Hello everyone! Of course I knew you were teasing me, SubC! But the weight loss is nice!

Road, I'm sorry about your pain. I'm proud of your progress! Happy birthday to your son!

It's messy and dirty in here. We ran errands yesterday and although I was shaky in the beginning, I did rally and do much better. While we were out my friend Emiko stopped by and left my favorite bagels and flowers for me.

We both saw mom last night which seemed to help her. Because her place has active covid cases, all of her meals are being delivered to her.

I stopped by tonight but she was asleep, so I let her be. I didn't get there til 10PM and I knocked and when I didn't hear anything, I stopped downstairs to speak with the aides. Mom has known I was in the hospital really only to give herself something to focus on. She's worried about her birthday on Tuesday. I think I'll have flowers delivered to make her happy. I've ordered a cake and will bring her something for lunch.

I had a baked potato tonight. I wish I'd noticed how long I had it in the oven because it was perfect and fluffy.

That's the news from here. Not much but something. I'll be glad when the cleaners come.

Hi Road!

I'm sorry you are still in pain. :(

I am not afraid of heights, I am afraid of falling. If the bucket came up past my belly button, I would love it. I'm great as long as my center of gravity is below a rail.

Yay for your "new" fridge and throwing away old announcements and not being afraid to have people see your house!

Try not to buy anything this week.

It is hard going from kid birthdays to big people birthdays. My mom threw amazing parties! I don't know why we can't have fun parties with games and prizes and crafts as adults.

I got caught up on washing and drying my laundry today but only put away one load - we both have clean underwear in our drawers - yay!

My kids made dinner and helped clean up, so my kitchen looks pretty good and there are only a few dishes in the scullery sink.

I have five large bowls drying in the studio, and I found an important tool after it only being lost for three days. I was starting to feel really bad "I keep feeling like I am making progress and then things like this happen to remind me that I am a mess and cannot cope." but I feel better now.

Bean and I will bake tomorrow.

Hi Tatoulia, hi subc, hi everybody!

I am still in wretched pain from the other day. What's odd is sometimes it's only minor and I can walk almost normally. But most of the time it's excruciating and I can't put weight on my right hip/leg without it feeling like -ugh it's bad. But we had two outings (skipped the third) yesterday, and today we were celebrating my sons bday with my side of the family and so I was hobbling around all day today also. The weather and the leaves here yesterday and today were jaw dropping. I actually got to ride in a fire truck bucket yesterday 100 feet in the air. It was amazing. Half the crowd (small festival) want3d to try it and the other half were scared of heights. I boasted "eh, I've stepped out of a plane so this is no big deal." So I went up with a friends daughter so she didn't have to. My son wasn't interested either and let everyone know. Haha. The view was spectacular. Just that high you could see 5 towns away. Pretty cool. Actually,the fireman said he could pick out the sears tower but I couldn't see it (a little hazy).

Today the Ps and my brother came over.my sister is still sick but not with Covid, but she's been sick two weeks now. My niece who usually blows these things off or arrives or leaves impaired showed up and was straight the entire time. It was very nice but also felt some resentment that most of the time we can't count on either one of them. Anyhoo. But her being there made my son very happy. I think he's gotten to the age where he's feeling a little wistful for his childhood birthdays and a little let down no matter how much Extra I try to do for him to make up for his being an only child and with all his cousins living far away,etc. but I'm sure by the time I turned 19 bdays were starting to be depressing to me also. Just wish he was able to express his feelings more.

ANYWAY! I've been continuing to watch the UK hoarders show. Very motivational. I was reflecting today that there was no major preparty clean up this time because of the work I've been doing and the H did a big clean up the other day as well. He had to move his mom out of her rehab after her accident and back into her apartment. He said she was an absolute beast to the staff in the place so he was not happy with her. But he brought home a bunch of her laundry and is going to replace all of her broken laundry baskets. She grew up very wealthy but is living in low income retirement apt now. It's perfectly safe and clean but is super bare bones. Oh I keep rambling.

This was the first time I didn't bother to close my bedroom door when company came over in years. It's still completely trashed but not so trashed that I would die 1000 deaths if my other saw it. The floor downstairs needed sweeping (and washing!) but everything was picked up except my sons area which was actually worse than usual because he got into a "dumping" spree yesterday. The sound of things being dumped is so stressful I almost have a PTSD response to it. He's so much better than he used to be but this is at least part of how the house got as bad as it is.

Oh this is funny. My niece asked if we got a new fridge and I said "no, I just cleaned it and am trying not to stuff it..." funny that she thought it was new.

I bought some magnetic strips to put on my wall by the door (office area) with magnets with hooks on them to hang binder clips of projects right by the door. I am going to hang the strips with command strip thingies. Hope this idea works. Another little development is that I had two school activities hanging up there and as each one passed instead of getting hoardy with saving the flyer, I actually threw them away.

I feel like I've been buying a lot lately. Like I just got an order from eBay for some silk. Each skein was a good price for what it is but it was a stash builder instead of something I needed for a specific project so It would be better if I wasn't buying that kind of thing. I also bought a new chart that was kind of expensive and tacked some other things onto the order. Well actually I edited down what was in my cart by half But it still ended up being $60 or 70. I could probably do that once a month but it's happening more often than that. I am trying to get up The nerve to add up "stitching spending 2022"... yikes. I would like to go on a couple retreats next year but if I am going to do that I really have to rein in the general impulse shopping...

Over and out for now.

Subc, good trick on the kids. They are lucky to have you even when you're giving them a scare. Haha.

Tatoulia, I am so sorry you're dealing with some mystery allergy scares and have been sick enough to need to be in the hospital a few times. Not good my friend! Can BF do your laundry this week? If I lived nearby I would do it for you. Glad he's been looking out for your mom. Sending hugs:::

Good morning!

Still holding down the fort. Hoping people will be able to come by and have good news!


