ok, can I just come here and say I am having a really bad reaction to working on these old PCs? I don't know anyone else who would understand. Son brought them up, we hooked them up, I got out the external drives, and Son tried to copy the C drive onto one. It stopped and had some problem, so Son started deleting stuff and only copying one folder and I feel like I am going to have a panic attack. I know Son is doing be a big favor and probably knows what he is doing, and I am grateful he is helping me. BUT omg omg omg, my stuff, my files!! The thought that ONE important document, file, or picture might get deleted or missed is so completely overwhelming to me that I am getting a migraine. I had to step away for a bit.

It is copying files now. In my head is... what if the external drive is bad or fails? What if the documents don't all copy? What if the old PC dies before I get stuff off? What if what if. omg.

When it is done copying that folder, I need to go sit down and LOOK at the external drive and write down what folders got copied and then look at the PC and see what else needs to be copied.

I feel like I want to make 2 or 3 copies... some to a cloud, some on the external drive, some on my laptop... JUST IN CASE. What is wrong with me?? omg this is so exhausting emotionally and THIS is why it has sat there for 20 years. omg. I need to calm down.

Accountability post. Today so far, I:

- took a shower
- put my sheets in the wash
- put 2 large boxes into the garage for donations
- helped Teen back up their phone, which is cracked
- ordered a replacement phone through their phone insurance
- made baked eggs with mushrooms, a recipe I saw online. It was very good!
- unloaded and loaded the dishwasher and washed a few pans


I am going to make soup and work on getting files off the computers (as soon as Son is done eating and brings the rest upstairs for me). If TotsDad comes over, we will work on the garage a bit, too.

What are you all doing today?

Any plans for NYE?

Hope, I'm glad to see you made it over here! So nice to hear from you. We all can relate in some ways.

CM, I think the old old stuff is of no use. My Son is a computer expert and said no one would want anything from my old computer. The newer one, I may offer up on Buy Nothing to see if anyone has use for it. If you have not looked, Buy Nothing (add your closest city name or county name) on FB is an excellent place to give things away. When I have something I want someone to appreciate, but not ready to donate, I will sometimes post it on Buy Nothing. Then someone will get excited and ask for it. I then leave it on my front porch and they pick it up. Easy peasy. I like helping someone and not "wasting" stuff. Also I will take my old laptops and monitor to the electronics recycling, if no one wants them. That makes me feel good too. But no shame in just throwing them out, either!

Son already brought up one of my PC towers and put it on the table. It's a good thing he did, because I was just thinking, "nah, I'll do it another day."


Back soon.

Hi everyone,

Hope, glad to see you made it over here - I left replies on the other threads too, should've looked here first but oh well. Won't be the first time I've done things backwards, lol!

Lila, yes, get the files backed up off the old computer pronto, you will feel so much better. Also I recommend an external hard drive for backup.

I have three old laptops I still need to move on out of here. New Year's goal perhaps. It's just remembering to do it. I usually open them up and remove the hard drives and take a hammer to them. It's kind of sad! But I must remember that the files are well backed up, the computers are wheezy and obsolete, it doesn't matter that once upon a time they were shiny and new, etc. etc. I do not need them in my life now, bottom line!

It's a temptation to think, at least about the "newest" one, that perhaps someone could still squeeze a bit of use out of it. Hope, as the other ladies here already know, I volunteer with a rescue group for pet rabbits (and have had rabbits for many years and am capable of boring anyone to tears with bunny anecdotes and pictures - you have been warned!). The bunny rescue people need a computer. They can run Linux. Sometimes Linux can keep an older computer going a little longer. But they probably don't want it.

I saw a decluttering book advertised online the other day entitled Nobody Wants Your Shit: The Art of Decluttering Before You Die. So maybe nobody wants my old laptops, eh? Even that "newest" one is a 2011 model, albeit refurbished in 2018. Still, it can't run Windows 11. And the other two are older still. One has Vista and the other has... Windows 95! They need to go!

While posting on the Daily Tally, I got a brainstorm regarding seeing if I can downsize and consolidate two sewing totes into one, and donate the one not needed. This would help the space crunch in the craft room. Hope, my sewing is rarely people garments. I do quilt piecing and doll clothes (American Girl and Barbie mostly). My roommate knits, and we're hoping to collaborate on some ensembles where she would knit little sweaters and I would sew matching skirts or slacks. Then try to market them online to doll collectors.

I've found a few miscellaneous items that will be going away, and I want to keep dealing with art supplies. The rabbit rescue had a successful Christmas fundraiser and I did ornament painting with the kids. I have bottles of craft paint from that, and I want to consolidate it and the other bunny crafting supplies. We'll be doing some projects in the spring. And I have my own "serious" art supplies which I want to finish organizing, start using, etc. Soon will vacuum the dust from the shelf that my roommate got her stuff off of that I am going to be able to use for some of mine.

Covid recovery basically complete, a bit of leftover cold like symptoms in the evenings but during the daytime next to nothing. I discovered that a little Claritin, the allergy stuff, helps if I start sneezing. Even half a pill. Should be able to go exercise next week. I've missed it. I'll go slow to get reacclimated.

I feel like I could ramble about all sorts of things, which is a sign that the little wheels in my brain are turning with new ideas on how to declutter, organize, and make my life more the creative endeavor I've wanted it to be. But this post might turn into a Russian novel, and the day is getting on, so I'll hit Pause for now and save some of it for another time.

Hi All,
First thank you all for your selflessness and sharing during your own trials of life.

I am new to the group and catching up on the thread. I started with December 28th posts (and will make some time in the coming days to read prior posts in more detail).

Tatoulia - Please accept my condolences on losing your mother. While I don't know how you feel, I unfortunately understand the pain of losing a mother. Also, great job on the progress you are making with finding a new home for some many of your mother's belongings. I'm still struggling in this area.

Lila - I understand the emotional roller coaster and hope that you are feeling better today. Also, great job on your daily tally. I see that you are almost at your goal or by now may have reached it. CONGRATULATIONS!!! -- I will circle back on your question regarding most cluttered room but thanks for asking. I'm embarrassed to say that no room is currently fully functional. This for me is the worst that it has ever been. it used to be a room or two (with doors that I could close) that were used to "store" things. Now it's spilled over into other rooms.

CM - I see that you're recovering from Covid. I hope that you feel better. Also, I noticed that you have a love of sewing. So do I. Well, I actually just learned how to sew about a year ago. I'm still a novice really. I can make a dress, pants, and skirt. I got laid off a few months ago. This and other loss and life issues, along with hoarding has left me struggling to focus on much of anything. I too love reading but sometimes have trouble focusing. Great job on getting through a whole book!!! I should also state that I haven't really figured out what to do with my sewing material that I've accumulated and that depresses me some. I'll pick it up at some point, I believe my mood was better when I was sewing. However, like reading it's hard to focus when it feels like the world is crashing in and and I feel smothered by this junk.

Are any of you in therapy regarding hoarding? If so, do you find it helpful? Now that I have acknowledged that I am a hoarder, I am trying to understand why. don't fully understand its connection to trauma and loss. Of course, I can and will read up on this new revelation but was wondering.

there is a piece of me that wants to delete this whole thread so I'm going to hurry and post the reply. sorry for any typos and for rambling.

CM! I am so happy about you figuring out the sewing machine and getting it back into commission! It's these little victories that matter so much.

