Steven and I have been together since 1984.
Together we went through losing my son, a major devastating flood, the loss of our dear Grandmothers, the murder of his brother and many other hard times.
Then I became very ill and was unable to work.
He became abusive, killed my cat and cheated on me.
He told terrible lies about me to all my friends and those who believed his lies I "unfriended".
Which is why I have no friends any longer.
I would have left but I was/am unable to work due to my medical condition and by moving out I would have been homeless.
So it has been a lot like that movie "War Of The Roses" where we both continue to live in the house separately while openly loathing each other.
I do not cook for him or do his laundry or ever even touch him.
Since he cheated I have considered him unclean, disgusting and contaminated with all manner of diseases.
It has been well over twenty years and now it's just a wait and see as to who dies first.
With no medical insurance or medical care, I really hope it's me. :D

I'm so glad I posted about my SIL.
After sleeping on it , and reading the replies.
I know I control my impulsuses and any reward would not worth an aftermath of it were found out.

She's just one of those people I don't avoid, and am Vlad when she gets close. However if I keep it innocent then no one gets hurts.

When my dad was found out when I was 14, my mom was very hurt. And the way they tried to hurt eachother in court only hurt themselves and me. My older brothers left into separate to they could barely afford. And I was stuck living in a 5 bed room house with no furniture's except my room.

Dad would come once a week with food. But my brother would come and eat alot of it. Living there was empty house , my friends would come late Friday's and Saturday's and drunk stoned and whatever else they wanted. I started to see how drugs and alcohol affect good judgement. So I never felt the need to buy any for myself. Just if it was being shared. And I never did anything worse than pot or alcohol, except when a friend put acid on a piece of candy. I Hated it , with a capital H.
I eventually returned to my boyhood. Which was spent wondering a large wooded area where a creek went through the outskirts of a large city.
As a boy a fish, my friends and would build forts, and shelters , and hunting blinds. When the house was sold , I sent to my grand mother's, but she died withing a month of my living there. I was almost 17 . I started living in the woods . But would still go to school . And when winter came I lived in abandoned houses. Near the school. Using firewood from the woods in the fireplaces. I was never caught. Even though my dad was giving my mom money for keeping me , she be never told my dad she didn't know where I was. I finally dropped out of high school . And didn't my GED until my second marriage.


Before my grandmother died. She was talkings to my mom on the phone and my mom was having anxiety attack. My grandmother said they all cheat , all men cheat. After the phone call I made a promise to my grandmother that I would never cheat on my wife. I was thinking I would never hurt someone I took a vow to god that I wouldn't be with someone else I am married to. So after writing to you guys and getting feed back, I'm reminded of something like a passionate moment can cause a lifetime of pain.
I feel very strong now about it, even if she laid in front of me begging , lol, I would not allow my wife or child be hurt by that. So I will keep the flirting to just smiles and compliments.

Today I'm mowing the yard for the last time.
Moving as much to the porch and the room by the door were moving out of. And clearing the upstairs of everything. And making repairs to nail holes and any other repairs.

Sunday , I'll just keep organizing it so just flows out room by room. The new place is only 1.2 miles away , so I'm renting a $20 a day uhaul box van I have nothing bigger than that.


Leaving the sectional couch half there and half here. So there is a place to sit at either house.


Here's the hoarder thing.
In my current house. I have no garage, attic , or basement. At the new place there is no garage , or attic. But the basement is as large as first floor.
So there is opportunity to keep all hoarding clutter down there as an orgasization wall of photographed tubs and containers.

So the living spaces will be cleared .
And there are closets in everyroom.

We selected thus house based on pro and cons.

PROS.

. I can afford this house. And my car on my pay earnings without assistance.

. Has shower and bath on same floor as my wife's bedroom.

. Only 3 steps up from where her car parks.
. Has air-conditioning.
. All electric.
. Positions half way between high school and work.
. On a major bus route.
. 1minute away from highway on ramp .
. 1 minute from largest supermarket in city.
. Not on busy street or where cars can speed.
. Broadband hook up or satalite.
. Ceiling fans in each room.
. Upstairs has 3 small bedroom 1 room will be a music room for daughter and her friends.


. I personally will make my room basically a guest room. For when mother in law comes. And sleep on couch the long sectional. My wife calls out for help alot need help out if her bed or cramps. So if in speaking distance , isn't as disturbing as running down stairs to help her. Plus daughter has three friends that stay with her regularly. That's four people. Plus a mother in law.
They can stay upstairs. .
Even the basement is large enough for an air mattress. .

The basement is a large open room. With only a few supporting walls.
Washer and dryer in the basement.
I plan to take all my cabinets and counters that did not belong to the old house to the new basement.
And put as many counters in the basement as possible.

It's a little damp, but I'm sure I can find the leaks and address them . And buy a dehumidifier and keep the place dry as bone.

So what little space I lose buy not having a personal bedroom , I gain by having an organized basement with enough work space to play with my creative outlets like rammed earthouse and hydrogen flying bicycles without having to put them away.

CONS.

No dishwasher hook up. Almost a deal breaker!


SO IM I'm looking forward to see if it all fits .
The hoarding clutter , in the house without being in the common areas.
I told my wife I will keep her hoard in the basement and manage it the same way I did when it was in storage.

Whatever doesn't fit I moving to the storage.
The than at storagecis to sell it all. Or donate it. Keep the money in a CD deposit account , so I can buy replace money for replacement items .in a two year 6% cycle. And buy from the sold items manifest as needed used from LETGO or other used item sites.

Feeling very positive.

Hi porter, that sounds rough! I don't know you well enough to really offer advice, but just an idea - could you buddy up teenage daughter and sis in law during the move?

Anonymoniker, I'm a gardener too. We've had a lot of rain, but I'm hoping to get done work done this weekend.

Wow Tillie, you guys must have a really strong relationship! I thought dh and I were solid, but I think he would leave.

Tatoulia, your closet sounds lovely! I'm glad you had a good trip.

I got ahead on the paper again. Up one gallon of milk for the day, kitchen is a little messy, but just dishes messy. I am not a dried/spoiled food dishes piled around hoarder - just a lazy housewife who often doesn't unload the dishwasher until there is a whole new load in the sink and on the counter (rinsed). Rarely does anyone else who lives here do dishes.

I have hurt my ankle and am hobbling around. I don't remember doing it, but it is swollen and hot (and sore)

Hi porter, that sounds rough! I don't know you well enough to really offer advice, but just an idea - could you buddy up teenage daughter and sis in law during the move?

