew their personalities and thought processes.
They were in crisis when they asked for help plus I was/am still near by to answer any questions that came up over the years.
There have been people who I did talk to who were not motivated to begin so they are still stuck.
Like the man I live with. He has been listening to me though because I hear him now using terminology like churning and staging area and he also admits that he really is a hoarder.
Took a long time for him to finally see that there is a problem with all his stuff and his clutter has been starting to bother him, which is good because that may motivate him.
He has also stopped dumpster diving and rarely makes any thrift store purchases now. Fingers crossed that he doesn't back slide. :)
Setting up systems and schedules, cleaning and organizing comes easy to me, professionally I am a surgical assistant. That's why the people that I helped came to me.
People need to be motivated to change or it won't happen. Some take a long time thinking about it before they act.
Clutter and lack of house cleaning are common issues that are more easily tackled.
True hoarding is so much more complicated due to the people's emotions/fears/thought processes surrounding their possessions. :)

Tillie
it all seems so simple,logical and easy for you

help is the only way things will really change here

why is it so easy for some

have you ever "helped" someone de-hoard and they back-slid? All of the families you helped were successful?

oh. you only helped those who were sufficiently "motivated"

so many posts here on this thread since the end of feb. when I last read here. may try to catch up reading some later today

Back story.
I have helped four families dig out and clean up.
They are all still living clutter less and clean.
First family was husband & wife with 6 boys all under the age of 10.
CPS took away the children due to extreme squalor.
Neither parent was a hoarder.
They desperately wanted their family back so were very motivated to clear out all the clutter, clean up the squalor and make necessary repairs to the house.
The children were returned after two months and the house passed all further CPS inspections.

Next was a family of father & mother and two young teenaged children.
The mother was a hoarder who was very motivated because all the relatives refused to ever visit the house again and the husband and children were tired of living with the clutter.
The bacteria levels in the house were so high that at least once every month the members of the family would be stricken with violent vomiting and diarrhea.
When helping the mother declutter I just sat by and acted as a sounding board for her decision making.
Discussed with the father and children how to reduce and eliminate the bacteria that was causing their illnesses.
The house was decluttered and sanitized and is still nice all these years later.

The other two families were just chaotic.
No rhyme or reason or house cleaning schedules or systems in place.
Now the dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc. are getting done in a logical and timely way.

I also helped a friend who grew up in a hoard.
The day he turned 18 he moved out and has never gone back.
He did not know how to or when to clean so I taught him housekeeping.
16 years later and he is still the cleanest, most organized person I know.
He has absolutely no relationship with his mother to this day.

Right now in my real life I am helping several people because they have asked me to.
Mostly right now it is about them changing their mindset, releasing their fears of the future and defining what they want for their lives.
They are taking baby steps decluttering but they are making progress.

The thing with helping people declutter and clean is that they MUST be motivated in some way to do this.
They need to have the desire to change.

Hello, hello, hello...

Hi Dave :)
When it comes to footwear I only worry about having the proper shoes/sandals/boots for the coming season.
They need to be in a style acceptable to me but most of all they can not hurt my feet in any way or they are out of here.
Here is my method...
at the end of summer I evaluate my sandals and decide if they are good enough to store away for next summer or if they are too worn out to last another season.
Good enough ones get saddle soaped and stored in a hanging shoe bag/organizer.
Too worn out shoes get tossed.
Same method is used for other seasonal shoes too.
Since I only have two feet and will not live for another hundred years, I feel that at all times I have enough footwear to around to keep me on my feet. ;)

Hi Tatoulia :)
Thank you for your wonderful, inspiring and moving post.
That was a very hard journey you took to let go of so much but you gained so much more. (((HUGS)))

Hi Diane :)
WAY TO GO!!! for all you did and for stopping painting when it was "good enough"! :D
Call the tax person. Get that over with. I hate tax stuff. ;)
How is your tree perch coming along?