I understand exactly what you mean about things silently reproaching you whenever you walk past! For me, it is my old computers. Every time I go downstairs, I see my old desk with my two old windows PCs on it. There is a monitor and two towers. Let's see... one has to be from around 2001, and the other from maybe 2010! They are not connected to the internet. At least I don't think they are. I don't think they have wifi... they have to be attached by a cord. Why do I still have them, sitting on a desk for so many years, never being used?? Because ALL the family pictures from 2007 to about 2015 are on them! Plus a LOT of files. I don't even know what files. I used to write poetry, so those are on there. Maybe essays my kids wrote when they were little, maybe emails from old boyfriends, probably pictures of me from when I was trying to snag a new husband online! omg. It will be a huge blast from the past to get into those...

So, I think what I will do is ask Son to help me get them up and running tomorrow, maybe attached to the internet even, and try to get all those files either uploaded to a Cloud or transferred to an external drive I have. Oh I am scared of the files really! I was a whole different person 20+ years ago. But I am also scared that all those photos and files would be lost if the things died. Or if I died and no one knew the passwords and no one realized the precious photos and videos on there. So... I will try and access them tomorrow, while Son is not at work. I am quite sure I don't know the passwords, if there are passwords... which there were, because my kids would get on there and mess with things. So I will sit around guessing passwords until I can get on.

It should be an adventure tomorrow. But I am tired of those computers mocking me and I am ready to get everything off them and get rid of them (probably. that is the point and goal, but I have a weird uneasy feeling about only having a laptop and not a PC. but I could add I have two laptops in my bedroom that also have files saved on them that I need to get off.. sigh).

Whatcha all doing this weekend?

TotsDad did not make it over today (my fault, I was running Teen to appts) but will come tomorrow to work on the garage if I'd like.


.

Lila, I forgot you have the ex's stuff, so you do get what I am referring to! Although among us only Tatoulia lives alone, but she is also currently having the decisions to make regarding her mother's things. So we're all kind of there more than I realized.

The thread went wide when for some reason SubC's recent posted URL link didn't line break itself, and I'm not sure why it didn't. I'm a geek but not that far in the weeds on such details. Whatever happened, the page thinks it needs to be wide enough to contain the entire thing. But soon we shall have a new page and it should be normal size.

SubC, I'm a late Boomer (born 1962) but recently there has been a subcategory dreamed up for those who like me were born later in the Boomer generation. It's called "Generation Jones." See this website for more: Generation Jones

It was born (lol) when people began realizing how we younger Boomers had little life experience in common with our older Boomer cohort; they were the ones who went to Vietnam, went through the social upheavals of the Sixties, etc. We just kind of watched it all from the perspective of little kids or junior high age.

Tatoulia, you have accomplished so much in such a short time. Hope you get time to rest and recuperate and do something that nurtures your spirit.

My roommate left this morning - she had been frantically finishing Christmas projects that she makes for the younger ones so it has been kind of crazy this week. It's nice and sunny here, and since she had been using the kitchen table for her sewing, it was nice and cleared off - so I did a thing...

I got my own sewing machine from the back room, where it has been sitting in limbo for several months since the time in June when it started having crazy issues with the tension and making "bird's nests" of thread on the underside of everything I sewed. That was when my cousin had brought me the unexpected project of repairing school uniforms and I had a stressy time trying to figure out how to get them done. Right on the heels of that was when roommate's back and legs were giving her such terrible trouble, and I don't know, I guess the stress just made me procrastinate more and more on delving into what ailed the sewing machine.

Yet it would sit there silently reproaching me everytime I went into the back room. It has weighed on my mind - y'all know how much I love to sew, and how I've been wanting to get back to both quilt piecing and doll clothes making. Yet I couldn't get myself to just pick the darn machine up and plop it down somewhere with rags and oil and canned air and screwdriver and see what I could do for it! I think also I was afraid that I'd put in a lot of effort and it still wouldn't work. Because that was what it was like in the summer - I kept trying things and having no luck.

However. Drum roll please...

I opened it up, wiped, dusted, brushed, blew air, wiggled parts, oiled, then threaded it with different colors in the top thread and the bobbin, and got a bunch of scraps and just started sewing. The different colors help so much with seeing what loops are messing up, and how they improve when you get the tension correct - and now it's correct!

The machine may not be in perfect condition - time will tell whether its days are numbered. But who knows. It hadn't acted up until that strange episode this summer, and I know it had been sitting in a dusty place. For now I can do some simple things - small quilt piecing would be ideal for this - before committing to a large project where I wouldn't want it to mess up, and see how it goes. I still actually need to screw the cover back on, which may firm things up more.

And I will acquire a good dust cover for it and keep it on at all times when the machine is not in use! Really dumb of me not to have done this before, but live and learn. Until I get a cover, I'll throw a plastic bag over it.

I'm happy to have the machine back in commission, and I'm happy that I did a thing I had been procrastinating on! :)

And it's now 2:00 and I often have this bad habit of eating lunch too late, so now without further ado, I'm heading out to grab a bite. ¡Yo quiero Taco Bell! ;)

Still wobbly. not caught up on posts. Piano is gone. All things coming here are here. Tomorrow is donation day and I'm taking oriental rug to be cleaned. Saturday some furniture being picked up. Will meet my goal of everything out of mom's by Sunday.

I'm sorry about the wide thread.

I did that trying to show CM something.

Lila, I posted how proud I am of you on the tally thread, but I'll say again here- great job!

I hope things keep getting easier.

Tatoulia, it's great that you have found people who will also love your mom's pieces and think of her fondly.

CM, are you genX or boomer? I'm genX, but Dh is boomer, and our kids are split millennial and Z.

Birdy is doing great. He sucked his thumb today.

His other grandmother has decided she wants to come visit, so we have been politely asked to leave on Saturday. It will be very hard to leave Birdy knowing I won't see him again for months, but I miss Bean too.

I can't think about my house right now.

Oh I am so proud of myself! TotsDad came over and we worked in the garage for 3 hours and filled both trash bins with throwaway items and filled the entire back of my SUV with donations, plus 3 boxes of donations that didn't fit, saved for the next trip! We took over 280 items out of the garage! I lost count and don't want to overcount, so I added 280 items to my count. I know it was at least that many.

I listed a lot of stuff on the Daily Tally thread if you are interested.. and now I am at 952/1000 items gone from my home this year!

We will work on it again tomorrow and I think we will hit my goal of 1000 items gone :)

Also,


why is this thread so wide?


I hope it goes to a new page soon.



Maybe if I make a long post it will be enough to bumo it to a new page???



We'll see!!













.

It's a hard situation when we have other people's stuff to take into consideration too, CM. I still have a lot of ex's hoard downstairs and that is part of what we are trying to deal with, but I can't get rid of much of it.

I am tired today. It is after 2 and TotsDad came over and is replacing a filter on my car. After that he will take the desk out (it is so big he has to take it apart, and it may just be trash at that point). Then if there is time, we will do a bit on the garage.

Well, Lila, my situation's so different from most, because it's not my home. Roommate had a lot of stuff too, before I even moved in. She is also committed to downsizing and decluttering these days, so we can keep encouraging one another. I guess how I'd answer your question is to say what particular "hotspot" bugs me the most right now. There are three main ones:

1. The sofa, where I sit, do computer work on a table beside it, put papers and things that have pending things needing done (ADHD OOSOOM Out of Sight Out of Mind is a huge problem). I tend to "nest" in places like this and I am not a tidy chickie bird.