Anonymoniker, I'm a gardener too. We've had a lot of rain, but I'm hoping to get done work done this weekend.

Wow Tillie, you guys must have a really strong relationship! I thought dh and I were solid, but I think he would leave.

Tatoulia, your closet sounds lovely! I'm glad you had a good trip.

I got ahead on the paper again. Up one gallon of milk for the day, kitchen is a little messy, but just dishes messy. I am not a dried/spoiled food dishes piled around hoarder - just a lazy housewife who often doesn't unload the dishwasher until there is a whole new load in the sink and on the counter (rinsed). Rarely does anyone else who lives here do dishes.

I have hurt my ankle and am hobbling around. I don't remember doing it, but it is swollen and hot (and sore)

Hello everyone I'm home from my overnight trip. Kitty held together just fine.

It was good to come home to a clearer house. I said clear not clean. I've cleared out quite a bit and need to keep the momentum this weekend.

I have some artwork that I'm not currently hanging and I am going to have to look deep into my soul about. I got rid of 5 pieces recently. There are a few that I am not ready to give up. I may postpone a decision til my decorator is here. I might also just find closet space for now. I am not ready to say goodbye.

Earlier this week I worked on my dining room closet. The closet has wonderful shelves and filing cabinets--California Closets designed and made it for me. I have mom's china , among other things, on the shelves. I did organize two of the china shelves better and it freed up some space. in the room, where I have my bookshelves, I started cleaning and clearing the top of the bookshelves and it looks so much nicer without stuff on top. I'll finish that up and get to dusting over the weekend.

I want to keep plowing ahead. I want to make the tough choices and let things go. And with your help, I will.

Hi Anonymoniker :)
My plan was to get this first pot started and when it was about <5> inches tall start the next batch.
The pot was on the sunny window sill that the cats never sit on because I made the better sunny window sill 8 inches deep to accommodate their fat fuzzy butts.
This time I will try placing one of those mesh/net dome type covers that are for keeping flies off picnic foods over it.

Porter,
You are in a very vulnerable state right now.
Your Wife's illness, your growing up teenage daughter, being forced to move and all the other trials & tribulations you are going through.
Any kind of dalliance would unnecessarily complicate everything for you.
You still need a lot of time to come to grips with the hand life has already dealt to you.
Mentally and emotionally you will not be ready for any kind of new relationship for at least two years after your Wife passes.
Please take your own wellbeing to heart and make sure to nip any advances in the bud.

Sincerely, Tillie (((HUGS)))

Porter, by 'transitions to the next place', i meant to Heaven, not the next house.

Wow, Porter, that would be very challenging to ignore. I have little experience in long term monogamy or marriage. The only monogamous relationship ive had for 27 years has been with my cartner(my 90 Toyota), but i actually had a few brief truck affairs in that time. I would think that would be like entering a hornet nest. Itd seem it could easily derail your efforts & momentum, as well as feeling good about yourself. At worst it could blow up everything in your life in a horrid way, at best yall could fall in love & live happily ever after. I dont blame you for considering taking that risk. If it were me i think id make a pact with myself to keep it at innocent flirting....at least until things change, meaning your daughter is well into college & adulthood, & your wife transitions to the next place.
Its funny how much the posts on this thread actually could just as easily be written by a group of clean freaks! ha ha I was thinking how the few worse-than-me-hoarders i know in real life have made me want to improve my place more than anyone....that is strange...ha ha
I have been working on my new garden & im really excited about it! Once it gets too hot ill work on the mess inside!
Tillie, what i did on my boat was i had 2 kitty grass containers that i staggered in growth stages so my cat always had one, while the new one could get more established. ~☆♡☆~

OK I hesitate to talk about this.
But if it doesn't kill me ornate make me stronger.

My sister's law has agreed to come help move.
Not my wife's sister. But my wife's step brother's wife. She looks exactly like the woman I fell in love with and got away. Not assuming everyone everyone has someone they couldn't say no to.
But I have a difficult time saying no to her.
She's caught me looking at her and checking her out. And she's been very touchy feely ever since.
And we'll if I go on I'll embarrass myself. But she exposes herself to me, and I've struggled to look away . Doors left open and the little things that add up to trouble making.

Nothing's ever happened, and nothing will happen as ling as my wife lives. The thing is she's the only one willing to help, as my plan for helping buddies for each isn't wife, teenager, and myself has fell on bad timing.

She used to be severely obese and had bariatric
Surgery. For whatever reason, I was very complimentary to her as she lost weight. Without realizing what that might mean to her. I've never been shy around her at family gatherings as we're sort of the odd ones and we tend to gather up all the kids with us and give the family time to talk .

It's known that her and her husband have an open marriage. I have been able to resist her advances. As I prefer monogamy so my home doesn't turn into a turmoil of betrayal and mistrust.

I'm not sure if talking about here is the right place, or appropriate. But I swear the problem is that she looks exactly like an unrequited love I lost. How do I put it. I don't realize I'm staring at her twitterpated. And she gushes. She has invited my daughter and I to live with them after my passes. And bought a house to accommodate us in advance even though is said no , but find myself thinking about saying yes, but I'm not looking ahead, I made a vow to my wife and to god, but she tempts me. Her husband jokes about the open marriage thing, but my first wife , wanted that, when said no, she did it anyway, fell in love , and I had to end our marriage. Though I loved her.

Well be spending many hours alone together in private secluded places. If something happens I'll hate myself , as I've never cheated , not in my first or second Marriage. No cheating in 27 years.

I think I'm just making it into something that it isn't.


I'm hoping to get some feed back from each of you, because I think I need some perspective.

Hi everybody!

Porter, I just got here. I've Ben trying to get everyone straight in my head. I'm sorry you are struggling with so much pain. It sounds like you have found a hour system to control and limit the clutter.

I hate moving. We used to do it lot and I always thought I would clean out but ended up throwing so much in random boxes at then end. The last move was the worst. I hope your move goes smoothly.

I bought bins and a storage rack for my basement, but I don't have everything organized on it yet. All my "scrapbook" stuff is still in cardboard boxes and isn't supposed to be on the rack anyway.

Dh and I have been working on the house. We are building on a great room which will be open floor plan kitchen/dining/living room so that our growing (adding kids spouses, hopefully someday grand Kids) family can gather. Dh designed it with minimal storage to keep it clean and open - lots of windows for my SAD, but they go too low to put shelves under them.