Woke up today at 4:00am & couldn't get back to sleep.
It was actually 5:00am but my body is still working on the pre DST schedule.
When the sun comes up I will get dressed and make my bed.
Need to wash some dishes and run the vacuum.
Cats are staring at me, wanting canned food breakfast.
Yesterday the yellow jacket wasps woke up and were flying about. :(
Thinking today I will just wander around doing finishing touches to projects here & there.
Stuff like better places to hang bird feeders, where to place bird baths and other yard decorations.

Take time to appreciate the little treasures in life today. :)

Dave, boots, I will spend the next few days matching up boots and get back to you with a number of pairs. I actually have abouit 5 pair of boots, and rarely wear boots. Unless snow is deep I wear regular shoes, maybe that is why I have had frost bit toes 2 years in a row. With all the sox and boots, why would I go outside with regular shoes. How many pairs of boots do you actually wear? How about wearing each pair one day this week, then get rid of any that don't feel terrific on your feet.

So Diane,
I really am having trouble thinking about some boots. How many pairs of boots do you keep about?

Tat,
Thank you for your encouragement. You are reminding me that when I drop my anger and find the right ways to see, I will be able to do the things I need to do.

Your encouragement also encourages me in the process of offering some encouragement to others.

Hello everyone, thanks for sharing your personal struggles, helps me understand you better, and like you more!!
Tillie good thing I do not have your phone number, would have called today, got into my compulsive painting in kitchen. Once one thing was done, noticed others looked dingy, on and on I went, had to finally stop myself, it is good enough, no more painting in here this week. Put all knobs back on cabinets. Tomorrow is last nice day, and do not want to spend it in here sniffing fumes.
Washed dishes, cooked some food, took tarp off wood, organized a few things. Telephoned and chatted with two friends today. Forgot to call and make tax person, on my list daily, and forgot again.
So happy to have this group to work with, helps so much.
Dave you are finally really facing things as they are, hooray. It is difficult to part with our beloved junk.. Tat reading of your valuables you donated, was a wake up call for me to get rid of more junk, if you can get rid of grandpa made desk. So amazed at all you let go of. Tillie, always love to hear what you are up to.

Diane! How I wish you'd come here for a birthday lobster! Mom and I haven't done that yet but will in the next week or two.

Hello everyone else! Now on to Dave:

Dave you may know that I cleaned out an entire storage space, filled top to bottom, front to back. Treasures. Every single minute of it. Mom's oriental rugs, the desk my grandpa made, old sheet music from the 40s, etc. box upon box upon box. And all I can tell you is I got through it. And the more urgently I worked on it, the easier it was to let go. Scads of bed linens in beautiful shape. Duvets, comforters, bedspreads. My great grandmother's rocker. Stuff everywhere. Ultimately I got rid of most. Donations. Gave some important stuff to sister. Everything else is gone. Books, everything you can imagine. And I let it go. It was doing me no good, I touched each thing a final time, offered it to my sister, and then donated the rest. At one point we came across a baby portrait of yours truly and it is in a sterling frame. And for the first time ever, my boyfriend said something. He said, this is what you should have in your house, not the other stuff. Dave, I did it. I became like a machine. My sister(estranged for my entire life) came and helped, my brother (very, very Iill) helped. We all came together and got it done. An at-risk youth who we mentor took an entire day to do something really hard for me. He asked no questions and made no comments and said we didn't need to pay him(we paid him). Another neighbor took one of my childhood ceramic cats, I couldn't let it go (although I was able to get rid of lots of them). She took it off my hands. I just did it with a sense of urgency, which lead to a sense of accomplishment and at the end of the day, relief. I was single-minded.

I am making it sound easier than it was. But somewhere near the midpoint, when my brother offered up closet space, I said nah, let's just get rid of it (whatever it was). I honestly feel relieved and anxiety free. I find my overall life anxiety is better. I drive by the storage facility and instinctively hang my head with anxiety, shame and a sense of failure. As soon as I remember I'm free and done, I feel terrific. It's like I didn't realize how much it hurt til the pain stopped. I will support you in any way you need support.

