Nightstand progress:

Wow what a mess. I can't even tell you. If you took my house and shrank it down to a nightstand size, that is what it was like. A mini-hoard.

First I took everything off. I threw away 3 things and donated 1 thing. I put a coin in the coin jar, a bunch of pens on another surface (ugh), other pens in a pen jar, colored pencils in a pencil bag. I put some hand creams in my bathroom drawer and some in the hall closet for common use. I put the paperwork that has a home into its home.

A couple items went into the drawer. I put a thermometer away in its place.

I tested the CD player and it seems to work, so I got the canned air and cleaned it out, and dusted the outside of it and plugged it in. I looked online earlier for a replacement with no luck so will keep this one.

I dusted the phone and lamp. Put all the books and other items on my bed and used furniture polish to clean the nightstand.

I then pulled it out from the wall and omg the dust and junk behind it! So I pulled it out further, vacuumed behind it, picked up all the random stuff, moved the cords away and pushed it back.

Now I am feeling overwhelmed so took a break. There is a ton of stuff on the floor around it but I will stay focused on my goal of a clear nightstand. There is a lot of stuff on my bed from this nightstand that I need to find a space for or delete from my life.

Today I also ran a couple errands, cooked, and took the box of donations including those 3 pairs of shoes to the charity store and I am SO GLAD those dumb shoes are gone and I cannot bring them back in the house!!!!!

That is interesting about the astronomical calendar and cross quarter. I certainly am on board for a new season with more light. That's what I need, too.

I got the fridge sorted and the going-bad stuff out to the trash. I asked Son to take out all the trashes in the house, plus some of the bagged leaves, so the bins are full to be taken by the truck. I think they do compost the leaves SubC, as long as we empty the bags into the green bin.

I am trying something new with my decluttering efforts. I woke up this morning and tried to "envision" where I want to have clear spaces tonight. I decided on my night stand that is next to my bed.

I wish I could take a photo before and after to share with you all. I know we talked about this like a year ago and some of you have a way to share photos. I did not figure it out but I will take a picture and if I can figure out how to share it I will.

The night stand surface is completely covered. There are papers and coins, lotions and chapsticks, pens and books and all sorts of random items that don't belong there. It is very dusty.

I can see having 2-3 books and a lamp and a few things I actually use in bed on there, or in the drawer.

I do have an alarm clock radio on there and I am thinking about getting rid of it but not sure. You can't get that quality anymore, it is all junk from china. It has a CD player and AM/FM radio, nightlight and alarms. I was using it mainly to listen to the radio at night. I was thinking about getting a new one but it is hard to find anything decent with AM radio. I use my phone for alarms now. I think I will clean it off and think about it. I wanted to find one with USB charger ports to charge my phone and kindle but can't find one reasonably priced with AM radio. I think the CD player is broken. Maybe I will try the CD player and if it is in fact broken, I might go ahead and get rid of it since it is big, and try to find a small AM radio with a charger port.

Thanks for letting me think out loud about this and process it. Feedback welcome!

I also will work on my kitchen counter/bar that looks like a landfill right now.

Jinx!! we posted at the same time SubC!

I am excited too! But also trying to figure out how to get the 375 bucks he is giving me for rent once he leaves. I had an actual renter before that but I really don't want another renter.

I guess I would have to give him notice since he is a renter, technically. I think I will let it go on for another 2-3 months and then ask him to get it all out so I can have the space back. Heck, he has a ton of heavy stuff in my garage that will make lots of space when he takes that. Plus company should be gone within this month and that will bring back TWO small rooms and my family room which is covered in their stuff and boxes. Really I just want ex to take his giant couch out of my family room or give me permission to donate it. But that's pointless until the company is gone.

Oh,

The candles -

Candlemas is a significant date in the Catholic Church. So that is CM's holiday.

The candles actually come from the pagan festival of Brigid who was changes to st. Brigid by the church. Brigid was celebrated on imbolc.

Imbolc means lambs milk and is a festival simply to mark to turn of the seasons. It is currently celebrated in some pagan religions which have fixed the date. Not always to the same day as Candlemas.

I do not follow the pagan calendar, I follow the astronomical one and the actual "cross quarter" - changing of season, is today, with the darkest 1/4 of the year ending locally at approximately 9:27 my time. So I will celebrate that by lighting my candles this evening. (Probably before that, but leave them burning.)

oh - also - I could legally throw out all the ex's stuff now. But he is paying rent on one room to keep some things here until he is more settled. And I need the rent money so that's okay for now. I think it will be all gone within a couple months.

What I could do is sort through his stuff in other parts of the house and put it all in that rented room. I started to do that but got overwhelmed, so as I sort I will go ahead and do that.

Today is my day off, although I may run a couple errands. I have to work tomorrow and Sunday.

It is trash pickup day so I will sort through the fridge and take out anything that is going bad.

Also already today I added 5 more things to my daily tally: 4 bottles of old pills and one sock with a hole in it! Gone forever!

So, all of the property is divided, so do you have to give him notice of abandoned property, or can you just start hauling all his stuff out?

An entire empty room!

I'm so excited for you!

I know you probably want to wait at least until the company is gone, but I would be so excited!

SubC and CM, I don't know anything about the candles and why you are lighting them. Is today or yesterday a significant date?

