Good Late Afternoon/Early Evening

Been a nice easy day today.
Weather is good. No wind, some clouds but warmed up this afternoon.

Did some hand sewing, alteration.
Brushed a huge pile of fuzz off Twinkles.
Ate off & on.
Kitchen is clean.
Did litter boxes, washed cat dishes, put out fresh water & dry food.
Fell asleep by 9pm last night and got up about 6am so I am very well rested.
Looking forward to not having to go anywhere for at least a week. 🙂

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
You all are in my prayers every day (((HUG)))

I like the latest frog pic you posted.
No negative self talk.

Maybe you could find some small little decluttering/organizing project to do while roommate is gone?
Something that could be wrapped up in a few hours and doesn't involve a lot of different parts.

Have fun at the bunny club tomorrow.
Happy you stayed inside and didn't take any chances going out in that sloppy weather.

Flyby

Roommate headed to see her family 3 hrs away and I have the conn. Dog went with her so it's cats, bunnies, fish, and frog.

Bunny club get-together tomorrow. Mass tonight so I can take my time in the morning getting ready for the bunny club! LOL

Want to do some huge organizing thing but that has not worked well in the past when she is only gone 1 or 2 nights.

I think I've been having some SAD, too. Didn't make it to the gym this week because of very cold sloppy weather and other contingencies. But next week looks promising.

Trying to stay positive. Asked some people to pray for me. Praying for me. Praying for other people. That's how it works...

Hope you all had a Happy Valentine's Day yesterday.

Good Morning Everybody

Hi Subclinical
So glad the boy attended his classes 🙂

WTG! catching up on the latest slang! My slang is a bit outdated. 😉
Your classes are so much fun!!!
Would love to see the "puppet" kids too.
Have a great and productive day staying nestled inside where it's warm.

The mornings here have been bitterly cold but by afternoon it's pleasantly warm out, almost 60 degrees.
Today I need to clean the kitchen. Yesterday I did some food prep & cooking, ate and then was too tired to clean up.
At least today I have food all made up ready to eat in the fridge.
Sautéed mushrooms, raw cauliflower flowerets, sweet potatoes and cucumber slices marinated in home made Italian dressing.

I had a great day with my "pioneers" We made mason bee houses and sampled varieties of honey and dipped candles. And the teens were able to do this with minimal instruction so they filled the silence trying to teach me slang. My puppet kids are ready for "dress rehearsal" and performance next week. And I was exhausted.

I slept almost nine hours last night, so I'm back to tired, but still have a lot to do today. It's 15 degrees out, so I will be huddling inside with my lesson plans and papers and later my home studio and clay. I also desperately need to get my seed order out.

The boy from my class doesn't have me on Fridays and I missed seeing him, but I checked with another teacher and he was present and seemed fine. She was bewildered about why I would ask, but i just said "he didn't share anything?" And she said "no." And is the type to respect the students privacy, so I just said "just be gentle with him." Which was really unnecessary because "gentle" would be one if her primary descriptors.

Tillie, I think that if you have a financial poa, you don't have to have your name on the account. In any case, wishing you all the raspberry jam!

Good Evening Everyone

Hope you all had a GREAT day today. 😀

Think I will sleep well tonight.
Last night I tossed and turned all night and woke up at around 4am & couldn't get any more sleep.
This has been a very hectic and trying week but it's all good. 🙂

Good Afternoon Everyone

Just 1pm here.
Been resting and doing a few tasks around here.

Went and had my phone conference with social security at 9am.
Have another one scheduled for March 3rd.
But at least it's all started now.

Even if I don't get social security because Steven has my name on the checking account where his pension funds are deposited I WILL be getting a medicade card and food stamp card in the mail soon.
Steven put my name on that so I can pay bills when/if he is hospitalized since I am his medical and financial POA.

If I get anything more, that will just be tons of icing on an already lovely cake, the kind of cake that has raspberry jam between the layers. ;D

Happy Valentines Day

Just a quick drive by to say I am up and awake and getting ready to go to my appointment.
Have all my paperwork together.

Hi Subclinical
Have a great day today!
My fingers are crossed that that kid comes to your class today. X

Yay Tillie!

