Thank you Tillie.

Actually, the dolls will not go in the addition. The addition is going to be a very open and flexible space with carefully curated decor. The guidelines are going to be in part - we both love this, but either it is incredibly durable or we don't love it so much that we will be upset if the sometimes out if control grandson of our hearts breaks it. (I have a daughter who is not related to me by blood or law and she has a son. I call her my "heart daughter")

The dolls will eventually have to have a space in the basement I think. I can't come up with a way to turn any other space in our house into my own space to withdraw from the world, and so, that will have to be it. Other things will come out to make room though. Books will go in the addition, and furniture, and kitchen/pantry things. And when everything is settled, I will be able to see what I have to work with and obtain new types of shelving to display the collection where I can enjoy it and only share it with people I choose.

Tatoulia,

Thank you too for the words of support! I'm glad your evening went so well! Sorry you have to go to work today.

I have a bunch of homework to do for my class tomorrow. Also have to go to the animal pharmacy for a sick goat (tummy troubles) and the grocery store so I can feed my company. My friend and her son are touring local colleges today, but her daughter is staying here. She's 14 and self sufficient. Yesterday she brushed the bunny for me and then played with her for two hours. And by "played" I mean "watched her hop around and held out tempting green tidbits to be nibbled."

*thoroughly cleaned toilet. Sorry for typos.

Tillie I'm glad you got to sleep in today! Oh boy that heat! Good thing you got the plants watered.

Humidity is much lower here today. It game me a chance to work on the bathroom since I wasn't ssweating to death, I completely cleaned thtounket and in going to go finish th vanity. I did some work on the tub. I did my usual Monday laundry today. And I worked on papers too. So some progress.

We did get out with brother. He was struggling today and at first wanted to cancel dinner but I was oat ring and asked him an hour later if he had reconsidered, and he had, so we went . He was very very quiet and a little abrupt during dinner but he ate well and ebpven managed to have a laugh or two by the end of the night. Mom had a great time and that meant a lot to me,

I'm going to putter some more and get ready to go into the office, generally I love Sunday nights since I'll be working from home on Mondays. Tonight is not one of those lucky Sundays.

Hi Everybody :)
Iced tea "clink!"

Hi Tatoulia :)
It's about time you and your family had GOOD times (((HUGS)))
You do amazingly well dividing your time and attention between Mom, Brother, Kitty, work and tending to your home.
I prefer to wear dresses all the time too but when Winter gets so cold, I wear jeans.

Hi Subclinical :)
Thanks for the offer of sharing your rain :D
When anyone comments on your dolls,
remember that "we" here have already discussed them and found your doll collection to be a work in progress.
You plan to make a display of them in the new addition and you have been making decisions to keep the best and let the rest go.
This collection makes you happy and YOU should have this happiness.
We here all think you are doing very well and nobody else's opinion matters ;D

Woke up about 6am today and planned to go out and water the flowers while it was still cool.
But... I rolled over and slept until about 8:30.
Still went out to water the flowers because the temp today is 104 and they are really suffering out there.
While out there a Hawk flew low over me carrying a very limp baby cotton tail bunny.
So sorry baby bunny but happy the Hawk ate well today. ;P
The circle of life.
Been puttering around inside doing a bit of this & that, here & there.
It's been a good day :)

We've missed you. SubC! Happy to hear that you are actively working on keeping the input lower than it was! I am sorry your friend made you feel defensive. They are your dolls and you love them. I don't know why people go into other people's home and comment on the decor. (Btw, when my friend said you have too much stuff, I was in the midst of reducing so it was helpful not hurtful/-but if someone came in and said, you have too much stuff I'd be crushed)

Thank you for your kind words. I'm barely keeping my head above water with the family stuff. It eats away at me and jerod me up at night and then sadly I use it as an excuse not to do stuff around here.

Che the putter music.

Iced tea clinks!

Coffe clinks!

My internet was out all day yesterday and part of Friday.

Porter, I'm sorry your friend made you feel bad. But I feel much better knowing that you are checking on zoning rules and such. Your boulder circle sounds very cool!

I am a hoarder. It doesn't bother me. Using different words won't change anything. Two of my girls are alcoholics. They don't drink, but they are still alcoholics. It's part of their genes.

My house is much better, but I still have difficulty discarding items. I am still driven to over shop at the grocery and gather unwanted materials of many kinds and repurpose "trash". I still have trouble with executive function and decision making. I am very comfortable in crowded disorder. Now that I am doing better people try to reassure me by telling me I am not a hoarder. I don't find this reassuring. It dismisses how hard it is for me to be where I am. As if I did a long walk on crutches and then when I said "I walked 5 miles!" I was told "well, you're able bodied."

But one of my best friends is here visiting. She arrived last night. And she commented on the dolls in the guest room. The words were neutral, but the tone was critical. That made me feel sad and hurt. She is not someone I normally have to feel defensive around, and there are very few of those people, so it was more painful than it might have been.

My chart is quick and easy. It is just a little check for each room. Most rooms will be "same" every day. " Same" is good.

Anony, it is great that you are making progress! Doesn't it feel good? I always feel much lighter after I manage to take a big step like that. I will be very happy if I can meet you at "done" in three years! I am going to need at least another year to finish my addition. Right now I am painting it and getting almost nothing else done.

I'm really sorry you have to deal with pain around your family stuff. I hope you can find a solution that brings you comfort. Families can be really hard.

Tillie, you are taking good care of the cats. I wish I could send you some of the rain we have had lately. my yard is a muddy mess.