SubC no, it wasn't anything with the question, it was my brain that forgets! I forgot to answer you. Basically in a legal separation you are still technically married so you cannot re-marry and I personally would not date, either. Some people do date. Anyway the protection of a legal separation is now I am not liable for his debts. The judge ordered which debts and assets belong to each of us. He runs up massive debt so now I don't have to pay it (we live in a community property state so I would have had to). Also if he goes in a nursing home they can't come after me for the payments now (he is much older than me). But our marriage is over, he doesn't love me anymore and I think he had a side chick. And he was unkind to Teen. So I am glad he is gone. He can't come in my house, it was awarded to me, he has to pay child support for Teen. I could have just done a divorce but I was so upset and emotionally not ready for "another" divorce plus I am a rather new christian and don't know all the rules about when it is ok to divorce. But my pastor told me he would support a divorce in my case and I am free to remarry (no thanks tho).

You can ask me anything, I am pretty much an open book. If either ex or I want to be divorced we just have to file one paper to convert it to a divorce and either one of us can do that.

Good morning!

My cross quarter day will start right about the time of my first class today, but I will be home to light candles at the appropriate time this evening.

Planting some seeds today with my students.

Lila, I'm sorry if my question about your xdh and his stuff was out of line or pushy.

I really empathize with you about the jewelry, but unfortunately that means I am no help there. Honestly, it even bothers me to read that you threw away bubble wrap. (But keep posting such things!)

CM, I hope your trip goes well and that you enjoy your time with your cousins, even though it is a sad reason for gathering (a long life to celebrate though!)

I give my bunnies dried papaya to prevent wool block.

Just touching base and I'll do so again when I get home tomorrow afternoon or evening. I think I'm mentally prepared for the travel part. Sometimes it goes pretty well. It'll be my first time as I mentioned since that really stressful time last year when I wasn't feeling up to much in terms of travel.

The funeral itself will be a healing and bonding with family time. Some of the cousins I don't know if I'll see again for a long time because some of them live out of state and in recent times it's only been the funerals of my parents' generation that have brought us together, and he's the last one. We don't have reunions and stuff, and with me not liking travel... But be that as it may, I will be touched in my heart to be part of giving my beloved uncle a fitting sendoff.

I had wanted to go to Mass today before I ended up with the travel plans and so on. But it's okay, I remembered it is a special day anyway. 🕯 A candle for Candelmas. 😊

Must run down my checklist a bit more. We leave at 8:00. That's early in my book anymore! Bunny boy is doing fantastic. I'm so relieved. I think he and girl bunny groom each other and get a little hair ingested, so I'll brush them more to prevent it.

Saw the Daily Tally, and soon I will have some items to add to it. Everyone have a great day. 👍

Thanks SubC for the reminder to get my clothes out of the dryer. I hope they are not too wrinkled.

The necklace. That is a good suggestion that sets me into a panic thinking about it. Why is that? I don't even know. Here is my brain process.

I open the drawer and see all the jewelry and it is overwhelming.
I pick out one thing I have not worn in years.
"but my child gave this to me, I can't get rid of it"
"but I can save this for my granddaughters" (nice things for them to have, and junky things for them to wear as dress-up)
"but this probably cost $50+"
"but I don't remember who gave this to me, maybe it was someone I loved who is dead now and later I will remember they gave it to me and will cry tears of regret"

It is so hard to get rid of ANYTHING really.

I threw out some bubble wrap today even though I COULD USE IT SOMEDAY but I threw it out to count in the daily tally.

It is good progress Lila - 60%!

Imagine if you got rid of 60% of the stuff in your house!

Can you explain to me the difference between your separation and a divorce? If the separation does not end the marriage, will it be ended after a period of time? Or is that a different process? Mostly, I am thinking about the xh's stuff and when you can throw it out!

My sheets are in the dryer. I did chores and took a shower. And I had milk and eggs for dinner (which is supposed to be tomorrow's food - milk and eggs and hot or spicy things like tea, cinnamon, curry.)

Did you ever find that necklace? Could you go to the drawer with a donate bag and a trash bag and just start sorting through by removing things that aren't as important as the necklace?

I don't know how I can be this tired at 8:00

A small victory:

I was able to put 3 of the 5 pairs of shoes into the donate box along with some gloves, scarf, random items. I put the box in my car. I also threw out some worn clothing. I started my count in the Daily Tally thread. My goal is 1000 items gone by the end of this year and 22 items went out of my house today!

I know I said I would only keep 1 pair of the 5, but I have not yet decided which of the last 2 I might donate. So, it's progress.

hey you are doing good, SubC.

I made lunch for myself and my company, using things in the fridge that needed to be used up. I put my laundry in the dryer. I worked on my planner a bit.

That is as far as I have gotten today.

Before I went on my trip, I remember trying to gather things to pack and I could not find things I needed. I was getting so frustrated and angry, that I KNEW those things were in my bedroom somewhere, but they were basically lost under all the clutter. It made me so upset I was ready to get rid of everything! If I had had a big trash bin in my room I would have started tossing everything just to be able to find the things that matter. But I had to get ready to leave, so did not have time to declutter anything.

I am not sure how to channel that frustration into today, but yesterday I wanted to wear a certain necklace but there was so much stuff piled in the drawers that I could not find it. And once again I was mad, and ready to get rid of everything.

