The guest room is "clean" (there are some minor things that have to be done to make it ready for my "grand dog" - move out a rocking chair and bench, roll up the rug, take my knitting basket upstairs) but all of that could be done in 5 minutes w/ds help after he arrives.

I still have a huge challenge in the dining porch.

I caught up on milk (there are enough jars with lids in the running dishwasher to hold tomorrow's milk.)

Have not addressed papers yet. There are a lot of papers in the dining porch, so I may attack that together tomorrow or Monday.

My oldest lives nearby, but she wants to come out and stay for the weekend when her brother is here, with her husband and dog. So now I have to clear another area for more people to sleep. My list never gets shorter.

Tatoulia, it sounds like you are enjoying good weather. Is your brother young, or is there something else that makes dissapointments challenging for him? Not trying to be intrusive, just to understand.

Tillie, I too am glad you didn't have to make the drive! Hopefully you are feeling better today. I also need preparation for people. I have trouble going to the mall alone. I have to go to one store - straight to the store not looking at the people, shop, straight back to the car. Or, someone has to hold my hand. I can remember telling my son when he was only 5 "do not let go of my hand. Your job is to get us back to the car." My daughter (oldest, whose job was to keep track of the 3 y.o.) said she thought I did that to make him behave, she didn't realize for years that I was serious.

Dh and I recently had a huge fight over an spending an extra 24 hours on our summer trip with his large, overwhelming family, and I am currently stressing about Memorial Day weekend, when my house will be full of people I love.

Tillie, I am so sorry to hear this. I'm glad he found an alternative but feel so badly about how much it took out of you. Please rest and enjoy the quiet if you can. I'm so, so sorry.

SubC, I too enjoy the long posts. I'm not good about replying to each person but I read them and get s lot out of them.

Today I have a charity walk followed by taking my brother out. He held up pretty well when I told him we couldn't do first thing in the AM the way he wants.

I slept well last night. It was cool out and I had my windows open and ceiling fan on. It was heavenly.

I'm doing a quick load of laundry--things I can hang in the shower to dry--and will get ready to go now. I don't have time to change my sheets before I leave but I will make my bed. Believe it or not, I make my bed every single day. And even at my worst, I changed my sheets once a week. Now to get back on a vacuuming schedule!

Hi Everybody :)

Well, as I have admitted here before
I have "issues" with going places and being around a lot of people.
The other night as I was preparing to go to bed
he came in and informed me that he had a Dr. appointment in Reno the next morning and I would have to drive him home.
He knew about this appointment weeks ago but didn't bother to tell me.
I can drive the 150+ miles round trip and I can maneuver the traffic there
but I need time to mentally prepare myself to do this.
Anyways, I had a complete and total break down.
He ended up having to call someone else to take him.
I have been recuperating and getting myself back to "normal" or what I consider functional.

Reno and the city of Sparks (which is attached to Reno)are large cities with lots of people and crazy rush hour traffic 24 hours a day.
Carson City (Nevada state capital) is just as bad any more too
and it's just as far away.

CM--enjoyed reading your post--I haven't read anyone else's just yet. CM you are making great progress--the ups and downs are natural. It's good that you've recognized that you can ease the ups and downs by making sure you have some extra waters and snacks on hands. I definitely weather the storms better when I'm properly hydrated. With my mother, I note she gets very blue when she hasn't eaten enough so I try to keep laughing cow cheese wedges in her fridge to give her a little boost throughout the day.

You are making great progress! I am so proud of you!! I hope to apply some of your strength to my own situation this weekend. Week has been hectic and I have a hectic weekend coming up but I can do it--with your help and encouragement!

Everyone, have a good day! Tillie I'm thinking of you and the kitties and hope you get some nice outdoors time today!

Hi everyone!

Porter and CriticalMass, I love the long posts! I am getting to know everyone.

Porter I am ver excited for you about your move! So close! You work nights? That must be hard with your daughter. When my kids were little dh was on shifts for a while and that was always hard. Maybe it would have been easier if it had been consistent.

Growing a beard and no alcohol are both thrifty. :)

CM, I find I need to watch my hydration a lot more than I did when I was younger! And take more breaks.

It's great that you are making progress. I am a collector of many things also. I have an "assorted" ceramic animal collection that is all tiny, and then the ceramic cats... I had all the little animals together in a case, where I almost never looked at them, but recently I put two on my kitchen windowsill next to a plant and they make me happy every day. Now I am thinking I should get some kind of padded box with dividers and just put a few out at a time.

Tatoulia, what would happen to the clutter if you got rid of the furniture? Would you clean it up and stop accumulating it? That would be good, right?

I still have not gotten to the papers. I am also falling behind on the milk again. Too much to do! Yesterday I planted 11 baby trees that had been slowly dying on my porch (11 did die, 9 more need to be planted.). I am trying to learn not to bite off more than I can chew, but it is so hard. Today I teach and then I have to set up for a show for my students at a local studio. Home late.

One area where I am working on manageable quantities is at the food bank. We get day old bread to give out. The bread comes in many times a week, and it is Ruth's job to sort and display it. I've been helping her. Before we open, we go through the shelves and toss all the moldy bread into discard boxes. These boxes go to food bank volunteers to feed chickens and pigs. Because I have chickens and bring in eggs sometimes, Ruth is always pushing me to take bread. I am very happy to have the bread because it cuts feed expenses, but I can very easily succumb to taking too much.

Also, at the end of the day we toss the oldest bread and the varieties we have way too much of that rarely get chosen into discard boxes. The rarely chosen breads are often ones that I really like, and they are now "two day old" bread (two days past sell by date). So I don't feed those to my chickens when I get them, I feed them to me. I have to resist the urge to fill my freezer with bread - "they make more!"

Yesterday before I left I made a rule that for every loaf I kept from the chickens I would take one out of the freezer and give it to them. I didn't follow it, but I put one in the freezer and took one out. However, I kept a couple of bags of rolls in the fridge to make sandwiches for dh and dd. But I had almost used up the rolls from last week. I should give the rest of that bag to the chickens....

I have to be careful about the rolls, because dh gets mad that i feed him "day old bread" which I think is stupid. I go to the grocery store on Wednesdays. I go to the food bank on Thursdays and Mondays. So the bread from the food bank on Thursday is one day older than buying fresh bread at the grocery store, and the bread on Monday is three days fresher!

Warning. Creative outlet is raw and far out there today.

Had more Eureka thoughts about
Flying bicycle.
Using sailing tech on how to block airflow and then force the flow into more or less force.

I know its a vague concept. But I'm putting four technologies into one concept. And a fifth Into crash suits instead of seat belts.
Basically if it's top speed is nearly the same of skydiving it'll be much safer than hurtling toward the ground striped into heavy machinery.

There will need to be 20 years of tweaking and I wo t be around to see it .
But my concept is a not a automobiles replacement, rather a single riders choice to fly a light weight commute vehicle. That is a marriage of bicycle and hovercraft. They seperate the hover craft can float for 1 hour. And bicycles have a range of 100 miles on pedalless hydrogen. The bike is oft the shelf tech already in existence.
The concept is the hover craft just hovers.
But bicycles wheels are converted into forward motion by using the bicycle wheels that have fan technology
So when you may longer fly , you park the hover craft, snap off the bike, and ride the rest of the way on a zero pollution bike.

The concept is that the path of flight near cities
One way lanes. Crating a foot path. Covered by a inexpensive tunnel. The flyers and the walkers ,and bikers separated by the tunnel. So that crash landings dont land on people or property .

However the draw is equals the bicycle tech.
Hydrogen powered bicycles have a range of 100 miles at 40mph. I'm just changing the wheels.
The rotar blades are inside the wheels . I stead of spokes. Dropping heavy mechanical parts buy using the human strength for steering. The hover craft is automated. You just set the height , and the hover craft simply hover that high. But the the propeller blades inside the bike wheels steer the direction. Of the hover craft. I imagine it will. E like the getting on the bike backwards and using the free wheel to to steer like the rear fan on a helicopter. For stabilizer

Then the chain wheel will drive the propulsion.
My adhd keeps this like a puzzle in my mind.
And simply cannot wait to get the move over and start building components on the 3d printer.
My vision is it look less like a car and more like a flying life jacket. Molded into the shape of flying saucer hover craft. With tear shape crash capsule. . It always sounds bizzare until I say put the Harley Davidson sticker on it.
Then it's like the coolest thing ever. The flying Harley hover cycle . Runs on hydrogen.

We all pee out enough hydrogen to fly 5 miles a day. No drilling, no treaties, no trade route transportation. It's a game changer.
I imagine using wind and solar to extract the hydrogen From our pee. Is that's needed. It wouldn't be long the flying Harley could go to your markets unmanned . And retrieve your items without the weight of the human. To steer it. And get the weight of human in items .

Add in other transit techs like flying 10 miles to a subway station. Where all the loading and unloading occurs and the. It rides the train. To the take off spot. And returns to your home.

