Hi to everyone!

I got a little bit done on my vehicle today. It wasn't much, but I know that every little bit counts. Progress. I also was able to do a little repair work on a tool that was inside and got it up and running again.

Diane, glad you were able to get so much done today and got to play with the rock piles. :)

Tillie, I'm glad to know that you have the chance to be home with the kitties!

Hugs to all.

Thanks for the update Tillie. It is wonderful that he needs to have a clean room to recover in, less stink coming from his room after you clean it. Of course I hope to hear that they fixed his brain while in hospital. Sweet dreams

Never saw a hearse with a trailer hitch Dave

GREAT to see so many posts! :D
Promise I will read them tomorrow when my brain is less foggy.

Hospital is 75 miles away from my home & that's why I stayed with friends.
But today I felt things are settled enough that I drove home.
So wonderful to be back home with my kitties! :D
He still has to stay in the hospital for now.
Maybe tomorrow I will start to dig out his bedroom so he will be able to get in there using a walker.
Right now there is just a small goat path surrounded by heaps of "stuff" and very unsanitary for a person with deep surgical incisions running the length of both legs.
Will need all your help and encouragement to tackle this.
But for now I am just looking forward to sleeping in my own bed with my cats. :D

Good night & sweet dreams (((hugs)))

I guess I could ask to be buried with a trailer load of moldy lumber and wide mouth salsa jars. :-)

Diane! Great work! We were writing and posting at same time! Glad the freezer is full! I'm plugging away here and thinking of you and of course, praying for Tillie. Keep up the good work! It's tough but we are strong together.

I just lost my tolerance for the cr#%?*p in my life. It just got to be too much. My issue now is taking it to a a further level of getting rid of stuff. But I also have the issue of just being a slob and wanting to clean my house. I so understand the issue of the books. But it was like something within me snapped last summer. I'm able to weed through my things much easier. A biggie for me was when I realized I'd gathered a lifetime of stuff just in case anyone ever needed it. I think that happened around August of last year. I can tell you honestly and truly, I no longer have anything in my house that I am keeping for some undefined person who might have a need for it someday. That was huge. HUGE to let go of trying to be everything to everybody. I also made a pile I called "boulevard of broken dreams," where I accepted that I won't be knitting this pair of mittens or that scarf, and got rid of all of my knitting stuff. I also got rid of other projects that didn't pan out. I got rid of ironing board, I don't iron, have all my stuff done by drycleaner, and can steam the wrinkles out with my steamer. I just ran through the stuff. The second level of dehoarding was actually easier than I would've expected, but at that point I'd worked through the anxiety. Still only regret getting rid of one thing--just the one. I gave someone an oil painting I'd done as a child. I gave it to the friend who visited me and deep cleaned my kitchen and sorted my papers. And even that I shouldn't dare be upset about--she commented on it quite a bit and when I mentioned I'd painted it, she couldn't believe it so on impulse I stated, take it. So I gave it to her out of love. She accepted me and she took apart my fridge and cleaned it and she deep cleaned my kitchen. Happily and sweetly.

Dave, I realize this all was like a miracle but I feel free and strong. I need to work on maintenance. Today I cleared off my dresser and polished it. It looks beautiful. And I dusted the side table and the other table in my room. Maintenance will mean every week. I need to find a way to do that. It is hard and painful. But this is the price of my freedom. It's a hefty charge. And worth it.

And I needed every single person here. Still do. Much love to Tillie, Diane, LR, Dianne, Bitsy, Roxie--everyone. We are getting this done!

Tat and Dave, I enjoyed your book discussion. I too, have gotten rid of tons of books. you reminded me to get rid of more books. Unlike you, I am not a reader, just bought lots of books I planned to read. Emotional attachments to books that promised to make life better, if I would just read them.
Today I finally went to Trader Joes and Costco. My little freezer is finally full of good stuff. Costco had organic strawberries that are so good. I also took care of an IRA issue I have put off for months.
I was tired after all that shopping, so just fiddled around with my rock piles. I set timer this morning and washed dishes.
Thanks LR.
Hi Tillie, how are you feeling?

Dave, I finally got to the point where if I had found something damaged or mildew-ridden (which I did not) I would've felt a burst of relief, as in "now I no longer have to make the decision"-- the mold and mildew would've settled it for me. (TOSS). I'm glad you read the other posts because I tried to answer your question and explain my thought-process. It is so very hard, Dave.

