Went to a different tire place because my usual guy was closed. He does that, that's the only bad thing - sometimes goes on vacation or something. I hate making phone calls so I didn't think to call ahead.

At this other place, the guy was kind of brusque, but he did discover what has been the problem all along - there was a file in it somehow, guess I drove over it, who knows, and two holes - well, now I know. All seemed well. I paid and was ready to drive out of their parking lot WHEN...

I discovered he had rolled the driver's side window all the way down. It has an issue with the motor, but is fine if you don't roll it all the way down. I was so upset, and he got upset with me (how to explain to neurotypicals - esp. males - that I can be upset at my LIFE and how it keeps having these stupid costly glitches, and the anxiety and financial implications of same, rather than at the person - but I can understand he probably did think I was aiming it at him). Anyway he was about to kick me off the premises and then I managed to convince him that I was doing my best to calm down so then he fixed the stupid window and I paid him an additional 85 bucks to do it but it's done. I was crying by then.

I am so sick, sick, sick of paying the tax of being a single poor woman with no husband or brothers to help, who can't get things fixed like a window motor replaced or a tire looked at before it becomes an emergency and everything ends up in a big fat drama and upset. And then it ends up costing me money and stress at unexpected times - and still I have to try and save money for the bigger repair that can't get done the way it can for people who make a decent income and can just schedule these things on an as-needed basis.

Rant over. I'm tired.

But roommate and I came over to the bunny house and that has actually been a productive and quiet and enjoyable thing, working on a brochure, which was another thing on my to-do list anyway, so at least it will get done. My plans to do my medicaid form this afternoon, well, they got postponed. I was too brain fried to do government paperwork anyway, and would've probably just taken a nap had they not asked if I wanted to accompany roommate while she did some spreadsheets for them and I thought why not.

We need to head back to the house now so I'll close here. Hope no further drama re my vehicle.

I don't think the van window thing is right even yet. Stopped at the grocery store and it was stiffer and made a creaky noise. I'm going to be super babying it and hoping at some point I can just afford to get the motor replaced.

It's hard when I don't know which car place to trust anymore. Maybe I can think of someone to ask who they go to; it's harder than it used to be to do that. I know fewer people. And since I have to be so careful about expenses, I don't like to let on to people about how this is not a straightforward thing of just call someone and take it in the next day. There's all this strategy involved.

Good morning!

Tatoulia, you have so much going on! It's ok if some days you don't make your bed. (I only make mine when I change the sheets or want to use it as a surface)

CM, I am sorry about your van.

Here is my viewpoint, which I am very sure is informed by neurodiversity in this case, but it works. People should not be embarrassed about being poor unless they are poor because they did something really stupid - like betting their life savings in a casino. The system is designed to keep you poor.

Also, people can see your van. Pretending your van is fine is like me pretending I am skinny. People can see me. I never lie about my weight.

So, you are a person with a high maintenance van who wants to keep it running as cheaply as possible - sounds smart! Tell people "hey, this is going on with my window. It's not my top priority right now, but it's becoming annoying. Do you know anybody good who doesn't charge an arm and a leg? Because obviously, there's a limit to how much money I want to throw at this thing."

I wish my Dh could fix your van. Although actually, when my windows died he just said "you need to start saving for a new car." One of my requirements for my "new" car was that it have ac or windows that rolled down. Either one, as my current car had neither. I would literally have to stop in shady locations and open all the doors. Some days I couldn't drive it.

I am going to skip my class tonight. I don't have pots ready, I have this yucky cold, I'm tired, my house is still a mess, and I have 47 more evaluations to write.

Ds and ddil took some baby stuff home from the basement.

Cm, I am so sorry that happened. An extra $85 is nothing to sneeze at. You did your best. I love SubC's advice about how to handle car repairs and how to get things to "good enough." I could feel the sadness and the frustration and then to have someone mouth off to you. And then you end up being the person apologizing just to get it done. I am so sorry. You made it through.

SubC, yes skip the class. Sometimes skipping something is a very good thing.

Thank you for the support. I am letting things slip around here. Just did yesterday's dishes, that sort of thing. I have not made my bed because my cleaners are coming over, which means clean sheets for me!

I have jury duty tomorrow, which is fine, except it is in a court that is not in Boston proper but still in our county. So I have to go by subway and then bus and between the two this will take me a lot if time tomorrow.

I am being good to myself. I bought fudgsicles last night because I deserve them. I had one and it was tasty.