So the hoarding angle will be we would keep our supplies near cities in storage units. And when needed we retrieve objects from the units.
A simple bar code system allows leeks to enter units load and unload the items.

.what this does.
So much money is devoted to road infrastructures.
But hover bikes would need so much less time and mass to maintain. Not to mention . No one can charge you for peeing. It's up to you if you want to extract the hydrogen.


in the air tonight
purple rain
imagine
November rain
symphony of destruction
super Nova
black hole sun
thunderstruck
hell's bells
pink so what
oh no he's got to go Godzilla
heavy metal. by Sammy Hagar
every breath you take
we didn't start the fire
from this moment on
sweet child of mine
with or without you
electric avenue
everything's gonna be alright
everyone wants to rule the world
bohimien rhapsody
stone cold
iron man

today was hot, I got 9hrs at work, and as git home and felt the slightest fall from conciseness my wife invited me to lunch, I know better than to let her eat alone.
everything was fine and we got the call from the property manager , that 430 pm we can sign lease and get keys.
I'm happy but wish it was earlier. however I'm very pleased to move into something that fits my situation so well and is in my price range.

I just love queso and salsa, I brought half home, and fell like a rock into water, woke up in the sun on the couch, it was 87 on the in home thermostat. I took a cool shower put on the playlist , and wife came home with more food from Olive Garden. I've ate like a king.
I've loaded up the electronic drums into my car, and all the speakers and supporting equipment. deflated an air mattress.

have all windows open. and am now just resting . borrowed $300 from my brother and used it to reserve a $19 truck from uhaul. through Sunday at midnight.

I took Wednesday off prior to or move out date make the final exit.

my plan is to get at the low hanging fruit. that helps to clear the moving space , but in organized ways.
and then the biggest objects of each room that can't fit in our vehicles.
then the big TVs. and start with moving the structures into the basement.
by the end of the day Friday I hope to have all beds at the new place and in the air-conditioning.

wife is handling all utilities, property management gave us 30 days to put it all in our names which helps to move out with properties having full power. and yet enough time for deposits to kick back balance payoffs.

I've grown a full beard,
I thought I would be in the freezer dept permanently, but I'm back in my old positions.
my experience was to see everything coming and learn the differences between new and extended staff. adjust accordingly. when they use me elsewhere they lose expediency.
putting two newbies in my old spot and still doesn't match my experience. it's very silly job
basically getting boxes unstuck in an antiquated conveyor system. the maintenance man is scamming the company by not adjusting guard heights , I've reported it until I was blue in the face, and no longer care, because it's my job security . if he did his job , I would be out of a job. if it were not for the company trying screw out us out pay and passing problems back to the staff. I would try harder to fix it myself. but they cut my hours , no way I help them cut them more and make the job more intense for others in my absence.
I used to get 50 hrs a week. now 38.

so as soon as I get settled. into new home, I'm starting the uber career.
but just to cover car expenses.
basically 2 fares before and after work.
and from 12 to 4 am on Friday and Saturday nights.
and no alcohol of any kind during months I'm employed by uber.

forgive the only about me post as this was pre-written in another app.
I thinking you all often. hoping you are all well.

Warning - LONG post - sorry!

Read back through a lot of posts . . .

Tillie, I get a mental picture of the cats protesting your pulling up the catmint - are they hoarders too? LOL! As my clutter club lady says, "They make more." Tell that to the kitties. It might reassure them. ;)

Porter, good for you for letting your rational mind keep your emotions from leading you into a bad choice with the sister-in-law. It's hard being disciplined on top of having so much work to do and stress, but keeping busy and marking your successes as you are doing leads ultimately to peace, I think. We can all learn from previous generations' mistakes as you did, commit to not making them ourselves, and if we do there's hope for humanity.

Joan, I know what you mean about the mental health system. My cousin suffered through so much - and the meds ruined her kidneys. She didn't want to have dialysis and she died two or three years ago in her 50s. I think she just wanted the struggle to be over. She was a brilliant and talented artist before the mental illness hit hard in her teens. But she had some symptoms even as a child that no one knew what to do about that long ago. May she rest in peace. I was thinking of going into a career in the field, but I was dealing with my own stuff and it was kind of triggering being around it, wishing to help people more, feeling like the "system" was broken, praying I never got stuck in it beyond the point of no return. So in the end I decided that career wasn't for me.

SubC - that's great about the people who can use your containers. I totally get what you mean about how when you make a plan and then plan your day around it, and it gets canceled, it can really throw you. I don't deal well with disappointment in general. Also - very wise of your daughter and son-in-law not to get entangled in student loans. I did, and they will haunt me to my grave unless I win the lottery. . . learn from my fail, I tell people.

Oh, and in answer to your question - it's just the storage unit that's getting moved in the immediate future. I rent a room/house share with a friend. I'm on fixed income, Social Security disability, and a slew of vehicle repairs drained the last of my reserves over the last couple of years. So I'm working on building some back. It's really slow, but I'm learning to pinch a penny till it begs for mercy!

Eventually I want to have a place of my own again. I wish it could be a house, but that'd take a miracle with my income and credit rating. Low income housing in my town tends toward the ghetto-scary. There are a few places for seniors, and I just turned 55, so I don't know if that's a possibility at some point. My hesitation with those is they have a lot of rules and I'm not your conventional renter. I have pet rabbits and would like to have a cat or two, for starters. It's going to be tricky finding the right place. But I defer those decisions because I have plenty on my plate.

Dealing with my hoard and clutter is the best thing I can do right now, today, to pave the way for a brighter future. Hoping at some point I'll find the right place, and my hoard will be pared down and I can just move into the new residence and eliminate a storage unit altogether. My roommate's house is not that big and I went from my parents' 3 br with basement house that got foreclosed, to apartments or friends' houses these last few years.

So I feel I need the storage unit even after I get rid of superfluous things, to store family memorabilia and my familiar carefully selected cookware, my books, art equipment, and so on until I set up housekeeping again. I'm not storing furniture; I don't even want much furniture. At first I was stubbornly holding onto my excess smaller things, but I've had a series of spiritual epiphanies that have enabled me to become not only willing, but enthusiastic, about downsizing. I've gotten rid of a lot of "stash" fabric and yarn, and much paper/magazines and knickknacks. I hope to have a place eventually that I have conceived as "Artsy Minimalist" in decor. It will be like an art studio/residence combined. I've started a Pinterest board for it.

Weather has sure slowed me down in getting the storage dealt with these two months. The rainstorms in my immediate area the last few days weren't as bad as predicted, but tonight there's one that they had thought might be severe. It seems to be less intense than predicted, unless something new develops overnight. In any case, I hope for no damage to my van. I'm going to look into some kind of hail protection blanket, since I have no garage and my van's so old, not insured comprehensive, and I have no money to replace a windshield. Tired of getting nervous when they predict hail. So far have been blessed we haven't gotten any, but in Kansas one never bets against the house.

The process of decluttering since my last post has certainly had its ups and downs for many reasons. I got a few new boxes (these are cardboard but smaller than the cardboard boxes I've been working on eliminating. These will just fit down inside plastic tubs. So I don't consider that reneging on my commitment to eliminate crummy old cardboard boxes full of papers and junk.

At the unit, I pulled out the biggest old box of ceramic bunnies, and three smaller boxes, sat down and went to work sorting. Also discovered a collection of frogs I'd forgotten about. Those had been pared down once, so not much to do but repack them in a small box marked "Frogs." The bunnies I started separating to donate a few more of for my bunny club's door prizes. And other items I found, old toys and such, I set aside for my church's garage sale in June.

I packed two of the smaller cardboard boxes and taped them up. What was left was very tiny bunnies that I wanted to wrap in tissue but I was out of tissue. By then it was getting late, and I needed to get home. So I decided I'd lay these bunnies carefully in a flat box to bring home and wrap at my leisure during the predicted rainstorm days.

That's when it began to fall apart. I'd been out there with minimal food and hydration. I try to see to these needs, but I guess I need to start taking a cooler with extra water and snacks. So I was getting irritable. Then a gust of wind knocked a lid onto the mini bunnies before I could pack them, breaking one. :( And then, I discovered two things - another fairly substantial sized box marked "Ceramic Bunnies," and through the side of a clear plastic tub, a bunch of fragile items including a couple of . . . you guessed it - ceramic bunny planters. And some memory stuff from my parents, several of those being fragile pieces.

The plastic tub in question was one that the social worker and I had done initially, a couple of months ago, when she was putting me onto the concept of getting rid of cardboard boxes and when I thought the moving from one storage unit to a closer one was going to be able to happen this spring. Now I'm not so sure if it will - I'll explain in another post.

Anyway, OCD person that I am, I decided that these ceramic bunnies too are going to be accounted for and packed in boxes before the move to another unit. This is because as I've said before, I don't want to be all jittery when there are helpers, and I don't want any helpers feeling guilty (or worse yet, having me get upset with them) if something does get broken. And in the process I can find a few more I don't want to keep.