Tatoulia, that is great about your brother and your mom! It's not like you are paying your mom's friend to be her friend, you are paying her for her home health aide skills so that she doesn't have to sell them somewhere else during that time and can be with your mom.

Congratulations on your new summer dress, Tillie! I love a summer dress. I rarely wear pants. I like dresses and skirts best. I could use some new clothes right now but I'm unhappy with my weight and would prefer to wear what I have for now. I have enough work clothes, esp since I am home two to three days a week. I don't really have enough casual clothes. But that's neither here nor there in the long run.

Took a bag of miscellany to goodwill today. Love passing my things on. Love it. Feels so good to just get the bag filled and out.

Heard from mom. She is still high as a kite and she told me the friend said she's coming next week. I have devised s plan with overseas friend re paying for visits three times a month. It'll work just fine. My BF likes the idea too and since he also knows and loves the woman, he thinks it'll be great if we can get her a couple of times a month. They can go for wheelchair walks or to the museum ir just stay in and have tea. I'm pretty excited about seeing my mother so happy.

We are taking mom and brother out for dinner tomorrow night for brother's birthday. He has chosen a fairly nice restaurant. I'm excited. He has come a long way. Not even ten years ago his mental illness prevented him from going into restaurants or public places. And now he's suggested a fairly nice restaurant. I'm pleased for him.

Puttering.

Hi Everybody :D

Awww, thank you Tatoulia (((HUGS)))
So happy your Mom had a good time visit!
That would be so nice if you could arrange more teas for her.
So relieved that your Brother visit went lovely! ;D
Happy your humidity is behaving for you too!

Hi Porter :)
Seems now-a-days people are quick to label everybody as a hoarder if they have more than a few meager possessions.
Like if we are not all radical minimalists we must then be hoarders.
I too have faced the judgment and harsh words when people see all the clutter in the yard and decide that as a woman it's my place to clean it up.

Hi Anonymoniker :)
WTG!!! FANTASTIC! that your kitchen is almost there!!! (((HUGS)))
Enjoy that great feeling you are getting from seeing what you've done!

HI,HI,HI to everyone! :)

Got up super early this morning and went to town to fetch some water.
My well water is good to drink but the minerals in it clean me out, so I get different water. LOL
Stopped by the thrift shop and found a beautiful summertime dress, new, never worn or washed before for 5.00 :D
Now I need to decide which dress I already have will be tossed.
One in, one out is the rule.
Won't be too hard since I have 2 dresses that have seen better days to choose from.

Anony, congratulations on your hard work in the kitchen! So good to hear you happy!

Tillie the humidity was much better starting last Sunday. Today it's a little heavy but we are expecting thunderstorms followed by cool air tonight. It was cool enough last night for having the windows open and the ceiling fan on.

Mom so enjoyed her company last night. Mom called me around 9 PM and sounded happy and excited. She said they enjoyed the tea and the cookies and that they had a good old fashioned chin wag--a phrase which I had not heard before but is perfectly descriptive. This particular friend works as a home health care aide, seven days a week. My overseas friend suggested that I hire her to come to mom's once a week (without mom knowing about the payment part). We have known this woman fr over a decade as she used to take care of a friend of mine and we have included her in every holiday festivity for years. When my friend died, I still invited this woman to join us for holidays but she generally works those days. I will approach her gently as I do not want to offend her. I'm not sure what the going rate is but I'd gladly pay for a few hours every other week. My mother has so little in common with her home aides (and in fact is taking a break from them right now)and doesn't really have a friendship with them. i had offered to pay for dinner for them last night and my boyfriend separately offered to buy them dinner. I think if I go gently I can figure out if it's doable.

Day with brother was lovely. So lovely. I am now doing laundry and going to see if a little puttering music is a good idea.

Take care dear friends.

Porter, I know it's tough to be called a hoarder. I remember feeling very defensive when someone called me a pack rat. I'm not sure having a comeback for your friend is necessary. Just weather the storm. What makes you feel your house is organized is someone else's chaos and vice versa. It is all relative. My bedroom is clean and clear. I have just the furniture I need and like and I am happy with how it is decorated. Someone else could come in and say, her dresser shouldn't have anything on it or she doesn't need that much art. It's a personal opinion, said through someone else's eyes. You don't need to agree, but you don't need to defend it either. Just appreciate that there are many approaches to stuff.

A few years ago I had a friend staying with me and she said, you have too much stuff. I totally understood and together we worked onreducing. I know I have too much stuff, even after getting rid of bags and bags and bags and boxes and boxes and boxes. I cannot rest on how much I did a few years ago, i need to keep moving forward and keep on reducing. It's tough and hard but I'm doing it.

Iced tea clinks, everyone! I'm off to spend day with brother. Hoping he will have a happy day.

