Good morning!

Tatoulia, you have paid off your debt. Is is ok to spend some of your money on things that bring you joy. Or even just for fun. Especially with a "large and unexpected" bonus!

I started buying Christmas presents and bought food treats this weekend.

I got on the scale this morning. Unfortunately I did not gain *5* lbs at ds house. I am at a new all time not pregnant high weight. My hip is mostly better today after suffering in the car all day yesterday, but I'm pretty sure the speed and quantity of weight gain had something to do with it.
When we got home last night I discovered that the farm sitter had already done my chores (I hadn't called to confirm I would get home, so she just did them at the regular time) which was a blessing because I was not looking forward to carrying water!

Bean is not coming today as it was decided that we both need a quiet day at home. I have far too many ambitions for my "quiet day" we will see how it goes. I did sleep a little later than usual. For starters I want to make afirein the woidstove, wash some windows, and get the Christmas tree inside and into the stand (the tree goes in front of the windows.)

I also have too many pottery, barn, and school goals. I have 19 days before holiday chaos starts.

Lila, thank goodness for the promising health news. I hope you can find some measure of relief. I know this doesn't end the worry. That's terrific you made the biscuits!

Well this long weekend is over. The visiting kitty has left. She's been a very good girl. My friend is still in the bedroom, even though she's free to roam around.

BF and I went to a holiday market in the seaport district last night. Just something to do. And it was nice. I bought one thing ad a gift for my friend in Switzerland. I'd like to get her package sent this week. Just small things. Her dog died and she's separated from her husband. Both things occurred over the last two months.

Today we went to the Life Magazine exhibit at the Museum of Fine Arts. It was terrific.

I spent too much money this weekend. I bought myself a thin white delicately embroidered quilt for my bed. It looks so sweet for the holidays. Then today,I bought myself a few things at the museum. And yesterday I bought a few holiday embroidered towels for my mother. And today I bought her a holiday comforter. I just want to make it Christmassy for her. I've washed the towels yet didn't make it to her house today. Hopefully tmr.

So I spent a bunch of money this weekend. It didn't help that my company gave every employee a large and unexpected bonus on Friday. The board of directors voted for it, to help ease some of the pain with inflation. Pretty nice. I put a lot of it in my savings.

Back to work tmr, but at least I'll be home.

Lila,

I'm glad your results were good and that you liked the biscuits.

Road, good job on the fridge.

I have had a lovely few days with my kids and Bean. Ds and dsil were wonderful hosts and I probably gained five pounds.

Ds showed Bean how to play hockey in his basement. We got their Christmas tree and Bean helped decorate and put up the outside lights. We took Bean to the park across the street to play and on a walk to see cows because ds neighborhood is sandwiched between farms and apartment complexes.

Some of the grownups enjoyed a craft market. Others enjoyed watching football with Bean. We all went to see the lights at the zoo Friday night

And Dd confirmed that there will be another bean next July.

Now I am lying in bed in a hotel with hip pain that I have been struggling with all day.

Gotta get back to yoga and lose some weight.

But for now, goodnight. We drive home in the morning p.

SubC, I related to the thought about this small item fits in the same sized bin. I fought that a lot when I got rid of things. I found the weight of my apartment was holding me down. It was terrible. And yes, having room for something doesn't mean it should stay. I will park down my Christmas things even more this year.

I don't have a Christmas tree,and given my need for a cat in my life (including the small one that is staying with us for Thanksgiving), I'm not sure that owning ornaments makes sense for me. I have plenty of decorations and yet have them oared down to a very small, usable amount. Things I want to see each year and nothing I find burdensome.

It looks Ike I'm reading one post at a time today. Thank you all for bearing with me!

I'm going to start laundry now. Only one other person in my building besides me this weekend. But, there's four cats, as the other person has two and right now I have two. So it's a good balance.

I got the garbage out last night and a second bag out today. I have more recycling to get out and I will do that tomorrow when it's light out. It is pitch black here.

Oh! and SubC - we love the biscuits! We made a double batch and everyone has been enjoying them. I'll have one with soup for lunch today.

I am not caught up yet either, Tatoulia. I want to take some time between tasks and read all the posts. I should be able to today. I miss you all when I don't know what's going on!

Road, I just got my testing back and right now everything looks really good. I have to have imaging to see if there is cancer in the lymph nodes and measure a couple of questionable spots to see if they grew, but so far it looks very good and promising. I am VERY glad about that. Seems like, though, there is always going to be this lurking possibility it will come back or grow again, for the rest of my life. I know I won't ever just forget about it or feel like I am cancer free, forever. It will always lurk. Hopefully I can forget about it between testing, at least. I am relieved, so far.

Today and tomorrow I finally have REAL days off. No medical appointments, no stress, no work work. I can just do laundry and clean and cook and relax.

So far today I:
- took trash out and bins to the road
- reorganized a cabinet
- brushed the dog a bit
- brought up clean towels (I need to fold them still)
- brought up my clean laundry (I need to put them away)
- ate oatmeal and had coffee

I hope to deal with some more veggies, get Son to vacuum, and run an errand. Maybe work on my room a bit.

What are you all up to today?

Not caught up because I wanted to respond to Road. I'm so sorry your husband is hurtful. I could feel my throat starting to feel really full like I was holding back tears, if that makes sense. I'm so sorry.

Wow! You got a lot of cleaning done! Amazing! I know the feeling of seeing more that needs to be done but guess what? That means you are seeing things for what they are! And you are making incredible progress.

Did I tell you about the first time I had cleaners here? The very cheerful cleaner mentioned that my house is dirty. She said it with such glee, I swear she was being kind and accurate. I told her to do what she can in the two hours, and so they did the bathroom, kitchen, and living room. I didn't want them in the bedroom. Back then, they came every other week. And slowly I let them in the bedroom, and eventually had them changing my sheets.

So don't stress in what needs to be done. Look at what you are doing! Great job!

Hi all, we got through it. Everyone was fine, nice, some fun was had. A lot of the clean up is done. And I finally cLeaned the last two shelves of my fridge... Seems like a huge accomplishment since i stretched it out over so much time and it was hard for me. Now I am glad I am starting the maintenance phase. Had to toss most of what was in there. I just get blind to it and have also not been good about "what do I have that needs to be used." I think I will be better about that now though since I'm doing some meal planning. I think I had a good balance of disposing of things... if it was really awful I just pitched it. If I thought I could easily clean it out I did and recycled, and the ball jars I Cleaned & saved. Definitely going to try out my shoe box idea again. (Clear plastic shoe box upside down to block out back half of shelves). That way I can see and reach everything and will hopefully waste less forgetting about things.

Hope everyone had a good holiday and you were able to get together with your beans, your tots, your friends and family...

Hi again, I stress ate and had a drink and boo hoo'd a bit then got mad again, went to sleep and woke up to my sister canceling also. I really need to adopt some new family. I am mainly hurt in behalf of my son who worships a family who works hard not to deserve him. That makes me really mad. But he came in smiling this am so mommy needs to get it together. I'm tempted to tell my mother in law to recruit a few guests from her lobby. 😂 it's just a difference of two people but now that we are only having my parents, my brother and my MIL it all seems so ridiculous and expensive. Maybe we will throw a party now that the house is cleanish and we have all this food...