I started the wash and the dishwasher and found my overdue library book. The fact that I have an overdue library book is not a good sign. This is the second one this year.

Trying to be productive and make good choices today.

I definitely didn't think you did it on purpose tatoulia - I was just trying to make light of the only good part.

I got less done in my studio than I wanted - everything is such a mess! But a few things are underway. I think I will work some more tomorrow. Then Bean is coming in the afternoon to spend the night.

I'm not sure he liked the party - it was a bit overwhelming. But ge liked the kid in the avocado costume, and he liked the donut..

I was a little bit wicked tonight. After Bean went home, I used my key to go upstairs and get some stuff together in my classroom and load the kiln. That's not the wicked part. At the other end of the hall is a stairway. There is a gate that locks at the top, but there is a landing on the far side of the gate. The girls bathroom is halfway up the stairway and the boys is at the bottom, and then there is a doorway into the room where the party was.

Some of my teens had come all the way up the stairs and were hanging out. I snuck down the hall and rattled the gate. They nearly jumped out of their skins. Then I said "hi." They were torn between relief that it was me and concern that I am a teacher and they probably shouldn't be up there. They fell all over themselves to tell me they were just talking. I said "I know. I could hear you." One of them told me lights kept going on and off on the third floor. I said "yes. That's me. I'm working up here." Then I said "see you next week." And left them to their consciences. They're good kids. There was nothing stopping them from going out the gym door and hanging out in the dark parking lot, so I very much approve of their choice. Our neighborhood isn't bad, but it's not totally safe at night. There was a robbery with a shooting at the quick stop across the corner a few years ago, and the bus line stops at our corner, which can mean drunks or transactions on Saturday night. My kids don't need some middle aged drunk guy "making them offers".

It was fun to scare them though.

This wasn't planned, I swear! But all is well. BF is taking good care of me but there's not much to do. He dropped off a potato and a sweet potato for me last night together with a mini flowering plant that is so sweet.

I'm going to shower and we will run errands by car today. I'll bake a potato later in the day.

My house is a mess. I had to cancel the cleaners on short notice this week (still paid them, their income is built into my budget) and so it's not great right now. It's both a mess and dirty. And I'm not up on laundry at all.

We will see what I am up for doing once we are home tonight.

What are you doing today?

Tatoulia, I do NOT approve of this method of jump starting your weight loss!

I hope bf is taking good care of YOU as well as of mom! We need you to get better.

I pulled off lesson plans yesterday and my classes went well. I left everything I had in the classroom though. I did nothing last night but snack and watch videos. I should have gone to bed as soon as I finished my chores. I was going to try not to do this this year, but honestly, I don't think I can help it. I am an introvert who loves kids. Being around people exhausts me, but engaging with my students makes me happy. I think the best I can do is try to close my door and eat my lunch by myself.

Everywhere I look there are messes and unfinished tasks. I am going to ignore them. I am not going to worry about the produce that is becoming chicken food. I am not going to worry about the unplanted garlic. I am going to eat my breakfast, do my chores, and work in my pottery studio until time to clean up and go get Bean. I am taking him to the Halloween party at school tonight. Those are the two things at the top of my urgent/important chart.

I'm here. Was back in hospital for allergic reaction/epi/IV/observation. Doing much better now. Cried a lot today. Not good.

I discovered Gatorade yesterday and felt invincible after drinking about a third of the bottle. Then broke out into hives and tongue swelling, the same thing that put me in hospital Wednesday. So that's over.

I have a banana that I'll try to eat now. Have been on one slice of toast a day. Trying to be brave a try something else. BF is taking good care of mom.

Road, I used to say I was de-s$#&ing my mother's house and she I would laugh. Our laughs are harder to find these days but we are trying.

Road, yay for your walk!

Tatoulia, I hope you are feeling better! I worry!

Former student came by today. Quite the shock. I thought he was somebody's dad on a tour. This is the second time this year I have found myself hugging a man who used to be a little boy I taught! I am old. And they are bigger than I am! He is doing well. I got a chance to catch up a little. Unfortunately his big sister, whom I also taught, is in the hospital with covid. I can only hope she will be ok. When I think of her, I imagine a shy, smiley 14 y.o.

Anyway, on the stuff front - I bought a cutting wheel for the Dremel tool that I need for pottery, and I bought two weird round ball things at a garage sale to play with making textures. I think you are supposed to put them in a bowl for decoration? One has plants and faces and the other has fish and shells.

The goats seem pleased with their new fence.

Hey newsflash ! I took the dogs for a W A L K. Can you believe it? Lol. I really just walked to the end of the street and back but we have a verrrrry long street. It was about all I could handle. Now my back is killing me but I'm glad I did it.

That is all.

Love your parting thought... breathing room... letting the light in.

Sometimes I make an effort to use the term "clearing" instead of cleaning or *dehoarding...* ? now, that is a beautiful concept with an ugly name.

Someone in another group shared links to a U.K. show about hoarders. It features dr. Stelios something and he seems like a wonderful therapist. The way they share and edit the show is very compassionate I think but still pretty realistic. Definitely inspirational. I think it's called "hoarder next door" on "only human" - check it out on YouTube.

Another incredibly beautiful day here today. Maybe I will actually go out for a walk.

Oh, like back to school night.

I always dread that as a teacher because I am afraid of parents, but I liked it as a parent.

I am really stuck on what I am going to do with my classes today. Some of them are finishing things and some are not and I'm not sure how much time is available in each class. I'm also not sure what unit I want to do next. It's usually easy, but my own homestead is such a mess right now, I can't just grab whatever I'm doing and take it in. I better think fast because I leave for school in less than 3 hours.

This relates to hoarding because I think about how nice it would be to be organized and on top of things instead of constantly reacting and trying to juggle the too much. Even when it is too much good stuff, it is still too much!

