Omg you guys - every Sunday my Dd takes bean to the bakery for a muffin or donut. And they sit on the bench outside and eat it.

Bean knew it was Sunday because the church down the road rings it's bells. And he wouldn't stop crying "donut, mama, muffin. Get donut."

The bakery doesn't have curbside or delivery, but sil called and they took his cc and left the bag on the bench for him to grab without exposing anybody.❤️

Omg you guys - every Sunday my Dd takes bean to the bakery for a muffin or donut. And they sit on the bench outside and eat it.

Bean knew it was Sunday because the church down the road rings it's bells. And he wouldn't stop crying "donut, mama, muffin. Get donut."

The bakery doesn't have curbside or delivery, but sil called and they took his cc and left the bag on the bench for him to grab without exposing anybody.❤️

Awww little Bean wanting his special Sunday treat! That is so sweet, the tradition is meaningful to the little guy! I love that!

Thank you so much for the bar/horse analogy. That helps ad so do suggestions. Let's see. actually have four jewelry boxes, forgot to name one. One has my mother's jewelry and a few dad/grandparent pieces in it. Then I ha another one with some of mine in it... it s full. The rest of mine is in the top dresser drawer which is very shallow and lined for jewelry. The other small one my son gave me is empty, but could be used for other small items. The idea was, when my other son gave me the big jewelry wall hanging cabinet, that all my jewelry would go in there from the dresser drawer and the box that is not meaningful. Then I would get rid of that one or give it to teen or Tot. Actually this makes me think about getting rid of some jewelry. I wear maybe 5 - 10 pieces and all the rest sits.

The frames are for photos which are in tubs. Yes, I think teen would destroy them. Almost all my wall space is completely bare for this reason.

Yes! the otoscope can go n the medicine cabnet, thank you, and I don't know why it wasn't there in the first place.

VHS tapes are personal... of my kids as babies, and of my father before he died. Some of them I mailed out to have put on dvds but they did something wrong and I am paralyzed trying to figure out what tape was not copied or what they missed. I also have tapes that have not been copied yet. Anxous about it.

I like the cabinet idea in a way. But also all those items make me so angry and sad. I love teen so much and it makes me very upset that I won't be able to have anything fixed and nice unless teen is not here... but them not being here is a dreadful thought. Why can't things just be better? How can you love someone with your whole being, so much, and still be so angry and hurt by them? It's like my soul is outside my body being tortured.

I had a good morning with Tot and now am home resting. I plan to do some work on these things in my room now. Or at least some processing in there.

Awww little Bean wanting his special Sunday treat! That is so sweet, the tradition is meaningful to the little guy! I love that!

Thank you so much for the bar/horse analogy. That helps ad so do suggestions. Let's see. actually have four jewelry boxes, forgot to name one. One has my mother's jewelry and a few dad/grandparent pieces in it. Then I ha another one with some of mine in it... it s full. The rest of mine is in the top dresser drawer which is very shallow and lined for jewelry. The other small one my son gave me is empty, but could be used for other small items. The idea was, when my other son gave me the big jewelry wall hanging cabinet, that all my jewelry would go in there from the dresser drawer and the box that is not meaningful. Then I would get rid of that one or give it to teen or Tot. Actually this makes me think about getting rid of some jewelry. I wear maybe 5 - 10 pieces and all the rest sits.

The frames are for photos which are in tubs. Yes, I think teen would destroy them. Almost all my wall space is completely bare for this reason.

Yes! the otoscope can go n the medicine cabnet, thank you, and I don't know why it wasn't there in the first place.

VHS tapes are personal... of my kids as babies, and of my father before he died. Some of them I mailed out to have put on dvds but they did something wrong and I am paralyzed trying to figure out what tape was not copied or what they missed. I also have tapes that have not been copied yet. Anxous about it.

I like the cabinet idea in a way. But also all those items make me so angry and sad. I love teen so much and it makes me very upset that I won't be able to have anything fixed and nice unless teen is not here... but them not being here is a dreadful thought. Why can't things just be better? How can you love someone with your whole being, so much, and still be so angry and hurt by them? It's like my soul is outside my body being tortured.

I had a good morning with Tot and now am home resting. I plan to do some work on these things in my room now. Or at least some processing in there.

oops, wanted to also respond - Road, as for acquiring, I tend to stress shop online. I find it takes my mind off whatever terrible thing is bothering me. So I start browsing and looking and pricing. Categories I do this with tend to be: clothing, food, dog items, cleaning items (lol).

Last time I stress shopped about $300 in clothes, but I returned almost all of it.

oops, wanted to also respond - Road, as for acquiring, I tend to stress shop online. I find it takes my mind off whatever terrible thing is bothering me. So I start browsing and looking and pricing. Categories I do this with tend to be: clothing, food, dog items, cleaning items (lol).