Re the ornies, I don't disagree with any of that. But I'm on a path and I am pretty far down the road from where I was already. I stopped the problematic acquiring in most categories (including Christmas) a number of years ago. There were years I would shop or go to a thrift store almost every day during the season and pick up a few things each time which added a hundred every year. That's over. My main goal and a way more important one for my happiness and functioning is to reduce the overwhelming volume of stuff in the garage and basement (and my room). I can't obsess over "this could be used for that... it has potential" or "I can't just throw this away - it has to be disposed of properly or donated to just the right place." Those are concerns functional people without a clinical hoarding problem can have. My job is to get out from under and rebuild before I get too old or too sick to do it.

Along those same lines, I will ultimately waste less over the course of my lifetime if I get over my issues with cleaning regularly and establish normal maintenance habits. For example, I repurchase certain things because I can't find ones I already have. Not for the thrill of the purchase. For example not doing laundry normally for years (Having 6 loads just lost in the laundry area semi permanently) is how I ended up with 50 pairs of socks, etc. Part of the reason I have so many school supplies for my son is the whole psychological issue for sure, but the other side to it is I didn't maintain the way they were stored and the H would get frustrated with the mess (the way I left them worked for me but did look messy) and he would bin them up and stash them somewhere and out of sight out of mind. "Well, I need something now, I will buy it" ?sometimes having no memory of having already bought something or no idea where what I already have is. In other words, it's executive functioning issues. Same goes for the stuff I'm still having challenges with... books and needlework stuff. The books purchases are mostly online and definitely kind of stress relief. But I don't have a problem parting with them once I've looked at them. I have adhd issues organizing myself to do it in any volume that makes a dent... so it's more of a buying prob, not a hoarding prob If that makes sense. With the needlework stuff, it's not an issue space wise (only two bins) but it's a financial issue. What I'm working on now to deal with it is setting up a habit of tracking purchases and wish lists and inventory, and setting up a budget category on the rocket money app.

So way too much information about the dark corners of my brain...

CM, so nice to read your posts. I totally understand about the computer. That is a key tool for me and I've been working with out one for several years... ugh! So gLad you are Back in business.

Tatoulia, how are you feeling?? Nice that you got to do some shredding... that's gotta feel good.

Lila, I am afraid when I disappeared you were about to find out what was going on health wise, so I don't know exactly where things stand but I am thinking of you. I am really glad you have someone there and that you're letting them clean and cook.

Subc, I am dying to see your pigs. I couldn't quite grasp what you were saying about net gains... are you tracking what you're making?

Ok, I am off to get this day started... hugs to all of you - some of my very favorite people. 💕💕💕💕

Good morning - popping in before I go.

Road, all that cleaning sounds impressive!

Dh and I went through that stage when I started cleaning out. It's really hard. There was a lot of me crying. I just kept trying to communicate what was going on with me when he was in a good mood "I did this. This is why it is more important than it looks. This is what I need to help me keep doing it." And I found you guys. And he went to therapy..

Your Christmas decorations sound amazing, but I want to talk to you a little bit about some of the things you said. I just want you to look at what your brain is telling you more carefully, because our brains try to trick us.

You posted:

"But yeah the volume got so overwhelming. That was not fun. Then the funny thing is last night we went downtown to see the windows, go to the Christmas market and a nice dinner. The market had no less than 3 huge glass ornament shops. I was not even tempted to go in I was so sick of glass ornaments after all that unpacking, etc. Mr. Road couldn't believe I didn't want to go in those shops. I still occasionally buy a glass ornament but it's a manageable amount."

It is great that you had processed the saturation level of your ornaments and overwhelmed the desire to even look at more (When you really get there, you'll be able to enjoy looking at them and not want to buy them!) but that last sentence hit me. When the ornaments are overwhelming and you have too many to display, and it's not even fun to look through them and choose what goes out this year- it's not manageable. And when the quantity of stuff is already unmanageable, even one more is not a manageable amount.

You may be able to afford the cost. You may be able to find somewhere to put the new one, but that is because old ones have been forced into a "nonspace" as my family likes to say.

All those bins and boxes that are sucking our time and emotional energy and making us feel overwhelmed are in "nonspace" they are things where things should not be.

Like my pottery - my brain tells me I can keep making pottery because I enjoy it, and I sell it, and I don't even finish the standard 25 piece allotment for most of my classes- so really, I should be making more! And reality is that I make far more than I sell, and some of it isn't very good, and there is pottery stacked in many nonspaces. (you can tell that something is in a nonspace if removing it makes your home look more normal) My brain also tells me that buying one bowl at the sale is nothing, because there was so much I *wanted* to buy and I didn't.

Dh actually likes the bowl. He picked it up yesterday and said "I love this bowl. Let's get rid of all the commercial dishes and just have handmade stuff."

Also, one more thought about Christmas ornaments before I go - when I first started cleaning them out (a work in progress) I would feel like "what is the point of getting rid of these three ornaments, they are tiny and fit in the bin and the bin takes up just as much space." the point is that getting rid of them helps your brain practice good decision making and get better at it. And they take up your mental energy. And every speck of mental energy you can reclaim from you stuff is progress. It adds up.

Happy 🦃 day!

Hey it's a full house! Hi all you wonderful people.

Epic cleaning day today. We are hosting tomorrow and so we've both been working all day cleaning and shopping and cooking. I already did two in person shops and two online shops for this dinner but still had to send the H to the store for more today.

The morning started out ok. Then we had an altercation - well more like the H got overwhelmed with the mess (I was actively working on it at the moment and had been for several hours plus all I've done in the weeks leading up to this). He doesn't understand why I never seem to get it all done ahead of time without his help. Why should he do anything - he works full time plus eXtra and I am a sahm. Etc. He can never just discuss anything. It's like he's ladidadidah acting like a goofy 14 year old and then something triggers him and whammo- dr. Jekyl appears. I don't respond because it only escalates. Also my brain sort of liquefies and I shut down. And then I feel like crying for three hours and he just goes back to normal. He tried to sorta apologize but minimized what he did and I stated That yeah, it could have been worse but what he did do left me feeling like crying for hours. He didn't want to hear that. After that he really pitched in and worked hard all day and I eventually recovered and I'm trying to let it go.

It seems unjust that with all the progress I've made it doesn't seem to buy me any grace. I feel like I've done many things lately that I haven't been able to do for years but he doesn't see that - or if he does it just serves as a comparison for what I should have been doing but wasn't and that makes him mad too. There is just no winning. I totally get his frustration with the state of things and how long things have been messed up, but it certainly is discouraging when you see he will never be satisfied.

I guess I am having a pity party. He has complimented me a few times about the decorations being up early, etc. I'm just so hurt by what he says and does when he loses it. I am so over it. Argh. I feel like crying again remembering it. Usually I block it out and struggle to remember what happened.

Anyway, I don't want to make this about him. I want to acknowledge all the stuff that got done recently.

Finally got it together and bought a new Christmas tree. I shopped quite a bit and found a prelit tree that seemed really nice for less than $300. I spent about 3-4 hours fluffing it and I am really happy with it. I am a major complainer (as you all know) and a perfectionist and I am frankly shocked that I ended up happy with the tree. I also bought a primitive style tree at the consignment furniture store. I ordered lights for that and got the top half done and decorated. I had to order more lights and those came today, but I won't take the time to finish lighting and decorating that tree til after tomorrow. The new larger tree is mostly decorated with antique glass. It could use another hour or two and then it will be done done. These two projects put me face to face with my ornament collection. I guess there are three main categories.
1) hallmark
2) hand made/ woodsy/scandy/ santas /vintage/intl folk art (it all works together)
3) glass and antique glass

The hallmark I've basically stopped collecting and stopped displaying. I may sell it off in lots at some point. Minor amt. of anxiety. I'm not totally sure where they all are or how many boxes I have of them.