So all of a sudden I had a bazillion new mental processes going on: I'll need more boxes, don't worry about the broken bunny it can be glued, better get these strewn out ones packed, I can separate the church donations from the other donations at home, and more. So I tossed my bag of trash and shut the unit, got in my van and off I went.

It was a warm day, I was hot, grubby, and irritable. I don't like to buy fast food and drinks if I feel I can make it home and not have to spend those pennies I'm pinching. But that drive was tiring and I got angry when I saw people not pulling over for an ambulance, and I was pretty frayed by the time I pulled onto our street.

And then it happened that I got home right at the same time as my roommate with all these things on my mind, and I confess I was pretty grumpy when she was trying to tell me about her day because I felt like my mind was trying to grasp everything and thoughts were slipping away, with the low blood sugar, dehydration, ADD, and just too much to do at once. And then I went out to the van to assess what to bring in, and discovered I had brought a freakin' SPIDER home with me! It proceeded to retreat in among the stuff in the van; I never could get close to kill it. I pray it stays hidden until it dies . . .

Finished up that day spreading a number of the items out on the lawn, and sitting in a chair with my boxes completing the sorting as the sun went down. Didn't care if the neighbors thought I was nuts. Still wanted to do more, but had to quit when the light was fading - and I was so tired I could barely move anyway, and I just HAD to eat and rehydrate.

That was Monday. Tuesday and yesterday I was busy with other things. Today was the first calmer day with no set agenda, and I sure have felt a lot better. Finally a chance to regroup - I still haven't done all the sorting, but I'm not as driven. Too tired to be driven! I took a nap this afternoon. It was lovely. Tomorrow maybe I can finish the sorting. There's more rain predicted. But if I time it right I can get the stuff indoors.

Like I said, ups and downs.

Hey everyone!

Very full from a business dinner. Cannot wait to crawl into bed!

Furniture I'm getting rid of is a clutter magnet but no drawers for storag. Just always piled with stuff. I do want to get rid of--hopefully this summer.

So full right now. Will ttyl! Keep up the good work!

Good morning everyone!

Porter, thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry that your daughter is going to lose her mother, but it sounds like you both have done an amazing job to create a supportive environment for her. It's good that she will have aunts that love her if there are things she wants to talk to a woman about.

You got rid of 110 bins? Wow!

Tatoulia, are the Christmas things in the current piece of furniture? I see the problem there.

Tillie, I hope the zombie apocalypse is over.

Hi Anony, did you finish your corner?

Yesterday turned out to be exhausting just getting through it. Fixed breakfasts, packed lunches, did basic chores and kept up with milk then off to school. (I teach part time - it's not a regular school, it's a support program for homeschoolers) the year is winding down and there are so many extra things that need to be done, plus yesterday had more than it's usual share of glitches.

Dropped recycling and trash, handed a cake pan off to my son in law, picked up a library book for dd, and went to the grocery store. The grocery store went really well in spite of my being exhausted. I did buy 4 bags of snacks in bags that will become garbage, but the bags are large enough that I can use them as trash bags instead of recyclable plastic grocery bags. And I remembered to ask for paper bags which the food bank needs.

Came home and pulled off dinner and evening chores, but my kitchen is a mess and I didn't touch papers or the guest room. I went to bed at 9:30 without setting my alarm, thinking that I would sleep until dh got up and do chores a little later today since I am home until 4. Woke up at 5:30 anyway, but feel more rested. A few more 8 hour nights would be good!

Today's music.

Riders on the storm.
I drove all night
Emotions
It's alright.
Hooked on a feelin

Something from the gaithers
I want to ride my bicycle.
Flight of the bumblebee
Lady in red
Ela Fitzgerald
Saturday in the park
Strut
Lola falana
Change , man in the mirror
Will you know my name
The belario
The dancing queen
Whip it!
I killed the sheriff
Muskrat love
Theme song from squad 51
Hello from the other side.
Us and them
Blade runner love scene.
Art school girlfriend
I want candy
Cannon ball
Forget paris

I remember something about living life without regretting your economies. I do not regret the decision to buy a large 60" tv for each bedroom , and 1 in the living room. I started a few years ago buying 1 a year. Donated all the tubes. My wife's eyes are failing her. But the screen is large and she says it's the one thing she sees well. Plus it acts like a night lite .
I imagine in the future we will get some vitamin D from them. And grow seedlings plants near them .

It's been in the mid 80s and the this house is usually within 4° of the outside temp. In summer.
All house GA e an issue or two. But I'll be glad to get out of this one.

Hi Anony
Hi CM
Hi TAT
Hi Tillie
Hi SubC

Yes my wife is terminally I'll.
Diagnosed 3 years ago with colon cancer.
She had it removed and chemo.
Last fall we had a terrible fight, I left and was told she had stage 4 liver cancer so I came back home. She had the lower half of her lived removed , but she is still jaundiced. Last month she was diagnosed with anger in the lining of intestines.
And that is very troubling, no doctor is will to operate or treatment being offered. She's in a great deal of pain. She's not ready to go to hospices. But will go to moms, instead where her step dad is a practicing RN.

She wanted to help me geyser up in my next place , to help our daughter get into the high school where most of her friends are going. It's an art charter school. The back up is she has two aunts that want her in their families. They couldn't be more different.
I've downgraded as much as I can to match my income to my housing and car expenses. Hopefully I'll be just fine while waiting to the $650 a month that social security will provide my for my daughter.
My plan was to find a transition home . Something that I afford alone while waiting for the benefit, but once the benefit comes , basically pays the rent.
I got lucky , in the amount of time we had to go d a place , I got one that accommodates all three of us. ,even more comfortably than the old house.

We've live with window air-conditioners for 18 years. Now moving to an air conditioned home.

And to address the hoarding issue.
Even though it has a large ,slightly damp basement.
For containing 90 tubs . I had over 200 tubs and various larger objects of clutter. It was all in piles.
After watching you tube about hoarding tips and decluttering videos .

I came away with the understand that I need to spend time with the hoard, in advance of a move.
I did this and got help from well wishers.
Those willing to help my wife. I organized a cleaning party , a Chili party the day before the super bowl . I had 3 teams AM , noon, PM
We went room by room , and cleared everything including carpet, we painted, replaced carpets, and moved furniture. I another team taking unsorted clutter I tubs to a second storage unit.

Over the next few months we sorted the clutter in the tubs , labeling ,photographing and creating usable friendly shelves.


I knew we would move at this time. End of May. At the completion of my daughter's 8th grade middle school. Her last day of school is the 25th our last day in home is the 24th.
But we had trouble with the home owner and the property manager both. And we're only given 20 day notice. We hoping to stay the summer. But now we're out.

Basically I had two weeks vacation coming from work. I have the option to cash it out.
So I cashed out 9 days which help me gain the security deposit. And luckily I get five checks in one month, so borrowed money from a relative for 1 month so I could pool more than enough to move.


My wife was struggling with utilities until I pointed out the amount that she is behind on the. winter natural gas bill will be the same as the deposit . So the remaining balance and deposit will cancel eachother.


We're , bundling the TV internet, and I'm forcing to eliminate smart phone.
Wife will go on her mother cell phone plan.

Daughter and I will go on home phone. And tablets.

Wife's disability is 2100 a month.
She's agreed to pay $500 a month once she goes to hospice care at her moms. That will be more than enough to get by on till the end.
She is reluctant to leave her daughter, and I'm OK with staying as long she wants. I was the main caregiver to my dad when he passed 20 years ago. I know what and how thing will go.



I was telling a friend at work about the situation.
And asked where he had been , I hadn't seen him for a few days. He said his wife died of heart attack. While we were working. And no o e knew how to reach him, he didn't get to say good bye.

So on one hand , my suffers , but on The othet she's had three years to help raise our daughter.
I'm not a doctor of course , so I don't know how much longer she has. But on the 24th of May.
We will be In High school phase. Which is what my wife has been getting up every morning for her daughter to go to a school of art.
Well done , my wife ,well done.

I've been working the other angle, and buying one instrument a year, for her to try and master. And for 3 years she's been in Glee.

Whatever lable we could put on our marriage.
We are basically just parents. And somewhat relateble to Tillie's arrangement of coexistence.
But she's helping me become stable from middle school to high school if she can. 1 week to go. And the ducks are in a row.

If that's not right Tillie then I apologize.

Hi everone!
There are loads of posts to catch up on! This board has gotten wonderfully active & mostly with stories of accomplishments!!! YEA!!!
I got a lot done yesterday & today id like to finish that kitchen corner...yes, the same one that spiders chased me from last summer!
Yall are complete over-achievers next to me! Im really bad about my cleaning speed, and decision making speed!
Tillie, i read your post about you & your partner & i hope that you can somehow create something new in your life? You have so much love in your heart to share & you are so deserving of love & you could create a beautiful home if allowed to....that is my reoccurring fantasy...a partner to help me! ~♡~

Good Morning :)

Great catching up with all your "going ons".
All day yesterday it was dark, cold and windy here.
So I played pretend make believe that it was the Zombie Apocalypse happening and the cats & I had to stay locked inside.
Worked good too even when a few cars went down the road, I just pretended that they didn't.
Rained here over night so I don't need to water anything for a few days.
Still very cold & windy today but at least the sun is shining.
:D

Good to catch up on everyone's progress. Porter you are much, much more of a planner than I am. By far. I can see how it helps you to put all the pieces of the puzzle together!