My life is a little like Road's fridge was. Everything I put in there is something I wanted, but then things get lost or ruined because it is too full and there is no space. Space is a thing. Space in your environment and space in your days!

Glad you're excited about meeting your new students! And about your iPad! 😄

Curriculum night is just where parents come into the school and meet staff and hear more about students days and ask questions and stuff. For our kids it should be earlier in the year, last a little longer or be offered more than once a year but I will take what I can get. Good thing is most people seemed nice and he sits next to his oldest friend. The vocational teacher also said I was welcome to come In And help any time which is great.I think they are short staffed. I used to be able to do that in grade school and that's how I found out what was really going on and got to know the staff. Also - get this - they were asking for donations of empty vases, odd containers, old jewelry, and fabric ! Lol I almost blurted out that I was a hoarder and they are in good hands. Thank god I didn't. Now let's see if I can let go some of the 1000s of yards of fabric I have.

The MIL is still in the nursing rehab after her accident. Son #2 finally put in an appearance. First time since the accident. Evidently she really pissed him off a couple weeks ago. Usually he's the one who can deal with seeing her.

Tatoulia, hope you're feeling a little better. Thinking of you.

Road,

I am also out of sight out of mind! Sorry about your laundry.

We also have olive oil for cooking on the counter. But those other things go in a cabinet. I don't really think of most of tgem as condiments.

What is curriculum night?

I had a REALLY good day at school today.

I'm looking forward to meeting my new students tomorrow.

AND my fence is done, AND the bill is close enough to expectations that I can buy a new iPad.

But right now I am super tired and it is bed time.

Didn't get to the laundry again. I just realized the H took it downstairs to help me so it was out of sight and already forgotten. Just read an article about hoarding and it hit on out of sight out of mind and working memory issues. and also having a visual/spatial 3-d map of where things are. When something gets moved by someone else it no longer exists. I Check all those boxes.

Condiments on counter are spices, oils, vinegars, etc. I have a crock for cooking utensils, a basket for oils, and a basket for vinegars. The H would be happiest having nothing on the counter but would be ok with salt pepper and one other thing maybe. In actuality, there are about 50+ spice containers and other things sitting in that corner. I would work best having a fully exposed spice rack on the counter but our spice rack is in the cab. This means every time I cook or I would have to get out spices I need and put them away after. I'm short so I can only easily access the bottom shelf of every cabinet. So that limits options a little too. This is sort of the problem child in the kitchen- this corner. I think when I have the whole thing deep cleaned and am. Egged with daily dishes I will prob not be overwhelmed just getting spices out and putting them back every time as needed. Right now it seems beyond me.

Well, curriculum night tonight has my stomach in knots. anxiety is a beast. I feel so bad for people who struggle with it. I comfort myself saying I can wear something presentable, Will prob see friends I can chat with,and do not need to ask any controversial questions. And it's only an hour. Deep breaths. This is not in any way threatening your life.

That's it for now.

Good morning!

It's Thursday. The fence guys said they would probably finish today. Then I will know exactly how much the job cost. I saved up 10% over the estimate, so I am hoping it comes in under and I can replace my iPad next week. I was hopeful for the 10th generation one, but none of the improvements matter to me, so I will buy the less expensive 9th. Currently I am using a gen5 I got in 2017. I mostly need more storage. This is my only computer.

Tatoulia, thank you for checking in! Keep taking good care of our friend!

Road, excellent job on the not wasting food ! And the space in the fridge! I am curious about what condiments you have on the counter. We have salt, pepper, and sugar.

Good job on the closet too. I hope you get to the laundry today. That was a brave house inventory. I am not brave enough to look too closely at mine right now.

I brought four more pots home from class last night. Three of them are just "eh." But one is a fall pumpkin dish I really like. I may try the "eh" ones in the sale. Those had been sitting on my unfinished work shelf for a while, so I'm not sure if they really count as "in".

I want to spend some serious time in my studio this weekend, but this morning I need to muck out dishes and prep school stuff.

I have a staff meeting at lunch time and two new students starting tomorrow.

Subc, chuckled at your "don't judge me!" That's how I always feel, too. I get especially defensive when I think medical people are making assumptions about how I eat based on my appearance.
😖

Also cleaned up floor of closet. Last week I had a hamper in the closet for 1st time in a long time. Most of the clothes hit the basket but my son is always throwing his dirty clothes at my head and a lot of those hit the floor. But anyway got it all gathered up and hauled it down to the first floor. May get the laundry going tomorrow.

Now the kitchen needs to be cleaned (dishes) but I am tired and unmotivated. The kid has a dinner activity tonight so maybe we will go out.

Right now in my house:
- living room - picked up and decorated (I wouldn't call it clean because. when is the last time anything was "cleaned" but it looks ok if someone came in.
- dining room - shelves are 1/2 tidy and 1/2 a mess. Table is 1/2 & 1/2 also. Couple bags on floor. Piano and desk are clean.
- bathroom is fine
- kitchen - counters full of groceries and dirty dishes and too many condiments. But open the fridge - I dare you ! It's practically clean! 😆
- sons play area (disaster)
- basement - fully hoarded with bins (floor to ceiling) and clear pathways
- garage - fully hoarded 1/2+ in bins/organized but full - 100s of bins. Very narrow pathway on one side only now.
- Upstairs bath is fine
- sons room - messy but ok
- master - clean
- my room - messy, back half still lightly hoardy, front half just messy. Clear path to door. Organized (but messy) office area.