~Good Morning, all!!!~
Im hoping to get several things done before today's heat kicks in.
I like the idea that some of you do with charts & logs, etc., so i may do some kind of thing like that with my progress. Im figuring, even at my very slow rate of progress, i could feasibly get my whole place done, including the outbuildings, in about 3 years...and as its been pointed out, it took WAY longer than that to get this way! At this point, i cant even enjoy anything else until i get this place better.
There are 4 more little piles/areas in my almost normal kitchen dining area to fix, before it becomes a completely normal room! Each little bit i do makes me feel lighter & better!
~☆~I hope you each have a beautiful day!~☆~

~Good Morning, all!!!~
Im hoping to get several things done before today's heat kicks in.
I like the idea that some of you do with charts & logs, etc., so i may do some kind of thing like that with my progress. Im figuring, even at my very slow rate of progress, i could feasibly get my whole place done, including the outbuildings, in about 3 years...and as its been pointed out, it took WAY longer than that to get this way! At this point, i cant even enjoy anything else until i get this place better.
There are 4 more little piles/areas in my almost normal kitchen dining area to fix, before it becomes a completely normal room! Each little bit i do makes me feel lighter & better!
~☆~I hope you each have a beautiful day!~☆~

It's 830 am

dinner wentsystems

I served 12 porter house steaks. I Bought them ON sale.
Also 12 bakers potatoes and bisquits
green bean casserole, corn casserole, bushes backed beans
salad was available but none was eaten.
I saved time by warming the steaks in two crockpot
s at 110 degrees then when I started my post last night turned it up to 180.. and lit grill using a leaf blower to stoke . Then put them on.150° tastes better but 180 kill anything that may be contaminated. Then serving right after the last hand. I made $58 on the first game minus the cost of the food and charcoal. Then the second game started with five players the restarted when we had 7 players.
I made $151 on the second game.
After the game we went out to the fire pit and did a lot of talking. Guys were not in groups this time. Basically all strangers to each other except by me.
I left at 1230 am leaving bryan in control of things.
I took 4 fares for uber. I made $129 in two hours.
got hone at 310 am and crashed in my room.
there are stil 3 guys here. I don't mind.
but I'm fixing eggs, bacon, potatoes and toast.
With tea, orange juice, or coffee .
I want everyone out by 10 am
To get ready for tonite.
I have three couples from high school I haven't seen since graduation. As my first game.
and bryan is bring in his group of veteran friends for the second. We decided to start the first game at 6pm and the second at 11pm so they don't overlap.

there doesnt seem to be anytime go looking for more bolders.
I talked to my daughter and she says very bored at her aunts and misses her friends. She said my wife is basically sleeping 24/7. A ND isnt eating.

When i talk to her I talk to her while im in the art room.
and I talk about our projects. She hasn't responded since I suggested a race issue. Basically I write most of story and the story board for the landscapes and she draws the humans and their faces. So im puttering. I think I would like to put in a dry erase wall 4 feet by 8feet.
Cheap and easy.

I may spend about a 90 min on the latrine plans. While I'm in the basement doing laundry. There's a city ordnance requiring permit and the storage tanks have be compliant. Will cost $1,000 each on an unproven investment.
that's too much. Unless I can buy with gambling money.

It has to be a two tank system. One is always collecting and the other is pressurized. So its too complicated to do both functions with solar wind and gravity. Too little energy to keep pressuring over and over.

Once I get the the latrine and hydrogen tanks set up .
ill turn to bike which is already invented and available for puechase. Gambling money again.
Thin I'll start work on the hover craft .
I'm thinking it'll have a weight require ment of under 120lbs for the flying person and 20lbs for the bike.

this means if it can be flown unmanned it can carry 100 lbs of product. By installing the remote system.with room to spare. I may never succeed but I'm drawn to trying like a moth to the flame.

Clinks with my choffee
30 protein, coffee , dark chocolate, cashew milk In A beer mug with a shot of kahlua . Very little alcohol. Just enough to smell like I'm having a drink.

Porter, in all honesty, from your description of each part of your house, it sounds completely normal to me?! It sounds simple, but comfortable. Did your friend ever see your last house? Was he in the kitchen when he said that? That room sounded a little fuller maybe? I think it is almost like a fad to accuse people of being a hoarder these days. Youve done an amazing job with all youve had to deal with. Maybe you can just ask him why he said that? I am always just blown away by what you accomplish when i read your posts. Im sorry he said that. What does his house look like? Is it just his bed & a sofa, with no food, books, or comforts of any kind? Maybe hes a hoardaphobe....ha ha

Tillie, i cant imagine the smoke being that thick if youre not in danger of the fire? The poor kitties? You are an awesome cat mom!
Im gonna have to go through each family reminder item to weigh out my feeling about it. Some of these things, from my Dad & his side of the family, the one's that understood & accepted me, and were a lot like me, i feel good about. Last year when my fridge was fixed, he kept it pulled out from the wall a bit, cuz,the back was heating up, so it could cool....all these family photos on the sides of the fridge show now...that may have to change...its just so much like closing the door completely on them......

Tillie, i cant imagine the smoke being that thick if youre not in danger of the fire? The poor kitties? You are an awesome cat mom!
Im gonna have to go through each family reminder item to weigh out my feeling about it. Some of these things, from my Dad & his side of the family, the one's that understood & accepted me, and were a lot like me, i feel good about. Last year when my fridge was fixed, he kept it pulled out from the wall a bit, cuz,the back was heating up, so it could cool....all these family photos on the sides of the fridge show now...that may have to change...its just so much like closing the door completely on them......

I'm suddenly had a bout of anxiety.
I'm not usually affected or bothered more than a worry level.
so I though sit and connect with my peers . You all I consider my peers. Because you all relate to things about holding on to stuff that most people would bother with.
mt friend bryan called me a hoarder. And though it was meant as joke. I very sensitive to being called a hoarder . Like I'm not packing it away enough.

My kitchen is packed tight.
lots of appliances and lots of supplies. If I made a list it would be like maybe 900 items of all sorts.
so Yea I think a military man might think it's overkill to have so much kitchen tools and appliances. And what is extremely rare to use is is packed in the basement some things unused in 20 years. I could easily sell but I have the space to keep it stored now . In my home at no additional cost. So it strikes at me when im called a hoarder because of what keep in places designated as storage.

