Hi all, thanks for the updates and the support!

I'm feeling kind of sad and anxious tonight.

I feel like even though I've been working so hard on cleaning stuff up/recycling/donating/etc, it hasn't made a truly visible dent. To be fair, some of this is because I've cleaned out some boxes that were in closets, cleaned out some of the under the bed stuff, etc, so of course it's a lot harder to see those changes. My boyfriend is probably coming over after we go to the movies tomorrow night (tonight I guess since it's 1:30am, yikes) for the first time in several weeks and I'm afraid he's going to walk in and not see any difference at all. He has always been extremely kind and supportive and has never made a negative comment to me about my house. When I talk about worries i have about cleaning/rearranging/etc, he tells me that our home will be a reflection of both of us and we can work it out together. But the truth is, I really want to hear him say that he can see I've been working very hard and have made some major progress. He's not really attached to much of his stuff (I'm pretty sure that between our two small vehicles, we can probably transport everything he plans to bring in one trip other than the bed and one chair) so he can't really understand how difficult and stressful it is for me to throw away/recycle/donate bag after bag of stuff. It's not fair of me to expect him to just understand it either though. I have an appointment to see the counselor on Friday afternoon and I'm actually kind of looking forward to that.

It also makes me sad because I want to be looking forward to a fun evening with him (we're revisiting the site of our first date) without obsessing over what he's going to say about the house. And though he assures me we can work it out together, I am definitely afraid that my hoarding will ruin our relationship.

Thanks again to all of you who truly understand about this. Have a great day everyone!

Tillie your description is wonderful! One of those times where I sit in awe and say to myself, "I wish I'd written that."

Jar Lady--great work. Having our group here has helped me work through the anxiety, shame, frustration and self-loathing that comes from dealing with our hoards. Great work on behalf of everyone!

Great work, Mel! You are not hogging the site! I felt that way too when I first found the site and got on a roll! Keep it up! I know you are feeling great and motivated! And you can let us know without the fear of being outed. So keep it up and keep us posted. It makes me very happy to come onto the site and see everyone's posts!

Yay you! And, Yay all of us!

Hi, sorry, I feel like I'm hogging this thread :) It really helps me to check in regularly and report on what I've done and see what everyone else has been up to.

I worked and went to the gym, I sorted through a big bag of stuff from one of the closets and packed up a few things to bring to my friend's house tomorrow. I have a tote bag half full of books to donate. Before I go to bed tonight I'm going to try to sort through some clothes and put together a bag of clothes to donate. My garbage and recycling bins are out at the street now and I'm going to add a little more garbage and some more recycling. i think both bins will be full :) I made my appointment with the counselor for Friday. I won't be around tomorrow or Thursday nights so I'm trying to do a little extra.

Hope that we all have great weeks!

Hello everyone! Just getting in-had my haircut after work and then had a nice walk home.

Mel, how nice to read all of your progress. You are doing great! I hope you are proud if yourself because you are really tackling your situation! Keep up the good work. I know when I started my clean out, I would take breaks here to read up on posts--old and new. Very comforting to have this support system. I'm thrilled you've contacted your EAP for a therapist referral! Good idea!

Dear Tillie, Diane, Dianne, LR, Bitsy, Roxie, and everyone else--I'm thinking of you all and hope you are well.

oh I almost forgot! We have an EAP through work that allows us to seek counseling, so I called them today and a counselor is going to call me tomorrow to set up an appointment.

Hi all,

Diane, sounds like you're getting a lot of work done! Hope you got to enjoy the fall festival and hopefully you dryer is an easy fix!

Tillie, it sounds like you've done the best you can do in this situation, and I'm glad you're taking a few days off :)

Tatoulia, what great news that your mom is moving forward on her own too!

LR, sometimes we just need to sleep in a little. Plus you have a very doable plan for the day so that's great!

Thanks all for the kind thoughts about my relative. Before I met my boyfriend, I expected my future to be like hers - she moved in with her parents to care for them when she was about my age. She never married and never had a serious boyfriend. She dedicated her life to caring for them. I'm the oldest in my family and I've always been the 'go-to' person to help my parents. I take time off work to take them to doctor appointments, I help them out with financial stuff (I don't help them financially, just help them with their financial records). My mom hinted a couple times that if my dad dies before her, she would just move in with me. I love my mom but this was not the future I wanted. My relative's sudden passing also serves as a reminder that I'm making changes for myself and for my future. If I'm honest I'm not sure I would have started down this road of cleaning out if it hadn't been for meeting my boyfriend. Of course I'm wishing now I had started this process a long, long time ago, but at least it's in process. It's still bothering me that my sister "outed" me to my family but there's nothing I can do about it now.

