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Hoarding Help Message Boards : The Daily Chat : What are you doing today 2023
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What are you doing today 2023

Posted: 27 April 2023 - 12:33 PM

That guy is a first class JERK. I challenge you to wear the cardigan proudly and defiantly and if he opens his pie hole, just give him a cold side eye and say not one word.
Posted: 27 April 2023 - 11:58 AM
second post -

This is not really a hoarding issue, but maybe it kind of is... I have no where else to share this.

Remember the last clothing item I bought was online, only $13, was a cardigan type thing? Well it came and I LOVED it. Not only is the fabric nice, thick and soft, I liked the colors, it fits perfectly. And the right fabric weight for spring and cool summer nights. I felt so happy to have something new to wear to work!

Well this week I wore it to a social thing at my work with about 50-60 people coming. And this guy walks up to me and makes this comment about my cardigan, basically making fun of the pattern on it. In front of people. And now when I look at it I can't unsee what he said, and I wonder if other people think that about it. I feel stupid, I feel embarrassed. I am not a fashion person and I thought it looked cute but really no one has complimented me on it, and maybe it just looks dumb. Now I am so upset, I don't think I can even wear it. This guy is at a lot of events and so are the other people and I keep thinking they will always think that when I wear it. I am so unreasonably sad about this. Super sad, I could cry. I have so few things to wear, and now I am pretty sure this is not going to be worn again.

Posted: 27 April 2023 - 11:50 AM
hi all! SubC, you didn't scare me off, I like questions. I was just work-work-working. You're right, my job is weird. I was doing a lot of work as a volunteer for several years, no pay, just what I felt I was called to in ministry. I took on a big role during covid but there was no budget to hire me, so I just did it. Found it very fulfilling. Last year I was hired part time. But it was for that big role, mainly, and one smaller role. So anything I do for those two things, up to 20 hours, I get paid for. Anything else is volunteer. Well, some of my volunteer work is a commitment that I made for 3-4 years, before I was hired. So I can't just stop that part and it takes maybe 10 hours a week. Then there are some things that are just things I have done for years and I have not been able to find anyone else to take it over, and I kind of like it, so I keep doing it. Then there are a few things I roll my eyes at and would like to get out of. Those are the bits I am slowly extracting myself from, whether there is a substitute or not. So I work about 20 hours paid and 15 hours volunteer each week. When my 3 year commitment is up, that should decrease by 10 hours.

Complicated, I know.

I too suffer migraines, and am not happy to think it could be a stroke risk.

I was supposed to go in today for a couple of hours but have been fighting a bad headache. I opted out of about 5 hours of volunteer stuff between yesterday and today, so I am home this morning. AND, you will be happy to know I wrote OFF on both Friday and Saturday this week, cancelled one appointment, and told people I am busy! So I get my two days off. I am working from home today both on personal and work stuff.

Hope to get some serious cleaning and decluttering done!
Posted: 27 April 2023 - 08:33 AM
Tatoulia, the mother of the mother-daughter bunny team will still be there. I am not in any shape mentally to tackle the whole thing on my own. If they both had to be away I'd need my own backup. I just wish the daughter was more the type to text back and forth; although where she is heading may not even have cell phone service. I'm not good at being the one with whom the buck stops when I am just trying to keep on an even keel myself and not have my agoraphobia and separation from home anxiety flare up.

However, I am trying to think positive, remember my Poco a Poco philosophy, and believe that if we got in a jam there would surely be a neighbor and/or some bunny club member who could pitch in. And the house is near a fire station and a hospital and the police substation is only a couple miles away. The Catholic parish I used to attend is two or three blocks from the bunny house as well. So really there are safety anchors all around, I won't be out in the middle of nowhere.

SubC, I have been going to a clinic where I have a new resident doctor every couple of years. They work on teams under experienced physicians. I've been pleased with the care; they helped me connect with the surgeon and the physical therapy etc. I do think at some point though I might want to look for someone in their own practice with whom I could have more continuity as I get older. I might also prefer to let go of my psych doc and just have the GP write the scripts for my Xanax (hopefully by then I will be completely off antidepressants, and the only other thing I take is thyroid). The migraine thing I plan to keep researching supplements for. It also may get triggered by changes in sleep or activity, so I should ease into those gradually. I'm still glad I went for that swim though, and surely the next one will be more routine. My circulation should improve with exercise, too.

I sure had envisioned spring being more warm by now and being able to sit outdoors and work on a backlog of crafts that needed painting. Stuff that I'd hoped to market to help the bunny club, and that the supplies for have been a logjam preventing progress with other decluttering. Maybe in May this will be possible. Any good weather we get is always spoken for six ways to Sunday, being also needed for storage unit progress and gardening and - dare I hope - just a little R&R out in nature to destress once in awhile? I can't clone myself; I must choose wisely what to do when good weather presents itself. Indecision and second guessing are frequently present in those moments.
Posted: 27 April 2023 - 06:50 AM
CM, I am sorry about the poor doggy.

I think the secret is that calm and boring only come in bits and we just have to learn to grab them as they go by. I wonder why the stress always bleeds into the calm bits, but the calm never bleeds into the stressful bits.

Except for Tatoulia - Tatoulia, you are an inspiration. I can only imagine if I had had cleaners show up while I was still in bed. Honestly, I don't think I could cope with "I never know when they are coming." That would be a deal breaker for me.

I hope the bunny house is a positive experience. There must be a lot of cleaning with so many bunnies!

I remember a monsoon in Kansas in august on our way back from moving dd2. Horrible rain, but one of the most gorgeous rainbows I've ever seen.

CM, Do you have a primary care doctor who you see regularly? I want you to stay healthy!

Lila, I hope I didn't scare you off firing all those questions at you. Block off your days off. Tell people you are sorry, but you have appointments that can't be moved. (They are appointments with rest and recovery!)

40 days to my vacation..
Posted: 26 April 2023 - 09:31 PM
Ps hello Lila! Did not mean to snub you! Yes! Please try to enforce two days off! You need that time for yourself!
Posted: 26 April 2023 - 09:30 PM
Hi everyone!

I took today off and spent with BF. Bright, sunny day with just the perfect amount of cool in the air really lovely day.

My cleaners came early (I never know what time they come) and I was still in bed and my alarm was still on. If someone comes through a door while the alarm is activated, it beeps for thirty seconds. If a window, it immediately goes off. So I had plenty of time to jump up and turn the alarm off. House is nice and clean, naturally.

CM you are so brave to sleep at the bunny house. Will you be the only 2-legged individual there? I'm glad the bed is comfy! Also, congratulations on earning $40 at the garage sale! You got rid of stuff and made money! Yay, you!