I mean to say .

My porch minimal just chairs a fire pit and a grill.
My living room minimal only furniture.
My dinning room minimal
my kitchen packed cabinets but empty counters
the bathroom minimal yet fully stocked.

the upstairs art room I struggle with space because it's small. But the area doubles as a couch for guests to sleep on. And a second entertainment area. Craft area. Storage of everything related to pencils and papers. Also musical instuments. A large screen TV where 1 or more people can connect to you tube and practice music lessons or post to you tube if they wish. It air conditioned.

My bed room is filled with office furniture. And I don't have a bed. I have a blow up matress. I keep it in the closet until needed . And the rest of the rest of the time my bedroom is well organized place for a physical office. You would never know it's where I sleep half of the time. Its the smallest room in the house. By choice.
To save energy on days that need only air conditioning 1 room or heating 1 room . I can sleep in comfort while the rest of the house is left to be uncomfortable while I sleep.
the small room is cheaper to heat and cool. The windows are lined with aluminum foil . So no light enters the room .
I have several other white noise gadgets to allow for ability to block all stimulus except noises from planes trains helicopter and fireworks .fire trucks. But enough to block out car alarms.

But there too is no room any more stuff. I'm packed in the office bed room with some tools I don't want exposed to damp . Do my bed room is like a tightly packed room where it's wall to wall filled with my stuff . When the air matress is in place there is no room to stand up. To stand up I have open the door . Which I Reversed To Open Into THE Hall Instead Of Into THE room. However I do have 3 chairs.
1 chair is an office chair I love because I can sit in it forever and not feel like I've been sitting forever.
Chair 2 is a chair I use to get dressed on . Its washable so I don't feel weird about being naked on it while getting dressed.
Chair 3 is my favorite chair in whole world.
It teeders back in an anti gravity position. So that my legs are way over my heay. It vibrates and has heating. In the small room it's ugly black leather . Not a beautiful chair. But very function able chair. Not fore sleeping but for back pain therapy. When my discs ache or are injured . I cleave to the chair. Like my mother's womb before I was born.
I can access Internet on ginormous 55" tv that is the monitor for my computer. And cordless keyboards and mouse makes all chairs no need for standing room.
I can understand why anyone would call me hoarder by looking onto my bed room. But if I lived on a boat. I could only be so lucky to have so much function in such a tight space.

The last room is daughters room.
objects and possessions are forbidden. Only clothes and the bed. She may keep some art supplies if she's working on something and posters of her choice on the walls wirh a limit to 4 nails on any wall. I don't own I rent so four nail is the rule for all walls and I'll be flexible in special circumstances.
Her possession ate in the art room . This is due to her extreme lazyness. If I let her have whatever she wants in her bed room it becomes filled with food garbage. Disgusting filth. So I don't allow food upstairs in the bedrooms.
the common room where I do the cleaning im more flexible.

When her room was filled with garage. She had no friends.
then I made the rule for daughters room to only have the bed and clean clothes in the closet. Shoes in the closet. And tv and minimal project materials. She had many friends friends and sleep overs. Being an only child and her mother no longer available to us . I feel like the social issues are more important than the freedom to keep her things in her room.
But she left to live with her aunt.
I'll bet her aunt has rules too. Especially about the accumulation of filthy garbarge.

so all halls are clear. Theres not much open spaces as my four bed room house with basement is very small .no room has more than a 12 foot wall.
So when 12 people are in the house it's crowded.
I don't want to have parties where it's a rave. No more than 12 because there are 12 places to sit in in living room and dinning room.

So .
i felt the anxiety when my trusted friend called me a hoarder.
instead of getting defensive and defending myself verbally.
i ignore it temporarily and came and posted here.

There are all in tbe other room playing cards.
I've taken too long to type all this out, I feel better having a place to let it out.

it's time to start up the grill.
I'm ready serve up the food. Most of was made yesterday.
As one game ends I fix food as the next group starts to show.so far there very little resistance to my approaches on food .fun and games. While the games are live and players leave the table into the living room I play comic routines.
So the house just erupts with laughter about every 5 six minutes. This way I know almost everyone is having a good time while im their money.

The only comeback ive come up with for anyone calling me a hoarder.
Youre just jealous.
And or At least I'm happy so who the f♤○{ cares!

I'm working g on tbe outside porches as they give lots of free open spaces to loiter around . And poke at fire while bored after losing money. Gambling can hurt if you lose to much to fast. And if I keep them near the action it gets tense. So I keep putting g thought into the outside.
I now have four large boulders around the fire pit. For sitting
I plan to have 8 . Bryans truck has been an asset. I've been hunting for boulders and knocking on strangers doors . Asking if they want their boulders removed..
I'm trying to get all of them to be different colors.
And the fire pit can double as grill.

I gotta go.
I hope you're all well.
Sorry for not reading ... I just needed to post.

You are the world's best cat mom, Tillie. I will hold you in my heart forever.

Hi Tatoulia :)
I was composing when you posted & didn't see it till I posted. LOL
Scooter's eyes are really sore & weepy from the smoke.
I soothe them with a wet washcloth held over them periodically.
Marty is whiny & crying and needy because I won't allow him out during the heat or thick smoke.
Right now he is laying on my leg resting his head on my right wrist as I try to type.
The other three cats are hiding under the dresser, under the bed and under the dining room table.