I am so glad you got him to sign the papers!

Didn't swim.

Dd cancelled to spend time with her dh who is struggling with SAD, and in my reply to her I mentioned that the lighting at the clay studio is really good.

The lighting at the pool is really bad and I know this might not make sense, but being wet in the evening is hard on me.

So I decided to take my swim time to go down to the studio and roll out some slabs. Loaded them on the car and brought them home to work on this weekend. I feel a little more "together" for having done it.

I still did yoga 3x this week and swam once.

Finding balance is really hard.

Some days not screaming is really hard too. Yesterday I found out another student had a youth suicide attempt in his family this week.

I assigned reading homework. I wanted to take this kid aside and say "hey, forget the reading. Your homework is to take a shower, eat something with vegetables, and talk to any responsible adult about what you are feeling." Instead I am hoping he comes to school again today and I get a chance to ask how he's doing. He came yesterday for only my class.

Finally...

Got him to sign the papers.
Had to endure an awful lot of verbal abuse though.
He was very angry that he needed to do something for me.
I do believe by what he said that he resents me getting anything for myself.
That it has been so easy for me to find answers and assistance.

He gets ALL his information from his "friend" who obviously only gives out uneducated ignorant advice.

Steven is in terrible shape.
His hands tremor terribly all the time, especially when he tries to write.
Wish he would go back for his follow up check ups at the neurologist.
Hand tremors was one of his brain tumor symptoms.
But he will not listen to me or the neurologist.

Good Morning Everybody

Hi Subclinical
WTG! Mr. Kitty!!!

So happy you were making good choices about what to do and trying to not do too much in a day. (((HUG)))

Have a great day today and a wonderful afternoon/evening swimming and out to dinner. 😀

Hi CriticalMass
It is fun visualizing houses, even though we never actually are there.

Please do go to your senior and community place.
I had no idea so much was available and how they could answer so many of my questions.

Stay safe and warm with this latest weather. (((hug)))

Hi Tatoulia
How wonderful Mom's aide is there!!! 😀
I know that cats will tell you the can food is a necessity but actually it's not.
Dry food and water is all that most cats ever get. 😉
That chair can wait.
Wishing you pleasant days going in to work. (((hug)))

Still can't believe that I will actually be getting this help.
Social security has it set up that they won't make seniors travel 150+ miles round trip to Carson City.
That's why tomorrow I will have a conference call with the main office at the senior center.
The lady here is an authorized agent.

I have two papers that Steven needs to sign for me to turn in tomorrow and he still has not signed them. >:(
So all day today I get to keep asking him to sign them, butthead.

Once I finish with my paper work tomorrow I will get my last will and advanced directives finalized & notarized.
It's been such a whirlwind experience this week for me. 😀

Everything I am accomplishing is directly due to my practicing the Gentle Art Of Swedish * Cleaning.
Getting out there and tying up loose ends.
And it feels so good! And such weight is lifting from my spirit. 🙂

Oh Tillie! That is so good! What a nice place to go when you need a break from the house! And goodies! And It would be lovely if you could go see a doctor and they could actually help you feel better!

Are you sure you want Steven to go? I don't want him to mess up your new lovely place with his awfulness.

Tatoulia, so much progress at your mom's! Between the aides and the cleaning fairies you may just learn how to relax sometimes! So happy for both of you! Don't worry about the chair yet, and I hope things with BF settle down quickly. I hate it when Dh and I are out if sorts.

Mr. kitty gets treats sometimes, but otherwise he only gets cereal. If he wants "wet food" he has to catch it himself. Yesterday he brought me another rat and I gave him special kitty treats and told him he was wonderful.

CM, stay warm. We are holding your hand so you can face thinking about your big scary job idea. I know you can do it when you are ready. It would be great if you found a place like Tillle's. Meanwhile, you have been doing well with your shelves.

I got through yesterday. Didn't do most of my class prep, so that will be this morning. Also didn't have time to squeeze in the grocery stop or some of the things I wanted to do at lunch, but it was ok in general. I made good choices about which things to do and not trying to do too much.

Another full day today. Dinner out with dh tonight to look forward to after swimming. Time to get moving!

Quick check in for now

SubC, hope the seminar was inspiring. Sounds like you're holding your own even though busy.