The hand made ones I have 3x what I can reasonably display so I need to get rid of at least half of it but that fills me with anxiety. I have no issue getting rid of onesies and twosies that are not as nice or have wear or whatever. These are the sentimental favorites. I have considered decorating a large garland with them to be able to display more but I think I've decided that is just too cluttered a look for my smallish house. I still do buy some but in small quantities and I'm much more selective now. Ideally I would be able to totally stop buying these.

As for the glass, I was horrified to realize I had somehow accumulated 6 bins of these. I think I have 1000+. This is like 4x what I can display and honestly, most years putting up two trees is more than I can handle so they usually don't get displayed at all. I tried to go through everything but I got burned out half way through. I found some that were broken and still couldn't quite throw them away. 🙄😖 but I started putting those and the ones I like least in one or two bins. It's been years since I've seen a lot of these and it was fun but very time consuming unwrapping them all. But yeah the volume got so overwhelming. That was not fun. Then the funny thing is last night we went downtown to see the windows, go to the Christmas market and a nice dinner. The market had no less than 3 huge glass ornament shops. I was not even tempted to go in I was so sick of glass ornaments after all that unpacking, etc. Mr. Road couldn't believe I didn't want to go in those shops. I still occasionally buy a glass ornament but it's a manageable amount. Still would be better to be at zero in and 100s out but I'm not there yet. I just bought one at a thrift the other day, and a new one that looks like my puppy this week.

So all the inside decorating is done except for half of one tree and 10% of the other - mainly extra fill in and the stuff at the top I have to teeter on the antique step stool to get to...
Hope to do some exterior decorating next week.

Cleaning - today I cleaned out the sink and soaked the dishes, washed the counter, a window, a door, lots of door jams, and cabinet fronts. I washed all the appliance fronts and did some deep cleaning on the more hidden angles of the fridge sides... I did the bathroom and the mirrors the other day. I've swept the floor a few times this week but you sure couldn't tell today. The H ended up doing it again today and actually washed the floor with the miracle pet thing which actually smells good. It's kind of cinnamony. He washed more doors and cleaned my sons room and swept the stairs... I packed up all the boxes of Christmas stuff and he took it back downstairs. Every thing that I cleaned made me realize how much more needed doing and how long it's all been neglected. But hey, everything inside the fridge except the top two shelves looks amazing! I cleaned the toilet and the sink again and washed the walls a little. Oh well on and on. It was quite the day. The H also cleaned off the
Porch.

Well, now after all of that I just got a call from my niece who was completely obliterated letting me know she wasn't coming tomorrow. I could hardly understand what she was saying she was so wasted. Great. Even though I have learned to downplay her attendance at family events so that my son doesn't expect her to come, he still asked about her 428 times in the last 2 months and now she won't be there. I'm so pissed.

Well, I can't think straight any more and this has already been too long of a post. Very productive day. It will be nice having everything be so much cleaner now and hopefully I can keep making progress.

I have stuff to say to each of you but I need to get a grip on my emotions. Hopefully back later tonight.

Lila, I hope you like them.

I'm glad you have friends to take care of you.

The adrenaline I hav3 been running on for week wore off and my stomach doesn't feel good and I don't want to do anything. Even though I know nex5 week I'll be sorry I wasted the time.

I just realized that the Christmas presents are 8 more things out of my studio. Honestly I shouldn't "count" the six I put back to rework, so maybe 8 out tomorrow to give away, leaving 21 more to break even (breaking even being still too much) I already have some ideas I want to make for the spring sale.

hi all,

SubC we are making your squash biscuits. I am excited to try them. I had medical procedures this week so have been offline and not working. Now I am home and my friend came to help me. Another friend made me soup for lunch today. I have good friends. I was a little embarrassed about the state of my house, did a quick dash and stash before she came. She is staying with me and it is such a blessing. She has been cleaning my kitchen and cooking for my Son. And we got 7 butternut squash baked, mashed and frozen so they are off my table.

I have a headache so will come back and read later. I am not really able to do anything today but help her made the buscuits, and enjoy them and some soup.

Good afternoon!

I slept late this morning, so I finally feel rested.

The very belated Christmas gifts came out beautifully.

My first of two loads is in the washing machine.

The place where we cut our Christmas tree every year is a couple of miles down the road and run by what are now family friends. They were closed in 2020 and called us to ask when we wanted to come get our tree. ❤️ This year they are only going to be open Friday - Sunday after thanksgiving, and we will be gone. so we called. They said "come get your tree." So we did that this morning.

Off to do this, that, and the other thing...

Good evening!

I am not caught up on dishes, but the dishwasher is running.

I have two loads of laundry to do before I can pack tomorrow.

The kiln is also running. I have to adjust it two more times before I can go to bed, so I will hopefully get to bed around 11. Which is very late for me, but tomorrow those unfinished Christmas gifts will be off the "things I'm failing at" list.

Hi Tatoulia!

I knew you'd come back.

Good job on hazardous waste day!

My house looks like a bomb went off in it and my body feels like I was home when it happened.

Last year I gave my ds and ddil pottery that had not been glazed for Christmas. I "let them choose their own glazes". (I didn't have time to finish)

All year they have not come here in a car, so I have had no pressure to finish. Thursday we are going to them in a car. So I need to get these things glazed today so I can fire them tonight and take them!

Also I need to do laundry. Today I am in the top corner of the "urgent and important" quadrant all day. Some day, I would like that quadrant to be empty. Just once. Or, I guess to only say "feed animals"

I did stop midchores last night to warm up in the studio for a few minutes and find ten pots that I can toss in the bridge fill. That's a start.

I also got some sleep last night.

Hi everyone! I don't know when I last posted.

We went to hazardous waste day on Saturday. BF had four big boxes for shredding and I had one small one. I also took some electronics.

The city hasn't posted the schedule for next year and I don't know if they do this in January or not.

Thanksgiving is upon us. I'll be eating out. I'll bring mom a plate and sit with her during the day.

I have to go see her now. So hard when it's so dark out!

I bought my very old cat a heating pad and I have it under her blanket. It automatically turns off after two hours. She really loves it.

We have a cat coming to stay with us for Thanksgiving. Bf said if there's any trouble, he'll take my cat to his house. This cat was here over Labor Day, I think it was. It's when we had that other terrible cat here and I made the owner pick her up the same night. Anyway, my cat and the other cat are okay but not perfect. And my cat is just so old. We shall see.

Have to get my recycling out. I have two packages to mail and then I'm off the hook for Christmas gifts I'm mailing. The6 are in boxes and addressed. I used to take care of a woman in Rochester, NY but the last two years she didn't receive my gifts including expensive gift cards so it's not worth it to me. Plus I'm worn out with mom.

I did four loads of laundry yesterday. I'm pretty happy about that.

CM, I don't have Instagram - or anything. I have a teacher email address and a personal email address and a wall phone and a flip phone that won't receive texts. My iPad gets instant messenger using my personal email, other than that I'm living in the late 90s. On purpose.

I'm glad you got your sleep figured out.

I'm running some laundr6 and baking our bread while Bean naps (he made the dough) I intended to work on finishing myddil's Christmas gift from LAST YEAR but I'm so bloody tired. Must force self to function..