Hi Tatoulia - hugs💗💗💗

Something fun to report.
Well, a couple.
1) the H finally noticed the fridge. Haha
2) we did t waste any leftovers this week - it's a minor miracle. Very pleased.
3) saw fridge shelf liners at Aldi today and thought "oh! I could use those now." Bought em, put ?em in!
4) when I came home I brought in all the groceries. I'm still low energy (kidneys plus ??) but since I've lost 25 lbs (still +100) it's so much easier getting around, being on my feet, going upstairs, arching heavy bags. All of it. Doesn't seem like it could make that much of a difference, but this is what I experienced last time I lost 25 lbs. yay
5) had a little surge of dread thinking of putting the stuff in the fridge then I remembered there's all this space in the fridge now! Whoo hoo! Easy!
6) even after I stocked the fridge there was still room!

In general I'm psyched because when I can string together enough days where my brain is working and I'm trying to use the systems that help me keep track of things, i start to gain actual traction on solving problems instead of just haplessly jumping on and falling off the hamster wheel called life. Hmmm. Last time I felt like this I ended up deciding to become a professional organizer. *raised eyebrows!!*

Checking in. I know a lot of us have health issues and am sending my best wishes. Good work on throwing out the mice blankets, Road. Very good progress. Thank you all for the well wishes. Definitely on the path to recovery.

Good morning all.

Keep getting well!

Road, good job noticing messes!

Use what you have - tables, sorting space, whatever. That goes for groceries too. Obviously you need to replace the things you use and are out if, but take a quick look in that fridge and think of the minimum you need to buy to use/use up a couple if things that are already in there. Stick to your list!

Today is my long day. I need to throw together lesson plans, check some notebooks, find something to take to my class for firing tonight, do chores, and pack lunch.

I did not buy new cutting boards at the grocery store yesterday. I need new ones eventually, but it can wait.

I bought chips, salsa, and ice cream for Dh at his request, plus diet soda for me (a bad habit that has become thoroughly entrenched again), a bottle of wine that was on sale, and refrigerated ravioli for a quick dinner. I wanted to wear a sign that said "my house is full of organic vegetables, local apples, and homemade bread! Don't judge me!"

Gotta go! Carry on! Get better!

Tatoulia!! Omg are you ok? You have been on my mind - let us know how you're feeling when you're up to it. Sending you healing vibes :::::

I did a little more on the fridge today & did all the usual taking care of the doggies and took the garbages out, etc. Tomorrow I prob need to hit the grocery store and do some laundry. I took a look at my sons shelves and was motivated to clean in his room. Have only felt that urge one other time in last 6 months. He cleans and dad does too so his room is ok but I just took notice of the feeling
Which shows you how rare it is. or I should say a sign of progress.

Subc, I'd say about half the garage is in bins and half is kind of piles. I think that's a good strategy. I think I will get another 6' table for that. Actually, I do have a sorting area already in the basement. I should just clear that out and use that. I was working down there a bit last month. I got out the Halloween stuff and lined up the main Christmas bins. I did a bunch of old laundry and threw out some blankets and stuff that got mouse damaged a few years ago. To me the garage is both harder to navigate physically and probably has the harder stuff to purge. Maybe if I clear some stuff out of the basement I would be motivated to at least clear a bigger path in the garage. well, either way it's all good.

Goodnight Johnboy. Goodnight JimmySue.

Today's panic -

While looking for lesson plans I found my plate renewal and realized I've been driving on expired plates for two weeks.

Panicked, abandoned plans to try to get beet greens (urgent) into fridge while they are still edible and left early for BMV.

No line, was in 30 day grace period, so no fine or late fee.

Now at school half an hour early with a large hit of adrenaline in my veins and an inadequate coat. Fire drill in 45 minutes. I think my classes are going to be a bit loose today.

Good morning.

Sending love out to all the tummies this morning, and Lila's leg!

The cold and the short days are starting to get to me.

Last night after I took Bean home I wanted to clean up the living space and work on my pottery. Instead, I was delayed by a video call from Dd2 (more important - nothing urgent, my kids are just pretty much always more important) and then Dh came downstairs begging me to make dinner, so I did that, which ate up most of what was left of the evening and trashed the kitchen.

Bean and I did not bake bread yesterday because we were too busy with watching the fence posts go in - he needed to be outside or stand on a chair and I needed to be right next to him - because he was either outside or standing on a chair.

I don't have class tonight because it is a new session and now the class I won't be ready for (that I'm taking) is on Wednesday nights.

I grabbed a piece of scrap paper and did a massive brain dump of "things I need to do" which I probably need to plot on a quandrant chart.

At the moment I feel like everything is urgent.

Oh no Tatoulia!

I'm so sorry we didn't know!

Rest and get better! I hope the antibiotics work fast.

Been in hospital. Home now. Not sure if I mentioned the terrible abdominal pain I had last week. I have a diagnosis and am home on antibiotics.

Hey road, everyone needs a good star now and then!

Dh went through the digestive pain roller coaster - scopes and scans, severe elimination diet, meds. We finally determined that 1) he's lactose intolerant and 2) the pain is basically caused by stress. This took years. I finally found a holistic health and nutrition doctor who works out of a women's center in the city. Dh said "I'll try anything." He called her and asked if she minded that he was a man. She said "not if you don't mind that my waiting room is pink." So he got a referral to a fantastic mental health professional, dietary guidelines to follow when he is in stressful situations, an anti anxiety med for occasional use, and a muscle relaxant for emergencies.

He still has bad days, but his life is much better.

My favorite moment in the journey was when his mom (who is one giant stressor) was visiting and said to him "I hope we're not stressing you out" (because we don't intend to change our behavior in any way) and he said "no mom. I'm on enough drugs to handle anything." She thought he was joking. He literally wasn't medically allowed to drive the whole time they were here that trip.

Urgent but not important can be things with deadlines and expiration dates too - like "it's urgent that I make cheese this weekend because this milk is about to go off, but it's not important, because I still have cheese and the chickens can drink the sour milk" so if I get to it, great, and if not, I will not have to do it at all and the consequences are minor.

Road, are the things in the garage in boxes or bins? Maybe you could do some work in the basement until you have a "staging area" then you could take the boxes down one at a time to work on?