Keep up the good work, SubC! Very impressed with your progress. I am mulling over your suggestion of getting rid of the big piece of furniture before I get its replacement. I've been scouring the auctions and antiques store but I think you are on to something. I had so wanted a small chest of drawers, antique, which would give a home to my Christmas things. (That's another story but not worth re-telling). The only small things I find are tables, which wouldn't give me the storage I'd like. And I don't want anything modern or that would be used to make do in the meantime.

Yesterday I got home from work and my house was so cool. I'd gotten very warm on my walk home. And my bedroom, so clean and clear, was a pleasure to walk into. Just like the old days. So today I'm hoping to dust and vacuum it, so it stays in its pristine shape and so that I can hang onto that feeling.

Hi porter!

I didn't ignore you last night - we were writing our posts at the same time.

So you have not signed the lease on the new place yet? When do you plan to start moving? Do you know anyone who would like to come take (some of) the contents of your fridge/freezer so there is less to throw away?

When will you get to move to your new place?

Is your wife still able to help pay utilities? I came late to the party, so while I have gathered that she is terminally ill, I don't really understand what is happening with her or what kind of time you have left with her. I'm sorry.

I think it's fantastic that you have a plan to pay for your daughter's education! That is a huge gift. My daughter and son in law don't have any student debt, and it has made a huge difference in their lives vs the lives of their friends who are working now to pay off college. Dd got a good job and they were able to buy their first house at 24 and 25. (Son in law is an art teacher, which is a good job in other ways...)

Today I teach all day and I have to go to the grocery store.

I brought in 6 new pieces of paper today, so I need to get rid of seven. But I am worn out. I left the papers on the kitchen table - hopefully tomorrow I will deal with them and any new ones and purge two extra.

I took the pile to goodwill. It pretty much filled the back of my Ford Escape. Loosely though. I saved (besides the previous list) two books, a picture frame, a curtain rod I intend to reinstall after she moves out, and a bear. A big bear. I Just can't let the bear go.

While at goodwill I bought an two piece outfit. This is a good thing however. It is currently in the dryer. The top will go back to goodwill and the skirt will replace my current too long and a little too big red skirt - which will also go to goodwill. Plus a skirt that is so much too big I almost lost it last weekend, but I have accepted that I will not get around to taking it in, and it is one size past my "but I need something pretty to wear in my fat stage so I don't get depressed" size.

The guest room bed has a sweater drying rack (in use) and the bear on it. There are 4 piles on the floor that I think I can knock off at a one a day rate. I have 10 days before ds comes and have not addressed the dining porch.

Each day I postpone signing the lease I save $22.46 .
I have to prorate the following month.
So my expenses are application fee , first month , and matching deposit.
Truck rental + insurance.
Then 30 later the prorated rent for partial month.
Then on July 1st 1 full month.

The deal with my wife has always been I pay for rent, she pays for utilities. We pay for our own cars and gasoline.


So I'm just barely squeaking by.


The next house will be like this.

All electric.
Kitchen is on first level has portable dishwasher, and 6x3 butcher block table and 1 long wall of cabinets and drawers with counter/splashback. Double sink under windows and ceiling fan near sink. Large panty.

also on first floor, only bath , full bathroom...
1 bedroom, living room , dinning room. A medium porch with outside electrical outlet.

Basement , wide stairs , washer and dryer hook up,
Two room 6 foot height, IM 5'9. THE non laundry room for clutter in totes and is 12x15 1 extra electrical outlet for extra freezer. Heating and AC. Ceiling fans in every room.


The upstairs is 3 small rooms.
No hallway. Smallest room only big enough for an air matress.
Second largest room only big enough for a queen size bed. With TV mounted on wall.
Master bedroom will be used as common area ,
But will have a 60 inch TV , two drum sets electronic and percussion. A DJ table on an 8' counter with room for storage. And 1 large piece of sectional sofa to lounge on. So daughter and I will call it the lounge. Her belongings will kept in the lounge, her clothes In her bed room closet.

The outside is small. A small front yard and a small side yard. I have a lawnmower, and lawn equipment , not big enough for a large garden to many large trees to grow very much.

Live 2 miles from high school. 3 miles from major university.
20 miles from work.
Half mile from large market.
1 mile from large mall.
Ten minutes from Walmart.
3 minutes from hospitals
Half mile from public pool next to police station .
And half mile from 9 nation fast food chains.
Half mile from bad station.

As I'm gear up to be a uber driver. I live 1 mile from downtown bars. I feel I can supplement enough income to pay off the car in two years. But more importantly, separate my vehicle expenses from my full time job Income.

I'm trying set up so that I can pay all bills by myself. And when my wife passes, I'll not have need for roommates. But until social Security benefits apply to my daughter for the death of one of her parents. I'll be self sufficient, and will simply apply the social security towards her education fund. As well as a rainy day account, with heavy insurances.

I'm downgrading her smart phone to a non data plan phone. Forcing her to use broadband Wi-Fi.
And DD and I don't watch enough TV to need to pay for it. As long as we have Netflix and internet vids. There's plenty of free local TV and radio also. So my housing expenses are 1/2 my income.
And my car half of what's left. Leaves me $200 of disposable income.
If I drive for uber I'll be able to bump up to $1,000 a month.

But I also have 7% gross deducted into 401k and my employer matches 3% so it equals about $2000 a year. I have the 401K set up for education benefits. I estimate if I keep working for eight years it will be enough to pay for most of her education . And the what I dont pay for , she'll get from her mothers insurance.

I'm also looking for the goal to buy out the house I'm renting In Four years. And pay it off in 5 years. So it can be cheap housing for my daughter.
I sell it only to her for what I paid for it. After she graduates and after her education is paid in full.

Then if I'm still able I'll buy the the boat I want to live out the rest of days.

Big enough to charter , so I can help DD pay off any loan she may have on the house.
She can also rent it out. To help pay it off.

Well that's my plan. It's not the a perfect or wealthy plan. But if it's a 4 bedroom house that isn't filled with clutter it will feel like a castle to me.

Quick drive by before work.

Great job SubC/-I'll write more later! Keep up the good work. Remember to drink water, eat right and take breaks. It's hard yet you are strong!

Microwave is a hazard I'm afraid--I've had it for 25 years and it was used when I got it (yikes). There are people who come around looking for scrap metal and I'm sure this will get picked up. It is not like me to throw away something useable but this is really terrible. If no one picks it up for scrap, and the city picks up, then the city has a robust recycle program and it will go there.

Will write more later!

I am also sorry for the double posts.

I am on safari. But I think sometimes I just double tap by mistake. My hands are not always steady.

Tatoulia,

Is the microwave broken? Is there somewhere you could donate it where you could just drop it off when it works for you?

Good job on your dishes, laundry, and papers.

CM, are you moving homes, or just your storage unit? It sounds like you are making steady progress. I hope the weather cooperates. A clutter club sounds like a good thing.

Tillie, I'm glad you got a chance to get out in your garden. It sounds nice.

Porter, is the big move this week then? Exciting! Sounds like a good time with your daughter too.

I started listing and bagging up yesterday and got worn out - colors, textures, memories.... Do far I "rescued" a sweater, a shoebox full of small toys, and a little (coffee cup sized) bear from my Dd's pile. As a percentage, that is really good. I am letting some hard things go. Toys I made for her when she was little, souveniers from activities we did together or milestones in her life (the keychain her dad bought her on their trip to NY!), she threw away a bag of photos and I didn't even look at them!

I really need to finish bagging and take that stuff today! Dh and I had a fight last night (technically about an upcoming visit to his family, but it root because he came home and I was wiped out and hadn't made dinner) so I am exhausted and everything is harder. When things are not good with him, everything in my life is off. He's my center.

I am continuing to purge more paper than comes in and keeping the kitchen under control. The kitchen is harder than it should be and I am sick of it already, which is another thing that contributed to not making dinner.

I also really wanted to have lunch with a friend today and when I called him, he was busy. Phone calls are hard for me except to my mom and kids. And then the vision of my day collapsed because I was mentally planning it around lunch.

A good thing that happened yesterday - when I was at the food bank I talked to the gardener, and she says I can bring some of my non-recyclable plastic containers for clients to take home strawberries, and also, she knows a guy who can use almost all the other ones for his summer stand! Next week I am going to empty a whole laundry basket from my basement!

I have to go into work to take care of some things (unpaid :( ) today, so I will drop more recycling. I only have five more days of easy recycling drop. After next week I will have to figure out what to do over the summer.