Tatoulia, you're doing amazing things with your mom. I fear my own clutter gets to that point despite my best efforts. But I promise to keep on picking away at it.

Your idea of having her look at photos of happy surroundings makes me realize I should do that some more, as it has been helpful in the past for goal setting.

I have actually been looking at books and websites of house plans as a way of unwinding, and it's research for a novel about a blended family where the father has one daughter and the mother has four children, three if whom still will live at home for awhile. How they adjust to the big changes, new relationships, etc. I wanted to be able to have a visual of their home!

The downside of doing this is that it increases my longing for a place of my own, but it's still fun.

Tillie, I'm so happy for you finding that great senior place to get your retirement ducks lined up in a row! I bet the relief and interest will soon help dampen the initial anxiety. You've already taken the big steps, steady as she goes. This will improve your quality of life, and Steven's too if he will go, but one hurdle at a time.

I need to go to our senior place and possibly this other community place at some point; at least I've been attempting to discern where and with what goals in mind. Wondering about bringing in income.

It's a Huge Scary Thing, wondering about a JOB maybe. I don't even want to say too much about the idea just now. I want to explore and get practical advice about how any such thing would jibe with my disability status.

We had snow here today that was wet and pretty, and had been melting off, though later a north wind came in which is predicted to send temps plummeting possibly to single digits. Ick. Had no trouble persuading kitty to sleep with me though. Monday I'd done a bunch of laundry. He likes my minky blanket for making biscuits on. It must remind him of his momma's tummy.

Tillie! What is this magical place you've discovered? So great! Yay for Medicare and all the other things! Social security may make you go there to sign up. I am so happy about all of this!!!! So great that you can get some assistance!! Yay you for doing this!!!!

Well mom's aide took all the sheets and towels out and washed them and folded them today. I only have to work on the top and bottom shelves. The rest is perfect! I'll post a picture. She's still not feeding the cat and mom doesn't know how to ask her (my mother is very shy). So I left out a can, a paper plate and a spoon.

My mother's place looks so neat! I cannot wait to get the cleaners there next week for a good a scrubbing!

I haven't arranged for the chair's removal. Too busy and preoccupied. I have to go to office tmr and Friday so I'll figure it out over the weekend.

Tillie I am so proud of your courage and I pray this works out! You are my hero!

Ps kitty is doing fine with her water and cereal. I fed her wet food and she was happy but she's such a little angel, no complaints about the dry food at all.

Oh yeah,
they have one day each month called birthday day for anyone with a birthday in that month.
Today was birthday day, along with lunch they served birthday cake and ice cream.
AND they had a live band and it was pretty good.

Good Evening Everyone

Hi Tatoulia
Sorry you have a rough patch with BF (((HUG)))

So happy about Mom's morning aide!
As long as Kitty has her cereal and water she will be alright until you can treat her to the canned stuff.

Went to the senior center this morning.
When I returned home Steven had messed up internet connection while connecting things for his desk top computer.
Just now I got back online.

Anyways...
She said I will get medicade that will pay for everything.
Doctors, tests, medicine, surgeries, dental, vision, hearing, EVERYTHING and there will be no co-pay or whatever from me.
That I will get lots from food stamps.
She said I will get reduced electric rates.
I have a 9am appointment Friday with her to do a phone conference with social security to find out what I may get from that.
Honestly, I am in shock, disbelief.
I'll believe it when I see it.

Still didn't have lunch there. Today was roast beef.
Found out they have a food give away last Thursday of every month there.
You drive up and they put stuff right in your car.
Different stuff than the food bank, maybe government cheese?
They also have free tax preparers.
Exercise classes, arts & crafts, nutrition help and so much more.
A table to put items for anyone to take for free like today was jeans, a jigsaw puzzle, a pencil puzzle book and a bag of cotton balls.
It's like I found a treasure chest full of all sorts of lovely things at the senior center.
Steven is very resistant to going there but I'll keep working on him.

Tillie!!! Wtg! I am so proud of you! Courage! Strength! Great work!!! Very proud and how wonderful you knew a few people, too!