WTG! for tossing the Kleenex box when it was time :D

HI :)

Our Dear Roxie started this with her morning "coffee clink" toasts.
Since I never drink coffee or hot things I replied with my iced tea "clinks"
Roxie was in very poor health and when she no longer posted, we have continued to hold her in our hearts. (((HUGS)))

Good plan Subclinical to have a progress chart.
Just don't allow it to hold you back if you feel enough progress isn't being achieved.
You are only one person and can only do just so much in any given day.

WTG!!! Anonymoniker for tossing those ancient paper plates! ;D
My philosophy is that we should never keep anything that makes us sad, mad or any other negative emotion.
But I REALLY want you to box up and hide any "family heirloom" type stuff and get it all out of your sight since looking at it hurts you. (((((HUGS)))))

Hi Tatoulia :)
Hope your Mom's company was able to cheer her up some.
Has the humidity been low and tolerable there?

Hi Porter :)
Please don't get carried away with all the freebies in the wheelie bins.
But that is a good way to get materials for your projects and experiments. ;)

The smoke was cleared out this morning and I was able to venture out and do early morning watering.
When it gets heavy I stay inside with the evaporative cooler on since it does filter the air somewhat.
The news said the fires are not yet contained in areas and there may be new ones started by people or lightning.
Been 103 on the back porch today and these hot temps often generate thunderstorms.
Sure would love to have rain. Lots & lots of rain ;P

*The box
* threw it out

Sorry I don't proofread.

Hello Anony--great work! So hard to let go of paper products--and you did it! I finally threw out a box of Kleenex that had been my grandmother's. On the back it had an offer for a bonsai tree, if you can believe it. He offer expired in 1972 or some such. I'd had it for years, it was getting old and dusty, and one day it got wet and I through it out, and I'm good with that. It was time.

I too am worried about Tillie--write when you can! Or see if Marty or Scooter could do a quick drive-by.

I'm not very productive these days but no backsliding thank goodness. Just no progress.

Hey, everybody?! :D
My 'assistant' and i got quite stuck trying to toss out some turn of the century paper plates, napkins & decorations(2000, not 1900...ha ha). I almost made a decorated box to put it all in, to store over the stove, till i read about an astrological interpretation of something happening now, which said something to the effect of 'needing to let go of the old, no longer useful things, to make room for the new'...and i then ran into the kitchen and jammed that crap into the trash!!! YEA!!! Seriously, like id ever have a group of people in my house, unexpectedly no less, eating party foods...yeah, right, please...ha ha...not even by next century....☆
Tatoulia, you have help me get so much clearer on what i want in a relationship! Thank you! Even when i was young, i knew i did not want to have kids. Oddly, i always seemed to attract guys that really wanted children?!? The women around me hated that, cuz they couldnt come across even one guy like that?! Im so happy for you to have such a rare & ideal situation!! ~♡~
Tillie, are you in any danger of those fires coming to where you are?!? From your description, when that happens here, it means planning evacuating?!!
SunClinical, i would likely also choose the sentimental items over practical ones...ha ha....i guess thats a problem for all of us. Recently, i realized many of the family items just remind me of being bannished from my family...im not sure what to do about that, cuz its all i have of them. :( I may move them into another 'hurt'box, like the one i need for legal info, etc., on the guy that terrorized me, years ago. Its out of my site, but i have them if needed. Not seeing that family stuff might be better, too...

Thank you for the positive feedback! I really need it on social interactions, which sometimes drives my family crazy. I want them to analyze everything and tell me how I did. Very little of it comes naturally to me. I am better with children which i think is mainly because I have an education degree with a minor in developmental psychology. (For me children kind of do come with instructions)

The balance between rational, practical decisions and other people's emotions can be especially hard - worse the fewer experiences I have with that person.

I made myself a chart (I love charts) I used some three lined paper from when my kids were learning to print and made columns for days. Then I listed all the spaces in my life from bedroom to yard. Each evening I am going to check off a level for each space - better, same, or worse (based on the results of my actions and ignoring entropy like dust and the fact that weeds get taller every day). It will help me see where I am making progress and where I need to refocus.

Coffee clinks are great! There was a delightful woman in here who used to iced tea clinks with people--Roxie. She was clinking long before I got on here--who knows, maybe she invented it, maybe she learned it from someone else! Tillie might have some history on this!

SubC, you are doing a great, even, steady job on your work. You did a great job limiting what you took home, and I think you did the right thing by not being rude re the bread. Next time maybe grab a smaller box or tell the woman--I'm putting the chickens on a diet or something sweet but getting firmer? I too would have taken the filled box. Your self-awareness was right on target! Congratulations!

I need to finish getting ready for work and get garbage gathered up.

Thinking of you all and wishing you a wonderful day!!!

Good morning!

I have no iced tea, can I clink my coffee? It won't sound as cheerful though.

Tatoulia, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Depression is an awful beast.

I have been taking baby steps literally for years. One of my daughter's homeschooled friends once said that learning to read is like replacing your teeth - some of us start early, some start late, we loose a lot at once or one at a time, but we all end up with a full set. I'm hoping my baby steps will get me there.

Tillie, take care of your lungs!

CM, that is cool that you got to meet Cory. It sounds like a great experience!

Porter, I don't really understand your bathroom situation, but be sure not to get in trouble with zoning and neighbors. I also don't understand how you can make money on the poker games serving food like that. How much does each person pay to play?

I have a question that I hope won't offend you. You can ignore it. Are you bipolar? I am asking because I haven't known you very long, and I know that this is a time of huge changes for you, but the tone of your posts seems really variable. my friend and roommate used to swing into action like this and start so many great things, but then she would get ahead of herself and she would crash and be overwhelmed by it all, and stay in bed for days. If that could be you, I hope we can keep you aware of your moods and actions and help you avoid tipping points. That's all. You sounds really up right now though, and I hope that is good and you are a normally high energy person who was just overwhelmed when I showed up.