Much love to everyone here.

I had a purpose for the list thing that didn't go where I wanted it to go. I am going to have to think on what to say next for a bit.

I have a different situation here. (You know Davidocentric and all that stuff. I'm special. :) ) I was expecting to hear about some different rooms where things could go and then was going to talk about the room with the most "hits". In the shed I have more stuff and there are basically only two choices-my side of the garage or gone. If I can't put it in my side of the garage, I'm not sure I can even get Mrs dave to allow me to save some items for a garage sale that is supposed to happen within 4 weeks.

If somebody posted in and said they found 8 pairs of boots in their garage and didn't know how to get rid of them, I'm sure I'd have some "helpful" suggestions. Since it's 4-5 pairs of my boots in the shed plus some more in the basement-different story. I need them all. :) that's one issue. There are others. I still have to get rid of more things in order to effectively use the room I have, and even more things than that if I am to become more free of the pulls of things.

I have to work out my path through the emotions like Fear of getting rid of something I will really need and having to buy it again with a very limited income; breaking emotional attachments; identifying things I have bought because I have created purchasing patterns based on things others think are important; Fear of loosing potential identities that some of the things represent to me and so on.

I can either continue to work on my attitudes and outlooks and separation from things or I can kiss everything but the things goodbye. You know the drill, you've seen the posts I have and more.

I also hope that I or you or someone has the right things to say to Ann and Reader66. I am convinced each of them has a way through the crap surrounding them-it's just the challenge of them finding it.

Upon reflection, it's nice to hear you have a reptile free house!

Good morning :)

Hi Roxie :)

Hi LR2014 :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
Hope you had a great night's sleep and a wonderful morning! :D

Hi Diane :)
WAY TO GO!!! brightening up your kitchen!
And for taking a break to enjoy the day too. :D

Hi Dave :)
WAY TO GO!!! and good luck with jackknife cookery.
Sounds like it would have some good stew and biscuit recipes.
Just read your update...
(((HUGS)))
Maybe writing a list of what is in there and noting where else it might possibly be stored?
I thought that was some very good advice.
Sort of like sorting it out mentally before even starting to physically sort it.

Been doing laundry this bright sunny and warm morning.
Got three loads all hung out on the clothes line. :D
Spend most all day yesterday outside working on the yard.
Came in when I was totally exhausted, showered/shampooed and rested the remainder of the evening.
Monday, house cleaning day...
But I don't want to, really really don't want to.
So think I will just do some "absolutely needs to get done" stuff and call it good.

TTYL :D

flexible spending, income tax, a garden shed.

In December 2013 Mrs Dave bought a small plastic garden shed. She told me i could use it, in relation to garage cleanup, until spring. March 2015. Mrs Dave wants the garden shed cleaned out.

I am David. I am 5. My stuff is in the shed. It is my shed. I don't want to clean it out. Emotionally I am not sure if I can. The only possible way I see right now is to follow some advice which I am preparing to dispense to some other posters on the site.

It's a real pain when you have to think about other people and do what you tell them to do.

dealing with issues.

Among others, I guess given the advice I have been free with in another thread and the clue of Boys Encyclopdea of Knowledge posted here, I need to remove a moldering book called Jacknife Cookery from its hiding place in the basement and relate to it for a couple of days. :)

Happy Birthday Sweet Tat!!!!!!! You are loved.

Progress to report. All dishes washed and put away. Painted most of kitchen ceiling white, started on green wall, will need 2nd coat. Cleaned and painted outside of upper cabinets, now exhausted. I got low VOC paint but still the fumes got to me and yes Tillie,, took a break in lawn chair and a smoothie, so happy you told me to go get supplies. My dark tiny kitchen is a little brighter now.

Thank you dear friends! Ii appreciate the lovely birthday greetings and Roxie, Wow, so pretty!

Much love to you all. Will take Tilllie's advice to be mindful of time change. I am exhausted right now but will stay awake for another hour. I might empty the dishwasher and clear the kitchen counters. Won't that be nice to wake up to in the AM?