Aw, SubC, that's sweet of you to virtually offer your hubby to fix my van. The further development today is that I had been tentatively trying to roll the window down just a little way - I knew to go 1/3 to 1/2 down or further would be inviting disaster. Well, it was only down a half inch or less and it was stuck again. I had been thinking about the guy with the tire place, whether he could do another repair, namely to fix the little pump that squirts windshield washer fluid. It's been a nuisance having to splash the stuff on with a cup or using a spray bottle then hurry and run the wipers. And I got to thinking, ask him if he could do the window roller upper motor.

So today he was open, and yes, he can do it. It is not going to be cheap but it needs to be done, and then hopefully it'll last and I'll have peace of mind. I'll work it into the budget somehow.

I confess I am responsible for some of my bad situation due to bad choices made in my youth - especially credit cards. If I knew then what I know now and so on and so forth... but I'm also looking at that good old neurodivergence thing and in some cases I wonder what I could've done much differently in terms of being able to keep jobs - if I'd had more stability and a life coach or someone to make budgeting less of a confusing chore, and if I'd had someone to explain to me how impulse spending was being fed by dopamine cravings.

Ah well, hindsight is indeed 20/20. There were other things that were all snarled up in my younger years and they are too embarrassing to recount, so I'll just leave that alone. I'm trying, belatedly, to figure out how to make a lot of things work. Meanwhile, the world has changed so much, too. The straightforward clerk typist jobs that once I was too restless to want, now I could really go for one of those, for instance. But computers changed that - and people wanted administrative assistants who can "multitask in a fast-paced environment without showing signs of stress" - I've literally read job listings stating that sort of requirement. And there are some jobs and corporate cultures which my moral beliefs will not permit me to consider; I'm not going to open that can of worms too far but it's a thing.

But, I haven't really gotten started looking - I'm not quite to the point chronologically where I think it's time - maybe in a year or so. Right now I just am trying to make good decisions on spending, and to keep track of the figures even as I wish those figures could have at least one more decimal place, perhaps more, on them.

The practicalities of getting the van repair done will have to be worked in around a couple of things - my payday is Friday so it'd be better to do it after that, but next week is supposed to be the run-up to the church garage sale. I've just decided it's in the Lord's hands. If it doesn't interfere with getting stuff to the church sale, bueno. If I can only get what I've got now and not a whole lot more, well, then I'll just have to donate future stuff elsewhere, and it'll still benefit someone somewhere. So there we have it. Poco a Poco again!

P.S.

I meant to add regarding the van window that I was able to shove it up closed with my hands, so that's a relief. I'm not sure if we're due for any rain before it'd get fixed, but it's just good to know it is closed completely. I'm going to go out and put a piece of tape over the switch to remind myself not to try and use it.

... argh having trouble with Captcha again, it's like a video game where you have to click and it keeps adding more! Stupid thing!

I am angry about the $85 dollar guy. I want to go back with you and tell him "look, you charged $85 to fix this window and it is not fixed. I realize you didn't break it, but you did roll it down. The position of the window has nothing to do with the tire, so basically you charged $85 to put part of the car unrelated to the job back where it was when it was left with you. Obviously this is not the kind of relationship where you should be messing with this car, so just return the $85 and we'll call it done."

Then if he says "no." I say "I don't think you meant that, because I'm sure you'd rather be known as kind and reasonable than for taking advantage of older women with little means and doing shoddy work."

Then we either leave with your $85 or we start with the BBB and move on to the bunny club, the church, the senior center, yelp, Angie, social media, anyone else you know, and possibly the local news sources. I'm like that. I cut my teeth on security deposits in college.

I think you should try to schedule the window fix for after the church sale. Set the money aside.

Also, credit cards work really hard to help people get themselves into trouble. They have very smart people working against you.

29 evaluations to go.

The 85 guy needs to fix this for you. But I understand if you cannot go back. It's just so much money.

I'm going to head up to see mom now.

My stomach is finally better. I suffered Monday and Tuesday.

I do not want to go to jury duty tmr solely because of the great inconvenience to get to the courthouse. I am not happy but I refuse to pay for what will prove to be a very expensive cab ride.