SUBC! The potter you mentioned does beautiful work. I'm thrilled you bought one of his pieces!

I'm working on another donation bag of big clothes. Some I can give to mom, some to another woman, and the rest to be donated. I bought a nice set of six vintage dishes today, very nice, that I will use for new kitty. I will get rid of all but two of my old cat dishes. I love the little plates my last furry friend used but it's paining me to see them. I'll keep two (I know which two) and donate the rest. I have kept her toys.

As BF has been cleaning out his place to get ready to go overseas, he keeps finding all sorts of my last kitty's toys. When she was younger, she'd travel with me to his house. And she would stay with him when I'd be away on business. And he keeps finding these little finger puppets I'd buy for her at the hospital gift shop when I was a volunteer in the surgical unit. So long ago.

Goodnight, dear friends.
Posted: 26 April 2023 - 04:44 PM
Well, my bunny girl is doing great now. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for roommate's dog. He started to feel unwell Sunday night, and Monday morning had left a mess on the living room rug. That became a pattern and he is still pretty under the weather. Started to maybe get better then stalled out. She's taking him to the vet Friday morning, soonest time they had. It has been chaotic here, with roommate unable to leave the house. Dog can't go out in the yard because he's of a breed that might try to escape. She's trying to get things like probiotics into him per vet advice.

Weather has been chilly and rainy; we need the rain of course, having been in pretty much a prolonged drought with only sporadic rains for months. It's still not a lot of rain. Sometimes May brings monsoon season here, though. It's not impossible storage unit work weather but I hate to be gone so for now I am holding off. Sleep has been hard for roommate with dog waking her up several times a night. I've needed more sleep just from the stress, though I have to be careful not to get too much.

I did make it to the gym on Monday, swam, but in the shower had a sudden onset of migraine. I've been googling this - it's called a "cortical spreading depression" and has something to do with the electrical activity in the brain. I'm going to keep tabs on it - there can be an association with stroke risk, and my mother and her mother had strokes (grandma died from hers but that was in the fifties). And my paternal grandfather was epileptic and my dad had migraines. So we have/had fritzy brains I guess. Magnesium is supposed to help with this cortical thing and I do take it, but perhaps I need more. I also wonder if the physical activity, on top of tiredness from last week's caring for miss bunny, was a trigger.

So anyhoodles, I am so ready for nice enjoyable spring weather and boring stressfree life! Where do I go to sign up for that?

Next weekend, the first in May, I will be spending nights at the bunny shelter house, perhaps I mentioned that. I want to be prepared well ahead of time for the change in routine so that it will go smoothly. It's a tiring thing; they have 30-40 rabbits to look after. Daily trip to the grocery store, different routine, etc. Not my favorite things but I will do my best. There is a nice bed with a new mattress and that feels wonderful, though they get up at zero dark thirty to start the hourly feeding rotations.

After that, dare I hope for the aforementioned boring calm life? :P
Posted: 23 April 2023 - 06:46 PM
Lila, is the training voluntary or required? Unpaid or paid? Does it benefit you, or people you do work for? I don't really understand how your job works because I get the impression you get paid to do your job a certain number of hours, but then your volunteer work is Also doing your job but just not getting paid?

Did I tell you I drew a box around a week in June and wrote "(Subclinical) on vacation" in it?

Dh family wants to know if we are coming east to visit this summer. They haven't even arrived to torment us in May yet.

Tatoulia, I forgot to tell you good job on the clothes.

Today was a hard day for me. I had plans, but they didn't happen. I didn't get enough sleep. Dh woke me up early because he went to play golf and then I was awake, and I don't nap well. The sun never came out.
Posted: 23 April 2023 - 06:13 PM
hi all. Catching up on your posts and was struck by the idea that filling our time is a form of hoarding, like filling our house (overfilling). I think I do that sometimes.

I have not done any cleaning or decluttering. When I got back from vacation it has just been work work work nonstop, along with my nephew coming to visit us for a week. It was a welcome visit and he helped with various things. He left today.

SubC, I never did clean under my bed. I stopped working on the room and did not get to looking in the vent either. I was just working all the time and then did not want to disappear into my room to clean while I had company here.

Everything is a mess. I did load the dishwasher and it is running. I did a load of laundry last night and need to put it away. My kitchen is so messy and needs a good declutter and scrub. But my arm is still in a brace so I am limited. I also have to go to work in less than an hour (again) and will be gone until night. I need a break but I am not about to get one anytime soon. Hoarding activities in my life?? Maybe. Some of it is my job but only about half of it. The rest is volunteer work.

I really need to somehow enforce my two days off a week. I had a training on BOTH days this week. What am I supposed to do with that? ugh.
Posted: 23 April 2023 - 06:29 AM
Good morning!

CM, I am glad you found some success with your garage sale. I hope your bunny is ok.

My sale went pretty well.I sold most of the new stuff and a couple of older pieces. I think I may have spent more than I made though. It will be close.

There is an artist who works out of our building - you can google him (patrick dougherty ceramics) who is amazing and an elder statesman of sorts. He is currently fighting cancer for as many good days as he can get, and yesterday was one. He had a booth and the studio set him up with some comfortable chairs (Beth laughed when he said he only needed one chair - he ended up with five and was holding court in a "potter's lounge" all day.) and Dh let me buy one of his raven bowls - so that was mostly where my money went. - Dh and I have a "buy real art from living artists" policy.

I also got a beautiful hand painted flower mug for my mom and a serving bowl and two matching small bowls from a friend whose work is slowly filling my kitchen.

Patrick walked around the sale in the afternoon and he gave me some very kind and supportive feedback on my work. Also word got out that he was there and a bunch of people from the studio who haven't been around for years made a point of showing up and it was fun to see some of them!

Had dinner at dd1's house last night with Bean, sil, Dh, and heartdaughter and her wife. Very fun and laughed a lot, but stayed too late!

Today I am going to try to crawl out from under my week.
Posted: 22 April 2023 - 08:57 PM
Hi ladies,

This will truly be the short version but just want to say Hi.

Garage sale Friday went well. I just made 40 bucks, but it's 40 bucks I didn't have before, it was enjoyable knowing that people were surprisingly interested in my rubber stamps, and hopefully the stamps will be used and enjoyed. I still have some of them; they can go in the church sale.

Today we had a bunny club booth at a pet supply store and it was nice though I got there a little late (see below). The store was smaller and quieter, and the staff very friendly, interested, and helpful. They are open to our doing it regularly. We do need more volunteers still so that we can take turns and not everybody have to do it each time.