2. My bedroom floor is a disaster and it's because, well, the rest of the room doesn't offer anyplace to put what has ended up on the floor - this is going to be a big job. But there is that new atop the bookshelf space; I just want to figure out the best use for it, don't want to just mindlessly chuck something up there. I'm in the brainstorming process.

3. The craft area in the back room. There is a table but it is piled and there is stuff on the floor around it. Nuff said. I've actually made some progress but there is more needing to be made.

Tatoulia, that would be great if you want to start the 2024 thread, on New Year's I presume?

SubC, I'm sure Birdy will thrive and it's nice that they have the health equipment delivered to them, so handy these days. One of my cousins became a great grandfather for the 3rd time* I believe - I had gone to the baby shower in October I think it was.

*It's crazy the age spread among us first cousins; I am one of the younger ones - and I feel old with the Gen X children of my Boomer first cousins now becoming grandparents and my first cousins are great grandparents! Also, I miss the parental generation which is almost completely gone, and the grandparents (I only ever knew two of mine anyway).

I am doing okay with the Covid recovery - a couple nights ago was more congested but I think it was like the "last blast" of my immune system clearing out crud.

Decluttered a bag of plastic lids that I'd saved with a crazy idea of using a Dremel tool to cut out soles for doll shoes from them. I get these Really Farfetched Pinterest Fodder Craft Inspirations when I see some YouTube video or blog post that I later realize was probably made by someone with waaay more spare time and dedication than I possess. So I save or buy some odd type of supply, then it sits around forever. At least now I seem to have more energy to recognize which ones are never gonna fly, and what stuff then I can let go of. For now not worrying whether I should recycle it, it's not that big an amount, and if I stop and get paralyzed with indecision that's not going to be helpful, so I just have to bite the bullet and toss it.

Roommate is leaving to visit family tomorrow and returning Monday. I may get some this and that done, although I've learned that it doesn't usually work to fluff out a huge project because about that time it'll be time to feed her cats, exercise her bunnies, etc. on top of my own critters, plus church and meals and possibly laundry, and suddenly it's getting past bedtime somehow. This is not my first rodeo with all this. I have to pace myself.

Finished Harry Potter 5, and started 6, if anyone is interested. I am proud of myself anytime I stick with longer reading these days. That's a sad thing for an English major to admit, but it has happened to a lot of people since the internet shortened our attention spans, and there are people who blog about how they realized they needed to retrain their brains to stick with a book. I'm getting there. And it helps to know it's not just me and that people have been able to improve once they recognize it and make a point of it.

Question: What are the most hoarded rooms in your home? and are any rooms "normal" without hoarding?

I think this would be an interesting topic, so please share!

My most hoarded room is my bedroom. Right now it is terrible. You walk in and there is a whole area about 6' by 10' piled a couple feet high. This is the area between my bed and the closet. If you are a regular here, you remember I cleared this whole area just a couple months ago.

On the other side of the bed there is no floor to be seen between the bed and the window, an area about 10' by 8'. And along the wall is a strip of hoard. There is a walking path to one side of the bed and to the bathroom.

None of it is trash. It is just all STUFF and clean clothes and totes full of kitchen stuff.

I also have a 2-car garage that is packed full of boxes and totes full about 5' tall. And two rooms downstairs with a lot of totes and junk.

But my living room and dining room and kitchen are all functional and clean and 90% decluttered, although the bar/counter and table tend to get stacked up every so often.

So my focus of decluttering today will be the garage, and maybe part of my bedroom, although that feels overwhelming.

Tatoulia, I'm so happy good homes were found for some lovely things of your mom's, so you can feel good about them being enjoyed!

I am having another sad/crying day but trying to get a few things done anyway. TotsDad said he will come this afternoon, so I am trying to be ready to get rid of things. Watch the Daily Tally for lots of things gone, I hope!

I'll do the honors of making our 2024 thread unless someone else wants to!

Sorry about your sad morning, dear Lila.

I'm glad birdie's lights arrived. He'll do much better with them. Cm I'm glad you got to see your friend, even if it was awkward due to covid fears. It's what we can do.

I went to mom's tonight. Two of the residents took some jewelry and China pieces. Nice stuff. Then they came back and asked for more, which I was really pleased about. They were worried I'd be mad or upset, but one woman wanted mom's lovely tea pot and creamer and sugar bowl. That made me very happy as I grew up with them and they are beautiful but they are not for me.

A friend met me and just sat there as moral support. The piano movers come tomorrow.

Love you all. I'm wobbly but trying to keep it together.

Lights delivered to the house! Wow, that IS an improvement over even 18 years ago. Congrats on little Birdy. What does Bean think?

CM, I did not know about that. I think reporting after the fact is just fine! Or if a challenge stresses you out, just do things your own way. You have my support.

I had a very sad and difficult morning, then came home and made soup with Teen which was nice, and tasty. Then TotsDad was coming around 1:30 so I got ready and waited. Three hours later almost, he still could not make it, so I have sat here waiting all that time when I should have gone ahead and started. I guess I just feel really down today. Tears are leaking out. He will come tomorrow instead. I hope all my motivation did not go. It feels gone.

A new 2024 thread will be good.

I think someone else may need to start the 2024 daily chat thread - we are probably driving home New Year's Day.

I am always up for challenges but often don't stick with them for long or see them through.

I think I am going to call this new little one Birdy (probably get shortened to bird later) because he is such a tiny little thing and because he was an early bird,

So far Birdy is doing well. They did put him on bilirubin lights today, which is a bit of added awkwardness and difficulty, but hopefully it won't be for long. His momma is a bit stressed by it, but I am just impressed that the lights were delivered to the house and are so much easier to use than 25 years ago.

He is eating well.

I've wondered if SubC plans to make a new iteration of this thread dated 2024.

Haven't found myself using the Daily Tally thread as much lately but that's because I've been in a lull or else I simply forget. I'll probably use it again some. Lila, I don't know if you know that I get weird about challenges and timed goals. Even though I know there's nothing bad going to happen if I say I will then it doesn't get done. I suppose I just remember past unmet deadlines in my life and get kind of bummed, so it feels like a "failure" so I don't make promises. Just my particular idiosyncrasy, that, but I am happy to report accomplishments after I make them, lol! Which may have been included in your list of suggestions anyway.

I got to see a friend whom I haven't seen in years since she moved to the PNW. Unfortunately due to my ambiguous Covid status she did not feel comfortable with getting together indoors anywhere but she did hand my package through the pet flap and I stood inside the porch and she stood outside and we visited a bit and did air hugs. She will get to come here again in the spring, so that's something to look forward to.

What would you all think about doing a challenge for 2024?

I was thinking we could use the Daily Tally thread if you like the idea of counting/adding up to a goal. You could use it in various ways, whatever you want to count to a goal for the year:

- items decluttered
- square feet cleared
- days when something was decluttered
- minutes spent intentionally improving your space
- things recycled

or any other thing that is important to you or makes you feel like something was accomplished. What do you think? What goals do you have for the coming year?

If you don't want to use the Daily Tally thread, someone could make a new 2024 goals thread or something. I just think it would be nice to have goals to work on and cheer each other on!

I am trying to hit 1000 items gone by February 1, which is one year from the time I set my goal of 1000 items gone in a year. TotsDad is coming over tomorrow and we are going to work on the garage! He has a truck to take things to the dump if needed, and we can load boxes into my suv with the seats down to donate. I saved all the boxes from Christmas so we can fill them with donations.