Quiet Memorial Day around here. Haven't gone out much except yesterday, and briefly today, because I shouldn't drive my van much. Here's why:

On Friday I think it was, I'd stopped at this car wash place where they have free air for tires. I have one tire on my van that has had a strange slow leak that I couldn't find - and sometimes it leaked and sometimes it didn't. So anyway, the guy there said he could fix it for $10. And I thought he did. Saturday I took roommate and my former roommate to the plant nurseries some miles away and back. But then in the evening, the tire was obviously going down. So we took it to air. I was frustrated, because I'd felt so relieved thinking it has been resolved; I'd envisioned a nice drive to church yesterday for Pentecost, and so on. I was thinking about the hassle of calling for roadside assistance, how I'd get to church, etc. Things were in a muddle.

But it worked out reasonably okay in the end - roommate offered to drive and come to church with me and then we ran some of her errands. The tire didn't go flat flat, so I've just been keeping an eye on it. Roommate followed me to put air in it at the Quik Trip again this morning, so fingers crossed I'll be able to take it to the tire guy tomorrow morning - the one I've done business with before and who seems competent. It will cost another $25, but that's okay. I should've done this before. The guy at the car wash did at least find the place where it was leaking - it was on the inside, by the rim, was why I couldn't find it. There were bubbles when he put water on it. And he marked it with a white grease pencil so I will be able to point it out right away to my regular guy.

I've been doing little things like starting to clear off the dining table of my stuff, a task I've been procrastinating on. Roommate has a few things on it too but it shouldn't take her long to get hers either and then we will have the table clear and we will try to be good and not let it accumulate stuff again.

Other places in the house that are flat surface "hotspots" will be targeted next. And various other messes in my universe. The church garage sale dropoff times will be next Sunday through Wednesday. The weather this week may be rainy at times but looks like I'll be able to work around it. I don't feel as organized and cohesive as ideally I'd like to about this sale prep, but surely there's enough of an idea of what I want to accomplish to get started and hopefully a momentum will ensue and spark further ideas.

I know my cousin was over to my grandma's house the other day because she texted me pictures; I don't know if she stayed over there or has gone back and forth or what. The house is in another town, and I'm not sure in what shape (I've no funds for repairs or upgrades), and the neighborhood it's in is in decline. So it would be unlikely that I'd be trying to swing a deal to live there. Just uprooting from this town would be hard due to my agoraphobia; I'd probably have a ton of anxiety if I were far from the familiar. Besides, with the one cousin now living here, and my friends being here, this is probably the best for me unless something drastically changes.

It'll be nice to have my wheels back tomorrow, for sure.

CM, I didn't realize the house was so far away.

I'm sorry about your tire.

And Lila, I am worried about your dog.

Apparently one of my little darlings also gave me a cold asan end of the year gift. Bean and family went home. Ds and ddil are here until tomorrow morn8ng.

I just want to sleep.

Sorry about your cold, SubC. I'm worried about the doggy, Lila. Cm I hope the tire works out okay tmr. I'm glad your roommate went to church with you. It sounds like staying put will be the best bet for you as moving to another town doesn't make sense. And as you noted, who knows what state the house is in.

We had a fun time at our friend's house. Their cat is at the end of his life. The cat and I have been friends for many, many years. And this was the last time they'll see my bf before he leaves. So I was pretty tearful on the way home. Plus my mother's doctor called while I was there and there are some conversations around that going on.

We then saw mom who was in great spirits! Then we visited her cat. I came home and took the garbage and recycling out.

I'm still hungry. But I don't even have bread so I can't make a piece of toast.

So off to bed for me.

4 loads of laundry done!

Hi everyone!

I'm definitely slipping. Have not made my bed. But I did four loads of laundry yesterday. Two loads of delicates, my blanket, and my sheets.

My mind feels full. Mom's cat was great today. I'll go see mom in a little while. Have not heard from the doctor so not sure what her status is. Received permission to work from home this week.

Tatoulia, that is all good what you did for your mom. It will be nicer for her with that stuff gone.

I had time with Tot today and we are also have a bbq at our house tomorrow. I enjoyed having her. I want to do this more frequently.

I worked this morning and have a social group thing tonight so am just chilling in the meantime. I would really like a nice thick piece of cake, but I'm not buying it and am too lazy to make it. So maybe I will lose some weight this week.