I get frustrated though, because every step involves me removing things from a space, then something happening to the space that reduces the available storage (son's room got two windows and a queen sized bed. It is now the guest room and has no space for a dresser, shelf and desk that were in there.) So even as the hoard gets smaller, the mess gets worse.

My kitchen is messy this morning, but just dishes. I also got the mail and still need to get rid of 3 sheets of paper to be "ahead".

I didn't wash the bins, so they are staying here all weekend.

I did make cheese, so the milk backlog is better but not fixed.

This is getting long, so I will talk about the food issues another time/place.

Today: teaching, more recycling to drop off, catch back up on kitchen, more out than in.

Hi
In the middle of the storm here.
Can't stay, can't move. Ugh!

I've missed alot of reading,
Hi SubC

I haven't read anything and missed your joining in on the thread, hope you are well,


I've added a new function to my management of tubs and boxes.
What currently due is limit the number of of boxes to take up 1 large wall per person in the house.
Along the line of a little mess is OK , but alot of mess is unacceptable.
Any wall of tubs must be able to be inspected and able to trap insects or rodents at a moment's notice.
All tubs must be lable , , layered with only 1 layer nothing Inside overlapping. All tubs must be photographed and those photos viewable on the TV.
A manifest , in alphabetical and or numerical order. Tubs must be Inspected in the spring and fall, with time change for daylight savings .

And what I'm adding is tubs that are given a purge date. So I can purge tubs and not just keep storing what I hoard. If I don't open tubs in a full year. I'll sell it. And keep the money in a special CD account . I'll keep a manifest of what I sold, and if I ever need it again , I'll search for it on sites like let go , when the deposits mature.

This way I have the space, and the money. So if I purged it by selling , I can rebuy without as much trouble as trying to manage storing.
Whatever doesn't sell I'll donate for for taxes.

Right now I have 17 tubs filled with clutter all pieces the size of a large softball or smaller.
Though I tried to keep everything in single layers or in containers inside of totes. Some of just fits better all just dumped in a tub like a pile of treasure in chest. And that's where having the inventory and manifest is helpful. I can also match pricing on the sites like LETGO. So I know what it's worth and it's easier than having garage sales in my opinion.
I was able to trade a gas stove for dishwasher . And OMG, did that make me happy. Something large that I was hoarding for 6 years unused. Trade for something I really needed. I still wash the dishes by hand just before eating off them , but the dishwasher offers a way to keep food from drying on plates , or allowing other I live with to simply put plates filled with food wastes, in the sink filled with water. I mean yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk.
I hate it. I don't mind doing dishes.
But I hate walking into the sink and finding plates that have to scrubbed out with scratch pads day after day. Since my wife became ill. I was told to step up. Well let's see. I mow grass, take out trash, clean toilets,sinks , and showers, mop floors, sweep carpets, porches, and cars. Wash all laundry, and prompt teenager to put laundry away,
I shop, cook , purge the fridge, clean microwave and stove, make bill payments and keep the checking register, trap and dispose of mice, Chane out light bulbs, and managed the hoarding, and schedule visitation and healthcare, as well as drive friends of the teenager, to here there and everywhere.

It would be nice if they could simply scrape thief uneaten food out of their plated before putting them in the sinks and filling with water. Ugh!
Rant over.

I feel better. Sometimes I just need to let it out , and not always to people that are doing it as tend to get Curt instead of having an encouragement tone of voice.

OK well I'll check back in in a few days , I'm having level 4 pain, that I can do nothing about.
Similarly to arthritis, if I don't keep moving , my pain become intolerable. I have so much to do, I almost don't need a list, because I Co close my eyes take a few steps and bump into something that could be a task on the list. I know I need to observe my relaxation outlets, but there's an overwhelming amount of things to do, and looking at the the total of hours needed to do them.I will need help. So but, I'm trying to reserve the help for the move. And focus on the packing ,

Moving is always an opportunity to purge and reorganize. But then the deadline looms, heavy on the priorities. I have a great plan, but I need to remember advice about the end game.
DO NOT MOVE THE HOARD INTO THE NEW LIVING SPACE.

I apologize for making this post about me the whole me and nothing but me.

I wish you all the best and very thankful.

PS we did find a place , and put in the hold money, it's not ready, and the deadline looms.
So I'm still packing and putting odd clutter in storage, and all large things are now down stairs , so it won't need to come down stairs on the moving day.

I'm thinking that has scooter's paw prints all over it, Tillie

Tillie, I'm sorry your hoarder isn't ready to change. Does he talk about it at all? Please forgive me if I'm prying and ignore if you want.

I recycle as much as possible, although I try to avoid even recyclable plastic. It's the non-recyclable stuff that is really a problem for me. Styrofoam is the worst! Local styrofoam recycling would literally change my life. The first big step in my dehoarding came with easily available paper recycling.

Maybe you could put a piece of screen over the top of your pot so that the poor plants can't get eaten all the way down?

Tillie, I'm sorry your hoarder isn't ready to change. Does he talk about it at all? Please forgive me if I'm prying and ignore if you want.

I recycle as much as possible, although I try to avoid even recyclable plastic. It's the non-recyclable stuff that is really a problem for me. Styrofoam is the worst! Local styrofoam recycling would literally change my life. The first big step in my dehoarding came with easily available paper recycling.

Maybe you could put a piece of screen over the top of your pot so that the poor plants can't get eaten all the way down?

Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
Hope the second half of your day went smoothly.
Have a fun and safe trip! (((hug)))

Hi CriticalMass :)
Hope the changing barometric pressure doesn't trigger any more problems for you and that those itchy bites have quit itching (((hug)))

Hi Subclinical :)
Yes, I am not a hoarder but I live with one and the situation just keeps getting worse year after year.
I am very happy/enthusiastic when people can finally free themselves from the burdens of having too much stuff.
It makes me sad to see people missing out on the better/easier life because they always have to shuffle around excess baggage.
Even when not home surrounded by the stuff, it's always on their minds and weighs heavily on their spirits.
Also, everyone here understands my struggles and gives me the emotional support I need.

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Hi Porter :)

It really bugs me too when the food comes wrapped up in so much plastic.
Only suggestion is to find a recycling bin and put it in there.
Our dump transfer station has large bins set up for us to dump our recyclables into at no charge to us.
Unfortunately, a lot of food still comes in plastic that is not recyclable.

Two weeks ago I planted some "cat grass" seeds in a little pot and had it on the window sill.
The grass was about two inches tall yesterday.
When I was not present, Somebody ate every little blade of it.
Nothing but a pot of dirt left.
So, I planted the rest of the seed packet in the little pot and hopefully this time the grass can get a little bit taller before it's picked clean. :D

Glad your day got better!