Right now I am cold and unmotivated. Bean and I spent a lot of the day outside watching the fence posts go in. Tomorrow they will stretch fence. They may even hang gates and be done tomorrow. That would be fantastic. Bean is napping. I should take a hot shower before he wakes up. That would probably help.

Lost my post again. Always letting my iPad run out of juice without noticing til it's too late.

Hernias hernias everywhere. Cm, I didn't read your post til after I posted mine. I had a friend who had to have one of those mesh surgeries repaired. Ugh.

Regarding the quadrants, if memory serves, there's urgent and not, and then important and then not. You want to be focusing on spending more and more of your time in #2 which is important but not urgent. That's relationship building and activities that feed your soul and build foundations for your future. Not important and not urgent is the quadrant of "waste" which is where a lot of people spend a lot of their time, but it just doesn't benefit you in anyway - it's where you go when you're tanked. Video games, junk tv, stress eating... Urgent and not important is also a waste - you're just getting sucked into other people's vortexes essentially. Important/urgent can't be avoided really, but you can examine what you consider is important and try to minimize the urgency of things... at least that's what I remember about this concept.

I always liked the 80/20 concept. It's the idea that if you pick the right 20% of things to focus on in your life, you will get 80% of all your rewards there. Alternatively, you can spin your wheels on working on the 80% of your life that will only pay off in 20% of rewards... you can approach a given task or project with the simple question - is this something that will have a big reward for me or is it likely to be a waste of time? It gets you into thinking what the end results of something will be and not just what feels most pressing at the moment/what's in your face?

Haven't thought much about these things for awhile...

I just straightened my Standing desk again. It was really great for wrapping gifts, too. It is still a little warped I guess but I will keep it for now. I am not sure what to work in next in my room. Lots of things to choose from.

Now that I am gaining some traction on my room and kitchen, etc. I am starting to think about the basement and the garage again. I know making elbow room in the garage would mean more to the H but as it's starting to get colder I'm thinking more in terms of the basement. Also the garage is so packed now I am really not sure where to start. I think I would need to buy a tent or something... any ideas?

Hi all,

Subc, thank you for the gold star! A gold star for adulting. Not very adult of me to want that is it?! Lol

Productive morning so far...

- Emptied dishwasher
- made pumpkin muffins (what?!?!)
- cleaned out another shelf in fridge, dumped a bunch, and cleaned some of the surfaces in the fridge... so far doing a good job maintaining everything I've cleaned in there. I think I figured there were 14 sections and I have 5 left to go. After that I may redo the cabs. Or figure out a perm solution for the condiments overflowing the corner counter. drives the H insane.
- posted progress pics in the fb hoarding group I'm in
- Talked w Vet about older doggies health issues
- fed dogs & got them outside a few times.
- checked on raised bed... one head of broccoli still going, and a ton of little Green tomatoes... the H trampled all over them fixing the fence, but they are still hanging on. Very minimal garden this year... next year?!

Sons bday was yesterday. Have several family members who either Tested pos or have been exposed recently so small gathering for party. We will do another Little one in a few days when they can come. Pissed that one sibling did not even call him. Furious actually. WTAF. Ok now I'm stewing. Anyway! The MIL is still in the rehab facility. She's feeling better so she's starting to be a little awful again. I feel for her but have to follow the H's lead on this. He's already said she can't stay here so we will see what happens.

Lila, I hope you can get a little reprieve with the teen being taken care of for a bit. So stressful being in limbo waiting for a slot to open up or whatever. Hope leg feels better soon... I'm sure signing the paperwork is hanging over you like a lead weight. Hopefully when you do it, it will feel like a relief. How are your health issues? I'm sorry I missed so much.

I keep having these attacks - chest pain and pressure like a heart attack but not a heart attack. Severe gas pain/ pressure... Maybe caused by allergic reactions? maybe hiatal hernia? Anyone?? Lasts for a few hours even after taking meds. And often repeats a few hours afterwards. And with my kidneys I don't think I can/should take antacids. Don't want to Go back to this jackass doctor again. But not sure I have a choice. I might already have a referral to a GI so maybe I will just do that. Ugh.

What's on the agenda for today, everyone?

Good morning!

CM, I'm glad you are addressing the problem - whatever it turns out to be - quickly.

Also nice to hear that you are getting some structure back in your life.

I have the raisin bread in the oven and the dishwasher started - the little teapot didn't fit, but that's ok, it still has tea in it that I might reheat or use for another loaf of bread to freeze.

I forgot to tell you guys that my mom sent Bean a book that will live here. So so far for October my in is one book, ten pots, and one replacement shirt. (The leaving shirt is in the donate pile, but I have not made the trip to the thrift store.) also I got a new barn coat right before the month started and have not discarded the old one - I wore it while doing fencing work because I was afraid I would catch the new one and tear it.

The pots are a log jam because I have too many pots. I make them, and then I like them, and I want to keep them, but I have nowhere to put them. Right now there are five pots sitting on my couch, one on the woodstove that has to move before we light the fire (and it's a high of 47 today, so basically - now.) and four in a box because they need to be cleaned up with a Dremel blade that I do not currently own, but want to buy.

My scullery counter is a mess. But not a huge mess. But the boxes I scooped into are still here. I might put them back on the counter for honesty. But in the boxes so I can move them.

I think Bean and I will mostly stay inside today. He can watch the fencing from the back window and we can bake. I am nearly out of bread.

Hi,

Still not completely settled but this coming week should see me regaining a little structure.

Last night settling into bed, I saw a bulge on my tummy. I'd seen it a month or so ago and prayed it wasn't a hernia recurrence, forgot about it, then last night was like dang, I am going to have to have the doctor look at it. I have a checkup coming up so at least I don't have to debate with myself over scheduling an appointment.