I am a little upset about something dumb I did. I am part of a neighborhood group that you can give things away or ask for items you need, and I have given things and also gotten some very nice things. I asked for a baby item for my upcoming grandchild and someone said she had one to give me. I was pretty excited and she said she would put it out for me but her kids were sleeping. When I got there it was so dirty, omg. Covered in dust and cobwebs, but I thought, well, Son and I can hose it off outside and it might be really nice. Then I went to stick it in my car and it was so heavy, way heavier than I would have imagined, I also hurt myself and could barely get it into the car. As I am loading it I am thinking "this is never going to work, it is way too heavy, it is filthy..." but here I am in someone's driveway with it halfway in my car. I thought about pulling it back out and leaving it but thought it would be rude so I took it. It is in my car and I am so irritated. I will have Son pull it out and see if it is even in decent enough shape to give to someone else or if it is trash. I should never have taken it!! Ugh.

Lila, I don't see where you did anything dumb. You didn't have much of a choice other than to take it. Hose it off and if not usable, then get rid of it. No one need be the wiser.

Mom was pretty good when we saw her. She was sitting in a chair and her very tasty dinner had just arrived. A beautiful piece of lasagna and fresh, perfectly cooked green beans. She ate a good portion of her meal. She insisting on leaving the hospital and at some points she's not even sure where she is.

Bf and I just got home. We saw mo,, then went to the cemetery, then grabbed a bite to eat, then fed mom's cat.

I'm too tired to do laundry. I'm going to bed.

Goodnight, dear friends.

Good morning.

To be clear, the party was me, the English teacher who is leaving, and our mutual favorite ever student (18 and graduated). We told all the stories we couldn't tell when we were on "opposite teams" and we laughed so hard!

My in-laws left yesterday morning. Mil took a bunch of recycling with her that she can recycle but I can't. They didn't bring us anything, so net out.

My end of year gifts were a Tshirt, a plant, a bag of homemade fire starter cones, a half pint jar of sugar scrub, two gift cards, a bottle of wine, and a painted rock magnet. The other teacher and I drank the wine Friday before I came home.

CM,
I'm sorry about your family house. It sounds like you and roommate are making progress though! Is the house a place you could potentially live and pay rent to your cousins?

Lila, you are doing well. Don't worry about a little set back, just try not to let it linger.

Tatoulia, it was good that you got so much done at your mom's place. It sounds like she's doing well given the situation.

Ddil is pregnant! We are all both excited and nervous because Dd lost the baby in December.

The girls went yard sailing and I did not go with them. They bought baby things and house things and a pair of new in the packaging goat socks for me.

I have done 1/4 of my evaluations. To stay on track I should do 10-12 more today, but I might skip them and just enjoy my people. Then I will have to do at least 13 on the other days. The only day that might be hard is Wednesday.

The party sounds even better! The people you wanted to be with!

Happy to hear about the new sprout!

I felt access to the washer this AM! Very haooy about that!

Just up, making my coffee. I'm back to coffee. Taste so good.

Have a cookout at a friend's house today. Looking forward to it. Just their family and BF and me. Perfect.

Need to work in time to see mom.

Congrats on the pregnant ddil, SubC! How exciting! Grandkids are so fun! Tatoulia, I am glad your mom is doing ok.

I worked yesterday and went to a social and came home late and it made me sooo tired. People wipe me out, even though I like them and want to go.

Today I have off and we are having a family bbq at my house. Tot's dad will do the grilling. I need to do a bit of prep/cooking. I also need to re-clear the table, which will only take under 5 minutes.

Today I sorted some VHS tapes and donated 6 of them and had Son take the box to my car. He also took the filthy stroller out of my car and unfolded it outside. It is actually pretty nice. But extremely heavy to me. I think if we wash it, it will work for me to walk the babies to the park. But not really to take places. I will have to find a lightweight type for that.

I am unloading the dishwasher and going to wipe down the kitchen so I can prep and cook. I am making the cucumber salad that I did not get around to yesterday. And another recipe.

I also used a gift card to order a few food items for the bbq. I think we are pretty done with the no-buying thing, but we certainly have bought less groceries and used more of what we have and will keep that up.

My younger dog is injured. I took him to the vet, paid $350 and it is not resolved. May need to take him back tomorrow. $350 is a whole week's pay for me so I am not thrilled, especially since it did not get resolved, but I am not really worried about $$ because I believe God will provide what I need.

I think as long as you take that motivation and try to start (rather than ignoring it) you'll get there. Keep trying. Put on some music. Pour a cold glass of water. Roll up your sleeves. And never stop trying.

Just been busy, read posts. Prayers for your mom Tatoulia and for Lila and for Teen, for peace and calm.