Dashing in with biscuit recipe:

Preheat oven 425

Combine:

2.5c flour
1T baking powder
1tsp. Salt
1/2tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg

Cut in 1 stick (8T butter)

Add 3/4 c milk and
1 c mashed squash.

Drop biscuits in 12 equalish lumps on cookie sheets and bake 20 minutes.

Thanks for the Badger, SubC. I'll make use of him real soon.

Do you have Instagram? It would be fun to see your pigs with wings and other pieces.

Hi Tatoulia, Road, Lila, and anyone else who happens by.

This week is going to be a bit disjointed with the holiday coming and just our busy schedules. Roommate has been taking Tai Chi classes which will end mid-December. There was some mixup or lack of clarity in that she thought it was the beginner class and for arthritis, but it turned out to be the 2nd regular class, so she's having a time getting up to speed. And just coordinating it with other things we have going on. But they may get the same guy, who teaches through the park board, to come to the senior center soon and do the arthritis one.

I have GOT to get my rapidly expanding butt back to the gym. Things sort of started falling apart with that back in August, when some crazy stuff was happening - around the time of my uncle's passing - and I didn't make it out to the water park one last time which was disappointing and demotivating. Then my closer branch where I would've gone to swim indoors was redoing the locker room. They've installed these padlock-less locks which require a code and it threw me for a loop because CHANGE 😱 and my fear of forgetting things especially when I have enough to do to try and remember to take along a change of clothes and stuff. I have to follow a mental checklist, I have a way of putting necessary items in a pouch that I then attach my car keys to, because otherwise I've been known to leave things behind. Basically I have to idiot-proof everything. And once I have my little routine finally memorized, change disrupts it.

But I literally last week made a trip to the gym to inspect these new locks, I took out my tablet and typed the instructions in, in a way that I understood. Would've taken a picture of the actual lock but that's verboten because of the rule against taking pictures in the locker room, which is a good rule. So instead, I wrote down the name of the company and I can pull a picture from their website. That will then go on a little laminated card along with the typed procedure. And I'll need to start carrying a sharpie marker to write on my hand or somewhere the number of whatever locker I get - before, the lock was how I could tell.

Overkill perhaps, but if it helps me get past my hesitancies, where's the harm. Once it becomes the new routine, I won't need the cheat card.

Another thing that had become a problem at the end of summer, but is now on the way to resolution, was a worsening of agoraphobia - so that if I couldn't do things during the lighter traffic parts of the day, I would skip doing them at all. But I've had a good thing happen very recently, which is that I put two and two together and figured out something bad I was doing with regard to my sleep cycle, and that was really pulling me down.

What I was doing, was taking afternoon naps because I felt exhausted and sometimes a bit in a funk. But I tend to take very long naps - because I don't want to set an alarm as being startled out of sleep seems to negate its benefits. However, the long naps were messing with nighttime sleep. This month, I got busy and just decided to skip the naps, and pretty soon I discovered I was having a lot less anxiety! Life pro tip! Now if I can just add the exercise back in, I should see some real progress, because of course exercise gets the blood flowing to the brain, burns off free floating adrenaline, and all those many benefits. And hopefully will start the weight going downward too.

Roommate and I are going to go out and purchase a toaster oven because I apparently broke the toaster attempting to open it up and clean it - yikes - I thought I put it back together correctly but it doesn't work. And we decided a toaster oven would be nice to have again. She'd bought that larger convection toaster oven but it's too large for just a couple of pieces of toast. Also, there was a thing I used to do roasting a chicken breast and some potatoes in the small toaster oven, which was a handy meal to make at home. I know I've been way too reliant on fast food and that hasn't helped my weight one bit.

We're so crowded in here - need time with not so many outside commitments to do more downsizing and decluttering. I'm going to look around for more small wins like the pens and pencils - maybe slightly bigger items if I can think of some. And take the Badger trip to the thrift shop, and figure out what to do with some recyclables since we don't have the service anymore - can't hoard everything but a few easy straightforward items like flattened cardboard and a bag of milk jugs would be all right if taken to the recycling place regularly.

Starting to get rabbit club things flowing more smoothly - new computer is a big help. I've finished a few pending things already. Still want to finish and market those fundraising crafts - things like funny bunny slogan plaques, which will be basically designed and printed with the computer and then decoupaged onto the wood bases. Then I can get the mishmash of plaques, paints, and whatnot that is back by the craft table made into finished products, stored neatly and compactly, and I can start marketing them online to the group and possibly elsewhere.

I'm glad my own design classes in Inkscape and Krita are past - I'm continuing to practice, and the guy who taught them at the library is very nice and available when I get to the point where I'll need some guidance to troubleshoot and keep learning stuff. But with the holidays approaching I like to keep my calendar as clear as possible.

I'm just rambling about many things and I could probably ramble about several more. But I'll just wait for a subsequent post because I need to get going more on the day.

I found three more things I made I forgot to count - 45.

If I got the inventory right, I sold 16 pieces of pottery. So that is a net increase of 30 pieces of pottery 😳

Unsustainable.

I have found six pieces I want to rework. I am going to set myself the challenge of finding 24 pieces to give away or smash and put in the backfill by the bridge before Christmas.

Bean and I made raisin bread and I have done chores and one load of laundry.

Good morning.

So much to do.

I did my count, and this fall I have finished, made and completed, or purchased 42 items of pottery. That includes things made for sale that did not sell, but not ornaments (three), pigs or hippos because those are things I want to keep in stock. I need to make more pigs and hippos.

I still have not unloaded the car to take inventory of how many pieces of old stock I sold this weekend. I only sold one bowl made specifically for the sale!

Bean will help me bake and do laundry today. Maybe get feed and do some vacuuming. I will take him home and run errands this evening.

Haven't forgotten biscuits.

Very tired. Chores done. Bean tucked in bed. Need to start dishes and set up coffee.

I think my sale went really well. I haven't had a chance to compare my inventory sheet with what I brought home, but I sold 17 pig ornaments and I have an order from a coworker for two more next week, plus I sold over 20 little hippos, so that puts me over $300 before other pottery is figured in.

I bought a Christmas gift for ddil and a bowl and a little ornament for me.

Good evening!

Time to read, but not really address everything. I had a good first day of the sale.

Road, good job on the music boxes.

My dad used to say "pig wings!" Instead of "b?- s?-"

So far I sold 9 of 26 pigs. My best year was 17 in two days. (I have sold other stuff too)

CM, good job on the pens!

I love the senior center for you! Also:🦡

Lila, I hope the event was ok.

The biscuits do freeze. Recipe soon.

Lila, I knew SubC would be the person who could help you sort the veggies! I know that's not my strong suit, as I rarely eat any. I also can't toss candy or other carbs unless I hate the way they taste, which almost never happens. That's because it triggers rebellion in me from back when I used to go on strict diet regimens or try to. When some years back I read Martha Beck's book about the psychology of weight loss, The Four Day Win, I realized what was happening to me was I was setting off a scarcity mentality. But everyone's mileage will vary on what tactics work for them.

Today I just have a little thing to report - but it has to do with tangible physical object decluttering so I want to claim my small bragging rights so that I will reinforce the trend! I was looking for a pen and I found one that writes in turquoise but it skipped. I'd bought a bunch of these cheapo pens that were turquoise, lime green, hot pink, orange, purple, etc. at the Dollar Tree. Clip Clicks they're called. And I'd actually had okay luck with the Clip Clicks in the standard ink colors of black, blue, and red.