My bunny, the reason I was late - she has had a week of off and on tummy trouble so I needed to make sure she was eating okay before I joined the others. It's been crazy weather here, surprise surprise - big differences in temperature. Wondering if that could make a difference for the bunnies, in adjusting. Or maybe it's just an unknown cause. I've been tweaking her diet with some success - more hay, less pelleted food.

Looking into some more things I can do. Hesitant about the vet because I don't know if she really needs strong medications; I think we can get on top of this with nutrition and exercise. She is such a sweet girl, sensitive, headstrong, and always has been a mommy's girl. She took to me from the moment I met her when I still had another female rabbit. When that one passed unexpectedly I knew I had to have this one, no question.

Next week there are no added commitments on my schedule! I hope it stays that way!
Posted: 22 April 2023 - 07:56 PM
I donated a bag of clothes today. Very pleased with that. I did not return my shoes yet. We did some grocery shopping and we went to visit mom. She was wearing a yellow cotton dress I gave her and looked very pretty. It was buttoned wrong but I didn't say anything. I did mention that she wasn't wearing any underwear. She wears diapers and I've noticed lately that she's been skipping them. So I got her organized on that front. Always something.

I have to go swap the laundry into the dryer. I'm keeping up with the dishes and folding all laundry, etc. sometimes that's a victory in itself.
Posted: 22 April 2023 - 09:30 AM
I'm excited for your sale, SubC! Today I have to return a pair of shoes and I have a bag of clothes to donate. Some never worn or only worn once or twice. Big clothes. Glad that someone will be excited to find them at good will!
Posted: 21 April 2023 - 08:41 PM
Stopped at a garage sale.

Bought: flat plastic box of fondant tools for clay
Three display stands for my sales (used two to set up tonight, might not keep the other)
Oven mitt
4 square cork boards (impulse, they just looked so USEFUL)

Sale tomorrow wish me luck.
Posted: 21 April 2023 - 05:02 AM

Notebook is working well, but as you may have noticed, everything works well for a few weeks.

Still working on decluttering my life. Too much to do today!

Ducks, rabbit, pottery sale set up.

I feel like Alice's white rabbit.
Posted: 20 April 2023 - 08:52 PM
Hi everyone. I went through my blouses today and have at least two more to get rid of! They are hanging off of me. I know I have to go through my linen pants and get those ready to donate.

I have a ton of laundry to do. I did get my towels washed and my sheets washed. I'm too busy these days. After work I met two girlfriends for dinner (one was my intern last year and she's graduating in two weeks). Then I went to mom's and checked in on her. Now I'm in my pjs and running the dishwasher.

Time for bed. I hope everyone is doing okay!
Posted: 19 April 2023 - 06:48 AM
Keeping a small notebook is a good idea. I frequently have one in my bag. Writing it down vs typing the list into my phone is more satisfying.

I'm showered and need to get ready for work. I need to up my energy today. We have a lecture to go to tonight. Tomorrow night I'm having dinner with my former intern. She graduates in a few weeks. Then I'm pretty sure I have Friday to myself.

Im working on reducing here and it is making me feel better. I have a nice Christmas outfit that I bought and never wore. Someone will be glad to find that at goodwill
Posted: 19 April 2023 - 05:54 AM
Tatoulia, at my house the family motto is "any meal mom doesn't cook is a good meal."

There are a lot of things about Dh family that make me sad. He does have some wonderful aunts, uncles, and cousins.

I forgot to say that I put two small items from my birthday treat bag from heartdaughter's birthday into my teacher friend's prize jar. They were tiny, but something. I recycled the prize bag, but I am keeping the notepad and the punching bag. Currently carrying the notepad in my pocket and using it up for my daily "don't forget" lists.
Posted: 18 April 2023 - 08:19 PM
Oh your poor husband! I'm sad that his family doesn't understand him. I'm glad he had you.

I'd give dinner tonight a C- My friend gave it a solid B. Not sure if she was being polite. I'll cook something better next week. She loves my lemon pasta.

We pay plastic on my couch ends tonight. Trying to keep my grandma cat from scratching it up. We shall see.

I need to start the dishwasher and go to bed. I'm tired and have a headache. Two days in a row with a headache.
Posted: 18 April 2023 - 06:10 AM
Tatoulia, the cruise itself is a no for Dh. He has severe anxiety and travel and lack of control both make it worse. Being trapped on a cruise boat with other people in charge of his schedule and the location changing daily - hard no. (Hard is not my father's two word no, it's another h word.)

Unfortunately in Dh family a lack of interest in traveling and an inability to simply ignore suffering are character flaws.

His dad simply cannot understand why he wouldn't/can't just ignore being physically ill, in pain, and exhausted, and go on the trip - Dh "why?" Fil seems to think there is some potential for enjoying the experience or that it has value in and of itself? I would be restating what he seems to be trying to say back to him, and then if he agreed that I understood, I would have to tell him "There is no point in continuing this conversation. The world view you are expressing qualifies as insanity in my reality." (Then fil would probably tell me you can't have your own reality, to which I would likely counter "why not? You do.")

Dh recognized at dinner last night that I no longer have a relationship with his parents. They are just people I know who have (mostly unhealthy) relationships with some of my I'mrelatives.

I'm glad the new kitty is working out for both of you. Please try not to feel guilty about your mom. You are wonderful to her. I hope my kids treat me half as well! As you say, there are only so many hours in the day.

This morning my book told me that if I follow the process I can reclaim as many as ten hours in my week. I have already reclaimed 11.5 for fall by dropping classes, and it was a very hard choice, and I know it will not be enough. Also the book does not seem to understand that I have pretty much pared out all the things I don't like that can go.

Speaking of - things to do!
Posted: 17 April 2023 - 09:06 PM
Oh dear on the travel. I get it. I would love to do one of those river cruises but you need to pick your travel companions carefully. A trip depends on no tension and clear expectations. There are definitely people I'd do a weekend with but not a week or more.

Okay I am going to go to bed soon. My little friend is sound asleep next to me. She's really a sweetheart. She's adorable around all visitors but ultimately devoted to me. I'm glad I got her. I was a little worried I'd gotten a new cat too soon after saying goodbye to Miss Kitty.

I did not see my mother today and I'm feeling very guilty. And I have to be in office and then a friend for dinner tomorrow. I'll try to find a way to make this work. I'm most worried about whether kitty has proper water. If I can get to work early enough tomorrow, I'll try to exit at 430. Won't be easy after taking today off but I'll try to focus and not waste time. There are only so many hours in a day.

Down time is very important, SubC. I luckily have a lot of it in my life, which mainly comes from living alone. It's lonelier than most people might like, but it suits me.

Posted: 17 April 2023 - 06:43 PM

I'm glad you enjoyed the marathon.