Ditto . . . happy birthday, Tatoulia! (Mine isn't as pretty and colorful as Roxie's, but it is still heartfelt!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAT!

Good morning Everybody! :D

Hi Diane :)
Hope your plans also include sitting out by the trees sipping a smoothie. :D

Hi Dave :)
I am positive that his set of the "Boy's Encyclopedia Of Knowledge" would have that information but it has been buried deep in the garage for too many years to guarantee it's condition. ;)

Hi Tatoulia :)
WAY TO GO!!! getting yourself some lovely flowers to enjoy on your clear table top!!! :D
FANTASTIC! work on the not acquiring!!! Really! "D
Have a GREAT day and remember to take time to enjoy the Daffodils. :)

What am I doing today?
Soon as I make my bed and get dressed I am heading outside to work/play in my garden. :D

Everybody please be careful and take it slower while adjusting to the time change.
Don't want you becoming a statistic, added to the toll of daylight savings time injuries.

Good morning everyone!

I bought myself cut daffodils this week and they look very cheerful on my non-cluttered, completely cleared dining room table. Have been busily celebrating my birthday far and wide. I'm exhausted and full. Need to do some cleaning and clearing here. Have not acquired anything so that continues to be a blessing.

Seeing my mother and a friend today. Will likely need to take brother grocery shopping. I am grateful for the sunshine and will likely need a few days to adjust to the time change.

Wishing you all a beautiful day. So happy to read your posts.

I made one attempt to find a girl guide manual with instructions about different kinds of lashings but with no success. Wanted to be sure you got the treee house floor tied in well. I am disillusioned about the snowshoes. I was listening to a louis lamour book on cd in which they made snowshoes for travelling and hunti g.

Hi Tillie and Dave, as well as non posters.
Warm weather is sooooo nice. Hopefully tomorrow I can report some progress...

I have never noticed how many "site views" we get here.
Mainly because I have my screen enlarged so big that the meter is not shown.
I remember way back when we were celebrating our two millionth view. :D

Dave :)
Thank you for your insights.
I have always felt that my Hoarder's refusal to seek counseling was the same issue as never asking for directions when we have been lost in an unfamiliar city.
He prefers to drive faster and farther hoping that by chance he is going in the right direction.
You have been wonderful for information and insights into thought processes.
:D

Good Morning Everybody! :D

Hi Tatoulia :)

Hi Dave :)
I remember that Twilight Zone episode too.
Starred Roddy McDowell.

Hi Diane :)
Happy you at least got smoothie ingredients! :D
Hoping you have scheduled in some R&R and playtime for this weekend. ;)

Have my grocery list all made up and plan to get to the store today.
Would rather just play outside all day but really need to get some groceries.
Cats have eaten their canned food breakfast.
Time for me to make my bed and get dressed.

TTYL :D

Hello all. So great reading alllllll of your posts, lots to read, thanks. Work was difficult yesterday, I got to practice responding with kindness over and over. Then went to near by grocery store and bought smoothie supplies, knowing I would love having one today. Freezer still begging me to go to Costco. I stayed home all day today and puttered, out in warm sun. Over 60 today and tomorrow, so different than last winter. 2 fun phone conversations with friends. I am still recovering from long work day yesterday, still exhausted. I felt happy and content most of the day today, accepting exhaustion, knowing tomorrow I will have more energy.

Wow! 4700 site views in approximately a day!

Strange Species...
... Not feeling good about this one .....
I vaguely remember seeing some twilight zone episode about astronauts crashing, being treated well and then discovering they were in an intergalactic zoo!


Indoor pot. Ok if one has the proper "thumb" for indoor flora. (Someone we know doesn't. :) )

LR I read your name and post and haven't read anything g else--you are staying with a strange species. How wonderful. Been missing you.

I'll read everyone else's posts soon--was just so glad to see LR's name!