This weekend while going to goodwill to drop stuff off I noticed a luggage rack/folding cart in my trunk. I asked Mom if I could donate it, and she said no. I said, that's fine but it's going in your apt (said with some attitude). So then I said, what do you need it for (she can barely walk now even with her walker and will likely need a wheelchair soon, if not yesterday) and she said she needs it, it's hers and she has a big box of stuff to move. Being a daughter, it's important to keep the mother-daughter conflict going, so I asked her who she thought would be moving the box, because if it's me or my BF we will use a dolly or a hand truck, not the luggage rack/cart. She finally relented and I handed it over to goodwill. She was saving it for no reason. She was saving it because it's hard to give up stuff. And because she doesn't recognize that she's 85. She's human. But since she's my mom, I pushed her. Anyone else, fine, take it, what do I care. But she's my mom.

Sorry, I just saw the post immediately below. Didn't relize there were others. I will read them too.

Let me correct myself--I mentioned having phony emotional attachment to some gift books. I also had and have very real emotional attachments to other books. Books I was reading at a certain tough time in my life, what I was reading when I learned my father was dying, etc. but in examining my emotional attachments, I was able to weed out and prioritize where I was actually feeling an emotional attachment and where I placed one because so-and-so gave to me 100 years ago and I didn't even like/read the book.

I am nit and would not insult anyone (including myself) for having attachments. I was merely separating my wheat from my chaff.

LR I seem to remember how you supported me. It stands out in my mind because I was brand new here and you were so loving. That is true for everyone here (I dearly remember Tillie's first post which mentioned me!) but you were giving me understanding when I didn't think anyone could ever understand me.

Tatoulia, thanks for that great description of how you reduced the number of books you have. Very helpful!

Not that it matters, but I wasn't a child in the 1939s. I merely used to, as a child, go to garage sales to see if they had any nancy drew books. I donated all of them--decided to make someone's day if they went into goodwill and found them to resell.

I also told myself that the books are out there in the world, and that's enough for me. If I really need to see a book again, I'll go buy it. I have NO regrets, not pining for even one. Made my peace with it.

Dave, it broke my heart. But here's how I did it (you need to bear in mind I got rid of over 10, and more likely close to 15, copy paper sized boxes of books).

First, I did the easy ones. Books I didn't like and/or would never read again. Easy. I also got rid of duplicates (why three copies of a book). Then I moved on to books people had given to me and that I didn't like, so I was only keeping because of some phony emotional attachment.

I also still had some college books that I kept for some pretend reason or another--poof, gone. Luckily I'd gotten rid of grad school books long ago.

Childhood books: more of a struggle. Ultimately only allowed myself to keep the four or five Nancy Drew books that I really will read again. Rest, even though from the 1930s, were donated. Children's books were given a last loving look, kept half, gave a favorite to a friend for her child, and saved the ones on French for my boyfriend.
That's essentially the process. It is continually being refined so I can get rid of more. Tough, painful, needed to stay well-hydrated.

There were a few more categories, including books I'd bought in my 20s to look cool or artsy.

IT IS ALSO HELPFUL TO HAVE A KINDLE. I stopped buying books likely five years ago. It also (sadly) helpful that there are no bookstores around for me to go in and browse and buy.

Hi again, everyone. While I was on chat tonight, I realized that I am at my one year "anniversary" of being in chat and on the message board. Thanks for all the help and encouragement you all have given me this past year!!

Hello Everybody!

Thank you (((HUGS)))
First surgery didn't work right.
He is back in surgery again.
Other stuff going on too.
I am hanging in there, doing the best I can.
Been living on too much sugar and too much caffeine and not enough sleep.

Take care.

Love, Tillie

I just now got back to reading more posts and just saw all the "hospital news," Tillie. Many hugs. I am definitely sending thoughts your way.

Congratulations on paperwork progress, Bitsy!

It is snowing here, again, big flakes, looks pretty, esp with my vase of fifty daffodils on the table.

Sending regards to everyone, thinking of you all and praying for Tillie

Also I got part way sorting through a bag of paper work and so I may have most of tax stuff together. Paid some bills.

LR2014 thanks for keeping us up to date. Try not to be so hard on yourself.
It's so difficult (for me anyway) to work on the car very much in winter or if it's pouring rain. Finally the weather is warmer here and hopefully where you are. it lifts the spirits and makes it easier to get moving. I had to smile. I don't know when's the last time I've heard anybody say "diddly squat" !!

Hey, Diane, good to see you. Took mom out today. Got a bag together to drop off at goodwill. Jeans and pjs--I bought new beans and pjs last week so got rid of some. Doing laundry, but that doesn't count for me--the trick will be to see if I fold and put away. I have all dishes in dishwasher--not in sink. Ran dishwasher last night and emptied this AM. I am much, much happier when I tend to dishes and folding/putting away laundry. Each task probably takes five minutes, tops, and yet my happiness is huge. I need to remember this.