I took Bean to the library. Then I met Dh for dinner. It was good and a nice interlude, but let's just say I am not decluttering my waistline.

I started the little kiln again. Will pop back out soon. I'm really going to like this I think.

My unbusy book says that like decluttering, you don't start by adding, you start by subtracting. Don't shoehorn in "self care" and "relationship building" activities, just stop doing things. And that it's equally hard. Oh good. (Sarcasm)

Dh parents asked us to go on a European river cruise with them and his siblings and their spouses. Fortunately for Dh that is (as my father would put it) "a two word no." This has led to several conversations and a lot of truth between Dh and his parents the last few days. Apparently his father said "we always thought you didn't like to travel because of (me). But apparently, it's YOU."

Dh feels obligated to try to come up with some alternative form of family vacation that would actually be enjoyable. I think that might require an alternative family. I shared some stuff from the book with him and told him I am not interested in investing my life energy in this event at this time. He was ok with that.

I wish I had had Bean longer today. Bean is definitely on my keep list. He sparks joy.
Posted: 17 April 2023 - 03:39 PM
Congratulations on getting to the storage space! And good for you to go through through rubber stamps! Great progress, CM! Good to hear you so upbeat!

SubC, you do a lot and take on a lot. And teaching is a very difficult profession. The students have depend on you beyond learning, which must be satisfying and draining all at the same time. You need to look out for yourself.

We had a great time at the marathon. Now I'm home and figuring out what to do. I have an appointment in my office at 9:30 tmr and I cannot be late. I have to figure out what to wear so that I am ready. I also have to make the French toast casserole tonight so I can pop it in the oven tomorrow night when I get home from work. I have a friend coming over for dinner and I thought that breakfast for dinner would be nice.

Cool rainy day here. My kind of weather, to be sure. Good for the runners at the marathon, too.
Posted: 17 April 2023 - 02:42 PM
CM, I can't keep tract of my life. I certainly don't expect you to.

I was talking to an online friend who has been hospitalized a couple of times. She said no one around her ever sees it coming - quote: "I cope, I cope, I cope, I don't cope - hospital."

Projects are commitments too. A lot of my commitments count as projects.

Yay floorspace! Iirc, you did finally get rid of all the rickety shelves, right? So now, we just have good shelves and they are starting to get organized! If you get enough floorspace, can you sort in the storage space on windy days? Or is there a danger of locking yourself in?

Bean has a cold, which is making him take a very long nap. Daddy said not to wake him, so I have had a rest and gotten some things done. Mostly clearing off the couch and sorting papers into large groups so I can sort them into subgroups and get somethings done later I pulled a little recycling as I went.

This is a break, but I think I will get back to work - he should be awake any second.

We're meeting his daddy at the library at 5:30, so about an hour and a quarter until we have to leave. We'll probably head out early and enjoy the library.
Posted: 17 April 2023 - 01:11 PM
I can see that now upon further reflection, SubC, that you were stressed before - it's hard for me to keep track of the posts. Hoping one of these days I will be on the computer more and not having to speed read them to catch up as often! I will have better comprehension that way.

The Unbusy book sounds cool. I remember right before the pandemic feeling like I had too many commitments, and I didn't have nearly as many as a lot of people have. Of course all my projects are other ways I get overly busy.

Okay, now I have to say that I am absolutely TICKLED PINK today, to the point of using Comic Sans, and then I will say why!

It is... wait for it... NOT WINDY today! And I've been over at the storage unit as per my plans, and making great progress! Rubber stamps were the main focus - I found the big tub, and a medium tub I'd forgotten about, and a couple of other small cases. Got them pared down - I may not be ready to eliminate all rubber stamps, but I kept only a few for holidays, my rabbits and cats, and a few scenery ones that are fun, and some misc. for mixed media collage.

So there are stamps pulled out to go to the parish school as well as the garage sale (details in Daily Tally). I'd hoped maybe the keepers would fit in the medium tub but they had to go in the bigger one - it's not huge though, and for now I'm satisfied with how that went. The medium one may be just what I've been looking for for my doll clothes patterns which have been an unruly mess in tote bags, etc.

Not only that, but where these tubs were is an area where there are also some sweater box size containers of quilt fabric. I was able to get them on the shelves instead of some of them on the floor in front of said shelves. That's going to make it easier to go through them or whatever ends up happening with quilting fabric later on.

And there were some jumbled books in this general area, and some of them were ones I have no difficulty at all letting go of, some rather nice that can go in the garage sale. Leftovers on to the used bookstore and/or church sale. Etc. The bins holding books are neatened up a bit too.

Books got put in crazy places a long time ago when I was getting rid of rickety shelves. I've been chipping away at that. This latest round is beginning to yield actual FLOOR SPACE and I foresee the books getting corralled and culled in the near future.

I'm at the house having lunch, then will change into shorts - one Kansas-y thing still, we had a cold front over the weekend (which did bring desperately needed rain, so can't complain) and now it's trying to be April again, resulting in a 40-degree difference from morning till afternoon. So I will likely want my shorts after I eat.

More later - toodle-oo until then!
Posted: 17 April 2023 - 11:36 AM
Ps I did my taxes last night. Finally. I really put those off. I even did my friend's the other night and still didn't finish mine. Foolish.
Posted: 17 April 2023 - 11:33 AM
I'm excited to hear about the garage sale, CM! What is your goal for the sale? Is it to get rid of everything you bring? Make a certain amount of money? Let me know if you've thought about that! Also, try to not buy stuff. I know id fall down in that department.

SubC I would love to buy one of your pots and hippos! I'm excited for your sale! I am also glad to hear that the small kiln is working out for you!

It is marathon Monday so I will head out to the marathon soon. We don't get the day off because we are a National company and this is a local holiday. So I used my floating holiday for this.

I have a small bag started of things to say goodbye to. I'm pretty pleased about that!

Well I have to hop in the shower. Yes the elites have crossed the finish line but I'm there for everyone else. People will be running though the afternoon and evening.
Posted: 17 April 2023 - 05:17 AM
Good morning!

I don't think it came on quickly. I could see it building up, I just couldn't stop it. Dh told his parents last night that I am "burnt out on my job" and cutting back my hours next year.

It's not my job love, it's my whole life! And it's not that my job is bad. None of it is bad, there is just too much!

I checked out a book called "getting (un) busy" and there is a part where he says busy people are like hoarders. They have overfilled their lives with good things until the things are no longer good and are actually causing harm.

Great. There goes my brain again...

CM, I hope you have a successful garage sale!

Tatoulia, it is great that you are still losing weight and getting rid of those too big clothes!

Lila, you made a lot of progress this weekend! I'm glad you have a cleaner, healthier place to sleep.