We had some accomplishments this week. The people from the habitat for humanity resale place came and got roommate's surplus lumber from projects that are either done or unlikely to get done. Not only did it free up physical space in the garage, I know it gave her closure and hope. It will also make it easier for further decluttering of the garage to occur. Though it's not my garage, I am happy to help and it feels good.

We also put battered lawn and garden items by the curb. Some things got picked up by whoever, some went with the trash. I know now not to buy those molded plastic chairs. They rot in the sun and end up all brittle and scabby and then are good for nothing and finish up in the landfill. Roommate has purchased nicer outdoor furniture - not the ritzy fancy stuff that costs hundreds of dollars, but better constructed pieces than the plastic junk. I have been doing my duty testing them out, especially of an evening when the temperature is nice and the birds are singing like crazy.

The weather is better here, I hope to do some in my storage, I still have to get that medical assistance form done (bleah, but necessary) and I did give it a preliminary once over so I know what information I'm going to need to dig out.

My cousin who moved to town has also been cleaning out my grandma's house. Grandma died in the 80s, and the two youngest aunts who never married lived there until they went into the nursing home a few years back. They had hoarded, my cousin described basically goat paths. I knew it had been getting worse and that they hadn't wanted people to visit anymore. Of course since I didn't drive on the highway I couldn't go over there on my own. They probably would've just insisted on meeting elsewhere anyway.

There is a lot connected with this whole business - triggers of my own situations, the fact that along with cousins I'm one of the heirs when the house is sold eventually although it won't fetch much, the memories of when my grandma was still alive and the clan would gather, the changes, deaths, divorces, drifting apart, being isolated in a different city from those relatives and the ones on the other side as well in another town in the opposite direction. So I'm feeling all the feels and trying to stay steady and be grateful for the present. I'm thankful for the new connection with my cousin. She is the surviving sibling of an original four. And I'm an only child and we are close in age. I'd love it if we could be sort of like sisters. But I don't want to rush anything, and I know she is busy, has a husband and kids and grandkids and wants to find a job here. But she reached out to me, so that may bode well.

Basically, my immediate goals are: Get medicaid form completed and faxed asap, and prepare for church garage sale with all that entails, hopefully maximizing the outflow from my storage and perhaps here at the house, just anyplace I find stuff that I can part with. It was in the church bulletin that a week from tomorrow I think it is, there will be designated times for dropping off donations, which will allow me to empty my van and be able to get additional loads, rinse and repeat.

CM that sounds sad about your grandma's house. I am always desperate to latch on to anything that makes me feel like I have a family, being also an only child and everyone is dead. So I would clutter up my house if I was in your situation. I hope you are able to not inherit a lot of junk. Maybe it would be nice to have an item or two that is special. I wonder sometimes if any of my kids will want any of my stuff. Probably not.

I have today off so slept in, cooked eggs and toast, made coffee and read on the deck. It is nice and relaxing.

However I spent most of yesterday relaxing, and I need to actually get some things done - cleaning and decluttering. My doctor had said I need to lose weight and gave me a prescription. I have been taking a half pill but this morning I decided to take a whole one. It is supposed to help with energy. I took it ten minutes ago and am waiting for the energy. Even if it just gives me a slight boost, it will get me moving and I can get something done.

I know it is lame that I have to rely on a pill, or caffeine, etc, to get me off the couch, but it is what it is. I am so sluggish I would easily sit on the couch for days, watching tv, surfing the web. I know that is partly a result of being 70ish pounds overweight, and partly from never exercising. A body at rest tends to stay at rest. I am hopeful these pills will help me start to move more, and lose weight, and it will snowball into better energy overall.

I'll let you know how that goes.

post 2 for accountability.

I was thinking about what might give me energy that is not unhealthy, and decided to make a green smoothie. This is also good because I have a lot of produce in the fridge and freezer that needs to be eaten.

I am now sipping a smoothie made with a frozen banana, frozen mango, a few frozen cranberries, a squeeze of fresh lemon, 2 T chia seeds, water, and several big handfuls of fresh spinach. Blended it up and it made a huge smoothie, maybe 20 oz. If I don't drink it all, I will save the rest in the fridge for later this afternoon. This is basically my lunch.