Tatoulia,

Is the microwave broken? Is there somewhere you could donate it where you could just drop it off when it works for you?

Good job on your dishes, laundry, and papers.

CM, are you moving homes, or just your storage unit? It sounds like you are making steady progress. I hope the weather cooperates. A clutter club sounds like a good thing.

Tillie, I'm glad you got a chance to get out in your garden. It sounds nice.

Porter, is the big move this week then? Exciting! Sounds like a good time with your daughter too.

I started listing and bagging up yesterday and got worn out - colors, textures, memories.... Do far I "rescued" a sweater, a shoebox full of small toys, and a little (coffee cup sized) bear from my Dd's pile. As a percentage, that is really good. I am letting some hard things go. Toys I made for her when she was little, souveniers from activities we did together or milestones in her life (the keychain her dad bought her on their trip to NY!), she threw away a bag of photos and I didn't even look at them!

I really need to finish bagging and take that stuff today! Dh and I had a fight last night (technically about an upcoming visit to his family, but it root because he came home and I was wiped out and hadn't made dinner) so I am exhausted and everything is harder. When things are not good with him, everything in my life is off. He's my center.

I am continuing to purge more paper than comes in and keeping the kitchen under control. The kitchen is harder than it should be and I am sick of it already, which is another thing that contributed to not making dinner.

I also really wanted to have lunch with a friend today and when I called him, he was busy. Phone calls are hard for me except to my mom and kids. And then the vision of my day collapsed because I was mentally planning it around lunch.

A good thing that happened yesterday - when I was at the food bank I talked to the gardener, and she says I can bring some of my non-recyclable plastic containers for clients to take home strawberries, and also, she knows a guy who can use almost all the other ones for his summer stand! Next week I am going to empty a whole laundry basket from my basement!

I have to go into work to take care of some things (unpaid :( ) today, so I will drop more recycling. I only have five more days of easy recycling drop. After next week I will have to figure out what to do over the summer.

Day is over. I've gotten my trash out and I've shredded some papers. All laundry done & put away. I'm trying. Dishes done too/-dishwasher is running. Kitty has fresh place mat and fresh everything.

I'd like to force myself to get rid of microwave soon. According to trash rules, I can put it out as regular trash. I'm not sure how heavy it is. Maybe I'll be brave and take care of Thursday. I do have a dinner party that night and not sure how late I'll be. I'll make it my goal to get rid of by end of month.

I am desperate to get rid of more. I want more space.

Forgotten how much I like to clean and do chores while listening to
Hooked on classics

Heard one of those songs that trigger memories ling forgotten. Flooded with memories of the best and worst times of my life. I was moved to tears in front of my daughter. I said this is one of those days I'll remember forever, and not because I'm sad.
I love you.

If I could make a wish, I think I'd pass
Can't think of anything I need

No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound
Nothing to eat, no books to read

Making love with you
Has left me peaceful warm and tired
What more could I ask
There's nothing left to be desired

Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak
So sleep, silent angel, go to sleep

Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe, yes, to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe

Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak
So sleep, silent angel, go to sleep

Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe, yes, to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe

Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe, yes, to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe and to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe, yes, to love you

It's 82° and sunny.
The house is hot and hard walk though as so much has been moved Into place. .

We. An sing the lease tomorrow, but that means we're the new house will not be fixed of minor repairs until after we've moved in.

But at least we're on path for keys to the new place sooner than later or at the last minute.
I hadn't borrow money for family that owe me money.
A story for another day.


Today my daughter and I are on the very long sectional, listening to music eating pizza rolls.
We take turns casting videos tithe TV.
She's a rocker. Im head banger, but I'm almost 49.
So I have heard so many great songs , and try to expose her to music cultures of the past while we're in transition.
Knights in white saying
Riders on the storm
Wish you were here
Children of the sun
Aquarius
Radar love
Billy squire
Sail away
No one compares to you
I drove all night
One step beyond
Dream lover
David Bowie major Tom
On my lust today as my daughter gently sleeps.


Wife is having a struggle day. But we're tending to her needs , and I'm just keeping calm and playing on.

Great work, CM! I'm sorry the weather isn't cooperating but you are forging ahead! WTG! You are doing it and will do it.

I'm working in getting my house cleaner before summer. The heat and humidity make me hate the mess. Can I avoid the self-loathing this year? I think I can!!!

SORRY FOR THE TRIPLE POST!! Don't know what was going on - might be my browser but I checked a bunch of settings and couldn't find a solution. I've got Chrome; next time I'll try using it instead of Firefox and see if that works better.

Note: I've been having trouble posting since I updated my Firefox browser - unless it's not that. Has anyone else had difficulty the last week or so?

Semi-quick update on me, but I want to go back and read everyone's posts.

I've been going out to the storage unit and working on the sunny days. And guess what - we have more rain days predicted this week! Tomorrow night severe storms predicted. Pray that they aren't bad.

I always worry about my van getting hail (or blown away in a tornado). It's so old I only carry liability on it...I'd be up a creek without it. I'm phobic of public transportation (and our system's not that good) and also of walking or biking out of sight of my own street. I feel that need of a protective "shell" that my vehicle provides. And as a woman I've had too many creepy encounters in certain parts of this town to feel safe from crime on bike or foot, either, even if the phobia didn't already preclude those options.

The van also currently houses those of my possessions that can't fit in the house but that I need close by. Including only copies of writing manuscripts I need to scan into the computer, my good doll clothes/quilting fabrics, and misc. When I move to the closer storage unit, those will go there, and my van will be open and roomy again. But a lot needs to happen for the move to take place.

Along that line, as I said, I've been going out to the current unit. It keeps me busy and that's why I haven't posted here. Each day I intend to. Other things in life also - Mother's Day get together, pet sitting so my roommate could travel to see her mother, etc. Busy, tiring days.

That one day last week - Thursday or Friday maybe, I lose track - I did really well with a couple boxes of papers but then discovered about six hidden ones. Then Friday and/or Saturday, tackling those, good progress. Yesterday I'd have taken a day off but then I saw the weather forecast so decided to go while I could. But I had one large box of very assorted stuff and it was really jumbled and a b**** to deal with. I only got through about 1/3 of it. If I find it's driving me nuts, I may just repack it into one smaller box and go ahead and let it be moved to the new unit. Maybe letting it sit just a short while longer I can come at it fresh and do better. I don't want to get bogged down.

There remain a few more goals I'd like to make progress on before the move. I want to go through the ceramic bunny collection - my largest collection. I think I can pare it down, and pack the keepers in small boxes instead of one ungainly large box. Some artwork I haven't gone through - maybe some of those old canvases can just go bye-bye, unless I want to reuse them. Just get a general idea what's in that corner where they are.

Stuffed animals - if I can bear to part with any of them before the move, that'd be great. Greeting cards - I shudder to think, but if I could corral them together at least. All of the above are, of course, the things I'll be dealing with in more depth from the new unit.

And a few small clusters of loose stuff here and there that need to be bagged and just thrown into tubs for transport; they can be integrated into their proper places in the new unit.

In the paper sorting I have been doing the last few days, I've run across some of the more emotionally charged stuff - things that remind me of my late parents, of guys I went out with, of my breakdown that led to dropping out of grad school. But I think I'm stronger, thanks be to God, and I can look at that stuff and yeah, it tugs my heartstrings but I have hope for the future now, which is a powerful weapon against the way such things used to drag me down.

It's still a lot of work getting to where I want to get, though - so wish me luck! ;) With all the rain delays, and the heat of summer rapidly approaching, I'm not sure if I'll meet the goal of making the transfer to the other unit before it gets beastly hot. Or being tempted to wait until fall. I defer that decision till I get through some of the stuff described above. It may be that when I feel ready to move I'll be like, damn the heat, full speed ahead. We have our clutter club this week and I'll see my social worker there; I'll give her an update, and maybe she can see it from an objective perspective. I know right now I feel too close to the whole thing to think very clearly.

Note: I've been having trouble posting since I updated my Firefox browser - unless it's not that. Has anyone else had difficulty the last week or so?

Semi-quick update on me, but I want to go back and read everyone's posts.

I've been going out to the storage unit and working on the sunny days. And guess what - we have more rain days predicted this week! Tomorrow night severe storms predicted. Pray that they aren't bad.

I always worry about my van getting hail (or blown away in a tornado). It's so old I only carry liability on it...I'd be up a creek without it. I'm phobic of public transportation (and our system's not that good) and also of walking or biking out of sight of my own street. I feel that need of a protective "shell" that my vehicle provides. And as a woman I've had too many creepy encounters in certain parts of this town to feel safe from crime on bike or foot, either, even if the phobia didn't already preclude those options.

The van also currently houses those of my possessions that can't fit in the house but that I need close by. Including only copies of writing manuscripts I need to scan into the computer, my good doll clothes/quilting fabrics, and misc. When I move to the closer storage unit, those will go there, and my van will be open and roomy again. But a lot needs to happen for the move to take place.