Did you find clothes under the bed?

I worked in the pottery studio yesterday and Dh came out and did some things in the shop, and he noticed that I am making more space out there. Slowly, but it is going in the right direction. I have been trying to finish a few new things for my sale. If I finish them all, it will be only 18 new things - all small (plus hippos) my goal for the sale this weekend is to sell 20 items that are not hippos. That might be overly ambitious.

I have a small test kiln that belonged to Dh uncle. He actually gave it to my daughter - who decided that a more equipped studio space 45 minutes from her house with a babysitter was far better than her own crowded space in her garage. Anyway, yesterday I fired it for the first time. It went well! I have some pieces that I work hot, and usually I am trying to fit as many as I can onto the top shelf of the large kiln, grab them out quickly, close the kiln to keep the others warm, work them before they cool, and not get burned. It is very hard to manage alone. The test kiln worked great. I can only do 1-3 pieces at a time, but it takes an hour and a half to reach temp instead of 4 hours, and is 120 volt, not 240. I actually think I can heat a little faster - I used the most conservative approach. Then finishing the hot work is much easier and safer and clean up of 1-3 items is quick - I can do a few before school or in the evening!

Dh cleaned the kitchen yesterday. Including the coffee maker. Unfortunately the last thing he did was run water through to rinse it. We have an insulated (opaque) carafe. The last thing he SHOULD have done was empty that. I never put the carafe back unless it is empty. So I set up the coffee last night and went to bed, and this morning my day started with mopping up an entire pot of hot coffee. Then I had to dump out the carafe, and make myself coffee. I must be getting better because I didn't cry.

I also have a load of laundry started this morning and tea bread in the oven. I have Bean today. I think we will put the rabbits from Easter away.

Right now I am going to work on a list to try to manage my week and my day. Then do chores before I pick up Bean.
Posted: 16 April 2023 - 09:46 PM
Lila, my heart goes out to you re the mouse. I hope you find him or scare him away. I think mine got scared away by all the commotion I made trying to get a trap placed. You're doing very well tackling the other stuff, sounds like. I'm with SubC in wanting to be sure you don't have the heater or candles where there are combustibles, so good for you addressing that.

SubC, I hope the burnout gets better. It can come on so quickly, and be harder to shake off. I know from experience.

Garage sale is this Friday (I may have said Thursday but that's the setup day), weather has been not much help in preparing, though tomorrow is the one day that might be good and I am poised to take advantage of it. I confess my own motivation and enthusiasm are lacking for this sale, to my chagrin. Besides that, I now realize that it's hard to plan for such a sale over a drawn out period of time and with no staging area for the sale items, save the back of my van (I hate that my nice van has become junky with stuff, and hope to address that at some point and get it back to nice).

However, lowering expectations and thinking well, give it the best shot and then move on. Donation seems to be the best conduit for decluttering given my circumstances. I don't have items that are of much intrinsic value, I don't have the patience to attempt to sell sporadically online things like used books or perhaps a collectible or two. Selling doll clothes online later if I decide to do it, will need to be more structured and with a larger (but not overwhelming) backlog of inventory so that it feels real and I can get into a definite routine with it. Not to mention the need to do additional research into how successful craft sellers manage, how to do mailings, handle any returns, etc.

Took recycling yesterday and that was nice to get rid of it. I have a confession to make - they still had those "how to write a murder mystery" books free for the taking, and this time I took them - but I will read them and move them on. We've been watching the Agatha Christie shows and it's intriguing as another writing genre. Even though I probably wouldn't be good at it because I'm forgetful and plotting is my least favorite writing thing. But I do enjoy stretching my brain nonetheless. And knowing things like how cops do their job, how cases are solved, etc. I don't have the stomach for a lot of gore so if I ever did write one, it'd be a "cozy mystery." There's an entire subgenre of those featuring cats; perhaps I'd do one featuring a bunny, haha!

Well, anyway. Down to earth, plans tomorrow are to go to Mass and then go work at the storage, probably come home for lunch because there are leftovers, change to shorts if it has warmed up, and go back and do the afternoon. And try to sort, neatly box, and maybe price some of the stuff as I go so that on Thursday when we do setup it'll go quicker. On Friday, roommate will go early, because it starts at 8:00 a.m. She'll get things started, while I do some bunny care at the house, and follow as soon as I can. It ends at 3:00 and that may be a bit of a scramble to pack up before the center closes, but we can take our time meandering back.

Saturday I don't know if there'll be time to drop off donations - although I may just be keeping some until my church sale in June. We have another thing going on Saturday afternoon.

After this week, I hope the weeks are not so busy and I can make progress on both decluttering and my neglected creative stuff. Except that the first weekend in May I am going to stay overnights at the bunny shelter house because one of the ladies will be out of town. AFTER THAT, dare I hope for a quieter life of accomplishing goals?! There's so much I want to do and this year has been an improvement over last, but it seems to be taking a long time to build up a steady momentum.
Posted: 15 April 2023 - 05:07 PM
Lila, you are doing great work! I know getting rid of clothes isn't the priority right now, however, I love the plan of trying to reduce by 1/4! When you get there, I'll support you and help you through it.

I am thrilled to say that an outdoor jacket of mine fits! So that means I can get rid of the one I bought before the weight loss. I am keeping NO just-in-case big clothes. No need. I know a woman who will want the jacket, so I'll wash it up for her.

Ran errands with BF all afternoon. We got flowers for my window boxes and went to the hardware store and went grocery shopping including dropping off groceries for mom. A good productive afternoon together.

Now I've started on some laundry because I find it soothing.
Posted: 15 April 2023 - 03:16 PM
Thank you, Tatoulia, those are good insights and I am trying very hard to change my poverty mindset to one trusting in God to provide all I need. There has to be a balance in there between where I am and getting rid of too much. Your sharing makes me think, perhaps I could donate SOME of those clothes. I don't love most of them, they were bought when I was thinner and broke and they were on sale. Most of them were pretty cheap. I do think I will sort through and donate, say 1 of every 4 items, the ones I love the least, when I get to the point I can sort them. Many are in bins in the garage or downstairs. Perhaps if I pull out from under the bed I can donate some of those.

I went back in and found 2 more paper piles. I actually ended up shredded part of the pile and throwing some others away. The rest, into the large bin which is now almost full of papers. Someday in the next 2 months I'll need to actually go through them. Right now I am trying to clear space. I sorted 3 or 4 boxes and bins of random stuff, all covered in dust and dog hair, ugh. I had to dust and vacuum the layers. I donated like 4 or 5 things (I mark a tally on the donate box so I can put it on my Daily Tally later) and threw a few things away.