Mom has a morning aide and she got a nice shower yesterday. The aide folded and stacked all the treasures hanging around mom's house and it's helping me with mom. I walked home from work last night and went straight to mom's. We finished our dinner from the night before and I fed the cat. Mom didn't know how to ask her aide to feed the cat and although she hadn't eaten in the canned food sense, she had eaten about half of her cereal.

Mom said the three magazines I gave her didn't really have any rooms so I'll pick three more from her pile to look at. I just need her looking at pretty and clear spaces as I make her place livable.

Today is the day I'm supposed to get mom's chair, etc our big I don't have it in me to do organization for her today. I'm beat. Things are a little rocky with BF now too so that's not helping. I hate to put that in writing.

SubC I hope you are having a great day!!! It is sunny here and I'm not sure if the temperature but I'll go for my walk at five to visit mom and maybe run an errand or two.

Thank You Subclinical 😀

Have a great and busy day today.

7:30am and I am up & having tea.
Tossed and turned all night, have a slight headache but I WILL be going today!!! :O

She is lovely inside and out!

I have a full day today. Leave at 8, some setup and then classes until 4:30 with a 45 minute lunch break I have too much planned for, free seminar at the clay studio until 6:30 (if I get out of my classroom fast enough I might even sneak in a quick grocery stop) then an hour drive home to chores and prep for tomorrow.

Tillie has a full day too! Be brave Tillie! We are with you, and even if they don't know it, the cats will be happy if you have the things too!

Good Evening Everybody
Just 9pm here now.

Hi Subclinical
"Busy, tired, but doing ok."
YEA! 🙂

That's your Mom?!!!
She's lovely! 😀
Will try to revisit if I can borrow Steven's computer for a minute to run the video.

Right now I am planning on going tomorrow.
I keep trying to make up excuses and imagining all sorts of terrible scenarios if I do go.
But I am trying hard to keep my big girl panties on and not in a twist.
Have my clothes selected and set out.
Explained to the cats why I need to leave them.
Plan to be there by 10am.
"I will do this, I will do this, I WILL DO THIS"...

Oh Tillie, please go to the senior center soon if not tomorrow! I want you to have all the things!

We are proud of you for being brave!

If you go to the video but don't click play, I think you see a picture of my mom. She's wearing a purple shirt. The still is not a very good picture because in real life she is almost always smiling.

Tatoulia, I also laughed about the silverware!

Busy, tired, but doing ok.

Good Afternoon Everyone

LOL Tatoulia ;D

Well...
This morning I did something so very terrifying!
But it all worked out ok.

Went to the senior center!!!
Never been there before and was so very terrified going some place unfamiliar.

The people were very nice friendly and helpful.
I now have the advance directive and last will papers to fill out.

They want me to return tomorrow (Wednesday) because there are people there who will help you get social security, medicade and all other sorts of things.
I don't have any of those things.

They have daily free lunch for anybody 60+ and wanted me to join in but I was too nervous to eat anyway.

There were some people there that I already know from my thrift shop visits.

Now I just have to get up the courage to go back there tomorrow or any other Wednesday.
Wish me luck. 😉

Is there anything you can dress up in silverware costumes so he'll throw it out?

Thank you Tatoulia 🙂

Just a heads up...
I have had a very hard time trying to get Steven to stop tossing the silverware into the trash can.
😉

Beautiful day for line drying laundry.
Soon as I get off the computer I will go bring it in and put it away.
It will smell so good.

https://www.nvsos.gov/sos/online-services/nevada-lockbox/about-advance-directive-registry

Tillie this should be helpful.

There are other directives you can get, Tillie, such as directives as to what to do if you are incapacitated. I've signed one that basically says go ahead and do things even if it hastens my death. But I won't let them leave me thirsty. I still want fluids. (I drink a huge amount of water each day). Be sure to send Mr Nate a copy of whatever you sign. I can take a look at the directives in NV for you and let you know what might be best.

Fantastic idea on the trash can, Tillie! Honestly that would make a huge difference! Easily done!

I was there only for a minute. Fed kitty, brought her a bunnykins porridge bowl and filled it with dry food. Gave her a can of fancy feast. I handed mom three magazines with instructions to show me the aesthetic that makes her feel calm and peaceful and serene and I'll recreate the feeling in her home.