It's been almost exactly six years since the big surgery that was to have fixed everything, and that one can't be redone. It can only be patched with meshes. Two failed meshes were why I ended up having the big surgery. Sigh.

But I'm trying to think of positive things, such as hopefully I'm catching this early.

More about other stuff in another post soon.

Hi Lila! Thanks for stopping by!

I'm sorry your leg is giving you so much trouble. Sorry about teen too, but what was happening wasn't working, so maybe this will work. Fingers crossed!

Good job on the phone calls!

Yes, important and urgent things first. Then just important. Then just urgent if you decide it is worth doing. Sometimes I will do an urgent thing before an important thing because i know I can do the important thing later, but the urgent thing I will miss. If it is neither important nor urgent, you can ignore it.

I get into that "can't do the thing, so I will do nothing" place. It's hard. Later I get mad at myself. Resting is a thing though. If you need to rest, rest.

I did not finish the garden. I did not move the fence things. And I did not plant garlic.

The kids called and came out for dinner and brought Bean. He is asleep now and I need to go do my chores. I am putting them off and snacking on things I found in the freezer today. Sadly leftover dessert and not veggies.

I made dinner though. And I started the fruit soaking for raisin bread, and the kitchen isn't too bad. And almost every dirty dish is in the dishwasher! A few things are soaking and I will run it in the morning.

post 2 -

All I have done is eat and make a couple phone calls, but they were calls I needed to make, so that's good. I also tried to find a paper I need, but The Bedroom between-bed-and-closet Hoard has taken over. I think it is in there, somewhere. I'm torn between sorting all that stuff to look for it, and just moving on to do other things, so since I can't decide, I am sitting here watching tv. This is how nothing gets done...

I do need to decompress. I am not in a proper mindset to get actual work done.

I remember someone here sharing a grid. Let me think. Important and Urgent. I used it for awhile. I will try and rank the Important AND Urgent things as priorities and the Important but not urgent things as secondary.

Anyone else doing anything today?

hi all, it has been too long! I have not read your posts yet exept to see SubC having a good time here by herself! Sorry I missed it! I will catch up soon.

Since my last post it has been crazytown over here. Leg injury not better, can't get in to a specialist yet, had to go to the ER to check for a clot, trying to get my separation paperwork done but still not, because... Teen got admitted. I drove 4+ hours and slept in a hospital chair overnight and after 3 days they got inpatient. I hope they get the help they truly need. I miss them and love them so much but it is a relief, in a way, to get a break. Now I am home and trying to get my brain straight and figure out what to do.

So far today I just sorted mail, wrote new appoitments in my planner, and sorted some emails. I am trying to prioritize. Ex wanted to sign the paperwork while he was in town but that got short circuited by the crisis, so is that a priority now? Or not? I will email him and find out. I have my heat and a/c scheduled to be replaced this month. I have to drive once a week to do therapy with Teen. I have so much work to get caught up on, calls to make, everything is behind again.

And my house is in disarray. I feel in a relatively good place mentally, and hopeful. But again I am struggling to get priorities and a way to get caught up, with a bag leg and tons of things that shouldbe done now.

It's the subc blog!

Carrots are washed and trimmed - tops given to bunnies. They will need more work when I use them because there were a lot with nematode damage.

Leeks are also washed and trimmed and both are in the fridge.

Laundry is in the dryer. Compost went out.

Three wheels of cheese and six half pints of pesto got moved from the upstairs freezer to the chest freezer in the basement where they belong. Ten large ziploc bags and three items to recycle got washed. (Well, the recycling got rinsed - took 20 seconds. Why do I let this stuff pike up?)

The homemaking lady cleans her bathroom and vacuums her living room every day! Never gonna happen.

Ok, back to cleaning the kitchen.

I have picked all the carrots, most of the beets, all the leeks, and many green tomatoes.

I came in to sit for a minute and watch a video by a young woman who does home making/ homesteading videos.

She started the video by saying she always empties her dishwasher and starts some laundry first thing in the morning. That way she can put dirty dishes in as she goes, and at the end of the day there will be room in the laundry basket for the dirty things.

Then she labelled the broth she canned yesterday, carried it downstairs to put away, checked that her canned goods were neat and in order, and cleared and wiped her counter and sinks because "I'll be canning some tomato sauce later and there's nothing worse than getting things done and having no place to put them."

I would argue that there are many things worse, but five minutes in, I had realized two things:

1 - my house will never be as neat and clean as hers because she was basically ignoring the toddler at her feet the whole time she was filming and cleaning and there is no world in which any of those jobs would be more important to me than interacting with him - even if only to explain what I was doing to him and ask for his help even if he slowed me down. (He wasn't playing, he was just following her around.)

2 - she has a point about avoiding logjams. Because I have no idea where all this stuff I picked is going to go.

So I emptied my dishwasher and loaded it and started it and started a load of laundry, and took the dying sunflowers out of the vase and gave them to the chickens, and now I have had a drink and am going to rake out the compost.

Then, instead of picking more things from the garden, I am going to think about where all thus stuff is going to go and maybe make a little room.

Good morning!

I hope everybody is having a good weekend!

Dh has been working.

I woke up naturally this morning. Also hungry. Dh made a delicious, filing curry for dinner last night, and then I did not eat dessert or snack all evening.

I accomplished two things from my list yesterday.

I made cheese- a wheel of mozzarella and half a pint of ricotta,
And I finished digging the sweet potatoes.

I also cleaned up the kitchen, made an apple pie and some vanilla custard to freeze today, and I pulled out a row of dead beans to replace with garlic. I'm a little late planting the garlic.

Today I need to finish clearing the garden, although they've now pushed the freeze back to Wednesday... move a few things I have realized are in the way of the fence job, and possibly make some pots. The pots are becoming urgent. Apparently more urgent than the garden, but the weather is supposed to be really nice today. There is also plenty more cleanup to do.