But these zany colors, I don't know if I just don't use them often enough and they dry up, or if the ink is of a different quality to begin with. Finally, I have acquired a reasonable supply of my favorite pen brand, Paper Mate Profile, which write in a nice thick stroke because I have a firm hand when I write and I loathe a thin line pen; they just don't seem to write darkly enough to suit my handwriting style and they feel funny, draggy on the paper. You know how we learn over time in this decluttering game that it's so much better to have a few good quality of whatever - pens, clothing pieces, dishes, etc. - than a zillion crappy cheap ones that just frustrate us.

So anyway, I decided to pull out the packs of the Clip Clicks that I realize I have been holding onto because of sunk cost fallacy, thinking oh, someday I'll use 'em up and then just not buy any more. NOPE. They need to go away. I don't need to be haunted by stupid cheap pens! And yet because some of them might be good but I haven't got the time or energy to test them, whoever buys them from the thrift store will either get some good out of them, or at least be more decisive about throwing them away.

My mother when I was growing up used to have a fountain pen that she used for most everything. I understand fountain pens are making a comeback; they're certainly more ecologically friendly. But I have ADHD and I lose things, so I dunno. It is bad how much plastic goes into crummy pens. But I can't fix the whole world right now. The Clip Clicks are out in my van with some other things to donate.

I do need a bit of BADGERING to get the donations to the thrift shop. Ladies...?

Thank you SubC! This will get me going. I forgot to mention radishes, but I will trim those and wash them and maybe bake them. I have had them roasted before and they taste good. I'll make myself a spinach smoothie today as well.

I have an event to go to today that I committed to before I knew how difficult it would be for me, but since there are only two of us in a specific role that needs two people, I have to go. I hope I am glad I went. I am pretty sure I can't even eat the food they serve since it will be meat and stuff I am allergic to. Praying it is worth going and when I get back I will say I am glad I went.

I will get started on the veggies, bake the squash, yes to the biscuit recipe please! I bet those would freeze well, have you tried it? Maybe they will become a Tot favorite! Then I will be gone to the event for a few hours. I have to work tomorrow morning also, but then I have the entire week of Thanksgiving off. I am glad about that.

I'll be back to see how everyone is doing today!

Thanks for keeping the lights on!

I will have more to say later, but for now I am just having a little coffee before I get moving - day one of the sale - and I want to get Lila started.

Lila, it is probably not as bad as it feels. You just had your babies over for dinner!

Spinach goes bad first - salad, smoothies, use in a sandwich instead of lettuce.

I don't like collard greens.

Slice the cabbage in one inch slices and follow any recipe for roasted Brussels sprouts. I like walnuts and a little maple syrup.

Carmelize the onions and freeze them on a baking sheet. Break them up and bag them and keep them in your freezer to use for soups or any recipe that starts with "brown onions"

Bake the spaghetti squash and pumpkins, scoop them out, mash and freeze. I will give you Bean's biscuit recipe if you want.

Just start baking and eating the spaghetti squash.

Turn your heat down a little - it will save money and veggies.

Good job on the candy!

post 2 Friday night -

After I posted, I gathered my strength and threw out the rest of the bag of candy I was eating. It's a step. Then I put in one load of laundry and swept up a small area in the family room. Now I'm tired. But at least I will have clean clothes in the morning. I literally ran out of clean clothing that fits me so putting the laundry is was something I really needed to do.

I would like your help with one task, please, anyone who can help and encourage me. Someone came over and gave me extra food. I do not know what to do with it. Please please tell me how to do something with each item before it rots - considering I am vegetarian, and it is just me and Son here eating. I already offered some of this food to neighbors and they declined. Here is what I have, and need to know how to either preserve it or use it somehow.

a ten pound bag of onions
several butternut suash
several spaghetti squash
several "sugar pie" small pumpkins
several cabbages
a very large bundle of collard greens
two huge bags of baby spinach

This is all really a blessing as I can't afford much food right now. Please help, this is overwhelming.

My garage is so cold anything left in there freezes at night. All areas of my house are so warm that even winter squashes don't keep for long (no cool area). I do have a large freezer. What to do with all of this, and how to preserve? I already made a huge pot of vegetable soup and froze most of it.

hello friends,

I was happy to just come here and read all your posts. I wish my memory was better, but I wanted to say things like, No More Brio Tracks at my house, I understand relationship issues and a grouchy hub but now my grouchy hub is grouching somewhere else and although in a weird way I miss him, I don't miss that. Sorry about the broken bowl... wondering why you are making pigs with wings... thinking about depression and clutter. And darkness and coldness, having a hard time prioritizing, and I'm glad the friend does not have a cancer recurring.

I am struggling. Cancer tests next week. I have been stress eating junk and throwing out rotting veggies which causes me a huge deal of shame. I think perhaps I just need to throw out the junk instead. How strange, really, that the junk will last for months in the cupboard but I MUST eat it, while the nice fresh produce does not last but I avoid it to eat the junk.

My no spend November is terrible.

My house is very bad. Everything is in chaos, I have many thinks that really have got to be done but I sit here lamenting and being scared to do any of it.

I don't know how to get out of this rut.

This is just a small hello 👋 roommate is out of town and I'm holding down the fort. I made a fall themed cake earlier and decorated it - it's on Instagram @BunnyPlanetQueen if you want to see it.

She's only going to be away until tomorrow night so I'm not going to attempt any big projects, plus I'm tired. There have been some taxing things and I'll just need to see how it all shakes out. So I'm downshifting into relaxed mode. Bunnies, baking, sudoku, etc.

Here and there I have accomplished a little, though. Got some things done for the bunny group; we have our event on Sunday, so I got the newsletter finished and some miscellaneous.

My own computer work is coming along; I would love for it to be faster, but even with crazy days and delays I'm getting a lot more done than I have in a long time because this computer is blazing fast compared to the previous ones. And I started going through my jottings about what file directories I've cleaned up and transferred and which are still to be done, and I see definite progress. Should be able to wrap it up, at least the main phase of it, fairly soon.

The senior center is going to be another place where I can catch up on projects in an uncluttered environment. And the main one is near the library. I realize that at some point I'm still going to have to confront my physical mess here and at the storage unit. But having some wins with the computer is energizing and helps me feel less discouraged and more on top of things. Crafts are another thing I'll be able to work on at the senior center.

They were holding a bazaar the day we signed up, which meant that the members had booths where they were selling garage sale miscellaneous and/or crafts. I've been wanting to have a garage sale for awhile, but had no place to have it. They hope to have another bazaar in April. That would give me a decluttering goal again and a happy one at that. A carrot 🥕 rather than a stick.

** that was supposed to say subc, not sync. Is there a way to add exceptions to autocorrect?! If I ever find the jackass millennials responsible for the programming that's always turning innocent words into embarrassing words I am going to kick them in the bidoobies.

Nice that your work event ticked off some boxes for you professionally *and* socially. Also, the thought of someone making ceramic "when pigs fly" things makes me very happy indeed. The fact that it's you doing it is Icing on the cake. It's a pet visual of mine. i fact, I Have actually considered a flying pig as a logo.

Lila and Tatoulia, how goes allthe things? Hi to anyone else listening. 💕

Hey all,

Sync, sorry to hear about your daugh's job. CM, amazing news with your friend's health scare.