I made some progress today. After work I cleaned out underneath a table at the foot of my bed and a little bit under my bed too. I got rid of a couple stuffed animals that I had emotional attachments to so feeling proud about that. Unfortunately there's more stuff under the bed than I realized. I also took a couple things out of a closet and got rid of them. I shredded a bunch of stuff. I put my garbage into the new garbage bin and it's nearly completely full. I can fit maybe one more bag in there. The recycling bin is 75% full. My garbage day is Wednesday and I'm actually a little disappointed I can't put more garbage out there! But I can always put extra bags in the garage and put them in the bin for next week. I also have more clothes to sort through so I'll try to sort through some more stuff so I have a couple more bags to drop off.

I have a few things I'm bringing to a friend's house that she said she can use, so I just need to get that in the car and go see her Wednesday night. I'm putting together a box for her (one more box gone!) Every little bit helps. also caught one more mouse!

I have a jar where I've been putting all the cash/coins i come across while cleaning (including in old purses). When it's totally full I'll cash it in and do something special.

I hope we all have nice and productive weeks! Take care everyone!

Hello LR! Glad to hear from you. Always brings a smile to my face when you post. Today reading your post was double important because somehow I had missed Mel's post and there was so much in there ! My apologies, Mel. Not intentional.

Mel, that is heartbreaking about being exposed as a hoarder so casually like that. I'm sorry. I know that must've been tough on you and you must be feeling betrayed. We are here for you and know the road is a hard one to travel. Please accept my condolences for the loss of your family member. And last, please take a minute to congratulate yourself for getting the mammogram AND donating two bags.

Hearing from everyone reminds me 1) I need a mammogram and 2) LR, I need to get back into the dreaded closet.

Much love to all.

Good afternoon, everyone!

Diane, I'm glad you were able to get a friend to help you with some things. Sorry about your dryer. I hope the repair work on it goes well for you!

Mel99, I'm sorry to hear about your family member that passed away. Sending warm thoughts your way. Yea for being able to send those donation items on their way and for all the other great work you've been doing. Sorry about that uncomfortable conversation/situation with your family members. Hugs.

Tillie, the "song" about the cars sounds all too familiar. I heard something similar (and quite often) from my beloved hoarding parent while I was growing up. The good thing is that now, at least in theory, we have the freedom to sell them . . . if they can be dug up out of the ground. (I relate to the tree part of it, too.) Ugh!

Tatoulia, it's so great that not only have you made incredible strides forward, but now your mom is moving forward, too! Whoo-hoo! It's so nice that you can be of help to her!

Me: I was extra tired this morning and have had a very slow start to my day. (Had grand plans originally. Frown. But tomorrow is another new day, so I'll keep that in mind.) Here are some goals for the rest of the day: spend ten minutes cleaning countertops and floor in the kitchen, spend ten minutes looking for more things I can sell, and spend ten minutes looking for more papers to trash or shred. I'll also plan to add to my gratitude list.

Have a good day, everybody!

Dear Tillie! You certainly deserve some time off. I hope you don't mind but the picture of the cars with the flora and fauna made me giggle. You do a great job and I am glad to hear you'll be taking some time off!

I have been maintaining and enjoying the freedom of a clutter-free house. It's wonderful and my life is do much easier. I feel no compulsion to hang onto things. When I cook it is so easy. All that counter space, knowing where things are, etc.

I stopped by mom's today to bring her lunch (I'm working from home today) and I noticed she has been working on one of her bookshelves and us doing a great job! I will find time to help her one night this week.

Take care everyone! Good to hear from you all!!

Hi all, it's great seeing everyone's progress! Way to go everyone! And as far as I'm concerned, taking care of yourself is progress too.

Sandy, it sure does sound like that animal compliance officer was looking for something to cite you about. How frustrating.