Sending anything to the landfill bothers me. It's a non-renewable/consumption of resources issue. I wish I could think of another use for theplastic containers!

I also have a hard time giving up something that could be reused or recycled if I think that will result in it being thrown away instead.

Hi SubC! Good work on the coffee mugs! Can you tell me more about the plastic? Do you find it hard to get rid of because you can think of uses for it? Or does the non/biodegradable nature of it bother you?

I used to have an issue with saving jars, largely because I thought they were cute. I don't have even one left, I got rid of them all. Now that I'm mentioning it I can think of a few uses for them, if I still had them. But then I like to remind myself that just because I can think of a use doesn't mean 1) that I needed them 2) that they are useful and 3) that I should have kept them.

My day settled down. I visited with BF then with mom. I still have to pack for trip. I forgot to buy milk so no coffee for me tomorrow AM. Drats.

SubC is fine.

I am glad you didn't get a migraine CM, they are awful! I'm a little jealous of your quilting. Some day.... The last quilt I made was 22 years ago. - but I have plenty of fabric!

Tatoulia, I hope the second half of your day was better.

I took 4 mugs to work for a coworker who will get them to a place that helps former foster kids set up their first apartments.

I brought home two storage buckets from class, but they will be washed and returned on Friday - no issues.

The grocery shopping though - Ug! I went to the butcher deliberately instead of shopping out of the case because he normally wraps my meat in paper. Instead he wrapped it in plastic on not one, but two stacked plastic trays. It was like that when he came out with it, and I know that if I ask for paper instead, he'll just rip open the packing and throw it away. Those trays are going to be a problem later. I also bought strawberries and tomatoes in plastic cartons, which will be another problem for me. And Dd's yogurt came in a plastic tub that doesn't recycle. But it's 32 oz, so I can probably plant something in it and give it away. (I live on a small homestead farm, I often give away baby trees and such.)

There is nothing extra on the counter right now but Dd's used lunch containers and the strawberries and tomatoes that won't fit in the fridge yet. When dh gets home we are having a leftover buffet for dinner, but I think I need to clean out the fridge. There is a lot of milk (goats) so I should make cheese tomorrow instead of hoarding it until it goes sour!

No mail today (I stopped as much direct marketing type stuff as possible, so some days we don't get mail.) and I used some coupons, so paper out!

Hey CM, good job in keeping your spirits up despite some bumps in the road today! Glad you did not get e migraine.

My day has been a bunch of screw ups here and I'm trying to take in stride.

SubC--I started calling you that without asking if OK! Hope it is!

Will go try to make the second half of my day better than the first half.

I see we have a new person - welcome, may I call you SubC too? And most here call me CM! :D I've enjoyed reading your posts. Good motivation going on there!

I'm not doing much today as I think I need to rest. I went to my quilting guild at church, and we quit an hour early - it had started to rain and we were at a stopping point. I'd told my quilting buddy I'd meet her for lunch, but right after that as we were all heading out, it started pouring and the wind picked up. I was driving and kind of freaking out - visibility was I'd estimate 1/8 of a mile if that. I was trying to get the radio weather but having trouble. Street was getting flooded. (And it was dripping onto me in my van from where the roof leaks - yuck.) So I pulled into an apartment parking lot for awhile.

It let up enough after a few minutes I was able to get to the restaurant. But inside I felt oddly woozy for a moment. Then I was okay, we ate, she went home, I went to Hobby Lobby a few minutes then home to walk the dog. I'd been wondering if it'd clear and maybe I could go to my storage unit and work on my six boxes of papers. But as I was contemplating getting ready, I kept seeing a bright spot in my vision. Like the sort I get at the start of an optical migraine. It didn't develop into one but it didn't go away for quite awhile either.

I got to thinking about the full moon and the fact that my pet tree frog has croaked 3 days in a row, which usually means he is sensing atmospheric changes associated with storms. And I haven't had all that great of sleep lately. That's when I decided to blow off the afternoon and have a nap, as soon as I finish this post. I hear we may get some heavy storms later - hope they aren't too bad.

I think I also have oak mite bites on my legs - probably from when we were clearing out those tree branches in the backyard. That's what the gals at quilting thought anyway. Whatever it is, those suckers ITCH. :P I put Chigarid on but will need to reapply. Oh well, minor annoyance. I'll probably stay home tomorrow and do stuff, even though I'm impatient about the storage unit, but Friday's forecast is better. And hopefully my legs will itch less too, LOL!

Hello everyone! SubC it's good to have that feeling of clean counters. I cleaned my bedroom earlier this week and it is just so nice. I need to remember this feeling for the times I "don't feel like" cleaning!

Good shopping, Tillie!

I am working from home today and trying to find some moments to pick up a little. I am taking mom for haircut later tonight. It's cold but a short walk/wheelchair ride.

I'll report back soon--I need to pack for an overnight for this weekend.

Thank you for the welcome Tatoulia, and Tillie for the enthusiastic cheering!

As I am reading more, it appears that Tillie, you are not the hoarder but the hoarder's partner? How do you keep up your enthusiasm for supporting people cleaning out? Has the hoarding improved at your house?

I don't know the backstory on the chandelier, but I am a big fan of getting the things you really want and not getting things you don't want. We are currently building an addition (long story) and I think we will have bare bulb porch lights for a long time because we can't find any we actually like and don't want to spend money on one we don't like.

It was really nice to get up this morning and have clean counters to fix breakfast and pack lunches for dh and dd! A good start to the day.

Hi Everybody :)

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Hi Porter :)

Hi CriticalMass :)
Wonderful long post! :D
Thank you, I have been babying my pulled muscles but also gently exercising them.
WAY TO GO!!!! for everything done and your future planning too! :D
Once those memory triggering papers are sorted out and gone you will feel a great weight lifted from you. (((HUGS)))

Hi Subclinical :)
WAY TO GO!!!!! for that cleared counter! :D
Extra points for putting the stuff in the room it belongs in, shredding old papers and getting the recycling in the car. ;)

Hi Tatoulia :)
Happy the vitamins have helped (((HUGS)))
So nice your friend knows and respects your personal tastes/styles.
It will be fun searching for the right chandelier.