But right now the only thing I am motivated to do is sit here and wish for more snax.

So, my "spring clean and organize" today was trash and recycling out, stripped my bed and washed the sheets, took the ash bucket out and dumped it so I can clean out the woodstove before starting a fire tomorrow, took the compost out, and at school - inventoried the glaze and made a shopping list.

SubC, I am ready for spring, too. Enough is enough with the cold and dark. If I did not have roots and grands here, I would move to a warmer place.

Thank you for the badger. I will prioritize the shoes today. I worked from home for 3.5 hours, drank coffee, and put the bag of wilting spinach in a sink of cold water to get it washed and freshened. I'll saute it and maybe freeze half. I put in a load of wash.

I will try and get some items out of here for the Daily Tally thread... including those shoes.

Happy Groundhog Day!

And happy Candlemas to CM. I hope you bunny is ok.

Lila, a 12 hr day is ridiculous. I'm glad you took some of the time back.

And nice job getting rid of 280lbs of junk! Good day's work!

Here is a badger for the shoes:🦡

The cross quarter falls tomorrow night astronomically even though depending on your approach celebrations started last night at sundown. The darkest quarter of the year will be over. I'm definitely ready to turn my mind toward spring.

Traditionally I should be doing spring cleaning and decluttering today to prepare. I think the best I can manage is a load of dishes, but we shall see. Maybe I can manage at least a symbolic attempt. The snowdrops are blooming anyway. They don't allow human events to interfere.

I feel like I've been stalled for a long time.

CM - also, its hard when our beloved pets have health things going on. I hope your bunny will be okay. My elderly dog is also having troubles and I feel like I do not have the emotional space to cope with it. Praying our sweet animals will be okay.

I made some breakfast and am just having some time for me. I think I will try to get a few things done like pay bills and maybe finally try on those shoes and pick which pair to keep. At this point those darned shoes have become a symbol of my unwillingness to change. I want to beat this.

CM, I'm sorry for your loss. It seems rare to find someone aged 99 these days who is in lucid state. I visit a very nice man in a rest home who will be 100 in May and tells me lots of stories of growing up on a tobacco farm in SC (or was it NC?) I hope your trip goes well.

I think we can use the Daily Tally thread however works best for each of us. I plan to add by 'items' - whether donated or thrown out as long as it was not trash to begin with. For example if I clean my room I will count a blanket with holes that I was saving to use but throw out, but will not count a piece of junk mail. I want to keep a real tally so I know how many items left in one year.

SubC, I'm glad you had time with Bean. I had Tot and Acorn over last night and my son and dil came for dinner as well. It was a good visit. When the company moves out I will have space back to have Tot's play room again and will get a crib for Acorn to come spend the night too.

I was supposed to be at work at 8:30 this morning, meetings most of the day, program tonight and done around 8:30pm but I really needed a half day. So I called in that I would not make it this morning and I cancelled a frustrating meeting this afternoon. Now I can stay home and get a few things done. I just could not bear to go in.

I did get the separation finalized so add to my tally 280 pounds of frustration gone forever.

SubC, I know, right? Perspective is everything - I know oodles of people commute more than that, and in super busy places I can't even fathom, like New York City, LA, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Paris, London, and many more.

It's the speed, and the trapped feeling that get me. But I will try and feel you in solidarity with me. Anything positive is good.

My boy bunny last night was having some health issues - to be expected when he is 10 years and 5 months old (approximate - his actual birthdate is unknown). So I didn't get much sleep. Bunny boy is a little better but I'm going to have to keep watch on him. And I hope his condition won't cause anxiety when I have to entrust him to my roommate on Friday.

My life tends not to give me just one big emotional thing at a time. But I did a lot of praying.

CM, I am sorry about your uncle.

Also, please do not take this the wrong way, because I really do understand about your highway driving. Different things are hard for different people.

But when you said "road trip" and "< an hour" my brain was like "so, not quite my drive to work." That is only half highway time though. Maybe you can pass some of the time imagining you are coming to work with me.

Lila, thank you for the update on teen.

Saw Bean this evening. His daddy was cooked so I stopped by to play with him after work on my way to class. Gave dsil a chance to make dinner.

Sil and offspring left the house some time after I did this morning. Two beds to strip and wash, and a pile of towels on top of my washer.

Tired.

Cold.

I'll remember to use the Daily Tally, Lila - whether every day or not but whatever days I have something to tally!

I may not be doing as much for the next few; it depends. My uncle aged 99 passed on Saturday and the funeral will entail a road trip - this is the closer side of the family so that road trip is < an hour anymore since the highway was improved. As usual, I will ride with my cousins from here. Working on the positive thinking re being on the highway. Poco a poco! Already thinking about which tote bag to take along, and so on - also plenty of cold water to sip, fidget foam squishy cat, tablet, books, etc. And yes, a little Xanax the night before to try and prevent anticipatory anxiety plus the usual morning dose.

It helps that this cousin has driven the route many a time and seems to be very good at it, and their vehicle has a good solid feel. This time of year I'll have my parka which doubles as something to put over my lap - sort of the equivalent of a weigted blanket. Anything that is grounding helps. Overpreparing helps, lol.