Along that line, as I said, I've been going out to the current unit. It keeps me busy and that's why I haven't posted here. Each day I intend to. Other things in life also - Mother's Day get together, pet sitting so my roommate could travel to see her mother, etc. Busy, tiring days.

That one day last week - Thursday or Friday maybe, I lose track - I did really well with a couple boxes of papers but then discovered about six hidden ones. Then Friday and/or Saturday, tackling those, good progress. Yesterday I'd have taken a day off but then I saw the weather forecast so decided to go while I could. But I had one large box of very assorted stuff and it was really jumbled and a b**** to deal with. I only got through about 1/3 of it. If I find it's driving me nuts, I may just repack it into one smaller box and go ahead and let it be moved to the new unit. Maybe letting it sit just a short while longer I can come at it fresh and do better. I don't want to get bogged down.

There remain a few more goals I'd like to make progress on before the move. I want to go through the ceramic bunny collection - my largest collection. I think I can pare it down, and pack the keepers in small boxes instead of one ungainly large box. Some artwork I haven't gone through - maybe some of those old canvases can just go bye-bye, unless I want to reuse them. Just get a general idea what's in that corner where they are.

Stuffed animals - if I can bear to part with any of them before the move, that'd be great. Greeting cards - I shudder to think, but if I could corral them together at least. All of the above are, of course, the things I'll be dealing with in more depth from the new unit.

And a few small clusters of loose stuff here and there that need to be bagged and just thrown into tubs for transport; they can be integrated into their proper places in the new unit.

In the paper sorting I have been doing the last few days, I've run across some of the more emotionally charged stuff - things that remind me of my late parents, of guys I went out with, of my breakdown that led to dropping out of grad school. But I think I'm stronger, thanks be to God, and I can look at that stuff and yeah, it tugs my heartstrings but I have hope for the future now, which is a powerful weapon against the way such things used to drag me down.

It's still a lot of work getting to where I want to get, though - so wish me luck! ;) With all the rain delays, and the heat of summer rapidly approaching, I'm not sure if I'll meet the goal of making the transfer to the other unit before it gets beastly hot. Or being tempted to wait until fall. I defer that decision till I get through some of the stuff described above. It may be that when I feel ready to move I'll be like, damn the heat, full speed ahead. We have our clutter club this week and I'll see my social worker there; I'll give her an update, and maybe she can see it from an objective perspective. I know right now I feel too close to the whole thing to think very clearly.

Note: I've been having trouble posting since I updated my Firefox browser - unless it's not that. Has anyone else had difficulty the last week or so?

Semi-quick update on me, but I want to go back and read everyone's posts.

I've been going out to the storage unit and working on the sunny days. And guess what - we have more rain days predicted this week! Tomorrow night severe storms predicted. Pray that they aren't bad.

I always worry about my van getting hail (or blown away in a tornado). It's so old I only carry liability on it...I'd be up a creek without it. I'm phobic of public transportation (and our system's not that good) and also of walking or biking out of sight of my own street. I feel that need of a protective "shell" that my vehicle provides. And as a woman I've had too many creepy encounters in certain parts of this town to feel safe from crime on bike or foot, either, even if the phobia didn't already preclude those options.

The van also currently houses those of my possessions that can't fit in the house but that I need close by. Including only copies of writing manuscripts I need to scan into the computer, my good doll clothes/quilting fabrics, and misc. When I move to the closer storage unit, those will go there, and my van will be open and roomy again. But a lot needs to happen for the move to take place.

Along that line, as I said, I've been going out to the current unit. It keeps me busy and that's why I haven't posted here. Each day I intend to. Other things in life also - Mother's Day get together, pet sitting so my roommate could travel to see her mother, etc. Busy, tiring days.

That one day last week - Thursday or Friday maybe, I lose track - I did really well with a couple boxes of papers but then discovered about six hidden ones. Then Friday and/or Saturday, tackling those, good progress. Yesterday I'd have taken a day off but then I saw the weather forecast so decided to go while I could. But I had one large box of very assorted stuff and it was really jumbled and a b**** to deal with. I only got through about 1/3 of it. If I find it's driving me nuts, I may just repack it into one smaller box and go ahead and let it be moved to the new unit. Maybe letting it sit just a short while longer I can come at it fresh and do better. I don't want to get bogged down.

There remain a few more goals I'd like to make progress on before the move. I want to go through the ceramic bunny collection - my largest collection. I think I can pare it down, and pack the keepers in small boxes instead of one ungainly large box. Some artwork I haven't gone through - maybe some of those old canvases can just go bye-bye, unless I want to reuse them. Just get a general idea what's in that corner where they are.

Stuffed animals - if I can bear to part with any of them before the move, that'd be great. Greeting cards - I shudder to think, but if I could corral them together at least. All of the above are, of course, the things I'll be dealing with in more depth from the new unit.

And a few small clusters of loose stuff here and there that need to be bagged and just thrown into tubs for transport; they can be integrated into their proper places in the new unit.

In the paper sorting I have been doing the last few days, I've run across some of the more emotionally charged stuff - things that remind me of my late parents, of guys I went out with, of my breakdown that led to dropping out of grad school. But I think I'm stronger, thanks be to God, and I can look at that stuff and yeah, it tugs my heartstrings but I have hope for the future now, which is a powerful weapon against the way such things used to drag me down.

It's still a lot of work getting to where I want to get, though - so wish me luck! ;) With all the rain delays, and the heat of summer rapidly approaching, I'm not sure if I'll meet the goal of making the transfer to the other unit before it gets beastly hot. Or being tempted to wait until fall. I defer that decision till I get through some of the stuff described above. It may be that when I feel ready to move I'll be like, damn the heat, full speed ahead. We have our clutter club this week and I'll see my social worker there; I'll give her an update, and maybe she can see it from an objective perspective. I know right now I feel too close to the whole thing to think very clearly.

Thank you for the lovely story, SubC. I enjoyed it immensely. All of it.

I think I will get rid of microwave this week. It is time. And I'll see what happens to the stuff on top. Maybe 20% could move out?!?

After that, I'll take a deep breath and see about that piece of furniture.

I'll check the trash rules on microwaves now.

Tatoulia, it sounds like you hoard the way my grandmother did. She had a huge, beautiful house, and it was full! Everything in it was nice and clean and orderly, and she knew exactly where everything was. Near the end we had to move newspapers, magazines, and catalogues off of chairs and tables when we visited, but she always let the cleaning lady throw them out now and then, so it never got to be a huge problem.

When she died it took a year to empty the house. First, my mom and uncle and aunt took the things they wanted. Then the grandkids came and took the things they wanted. Then the great grandkids. 14 people (and spouses). My cousin filled a uhaul van twice. I filled a pod. My mom redid her entire dining room.

two antique dealers came through the house - one who specialized in toys and one general. The toy guy came back 4 times because we kept finding stuff he thought sounded interesting.

Things were donated and sent off to distant relatives and old friends. Then there was a two day estate auction. At the end of the auction, the auctioneer left with a truck load of items to sell at other auctions he holds regularly with specialized themes.

Then began the sorting of "where can we donate this, might as well keep this, I guess this is trash."
We did put her sofa at the curb. Someone took it within hours.

When "normal" people hear the story, they say how awful, and they never want to burden their children like that. But my mom said it was a gift. She and my grandmother were incredibly close and she feels like having that year when she got to keep going to gram's house and be surrounded by her things and so many memories helped her work through her grief. The actually work kept her busy and the letting go was slow and tangible. She thinks if the estate had been settled and disposed of quickly she would have collapsed.

Anyway, about your microwave and piece of furniture - can you simply remove the microwave and put the items directly on the surface below it? Do you need the piece of furniture because it is serving a purpose? How do you feel about living with the empty space for a while?

Great progress SubC!

My friend is an artist and designer who lives overseas. She has decorated many homes in Europe & the Mediterranean. She saw my house two years ago. I have a lot of stuff but each room is usable and passable. A lot of things stuffed into closets and hidden under the bed. Just a lot. Lots. Every cupboard filled, pretty much every surface piled. (Not as true as it once was but still pretty accurate). I still want to let go of more--Tillie always reminds us that space is important--it's an object in its own right. My friend was here after I did the major clean out, which included getting rid of every thing in a giant off-site storage space. My friend owns a lot of things, as she has more than one home.

I have very high ceilings and beautiful antique columns in my home. They caught her eye. She and I antique when she is in the states, and it was this recent trip when she offered to do my place. I have no doubt that it will be beautiful. Although she knows I have too many things, she doesn't see it as hoarding the way I do. So it's not exactly a reward-although I will reap the benefits, it is more of her desire to tackle a new place. I'm sure after she's done with mine she will try to get my BF to agree to have her arrange and do his place. He has beautiful art and antiques. She was instrumental in his acquisition of a stunning antique desk, and she really inspired him to start going to auctions and antique stores.