I spent Friday doing a little cleaning, doing laundry, visiting with my folks and sister, and then headed over to my boyfriend's for the weekend. Today I left there early to go to the wake of a family member who died suddenly very young (early 50s). Friday I did pack up two bags of clothes and it just so happened that when I went for my mammogram, there was a donation bin right across the street so I was able to get those bags out of my car right away. Today when I got home my 65gallon garbage and recycling bins had been delivered so I'm hopeful and excited about that. No luck catching those dastardly mice, I got a couple more traps at the store today and set them. Fingers crossed. :)

Today I also packed up a pile of my granny's old clothes (that were still in my closet) and brought them to my parents. Unfortunately my mom just plans on hanging them up in the basement, so I'm feeling a little guilty about adding to their already very cluttered basement.

My sister is the only person in my family that I've been honest about my hoarding with. My parents and siblings would of course have some idea (when I lived at home my room was filled from wall to wall at bed height, half the bed also had stuff on it) but I've never told them. I also confided in my sister about the leak in the pipe leading to my shower. At a family dinner recently, my sister wasn't there, but my brother said something like "you said you're a hoarder, right?" and then mentioned my leaking pipe leading to my shower (which my mom didn't know about). It made for an extremely awkward conversation and I'm feeling betrayed by my sister.

I was going to try to do a little tonight but I'm feeling tired and it's back to work tomorrow so I'm going to pick up tomorrow after work. Hopefully Monday will be a good day for all of us!

Hello everyone!

Sandy, I think the best advice is your own advice--do what you can and do not be afraid. I read your post several times and can't quite picture the set-up but I don't need to. It is clear that you have a big heart and are trying to feed as many strays as possible. Please see if there is someone in your area that can help you with your situation. Do what you can and do not be afraid!

I am happy to hear from LR and Diane! I've missed you both. Glad to hear of all the work you are doing! LR, papers seem to breed over night at my house. I shred and shred and shred and still there's more. Diane, once again you amaze me with your hard work!

As for me, no progress, a few moments of backsliding. Weekends are filled with taking care of everyone but me. I asked mom if she wants to clear out more stuff and she does and I asked her which bookshelf we should work in next. She picked the toughest, but the one that will have the most impact-- the one she us wedged up against when she sits at that tiny little cleared area of her table. I think I opened my eyes and her eyes when I discovered that situation.

Going to get up, read the paper (if it's been delivered) and then I am visiting a friend who is 95 or 96. I haven't seen her in a long time and I feel sad and guilty. So today will be great! I will bring pastries from the new patisserie in town (authentic French pastries) and will enjoy our time together.

Hi, I have had a busy week. Yesterday a friend came over and helped me do some work here. Today I Put two coats on steps on hte east side of deck that I scraped and washed last week. 2nd coat on the steps on North side. My dryer stopped working last week. Read up on it, guess I have to take top off and check fuses and something else
Tomorrow I am going to the Fall festival , lots of artists. I was going to go today but it was 85n degrees when I finished workiing here
'Nice reading all of the posts

Hi, everybody. I'm more behind on reading posts than I have been since I started here! My next task for the evening is to get caught up on this week's posts!

It's been a busy week for me. I got a major "financial paperwork task" dealt with and sent off this week to a lovely government agency which shall remain nameless. (I'd filed for an extension in the spring.) Nice to have that over with for another year! Yea!

I've continued to look for things to sell and have gotten a few things sold (emphasis on the word "few") during the week. Every little bit of "stuff" that goes out the door counts, as far as I'm concerned! I've also gotten some items cleaned up in preparation for selling them later.

I've done various cleaning tasks while working with others in the chat room this week. As always, that's very helpful to me.

I did a lot of physical work outside today, and I'm very tired. It's a "good" kind of tired, though, the kind of tired I experience when I've gotten a lot of good exercise. And I had fun while doing the work, so that's a plus. Now I get to relax and read everybody's posts. : ) Hugs to everyone.