Family comes from near and far; this is the last of the parental generation for me and my three cousins, one of whom is the surviving daughter of my uncle. I wonder if there'll be any occasion to see some of them again, because funerals seemed to be the only time I have in recent years. If I'd gotten married and/or had kids, there would probably be more connections. No way to tell the future. Half of my first cousins on that side are deceased as well - I'm next to the youngest of my generation.

But... bittersweet though it may be, I'll be honored to be there to say farewell to a sweet man who was always friendly and fun to be around, who served his country in WWII, and so on.

I'm not trying to do too much ordinary stuff this week - a little, but then by Thursday I'll want to start preparing for my trip. I might make my first excursion of the year to the gym on Thursday morning - exercising would be a good thing to help prevent anxiety, burning off some excess adrenaline and all that. Perhaps I'll just walk on the track and not swim yet, because I just colored my hair yesterday.

This year has just been slow getting going, but at least it's going better in terms of starting to deal with backlog, and having more peace of mind. I do find an item here and there to declutter - some have gone as donations to the senior center, some will be for my own little sale booth when they have the bazaar, and the church sale in the summer can have the remainder.

also - I just made a Daily Tally thread. Come post there if you wish!

Good morning SubC, I'm glad to see you posting here. Let's see. Teen was in the hospital for about 6 weeks and came home the first week of December. They have been doing better, I think. Praying it stays better. Having company here moderates Teen's behavior a bit in a good way, and gives them another person their age to hang out with. The company is probably moving into an apartment in February sometime, so that is a little over 3 months of having them here. I have enjoyed them but I am ready to have my space back so my grandtots can come stay and have space to play and sleep.

The trip was a work conference so I went with some friends I chose (volunteers who we paid for them to go) and left Teen home with Son and the company (one of whom is a responsible adult). That was nice.

I have struggled to get back to routine. A bit of jet lag from the 3 hour time change, and some catching up on sleep, and some immediate work drama I had to deal with as soon as I got home (not over yet), and I am wishing for a day off. Yesterday I spent all day dealing with work drama, kid/company drama, and trying to get paperwork done. Today I am trying to finish the paperwork and have to go to a court hearing for my separation from my ex. I hope that goes well. It is very emotionally draining. So I am getting very little actual work done. But tonight Tot and family are coming for dinner so that will be nice. And then tomorrow I have to work over a 12 hour span (not all paid).

I may try to take Thurs and Fri off, because I have to work Sat and Sun.

My house is a wreck, I am tired of hiding my junk in my bedroom, I am embarrassed how little I clean and the state of things but also tired of stacks of boxes everywhere.

I am in the mood to get rid of things but can't right now, or feel like I can't. I don't want commentary on what is going out of my home.

What's new with the rest of you?

Last day of January.

I won't miss it.

I showered.
I brushed my teeth.
I took my vitamins.

Sil is going to take a paper grocery bag of recycling (in her town but not here) with her.

She will probably leave after I leave for school. Dh has already gone to work.

I have class tonight.

Lila, travel is tiring. Rest.

I don't remember you telling us when teen came home.
Did teen come on your trip? Remain behind with your company? How are things going for them?

School fair was good but tiring. Visit with Dh family is going well. Didn't get enough done yesterday though.- need to do some school prep this evening.

Bean is here today too.

I did get hay and straw and feed and order my seeds!

And pick up the living room before they arrived, and the dishes are mostly caught up.

Hello friends,

I am home from my long trip, which was fun and nice and exhausting and filling all at the same time! I am glad I went and glad to be home.

Did a daily tally thread get started yet? I could see going there and putting how many things left each day. I haven't looked for it yet, been a busy first day home. I stayed home today and did the following:

- unpacked both bags and put the backpack in the closet and had Son put the suitcase in the garage
- put dirty laundry in the basket and have jeans and a jacket and towel washed and in the dryer
- picked up dirty towels and put in the hamper
- threw out some bad veggies and an old leftover cake
- cooked some sad looking veggies and ate them and made coffee and washed some dishes
-took out my bathroom trash and picked up junk and threw it away too, and had Son take out the full kitchen trash
- spent time with my dogs and Son, and a little with Teen but not a lot since they are sick and I don't want to catch it

So I did not get a whole lot done, but I got some done and relaxed and watched a little tv, sorted mail, looked at my planner.

The shoes are still lined up by my bed, waiting for me to decide which pair to keep and go donate the rest. Perhaps those will be my first Daily Tally items??

I am not ready for a work week, though. Sigh.

Hey road!

So sorry to hear about your son! Glad he is better!

I failed to meet my minimum goals for the week, but classes went well.

Today:
Feed
Hay
Straw
Order seeds

Try not to offend Dh family when they arrive and I have no extra bandwidth available for faking human.

- Last night I told Dh "I'm going to bed. I'm sick, I'm too tired to do anything useful, and my presence is of no use to you right now because you just want me to be still and quiet and stay out of your personal space (Dh was also tired and had had too much people) and I can do those things in bed."

He told me that was too much truth. When I get worn out, there is a lot of either too much truth or silent staring in an attempt to avoid too much truth. People get offended by both.

But seriously, I was not complaining to or about Dh. There was no criticism. I was simply explaining my actions based on the logical response to the facts I was observing. He could have rebutted the last statement if he felt I had interpreted the situation incorrectly and asked me to change my actions accordingly.