Merry Christmas friends!

SubC, BIG CONGRATULATIONS on the new Beanlet! So happy for you. Grandkids are so wonderful as you know. Hi CM and Tatoulia, I hope today brings peace for all.

Totsfam all came for Christmas Day and so did Son2 who you all don't hear about often but he lives in town with his girlfriend. He brought her over and it was very nice. We had breakfast, opened presents, made cookies. Then they all went home for naps and chill time and came back at dinner. It was lovely and I am so thankful most of my kids live nearby so they can easily do this.

I am hoping and imagining that next Christmas I will be in my new home with a big family room and dining room and kitchen so all of us can come and sit around one big table together! And if TotsDad wants us to go there for breakfast so they don't have to pack up the kids, we could do that and then have a big dinner at my place. This year I told him I support them doing things their way so if they wanted to stay home in the morning it was fine. They did come over anyway.

This morning I:
- took everything off the tree so it's ready to take out tomorrow
- packed up all the Christmas decorations
- swept up pine needles
- started unloading the dishwasher

Today is a relax and be home day. In between coffee and quiet time, I'll be cleaning up the kitchen and doing laundry and stuff.

What are the rests of you doing today?

Good afternoon.

Tatoulia, good luck with the coins.

CM, I'm glad you got to Mass.

I am enjoying the new family and doing dishes and laundry. Dh is the cook.

What a lovely Christmas, CM, and I'm glad your energy is returning!

I am determined to go downtown today and turn in BF's coins. He left me a big bag of coins and I'm sick of looking at them. In truth, I'm sick of not looking at them because I don't even see them anymore. You know what I mean more than anyone in the world!

Only my downtown branch has the coin sorter.

So let's see if I actually do this or not.

I'm not late, it's still the 12 Days of Christmas! ;) Merry Christmas!

Congratulations SubC on the new grandbaby and I hope you have a very enjoyable visit with him and your kids.

Lila, you sound really pumped, that's great. Send me some of that energy and determination. I'm feeling some already, thinking of the new year, but extra never hurts.

Tatoulia, I imagine it was a lot to contemplate, so different from previous years for you. Good idea to spend some time with friends. How are the two kitties adjusting at home?

I did get to my two Masses over the weekend, and they were lovely. Saturday at 4:00 at the little parish that's been around since 1887; since it is smaller I didn't want to be crowded into a pew too close to people even with my mask. So I sat in a chair at the back, near where the ushers hang out and there is more ventilation by the doors.

Then Sunday for Christmas Eve at my own parish. Roommate came with me. We sat in a back pew and that worked fine. I was able to keep distance and there was less drift of incense to bother her allergies.

The last three days or so I've felt my energy returning. I did take a nap yesterday afternoon just for added recuperation benefit, and it was enjoyable. The weather here has been in a grey, cloudy, and colder trend, so hibernating indoors feels good. A dusting of snow on the cars this morning.

I'll be eager to shake off the last vestiges of sickness and rejoin the world soon.

Merry Christmas, all, and congratulations on the new baby, SubC!

I made it through! Did gingerbread houses with my friend's kids, then dinner, and then I went to church. Lovely. Then today I went to co-workers house and I brought a jigsaw puzzle and with five of us, we were able to finish it! I took the train there and he drove me home.

I was a little sad but pulled it together.

Good morning!
Merry Christmas!

I slept hard last night, but not long enough. Mr. Kitty is sitting with me on the couch while I drink some coffee and struggle to wake up. He's happy that he got to sleep inside last night, but he goes back out today.

I need to do chores before we leave. Dh told me just to let the farm sitter do them, but it's Christmas, and she has 5 kids! I'm grateful that she was willing to take the job, but I called her yesterday and told her to enjoy Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and come back tonight.

We got to FaceTime with dgs2 last night. The hospital gave him a special Christmas hat. This morning they will check him out and if all is well, we will hit the road to meet him.

(He has been struggling with his blood sugar a little due to being early, but he is getting a glucose supplement and doing well.)

Our other gifts from his family were already here, so we opened them last night while we FaceTimed. Dh got a cutting board and I got a framed print of goats at a fence. They are very funny.

Other ins from Dh family - t-shirt, earrings, and really badly made piece of pottery in traditional style that was basically a tourist souvenir from mil's trip. She explained in detail how it was made and how impressive that was as if she was instructing me. I am trying to have my takeaway be that she thought of me and tried to take an interest in something she knows is important to me. mom gave me food, stationary, and a new kitchen spatula in my stocking. Plus Christmas themed cheese (or vegan spread) knives, an ornament, a puzzle, and two scented candles in mugs. The puzzle is intended for me to do with ddil, it's a tradition, so that and the mugs and the scented candle from my student are all going with us today. Ddil likes scented candles.

Gotta move if I'm going to get on the road!

Breakfast was one cinnamon roll. I had two more meals of raw fruits and vegetables every form of bread had cheese or sour cream in it. I took literally half the salad meant for 13 people last night and it did not fill my dinner plate. I did not feel bad.

Then we drove to mom and dads where I was given bread and almond milk and cookies. Unfortunately I had to tell them we were leaving this morning b3cause on the way there ds called to tell us the baby was coming. So I missed all but a few hours with my parents.

Gs#2 arrived healthy this morning 3.5 weeks early.

We are back at our house to sleep (coming home instead of going straight there added only two hours to the two day trip) change out what is in our suitcases (colder, no church), and unload Christmas gifts.

In the morning ds takes his family home from the hospital, and we should be there late afternoon.

Merry Christmas Eve, friends!

I am working today (volunteer) but it will be a joyful time, seeing many people I care about. Tomorrow is our big family gathering at my house. I am very unprepared and will be gone most of today, but will make it work and enjoy what I have! Exciting to have littles who are old enough to be excited about Christmas.

I am in a mood of "nothing matters anyway," which is a great mood to get rid of things in. I hope it hangs on long enough for me to purge the week after christmas. TotsDad is coming over to help me purge the garage. It should be a wild ride so come along and see how my Daily Tally flies up! I had a goal of 1000 things gone from my home in one year (not including trash), and if I remember right I am close to 700, and I have until February. I can do it!

SubC, I too have gone to things where people knew I am vegetarian but I have nothing to eat but salad (which is better than when they put bacon IN the salad and I have nothing). I have more flexibility than you do, since I do eat some dairy and eggs and fish. Lacto ovo pescatarian, but no one these days knows those words, so I just go with vegetarian. I went to a party where they made a delicious looking breakfast casserole but had meat in it so I just had grapes and a cinnamon roll. Which is okay, but made me crave breakfast casserole, so I am making a vegetarian one for Christmas morning.

Heading off to work. I hope you all will cheer me on and get excited as I post things in the Tally. If you have never looked at it, I think it is inspiring! I post all the things I donate or get rid of that are not actual trash, and it is amazing to go back and read little this and that and realize ALL of that was in my home, and now almost 1000 items gone!

See you later - Merry Christmas all!

SubC, I think the link was why my screen was super wide, lol! But I am familiar with Oriental Trading Company, anyway. And I see the bins; they are pretty. Target here and sometimes Walmart has sold some like that during school supply season.

I didn't get through every last brochure yesterday (or was it Thursday?), ran out of steam, but there aren't many left to do. It's going to go well, I can feel it.