Had two funny hoarding related things just happen. Someone posted in another group a link to a lecture and as I was listening to her describing the number of people for whom things start in childhood I opened a mystery bankers box and lo and behold my first hoard ever - stuffed animals I got when I was in the hospital at age 4. The only logic I can attribute to this bit of mystical juju is that since I was listening to a hoarding lecture it motivated me enough to go in the basement and open a few boxes. But considering the box was not out there by me and I haven't seen it for prob 10+ years and at the exact moment she invoked childhood trauma and onset of hoarding, I opened the essential example. My immediate thought was "garbage." Dusty, spidery, stained, faded. I can remember most of their names still. Now I'm kinda thinking bonfire would be suitable - except they're all probably toxic to burn. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the things - just seeing them on one level like another person might - with little emotional attachment. and yet powerful - because that was the ignition point? Some pondering.

Other example is I brought up a box of music boxes. Decided one was warped sounding, two were like raw material projects and I've decided that I am no longer in the market for "this could be." I am totally fulfilled in the "creative maker" category of my life and have a zero track record over many decades of actually making anything out of a music box. Yes, the music is pretty, the works are fascinating. But I am "not that guy." If I want a music box I can buy a nice one. All these little rejects I picked up in thrift stores and garage sales can find their home elsewhere. (Hopefully not with another hoarder though.) I did keep two but when I walked into the living room to place them every available space for Christmas decorating was already taken. so I might still 86 them.

The thing I haven't mentioned yet is how Mr. Road came home in the middle of this and tried to retract several of the tee shirts of my sons I was getting rid of and took the still-boxed music boxes for his white elephant at work. He also picked one up and said "oh this is cute. I thought I knew your taste but I guess not." And I said "this is cute. This is my taste. The problem is I have a basement and garage full of things I really like." It's as if he has no memory of the endless fights. kinda weird.

Also cleaned up the other Easter basket (yes, from April), a spare pumpkin and put them where they go in the basement. As far as Christmas decorating goes I am done with what I can do besides the tree. Also if I find the garland for the mantle, I will take the time to put that up but everything else is really full. Any more and it just would be too much. It's already a little too much. But I still really want to do the trees.

But anyway, it's all good. I have breached the seal on the basement hoard and am making a little progress. I have confirmed that Mr. Road does indeed have a tiny issue with this too. but I think it's manageable. And I'm starting to have some hope about the basement and garage. Thankful for people who are further down the path setting an example and sharing their tips and progress to give the rest of us hope. 💗💕💖💞💓

Good morning!

Road, drop off the donate box!

I am exhausted an amped on adrenaline.

The staff social went really well last night in that everyone seemed to enjoy it and stayed much later than planned.

Not so well in that I didn't have time to do anything but demonstrate, help out chat, and clean up (thought I might finish glazing a thing or two) and that everyone stayed much later than planned.

I did enjoy parts of it and get to know some of my coworkers better.

Now I must try to finish getting ready for my sale and classes - car to load, items to tag, kiln in process of last firing (to go warm in the morning)

I started some laundry.

Will check in later.

Hey guys, looks like some stuff went down here so I will come back after I read up.

Got through this morning which is good. (My sons IEP) Like last year I ended up coping with all the PTSD triggers by ignoring the existence of the meeting until I was in the meeting. It's one way to handle it.

Then I stressed out remembering all the dumb stuff I said and was annoyed that I didn't prepare at all. Then I became productive, Fed the doggies, set up the Christmas houses and reworked all the extension cords, etc. I also moved one of the garlands, Dusted as I went along, and other assorted holiday decorating. Then I cleaned the bins out of the way, and swept the floor so it looked clean when you walk in. I still have to figure out the tree situation. Hoping Mr. Road is motivated to decorate outside or that will probably be a "pass" for this year. Not stressed about it at all - I am in the mood to decorate all the things this year... but I know I have a window of tolerance for it and it will close at some point. My goal is to make each future session as self-contained as possible So I don't end up with a big mess when I've run out of energy to deal with it.

Hosting thanks giving next week. Now that it's staring me down I am very glad Ive already done some deep cleaning in the kitchen & bathroom. I still have two fridge shelves to clean. Maybe I will do that tomorrow.

Ooh, and I also added a few more things to the donate box (which is now overflowing). A couple stray de-hoarding notes... one is a site where you sell your books. I thought this might be a good bridge between selling books one by one on eBay (Which would not really be fast/efficient enough - and outright donating them. I probably have several hundred I need to unload. Another idea I had was to buy the large clear garbage bags for donating soft things like clothes and blankets, etc. I guess it was more exciting in my head.

Well, the kid will be home soon so I should probably run.

Will try to come back later,

CM, I'm glad your roommate is ok. And good for you guys trying new things!

I miss tillie too.

Tatoulia, I know she will be ok, and I know she will find a new job. The important thing was the moving. She really needed to change her life. Denver is so much better for her.

I only fired four pots tonight. Two broke, and one was so bad I put it back to refire. But the fourth one is really cool.

Got a new student today.
I am in charge of the staff social event after school tomorrow.

Still just doing the best that I can.

Evening ladies. (It sure does get dark awfully quickly - and I believe I'm at the southernmost latitude of any of us here - dear Tillie was further south, golly I miss her...)

Anyway, the promised update about the thing that had me worried and preoccupied - and it's good. 👍 My roommate went to her doctor today, and the odd thing she had noticed on her neck awhile back was not a recurrence of cancer but merely scar tissue from the surgery of a couple years ago. Big sigh of relief.

There have been some other stresses. I'll wait to decide if, what, or how much I want to say about those - and there could be a mitigating development. It's nothing health related, at least.

Meanwhile, just getting my feet under me, working on accomplishing little things. Roommate and I joined the community senior center, which has some good resources and activities to offer. We're each trying to break out of the ruts that are easy for homebody introverts to fall into and which can plunge a person into the winter doldrums. (Along those lines, I've already started my countdown on the calendar towards the solstice - today is almost over, so as of tomorrow only 34 days to go).

This autumn has just been intense. I much prefer boring.

Oh no! Your poor daughter! I'm so sorry!

I like the sweet exchange of you texting your husband, he calls her, and then they talk.

There are a lot of jobs right now and your daughter will find something. This is a terrible shame, especially since this was a big move for her.

I have to head to office.

My friend at work calls me piggy and I call her cow. Sometimes she leaves me voice mails where she moos or oinks. When I was promoted, she congratulated me with flowers and the card read something about being in charge of the pigsty. So naturally I'm intrigued by your pigs!

Thanks Tatoulia,

It helps just to be able to tell someone I believe will care.

I did ok today. I put the pottery in the baking soda. I did eat some candy. My classes went well. I took a shoebox full of consumables to my classroom.

Dh is still depressed and miserable, but at least he is not taking it out on me tonight. (By which I mean, being grumpy and negative and unappreciative and generally pissy about everything - he would never be even verbally abusive)

I have one glazed bowl and 14 pigs in the kiln. I have 12 more pigs with their wings glazed, but I don't know how many will actually make it into the kiln. I just don't have enough time!

My Dd in Denver got fired. She called me sobbing. Then Dh tried to call me while we were talking, and I texted him what happened. Then she said "I need to go. Dad is trying to call me. I'd rather talk to him." (I am grateful, not jealous) he says she will be ok.

I feel like I should be worried about her, but I have been worried about her for so long the well is empty. I believe she will be ok.

Teaching tomorrow, and the class I'm taking. That is enough for one day!

SubC, I am so sorry! I truly am. I hope your husband has lightened up. Relationships are hard, for sure.

I'm sorry that you are having a hard time. I wish there were something I could do to help you. You are doing a great job, accomplishing a lot, and are an inspiration to people young and old. Please don't be mad at yourself or your husband.