Today I successfully moved a cat indoors from the front of our house where he normally runs loose, and this is an achievement. Most of our cats are in our backyard inside a cat fence, but 3 of them have lived in front of our house roaming free for the past 6 years. Here's why I moved a cat indoors. Last week the door to our house blew open during the day when no one was home. The mailman was alarmed, and he called the police. They came out and saw that some of our cats had run out. They alerted the animal compliance officer and the code enforcement officer about the cats. They came by the next day to nose around the outside of my house. I was prepared because I had spoken with the police. The animal compliance officer said that the cats inside my cat fence are not violating a code, though there are smells in the back yard that he said I must address using garden lime. No neighbor has ever noticed or complained about the smells in my yard, but the compliance officer appeared to be hunting for animal code violations on my part. He did not cite me, but he told me to fix what he deemed to be a problem. The animal compliance officer also said that I must stop feeding the cats in the front outside the fence (even though there is no code against this) because he said it will attract other cats. He said I have to move the cat shelter in front of my house to inside my cat fence, because I cannot provide a shelter outside for stray cats. There is no code against this either, but I am not going to argue with the animal officer and get him angry. He is coming back in 2 weeks to check up on whether I have fixed what he apparently deems to be code violations. I have been worried about this, but I am taking steps to do what he said. He did say that he has never had a complaint from a neighbor about my cats, and he acted amazed by this. Anyhow, it is my hope that I can show him that I did what he asked me to do and there are no code violations. My 3 cats have been living on the loose in front of the house in their cat shelter since 2008 and have never caused a problem, but now I have to move them. Oh, well. I will do what I must and try not to be afraid.

Very motivating to read about your Autumn cleaning, Tillie. I slept in today, grey day in the northeast. Have been taking my usual suspects on their errands. Coming up on 4:30 and I haven't done anything for myself today other than sleep in! Ah, the night's still young!

Hope everyone is having a great day!

Good Morning :)

WAY TO GO!!!! Everybody! :D

Already have three loads of laundry on the clothes line and a fourth one in the machine.
Washing mattress pads, a quilt, table cloths and other stuff from around the house.
Temperatures will be in the low 80s today so I am taking advantage of the warm day to get heavy things dried on the line.
Busy, busy day today. Doing lots of little things that will really add up in the long run.
I LOVE my "Spring" cleaning in the Autumn! :D

Have a good one!
TTYL :)

Mel, congratulations! You are doing a great job. I'm glad you are getting your mammogram today--For me, once I started working on my hoard, I found it easier to take care of myself. It was as though the chaos/clutter in my house was stopping me from taking care of other things in my life.

Keep up the good work! So pleased to read your posts!

Hi all, thanks for the support :)

Sandy, I agree with the others who say to find a cleaner to help you out. Is it possible to just tell them that the junk rooms are off limits? I do totally understand your worry though. When I had a plumber come out a couple years ago when my toilet wasn't working, he was not nice and I had worries that he would contact the health department or something. I'm really sorry that the other cleaner tried reporting you. That's awful. What about the second house cleaner you hired to come out before CPS came? Could you call them again?

Tatoulia, it sounds like your visit with your mom went as well as it could have! That's so great! Hopefully this is the beginning of a smooth transition.

Tillie, I love it when I wake up early and I have time to go back to sleep for a while. It's so nice!

I worked late today and went to the gym, worked out, and had a nice shower. When I got home, I really didn't feel like doing any cleaning but I convinced myself to sort through three boxes of stuff. Unfortunately, a lot of it was stuff that needs to be shredded, but I opened all the envelopes and threw all the stuff that didn't need to be shredded into the recycling bin. Now my recycling bin is full.

I made a to-do list of all of the stuff i need to do. It's huge. But it might feel good to mark stuff off the list. I'm off work tomorrow so I'm really hopeful I can make some good progress in the morning. I have a mammogram at 1 so I'm going to clean in the morning, go to get my mammogram, and then go do laundry. I'll be heading over to my boyfriend's in the evening and I hope that I will have another tote bag of books and at least one bag of clothes to put in the drop box on my way over there.

Happy almost Friday everyone!

Bitsy I would help you in a heartbeat! No need for a twin! You kept me honest and kind today. Thank you!

Tatoulia,
Sounds really great and balanced.Do you have a twin to come and help me? just kidding.Treasure your time together.

Sandy we are here for you. It is tough to break these habits. You are teaching your daughter resilience and perseverance and strength. What a wonderful example for her. Keep chipping away and develop new habits! I have faith in you. And if you lose faith in yourself, we are here, standing by your side.

Thanks to those who have offered support and useful recommendations for help with my hoarding problem. It's true that just because you clean your house once, it doesn't stay that way automatically. It takes regular effort, and old habits are hard to break. I will take the leap and hire the cleaning service. I will use the service that I hired the last time....the cleaner that did not call Child Protective Services.