Sorry about the food woes - as a picky eater I am quite familiar with them, in a different way. It does pay to bring one's own stash.

Lila and Tatoulia, I hope it will be a lowkey but nice holiday for the both of you - the timing after such big life events I understand is not the best, but just keep things simple and find the little things to appreciate - Poco a Poco, you knew I would have to say it but it's true...

I'm getting back into civilization just in time for the Mass this afternoon and then one tomorrow and that'll be it for me I think. There were actually some years when I would go to both the Christmas Eve and the Christmas Day, because they have different Bible readings so it's not just a repeat, etc. I can always watch the Pope's livestream or another one, maybe my local Bishop, or EWTN. The main thing is, it will be Christmas, time to feel renewed hope.

Good morning.

Lila, any plan that moves things is a good plan. But I definitely think starting with easier stuff will help you get moving. Have fun with tot.

CM, excellent job on the dresses!

bag up all the vintage fabric and donate it. Somebody who loved those colors will buy it. Maybe they will make a beautiful retro quilt. I wish I could come help you organize the art supplies. I love stuff like that. Can you use thatnowemptymagazineholder for some of them?

I have these:

https://www.orientaltrading.com/solid-color-book-bins-6-pc--a2-13752727.fltr?sku=13752727&BP=PS544&ms=search&source=google&cm_mmc=GooglePLA-_-17376747105-_-136513371599-_-13752727&cm_mmca1=OTC%2BPLAs&cm_mmca2=GooglePLAs&gad_source=4&gclid=CjwKCAiAp5qsBhAPEiwAP0qeJoVQADFpJ35zj1ta2C74I1x4RT7FFOMEjt1mdpZjGvc3PE6qIcbBPhoCaJIQAvD_BwE

Sorry that link is so long, wish we could post pics. For my glaze jars. I do sort them by color.

Hi Tatoulia!

I am at mil's house. Last night I had broccoli for dinner because she forgot that I am a vegetarian and can't have milk. She's 80. I don't expect her to keep track of my diet. I do wish I could have just quietly eaten my broccoli in peace, but there are so many food issues in this family that my plate needed to be observed, commented on, explained and discussed. So I ended up feeling bad about the whole thing. Which is so wrong. I'm the person who got just broccoli for dinner (which honestly, I'm overweight and I've been eating too many goodies, so one meal of broccoli - which I really like, was probably good for me!) why am I the person who feels bad about that?!

Anyway, I've been awake since 5 and I'm hiding in the en-suite bathroom until my Dh wakes up. But I'm starting to be hungry. I'm hoping that breakfast will not be some sort of casserole with bacon and cheese. Or that if it is, there will at least also be toast. I won't starve. I brought a pound of almonds and a jar of dried green beans and two apples to snack on in the car yesterday and I still have most of that left. I just don't want to do the in depth interrogation about my plate again.

Dh aunt whom I adore is arriving at 11:30. Tonight we go to my parents' house.

Hello friends, and so nice to read so many posts... the hard things and the good things. We are all in it together. What a busy time of year.

I had a very nice time with Tots family and they are probably coming over tomorrow, too, unless Tot is sick. I worked all week and now have 2 days off, work all day Christmas Eve and then off most of the week, FINALLY. I love my job, but I need the time off. Teen is home, and it is 80% going pretty well. No major problems at this point. I hope things will be better now. New medication, so possibly will be better.

I have to get the downstairs ready for Tots Family to move in. I went into one room, got a box out, Teen even went in to help me. I spent about 5 minutes looking at things and slightly sorting and got overwhelmed and walked out.

I went in the garage and was looking for empty plastic bins so I could just simply start "packing" as if I were moving now... but packing things to go to my new home in a year or so. I found no accessible empty totes, but saw many half filled with all kinds of 'stuff' I have saved for years. Then thought, what I really need to do it get rid of things in the garage. Donate like half of what's in there. Then use the empty bins to pack. And put those in the garage, labelled for the move. I asked TotsDad to bring boxes tomorrow and we can sort the garage. That way I won't be wondering with every item, "would TotsDad want this??"

What do you think? Good plan?

Awwww, thanks for the empathetic understanding of quirks, both of you! It does take some of the sting of embarrassment out. I am clinging to hope that things are going to improve with my driving and similar areas of discomfort. And I'm also trying to remind myself that there are other times when it actually goes well. Even working on capturing the muscle memory from those times, like how I'm sitting, how I'm breathing, how I'm looking around at the environment when I'm NOT feeling panicky - just anything positive that I can try and replicate in other settings.

I do make some connections between panic and some neuroatypical traits that have always been a part of my makeup but which for so many years were not recognized as such, or if noticed at all were stigmatized (by me as well as by others). Back in the 60s through however long, it was still very much about keeping a stiff upper lip, trying to pass for normal. And maybe in some ways that had its good points, insofar as giving hope that things would start to click at some mythical future date. Although it grew increasingly puzzling and frustrating when that day never came.

And now here I am asking lots of questions, yet trying not to get too wound up or confused about it either. Sometimes I have to just step away from the internet rabbit hole of reading too much and clear my head, or it can get depressing in a different way, because I can start feeling regrets about whether having some of the information back in the day would've prevented my making certain mistakes, overspending, hoarding, and more. We don't get do overs. Just gotta go forward.

And in that spirit, I have been doing some decluttering of art related things. SubC, I'm sure you can relate, and I would enjoy hearing any tips you have discovered about organizing supplies and instructional media. I know with pottery it's more 3D, and larger pieces and clay storage, more challenging than most of what I deal with. Sewing fabric is my main bulk thing. Paints, pens, paper and canvases are less bulky as long as I don't do large works. However, given the space limitations of my living situation, it's still quite tricky. And I have the storage unit, so I can't deny that there is still a fair amount of bulk, lol. It might be lighter than clay and pots, but it's still cubic feet.

This morning I am going through some brochures and stuff that I collected, information sheets about things like the different types of paintbrushes and how they are used, polymer clay techniques, just all sorts of artsy reading. I can find anything like that online easily enough now, so no need to keep printed matter. This was an easy thing I'd been eying, a magazine holder full. I'm trying these days to spot these sorts of mini decluttering projects that yield a quick and decisive win, and as each one gets gone it's likely to reveal another behind it to tackle next.

I'd mentioned that my roommate let me get that top of the bookcase free of Christmas items - covid delayed my vacuuming of it, and right now I'm still sneezing so I will wait but in a few days I'll have that done. That part of the room has held art supplies and I would like to get markers, colored pencils, and crayons that are in semi disarray elsewhere integrated with the main art supply section (which is actually one of the better organized areas, though I need to get other stuff away that has blocked access in front of it). I'd like to figure out bins or drawers for the pencils, pens, etc. instead of the zillion little boxes they came in. If I had an actual studio, I'd sort the entire lot by color, mixing the brands and types together, instead of keeping them in their packaged sets. But I don't have that kind of room to spread out. Again, SubC, any artistic organizing suggestions are welcome.

Yesterday I did get to those doll clothes that I'd mentioned wanting to rip out. Ended up going in a different direction with it. The dresses I'd cut out and partially stitched some time ago, were of fabrics that I realized I was trying to "rescue." I've had this tendency ever since I've done any kind of craft, to prove that somehow I can spin straw into gold. No fabric left behind. Even if it's ugly, or the texture is wrong, find some way to make it work and look attractive.