I am using this as a chance to continue in my quest to get rid of stuff. I find it very distracting and upsetting to have so much stuff. I want cleaner surfaces and not so much stuff to deal with. I will do what I can to move toward a 20% reduction. I want space. I want open space.

I have one piece of furniture that I am looking forward to consigning. It is too large and tends to gather clutter. I am hoping that I can find its replacement before I let it go (I know exactly what I want) but sometimes I wonder if I should just get rid of it first. My consignment shop said they'd love to have it.

I need to get rid of my microwave in the kitchen. I don't know what's stopping me. I just don't want it anymore. It takes up too much room. I want the space. But I have a million objects on top of it. (Formerly a million and a half, so I claim progress). Little tiny things from my childhood like little figurines and an old Mrs Butterworth syrup jar. But all the old tiny glass jars and beads and glass this and that have been removed and donated.

See how awful this is for me? Just terrible. I used to have probably seven different comforter/bedspreads which I changed frequently. I've eliminated those. I've gotten my towels under control. I'm a giant work in progress.

And so the struggle continues.

Hi tatoulia,

Happy Mother's Day back and to all. My oldest called me today and wished me a "happy mothers against war day" because she knows I am anti Hallmark holiday. She donated diapers to a mom in need in my name.

I'm doing laundry too. I'm starting to get a picture of what you are doing with your space and it sounds exciting. Is the redecorating a reward for clearing out?

I'm glad you have help with your mom. We kept my grandmother in her home until we lost her at almost 101, and her cleaning lady was essential!

Good luck on your reduction plan!

Tillie, did you get out in your garden? I did. I pulled weeds and picked a baby greens salad. Your home sounds better than I was imagining. I was afraid he had hoarded you into one small room.

Maybe in my family we should call today "mothers against hoarding day" because when I called my mom, she was working on her stuff. She has big plans for when I go to visit in July, but I know we will only do a tiny part.

But my dd attacked her room! Dh would say she hardly did anything, but I think it looks really good. It's very close to "clean" (there are two small bins of stuff on the floor that simply have nowhere to go and her desk is not really usable.) she purged clothes and 5 pairs of shoes, toys (I have to confess that I will probably rescue a few of the toys for my grandchildren bin), books, and decorative stuff.

I worked a little bit in the guest room. It is still hoarded, but, I cleared off the bed and then put my goodwill stuff on it for dd to add to. So, tomorrow I make a list for taxes and Tuesday I go to goodwill, and hopefully the bed will be cleared off. Ds called today too and I am looking forward to seeing him!

Checking in.

Doing laundry. Dishwasher has been run and I've emptied it. Doing some work so I can get a jump on tomorrow.

Had a great visit with mom today. Really nice time just hanging around. I puttered. I am keeping up with her household chores. She had someone doing her personal laundry now and someone to change her sheets. Lifts a bit of pressure off of me.

I'm going to keep working and doing laundry; haven't changed my sheets yet.

Hope you are all good. SubC, I enjoyed reading about the state of your rooms. You are doing a good job! Joan glad to hear from you again!

Hope everyone continues to move forward. I have to work on my 20% reduction plan! I have a large bag of clothes ready to go to a clothing consignment. I only chose things that are new, with tags, that I wish I'd never bought. All other clothes go to goodwill.

My interior designer will help me with my artwork. She will see which pieces will work and which pieces I can consider consigning. I have to tell myself it's okay for my tastes to change. She will work with everything I already have and other than drapes, chandelier, painting, wallpapering, will not be looking for me to buy new things. She expects to be back in US in the fall. Fingers crossed. In the meantime, I must edit, edit, edit.

Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
Thank you ((((HUGS))))
Have a pleasant day with your Mom :D

Hi Subclinical :)
My house is very tiny but all except his bedroom it is all clear and clean.
A small rectangle of yard in front of the house I have made into a pretty garden area.
It's the huge garage, carport and acreage he still has deeply cluttered.

Hi Porter :)
Having that basement space all to yourself is what you need.
A place to do your projects and a place to store the bins without paying to store them. ;)

Hi Joan :)
Thank you (((HUGS)))

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Hi CriticalMass :)

Thinking later today it might be nice enough to spend time in the garden.
The cat mint (catnip) is taking over and needs to be thinned down.
All the cats howl and fuss when I start pulling out their mint but it needs to be done.
Right now it's 55 degrees and a brisk breeze is blowing.
This morning I will just wander around in the house and think about all the chores I could be doing but I'm not.
I don't wanna and nobody can make me. :D

Everybody, have a GREAT Sunday :)

Good morning and Happy Mother's Day, everyone! I think we all know women who have been maternal and kind! I was very touched to receive a very loving card (a real card!) from a dear friend who grew up with a drug-addicted mother. The Mother's Day card thanked me for taking good care of everyone and being open and available and maternal. I know that in addition to my mom, I have been fortunate to have caring women in my life. (I'm looking at you, Tillie).

We are having a grey rainy day. I'm doing laundry and will make breakfast in a little while. This afternoon I will spend with mom and maybe watch a tv show or movie. I really can't get her out in this weather--too hard to keep her dry and comfortable in her wheelchair.

In the meantime, I'm looking to do some laundry and change my sheets. I also need to do some work, as I'm hoping to skip out early tomorrow.

So, what are you doing today? Thinking of you all and thanking you for supporting me. We can do this!

Hi Joan!

Porter, I think that buying your house sounds like a good plan. Also I really like your basement concept.

I am someone who likes to leave projects out and go back to them too, but it drives dh nuts. I am supposed to have the basement, but the basement is dark and cold and I am seasonal. Also, it serves too many functions.

This is the state of my environment right now:
Basement (2 rooms) - 1 hoarded, 1 functional
First floor
Kitchen - clean
Living room - clean
Dining porch - hoarded
Laundry room - functional
Guest bath - clean
Guest room - hoarded
Second guest room - hoarded
Dd's room - functional
Dd's bathroom - functional
Second floor
Our bedroom - functional
Our bathroom - clean
Dh study - clean

My house sounds big, but the rooms are small, and the second floor is a half story, so the "full height" (7' ceilings) area is only 6 ft wide.

We also have an animal barn - functional, and a big semi-finished barn that holds cars, tractors, dh shop equipment, storage, and my pottery studio. It currently ranges from clean to hoarded by area (very clean area around dh car and tools, storage area that looks like we had an earthquake, barely functional studio....)

"Clean" means that I could have it ready for company in half an hour to half a day simply by doing normal pick up and surface cleaning.

"Functional" means I can use it for it's intended purpose, but there are barriers that have to be worked around and the only way it wold be company ready tomorrow would be if I grabbed a bunch of stuff and stuffed it in another room.

Ds is coming home with his gf in 12 days, so I need to get the guest room and dining porch up to clean. They were clean at Christmas time, so they are not too bad, but I have a lot of projects and "horizontal files" out. I'm sure some of it will get stuffed in the basement.

"Hoarded" means no one will be using this room for it's intended purpose today. Maybe next week. Maybe not.

I'm so glad to hear from Joan too.

Yes I'm very much looking forward to the BASEMENT
I'm basically going make it surrounded by counters .
I had that way when I had a garage. It will fit the ADHD tendencies. If I have 40 feet of counter space then I can keep projects out and unfinished.
I typically loose parts or pieces when I put things them away. And when use lists and to-do. Boxes
I'm more productive.

Like packing long term Storage's. Repair things like favorite can openers, or lawn stuff.
But like now, if my actual work space is too small to multi task then I get into trouble completing tasks. Wife's things then get piled on top of my projects. Like my stuff is not important enough to box up. No she can't get to it. I feel a bit selfish getting so much space all to myself.
We may possibly get along better when my crap isn't being mixed up with her shit. Or my daughters things.
Nor on the dinning room table when I'm obsessed about a project. Like the guy in close encounters of the third kind , making a mountain in his living room that he explain. I don't want the hoard down there. I want the creative outlet. So I'll be spending time, money, and effort Into making it both. Hoard on one wall,laundry on another and projects on the other two.

Secondly. I'm going to start saving money to buy the home as its cheaper than dirt built in 1901.
So ivw been thinking about how to do both.
Buy the house which is close to a college. And pay for the tuitions to that college. So that what I pay for her live on campus, I can buy off campus. And if I pass away , or move away she can rent the other rooms. During college years to peers .

Sorry, I forgot you aren't married.

PS - Tillie, you do know that if you reach full retirement age (66+ for us) and the marriage lasted at least 10 years, you can collect about half of his social security if you divorce him. You get more if he dies later on (survivor benefits).

From one survivor to another.

Porter and Tillie, I appreciate you both sharing so much.

I have had life-long medical issues, but only discovered I could not work after I was married. After trying to turn things around for a while, my then-husband dumped me because of my "mental illness". I couldn't work either. Once you got dumped into the old mental health system, even with deinstitutionalization, you were better off dead. The drugs alone killed everyone I knew back then.