Hi Roxie :)
So very sorry I made you homesick. :(
But I am so grateful that you are where you are right now, getting the care and attention you need during your recovery. (((HUGS)))
Thank you for your kind and supportive words. :D

Hi LR2014 :)
THANK YOU!!!! so much for giving us this delightful update!!! :D
Love the way you wrote it! :D
Take care & don't be a stranger. (((HUGS)))

Dave :)
I was thinking that Roxie needs one of those potted bulbs that is just about to bloom to keep on her night stand where she can see it upon waking every morning. :D

I thought I'd better officially check in here before you all think I've fallen off the face of the earth or something. Hi, everyone! Looking forward to reading your posts later and seeing what's going on with all of you.

Well, it's been quite a number of weeks now since I moved out of my apartment and started staying with some friends of mine (temporarily). It's been hard to get used to the concept of a plumbing system that actually works like it's supposed to work (which is the type of plumbing system my friends have here), but I'm trying. There are also other odd concepts to get used to. For example, these friends have the odd idea that "things" should have a home. Nothing of theirs stays out of place for very long. But wait . . . there's more! Related to that notion seems to be the idea that tabletops and countertops and floor space should be clear! A faint voice echoes in my memory: "The natural state of a tabletop is clear. The natural state of a countertop is clear." Where did I hear that concept once upon a time????) Floors get mopped, even when they don't look dirty! And in the midst of all this orderliness and cleanliness, my friends seem to be calm and serene. They even have fun and relaxing activities on a very regular basis.

I'll try to keep you posted as I observe more about this unusual way of life.

Hugs to everyone!

Roxie,
Why don't you ask your brother if you could plant a spring bulb of your choice in an auspicious spot in his yard? I bet the two of you could work something out.

Hi Dave :)
Thank you.
I love your plan for the dresser space.
WAY TO GO!!!
Good Luck and Best Wishes with round 2. (((HUGS)))

I know how hard this journey has been/still is for you.
I am so very proud of you for all the progress you have made. :D

Tillie,

I don't do well trying to read and absorb long posts-sorry in advance for the length of this.

I have not thought of good way to acknowledge your posts. two things came to my mind reading the earlier ones. this is not the place for any extended discussion-but I continue to marvel at the complexities of human relationships. And I see how serious an issue the "incoming control" is for you. I suspect I owe you some apology for the frivolity of some things I've said over the months-but I'm still way too self centered to give you good words.

Maybe this will work instead. There is, at the foot of the basement stairs, a dresser of the old kind you put a wash bowl and pitcher on. (Yes it is clutter where it is.) Last year, or the year before-sometime, I was using for a staging area for my laundry basket when I did laundry. Then the broken hanging travel bag showed up. So Mr Dave says, "I can get the luggage shop to fix this." OOPs, there goes the staging area. Then 3 books I wanted to save but wasn't quite willing to put on a shelf. Then the Singer Sewing machine accessory box. "That is a valuable antique which someone will pay big bucks for." :). Then the big cardboard box which I wanted to save to put something in. and then the cardboard shoeboxes and trays to "organize" in the junk room. These are all very special and valuable items, not anything like the "junk" a normal hoarder would save. :).

I was at a thrift store yesterday. I bought 5-6 towel type bathmats. I have no place to put them, but they need to be in the area where that dresser is. I don't care to have a discussion about why I bought the mats. (Although to you I will say I need a poop of the day showcase to avoid usage of the shovel later.) I guess this sort of smacks of the roof story you just posted-now that I think of it. I just went down and vacuumed the containers, piling random "junque" in each of the trays and putting things back on the shelf. The box is in a pile of boxes to use for cleanout stuff. The luggage is in a togo area. It will be about a month before it actually goes, but there is a specific plan. The white tablecloth is in the laundry and the other stuff is on the floor at the moment. In about 3 hours, the dresser space will be covered with a clean white tablecloth. There will be a pile of the bathmats and other rag towels on it. I will probably do some "sliding to the side" on occaision (sp) to set an inbound/outbound laundry basket there. We'll see how I do in round 2 at restricting it to those 2 items.