Tillie
Prayers your way.

Diane,
You are a most energetic and determined person. I think I am not quite that way. We'll see about the dishes. I go slowly. I also deferred that to do other things.
Earning money is great. I know you were worried about your finances. The license help is nice too. Many companies today are controlling costs to the point they won't do things like that.

Tat,
My mother had a friend who would come over and they would sit at the kitchen table and talk. You have all the ingredients. A clean, shiny table and pretty flowers. A place to have coffee with a friend.
One clean shiny spot is an encouragement to more clean shiny spots when you teach yourself to think that way.

Dear Tillie,
We love you. We really appreciate the special food,ear scratches, play time and cardboard boxes. Thank you for taking me to the doctor. We are very sorry the other human in your life is sick. We hope you and the doctors will have him well and home soon.

This morning I mentioned having fears and worries.
Unfortunately most have been realized.
Been at the hospital where he was admitted for a large blood clot in an artery in his leg.
There will be a surgical procedure, he could lose his leg.
He could lose his life.
Please send some positive thoughts/vibes/prayers this way.

(((HUGS))) :(

dave, when the timer is set and I see how many dishes I can wash in 15 minutes, I surprise myself how much I can get done, have you tried the timer dave? I am very competitive so look at it as beating the timer.
Got clean sheets on bed.

PS special shout-out to Scooter!

Good work, everyone. Bitsy, that sounds like hard work! Congratulations! Keep it up and remember not to push yourself too hard physically.

Really, we all did so much today, although my accomplishments fell short of my goals, I did all dishes and promptly emptied the dishwasher, I did three loads of laundry, all of which has been folded and put away, I cleaned the area where kitty eats (clean placemat) and then I napped.

Yes, dear Tillie, doing it together is the key. Congratulations to us all. Diane, don't want to ignore you--appreciated your post very much!

I tackled a gross area in my bathroom today. 1 foot by 3 foot area. I filled a large goodwill bag full of heavy wet groady stuff. The floor there is not clean yet but the bag of yuk is out of the house and on the front porch. Tomorrow I will put it on the hood of the car and drive it to the trash can.

I also did an online search for "Bright-Fey". Did not take time to read anything yet but plan to check out the 15 minute routine
Tomorrow after I pay some bills and check bank balance.

I can so relate to Roxie's "nest". Having needed things within reach. Things like meds, water, glasses, book, flashlight, cane, etc.

Thanks for letting me be

Hi Grace, happy to hear you are still working on the hoard, and making progress.
Tillie, Tat, Dave, our chat this morning really helped me get some things done. Washed dishes, cooked good stuff, washed those dishes, took a shower, washed, curled hair, started to change sheets, got distracted, will go back and finish. Matching sox for tomorrow. Food for work. Really appreciate our talk this morning, so much better working together.

Tatoulia and Dave,
You two are cracking me up! LOLOLOL :D

WAY TO GO DAVE!!! :)

WAY TO GO TATOULIA!!!
for cheering Dave on to VICTORY!!! :D

Hello Grace! Congratulations! Good work!

Dave, that is a victory in my book! You found space inside the diaper wipe box. Now to make more space by putting the wipe container in recycling? Maybe? And no, mrs Dave didn't tell me to say that. Maybe.

Hi everyone! It has been a while. I miss you all. Long cold winter but spring is in the air. (Well, at least for a couple of days.) Still cleaning since my husband left all of his hoard behind. Sometimes I want to just give up but guess what? I never did! This group is very encouraging. One space clean in the basement . Much more to go. But, with people like you supporting me, I'll get there. Thanks

WAY TO GO!!!
everybody.

Together we CAN do it!

So far today I have fed the cats
scooped litter boxes
put down fresh water & filled kibble bowls.
swept the floors
took a shower, got dressed
made my bed
straightened up, put stuff back where it goes
spent time with each cat apologizing for there not being any sunshine today

Soon I will go to the neighbor's house and relate to their pets to get them nice and spoiled before they are in my care for a whole week while their people take an anniversary vacation.
It has been a long time since I last baby sat them.

WOW! Good work Dave and Diane! Everyone,is getting it done today! Together!

Oh my goodness we are all posting at once--haven't read all of them but Tillie, reading about your daily chores is extremely helpful to me. It hasn't gotten me to act....but it will. Just you wait and see! (Insert little hearts here)

Rainy here too, no smoothie in yard, guess could set up one of 10 umbrellas, tee hee. Sure enjoy the active chit chat!!