Sending you love and warmth from cold Boston.

Good morning.

Guys, I am still feeling really discouraged. I didn't do my glazing last night because Dh was just so awful to be around. I went to bed. But I'm not feeling rested.

This is when I make bad decisions. I'm trying really hard to not make bad decisions. I need to go out to the studio and fill a trash can with baking soda saturate and soak some pottery. I need to do that right now. Actually, I need to do that 15 minutes ago.

It's so cold outside.

I went to Costco with Dd to buy the baking soda yesterday. (She has a membership) I ended up spending $50! I bought the baking soda, and naan and babaganouch (sp?) for an easy dinner, and naan for her, and two kinds of juice for Dh, who barely acknowledged it, and a giant bag of chocolate chips.

Being in Costco was horrible and overwhelming.

Ok, my secret trick to doing the things I don't want to do is to break them down. Last night chores were so hard that at one point I was just chanting "keep walking" in my head.

So, steps one and two - post and put down the computer.

Tired. Having trouble prioritizing. Dropping balls. Struggling with decisions.

Dh is grumpy and unpleasant to be around because of work. I hate that most of all.

Road, it sounds like you are doing a good job and making progress!

I hope that your brother gets the job and your stomach issues settle down. Weight loss can help with that too, so good luck! It sounds like a lot of progress!

Bean and I took the cushions off the couch to build a fort and Bean looked at me in horror. Vacuuming ensued.

I did most of the dishes from last night and I have laundry going.

A bowl got wrecked in the kiln because I didn't do a maintenance job I knew I needed to do - I just thought "it will be ok." It was not ok. Sigh.

Somehow I still feel like I am making progress though.

Glaze work to do while Bean naps, so off I go...

Oh rotten fish guts... I just lost a long post and not three minutes after remembering The frustration Saturday when I tried to get my brother to screen shot or copy and paste his responses in the online job application he was working on that he kept losing. He didn't listen to me and then lost another hours work which resulted in me having to witness a 59 year old man having a major melt down. And then predictably, my iPad died and I lost my post.

So I'll start My Monday Morning Post 2.0 with my brother. Learned of job opp a week ago Thursday. Told him about it the same day. He was excited about it, hopeful. This is same job he had a crack at months ago but blew off applying for it. I told my friend if it ever came up again, I would make him apply or do it myself. So I am checking in with him, pushing, and then nagging over the course of a week to get him going. During this time I am sick For a few days, and am helping MIL with her drs. Appts and have drs. Appts of my own, and really can't help... but I am checking in, trying to remind him why this is a good thing... all this time he's ramping up the excuses and the delays... finally This past Thursday I get over there and we get the app done. He blows off submitting the resume and cover letter despite my advice. Then Next day (predictably) she says the app came through but no resume. So Friday night I get him to buckle down on the resume. Turns out all the time he's been claiming to be working on it, he actually has 0.0% done because all he's been doing is looking for his old one which is no where to be found. Which also means the whole time he's been unemployed and saying he can't do things because he's working on job search stuff he's been 100% fos. Ugh, my delusional reflection in him is truly an ugly sight. We had a talk. It was tense. But we got through it. Then Saturday am we reconvened and finished it and a workable cover letter and got it submitted. Last night my parents invited themselves over and once again offered to pay for dinner and I ended up with a $60 take out bill and they gave me $20. Meanwhile, they continue paying my bills and mortgages for my two siblings. Was it something I said? My bro came over and I realized I was avoiding eye contact with him I was so stressed out with him from the last week. But it will be ok. I got him over the hump and if he doesn't get this job it will At least be easier helping him tweak his resume for other Jobs moving forward. I left this experience full of motivation never to be full of $#/+ or delusional again myself.

Actually, maybe this is why I was on a cleaning/organizing binge this weekend. I have much to report on that account however I may have used up my fingers on complaining again about my sibs.

I just heard Mr. Road downstairs barfing. He said he thinks he has the flu and already called in sick which he never does. Ugh oh...

Oh, before I forget I was gonna mention something about BRIO as it relates to my hoarding issues... and also say I too am a health-food-foodie and a semi closeted Doritos and donut appreciator.

BRIO - when. My sister was a young mom and I was still a teenager we would go around to yard sales and thrift stores and I saw her getting buzzed from finding BRIO track here and there... I mean, I basically learned the craft of hoarding in the shadow of a BRIO bridge. Haha Well, funny not funny. When I was pregnant with my son, and we had just bought our house those memories of her shopping for higher end things on a budget served as a foundation for a growing addiction to garage sales and thrifting to feather the nest. 20 years later the garage and basement are fully hoarded, a couple of mice and chipmunk families have come and gone, my marriage has been damaged repeatedly, and I've lived in a room with a foot of garbage on the floor and gone for days without showers or clean clothes (possibly for several years - I'm not actually sure). So I formally flip the bird to BRIO. Omg I do ramble.

I wrote more about my health in post 1.0 but the jist (is jist not a word?) I really had to fight for that. The jist is doc thinks I have GERD (actually was already diagnosed I guess due to night time coughing fits/asthma) and it seems to have gotten bad enough to lead to these esophageal spasm attacks that have been knocking me out. They build over a number of hours to a point where it's so painful and pressure is so great you can't talk or walk or breathe normally. Really no fun. And almost all of them have been followed by a second attack a few hours later. They also cause me to take a bunch of ant acids, anti gas, stuff for pain, allergy pills, and muscle relaxants which are probably all hard on my kidneys and have other lingering effects. So I'm just taking omeprazole for a few weeks and we will go from there. This adds another layer of food restrictions to my already pretty restricted diet so I'm pretty annoyed. I will say on the whole since I got diagnosed in April w the ckd, I dramatically changed a number of habits, and lost 25 lbs. partly from stress, and partly from being more cautious... this brings me to my wide eyed reading of sub c saying she usually sits on the floor. If I have to get down to the floor it's an official project... and getting back up? Look out - you're gonna hear some swears. But honestly, I have been so surprised how much losing 25 lbs. - even with 80/100 more to lose - Can change your functioning level. There were times I have had to use my arms holding the rails to pull myself up the stairs. And of course I was avoiding stairs... I still avoid them, but less. I really think I have gone down a size. I am shorter in the car because. My butt is less padded. My boobs have fallen even more because there is less belly holding them up. (This was not a fun discovery)... but anyway. There were other little things too like crossing my legs again, and holding my hands clasped ? I guess because my fingers got slightly thinner and I could? Weird.

Oh this is horribly long. I do apologize.

So this is what I did over the week cleaning/organizing:
- packed up Halloween decorations (3 bins)
- countless loads of laundry - sheets, towels, clothes, stuff to be donated, blankets, etc.
- gosh what did I do?
- started buying stuff for thanksgiving
- started decorating for Christmas. Mantle phase 1 is done. Started setting up set of houses we've had for years but never set up. Took a while to unpack and figure out the electrical cords and where to set them up... in progress...
- cleaned out bathroom cabinet downstairs. Cleaned out sink, washed some of the floor/toilet, decorated for Christmas, fixed a picture frame, folded towels, tried new basket situation (abandoned new basket situation), fixed the wax melted and worked on a candle... projects still to tackle - hole in wall from door knob, wash or repaint wall that has marks from laundry hamper and son sneak eating ice cream sandwiches in there and smearing chocolate all over the walls... and the floor under the sink way back is really bad. No one can see it but might be nice to clean once every 5 years.
- Also cleaned out upstairs bathroom cabinet.
- cleaned off standing desk again
-

Oh my goodness I was on my feet working all day yesterday but I am out of time and out of memories!