Sorted all the cords and plugs into a small bin with a lid.
Sorted all the wall-hanging and home-fixing items into another small tub with lid.
Put various random items where they belong.
There is still a small pile on my bed to deal with. And maybe one more box on the floor to sort. This is a LOT of progress and I am proud of myself.

The other half of the room, by the closet, it as bad as ever but there were no mouse sounds over there. I do need to clear a path to my closet though since I am going to church tomorrow.
Posted: 15 April 2023 - 12:18 PM
Hello everyone!

Congratulations on the excellent evaluations, SubC. A great boost!

Lila, keep plugging away. I would love to go to your house and help you for a week! I do understand about your need to feel safe and have things for the future. I still encourage you to reduce as much as possible. At some point, maybe look at the smaller clothes and see if you would actually wear them if they fit. I have very few clothes, just the way I've always been, and if I buy something and I don't feel comfortable in it, I won't wear it again and so I get rid of it. It's a bold stance that I take with my possessions. Im bold and brutal with myself and my things. Sometimes something is unknowingly making me feel bad about myself and so now I get rid of those things, too. If there's a negative association, I don't need it here.

The two areas I really had to work on, emotionally, were 1. I loved that thing and 2. Im saving that for my future self. My years-long quest has brought me to 1. I loved that thing and now it's time for someone else to love it by donating it (or disposing of it because it's no longer a thing someone could love) and 2. Im living now and my need for space is stronger than something my future self might or might not need.

So, maybe at some point take a look at the clothes and decide what you can let go. It sounds like you own a lot of clothes. Maybe some can go away? If not, I understand.
Posted: 15 April 2023 - 11:19 AM
Ah SubC, so interesting about the kiddos! I too work with kids - although that is just a smaller part of my work. I work with high schoolers which I found intimidating at first, but their response to me has been wonderful. I see a difference in their lives and that makes me happy. Like you, a bad comment would crush me. In fact, earlier this year a parent, someone new and strange, complained about my program. I was not present, but the people I trained to run it and the program itself got criticism. Even though it was unfounded and this lady was whacko, it hurt me a lot. I am over it now but at the time I was all "oh what a miserable person I am, I can't do anything right!" I think when you love your kids, everything feels personal.

Making lists is something I need as well. I have a planner and write things down for the week. When it gets to be too much, I use a highlighter to mark the top 3 things I MUST get done today. Then use a different color to mark the next 3 priorities. It helps me focus. I also use the square someone here told me about, with "important" and "urgent" to help me decide what to focus on.

I got a lot done yesterday and at bedtime realized that the reason the floor was so cleared on one side was because a lot of stuff was on my bed, lol. The hoard "fluffed up." But, I did have Son come in with a flashlight and check under all 3 dressers (they have raised legs). There was lots of dust, but no mouse poop and no mouse tracks in the dust. He vacuumed the dust balls and I need to swiffer under them today.

I also moved stuff around enough to get to the third dresser and a plastic set of drawers, and went through the drawers to check for mouse evidence - none! I am quite surprised. Then I did put all the paper piles into that big empty tote. I noticed a few I could shred/toss as I went, so I did that but did not really sort. Now all the papers are in that bin.

All the empty tubs are in the staging area. I have several boxes and totes with no lids with junk thrown in them. I will attempt to sort this stuff into small totes WITH lids in the staging area, to check for mice (unlikely) and to clear up my space so I can vacuum and swiffer. I dread dealing with what's under my bed, but it is loads of dust and sealed totes so not a mouse area.

The final place a mouse could be is in the vent. Son and I could not figure out why I was hearing mouse sounds but there is NO poop or chewed stuff or tracks in the thick dust, and then I noticed the vent in that corner. I'll need to move the dresser over and take the vent cover off and see if anything is in there.

Then I will bring Teen's cat in my room for awhile and see if he "alerts" on any area. Might then put a trap in there just in case.

I hope you all are having a good day.

I updated my Daily Tally and also started posting in the Decluttering your Waistline thread if anyone wants to join me there.
Posted: 15 April 2023 - 06:34 AM
Yay Lila!

Amazing progress! So good to get rid of that nasty box.

Blankets are great to clean up because they are so big - when you have a place to put them away. Part of my issue is that the away is always full.

I am relieved to know that no one is going to accidentally turn on or knock over that space heater and set your room on fire! That is how hoarders die in their hoards. Fire and avalanche.

Be sure the paper in is not too heavy. Are the small bins large enough for papers?

Got a good night's sleep and am a little more rested. I was lying in bed mostly awake this morning and thinking that I didn't want to get up and running through my mental list trying to decide where to start. I think it is so hard for me to tackle anything because the list is just so overwhelming and I can't finish it all in time. (I'm just talking about my daily life, not dehoarding or cleaning my house - that's going to have to go on hold for a while. My in-laws WILL arrive to squalor the last day of school.

I am just going to have to sit here with my coffee, make a list, set some priorities and go.

I generally get good evaluations. I also get a lot of positive comments, but they are usually .is fun, .is a good teacher, .is my favorite class. it means a lot for one of them to share something personal like that. One kid left the whole survey blank except for the additional comments: "(Subclinical) is an awesome teacher. That is all."

I also smiled at the 6 y.o. Who gave me top marks and then used "additional comments" to sign his anonymous survey.

If I ever got bad feedback from my kids, it would break me. I don't really care what my administration thinks of me as long as I don't get fired. I don't care what the parents think of me as long as they aren't emailing me or the administration. The kids are everything.

I lot of my teens work retail or fast food and we were having a conversation one day about the service economy. I told them I am part of the service economy and they asked me who the customers were. I told them, "well, *i* think you're the customer and the product is education. The administration thinks your parents are the customers because they pay the bills, and the state thinks they're the customer and you guys are the product."

Ok, the day isn't getting any longer!
Posted: 14 April 2023 - 08:30 PM
oh, SubC, I almost forgot - what a wonderful evaluation! Don't underestimate the difference you are making in students' lives. Maybe even saving them. Bless you.
Posted: 14 April 2023 - 08:28 PM
SubC thank you. I read your post and went in and did stuff today. I'm sorry you're burned out. I hope you can get rest this weekend.

- Unplugged space heater and moved it to a closet.
- started moving candles and found 2 I decided to donate.
- charged the mini vacuum, and am clearing up dust bunnies as I go
- put the donate bins on my bed and trying to fill and get moved to the car
- put all knives, silverware etc in a plastic tub and found space for it in a wardrobe
- stacked all plates and bowls and found room for them in a wardrobe, until I decide what to do/lock cabinet
- found a box of ex's old junk including leaking batteries and expired meds. Got rid of them.
- put together and nested all the empty tubs and totes and am moving them into the staging area
- folded blankets and put them away
- put many things where they go, threw out trash, donated 5 items

After all that, 1/2 of that space is now cleared for the most part. I can now get to two of the dressers, so I went into every drawer and moved things around looking for mouse evidence. There was none! Not one chewed bit, not one tiny turd. Nothing, which is good, they are not in those dressers. I do need to pull them out and check under them, still.