I just made food and ate it--on weekends my eating times get messed up. I end up skipping lunch and then get shaker and over hungry by four. I need to correct that, but first I need to do more re: clutter. I need to be stronger and more proactive.

Hi Tat and LR. How are you Tillie and Dave. Tanner just went home, boo hoo. So much to do and here I sit. Cloudy skies are not my friend.

Hello LR! How are you? Let's commiserate, happily, together! My coffee table is still a mountain of God knows what and my taxes aren't done! But today is a new day. AND dreaded closet only half done. Gee whiz. Now I'm picking on myself....allow me to pour another cup of coffee and start doing! Glad to hear from you!

Hi, everyone. I'm doing a little late-night catch up reading on the message board. Grace, it's really good to hear from you! I was just thinking about you the last couple of days!

Dave, I like your description of having everyone's voices in the back of your head as you were struggling with churning. I relate to that!

I wish to announce that I've had a project on the burner for quite some time now . . . clearing things out of my vehicle and organizing the things in there (tools and such) that I do want to keep inside of it. I've mentioned this project on chat quite a number of times. How is that project going, you ask? It's not . . . it's not "going" at all. I'm doing diddly squat on it. Just confessing. They say it's good for the soul. Hopefully, it will be good for the motivation, too. Tune in later to find out.

Looking forward to doing more reading here to see what all of you are up to.

Beautifully said, Diane. I'll write more later, just checked in on Tillie. Thank you also for the kind things you said to me the other day. You are so sweet.

Tillie, I keep thinking about you and hope you are sleeping ok and taking good care of yourself in this stressful time. You have helped us so much, I know I can speak for all of us on this thread, we love you and really want the best for you.

Sending much love to Tillie.

Still living at the hospital playing that long boring
"wait and see" game.
Sleeping at Nate's house, he insisted.
Neighbor friend baby sitting the cats.

Missing you all.
Take care and keep up the forward progress even when you don't want to.
(((HUGS)))

Tat, you said everything was a mess at home, instead of giving up, look what you did, got to work!! So proud of you, regrouped and took action.
This morning I looked at small amt of dirty dishes, thought "later" then got dish washing tub down, put dishes in with hot water, no motivation, just know it is the right thing to do, they are soaking and I am on here to read and get support to get things done today. Tanners mom always needs to use bathroom, so cleaned the toilet this morning, ranks as least favorite . Still have plenty to do so she does not have to pee in a bucket in the yard.
Tillie, sweet friend, thinking good things will come out of this

That is a long day, Diane. Glad that Tanner is coming for a visit! I need to go to bed now and wanted to stop in to say goodnight to everyone. It is nice to have bedroom vacuumed, one bed table clear, and all the garbage and recycling out of the house.

To day was my work day 6:45am to 4:30pm with only one 25 minute break, that is a long day. When I got home, made a smoothie and sat in my rocks in the yard and searched for cool rocks, shopping in my yard, just as much fun maybe more fun, than I used to do after a long day (store shopping)
Just got online and read all of your posts, so wonderful to hear from all of you. Tillie, so sorry you are dealing with such a difficult situation Sounds like it is time for him to turn the car keys over to you. You are a survivor and whatever comes your way, you will deal with it with and life will be better soon. We all send you love and support.
Tonight is tv and relax, so grateful to stay home tonight and tomorrow.
Tanner is coming to stay for the weekend, so nice to have my boy here. I need to sneak away for a couple of hours and go to Costco, have been saying this for weeks, but really am out of food soon.
So happy to hear from each of you, hugs and clinks to all

Oh gosh. Tillie I am so sorry. Check in when you can. I wish I could help. Sending you love , prayers and strength.

Hi Guys/Gals :D

Thank you (((hugs)))

Still working on stabilizing him.

I am so exhausted. Need to sleep.

(((HUGS)))

Roxie, nice to hear from you. I will be sending you warm thoughts and wishes--we want you to be healthy and strong! I bought myself 50 daffodils. They are so pretty--haven't opened up yet but I know within an hour or two I'll start seeing at least a couple open. I took the 20 daffodils I bought myself last week in the hallway of my building. They have another day or two left in them.

Cold here but beautiful and sunny. Working from home with the occasional house work break.

I must tell you, Roxie, you sound terrific! And that was nice, solid advice you gave to someone new on one of the other threads. (Not that I would expect any less from you...it was just nice to read).

Vacuumed bedroom, cleared off and dusted one of the bed tables. Only put 1/2 of the stuff back on. Finding homes for the rest of the stuff. Cleaned and dusted table between windows (didn't have anything on it). Pleased with myself.

Tillie, I am praying for you and your lioved one. I know you mentioned fears and I'm sorry I didn't inquire further, sometimes I just think about things and don't verbalize. Much love. You can count on me. I know you are scared. Much love.