Mom's a champ! I went over 1/2 hour before her dinner, so there'd be a definite end to the exercise. Mom was fantastic. I got her a chair and I held up everything on the bookshelf by the door. If she said keep, I put it right back. If she said donate, I put it in a donation box. We also made a box of books she thought my boyfriend's sister might like. She decided everything within seconds and I put right back if she said keep. No discussion, other than she enjoyed talking about some of the books.

It was great. She agreed that it went well and if looks really nice when first walking in. We got rid of more than half the stuff on that bookshelf and the keepers are nicely arranged. We discussed our next steps and I left with the boxes.

Fantastic! She had gathered up three bags of garbage during the day and I took those too.

I will try again on Saturday, but after I've taken her out for some fun. She was great. I will check in with her tonight to see how she's doing. I hope she'll be up for another round this weekend.

Yay Tillie! Sometimes those stolen hours on the AM are the best sleep ever! Yay!

Heading to mom's where I will be kind and understanding and not raise my voice. I'll brush the kitty at while I'm there because that's something that will make both of them happy. I won't rush through it. I'll show my mother respect. She's my mother, she's an old lady, she's tired and she's overwhelmed. Oh my goodness, I'm practically drawing a picture of myself!!

Take care, dear friends.

Good Morning :)
Great to read so many updates!

Hi Tatoulia :)
If your Mom is resistant to sorting out some books, ask her what category se would feel more comfortable with starting on. Maybe start with a pile of junk mail & work your way up to that book shelf.
Once she sees that it can be done without her getting anxious she will be more willing to tackle the harder decisions.
Keep reminding her that it's for her health and safety to have clear pathways, clear doorways, clear access to windows, no clutter around heat sources like heaters, stove/oven and water heater.
(((hugs))) good luck. :)

Hi Bitsy :)

Hi Mel99 :)
WAY TO GO!!! for all you are accomplishing! :D
Keep baiting and setting the mouse traps.
There must be a "bumper crop" of mice this year.
Yes, poison bait too often kills other animals instead of the targeted pests.
To keep mice from taking the bait but not getting trapped I tie a piece of food like cat/dog kibble to the trap and smear peanut butter onto the food. The mice get greedy and try to take the tied on food and end up tripping the trap. ;)
Plus the boyfriend's cats will appreciate any "fun toys" you may have running around.
Mice learn quickly to stay out of houses with cats.

Hi Sandy :)
Keeping a home clean involves "Daily Maintenance" and weekly, monthly and annual cleaning tasks.
Daily maintenance is keeping the home clear of clutter (putting things away after we use them) and cleaning a little bit to keep the clean areas clean (wipe up spills, sweep, vacuum as needed).
Since your home is clean enough to pass a CPS inspection please keep looking for a cleaning person to help you do the weekly, biweekly or monthly cleaning.
With this help you will be able to maintain your home and also have time and motivation to finally get to sorting out those other rooms.
I know you are afraid to ask for help cleaning right now but honestly, it will be the best thing for you. (((hugs)))

Oops I thought I was writing TO Sandy and mistakenly logged in AS Sandy! Last post was from me, Tatoulia.

I am so sorry about your circumstances. I have been working on my hoard slowly and surely and still I have clutter creep. So no matter if it's all at once, or day after day after day, the basic habit of hoarding is (I am learning) a powerful habit to break. Let me congratulate you on your hard work-- this is very tough and I hope you take a moment to congratulate yourself on having made great progress and giving your daughter a lovely home to live in. Don't be discouraged--and when you are, remember we are here to help and support you.

Mel, I'm sorry you are sad and I'm sorry about the mice! Trust me, once you have kitty cats living there, the mice will stay away. Keep your chin up--you are making progress.

Will write more later.

Good morning everyone, I hope we all have a good day today!

i'm having a rough morning today. I live across from a field and every fall i get a few mice in the house. I usually keep a couple traps out and usually catch them. On Tuesday I caught a mouse and saw two more, so I went out and got more traps and set them. Over the next couple days I caught 4 more and this morning when I got up, all of the traps were empty and i was feeling better about it. I decided to move a couple of traps around in case there were some other areas that needed to get checked. That was when I noticed the bait in the traps were gone, and one of them had several dropping around it. So feeling really disheartened now. I don't really want to put down poison because I don't want dead mice all over the house,plus my boyfriend and his cats will be moving in next month and I don't want to accidentally poison them with poisoned mice :(

On the plus side, yesterday I put out my garbage and recyclables, I donated a big tote bag full of books and a full bag of clothes at a donation box, and I gave my friend a box of stuff that she was interested in.