Slept in this morning and it made a world of difference.
Figured out why I am sleeping poorly.
Scooter has been laying on my legs keeping me from turning.
I think he is afraid because the coyotes have been coming around here at night.
Went into town before noon just because I needed to get out.
Went to the thrift shop and bought 2 new pair of socks, a light green pair and a pretty pink pair.
Also got a really pretty genuine garnet bracelet.
All together it all cost me one dollar.
Best part was talking to some people I know. :D
Came home and started watering the garden and just enjoying all the plants and being outside.
Marty (the cat) caught a large lizard and I got it away from him before he hurt it badly.

Welcome, SubC! Glad you are here! Congratulations on your accomplishments! Great work!

CM thank you for the nice ,ing posts! You are doing great. So very pleased for you!

Dear Tillie--please take good care of yourself. I've been feeling so much better since taking vitamin B.

Quick post re designer & chandelier--she only wants me to be happy. I told her I wasn't sure on chandelier and she completely focused in on the reason: just not feminine enough for me. She thankfully isn't like the ones we see on TV who fight about stuff and need to be right. When I find my one, I'll pick it up. And meanwhile me if she sees anything overseas, she can send me a photo. I'm hoping for something with a French influence,

Must go--thinking of you all.

I did it!

I recycled all the mail except one envelope for dd2 who is living with us this summer. I went down to my file drawer to try to find three sheets of paper (my guess, since I didn't open her mail) and discovered that I still had all my check statements from 2004-2006 - shredded and recycled!

Counter is clean - I moved everything to the room it belonged in (if that was the kitchen, I put it away) and I took the recycling out to the car to drop off tomorrow. I even put one item in the trash.

trash is a flashpoint for me and I am working very hard at avoiding things coming into my life that will eventually be trash in order to avoid throwing things "away" - there is no "away". I cancelled the trash service and now drop the trash (mostly plastic food packaging) in the wastebasket in my classroom - with permission - or the trash can at the grocery store (I bought it there, seems fair). This is usually an empty chip bag refilled with trash or a ziplock quart bag that used to have nuts or lunch meat in it. One or two a week.

Tomorrow I work all day, so my household goals are simple - to bring in less than I take out, and to go to bed with clean kitchen counters.

Hi, I'm new.

I posted a little bit about myself in the welcome forum and Tillie said it was ok to come in.

It's going to take me a while to get to know people and I can't see the other posts when I'm replying, so please forgive me if I mess stuff up. I'm interested in the storage unit progress already, criticalmass, right? - not sure about the capitalizing. Getting rid of cardboard is always good! It doesn't make good storage.

Today is a hard day because I have nothing scheduled to give it structure and it's been raining all day. I'm going to try to clean off the kitchen counter before I need to make dinner in three hours - which I realize "normal" people would consider a slam dunk, but I'm hoping that here I can get recognition for an accomplishment.

I also want to walk up (my house is a tenth of a mile from the road) get the mail, process it, and put enough paper in the recycling bag to balance the mail plus one page.

Part 2 of 2 - my own updates

It's gotten a little mushed up in my mind since I had hoped to update more frequently, but that's okay. I'm sure I can at least convey the gist of it.

Last week I went to the storage with the idea I'd had of extracting breakables so that when moving time comes (so exciting to say that as it feels like more and more of a reality!) no one need worry about breaking anything, and I won't be nervous about it either.

So I found my angel collection, which I decided to pare down to just the favorites. Then I packed up the keepers. My cat figurines - one of which did get an ear broken when the social worker picked them up and they fell - I brought home, and repacked carefully. I had found the ear on the floor and figured out what it was, then I found the cat it went to. I glued it on. It needs a little filling in with putty and repainting, but that can be done later when I unpack them in my new place whenever I finally get one.

I was very energized with all that I was doing. The more I did, the more I wanted to do.

I also brought home important paper files, and merged and purged that with files here. Eliminated a fair amount of paper in the process. I used to have so many metal filing cabinets of paper. I think it was 2-3 of the 4-drawer and 4 of the 2-drawer, something like that. And I carried those babies up and down stairs, loaded them into vehicles, etc. No wonder I developed hernias! They are long gone. I'm hoping 2-3 medium tubs will hold any papers I absolutely need.

I took some of the repacked collectibles back to storage yesterday. Seems kind of redundant as they will be getting moved again, but they were in the way here at the house.

I also did some moving of stuff in the unit, and made a discovery that was a bit dismaying - about half a dozen more cardboard boxes of assorted papers that had been hiding behind other stuff. Sigh. But it'll be okay - I'll just have to set a day to tackle those. Or more than one day if that's what it takes. I can have a system - there's a wastebasket already for "Shred" and I can make temporary boxes for sorting a few keepers. Hopefully the vast majority will end up in trash or shred.

Some of these papers are memory triggers good and bad. My college stuff - the awards and all, then the plan for the master's thesis that never got rolling because I crashed and burned emotionally . . . the home foreclosure stuff (shudder), and some good memory stuff as well. I kind of had to laugh at myself because when I thought the other day that I was down to just two boxes, I had this nagging feeling at the back of my mind that it had been too easy. Now I know!

It will all be okay. Even the sad memory triggers. God's got my back, and it will be okay. :)

In between all that storage and other organizing of my stuff, my roommate and I tackled yard work that hadn't been doable during the rainy days in April. Cleared out the remains of a dead tree, emptied a big compost bin, weeded some in the garden beds, etc. I'm not the hardcore gardener she is, and I tend to view it more as a chore these days. But there's still some satisfaction in getting it done, and right now the bugs aren't as bad as they will be.

I'm not going to plant much of my own except stuff for my bunnies to eat. If I plant any flowers, I'll be sure to get ones that will obligingly DIE come fall, so that neither of us will be tempted to bring them indoors for the winter. The house gets overcrowded with plants, IMO. I can at least do my part to not add to that.

So, I have been very busy. But it's all worth it! Glad to be back on the board and now that I've said where I'm at with things, there'll be a context for update posts that aren't a mile long - provided I can get them made promptly!

This will be Post 1 of 2 - responding to everyone's recent posts. Then I'll make a 2nd post for my own doings of late. It's been a busy time!

Porter -

When you get more time again for your creative outlets -

I still think you ought to write a futuristic novel! :D Here are some of my thoughts about that.

I'm afraid I'd be a bad candidate for the flying car thing, though, as I'm agoraphobic with a fear of heights. Unless it could skim along not too far off the ground, but that would seem rather boring and kind of defeat the purpose, wouldn't it? ;) Don't know about the moving sidewalks - I also have difficulty taking public transportation with my weird complex phobia. But I could see a lot of people liking that. As long as there were various options for those of us with different needs, I could be okay with it. My point is, you'd have a percentage of the population who would be afraid of it; they'd want to keep some of the old ways available. And maybe that'd just be necessary anyway for various reasons - but if the low energy consumption of the newer technology helped, it might all work out.