But apparently I was just supposed to say "I'm going to bed." And then wait for him to respond based on him guessing why I was going to bed so early and his emotional reactions to those imagined reasons. - makes no sense to me.

I usually opt for silent staring. It gives Dh a chance to jump in.

Hi all,

Just checking in to say my son was in the hospital all week with pneumonia. He's better and home now. Will check in again when things settle down a bit.

Good morn8ng!

CM, I understand about organizing the computer - it's a big thing even though the files aren't physical because it will pay you back by freeing up time and mental energy.

Ooo! Rubber stamps! Rubber stamps are one of my weaknesses! You can emboss clay with them... good luck on the rubber stamps!

Yesterday was pretty good. I didn't get as much done as far as school as I hoped, and I wasted time online that I could have spent on my seed order, and I stayed up a little bit too late.

But my classes went well (mostly - I couldn't find the materials for part of one demo because I had cleaned them out of my nightmare cabinet and put them neatly into a labelled box on an open shelf - where is the face smacking emoji? - so I wasted a little time and then pushed that part to next week.)

and, I washed and dried the load of laundry and unloaded the dishwasher and put the dirty dishes in it (I may only need to run it once these two days)

I took the compost out, showered, made a fire when I got home, and put the sleigh rocks on the woodstove so that they were ready to tuck in the foot of the bed last night.

My lesson plans for today are partly on the board.

The building manager gave me the old plexiglass from the poster display cases and the beta test from class yesterday says it works for my D&D maps. A few upgrades to make..

I need to fire the kiln after school.

My friend at work has Covid. So far it is very mild and she is taking the medicine. I worry because she has risk factors, but I guess it is not as bad now as it was. She is fully vaccinated. We had a short conversation in the hall Tuesday and she tested positive Thursday morning, but I don't know when I should test - it says if you have symptoms or at least 5 days after exposure, but I still have Bean's cold. I feel like I should probably test tonight (which would be too early to be sure) since Dh sister is coming tomorrow. Otoh, she just had it at Christmas. She'll probably be more worried about Bean's cold.

Ok, must get moving. I have a day to conquer.

Howdy

At the library again - continuing the file directory overhaul I worked on the other day. It's getting down into the brambles right now, individual files to check and delete, stuff like that, so slower going at times. But I feel like it's going to be SO worth it. Not everyone would feel this compulsive need to do this, and to each their own, but it actually energizes me. I've spent so many years with disorganized thoughts that this actually feels like clearing out mental cobwebs. Like I can feel the synapses reordering themselves or something.

And I don't think it'll take forever; soon I'll actually be ready to move forward and write stuff and read and study and learn, do digital art, etc. And things like the photos, I can probably just do in little spurts around the productive work. But the documents have been in such a mess for so long.

Finding more little things here and there to put in go-away boxes. Rubber stamp set (I have a huge tub of stamps in storage and they may be going bye-bye sometime this year - at least most of them - because I realize I'm just not into cardmaking like I was in the 90s/early 00s. Few people are).

Roommate and I went shopping last night - her old computer had been really frustrating; even her IT knowledgeable brother did reinstall of Windows and other techie magic yet couldn't make it work much better. So she found a new one. It wasn't in stock but will be delivered to the house tomorrow. I think I'm about as excited as she is because I've so recently delighted in getting this new computer. We will try not to knock the FedEx man over in our enthusiasm. Or be weird giving him a bunch of bear hugs and kisses, that sort of thing. ROTFL 🤣

Well, I eventually gave up on the seed order, but I got most of the laundry put away and ran the dishwasher.

I just got tired and lost all motivation and watched movies on my iPad.

I don't know if it's a cold or the mood disorder that seems to be getting worse. I'm good in the mornings and in the classroom. I think I should have done the seed order first because it's easier to zombie your way through putting laundry away, but maybe not. Anyway, Dh will be happy that his clothes are back in his drawers instead of in baskets.

While I was keeping myself awash in tea yesterday I found a tin I can part with. So, that's something.

Trying to focus on the next two days. I feel like I'm in survival mode, so my metrics for success are going to be:
Run the dishwasher twice
One load of laundry
Good classes
Clean the chick pen at least once
Don't stay up late online

If I get the seeds ordered, that will be excellent.

So. I'm very bad at this.

I didn't actually finish my chores until 11. 😮

Then I decided that since my second class starts at 11, I would spend that class period catching up on stuff. Took care of submitting the info for my chick refund, unloaded the dishwasher, put some of the dishes in it, started putting laundry away, and registered for my March class.

I meant to stop at 12:15 - which is my lunch - to chill online and have some tea. It's almost 1:30. There are three more baskets of laundry to put away and my tea is steeping.

I still haven't given up on the garden stuff.

Good morning.

Tatoulia, I'm sorry your mom is sick.

The weather did not show up. We got a little rain. It is above freezing outside.

My body appreciated the extra sleep though. I think I am coming down with Bean's cold.

I meant to respond to Lila about the debt a few days ago. I hate interest too! How is the not buying things going? I hope you are still making progress on the debt. Did the shoes leave?

I am having a lazy morning with my stuffy nose, but in a bit I will put on my warm clothes (it's still close to freezing) do my chores, and then get out all my garden stuff and put my seed order together. I'm very late on that this year.