I still have the other half of the room to do and that is the harder half with all the piles of papers and random items. I forgot to mention a couple of totes full of books that I am keeping as well. I have one big empty tote there that had a comforter in it that I gave to Teen, so maybe my best bet for now is to put all the paper stacks into that tote to deal with later. I just need to find out if there is a mouse.
Posted: 14 April 2023 - 05:11 PM
Lila, I am still cooked.

Apparently I am so cooked that when my friend saw me in the empty hall today my face scared her - she thought something awful had happened. I told her nope, just burned out and I didn't have an audience.

But I got my student evaluations today, and this made me feel a little better:

is good teacher. She listens to me a lot and she is very nice. Being in her class made my self-seteem higher. - I don't know which kid that is, the responses are anonymous, but I think I'll go back next week.?

Here is the best I can do right now - please confirm that the space heater is not plugged in.

Also peanut butter in a mouse trap will probably lure the mouse out.

Take the two boxes of donations somewhere (to donate)

I still think it might be good to put a lock on a kitchen cabinet so you can put dishes in it.

Hang the clock. I don't care if it works - you like it. It's art. It's right 2x a day. You can take it down and fix it later.

Grab a plastic bin, fill it with candles and put it away somewhere - no fire until that room is clean!

How will the files be recovered from the laptops?

Posted: 14 April 2023 - 12:18 PM
post asking for HELP.

I have a bedroom that is long and narrow. The bed sticks out in the middle, so picture this. The half of the room beyond the bed is piled with clutter and I believe there is a mouse on that side of the room. My big project today is to clear it/sort to find where the mouse is. Not sure what I will do when I find out.

So in an area about 10 by 12, I took a photo so I can break it down and figure out what to do. In this area there is the following:

- tall dresser, mostly clothes, photos and documents in top drawers
- tall wider dresser, mostly clothes, top drawer has cameras and accessories
- very wide big dresser, full of clothes, 2 or 3 small drawers with gift cards, documents, photos, other random items, a few tools
- tops of all dressers have stuff on them, photo albums, jewelry boxes, trinkets, candles
- small rocking chair made of white leather that was mine as a child. Want for grandkids, cant leave in living room due to pets
- nightstand full of greeting cards, stationery, old coins, random items

On the floor:
- old broken clock from my childhood, want to fix and hang
- photo frames, lots, want to frame photos and hang when Teen moves out
- wooden box of my childhood photos, need to scan for my kids
- big jewelry armoire that is new, needs to be hung on a wall so I can put jewelry in it
- large plastic dog kennel that I put the dog in when company comes if he is barking
- paper shredder, file box with files in it, space heater
- 3 boxes for donations, some stuff in 2 of them
- LOTS of small plastic bins, mostly empty, for organizing and storage
- bins of photos (many). They are the only copies, pics of my kids, need to scan and make photo books for them
- big box of CDs that Teen threw off a shelf, cases broken, all mixed up, they are not replaceable (burned) and need to be sorted and stored somewhere
- several boxes and bins of breakable dishes, kitchen bowl, knives etc that have to be kept away from Teen, but I get them from my locked room as needed
- 2 laptops that are dead and need files recovered from them
- boxes of cords to various things, cables
- stacks of papers that I need (medical, work, etc)
- stacks of bowls, plates, mugs that have to be kept from Teen but we go in and get them as needed
- boxes of random items I have sorted many times. Things I think I may need, mainly.

Okay so most of this stuff is piled at least as high as my knees, some as high as my hips. In this area of the bedroom you can see approx 20% of the floor, which is a path to get near the dressers and windows, to the dog kennel.

Please help me, I go in there and stand there and get so overwhelmed and leave doing nothing! I can't even get to the dressers or open the drawers to put clothes away! Anything you have to share, encourage, suggest I will be very grateful for.
Posted: 14 April 2023 - 11:45 AM
post 2 today -

SubC - I hope you are not still feeling beaten down. I saw my other little tots on my trip. I have 4 of them. They may come visit me this summer so there goes the staging area. Well actually I can use it for a little while, to get things cleared out for their visit.

Tatoulia - you are a great example to us! You're still getting things gone!

CM - I too am going to start exercising. I can basically walk or use my recumbent machine. I need to do both, really. Did you start swimming yet? Your weather seems rather wild! I like stability and the weather here is weird too. But nice enough to walk today.

Lauren, hello! I am a mom in my 50s who had a hoarder husband who left last year. I myself have hoarded a lot due to fear of poverty. I am digging my way out but it is hard. I don't know what anyone else here would tell you, but I will say this board is the ONLY resource I have for help, and that is for moral support of these few friends who understand. A place to support each other, vent, encourage, celebrate when we clear an area or donate something. In my experience, there is no other help. Nothing. No resources to help with the hoard. It is overwhelming. What I would wish for is for a free dumpster for a week and a free trailer parked in my driveway for a week so I could clear out. But, if they wanted to use my name or advertise there is no way. I am so embarrassed and humiliated that the only way I could accept help is if I could stay anonymous. My dream scenario is if someone came and offered me $5k to donate/toss at least half my stuff, I could do it. Then I would have enough to replace anything I might truly need down the road. Being broke and in poverty, not on welfare, working part time, is the mental game. If I donate that box of new plates, I won't be able to afford them later if I need plates because mine all break. If I donate 6 bins of too-small clothes, I wont have anything to wear when I lose weight. That kind of thing.

I took the bathroom trash out, tosses 2 empty boxes, and am going to get the clothes out of the dryer now and put them away.
Posted: 14 April 2023 - 10:53 AM
hello SubC, Tatoulia, CM... and Road, are you here?

I am back from my 2 week trip. Ready to start working on the hoard again. I am so tired, but need to fix this now more than ever. My health is in the toilet, and my emotional well being is at stake, as well as relationships with my family.

I will be catching up on your posts today as I stay home and recoup from the 3 hour time change.

Very tired, but so far today I have:
- loaded the dishwasher
- made coffee and toast and had that
- did some reading
- looked up recipe

Yesterday I put in a load of laundry, which is in the dryer now. Also "cleaned" out the fridge (I use that term loosely, as I actually just went through it and threw out anything past its prime and wiped out one veggie bin where something made a mess.