Well, that's a trap. Some materials just don't work very well, and likely never will. And I don't have time to devote to trying to force them to, which chances are won't succeed anyway. All I'll have to show for my efforts will be a mediocre finished product that probably no one will want. And working with inferior materials makes me uninspired, and I'll likely be dragging my heels and losing even more time, and doubting my creative vision. Not a pretty picture.

So. The decision I made not to proceed further on those items was one decision. It was followed immediately by a second: What, then, to do with several partially finished doll dresses and the lace I was going to put on them?

The answer: Donate the stuff anyway. Who cares if they aren't hemmed or whatever. If some grandma wants to finish them for her granddaughter and the granddaughter doesn't mind that they are blah looking and is just happy to have something new for her dolly, wonderful. And if... try not to think about it... nobody wants the stuff, then it goes in the bin ultimately, but at least I won't have to be the one to grit my teeth and drop it in there, with the Sunk Cost Fallacy Demons yammering in my head.

So, it's bagged up and ready to depart the premises. Bonus: As I was going through it all, I was pondering and thinking about how I should pull out similar stuff from storage - I've collected fabric and trims for so many years that, like these I bagged, there's a lot of it that is just... dated. Dusty rose, peach, Wedgewood blue, seafoam green, forest green - all those 90s colors. Gathered nylon lace like you'd see on thrift store crafted items like puffy wreaths or stuffed muslin geese - maybe by the year 2050 all that will suddenly be considered vintage and back in style. But I'm so over the 90s; I want to move on NOW. So, I'm going to go on a raid as soon as I have a nice day, go to my storage, and pull out any more of that I can find. And anything else that doesn't spark joy!

Roommate just took her covid test and it was negative, yay! I still have a few minor symptoms that are just like what you get at the end of an ordinary cold. Hoping to wrap up this sickness schtick asap and get back to civilization.

Cm I get it in the complications. I have those moments sometimes. I know it is harder for you and there's more to consider but I do want you to be nice to yourself.

I have the garbage out and both cat boxes cleaned. My house is a mess.

I got the thank you cards and tips written out to everyone at moms except the two maintenance guys because I ran out of money. I'll get a few more twenties tomorrow. I don't know how much to tip people. Most got 20 or 40. One got 1000 and one got 60. Just trying to remember who to thank is a lot of work.

So I don't know where I left off but someone at work invited me to Christmas Day and it just felt right. So I'm going! I had so many invitations that I turned down in favor of being alone and then a man at work sent me a text saying his wife is a really good cook and that he and their daughters would be playing games and doing jigsaw puzzles. I'm in!

Emiko and her boyfriend are taking me for dinner tomorrow night. So much going on here. Will be glad to have Saturday to myself. I still cannot believe that I don't need to visit mom each night. I still worry about what to do for her. What does she need what would she enjoy.

CM,

Complicated, but it shouldn't be embarrassing. Frustrating maybe. I don't step on cracks in sidewalks. It gives me a funny gait. It's not a superstition, it just feels *wrong* like if I asked a neurotypical person to walk down the street with one foot on the sidewalk and one foot on someone's lawn. They could do it fine,, but the whole time they would probably be fighting the natural urge to move fully onto or off of the sidewalk. And if they got Distracted they would probably move.

Anyway, I hope it gets easier, and I hope you can work it out.

I've done all the things I can do to get ready to leave and a few extras that will make life easier when I get back, so I am going to bed.

Goodnight all, (and happy new year ;) )

I didn't know that about the technicalities of solstice, SubC, but I'm just happy to know the days will be getting longer. Perhaps imperceptibly at the very beginning, but there will come that day when it is obvious.

It's cloudy here this week anyway, so may not be able to tell when the sun sets. The mornings sure have been dark later too, clouds or no.

Feeling more energetic, and I think covid may be on the wane. Colored my hair just a bit ago for a mood boost.

Having Sunday and Christmas Mass be joyful is definitely my goal! ;) There's a little added, how shall I say, calculation involved also because in the last few years I've had more of those quirky annoying agoraphobic challenges with driving. One anxiety trigger is driving very far from home (and for me, "far" can even mean >2 miles) at times when the streets are more lonely with businesses closed up early during holiday times. When they are open I can pull into a place where people are and distract myself if need be.

I'd prefer to go to church and return when it's still a little light out. Hoping I can coordinate that. My parish is closer but the times are later.
I realize how complicated and embarrassing it all sounds. I've been working this year to become more confident again driving, but there have been setbacks, especially in times of stress. Exercising has been helpful, and I'm sure it will continue to be going forward into the new year. The covid glitch has added a complication (including keeping me from exercising much), but maybe that disruption will be past, if the test comes out okay or even just being asymptomatic but probably will have to mask, darn it.

Trying to chill and relax and believe I can meet the challenges and if tricky moments arise find a way through.

Tatoulia, you've gotten a lot done in a short time it seems. Glad you had some helpers.

Lila, stay strong, I think you are doing well with the decluttering; you seem able to plunge in and accomplish things, as long as life gives you a chance, which I totally understand sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. But in the big picture I think you'll do all right.

Happy solstice!

The new year doesn't actually start until 10:38 EST, which feels like tomorrow to me, and tonight will be the longest darkness, but the light is coming.

CM, I hope you find opportunities to go to Mass that lift up your heart and don't just check a box. I'm sure Christmas has been on Mondays before. I'm going to Christmas Eve service with my mom at her church.(it's the one I was raised in). She asked me if I thought we needed to go to Sunday morning service as well and I told her I didn't think so. I'm not sure why she asked me. It has been some time since I was in a church. I think god - whatever name you choose, is like a light in a box full of holes. Your religion depends on the shape of the hole the light comes out of when you look at the box. For me, it's enough that there is light. I don't mean to say anything against anyone else's beliefs.

Tatoulia, you did a phenomenal job. Don't be surprised if things crash down on you now that that is finished. Be gentle with yourself.

I brought a bunch of pots home from the studio yesterday. 5 cups, four bowls, three tumblers (I feel like I made a Christmas song) a plate and a lidded container.

Also from teacher gifts - a candle and a little plastic trash can full of candy.(and some gift cards)

And I went to my offsite craft storage shop to buy chalk for Bean's stocking. I got the chalk, and a piece of lace, three paint brushes, and a random piece of plastic that was in the quilt section and will make great wall patterns on clay. I'm not sure what it actually is.

My stuff count is creeping up again.

A strange thing happened at the studio. The owner got a call from his teenager that the teenager was stranded with a car that wouldn't start.

The shop was closing in ten minutes and the retail staff would go home, and because we are between class sessions, there was no teaching staff in the building. (And only a handful of other people). The owner asked me if I would be in charge while he went to help his kid.

Being in charge didn't actually mean anything since nobody answers the phone after retail closes, no deliveries arrived, and fortunately there was no emergency, but the retail staff did come over to let me know they had locked up the shop and were leaving. But I felt really good that he trusted me in case there was an emergency.

Lila, I am thinking about you and hoping you have more light than darkness.

I think I may be starting to turn the corner. I've rested a lot. Symptoms have not been really pronounced, yet I've felt like resting. Would be nice if energy returns more by tomorrow.

Tatoulia, that's amazing that you've avoided covid so long - best wishes for continued success with that!

Tomorrow is the solstice, woo-hoo! Longer days.