Over and out people! Have a great Monday. Will come back and blather more later if I can.

Good evening!

Good to see so many people back! I hope road is doing well.

CM, you can insist that the rabbit work be scheduled around you. You are more important than the rabbits. Food, rest, sanitation, exercise, and I think in your case also church. Then rabbits. If they can't find so done else, they will just have to settle for what they can get. Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend you care about.

I'm glad your new computer is treating you well!

Tatoulia, I have a feeling that your job would be a lot less interesting if I actually knew what it was. But if not, maybe some day you will get a chance to tell me.

I hope dinner with your brother is good.

Lila, I am sorry about teen. I hope you enjoyed your group.

I got my first set of ornaments glazed and ready for the kiln, and the second set is fired and cooling. Dd and dsil came by tonight and made us dinner, and Bean is bathed, tucked in, and sleeping. The kids just left, so I need to get out and do my chores so I don't stay up too late. While I was in the studio today I tossed a couple more things I was never going to finish into the scrap bucket. Progress I guess?

Tatoulia, nice dream about cleaning and decluttering! Sounds like a positive dream with simple meaning. I dreamed that my pastor was killing somebody by spraying her with a power washer that was cutting her in two. It was horrible, what the heck is that about?? I like my pastor...

I enjoyed reading all the updates today! And glad someone is reading mine. I had church this morning and then came home and Teen called and screamed at me on the phone (which they did yesterday and I hung up on them then). Today I tried to talk reason and listen but there is no rason with them so I let it go. It is very, very hard not to take that personally.

Aside from that, I got a coupon for home delivery of food, which is always a bad idea (but a great deal) so now I am full of crap food.

I had a wonderful time with Tot and the growing Acorn last night! I cooked an actual meal and we had a nice visit.

Today I have not done a lot, just a few phone calls and many texts and cleaned up my dog's puke, which I don't know why he puked, ugh, I hope he will be okay. I have a social group tonight I am going to that I will enjoy although "an object at rest tends to stay at rest" and if I was not going I would sit on this sofa til bedtime.

CM! I'm sorry for the struggle yet grateful to hear from you! I don't drive in the dark anymore. I stopped before I needed to. Highway driving is easy for me but the city driving with all the pedestrians and bicyclists is difficult. I am so fortunate to live where there is good public transportation. Everyone maligns our transportation system, naturally, but I think it's wonderful.

SubC if we find a way to speak privately, I'll let you know what I do for a living but I suspect you like having the mystery.

I dreamt about cleaning out stuff last night. My hoards and other people's. My character was even laughing about how much easier it is to clear other people's stuff. I think 5his means I need to get my act together here. Also I'm pretty pumped about hazardous waste day on Saturday.

It's dark and rainy here today. I don't feel like doing a thing. I just emailed my brother to see if he wants to go to dinner. It will be our first time eating together in more than four years. I have no idea what we will talk about. BF said I can take his car but I'll prefer the bus.

Have a good day, everyone! Be careful of the ice, CM.
Have to get over to mom's with some cat litter and change the little one's box. I also have some blouses to return.

I'm missing you ladies in my strange self imposed exile. 🥺 But later this week, I will know the outcome of the thing that I didn't feel like getting into until I knew more. And already it seems to be trending toward the hopeful. Either way, I'm going to break the silence.

This month has been hard in other ways too. Unexpected financial matters yet again, logistical hassles, and November is just never my best month, so I'm trying to figure out strategies to boost my mood and feel more hopeful.

It seems like life keeps throwing obstacles in the path of my efforts, though. Like, I was determined to get back into some exercise routine in this coming week, then yesterday the gal from the rabbit shelter insisted that we needed to schedule two days for doing their toenail trims. Which I agree is necessary but the timing was not good.

With the days so short now and me not accustomed yet to night driving especially through downtown which this would be, I ended up sacrificing two mornings - and I'd planned to go to the gym in the mornings so that it'd be daylight and not during the midafternoon school letting out and shift workers getting off work traffic which is of course the prelude to rush hour itself. Damned agoraphobia has been pesky lately and ironically I know a lot of the reason for that is lack of exercise and endorphins! Talk about a Catch-22! 🙄

Well, maybe I can go walking with my roommate when she takes her dog. It would be something at least.

Clutter clearing has been at a snail's pace still, but the times I get something entered in from one of my little scraps of scribbled notes and can discard the scrap, is very gratifying. My computer is so responsive and quick to boot up at a moment's notice, and doesn't crash or lag, which makes all this process delightfully easier.

Tatoulia, I'd love to show you, but I have no idea how.

Sometimes they put photos up on Instagram or Facebook during the sale. If the pigs make it, I'll try to post how to look.

I'm sorry about mom and the stealing. It doesn't help her to reinforce her delusions! Hopefully your sister will stop.

I am fascinated by your mystery job - lol!

I don't know what I will get up to today - still trying to pack too much in every day, but also starting to have a sense of progress.

(Which usually means I've dropped a ball and can't se it rolling toward the cliff...)

But maybe this time will be different. I'm always hopeful. It's good that Dh is home because it's cold and dark and damp outside with lumps of snow falling from the trees from yesterday. - temp dropping again so the ground will be ice by nightfall.

I would love to see a picture of the pigs, SubC. I have a friend who calls me pig. I call her cow. It's ridiculous.

Busy couple of days. Spending time with BF. Yesterday we went with friends and their kids to the MFA, which has become something of a Veterans' Day ritual for us. But this year BF could join us. Then last night we went to a play with some of BF's friends. Today started harshly because not only did mom accuse me of stealing while she was at breakfast, my sister reinforced my thievery and said she would give me a stern talking-to. I told mom that I didn't steal a thing from her which then she said, then where did you put my stuff. The only time I could get her to believe that I didn't lie in wait for her to go to breakfast was when I told her, I'm not even up early. I've been late to work every day of my life. Every day. And then she backed off a bit.

Turns out she thought I stole the handle to open the recliner. No, the recliner doesn't have a handles it's electric and you press a button. So this is where we are now. I did tell my sister to cut it out.

I did two loads of laundry today. BF and I went to the cemetery to clean off our friends's graves and just walk around. Then we did a little bit of grocery shopping and stopped by mom's.

Lila, you are getting a lot done. The picking up of the poop sounds terrible. (Says the person who cleans litter boxes three times a week). I'm glad you found a way to resist dumpster diving. And good work today, SubC! Important to resist!

I have a lot to do tomorrow. I can't believe it's Sunday already. My mind is in Thanksgiving mode. I have two big presentations at work next week and it's hard because my new manager isn't invested in me or my work. But she'll get there. She's smart and competent. My work is a bit off the beaten path and I think she has trouble relating to what I and my unit do.

Hi Lila!

I've been enjoying the Lila show, but haven't had time to post. I've been making flying pig ornaments and throwing pots.

You've been doing really well. I hope you're getting rewarded with some fun time with tot and acorn!

The yard sounds like an awful job! I'm glad some of it was one and done.

Teen is wearing something. Unless you can get identical duplicates of whatever that is, I wouldn't buy more clothes. If there are options that fit, just keep offering the selection.

Today was that take away day. I didn't go. Not just because Dh was home, but because it was cold and wet and snowy and I didn't want to drive. And also because making my pigs was more important to me.

Good choices.