Also, I miss being able to see pictures from other people, but I kind of like the "dinosaur" format. It is kind to my usually outdated electronics and poor computer skills. However, I just figured out I can do this:

🌟for Road for adulting!

Good morning.

Dh is not sleeping well, so I don't get to sleep - he is tossing and turning and getting up and down and turning his computer on in bed which keeps me awake. Then this morning his alarm went off early because he has to work again today. He begged me to get up and make coffee, and my chance of sleeping later was gone. So here I am on a Saturday morning when I should be caught up on rest, tired with a headache. Bah.

Road, it makes sense that if you get your fridge cleaned out and keep less stuff in it you will waste less food. It will be easier to see what you have and plan around it, and if your kitchen is clean it will be easier to make meals.

Impressive job cleaning your room!

I could never have a dog. Mr. kitty and I have an agreement. I pet him and feed him, care for his wounds, remove stubborn seeds from his fur and ticks from his skin, and when I'm around I open the door. He has a litter box he only uses if he gets trapped inside too long and he gets wormer if he needs it and a rabies shot every three years wether he likes it or not. In return he does what he wants.

I do not have any specific plans for today, but the house is a mess and I have a very long list of goals and projects. I'm trying to be realistic and choose the top two.

It's supposed to be sunny today with a high of 60, then partly cloudy with a high of 71 tomorrow, then freeze monday night and the beginning of the week. So I think it's put the garden to bed weekend.

Hi, oh I was hoping again I could figure out how to make a photo link work. The dinosaur format annoys me. anyway,

I was not inclined to clean but I committed to one small thing and ended up doing 5 or 6 things and basically cleaned a third of my room.

- I cleaned up the odd glasses, refilled the water filter
- nightstand top and drawer
- all clothes in closet
- hobby stuff where it goes
- cleaned up office supplies and chargers, etc.
- found a basket for the stack of "inbox" paperwork
- wiped down the table and swept the floor
- picked up some more garbage
- printed more pages for October

Now I feel like I got something done AND I maintained the office space and it's usable as a workspace again. I think maintenance is the lynchpin for me.

Good morning all,

Ella! Yay! I'm so glad you checked back in.

And thanks to all of you for welcoming me back. I am going to try to keep this train on the tracks.

I think my hoarding issues are inextricably linked to depression and still struggling with adulting... by that I mean things like taking care of your health, your house, your bills, etc. I realize you all don't necessarily have the same combo of issues that I do, but for me, when I Establish or maintain a healthy habit , that's all a part of this situation. Today, I picked up my sons prescription and took both of the dogs to the vet. One to get groomed and one to get her teeth cleaned. (My son was not out of medicine Yet) I have neglected To pick this up about 10x. Or in other words, I intended to pick this up at least 10x and I finally did it today. What is the big deal? I don't know but these are the dumb things I struggle with. Same with the dog. My sister has struggled so much with pet maintenance, it made me not want to get any more pets I guess for fear that I wouldn't be able to be a responsible pet owner. My husband really pressed to get the second one (maltipoo) and she 100% needs regular professional grooming. I have tried to keep it going myself but had to have her shaved a couple times anyway. This time it was 2.5 months in between and I did a better job brushing and combing and success! So the groomer just cleaned her up and dealt with her ears and face and feet and if I can keep it up we can keep her long and fluffy and just get her trimmed every couple months. Sooooo fluffy. Everyone had their shots, the older dog had to get some lab work done and we will see where we are at. I kind of want a gold star for adulting. Also last night made another "clean out the fridge" soup and tossed some stuff and made a mental note to clean out the bins again. For me the "waste less" goal is hovering, just out of reach... it's on a continuum on a point down the road a little. The point I'm at now - well, my kitchen related goals are:
- trying to normalize an emptier fridge
- get it clean and keep it clean
- do more meal planning

I actually think reducing waste will just follow along without having to work on it that much if I can achieve those first things. I don't know if I'm making sense. I'm blathering. Oh! I did toss another bag of garbage. I got the bedroom garbage and the bathroom garbage and tossed out a yucky old foam pillow from my sons bed.

I'm going to challenge myself to a mini project here in my room and report back. My night stand is pretty neat. Desk needs to be cleaned again, clothes are all in closet. Maybe I will try to ... hmmm having a hard time. Trying to resist the urge to set up another standing desk. I just need to clean off the two desks I already have in here and I still need a bed!

Over and out,

Hi Ella!

Good job on the trash! I hope you got your daylight things done.

The "name" space is for your name - ella. People do that all the time! It doesn't contact us or anything, so you can put notes to more than one person in the same post. Or still make a bunch of posts. CM used to do that when she would lose posts.

CM, I hope you are getting off of the struggle bus! I love thinking of you sitting at that big clear table in that peaceful space! Do it a lot so it will feel normal and then hopefully working on your physical space will feel like steps toward that and not as disruptive. Is the single stream getting cancelled, or is it expensive? Here recycling costs $1, but you have to have trash service to get it and the trash service is expensive. If I retire and stop driving past (literally within 50 ft) the community recycling bin four times a week I might resubscribe. They offer larger recycling bins now - although I don't know if there is an up charge.

Road, you gave a lot going on, but it sounds like you are making good progress! I'm glad the pictures are helping. I've thought about taking pictures, but I am still worried about seeing forgotten things later and feeling regret about discarding them.

My house is a mess again, but this weekend should be less crazy. I brought home another box from DD's house for the "baby library" last night - I went over after work and she fed me dinner because dsil was at a meeting and Dh was working late. Bean is going through a very bossy stage.

The fence guy is going to come today and put in the stakes and lines for the fence. Then they will start work for real on Monday. Bean will like that! I will be very glad to have this job done. I feel like once the pasture is sorted out I will be able to think about the barn - which needs a serious clean out, and make some good decisions about what direction I am going with the livestock.