How would the need for "air traffic control" and the potential for "air rage" akin to road rage be dealt with? What about spying on one's neighbors, no-fly zones over parts of town - see, this is why you need to write a novel! You have all the elements for conflict and resolution built in - just need to flesh it out with characters and a plotline. It'd be a great creative project. But as busy as you are just creating the real thing, and dealing with your everyday situation, maybe there are only so many hours in a day. I just can't resist pointing out novel or movie ideas to folks when I spot them, LOL.

Back to reality for a moment . . . What sucks about any "off the grid" or renewable solutions to our dependency on fossil fuels and so on, is that if the government can't regulate it and the big corporate fatcats can't cash in on it, it ain't gonna happen. I hope someday this changes, but I doubt I'll live to see that day. Sorry for the Debbie Downer moment. I think we still must try to do what we can. Forge bravely ahead!

Tatoulia - "editing" your house - as a writer, I love it! :)

Re the chandelier - perhaps you could find one you prefer and show it to your decorator and act really excited about it, say you got a great deal on it and it just "called" to you - and she will get caught up in your enthusiasm and there you go!

Tillie - glad the baby bunny was okay! It's a wild and crazy time in nature. We walk the dog between 10:00-11:00 p.m. and see adult bunnies doing their mating dances, leaping up in the air and dashing about. The dog goes crazy. Squirrels are everywhere, birds... it's sad to see the inevitable fatalities of those who dashed in front of a car, or drew the attention of a cat.

Also hope that by now your shoulder is healed - but still, protect it, as it's going to be vulnerable to reinjury for awhile.

Anony, good to have you pop in again - keep us posted! I think it's okay to work on the part we're having success on - because success breeds success. Eventually the day should come when you have an "Aha!" moment about one area of the interior, and you go and do that, and it leads to more such moments. That's kind of how my storage unit work kicked into high gear. My social worker suggested we work on eliminating the sad, sagging cardboard boxes. From that simple idea came the purging of many papers, or reorganizing of non-paper items, the pitching of the boxes, more space to walk through, and a sense of excitement and eagerness to keep going. I think it gave my ADD-indecision a place to focus and NOT have to dither, just target the next cardboard box in my line of sight and dig in!

Hi Everyone :)

Hi Porter :)
At 13 a girl should be allowed to decorate her own room her own way.
Within reason, nothing too damaging to the structure. ;)
I believe that everybody should have a room all their own to set up to please no one but them.

Hi Tatoulia :)
WOW! 3 bags out! WTG! :D
Happy you had the music on, it does help make things move along.

Hi Everybody! :D

Did almost diddily-squat today.
Swished the toilet bowl.
Sorta raked and swept by the front porch.
Washed some dishes.
Then I took a nap.
Just been so tired every day. Need to sleep better at night and not keep waking up off & on all night.

Two big bags of garbage out and one bag of recycling. Going to get dishwasher ready and started. Feeling good about my progress.

Putting the music on really makes a difference.

I love the thought of the kitty having horse friends, Tillie!

I'm working from home today. I need to accomplish a lot both work wise and home wise. Plenty to do all around.

Trying to plan only 1 large thing at a time from upstairs.I'm more worried about getting hurt . I know it can happen, and I'm too vulnerable.

At least my stairs has a landing half way.
And I have made holes in the wall getting the large things . My plan will be to use plaster to fill the holes. So it better I empty the upstairs so any chance of injury or repairs will accomplished prior to moving day.
Plus moving downstairs, across town and the back upstairs is too much + everything else.

Last time I moved my mother decorated my daughters room, but I had to sacrifice a a moving day and a moving van rental to deal with her and her moods.
In the end , last time, my neighbors. Stole 1/4th of my valuables out my garage, because Isidro have time to get to it because of doing for them.

I see it coming again.

My mom ! If I let her in she wants me to do as she would do. And she can be Curt to us..

She doesn't get it. It's not that don't appreciate her help. It's that it causes tension and harsh statements if I allow her help. I'd rather get do nothing and just enjoy time together doing trivial things without needles and pins.

So now she's offended that I won't let her decorate the 13 year olds room. It's a sore spot for me.
Not the bad experiences, but going up I never got to have anything in my rooms of my own. Not even a poster or sticker, I left home and my first wife was the same way. My second wife , the one that I live with now , we have our own rooms. And boy do I hear about it. But I cant live in the same room with her anymore, she's abusive, and dirty. I don't want to say anymore about that. But I just look at my daughter sometimes, and think , if I don't let her have pride in space, she never want to put in the effort , and become like her mother.

So her room stinks , but is covered in rock band posters and music boy bands. She has no siblings , so her friends. Like coming over and spending time in the empty house that always has food.

Grandma wants it to look like a pretty room without function. But just want to see the floor, and not smell dirty clothes. I'll know more when I find a place. I don't think my daughter has much to complain about and I shield her from people like her mother and grand ma when they are high horses.
Teens need a sense of identity, and for now her friends come because she has a room that reflects their culture. At least for now, before she meets a boyfriend .


Good night. Best wishes.

Hi Everybody :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
WAY TO GO!!!! for a sweet relaxing place to sleep. :D
Sounds like it could be fun having your friend rearrange and freshen up a few rooms for you.
I get too much enjoyment just from something simple like a new curtain. ;)

Hi CriticalMass :)
WOOHOO! Great job! :D
Looking forward to hearing all about it when you have the time.

Hi Anonymoniker :)
This is the best time of year to enjoy the outside of our homes.
When summer heat gets here we will have to spend more time inside.

Hi Porter :)
Keep up the wonderful job you are doing thinking through every aspect of the move.
Great thinking as to how to help your wife with her things by having friends do that with her.

Yesterday I decided to water everything in the yard then I took a nap.
Today I went grocery shopping, everything is put away now.
Just sitting here watching Youtube videos and reading stuff on the interwebs. ;)
Spoke with my neighbor who has horses.
Evidently, Scooter (the cat) has been going over to my fence along side the stables and playing with the horses.
Some cats form very strong attachments to their horse friends.

Anony & Porter--great to hear from you!