I'm thinking about how easy this would have been if I had gone through the seeds at the end of the season before tucking them away. I lose so much time to not being organized, but then I am so disorganized I can never find the time to get ahead on the organization.

This is what I mean about trying to focus on the areas that will pay off like paying down debt does.

Ok, I would normally be leaving for school in ten minutes. I used some of the extra time for sleeping (which is not a bad thing. I need more sleep especially with this cold.) but if I get moving, I can have my chores done by the time my first class would be starting.

That is too bad, SubC! I'm sure the kids will be disappointed!

We are expecting some weather tomorrow, too. Snow then rain. I have to go into the office which is fine by me

I'm just out of the shower. I saw mom tonight and she was coming down with a cold, which is too bad because the pianist she likes was going to be at her place tonight. He comes about once a month, so she'll be able to hear him again. He's a student at Berklee College of Music, which is down the street from her.

Determined not to stay up too late tonight.

My school is closed tomorrow due to impending weather.

I am going to try to take the day as a gift, but I am sad because now my littlest kids won't have a chance to finish their projects before the art show.

Good to recognize that you don't need one of the books, CM!

SubC, that sounds like a nice day. We received some snow today, which was very pretty.

I slept a lot better last night with just cotton on top of me.

My dishes are also a disaster. I will do them soon.

Tatoulia, I'm glad the visit with your brother went well. Good luck with the tv.

Had fun with Bean today. He definitely enjoyed watching the goats eat the tree. He also cleared some snow off my sidewalk with his bulldozer, and we baked bread, read books, and got out his plastic animals.

I took him to the library and got some groceries after his daddy met us there and picked him up.

Didn't sleep well last night though, so I'm starting the week really tired.

I'm going to carry the 4 bins of Christmas stuff down to the basement in a minute and throw the tree "skirt" (it's a sheet) into the wash.

Then chores and bed. Lots to do before I go to school tomorrow, but I don't think tonight. Dishes are a disaster.

Quick response to Lila re Cubic Feet - I just sorta eyeball it. You could get a cardboard box that is roughly 12x12 inches to get an idea.

But really, any method that works for you is A-OK. Perhaps instead of limiting the thing to cubic feet, we could just have a Daily Tally Thread or something, wherein each person is free to use their preferred units of measurement.

I'm off to the library to do some computer stuff, and will drop off the last dozen or so quilting magazines while I'm there. One of those how-to-write books I got the other day, I didn't really get much out of, so it's already in the category of "to go away." I think I'll take it to the used bookstore, though, because it's a hardcover and I can probably get some trade credit for it. I'm not buying tons of books, don't worry, but on the infrequent occasion that I find something, it's nice to have a bit of trade credit on my account with them.

The other two writing books I think will really jibe well with the stage I'm at with some of my novels. So I don't feel bad about keeping them.

Oh that will be great fun feeding the tree to the goats! Wish I could join.

Great job working on Christmas. I have a few things left to put away.

It was good seeing my brother. We had lunch and I gave him his Christmas gifts. He was pretty good. Very funny. We had some laughs and it was very good. Apparently his tv broke a year ago and he said he wants a new one. I told him instead of Amazon, he should pick one out at a local store and I'll get it and drop it off for him. I will make him give me the money (which he has) because this week I surprised him by ordering and paying for the phone he was trying to get on his own. Unfortunately, i kept getting a glitch every time I went to pay for the phone so now I have three phones coming my way. But the company is being good about it and telling me not to worry. In the meantime, he's having trouble getting the phones delivered. A bit of a problem but I think ultimately will work out.

So since I surprised him by paying for the phone, I won't pay for his new tv. He can do that.

So we had a good time. After I got home, BF came downtown and took me grocery shopping for mom. Mom was pretty good tonight. Thought someone had broken in and stolen a chair. This did not happen.

Now im showered and just fooling around.

I really think that the bedding is the problem right now. I normally do not sleep with any synthetic fabrics and the heated throw is synthetic. I'll stick with just my usual of layers and layers of thin cotton quilts and see if I can get up easier.

The ornaments and lights are off and packed up in their bins.

I took a deep breath and threw away a sentimental one that was broken. I alsosetasideone to donate.

The bins are all in the den.

The tree is in the yard.

Bean is sleeping.

Dishwasher is running.

Chores to do and one last load of wash to start.

Second to last load of laundry for today in washer

Most Christmas decorations except tree are in the den - mostly packed up. I am leaving some red bows, white lights, and a couple of snowmen up through Feb/March.

Kids are bringing Bean and dinner shortly. I will start taking the tree down in a minute while we wait and hopefully finish before bed.

By tomorrow night only "winter" decorations will be not in the basement.

Bean and I are feeding the tree to the goats tomorrow.

Christmas completely removed from dining porch and bedroom.

3rd load of laundry in washer.

Fire going.

Puttering and resting happening a little, but feeling run down in the post-eval-post-adrenaline let down.

Evals turned in - took an hour and a half, I had to help Dh a little.

Tatoulia, I hope lunch with your brother is a good thing.

Back to grinching.