My boyfriend hasn't been here in a few weeks and a week from today, we're celebrating the anniversary of our first date by revisiting the place we went for our first date, and he's going to spend the night. I feel like I've made a lot of progress but I also feel like you can't really see the progress. Just feeling sad about it today.

Good luck to everyone today. Tatoulia, special good wishes for your time with your mom tonight!

Good morning everyone, I hope we all have a good day today!

i'm having a rough morning today. I live across from a field and every fall i get a few mice in the house. I usually keep a couple traps out and usually catch them. On Tuesday I caught a mouse and saw two more, so I went out and got more traps and set them. Over the next couple days I caught 4 more and this morning when I got up, all of the traps were empty and i was feeling better about it. I decided to move a couple of traps around in case there were some other areas that needed to get checked. That was when I noticed the bait in the traps were gone, and one of them had several dropping around it. So feeling really disheartened now. I don't really want to put down poison because I don't want dead mice all over the house,plus my boyfriend and his cats will be moving in next month and I don't want to accidentally poison them with poisoned mice :(

On the plus side, yesterday I put out my garbage and recyclables, I donated a big tote bag full of books and a full bag of clothes at a donation box, and I gave my friend a box of stuff that she was interested in.

My boyfriend hasn't been here in a few weeks and a week from today, we're celebrating the anniversary of our first date by revisiting the place we went for our first date, and he's going to spend the night. I feel like I've made a lot of progress but I also feel like you can't really see the progress. Just feeling sad about it today.

Good luck to everyone today. Tatoulia, special good wishes for your time with your mom tonight!

Bitsy, thank you for your words of support ! We will see how it goes tonight. I am trying very hard to apply all of the lessons I'm learning here and appreciate all feedback! It's certainly one thing to work on myself and another to have to help my mom open her eyes. I tried to use the word "we" with mom so she would feel involved and not so much that I'm coming over to just throw things out. I want her to feel like it's just a project, like knitting a sweater. Good to hear from you, dear Bitsy. I hope all is well with you.

Sandy I haven't read your post yet and look forward to doing so once I'm up and having a cup of coffee.

I have not posted here in months. Hello to all. Apparently I was under the incorrect impression that doing a major cleanup one time would solve this problem. But the junk returns. I last posted back in the winter when I was planning to move my daughter upstairs to a new bedroom. I bought her new furniture, and I organized a sleepover 12th birthday party for her. Before the party I cleared out the clutter from the house as much as I could. Then I hired a house cleaner. I was lucky to find someone at the last minute who would come out in the middle of a huge snowstorm and clean the house. The house cleaner cleaned and cleaned. When she was finished, she said she would be happy to come out on a regular basis, and she gave me her card. She said, "In 9 years of house cleaning, this is the second worst house I have ever cleaned." I asked, "What was the worst house?" She answered, "A hoarder. But don't worry; you are not a hoarder." Of course, she did not know that I am a hoarder, and I had spent a long time clearing out clutter before she came. Anyhow, I did not call her again because she had used ammonia in cleaning, and I had to leave the house while she was cleaning because it affected my lungs so badly. After her visit, I kept the house reasonably clean and orderly. About a month later, I got a call from child protective services. The lady said that someone had called and reported my house for being unclean. I am pretty certain that the house cleaner called them, as no one else had visited in that time. I made an appointment for the CPS lady to come over. The house was reasonably clean, but I hired another house cleaner before her visit just in case. The house looked great except for the 2 junk rooms that I have never tackled. I kept my fingers crossed that she would not look in those rooms, because there was no way I was going to get them cleaned out. They are rooms that we don't use, because they are filled with junk. I kept those doors closed, and she didn't look there. She said my house looked fine. She was impressed with my daughter's nice bedroom. The woman wrote a report saying that our family has many strengths. She recommended that I keep hiring a house cleaner to clean regularly. The problem is that I have been afraid to hire any house cleaner, because I am afraid they will report me to child protective services like the house cleaner with the ammonia did. Or I think she did. But over several months my house has been getting bad again. I tell myself that if I just clean a bit myself and make sure the house is presentable, then I can hire a house cleaner and not be afraid. But I am afraid. So that's where I am. I am working on doing preliminary cleaning so I can hire a house cleaner without fear. It's ironic that I am afraid to hire a house cleaner because I fear they will call child protective services over my house being dirty. Isn't that what a house cleaner is hired to fix?