So, yesterday I didn't bring anything home from class except three pages of notes. I think I got too much bread at the food bank, but it went like this - Jim is back, but when I showed up he offered me a bag of lentils that had gotten wet. I accepted. Then Ruth decided that if chickens liked lentils, they should also have the pasta that arrived in torn bags and spilled everywhere. Ok, that is plenty. But then at close there was a lot of bread to clear out, and Ruth thought I should take a box. The box she found was really big, so I helped her fill it halfway and told her that was plenty (I figure the pasta will keep a really long time). But when I went in the back to get my bag, the other Ruth filled my box to overflowing. She told me "I filled that box up. There's plenty of bread!" I didn't want to be rude, so I just said " wow! I may have to get more chickens." And took it.

Progress last night though - I realized that there is room in the studio barn to keep my box of bread - instead of the basement. It's not quite as cool, but still good and dh will be happier not having moldy bread in the house. A little farther for me to walk during chores, but no stairs.

Also yesterday I recycled all the mail and sorted through my "in box" and filed a few things and recycled a few things, so even with my notes the paper monster shrank a bit.

Tillie, I am just so sorry about the smoke. I sish I could send some clean fresh air your way, it must be terrible trying to take a deep breath.

Cm loved LOVED hearing about your day! And that was smart of you to reach out to other people--

I'm just home from work. Dropped some food off at mom's. She is terribly depressed and not eating meals with the other people in assisted living, One of our friends is stopping by to visit tomorrow, so I dropped off some cookies and tea and fruit.

I'm just eating my dinner but wanted to check in on everyone.

I have everything done.
so I went the long way home in nieghborhoods that scheduled for heavy trash.

so what im thinking on .
is the poker games and I talking to alot of guys at the gym.

so that is going well 1-2 new person a week.
I have 4 games scheduled to host this week.
I've decided on food f or my poker nights.

first game starts at 7pm and second game at 11pm
after first game is over I through porterhouse steaks on grill.
and each player gets a steak for free and a cigar.


I enjoy it that's why I do it. The cleaning isnt so bad.as clean as I go . And if im making about $50 per game after expenses then it's paying my rent.

In this way im putting $1,000 per month. Towards savings.
If im lucky I'll be able to pay off the car much sooner.
And that will help with my monthy expenses.

then I'll re evaluate the poker nights frequency.

My creative outlet im designing a latrine .
the guys just pee any and everywhere outside.
I'm hate that. But if I design something that is geared for the hydrogen separation from urine.

then it goes in hand with my other projects. As both flying bike and clay mass walls require utilizing hydrogen from urine. To provide energy. So in my real world application
I do need to stop the the guys from Wizz ing everywhere. And offer a place to to pee and not get poop into the storage.

so I've been taking long ways home gathering from neighborhoods that having heavy trash . Its just who I am.
With letgo being so cheap on used stuff it won't be a terrible eye sore inside and out.

My plan is to use gravity, wind and solar. And hopefully it may make a major difference in my current winter heating bill. I hoping to have only $70 a month during winter months.

by heating the house weekdays at just above freezing on days where outside Temps don't go below 32 degrees

but on weekends during games it'll be toasty. From natural gas.

I'm excited to start work on this and a gazebo that will eventually have a small whirlpool pool built into it.
Oops gotta go

Ooops! I spelled Cory's name wrong! My apologies! I'm usually more accurate with that sort of thing but I guess I was excited, or maybe I've known more folks with the name spelled the other way.

There was a very positive vibe at the event. I probably should've gone and spoken to the guys who are doing the franchise, but I just had so much on my mind, taking it all in. Told some people about the local clutter group I go to in case they were interested. Cory has met our social worker leader before and I wrote down where/when we meet and which community organizations it's connected with so he could pass the info on to anyone interested.

What a cool opportunity this was, and I just happened to see it on Facebook!

Congratulations CM! What a terrific day you are having!!!

At the Steri-Clean event. Just met and had lovely chat with Corey! :) Will catch up later or over the weekend with your posts and my news since the end of June. Everyone have a fantastic day!

Good mornin'

Winds shifted last evening bringing all the wildfire smoke this a'way again last afternoon.
There is no escape from it.
The cats are suffering, I am suffering.
At least I was able to catch up on a few things yesterday while the smoke was blowing in a different direction. :D
It's the direction that the wind travels that causes so much smoke to come this way.
Fires in northern California and even as far away as Alaska can cause smoky air here. :P

Happy to read all your postings about what you all are up to and especially your thoughts and insights on everything. :D

Iced tea clinks!

Leaving for office. Enjoyed your thoughtful post SubC. I understand your mil -- she is also judging how much people love her by the items they take. Oh our possessions. So difficult. We love them, we think they love us back, we use them as a measure of love for the gift giver and recipient. It is tough. Many, many years ago I made a rule that no office gifts make it into my house. No candles, no trinkets, no nothing. I dispose of before getting home. But that's the easy stuff. It's the tough stuff that brought me here!

Wishing everyone a wonderful day. Oh, I relocated the art that was hidden by my new lamps. Now to deal with the living room art. Ugh. Baby steps. I need to take some big girl steps soon.

Good morning!

Porter, I'm glad you are finding things you can use. Just be sure that you are doing projects and using them and not spending too much of your time and energy collecting them for "later"


Tillie, I'm glad the smoke is better. Fire really scares me. I can't imagine living somewhere where there were wildfires.