Alone time feeds me, too, SubC. I am also eager for some light. Our offices are set up very nicely with an open floor plan. Only VPS and above have offices and those are on the interior. Everyone else sits where there is full light available. For those in cubes, the sides are short. A lot of people don't have cubes. It's a nice layout. Full light is available to us. Very light and breezy. We have full views of the city. We used to be able to see the water and watch the planes land, but the development of the Seaport district has blocked that on my floor. I think if I went up to our other two floors I'd still be able to see those things. I sit right by the windows and in fact, as certain times at the end of the day I have to close some of the blinds because the lights of the sunset go right into my eye. Which windows affect me changes during the year.

I still need more light, however plus it's been grey lately. I gave away my light therapy box and I'm good with that.

Meeting my brother for lunch.

Yes I think the shots are making me tired. I do think I'm at the point where I can fight through that because I'm sleeping more but not necessarily feeling as tired. I also changed up my blanket game and that is not doing me any favors. I'm sleeping with warmer covers on me and I like to sleep colder. So I'll remove the heated throw tonight and see how I do. I bet it goes a lot better.

I hope you husband can upload your evals, SubC. Have a great day, everyone.

Good morning!

Happy new year!

Rabbit rabbit rabbit - lol!

🐇🐇🐇

It is snowing here, expecting about 2".

Dh says he is going to upload my evals for me today because he thinks he can do it a lot faster and then I will have my whole day.

I will still mostly be taking Christmas stuff down and cleaning, but that's ok. It will help me feel more centered.

I like the snow, but we need a grocery run.

Tatoulia, I would ask your dr. If the sleeping could be related to the shots. It sounds like those are working though?

Lila, you are doing well. It would be very hard for me with company so long.

Waiting to hear on the shoes. You can do it!

What feeds me? Definitely alone time, which is just not happening. Light. I've been staying after school because I can work all alone without distractions, but the lights are terrible - those overhead tube things. Puttering around in my house or working on my pottery. A sense of progress or accomplishment - which the evaluations don't give me because I see no inherent value in them and they will have to be done again in May. Bean. Sometimes Dh. Sometimes Dh is a drain. Depends.

I started a load of laundry.

Updates later.

Hey! Everyone's here! And doing pretty well! Good work on reducing stuff, everyone!

Good job on finishing the evaluations, SubC. I sort of phoned in one of my evils. My director may bounce it back to me.

Lila, enjoy the time in FL! I should book a trip to visit a friend. Leaving my mom would be tough right now.

I think it was road who suggested I get my hormone levels checked. I see the doctor on the 30th so I will have my blood checked then. I am feeling less tired and yet, I slept all day. Is it boredom? I just cannot tell.

Cm good for you to get rid of cubic feet! Well done! Road you are doing a fantastic job!

I'm not doing much these days. I'm not sure why. But I do have more clothes to go. So that's good. I'm trying stuff on as it starts to fit and I'm making decisions as to what I should be wearing. I am so looking forward to reaching the next stage of my clothes. Stuff that looks like me and I bought because I liked it. Not the stop gap stuff from the past two plus years.

I am so pleased to see that everyone is working hard. Good job revisiting the books, CM. I know that the kindle book reader isn't for everyone but it has prevented me from getting actual books. It has saved me, really.

Ok, I might go shower and then read. Need to get my sheets out of the dryer and fold them and put them away. I also have to get my delicates from the washer and hang them. Always something.

SubC, I am sorry about all the stuff happening. The chicks would make me so sad too. It is so grey here as well. "My soul needs gas." Indeed. How will we fix this? What fuels you? I guess what fuels me is serving, and also being alone. I get pretty much no time alone now with the houseguests, but I can stay in bed later in the morning some days and read. And I enjoy the company more than I thought I would. I am also going on a business trip to Florida next week which will be so nice, to get some sun and get out of this grey pit. Be sure if the sun comes out to be in it.

CM, I am curious. How would you measure Cubic Feet Gone? Let me know and I might try. Although cubic inches might be more my speed lately! Or maybe it could be "items gone." Like how many items went into the donate box each day or something? Thank you for the tips. You give good insights. I am a hawk! I shall swoop!

So far today I:
- threw away some trash in my bedroom and bathroom
- cleaned the inside of the master toilet bowl. I need to get some paper towels in there and cleaner to do the outside.
- juiced a bunch of oranges that were getting old and kind of hard but still had juice in them. Drank it. So good.
- made a nice lunch for me and houseguest, using up produce and items in the fridge that needed to be used
- went through my whole "to do" bin that sits next to me, threw out the trash papers, did some tasks, filed some of the papers, sorted the rest
- found more papers and mail on the counter and sorted and tossed as well
- washed a few dishes
- looked over finances and accounts, bills, credit cards, got stressed out. I have stopped using credit cards and only use a debit card now with no overdraft, but I am trying to pay down the cards from before and it makes me stressed looking at the debt. It is not a ton of debt, maybe $2500 on cards plus like $3k of paying my car. But I see interest charges and get so upset. I've been paying them down a lot, probably 50% of my paycheck each month. I only work part time so that's a lot but I am frugal and paying interest was upsetting me. The fees for a balance transfer are a lot so I plan to try and file my taxes as soon as I get my W-2 and maybe I will get some money back and can pay this stuff down. I hate hate hate debt. Another reason not to buy stuff on amazon anymore and not to buy anything I don't totally need.