I was glad to hear your mom talked to your sister and she sent you a note. It is great you are helping your mom but it seemed like you "were in charge"... trying to move too fast for her before she new how much she can trust you. I liked seeing the word "respect".

"and see if there are any books WE can let go of"
the use of we in this sentence is like a parent or teacher talking to a child.
I hope you take it slow and easy... at least at first. your Mom needs you.

Wonderful work, everyone! I am so pleased for you.

Received a note from my sister today saying that mom is really anxious. Since I stayed at work nearly 2-1/2 hours late to finish up some reports, I called mom to see if we could reschedule to tomorrow night. I'm perfectly willing to go now but thought instead we could spend some time on the phone, and I could reassure her that we will start with one bookshelf and see if there are any books we can let go of. I did not mention that if heard from my sister. I acted like mom was doing me the favor, and then we discussed her books a little bit. I emphasized that I want her to be able to stay in her place (even though it's assisted living) as long as possible and we need to eliminate the fall hazards. She was pretty cooperative. She did mention her anxiety, so I thought that was good.

I'll keep you posted. Great work, everyone! Tillie I love the smell of Murphy's Oil Soap. Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. We have a great support system here!

HAPPY OCTOBER! :D

All done washing walls & ceiling in the main room.
Kitchen cupboards all washed with Murphy's oil soap. Smells good in here.
Rest of this week I plan to do the other cleaning.
Stuff like wash the furniture with Murphy's, vacuum the couch, wash drapery, wash nick-nacky items and clean the ceiling fan & dining room light fixture.
I am so happy that the hardest job is all done! :D
Tired now, will sleep good tonight.

Hoping you all have had a GREAT day and everything going according to your plans.

TTYL :)

Nice to see everyone's updates! Way to go everyone!

Tatoulia, good luck to you for tomorrow. Be kind is probably the best thing to remember. It'll be hard but just remember that every little bit that gets done is progress, and that we're all here rooting for you (and your mom)!

Last night I did manage to go through two more boxes and get rid of EVERYTHING in them, which was a great feeling. I didn't break down one of the boxes because I have some stuff that one of my friends is interested in so I've packed that stuff into that box to take to her either tomorrow or this weekend. Today I feel like I didn't get as much done as I did yesterday, but I sorted through two armloads of clothes and completely filled a bag of clothes to be donated (including a sweatshirt that has my last name on it that I almost couldn't convince myself to part with) and only kept four pieces (a long sleeved shirt that I use for layering in the winter, a comfortable and pretty sweater I wear to work, a cute and comfy red skirt, and a fancy black blouse. And in typing this I've decided to pack up two of those items into the donation bin!). I also signed up today to rent a 65 gallon garbage can and 65 gallon recyclable can. they'll deliver it next tuesday, and my garbage day is Wednesday so that's perfect timing. I also did work late today and I went to the gym and worked out and had a nice shower. Wednesdays I go see my sweetheart after work so I most likely won't get anything done, but I will at least put my garbage and recyclables out.

I took Friday off work and have a mammogram scheduled for the afternoon so I'm going to try to spend the morning sorting through my enormous clothing pile. I'm hopeful I can make good progress on it. It will definitely help make my second bedroom easier to sort through if I can get the excess clothes out of there.

Have a great Wednesday everyone!

Hi :)

Looks like we have all been pretty busy.
WAY TO GO!!!! :D

Well, today I finished the living room area and then did all the dining room area.
Then I got the kitchen area all ready to do tomorrow.
Since the living room area, dining room area and kitchen area are all in the same room, it will be nice when every area of wall and ceiling are all washed.

Also got the usual daily stuff done.
Laundry, dishes and cat related tasks.
Been taking my time washing the walls and ceiling. Haven't been bothering to do any other type of cleaning in these areas because I plan to do that afterwards.