I have no fear of leaving house while designer works with my place. She has excellent taste and will work with my existing things and art. She has a very good painter who will paint and paper as necessary. She may make slip overs for furniture and she might do other things but she won't be painting my antiques. She and I antique when she is in the US and she know my taste and I know hers. I am not afraid. Kitty and I will go stay at BF's during the process. She initially thought she'd need 4 days but if I send her the dimensions of the rooms she will be able to plan it out and may only need two days. I'm very excited. She has wonderful taste, with one of her houses (that she lives in) having been featured in an overseas version of Architectural Digest. I have seen many pictures of her homes and although we do not have the same taste, she will be working with my existing items and artwork, she is free to do essentially whatever she likes. I trust her completely and she will take into account that I have a pet.

Had such a good cleaning day today. I'm no Porter, to be sure, but excellent day. BF and I also went to mom's to help out and make a few adjustments to how her house is arranged.

Hello to all!!!
Porter, i continue to be amazed at your intelligence, creativity & drive! I cant imagine functioning as well as you do in any of those circumstances?!! :D
Tillie, it is nice you seem to have a relaxing day happening with no hard projects or anything challenging or upsetting! That is good! It seems you would benefit from more days like this?!
CM, WOW!!! How wonderfully exciting that you are getting so much done! That is fantastic! You go, girl! :D
Tatoulia, this decorating sounds so exciting! What a difference it will make! All of your hard work will pay off & it will be like a nice new home! Im not sure id feel as comfortable not being there with that work being done, tho? Maybe im projecting my own bad experiences of doing that?
~☆~You are all doing such great stuff! Im so glad for each of you & also inspired!~☆~
....im really enjoying the outside of my place....its the inside i just cant seem to get anywhere with...

Hello to all!!!
Porter, i continue to be amazed at your intelligence, creativity & drive! I cant imagine functioning as well as you do in any of those circumstances?!! :D
Tillie, it is nice you seem to have a relaxing day happening with no hard projects or anything challenging or upsetting! That is good! It seems you would benefit from more days like this?!
CM, WOW!!! How wonderfully exciting that you are getting so much done! That is fantastic! You go, girl! :D
Tatoulia, this decorating sounds so exciting! What a difference it will make! All of your hard work will pay off & it will be like a nice new home! Im not sure id feel as comfortable not being there with that work being done, tho? Maybe im projecting my own bad experiences of doing that?
~☆~You are all doing such great stuff! Im so glad for each of you & also inspired!~☆~
....im really enjoying the outside of my place....its the inside i just cant seem to get anywhere with...

I love a clear bedroom , with clean sheets.

I think that fabulous tat.
A professional designer , how motivating!

CM
Keep whittling away , it will get to a point where the only thing left is to redecorate. And that's like better than any high .

Tillie, although I've always know about play time, creative outlet, it wasn't until you said it , right when I needed to hear it and do it.

I do go on and on about things, many totally unrealistic and unrelated to hoarding. It's apart of my process though. For now I have way too much to do to move. I can't afford a single 4hour lapse over the next three weeks. So I'll put my ego house with hydrogen heliport on hold. But I'll be thinking all about it. It's my escape from the real world.

No , the clusterphuq property management gave us only 20 days to move, and my wife won't help me with moving expenses. So I'm stuck .
I don't have enough to move until I have only a weekend left to meet the deadline. So I have high anxiety about it. But nose to the grind stone , everything being packed tightly all in sequences.
All my stuff, all daughter stuff, all wife stuff, all kitchen stuff, all laundry stuff, all appliances, all outside stuff

Currently I'm moving everything down stairs except the bed and drum . Those will be the very last things to move.
Her last day of eight grade is the 25th of May and we're are expected to be out the 24th , she goes on field trip to Chicago on the 25th so not saying its perfect but it fits. It fits that I didn't want to move her to more than 3 schools in her school life, till college. So I'm glad the first 11 year hurdle from preschool to 8th grade was all under the same roof.

I started her early. She may be held back if I choose to so. My thinking is if she becomes depressed after her mother passes, I send her to online school and get a tutor to help her with math. And then restart as freshman again at a new school . But that's the back up plan, for now. I'll see how she does if she makes good friend and has great study habits, otherwise. I'll need to pull on cord , and readdress expectations. She's to prepare for college. That means doing well with college prep courses.
Her mother will be gone, I'm 48 and will be almost 57 by the time she graduates college. There no one to help her. And things haven't been great with her and her aunt. I roll my eyes.

I'm all for her going to aunts after my wife's passing , and if doesn't work out I can play parent hold back card. And repeat that year somewhere else.

But I understand how hard it is to lose a parent , and then the other remaining parent send you away.

So I'll just let it play out, and see how things are going , before I put any ideas out there for them.

It's a good day.

I have a plan .
I'm moving the upstairs , downstairs .
1 or 2 large things at a time.

And moving everyone's packed items into separate rooms.
Wife's room is untouched by me.
I'm forcing her to get a helper, and I'm not doing any of it.
Only because she harangue me about every little thing. And I'll get now where where there's so much to do.
Whatever they can't figure out I'll come behind and move to storage, .

Daughter and I are already fully purged.

I have asked for help from tow of my wife's friends.

I'm asking then to help transport and organize the the closets.
Due to mice, I'm taking everything to laundromat.
And having it all sorted, washed and dried at the laundromat .Then the helpers take over. I told them it the can get a handyman or someone to help with shelving would be great. And they are actually looking forward to it.

Nothing consumes my time during a move than arguments about closet space . And having to cut shelving and making adjustments. So I'm handing that off to some other person. I made sure it wasn't her closest of friends though, I can foresee a possibility where my turns turn into a grimalkin.
And she loses a bestie.

Well I gotta get back the next thing in the list.
I have a list of 20 . Ten next big things, and ten next small things. I get alot of that done. More than just by priority alone.

Sorry for rough draft and not editing

Bedroom clean and clear! Dusted all surfaces, clean sheets, all clothes put away, about to vacuum!

CM you have motivated me!! Thank you!!!! I'm puttering away!

Congratulations, CM! Looking forward to your longer post!

Drive by - I've literally been getting so much accomplished that I haven't had time to post about it! I want to catch up on you all's happenings and write a "real" post about mine soon. In the meantime best to everyone! :)

Hello everybody! Tillie glad you are up and running again! Anony thanks for the shout-out. It's easier to think of it as editing at this point. I need a professional editor, I'm afraid, but I'm doing it myself in the meantime! Hello Porter!