Drinking tea and relaxing a bit before I look at bills some more and maybe clean my room more. I still need to get those shoes into the donate bin. I did get them out (5 pairs I think) but one is missing it's mate - how?? - so I will try them all on and decide. This is VERY HARD and is stressing me out but I keep thinking, "someone should get to wear these before they get old and are no good."

Hi Lila!

Finished the evaluations, still need to upload and submit. Going out with Dh tonight.

Also in the "need to lose weight" club, but not currently in the "doing something about it" club.

It has been overcast all day.

Yep, if I could lose 20 it'd help a lot. There's more than that I want to shed, but the 20 would at least get me to the point where I was when I had lost the 30 a few years back and felt so good. And it would let me buy pants again and not feel icky about trying them on. The challenge of it was that that point was my plateau point, which made me vulnerable to the regain. So... if I get the 20 off again, I'll have to reckon with the plateau once more. Yikes. But first things first, let's get the 20 off!

It's cold and wet outside. So far precipitation is is in a liquid state. Looking at the radar I see that our area is maybe not going to get as much of the frozen stuff as further north will. It remains to be seen how it will play out. Basically this is more of a nuisance than a serious storm, but a good day to be snug and cozy indoors.

Lila, I totally understand what you mean about poverty. I've had different circumstances - never married or had kids, though I had wished to very much. Being a single woman is just hard insofar as making ends meet unless one is a successful career person which my anxiety and ADHD tended to preclude ever being. Things/stuff have served as a buffer against loneliness and also as something to enjoy and keep my mind occupied. The problem comes in when there is just too much, and it gets harder and harder to separate the important from the unimportant. But I'm learning.

Here's a little tip just off the top of my own head; later I'll find some of the ones from books to share. Lately, I've been making a concerted effort to be more mindful when looking at my stuff. It has been so easy for years and years to become sort of blind to it. I'm trying to spot an object, like a hawk spots prey, and swoop down on it and pluck it from the surroundings and carry it off to get rid of. The object will be something that I've taken for granted but that in this newer state of mindfulness I suddenly look at differently and go, Why have I kept this?

It's a habit that seems to be growing more... habitual! The more I do it, the more I do it. I think it's a good way of easing back into decluttering when, especially in 2022, I'd gotten so burnt out and just drifted along in survival mode and didn't do very much. And when the thought of making a Big Decluttering Push is desirable yet sounds too intimidating. This little hawk swoop thing works at the moment, it fits where I'm at.

Wow the time flies. I worked all week, some days for 12 hours with a small break in the middle. Getting things done for a trip next week.

Thank you SubC for the perspective on the shoes. I do want someone else to enjoy them. I was so busy this week I did nothing about those shoes, but it is my day off and I will make a decision about which ONE pair to keep, and donate the rest, today.

I did return the 3 amazon items I had and have not ordered anymore clothes. I had to start hiding the clothing ads on my fb feed because I was getting them constantly and they were triggering me to buy more. I refuse. No more clothes I don't NEED. What I really need to do is lose 20 pounds and I would have a whole new wardrobe in my closet to wear.

Tatoulia, haha, I wrote the above before I read your note about you also needing to lose 20 and things would fit! I guess we have a goal, then, right? 20 pounds. Let's do it.

omg, your words are a perfect quote to help us declutter! You said-
"I cannot let bad feelings clutter up my home. I don't need a home of bad decisions or foolish money spending stay here to remind me."

Wow! I love this and will think of it as I work.

CM, aww thank you! I hope you do win the lottery, lol. I think a huge part of my hangup is having been in poverty a good part of my life (even while working. Single mom stuff, abusive ex, lot of kids, etc). I learned to hoard when my first husband left. I had so much need and my kids were little. I have some kind of subconscious emotional wall to getting rod of things I might need and be unable to afford again. Even when I think logically about it, my body turns anxious. I realized what this was when I was hoarding instead of donating because then I could sell the things for food money if I was broke. Or have a yard sale if I needed to pay the power bill. I figured this out and worked on it mentally and came to this: If someone would pay me X dollars for all my unneeded stuff, I could easily box most of it up and give it to them. If a truck came and said "put all your unnecessary stuff in this truck and we will pay you $5k for it" I could do it. I would put the 5k in a safe deposit box and then if I am super broke and about to lose my house or get my power shut off I could go there and get cash to pay it instead of selling stuff. Does that make sense? I could do it.

But then I think the next step: is living a life of clutter and disarray worth $5k? For your life? And I know it is not. But I have not gotten past it yet.

CM I see you are in the 'lose some weight' club as well. We need to get on that! Thank you for the good tips and ways to think differently and objectively about decluttering. I will try that!

Road!! Good to hear from you! You have so much on your plate. I am sending positive and energetic vibes to you for all you are trying to accomplish. Do try the bright light. It made a huge difference for me when I had seasonal affective disorder. And you are the one who has lost weight here so thanks for leading the way!

You all have gotten so much done! It's inspiring me to do things today. I have not totally caught up on your posts - just through Road's. I will come back and read more after I do some stuff! Will report back.

Good morning.

CM, it sounds like you have good location choices.

I am finding I get more done when I stay late in my classroom.

I put gas in the car.

I put my Friday class work and information into a portable file - a small thing, but it should pay dividends in time.

I have six evaluations left to write.

The chicks did well at school and are still doing well.

My daughter texted that she is in line to register Bean for preschool next year.

Off to start laundry and grind out these last evals.