Dear Bitsy, my heart thinks of you often. Please know if I had a magic formula, I would send it to you before I sent it to everyone else.

Diane (((HUGS)))

Wonderful inspiring post.
Thank you for working so very, very hard and sharing all your struggles and successes with us.
You have been an inspiration to many.

I understand the psychology behind the attacks and that helps me to not take them too personally.
;) (winky face smiley emoticon)

WAY TO GO!!! finding the check and being reimbursed! Always nice when shown appreciation at work. :D

Raining & cloudy here today.
Hope you have a chance to sip a smoothie in your garden today.

15 of minutes of dish washing now
clean counters
cook something healthy
I did call for tax appt

Dave, I threw away 5 containers today that I was starting to save, thanks you yelled "toss it"

(((HUGS))) Tatoulia :)

It helps so much knowing you are there cleaning and plugging along right beside me as I clean and plug along too.

Good morning all-and I do mean all of you. Bitsy, so sad to read of your desperation, I have been there, so angry at my situation, feeling helpless, like a failure, with no way out. Motivation never came. I took advice on here, visualized an area set timer, got off my butt and started. Posted on here daily for over a year ups and downs. Tillie gave me support and suggestions. As did others, Tillie was the one consistent in my life. Shopping has always been the thing that brought me instant happiness, really was painful to stop, have had plenty of slips, but never went back to the addiction to shop. When I stay away from the board, usually because of arguments, attacks, mostly of Tillie or me, then I back slide, so now I know to just keep connected, I need the support.
Tat, I relate so closely to everything you said. Except, I do have my finances together, as together as they are going to get at my age, that is. I only buy things with cash, pay bills on time. Work even though I am 67 this year. Maintenance and excess still plague me, and the burden of not consistently changing my behaviors. The positive is we have accomplished soooooo much and we have hope now. We will continue to improve if we keep connected here.
Dave, enjoy your thinking so much, and your honesty.
When I was in pain I often struck out at others, and really felt it was my duty to point out their flaws, when in truth my pain misinterpreted others behaviors and words. I still catch my thoughts going to that place, stop and focus on what I am grateful for. My job tomorrow, gives me the weekly chance to have a condensed course in responding with love when criticized, or left out.
I made $150 yesterday, found the check for nsg. license, printed it off, and will take to work tomorrow, they offered to pay it, would not have happened if I was a grump.
I agree Dave, doing nice things for others, is a reward in itself. Doing nice things for myself, other than shopping also is heart warming. I love you Tillie, and you will be a target, people love to shoot at things that shine.

Dave,
WONDERFUL!!!! to hear about your changing thinking when it comes to buying! :D

That is what I have been working on with Mr. Hoarder.
Think it through.
He has been doing much better too.
No longer feels the need to buy it all just because it is a good price.


YEA!!!! for you Dave! :D

Space is an item. Thank you Dave! Space is so precious and valuable. Thank you. Whether I have "room" for an item isn't the point--it's whether I want to have it take up space. And the short answer is NO.

Hello Tillie! I just need to clean and plug away and post here. Being encouraged, understood and even at times being misunderstood are important! Thank you for that.

Hi Tatoulia :)

So very wonderful to read about your table with the lovely blooms on it! :D
WAY TO GO!!! for all your great accomplishments!
I come here for support and human contact with people who I can be honest with about my living conditions.
It really lifts my spirits and gives me hope and the will to go on hearing that I am not alone.
Posting and reading here keeps me from just giving up.

Thank you for the smiles and encouraging words. :)

We have sunshine and mild temperatures here today! Lots of dirty snow piles that are still higher than my head, but I wore shoes out last night and not boots.

I have the windows open to air out my apt. My apt is a dirty, filthy mess. There is not one room I could have anyone in, but if they'd like to look at my dining room table, it is clean and clear and polished and the daffodils are fully open.

I came here when I cleared out the trash hoarder's place and I faced the fact that I am a hoarder. I've gotten rid of the stuff, I've stopped acquiring and I'm working on my finances/debt. And it's going beautifully and I credit all past and current posters. Now I can't keep up with maintenance. Simple maintenance is beyond me. I need help with this. I come here. It isn't easy, it will never be easy, and I worry once my finances are back on track I'll spend my extra money on acquiring. But for now, I'm here. I feel free to post my successes and my failures. Sometimes I post because I want contact with you. Sometimes people post things that make no sense, (TO ME) and I'm sure some people skip over my posts. Sometimes I don't agree with things people say and I'm sure the reverse is true. I soldier on and try to remember what I am trying to accomplish. Peace, cleanliness and freedom from clutter.