In doing all this cleaning I have only found three small spiders, Scooter ate them for me.
But absolutely no other types of bugs. :D

Diane, have a great time at work tomorrow. :D
Tatoulia, good luck and best wishes. :D

What a lovely post, Diane. I honestly don't know how you do what you do--so much labor! Ah the first really cold night --stay warm and enjoy the air.

Always happy to hear from each of you. Have a wonderful night.

Ps I hadn't realized that I repeated myself re mom's condition. Thank you all for your support. I will be there tomorrow night, after work. My boyfriend has boxes for me and I will get to work once mom is done with her dinner. I need to remind myself to Be Kind. Be Kind. Be Kind. Kindness is all we need.

Tat thanks for telling us all that is going on with you and mom. I did not see my mom as a hoarder until I had to empty her apartment. Just saw her as messy. I support you and your kindness to your mom. Tillie, you are such a good girl, eating well, taking breaks while working.
I woke up too early again today. Got up, finished scraping steps, got up on roof, cleaned chimney with chimney brush, then cleaned out the stove. Washed dishes. Watered bushes, then took a shower, washed hair and went to work. Been reading my medicare book that came in mail today.
I have no energy left, darn, really want to get more done, maybe will get second wind tonight.
Get to work with a friend tomorrow, looking forward to that, we have a 45 minute drive to another town, so will get to catch up on her trip to coast this weekend. Will work at a bank and a lumber mill tomorrow, so will be lots of fun. Today went to 2 companies that have the happiest employees, with good friendships, I never had that at my jobs, always focused on work, not friendships, so today realized how lucky I am to work tomorrow with a friend. Today I was more open to befriending the person I worked with, need to be more accepting of people that have different values.
Going to be under freezing tonight so that motivated me to clean stove, now will make a warm fire in wood stove. Want to clean out a teapot that I put on stove, increases humidity in here plus can have tea whenever I want, also so fun to cook soup on wood stove.
Fire starter is signing off.

Tillie that sounds like hard work--congratulations on the deep cleaning. Good to hear from Mel and Jar. Jar, I can't go to anyplace with vintage stuff right now. I do not miss digging for treasures--the treasures just became too much for me and I feel like I've od'd on it.

I was up at 3:00 this AM worrying about where to start on my mother's place. I spoke with her last night to give her a pep talk. I keep telling her that it breaks my heart to see how she's living. Again, I knew it was messy but I didn't ever really see it before. She has one tiny little area to sit and eat, and she's jammed up against an overflowing bookcase filled with books, junk, magazines, all of which are just waiting to topple on to her. It's a mess. And I know it's going to be a struggle but it will be worth it.

Tomorrow's the night. All suggestions gladly accepted. I actually thought I'd start on the overflowing bookcase by the bathroom first because it looks like it has fewer Things That Must Stay and it will be good practice to get rid of stuff.

Regards to all.

Hi all, and happy Monday!

It's such a good feeling to accomplish something even if it's not "huge" in the scheme of things. Every little bit helps. Tillie, I love the idea of the washed walls. This gives me something new to put on my mental list of things I can do around the house.

Tatoulia, lots of support to you. I'm glad that it sounds like your mom is willing to 'make a deal' to get some stuff out.

Those of you who have sold stuff... How did it go for you? If it didn't sell, did you re-list it? Did you have a hard time sending it off once it was sold?

I'm trying to hold myself accountable to doing at least a little something every day. Today I cleaned the bathroom sink and the toilet, and hung up a bunch of clothes that I washed on Friday. I'm currently relaxing but I think in a little while I'm going to grab two boxes from the other bedroom and sort through them. My favorite feeling is when I get everything out of a box and i can break down the box and put it in my recycling bin. I sold Avon for a while so I have tons and tons of Avon boxes all over the place (all filled with stuff, of course).

Sometimes I just want to take everything, all of my stuff, and throw it into a garbage bag, but i'm so paranoid that I'll throw away something important or something that someone can use to commit identity theft. But the idea of just stuffing everything into garbage bags until it's all gone is extremely tempting.

It does occur to me that once I get rid of all of the excess paper and trash and get some things given away and/or donated... i'm still going to have too much stuff and I'm still going to need to work on that. If I think too much about it I get overwhelmed.

I hope we all have wonderful Tuesdays!