I haven't read your longer post as I have training the afternoon. Thank you so much! The waste basket is a great idea!

Someone is coming to meet mom this afternoon. I don't know if it's the morning person or the afternoon person.

Tatoulia
We cross posted

(((HUGS))) I really feel for you.
You are doing great fighting an uphill battle.
BF is right. Sneak out some long lost items, she won't notice.
So glad you cancelled that cell phone!
And never let that person who does her meds quit.
Have you placed a small trash can near her chair?
She might use it.
Something brightly colored?

Hang in there 🙂

Good Morning

Hi Subclinical
Hope you can find a good balance for yourself.
Just the right amount of have-tos and commitments and time enough that's just for you to rest and play.
Sorry I haven't seen the video yet. My laptop freezes and crashes whenever I try to play videos.

Thanks Tatoulia for that info.
Tried to get the DNR form from the hospital here, they refused to give it to me and stated they do NOT honor DNRs which is why I want something durable enough to sue if they ever revive me.
Did you have any luck finding a tv table?
Great someone will be giving your Mom her daily meds and hopefully she will get every dose and on time too.

Have laundry to hang out this morning but waiting until the temp gets a little higher.

Great work, SubC!

I'm puttering around my house today. I did a lot at mom's last night. It was a struggle but I did it. She's very upset that I'm cleaning and clearing. There isn't even one chair for someone to sit it because there's stuff piled high everywhere. It's really terrible. We bought her two new pieces at the consignment shop. One is a small chest of drawers that we put next to her recliner. It is perfect height and size. I removed the tiny high table she's been using. I cleaned out it's one drawer (all junk) and organized her new chest. The bottom drawer looks like it's two drawers but it's one deep drawer. I put her bags of knitting projects in it (generally on the floor and covered in garbage). The top drawer, I very neatly laid out her stationery, her pens, one small pair of scissors and that's it.

'm now storing the cat food cans in the other cleaned out kitchen drawer. She usually had those stacked in front of the microwave, meaning they had to be moved to use it.

I got frustrated because she wouldn't even let me donate a paperback copy of Jane Eyre. She's going to read it again. Along with 40-50 other books. She has extremely low vision. She cannot see the pages. I did tell her that I realize she wants people to know that she's educated and cultured but it's lost in the clutter. On the floor. With paper plates and water bottles on top of it.

I'm frustrated with it. I'm embarrassed when the aides come in because it's a reflection on me. There isn't one chair to sit on. She tries to poke holes in my insistence that her place is a mess by pointing out one small area that I had just cleaned. I found her heated massager yesterday and she said she had been looking for it. And I said okay so this goes into the bathroom, right? And she was aggravated but agreed.

Once she's mobile again, she'll tear the place apart, looking for this thing or that thing. After I cleaned and cleared her main closet around Christmas, she said she wanted to see her sheet music and made me pull it out. I know she'll tear the place apart if she gets mobile again.

My new tactic for today is I need her to go through me of the many designer decorating magazines and to show me pictures of rooms she likes. Then I will work towards making her room look like that.

I am not giving up. She may have but I haven't.

The tv stand I bought her is still in my car. I need other things to happen before I can bring it in.

I need the upholstered chair removed. She claims she knows three different people who want it. I said great, I'm having it removed and they can retrieve it from wherever the person puts it. Then I'll be able to bring her chair that's here (the one I wanted because it reminded me of my dad) up to her place.

She has been slightly better because she's having her meals delivered and she's eating them. Last night when the medication person came in, the person asked if I wanted to give her the meds. I said no, she won't take them for me. She also told me that once she's walking again, she'll go back to taking her own meds. Nope.

I am fighting for her and I know that I'm doing this for the right reasons. BF told me to just sneak out one thing a day. I did get a big bag of garbage out last night. Oh, and I canceled her cell phone. She doesn't use it, it's never charged, she can't see it, etc, but she's been automatically paying $25 a month for it because she thinks she needs it. Meanwhile I'm stuck with her $700 phone/ internet bill.

At one point last night I told her, you should let me "buy" $700 worth of your stuff.

I can't pretend to be borrowing her books because she will really bug me about returning them.