I am hoping and praying that I'll be more than ready and able to get to church this weekend. We have an interesting scenario that I don't recall happening before or at least I don't remember. For some odd reason, the 4th Sunday of Advent is also Christmas Eve. I thought that wasn't possible but I guess I was wrong. And then Christmas is on Monday. So anyhow, Catholics are obligated to attend two Masses, one for Sunday and one for Christmas, but since we have the option of vigils (going the evening before, for example Saturday night for Sunday) there are several options for how to do this over those three days. And I'm strategizing which parishes' times may work better for me, my own or a different nearby one.

The covid situation has to be factored in too, insofar as whether I'm okay to go, where to sit, masking, etc. It may become clearer in a day or two; I probably have some brain fog right now so should sleep on it and decide later.

We finished mom's place. Everything is ready to go. We got rid of so much. Very tough emotionally but it's done. Her BF will bring the truck to store my sister's stuff that I'll bring to her in the Spring.

Good morning!

CM, I'm sorry you are sick. I hope it is a minor inconvenience. A chance to rest and turn inward and focus on what is really important this season is not a bad thing, but I am sorry you are missing your community observances. You should be ok by Christmas Eve though, yes?

I am getting my Covid and flu shots tomorrow afternoon. I decided that the best time to feel yucky is when I am getting up early and driving all day. Dh is afraid I will feel too bad to drive, but I don't remember feeling particularly bad last time. I drive with a migraine regularly. I'll just take ibuprofen. It will also give me a good excuse to go to bed early at his parent's house, since they always stay up way too late.

Tatoulia, I am glad you are not sick. That sounds like a fun Christmas Day and I am glad you have something to do with other people.

Lila, I am thinking of you. I don't know exactly what you are up to, but I know you have a lot of stressors right now. Feed yourself healthy food and try to get some rest.

Since I am actually ready to leave for school an hour and a half early(!) I am going to straighten up some more before I go.

Happy yule and thank you to all of you for the gifts you bring into the world.

SubC, I did not know that about the first night of Yule and am so honored you'll be including me and my mother. I am well. I have an annual physical every year and see the doctor periodically otherwise. I did not get my blood work done so I'll have to stop in for that some day next week. I also need my mammogram. I like seeing the doctor. I always feel better after seeing her

Cm! I am so sorry that you have covid! That is no fun! I still haven't had covid. I know it could happen any moment. I still wear masks everywhere and at this point would feel funny without one.

Lila I am thinking of you.

I have turned down every Christmas Day dinner offer and guess what? I was just invited by someone at work and I think I'll be going. He said his wife is an excellent cook and that they'll be playing games and working on puzzles with the high school and college-aged kids. So appealing to me.

Well, I do have covid but it's mild. Barely visible on the test, but it was there. Roommate seems okay. I was the one sitting directly across from the person who had it. Next year I sure hope to break this "tradition" even if I have to become a hermit for two or three weeks prior to Christmas! Dare we hope the virus will be a nothing burger in the world by then? Who knows.

So I haven't done much today except rest and have my prayer time and listen to instrumental Christmas relaxing music on YouTube and read Harry Potter (in the middle of book 5 now). Tomorrow I might rip seams in a few doll clothes and sort the fabric pieces - it is partly fabric I decided I don't like so that will get donated.

Might read a book about Gimp digital photo software because I was going to have a tutorial yesterday at the library. Glad I called to postpone; the cool guy who teaches and helps with tech I sure would not want to give covid to, or anyone else. It can wait until after New Year's probably. Things will be more relaxed then anyway.

So far I still have my sense of smell. Now and then I sniff something to check. Mostly this is just a minor annoyance.

I miss my mom at the holidays too, and my dad; there are memories of things we used to enjoy, childhood Christmases, etc. Those can make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. And the meaning of Christmas, the Bible account, getting closer to God during Advent - sometimes I get a bit frustrated because anymore it seems harder to find the peace and calm I used to have in the season. But I suppose it is still there, if one looks a little deeper.

Good evening.

Tatoulia, I don't know what the doctor appointment was about, but i hope you are ok.

I hope you are able to finish the apartment tomorrow.

Forgive me if I am making a mistake sharing this, but tomorrow is the first night of Yule, which is traditionally a time for honoring mothers - our own, those who have gone before us, and all the women in our lives who nurture and care for us and for others. (Also for baking) so it seems good to me that you will be doing this task with Emiko, who has always sounded like a nurturing presence in your life. I hope that will bring you comfort. I'll be thinking of you, and of your mom when I light candles tomorrow.

You guys aren't going to believe this, but here is what I absolutely need to do before I leave for school tomorrow: sleep, chores, dress, and brush my teeth. My lesson plans are ready, the work is graded, I showered this evening, my car is loaded, and I have a gift card to get breakfast from Starbucks in my console. My great room is nearly clean, my laundry is put away, and there is a fire in the woodstove.

I did not finish everything I thought I might do today, but the things I didn't do are not urgent and not very important. It's a strange feeling.

Hello! Long day here. Had dr appt at 335 but didn't get seen til after five. I needed the appt so not really in a position to complain.

Taking tmr off to work on mom's. Friend Emiko is coming. Goal is to finish it.

Cm I'm so sorry about the health ups and downs. Very very stressful.

Will write more later. I'm a bit shakey.

I am glad to see both of you !

CM,I'm sorry you had a medical scare, but glad it turned out ok.

I'm excited about that new shelf space for you! It would be lovely if you could have only things that are yours in your room.

Your teaching style sounds great.

Lila, I hope you had fun with tot's family. If you don't feel social, don't be social. It's ok. You do what helps you.

I had a good day with bean today. He was tired from last night and very cuddly. We read a lot of books.

I realized I have to go back to the feed store tomorrow because I forgot rabbit food. That's the only thing I have to leave the house for though. I'm going to try to get my act more together in the house. I might even pack for our trip.

I am here, sort of... and reading posts but not finished yet. Nice to see you back Tatoulia and CM. I am sorry for the hard things.

I have had a hard time being social as well and avoiding gatherings. Even family stuff. I finally invited Tot's family for dinner tonight. I wanted to see them before but they were sick. So now I need to find something to cook.

I am having a hard time getting anything done. I will ask Son when he comes tonight to move a few large items for me in preparation for them leaving. I do not know how I am going to manage things in the coming year. I feel overwhelmed. I am still on the wait list for a counselor and they think it will be in 3-4 weeks.

I will go take my vitamins.

I'm back

Glad to be back

Things got weird in mid-November, but now they are okay. I had a medical scare, and one test that caused me great anxiety both in the procedure itself and concern re possible outcomes. But now I just got the call from my doctor this morning and all is well.

Roommate and I are on Covid watch, though, because the other friend we had breakfast with on Saturday texted me later that she'd tested positive. I will be more diligent in future re asking people who say they have a cold, whether they are sure it's not Covid (hard to figure out sometimes how to do this tactfully). We are not having any symptoms, and if we test negative on Friday we'll be home free. I sure hope we don't have another Very Merry Covid Christmas™ as we did last year.

The bombshell medical thing, plus some bad weather here, kind of blew up my November NaNoWriMo that had been going well, but I hope to get back to writing. Did a poem this morning. I've also been doing a bit of decluttering here and there - again feeling like I'm starting to shake up the petrified piles and find things I'd forgotten about (and in many cases can get rid of). Roommate has been decluttering too. I took a bunch of stuff, mostly hers, to the thrift shop a couple weeks ago. Including a boxed Christmas tree and other items that had been atop the shelving in my bedroom ever since I moved in here. So now I'll be able to use that for my own stuff. Need to vacuum dust off it first.