Tatoulia, you do spend a lot of your time caring for your family. I am impressed that you manage three households. I can barely manage one.

Anony, You are Wonder Woman!

I also have a hard time with sentimental things. If I were forced to cut my possessions way down, I would probably get rid of all of the useful stuff just so I could keep the sentimental stuff.

I also went through the dividing possessions and estate when my grandmother died four years ago. It was a long drawn out process - it took a year to empty the house, but there were few disagreements and no fights. Probably because we all had pretty much the attitude that my cousin and I agreed on as we were sifting through the attic - the most important and valuable thing my grandparents gave us was each other. (There was one toy we both loved as kids that neither of us would take because all we could remember now was how much we fought over it)

The thing with my mother in law is that she is not dying, at least not any faster than anyone else. She could easily live another 20 years. Also, she doesn't want to give away anything that is actually important to her. When you tell someone "my mother painted these dishes but if nobody wants them I'm just going to get rid of them." They are not obligated to cherish the dishes. Particularly when you have a history of explaining to people at length why many many random objects are extremely important and/or valuable.

Sometimes when she gets rid of the actually "valuable" (usually not nearly as valuable as she believes) items she announces "I'm going to sell this because it's worth a lot of money, but if anybody would like it for a Christmas present they could have it."

She has a careful formula for exactly how much money should be spent on each family member each Christmas to indicate the correct amount of love for that degree of relatedness. So if you ask for the item, she then deducts the value she believes it has from her shopping budget for you. Sometimes I ask for stuff dh wants because I wish she wouldn't buy me anything.

It's amazing I am the hoarder and not dh, except I think he hates stuff because he got stuff instead of love. All of my stuff was given with so much love I sometimes have trouble remembering that the two are not intertwined. (My grandmother is gone, but I still have this stuffed pig that was given to me solely to make me happy because she loved me. I can't SEE the love, but I can see the pig, which reminds me that I also got the love...)

Today is very full. I need to work outside this morning, but may be stopped by rain. It is a food bank day, so my focus is accepting no more than a rational amount of stale bread. I also have a class so I must remember that I don't have to keep everything I make. It is the learning through the making that I need to hold on to.

Stopped and looked through piles set out for heavy trash pick . And used screw drivers to pull out some of the fasteners ans knobs. So I don't pay extra for projects.

And I sometimes find a bunch of matching knobs.
and assorted sized pipes and other things.

the trick is once my home has all the fixtures fixed or upgraded. To let it go.

I need bars to keep fixing up the grill .
and I'm keep making plans towards a gazebo so I keep looking for things to help build the foundation.

Hi Everybody :)

WAY TO GO!!!!
Wonderful to read all your posts :D

Smoke has thinned out a little today.
Wasn't as sleepy/tired all day and got a few things done around here.
Nothing major, watering, laundry, dishes, etc...
Too hot to bother vacuuming right now.

Anony, it makes me smile to read how much you are enjoying your clean and clear spaces! Makes me happy--important to enjoy our hard-earned results.

Thank you for the kind words. It can be very wearing and wearying to take care of my family. Encouragement from friends like you make it so much easier!

As to my relationship, I am very lucky. He is a very kind person with great integrity. Not living together and not being married certainly helps. I have never wanted to be married and I am very, very fortunate that I met him once I was in my 40s and not the best candidate to start having a family. I would hazard a guess that if we had met in my 20s or 30s it would have had a different outcome. Of course, we don't know what the future holds but we have a peaceful relationship. It's easy, uncomplicated and very peaceful. I think it's out there, Anony, and I think you'll find it. I really do. It'll sneak right up on you.

I have a full bag ready for goodwill. I took my quilt to the laundromat for laundering.

~Good morning all!~
SubC, i remember having such a hard time choosing sentimental items. Anything involving rejecting things has always been difficult. After seeing so many family fallouts over things of loved ones that passed on in recent years, i think the more of that done ahead of time, the better for all involved!
Joan, YEA! Maybe tossing those old papers is helping you feel better?!
Tatoulia, you are such a wonderful sister! You take such good care of everyone around you! I still want to have a bf relationship like yours, someday, too!
Tillie, were having lots of fires here, too. Our sunsets have been gorgeous lately from the fires, just like you described. Last night's sunset was far more spectacular than the fireworks!
Im am amazed how im affected by the areas ive improved! Its not my whole kitchen, just the dining area half, plus seeing out that glass door to my new sofa on the screen porch. I can stand in several different places & see it from different angles & it makes me feel soooo incredible!!!
~☆~I AM (part time) WONDERWOMAN!!!~☆~ ha ha

Good work on the papers, Joan! Maintaining the balance your health requires is a full-time job. You are doing great!

SubC I've missed you! Great to hear about your visit. That is tough for your mil--she wants people to treasure it and love it as she did, and the family is trying to love it in their own ways. Your husband was smart to wait to email his list. And good work on getting some items you will treasure and use without going hog wild!

I am working today and going to see if I can't get a few household things donee. I've started a bag for good will,

So much going on!

I am happy for anony's kitchen and Joan feeling better, and porter who seems to be grabbing life by the horns!

Tillie I worry about your fire.

And tatoulia and CM, keep up the good work - slow and steady.

I am home now. My home always seems more open and less full after we visit our parents. They have such big houses with so many things everywhere. All organized and clean, but full, full, full. If I filled all my walls with pictures and shelves and cupboards and stored things under all the beds my house would look more organized.....