My friend from overseas (an artist and designer) said that next time she's in the US, she wants to redo the living room, dining room and library area of my house. She wants me to leave for a day or two while she does it. She has beautiful taste. She picked out the drapery fabric already and although she found a good antique chandelier, I'm not sure it's the one I want. But I do like it and the drapery fabric is beautiful. She will make drapes and then for small window in library she will make a shade. I'm pretty happy about this! This will also help me make decisions re some of the artwork I'm not quite ready to get rid of. She'll be able to help me with that. She said I just leave out the stuff I want her to use and/or choose from and she'll get it all done.

I will likely buy the fabric in the next week or so. I'm not convinced on the chandelier and will see what I think when I go to see it again.

I have to go through my things and find more to take to consignment shop. I liked getting a check earlier this week!

Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Porter :)
You have done so much to make moving so much easier for your family.
The actual move shouldn't be too difficult. :D
Have you found a place to move to?

The reason that play time, crafts & hobbies and just taking the time to enjoy the day is so important is that "life goes on" even when we have a hoard to declutter and a house to clean.
If all we ever do is declutter and clean we get burned out and depressed.
We need some enjoyment, some rest from the daily grind.

Overcast & breezy today.
Need to water the trees sometime this weekend.
Should go grocery shopping for fresh produce.
Only 10:00am so there is plenty of time yet to decide what I want to do. :)

Before I started posting on this message board.
I lived in a typical hoard that left little space for entertaining guests or much room more than the space we slept.
It had been purged several times, and posting to this site made feel like I was presently trying to purge. I had some serious reason to do so.
And now I'm moving again with most of the useless parts of the hoarding already purged. I tend to get to serious for too long and burn out.
The suggestion to do something fun or play with my crafts didn't seen like it would make a difference in the hoard or become counter productive.
But I tried , starting working on model homes as my craft. I mean some people are into baseball cards , sport statistics, cars, martial arts, sewing, reading. For me it's quirky. More like a city planner, but less than that.
There is a group that designoven and grade fire.
There goal is to create campfire oven that can transfer the heat with the smallest amount of wood sticks. So that poor people's won't burn the Forrest's down just for cooking and heating .

I'm along a similar vein. What is cheapest way to live a robust life. To build your own mansion, and now unexpectedly how to commute to and from employment. I assume it's where we spend 65% of our lives . At home and on the way to work.
So it's the energy consumption that I'm actually focused on as my creative outlet. I do day dream about it all quite alot. But the creative outlet is a designated time . Usually for me is when everyone is still asleep, much like a model train engineer that goes down Into a basement. In their own private world. I tend to be easily upset, and yell. So I do recognize a need for an adult time out. Either before it starts or when it is occurring. I dont think we'll when upset , and calming down I listen better.

For a long time years and years , I was not spending much time on my creative outlet.
So I wasn't enjoying my time out time.

I consider coming here and writing a post. A form of this time out process. Rather than yelling or venting. To my spouse , I avoid the discord , and write it out , my strategy has been finding the path to do everything myself.

So I feel my house design is in the direction of cheap homeowner ship. That's upgradeable.
If a couple spends 8 hours during the week and 8 hours during the weekend for 16 hours each. 32 man hours a week. In ten years they build a mansion. That is energy efficient and self powered., but has utility hook up if needed.

Then I've also starting to see the implementation of hydrogen harvesting, and how it could power a small bike. Morbid us understand the energy needed to pedal a bike. It's mostly for going up hill. Where going along flats isn't as difficult.
I looked up hydrogen bicycles and found that we can with current technology ride pedal less bicycles for ten miles a day from hydrogen we all produce. Everyday.

Further I've discovered other the new FYI g technologies that could make these ultralite flying g bicycles powerfully enough to overcome the wind and fly rather than walk or ride. .
I estimate that that there is enough disposable hydrogen from non flying or biking humans that there would be plenty enough .
The emphasis on hydrogen being that cheap to harvest and doesn't need vast networks to transport it. In fact if we sold all of our hydrogen we as human create ,from the time we're babies to time were ready to start building our home. We could pay for home long before we start to build it.

While fossil fuels won't go away.
I think of fossil fuels this way.
You've gotten ten thousand candles , it's not a good idea to light them all at once. A little at time, is much better.

Friday morning while I was daydreaming with a thought experiment. I had Eureka moment.
I figured it out.
We no longer need gasoline powered automobiles to commute us 30 miles to work.

A hybrid of bicycle and flying cycle.


I'm now taking the thoughts into a basement and working on it. .
It's of those thing that makes perfect sense ,but not until you see it with your own two eyes. An you think. Well of course.


This idea is so hard for me to ignore as just a random. This idea has so much potential that I must try it. The second obstacle it would face would be how it is copied. If it is marketed as a gasoline powered flying vehicle then it's potential will be as impactful as dynamite In The theaters of war.
Yes I could easily make it gasoline powered , and fear other may create gasoline powered flying cars very soon. My concept isn't about a flying muscle car. As great as that sounds.

My creative outlet has turned from the rammed earth /foam core home. To the hydrogen fueled flying bicycle. Takes off vertically, fly's like a velocopter , lands like an airplane. Fits in a lane of traffic. Parks in parking spot. Is cheap as pee to refuel.

It's just one alternative. Just like thorium lftr.
These are solutions to climate changes from both ends. From the central power station. To the fuels for vehicles a home. 85%. Green house gas comes from home heating and vehicles exhaust.



I find it interesting enough to , keep some of the ideas on my phone. And is a cool to me way to spend a time out. As long as I keep time outs to small five minute breaks , just to calm down.

Moving almost all my things to storage today.

Very difficult day for me.
Given only 20 days to find new place.

I'm ready, but as with anything.
With change we feel vulnerable.
I cashed out all my vacation time to ensure we have enough for all things planned and unexpected.

I will not say it can't get worse.
It feels like a disaster to me, but to my wife is like giving my daughter and I a fresh start before she leaves for hospice.

I know I'm up to the challenge , and I will never think about vacation pay the same again.

I got $1500 no questions asked.

In my excitement , when I got the letter today.
I was bewildered. I knew I needed creative outlet.
So I could think on the matters before reacting.
So I had bought a set of practice drums.for my daughter. An spent 40minutes resplicing the wiring and finding other equipment to matxh the specs in the online Manuel. My hoarding was organized and I found just what I needed to get it working.

Pleased that is now completed, daughter says she's going to sleep with it tonight. Music is her outlet. Got it from let go for $90. Same setup at the music store was $210 . If I have money left over . I'll send her to the music store for lessons. Oh god does she need lessons.

Tatoulia, i like that 'editing my house' thats a great phrase!!! :D

Tatoulia, i like that 'editing my house' thats a great phrase!!! :D