During the time I was trying to keep my mind off scary possibilities and focus in the present, our bunny organization had a Christmas party fundraiser. There were hitches and glitches but in the end it came together and was a big success. I led the kids' ornament painting activity, if you can call it leading since my "teaching" style is pretty low-key because my shyness and desire not to come across as too bossy kick in, so I just go "You can do this, or you can do that, whatever suits your fancy, here's some paint..." Lol! But they all had fun. I made a few notes on the setup, what worked and what might make it even better, because I have an idea for a similar project if we have the March event like we did this year.

I've been to my storage unit a time or two, mainly to fetch Advent and Christmas books/decorations. When I look around, I am starting to see that although it is in one sense a mess, mainly it's just because of the need to set up those sturdier shelves; things piled on the floor were from the old rickety shelves that got removed. I mean, there is plenty of work to do, don't get me wrong, but I don't feel the abject horror I once did just looking at it all. And I'm getting more of a sense of a plan of attack, and of how it will diminish as I go, i.e., not all the stuff will remain anyway. I have a big idea that I'm contemplating - don't worry, it's not to have two storage units, but it is a possible shift of location, and that's all I'm going to say for now.

Motivation and steady commmitment will be key moving forward into the spring, and those are always the toughest thing. Poco a Poco and having my cousin in town now - she was very encouraging and nonjudgmental - those things seem to have made me more optimistic.

The daily routines of life need tweaking - I know I spend more time in "waiting mode" and drifting because of living in a roommate situation rather than by myself, where I would have an entirely different rhythm of life. Although I am not kidding myself that I would never have to deal with the ADHD and such. I'm thinking of a New Year's resolution - I don't make many, but if I find one I really want to do, I will. There are two that are coming to me - read the Bible daily, and really cut back on social media usage of the type that I am getting bored with that just wastes time and energy, and sometimes gets me fixated on things that are just mentally chasing my tail. I know what those things are, and I can make a quick list, and then only use social spaces for more productive things - for example, the writers' group locally, etc.

I did start going to a faith sharing Advent group at my church, though circumstances caused me to miss all but two sessions, and I'll miss tomorrow's because of the Covid thing. I'm so glad, though, that it occurred to me to mention to the facilitator how much I was enjoying the group and to suggest that we carry on into the new year with other materials. She is going to! My parish hasn't had anything for so long, so this is a real blessing, and I've met some great people already.

And I want to get more involved with a local writing group, and keep up the exercising and go to the senior center now and then. My roommate and I are both introverts but we are resolving to do some socializing, in our own way, because we have probably been too much hermits for some years.

So anyway. I have been keeping up with your posts even while I was in radio silence, and I know you have all had a lot going on. I'll probably respond to some more but I just wanted to say I was back and where I'm at in the current moment. I probably got a little long winded, what else is new, but it's good to be back. :)

Good morning.

Tatoulia, it's good to see you. A piano?! This is a larger place than I envisioned. I'm glad you have so many friends to help you out.

I'm sorry about your Christmas party experience. It was brave of you to try. Your decorations sound nice.

We were drinking out of the mugs, so my only choices were bring them home and wash and donate/recycle or trash, and you know me . it was bad enough that my dinner was all on disposable plastic plates. I stuck my fork in my pocket and that will get recycled too.

I enjoyed our caroling evening with friends last night. Our two families have been friends for 27 years. I did get surprisingly teary when we sang "I'll be home for Christmas." I've always celebrated Christmas with all of my kids, even if it wasn't on the day. This year I will only have Bean's family.

I took fudge in two decorative holiday tins and left the tins at my friends' house. They did gift us two half pints of homemade jam, and I will save the jars, although I take them jars from time to time if my closet fills up, and may return these.

I got the laundry washed and dried but not put away. Dishes are mostly caught up, even with the fudge making. I have checked about half the projects, so the rest will be tomorrow. I need to clear the checking station out of my living room this morning because today is Bean's day. I also need to get the feed out of my car and put his car seat back, so I better get moving!

Ps thank you for the support on returning mom's Christmas clothes. I did get them returned. Afterward I wandered around Macy's and I was still looking at things for mom. This will take a while to figure it out. I still knock on her door before entering.

Hi everyone! Lila, I'm glad you were able to get some paperwork signed and mailed. SubC, at events where we get a souvenir such as a mug or a yeti water bottle, I leave it at the event. I've had people run after me to say I forgot my XYZ and depending on the circumstance, I either say it was on purpose or I say that it's someone else's, I have mine. Since I go everywhere by walking or subway and rarely via a car, I need to hold steady with my rule that the thing isn't coming into my house.

I don't know when I've last written. I tried to go to my company Christmas party and I took one step in and burst into tears. I was able to get on the escalator and leave the venue before it was noticeable. I tried.

This weekend a friend came to help me at mom's. All cds have been donated together with other stuff. She cleared out my mother's dresser drawers and took care of things I couldn't. For example, my mother had her baby shoes and her brother's baby shoes and the shoes belonging to us kids. They aren't meaningful to me. So my friend took care of them. She did all the hard emotional work without involving me. I took mom's books down to the common area library. We got the front closet cleaned out. A lot of garbage out. A lot of recycling. Magazines, etc. then we wentfor a late lunch at my favorite place.

I was able to donate the vases and baskets that the 11 flower bunches came in I still have two flower arrangements that are nice.

I haven't decorated here at my house except for the ceramic (handmade) Christmas tree that was my grandparents. I thought all these years, including as a kid, that my sister wanted it but she wanted me to have it. It is very pretty. I did decorate the common area hallway. One person sent me a lovely, lovely Christmas arrangement and I had it in the lobby and I put a big wreath on my door. I also have wreaths on my front windows and "candles " in the windows. Inside I also have a very small paper Christmas tree. That's what I can do this year. Since the Christmas arrangement is starting to droop, I know what I'll do out in the lobby in its stead and I'll probably change my door wreath to something smaller.

Today I was on my own. I got more garbage and recycling out. Honestly I do not see the improvement that other people are seeing.

I'm trying to find a place to donate her piano. Her doctor's office came and picked up her art work to hang as well as some other things for the senior center. I need to finish this. It is hanging ove4 my head b

Good morning!

The party was nice. The food was fine, the desserts were gorgeous and yummy, I got to hold Dh coworker's beautiful, tiny two month old baby (she weighs less than Bean at birth) and ride the carousel. I love carousels.

The company gifted us a pretty glass tree ornament, and two bottomless mugs of hot cocoa at the park - which came in souvenir mugs that I now have to get rid of.

We walked around and enjoyed the lights and Dh bought Bean a wooden puzzle (it's a pterodactyl) from the woman who made it at the Christmas village. I talked to her a little about the Christmas village booths - I didn't get the impression that she was having a great year. The stalls with cheap glitzy stuff were a lot busier. Handmade wooden toys might not be the best match for an amusement park.

The second-to-last load of laundry was in the wash when I went to bed last night. Now it is in the dryer. I've got one more load to put in. And two in baskets to put away. I ran the dishes but didn't unload yesterday. I went to the feed store and Dh went out for cat food. I think I can catch up today and make fudge for our caroling party with our friends tonight.

My big job is checking these school projects. And making the fudge.