I didn't meet any goals at mom's house, but we had a good visit. Mil is preparing to die. She is labeling everything in the house with when and where it originated (belonged to, purchased in...) and cost if known. I picked up a cute little rabbit sculpture and it had a label on the bottom that said "made by (mil) as a child, as a gift for (mil's grandmother)" she is also trying to give things away that have family history but she doesn't like. Dh insists on going last.

She had a hand painted china set painted by her mother and the 'kids' (all over 40) made her angry because she told them that if they didn't take it, she was getting rid of it. Then her daughter took the candlesticks, which I guess was ok, bil took one cup and saucer (you can't take one cup and saucer! Now there is an odd number! At least take two!) and dh took the cream pitcher which was signed and dated "you just want the pitcher? You have to take the sugar bowl." "No I don't" "but you can't just take the pitcher!" "Yes I can. It's the thing I want. Are you giving it to me or not?"

She made dh and his siblings and my daughter go through the house and make a list of anything sentimental that was important to them that they would want. Dh insisted on e-mailing his list after we got home because he didn't want to listen to her be upset that out of the whole house there were 7 items and 4 were small, heavily used toys from his childhood.

Besides the pitcher, she gave dh a pocket watch and I took a wooden rack to use for tools in my studio (I almost had to give it back because I told her what I was going to use it for and it's supposed to be for belts.), a plastic lunch container, and a really cool antique lap desk (it belonged to dh great- great grandmother)

I could have bought the rack at goodwill for $2 and haven't, but I figured it was free.....

You know, I've always thought my mom was the hoarder, but as I write this, I realize they both are, they just hoard for different reasons and mil has more money and is more of a snob about her stuff.

Anyway, back to sorting through my life today. I am preparing my in/out list but don't want to post it until I actually go to goodwill and drop stuff off. It may be a "first half of summer" list instead of June.

Awake in the middle of the night. Threw out a few papers (to recycling). Not enough to even dent the mounds of old papers I have, but I am still inordinately proud of myself. I keep trying to clean up, but my health has always collapsed on me in the past.

I am starting to feel surprisingly better. Fingers crossed.

Mopped brother's floors. Went really well. Now getting ready for BF's bbq. I stopped by on way home and it is about to start, so I'll head over very soon. It should be fairly low-key since the city is empty. Then later on tonight we will head over to the fireworks. So grateful the weather is nice.

Wishing you all a wonderful Independence Day!

I think we cross-posted again, Tillie! The wildfires sound so scary. It must be difficult to have the atmosphere filled with smoke. Stay safe and tell the kitties I say hello.

Happy 4th everyone!

I'm going to do a quick few things here and then head out to brother's to mop his floors. Then I'm going to run home, get cleaned up and go to BF's cookout.

I hope brother can be reasonable today. I will work extra hard on keeping myself together. His birthday is approaching and for some reason he starts a massive fight just before his birthday, then he cries. So I'll ignore today and not engage.

Hope you all have a beautiful 4th of July. I have had four days off from work and my living room is still a mess. But it's better--took care of a lot of papers.

Happy July 4th! :)

Wildfires burning all around northern Nevada.
The air is thick with smoke.
The sunset last night was a deep vibrant orange.
The sunshine today is very yellow from filtering through the smoke.
No rain predicted to help wash it all away.
It will be another day stuck inside to keep out of the 100+ degrees.
Thank goodness for Netflix and Youtube ;D

I hate stubbing toes. I'm a baby in that regard.

Anony
I keep finding ways to become empowered over thclearance wasI tell you the view from my house from end to end all done. Nearly perfection. Is such a rush of empowerment. I just put into words how it makes me feel.
all the social and family problems aside. When my place is a mess im a mess too. I get so used to it. But when is all sorted. All organized all put away. All accessible. I do feel like a hero and the person trapped in the hoard needed saving. And now I'm free. I feel so energized by it.


I went out today in neighborhood looking for metal bars.
because the grill is in really bad shape leans and tips back too easily. I did find metal broom sticks and several stoves with broiling pans the make for better coal placements. I went to hard ware and bought the grill paint
and it was good to use tools from my tool area that is well organized . at the hardware i asked if any clearance could fit my project and the clerk gave me a grill rack free of charge because he was told to throw away.

So its looking as good as new ones.
not only that but I looked up on letgo *grill accessories
and bought a case with everthing in it. And the things in my basement hoard for tenderizing and marinating. Even some injection stuff.

I've been working on the shelves in the kitchen a little each day. And if I had the energy I would finnish them. But yawn.
I'm just going to call a good day and sleep until my eyes pop open on their own .
I'm going to join a new gym tommorrow for a free 30 days and see if I can find some players.
Fasting and strength training was difficult last time . But ive learned more Much more. But that's a different post on and different thread on a different forum.

zee you later.

Congratulations on the kitchen, Anony! You worked hard and it has paid off!

I am just telling myself, how about doing a little something in order to keep productive. I'm very pleased with the amount of paper i worked through and I hope my 'assistant' is ready to help me again tomorrow!

Believe it or not, we have garbage pickup tomorrow so I'm going to gather mine up and get it out!

.....i am loving going into my kitchen & realizing how'normal' it has become now!!! There are only a few little areas of disgusting disorder in there now....i feel a new sense of power..i look around at other previously overwhelming areas id seen as beyond my control, yet ive now aquired the superpowers to fix them, too...and my Wonderwoman dolls are trading wisdom with the older Thailand lady doll....they all have unique nuggets of advice, suggestions & truth for each other to benefit from! ~☆♡☆~