I also sorted the other bags of greens and put paper towels in with them so they stay fresh longer. I threw out a very small cabbage that was getting moldy looking, but saved a nice fresh large cabbage. I saw some cucumbers in there that need to be used so looked up a recipe for cucumber salad. I usually make it with sour cream but we don't have any due to our Pantry challenge, so I am going to make it with vinegar, red onion, a little sugar, dried dill, salt and pepper.

I am feeling just the slightest bit more energized and decided that the bedroom is just too much right now, so my goal today will be to clean off the dining room table which is piled up. If I get that done, I may also work on the counter/bar that is even worse, and dusty.

I actually lost a large box of coffee pods last time I cleaned off the table. I have no idea where I put them, and Son really would like to have them. So maybe I can look around and find those for him as well. That would be, for me, a successful day.

I also have holes in my shoes now. I need to look in my closet and see if I have a pair of Brooks. You know I donated a bunch, but not Brooks, just ones that were kind of brightly colored and not really suitable for work. I wear black or dark grey Brooks most of the time as I am prone to tendonitis until I lose this weight.

What are you all doing?

post 3, hmmm, lonely around here today.

When Teen saw my smoothie they asked me to make them one. So that is great! I made them a nice, healthy smoothie and used up more produce. Good nutrition for them!

I have one WIN for today: I got the table cleared off. There is still a crock pot on it because I am trying to find a place for it. I did wipe off the table with paper towels and water, but need to wash it down better. Then that is done.

No sign of the missing coffee pods anywhere.

I baked some pasta with broccoli. I started just a little on the counter/bar. Son did not get out of bed til late afternoon so I did not have help to do other things.

I did put the clean dishes away and hand washed a few things. Watched TV a bit. Watched a documentary.

As I went in my room and looked at stuff the main question I have is:
How do you decide what to get rid of?
Going by whether I used it in the past year does not work for me. Many things I see as essential, or things I am attached to, I do not use much.
Going by whether it bring me joy does not work for practical things. Although, if something makes me sad, I can let that go.

I did decide to return all the books that people have loaned to me to read except for 2. Some of them I have had for a year or two. The sit in piles and mock me for not reading them. People mean well and bring me books and tell me how much I will enjoy them or they will help me in my job. But I don't read them. I must have a good dozen books that are not mine. A few I am not even sure whose they are! So, the ones I do know, I will start returning this week. It just feels weird to have someone's book for 6 months or a year and return it and say you never read it.

Hello everyone! I'm glad your cousin is close by, CM. Just keep feeling the feels. It's okay to feel wistful and it can be very soothing to think of simpler times and places.

You are doing good work, too, Lila. I confess I didn't do anything today. I went to mom's to feed the kitty (went twice) and BF and I visited mom in the hospital. She is very upset with me. Just the dementia talking. She's in for at least another day. I think we are close to her batteries running out. Dr called me to discuss a few things including whether w3 have a Do Not Resuscitate order (we do).

So there we have it. I mainly slept today. Just hung out and slept.

Tmr I'll do laundry and other stuff.

Happy Sunday! Warm day here in Boston.

I went to mom's to feed the kitty and I filled a 30 gallon trash bin. Clothes, old comforter, stuff. Stiff that no one needs. The beautiful cotton dress I gave her was all poopy so I threw it out. I threw out a bathrobe that had gotten tangled in her wheelchair and so they used scissors to cut it. Stuff like that. The cat was glad that I was hanging out and puttering. She'll never breathe a word. Mom accuses me of stealing from her so I might as well take care of some stuff for her. I question what the next steps are for her. She's so angry with me. Not sure who my BF is but tells him he's great.

I wanted to do her laundry but the washers were full. Would like to do some of my own but our washer is full, too.

I've showered and I'm going to relax now. We will visit mom later.

Thank you Tatoulia. Your words are a comfort. Being heard, and not 100% alone, is a comfort. I threw out the brokens and feel somewhat better. A few items were not broken, or just small chips. I put those into a box that I need to find space for in my room. You see how my locked room is a storage unit, and anything outside of it is subject to destruction. I hope this changes.

I did not cry, but just resigned myself to the fact. And, told myself, things are just things. It is God and family that matters.

I am getting things done while relaxing. I gave away some extra produce I had so that it does not all go bad before I can use it. And I am going to use some produce to make a recipe for lunch today, too.

I loaded the dishwasher and it is running.
I went through my emails in my personal account, over 250 of them. My goals was to get down to 150 and I did get under that goal. I have a few I need to do things about or respond to and will do that. But the work ones I will do next week.