I think there is a mouse in my bedroom and I am sad and upset about it. I thought I heard it last month and tried to move stuff around to locate it but saw no evidence of a mouse. But I heard it last night. I will have to basically empty one entire side of my hoarded up bedroom to locate it (and then what??) because I can't handle listening to it at night and wondering what it is ruining. Wish me luck.

I hope people will be posting today. I'll come back for accountability.
Lauren Leibman
Posted: 13 April 2023 - 11:33 AM

I just requested to follow you on Instagram. Looking forward to chatting with you!
Posted: 12 April 2023 - 04:14 PM
Yes, SubC, letting go of the items that went with a dream is hard. At least sometimes. Once in awhile I will have fallen out of love with a particular dream and that makes it easier.

Talked to the lady at church today. She is 88, looks younger. She said it would probably be more like 3-4 years. But I still should not make any new quilts for them.

There are some other charities in town that I could make quilt tops for, but I am undecided because of the thing about space to sew a quilt together where I live. I had been going to just make sets of blocks for the church and someone else could assemble them into a quilt (we've been doing queen size). I don't know if such an arrangement would be possible elsewhere.

And honestly I'm really feeling that surprising sense of potential relief, like I might be inclined to put quilts on the back burner and do more with other creative things. The only drawback, if the quilt bingo really goes away, is that it was the biggest way I could make a real contribution to the parish, financially strapped as I am. But, it's too soon to try and predict about all that.

Today the wind is still a bit much, and will be for the rest of the week, but after that it is supposed to improve, fingers crossed. Early next week I can hit it hard with the storage unit. If I plan ahead, I can be efficient.

The gym might be the thing in the meantime. SubC, the driving is 3/4 of the battle, so if I can get my butt there, I really will go for it! Lol! Maybe tomorrow or Friday. You know that if I do, I'll have earned bragging rights, so stay tuned. ;)
Posted: 12 April 2023 - 04:26 AM
CM, I am also sorry about your quilt club.

Drive the circle. Don't make yourself actually go to the gym if you don't want to when you get there, jus5 start driving the circle to get used to it.

I think we are all at the stage of "I will never do xyz." The fact that it is hard to accept is part of what makes it hard to get rid of the things that go with xyz.

Yesterday I pretty much kept up with my life. No real progress was made. To do list remained static. (One new thing added and done) recycling went out, mail left on couch.

Today my expectations are teach and go to my class.
Posted: 11 April 2023 - 04:24 PM
I don't feel the sadness, which is lucky. I feel that I'm happy with where I live and how I live. I grew up in beautiful homes and if I wanted to, I could again. I just can't do it in the city. So I look at it in terms of refining my goals and refining my dreams.

You will miss the quilt club but as you noted, this could end up being an opportunity for you! Focus in a different direction or find new people to quilt with. Keep your chin up. Opportunities abound.
Posted: 11 April 2023 - 03:30 PM
Tatoulia, yeah, that sadness about knowing I'll never have the roomy dream house, unless I win the lottery. Right now if I just can get my ducks lined up to be able to be self sufficient again... I hope I can. I know decluttering is essential to that.

SubC, the gym is actually on a loop sort of, e.g., if I go to Mass and then turn left out of the church and head west, go right at the next big intersection and back north, right again at the next light, I'm there. Then when finished, go right again and back east toward the route home. This is a good thing to ponder, how easy it actually is. And I did get my bag and clothes ready. I'm getting closer!

Well, as far as today goes, I thought it wasn't too windy when I got home at lunchtime, thought maybe I would go to the storage unit. But by the time I ate, it had gotten windier. And the afternoon is getting on. So I'm not sure. It may not get much windier this week though, so whether today or tomorrow depending on the direction it blows, I may still be able to get some done there. The other storage buildings may shelter enough if the wind is not ridiculous.

There are some things that are up in the air - the biggest being that I went to quilting this morning and learned they are possibly going to only do the quilt bingo for two more years. Because some of the ladies are getting older, and some other factors with the ones who do the food. I wonder if we could still get some of the younger people to keep it going. I need to ask this one lady I sit by at Mass. She would be able to tell me more.

If they do decide to stop, they already have plenty of quilts to finish for the two years. That means I would have no ready outlet for the ones I had thought I'd be making for them. I could maybe find another local charity - or I could put quilting on hold, pull some selected fabrics for doll clothes sewing and concentrate on that, and donate the remainder of my calico stash somewhere. I'm seriously considering that. I have soooo many special interests and crafts. Maybe God is telling me something.

We'll see.
Posted: 11 April 2023 - 01:28 PM
Lauren, Please follow me on IG, Susie.7010 and once I accept your request, I will send you an IM with details. Could you make that work? Thx.
Lauren Leibman
Posted: 11 April 2023 - 09:45 AM

I would love to speak with you if you're willing! How/when could I reach you over the phone? And thank you for the recommendation about Cory Chalmers, I left him a voice mail.

Posted: 11 April 2023 - 05:02 AM
CM, I am glad you are still getting to Mass! Is the drive from Mass to the gym longer or shorter than driving home?

I agree with Tatoulia that it is good you are finding easier things. And I'm very happy one of roommates things is gone from your room!

I'm sorry your storage unit is depressing.

Tatoulia, it's hard when we feel like we could solve our friend's problems, but that's why they have those problems and we don't. everybody has their own daemons to wrestle.

I had a good day with Bean yesterday. We built a cave out of couch cushions and pretended to be bears. He liked his Easter basket. I went overboard again, but not too far. I gave him a chocolate rabbit, candy in eggs, a bag of s'mores goldfish, and three of the little animals. Two animals and no goldfish would have made him just as happy. I sent it all home with him.

We met his daddy at the library, but we didn't go in because he skipped his nap and fell asleep in the car on the way there, so I just sat in the lot with the windows down. After they left, I went in the library, and it was hard for me to leave. The library is quiet and clean and orderly and full of books and chairs and tables that have nothing on them. I checked out a variety of 5 books that I hope will help me reset my life a little and I eventually came home.

Back to school today.
Posted: 10 April 2023 - 07:55 PM
I'm grateful that you have easier things, CM. I bet at one point those things were hard. Keep at it! I believe in you!

For me, it was hard to give up the idea that I wouldn't live in a bigger house. It was also upsetting to get rid of things since I moved so much as a child. Anything from my childhood was enormously important to keep. I felt that my mental health (such that it is) was dependent on the stuff.

Inside my house was the multiples of same items, in case someone needed stuff. Now that seems so silly to me. I'd buy things at a good price in case someday some unknown person would need it and I could swoop in like a hero and say, here it is, what you needed. In fact, take two.

Keep up the good work, CM. You are smart to think of what you might need in future senior housing.

Goodnight all.
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