I email a lot at work and I read and re-read what I've written befor sending since using smiley faces in a professional email can't be done. When I'm worried re how something will sound, I pick up the phone. I don't want my tone to be misunderstood or WORSE, completely understood! Here, I write and babble on and rarely proofread. Life is tough. I find that it's easier when I have you ALL here.

Sending you all love and sunshine and fresh air.

I was not attacking either.
Neither was I preaching.
I was asked a question and I tried to answer it.
I have no malice in my heart towards anybody.
I guess I have failed to come across here as being a positive optimistic person.
When people read written words they are free to use a negative voice rather than the one actually being expressed.
That is why emoticons were invented, to relay the feelings behind the words.

i was not attacking
i was trying to communicate
i am and have been "motivated"
but apparently motivation is not enough
i dont know why I posted
maybe thats why visitors dont post
this can be a bad hurtful place
i am out of time and hope
i should be planning my funeral not trying to figure out what to do with junk and how and who to get help from
im tired of trying to be responsible for everything
ive tried and tried
I do not have the necessary abilities
Be more positive is an easy thing to say but not possible to magically accomplish. I can put on a smiley face but that doesn't make it real.
Preaching is not always helpful
I wish you all the best

Good Morning

Hi Diane :)
Hi Dave :)
How's it going you two with the boot inventory?

My mind is occupied with all my worries and fears.
Too many thoughts competing for space in my brain.
Need to quietly meditate and think my way through.
But first, the cats are demanding their breakfast. :)

Bitsy,
I helped people who asked me for help.
I knew them and their extended families well and they all knew/know me.
After watching/knowing them all that time I knew their personalities and thought processes.
They were in crisis when they asked for help plus I was/am still near by to answer any questions that came up over the years.
There have been people who I did talk to who were not motivated to begin so they are still stuck.
Like the man I live with. He has been listening to me though because I hear him now using terminology like churning and staging area and he also admits that he really is a hoarder.
Took a long time for him to finally see that there is a problem with all his stuff and his clutter has been starting to bother him, which is good because that may motivate him.
He has also stopped dumpster diving and rarely makes any thrift store purchases now. Fingers crossed that he doesn't back slide. :)
Setting up systems and schedules, cleaning and organizing comes easy to me, professionally I am a surgical assistant. That's why the people that I helped came to me.
People need to be motivated to change or it won't happen. Some take a long time thinking about it before they act.
Clutter and lack of house cleaning are common issues that are more easily tackled.
True hoarding is so much more complicated due to the people's emotions/fears/thought processes surrounding their possessions. :)

Tillie
it all seems so simple,logical and easy for you

help is the only way things will really change here

why is it so easy for some

have you ever "helped" someone de-hoard and they back-slid? All of the families you helped were successful?

oh. you only helped those who were sufficiently "motivated"

so many posts here on this thread since the end of feb. when I last read here. may try to catch up reading some later today

Back story.
I have helped four families dig out and clean up.
They are all still living clutter less and clean.
First family was husband & wife with 6 boys all under the age of 10.
CPS took away the children due to extreme squalor.
Neither parent was a hoarder.
They desperately wanted their family back so were very motivated to clear out all the clutter, clean up the squalor and make necessary repairs to the house.
The children were returned after two months and the house passed all further CPS inspections.

Next was a family of father & mother and two young teenaged children.
The mother was a hoarder who was very motivated because all the relatives refused to ever visit the house again and the husband and children were tired of living with the clutter.
The bacteria levels in the house were so high that at least once every month the members of the family would be stricken with violent vomiting and diarrhea.
When helping the mother declutter I just sat by and acted as a sounding board for her decision making.
Discussed with the father and children how to reduce and eliminate the bacteria that was causing their illnesses.
The house was decluttered and sanitized and is still nice all these years later.

The other two families were just chaotic.
No rhyme or reason or house cleaning schedules or systems in place.
Now the dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc. are getting done in a logical and timely way.

I also helped a friend who grew up in a hoard.
The day he turned 18 he moved out and has never gone back.
He did not know how to or when to clean so I taught him housekeeping.
16 years later and he is still the cleanest, most organized person I know.
He has absolutely no relationship with his mother to this day.

Right now in my real life I am helping several people because they have asked me to.
Mostly right now it is about them changing their mindset, releasing their fears of the future and defining what they want for their lives.
They are taking baby steps decluttering but they are making progress.

The thing with helping people declutter and clean is that they MUST be motivated in some way to do this.
They need to have the desire to change.