Enjoying the quiet, the windows being open, the tv on some of the time, coffee, and time with the dogs.

I will keep working on my room and donating more things.

Good last day of school.

Best after party ever.

Everyone went to bed an hour after I got home. I spent part of that hour doing chores.

Dishwasher running

Off to bed myself. More eventually.

Congratulations on finishing the school year with a great party, SubC!

We went to the museum of fine arts tonight to see the Hokusai exhibit. BF, Emiko and me. Emiko brought us each a beautiful framed picture of BF in front of the business he sold. I was so touched (she had come by here before we left for the museum) and I couldn't believe my lovely gift. He opened his present later in the evening and was similarly touched. He was unaware that she had even taken the picture. It is a gift that will help me once he leaves.

Mom fell and is in the hospital. The poor thing. I assume she is okay; I have not heard from the hospital despite leaving a message for the dr. I'll try again in the AM. Emiko and I went to mom's tonight to feed her cat. I left the kitty an extra plate of food and I'll get up early tmr to feed her.

Lila, you are strong. I'm sure it gets tiring being so strong. I'm right here, shoring you up.

Cm. Sending you love.

So glad you had a great party, SubC.

Tatoulia, what a nice friend. A very thoughtful gift. Also I hope your mom is okay.

Thank you for shoring me up, too. I like being able to come here and visit, no judgement. It's nice.

I am sooooo glad I have tomorrow off, too. It has been quite awhile since I had two full days off in a row. There is something about being relaxed at night because I don't have to get up early.

I made veggies for lunch and dinner. Teen is having a hard time, so I broke the no buying groceries and went and got them some snacks. They are just miserable so I thought it would cheer them up. There was a breakup. I don't know much else, but it's sad.

I have clean laundry on my bed that I will put away before I sleep.

Why do I have this urge to get rid of things, and really want it, but when I go in a room to start, I get totally frozen and do nothing? Hm. I will try again tomorrow.

Lila, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

Last day of school.

Not ready. The tears started yesterday. I wrote notes to my four favorite students and we had our big official goodbyes at the end of class and then the annual school wide ice cream party. Two of them don't have classes today, so I don't know when/if I will see them again.

I had a returning student who is in art school come yesterday with her final project from her ceramics class and give a presentation. That was nice. We got a bit of a catch up.

Before I leave for school I have last assignments to check and the counter mess to stash in the basement.

We got our end of the year teacher gifts from the school - it was a $15 gift card to a grocery store - which I have already spent on donuts for class today, and a school t-shirt with the new logo that I don't like on a color of shirt that looks awful on me. I didn't order any shirts this year for the first time because I have 15 without holes and don't like the logo. I'll wear it on days we do a project that threatens my clothes. I kind of wish they would just skip the teacher gifts.

My boy and his wife are here and we had a short visit last night before bed. I'll stay as late as I can at school tonight cleaning up my room to avoid Dh parents as much as I can. My all time favorite student - who graduated this year - is staying late to repaint the classroom ceiling he decorated for the prank and finish gridding my table, so that will keep me there as well.

Must function!

Hey everyone,

I hope this message finds you in a place of understanding and compassion. It's not easy to open up about personal struggles, but sometimes, finding solace in a supportive community can make all the difference.

I'm here today to extend a helping hand to those who are dealing with the overwhelming challenge of hoarding, an issue that hits close to home for me. Growing up in a family of hoarders, I intimately understand the complex emotions and deep attachments we can develop towards our possessions.

As a real estate professional specializing in the restoration of homes affected by hoarding, my mission is to bring newfound hope and clarity into your life. I've witnessed firsthand the weight that hoarding can place on individuals, families, and relationships. But please know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

If you find yourself in need of assistance with cleanup, repairs, or even if you're contemplating a fresh start by leaving your current home, I am here for you. With empathy and expertise, I can guide you through the process, providing the support you deserve every step of the way.

Restoring a home isn't just about creating a physical space; it's about restoring your peace of mind, reclaiming a sense of control, and fostering a nurturing environment that promotes well-being. Together, we can embark on a transformative journey to overcome the challenges that hoarding presents.

Please don't hesitate to reach out to me at 305-209-4632. Your call will be met with the utmost confidentiality and understanding. Remember, you're not alone in this, and I am committed to assisting you in any way I can.

Wishing you strength, courage, and the promise of a brighter future.

Warm regards,

Ty Cornelius
Professional Hoarding Restoration Specialist