Ok, once again not ready for school today, but I do at least feel like I slept well for a change!

Road - take your vitamins! I'll try to remember mine!

. Hi Road - just wanted to reply & send you some gratitude. I'm going to do a couple of things that need to be done during daylight, (time pressure, yikes) and it's almost 4 pm now! I'm going to post it here when I've gotten something done. Thanks for this nice piece of guidance - much appreciated! - Ella

. Lila, just wanted to say I appreciate your welcome message and very helpful reply! I actually have started with the overt trash! Sending you some gratitude! - Ella

Tatoulia, we'll said. I get it, and it seems like this will be more do-able already. more stuff outgoing; less stuff incoming! Thank you for your encouraging welcome!! All for now, because I'm pressed for time. - Ella

. Hi Subclinical, just wanted to reply. Thanks for your friendly welcome, and support! Seeing your words is making a difference. There's just something about this - even I have told myself some of these suggestions yet it seems so much more do-able & startable now. Much appreciated- Ella

I have been on the struggle bus this past week and end of last - can't remember - it's nothing terribly serious, just that there have been some good things and some glitchy things on roommate's home project front. The glitches have had a ripple effect.

I will get back to posting soon, and I'm happy to see that Road is back.

The screened in porch did get done and it's very nice. I'll get around to posting a pic on Instagram soon.

At the library again with my nice quiet genealogy room and big uncrowded table, working on transferring files to my new laptop. It's satisfying but not a fast process, as I'm dejunking along the way.

Hey, maybe working on this nice table will spur me to keep streamlining in other areas of life. My roommate is starting to go through her own papers and stuff that she hadn't had time to in all the hectic years of working a stressful job. That, too, is something that can get me motivated to do more on my own piles.

Pretty soon we'll make some dropoffs at the thrift shop, electronics recycling, etc. We're going to have to give up our single stream recycling service but may be able to take some presorted items to a place - this of course will need to be managed carefully so it doesn't contribute to clutter. And unfortunately the place is on the south side of town and we're north. So we won't be able to just nip over there frequently.

Really struggled getting going yesterday. Ended up taking some D & B & other vitamins. Sometimes when I'm in a pit I'm convinced it's a deficiency... I reduced my anti depressant because I started worrying it was causing my tinnitus. I haven't had an issue til yesterday so it's either not working at all or it's Working well enough. I was still kind of physically recovering also. After my son got home from school I had arranged for a visit from the "birthday bus" - some staff and volunteers from the special rec. came by and he got some balloons, a little choc. Cake, a goody bag, and they sang to him. He loved it. Then the H came home and took my son to visit his mom who's been in the hospital. She actually got hit by a car in her apt parking lot. She broke two ribs, her arm, and has a Concussion and a compression fracture in her back. We typically don't see her much due to her behavior, but she's been better lately, and the other son is in Hawaii right now. We have visited quite a bit, but even so she could do with more because she evidently has no friends whatsoever and she's lonely and she's also a little confused with the concussion... So while they were gone I got my second wind and did the kitchen. The dishwasher was run and emptied on Monday and yesterday the counter and the sink were already chock full of dishes again. So now I know. Two days to make a big mess. 30 minutes to clean. I even unloaded. I have been working on the kitchen a lot the past month or so. I have stocked dish towels in the pantry again (that seems like it's been ages)... I've been Gradually cleaning out the fridge one shelf at a time, washing cabinet and wall surfaces, and just did two of the windows... I'm taking pictures of everything - very motivating and helps with my memory. Bit risky though because my son could just randomly text some really embarrassing photos of my mess to my mother or a friend... but I gotta do what a gotta do.

Over and out for now. Hope everyone is having a good week,

Chores done, dinner eaten, dishwasher loaded and started.

Dh should be home soon.

His work schedule is just ridiculous.

I checked the weather and it has been updated to give me the weekend to dig my sweet potatoes - yay!

Good evening!

Road, I'm glad you are back posting! I hope you will go to tge doctor and get a good answer. I don't want you to suffer!

Another long day. Not hard, just long. School went well. And just now I finished the fencing work just as it got too dark to see. It is all ready for the fence guys - who will be here tomorrow, or next week, (or in November..)

I could have dug up some sweet potatoes if I hadn't made a stop on the way home, but honestly, that might have bern too much physical labor for one day. Tge fence was hard work.

What stop you ask? - goodwill. I bought a new cozy, thick men's flannel shirt to wear as a sweater/smock in my classroom. One of the ones I have is really getting too ratty, and I have decided I am tired of a courderoy one I used to wear, so that will go to the donate pile. Therefor, there is balance of shirts. (The ratty one will stay for home use)

Need to go do chores before it is truly dark, but wanted to check in and confess my shirt.

Carry on!

Good morning errbody. I've been up since 3:30 but I went to bed early so it's my usual amt of sleep, which is never enough. I have to go wake my son up in a minute. It's so early but I have to chuckle because I did it to myself. I fought to keep his foot in the door at the high school so my punishment is it's first period so we have to keep getting up at 6 instead of 8! Haha oh well.

Monday we went to the forest preserve with my brother and walked around the lake. Very pretty. I didn't eat any of the donuts or apples I brought because I keep having these crazy attacks... one theory is it's a birch pollen allergy that's attacking my gut instead of OAS, which is the way it's usually described. I have had reactions to plums, cherries, and now apples. I start to feel pain pressure in my chest that becomes severe over several hours. It sounds kind of like an esophageal spasm but not quite. I seem to get some relief from taking Benadryl and anti-gas OTC, but then it seems to repeat a few hours later and then I am wiped out for a day. Another theory is hiatal hernia? I had an er visit when I was up in Wisconsin and I suggested allergies and they went with that but I still don't really know what it is. Of course I need to go to the doc but * sigh * I hate them so much. Well, I gotta go wake up the kid. Hope to be back later,