I am a 35 year veteran of the mental health systems in 3 states. I left when the system here in RI began to crumble for lack of funding, and they booted me out. I sued for alimony during the divorce process, and got some in 1987. With alimony I survived for many years. There are new divorce laws in Massachusetts that are unconsciousionably cutting off older women from long-term alimony in their 60s and older. After a long battle I lost my alimony last fall, but I am all right financially because I have a small inheiritance.

Tillie, you are a very courageous woman. All things considered, I have ended up in a good place, but boy did I have to fight for it. Much more needs to be done for people who just cannot produce or work to support themselves. In this still-cutthroat society, the healthy who are lacking in compassion must be disenfranchised. I deserve a good life regardless of my ability to work.

Anyway, that is me. Take care, everyone.

I live more than 2000 miles away from Carson City
:(

Wow. Now I am sad.

Tillie I can already tell you have an amazingly good heart! I wish I could be your rl friend. I want to find you a way to leave and have your own little cleAn, neat place where you can be happy and not to be imprisoned by filth.

Porter, I think your new place sounds great! One of my goals is to have all the things I don't use frequently (every week? Month at least). In bins on my storage rack. But I will need a bigger rack or less stuff. Still, I am (very) slowly making progress. Do you hope to eventually get the hoard all into the basement and not have to pay for the storage place? Or all into the storage place and not have it in your basement?

If my mil said she would never eat at my house again, I would be like "and the down side of that would be?" I think your dishes sound super clean. I don't know if you could eat at my house - dishwasher with no heat and then air or sometimes towel dry (I bleach the towels). If I were going to eat at your house I would want to bring my own flatware because the plastic would upset me - bring it and take it home to wash. Also, I'd want to take your plastic flatware home and wash it and put it out in the lunch room where I work. But I probably wouldn't ask. One thing I want so much in my life is people I could actually have that conversation with and not feel like they thought I was really weird and didn't want me around.

My job is my best place. Friday the seniors covered the whole second floor with bubble wrap for their prank, and I asked them to put it in my room when they cleaned it up, and then I rolled it up and am going to cut off pieces for packing projects to go home, because even though it is mostly popped, when you scrunch it up, it is still padding. And my boss said "I love it! ( SubC) is always there with a solution!"

I know it will still end up in the landfill eventually, but not on my watch.

My ankle is a little better but still slowing me down.

I have read buried treasures, but it didn't really help me much. It was a long time ago, and maybe I wasn't ready for it. The book that helped me the most was "Stuff: compulsive hoarding and the meaning of things". I got it out of the library and thought I was going to laugh at it, but then I kept thinking "yes! That's me! Oh my gosh, yes!" And it helped me really understand what was going on in my head, which gave me a handle to help change things. I suggested it to my cousin because I thought it would help her understand her dad and maybe relate to him in a way that would help, but she said it just depressed and frightened her.

My kitchen is good. My paper load is down. I am up total two and a half gallons of milk, so I need to make more cheese or some ice cream. Good thing - dd decided to try the milk in her smoothly this morning instead of yogurt because the fruit was too thick. She hasn't lived here for three years and I guess she forgot how good the fresh goat milk is. When she drank the first sip, she said "oh my gosh! That is so much better than yogurt!" So no more big plastic tubs coming into my house, and someone to help enjoy the milk (we are at peak flow right now - when you have your own goats, most of the year there is too much or too little, so I try to freeze milk, cheese, ice cream, etc for the "too little" time.)

That's exactly what I've been doing.
I found one , and bought it for $60

Wouldn't you know it, mother in law disapproves.
She worked as receptionist at a appliance repair man in rural area. She says they cause and is the reason her daughter is sick. Ugh!

I bought it anyway , I tried to avoid the did issuing but mother in laws true colors couldn't contain herself. And blasted away.

I said its more likely what she was eating on the plates than how they were washed. She pointed to mold around the liner. I'm like. Hey, I'm more concerned with mold growing in unwashed dishes.

Not to mention. , I got rid of plastics, and China.
Only Pyrex glass bowls and pie plates. That way I. An see through the plates and use a green scratch pads to Scrub anything visible.

She just scoffs and says she will never at at our house. I just roll my eyes. I use bleach I. 1 cap full to a gallon and spray on After washing. Do dry and kill, I use anti bacterial soaps. And RE rinse and two Apr t before serving. I don't even wash the flatware anymore . I only use plastic disposable forks and spoons. So they are just tossed out , $4 a month.

It's when they cook. They don't clean as they go.
They don't like my fish and fasting approach. O they fix messy foods and demand since I didn't cook it I should Clean. Its a catch 22.

But I dont care anymore.
I will be using the dishwasher if I wash pots and pans. Rather than soaking them in the sink .
And then wash them by hand. When I put away and rinse before serving.

I know bleach is toxic. I use correctly. Just the cap on the bottle, in one gallon of water. Other wise I'm poising my environments. But use straight bleach on toilet bowls. And use rubber gloves.

And sinks and showers I scrub by hand and spray the bleach water on And air dry.

I hear what she's saying , but feel like she wants me to do it here way or no way. I've offered for to take over the chore herself. So she have the standard met, and she does on Days she's here.
But she wants me to do it her way when she's not and she's sometimes gone for ten days or more.
.
I just keep paper and foam plates available if anyone isn't happy with my glass and scratch pads.

They were so mad when I threw out the plastics.
I think that may have been a factor , she's was always nuking plastic containers in the microwave.
And eating straight from the microwave.

I try to earn my opinions by looking up information of the internet, with a grain of salt. But I know half of world microwave ovens are banned. So I use them with caution .
Like I turn on
For example
I turn on the stove ,and put a pot with a tiny amount of water in it . Then microwave the rest of the water in a glass . Then pour the water in the pot. It makes stove top steaming very fast.

Mostly I use frozen vegetables due to salts in canned foods.

So heating up the stove takes longer. I use the microwave to heat water much faster than waiting boil. Usually in 2 minutes I can have a pot of boiling water. And that's what I use to sterilize dishes that were once dried and stuck on foods.

But I cant get the woman to listen.
She may have time to wash dishes. In the clean as she goes method. When I cook , I do clean as I go.
But 3-5 days a week I get pots pans and bowls with dried and burnt foods In half way filling the sink.
So half is soaked and half is just a burnt and stuck on mess.

So I just don't care anymore.
The portable dishwasher is my way. Until someone else wants to do it their way first.
Not to mention. Everything's else I do. Cut grass, porches, toilets,sinks, refidgerators, microwave.,tables and counters, under couches and beds , cars , trash , and vacuuming. I even adjust the thermostats, manage air-con, ceiling fans , smoke detectors and pay bills.

I MEAN. GAWLEE, dishwashers are designed to steam sterilize . My dishwasher leaked . And she came one time when I was being invaded by ants. .
In the very room where cookie baking wife spills alot of sugar. MIL sees this and says I'll never eat at your house again.

You know what I was thinking. Right ?

BA-BYE!

Still this argument exists.



I read the below post after writing, Tillie.
I understand . I've been unhappy a long time and have similar issues. I have wanted to leave many times, but it would moving away from my daughter.
Last year I was hit with a frying pan. The argument that led to it was ridiculous on her part and I was a jackass, I was gone two days when my mom told.be my wife was at the cancer center. I went to see if we're true. 20 days later they removed half her liver. She begged me to come back because she can't do it alone. But she gets mad and unreasonable.
And yet I still sign a new lease with her.

I wish I knew how to be happy with her. I wish I knew .

I will be your friend forever, Tillie.

Good Morning Everyone :)

Hi Porter :)
The new place sounds GREAT!
Keep an eye out for one of those portable full size dish washers.
You just roll them over and hook them to the sink, wash dishes & then roll them back out of the way.
They do as good a job as built ins.
Since the basement is damp...
Keep the storage bins away from the walls a few inches and leave space between them for dry air to circulate.

Hi Subclinical :)
Hope your ankle is better today.
Read on the other thread how you are helping your daughter sort her things.
A great book for you both is "Buried In Treasures".
It helps you to make those tough toss/keep/donate decisions.

Hi Tatoulia :)
How wonderful that you got to come home to a much clearer home! :D
When I help to do a decluttering project I don't concentrate on cleaning much.
My main focus is to clear spaces and put there what will now go there and then getting the excess stuff out of the home.
Then when it's all nice and organized it can be more easily cleaned on a later date.
The "HOARDERS" tv show has a cleaning crew that comes in after the decluttering and cleans but we can't expect one person to do the same job as a whole crew can.
So be happy and enjoy all your newly cleared spaces and don't fret that there is still cleaning to do.
There will always be cleaning to do, it's a dusty world. (((HUGS)))

Hi CriticalMass :)
Hi Anonymoniker :)

It's COLD today.
Snowing in Carson City! :o
Had plans to water and pull a few weeds today but my plans have changed.
Will now straighten up my closet and dresser drawers.
Everything is where it goes but could be tidier, less just tossed in.