Last time I stress shopped about $300 in clothes, but I returned almost all of it.

Hi all,

Back from making dinner, cleaning up, medicating the nervous Nellie dog, and putting my son to bed... now I am not at all motivated to do anything in my room so I guess I will just Try to do something. Maybe I will make it so I am not tripping over things trying to get out of the door. Such a high bar! 🤔🤓

Road, sounds like we have similar bars, lol. You can do it, a little at a time!

I think SubC's question to me is waking something like a new awareness. What is cluttering up my room aside from clothes? And I couldn't even think of more than a few small items. So I decided to take this as an "awakening" to reexamine what IS cluttering up my space, and what can go.

I went in there tonight and took photos with my phone. Now I am going to look through them and list, what really IS in my room taking up all this space (furniture is not excessive so not lisitng that).

- coins strewn and in boxes/bags
- envelopes, cards, address labels
- otoscope
- files, papers, gift bags
- plastic box of random items
- plastic tote of tools that I have to keep locked up from teen
- 2 or 3 plastic boxes of medicines I have to keep locked up from teen
- box of dress up jewelry for Tot when she's 5ish
- 2 plastic drawer sets full of teen's childhood things, including some toys, barbies, etc to pass on to Tot, mementos teen doesn't care about now but probably will later
- empty big wall jerelry box that needs to have photos put in it and be hung on the wall
- 6 pairs of new or nearly new sneakers
- tote of cords, plugs, software, computer mice, memory sticks etc
- paper shredder, Christmas book someone gave me, box of pens, tote of blankets
- old laptops (2) that I need to get files off, but they won't boot up
- new photo scanner
- a wooden chess board my son made for me
- candles
- tote full of our kitchen dishes that are breakable, kept there because teen breaks them
- tote full of coffee mugs and glassware, same reason as above
- box of kitchen knives locked up, same reason as above
- trash can, empty boxes for donations
- box of childhood photos and my mother's journals
- totes of photos of my children's childhood
- photo albums of my kids
- jewelry boxes, one that was my mothers, one my son gave me
- empty frames, folded blankets, dog bed, little rocking chair that was mine as a child, in there so teen doesn't destroy it
- tote of nail polish and supplies
- dollhouse my dad made for me when I was a child, but it's on the fragile side, want to let tot play with it when she is 6 or 7
- bags of dog treats, food samples, chews, meds, supplies
- tote of dog chews and treats, full
- books I borrowed but havent read yet
- boxes for things I bought and might re-sell
- electronics
- coffee mugs and hot/cold thermoses and cups, mugs that have special photos on them, a mug my dad gave me before he died. All kept in my room so teen doesn't break them
- box of DVDs I had created from vhs tapes but some things are missing so I can't even get rid of the vhs tapes til I am sure what was copied
- a plastic bin of expensive spices I bought but have no room for in the kitchen
- wrapping paper
- pictures from my childhood that I have not hung
- random cords, prescriptions, play doh, a disposable camera I need to develop for teen, more pens, pieces of candy, 2 tablets, a hot and a cold lunch container, lavendar eye cover, rice bag that can heat in the microwave for sore areas, flashlights, books, lotions, index cards, notebooks, markers, colored pencils
- tape measures, dog toys, sandals, slippers, stick vacuum, dust rags, dog food samples, china tea set, bags for travel, cords for internet, lamp, my dog's ashes (this makes me sad, I need to do something nice with them but am not ready)

This is not counting anything in closet or drawers.

Road, sounds like we have similar bars, lol. You can do it, a little at a time!

I think SubC's question to me is waking something like a new awareness. What is cluttering up my room aside from clothes? And I couldn't even think of more than a few small items. So I decided to take this as an "awakening" to reexamine what IS cluttering up my space, and what can go.

I went in there tonight and took photos with my phone. Now I am going to look through them and list, what really IS in my room taking up all this space (furniture is not excessive so not lisitng that).

- coins strewn and in boxes/bags
- envelopes, cards, address labels
- otoscope
- files, papers, gift bags
- plastic box of random items
- plastic tote of tools that I have to keep locked up from teen
- 2 or 3 plastic boxes of medicines I have to keep locked up from teen
- box of dress up jewelry for Tot when she's 5ish
- 2 plastic drawer sets full of teen's childhood things, including some toys, barbies, etc to pass on to Tot, mementos teen doesn't care about now but probably will later
- empty big wall jerelry box that needs to have photos put in it and be hung on the wall
- 6 pairs of new or nearly new sneakers
- tote of cords, plugs, software, computer mice, memory sticks etc
- paper shredder, Christmas book someone gave me, box of pens, tote of blankets
- old laptops (2) that I need to get files off, but they won't boot up
- new photo scanner
- a wooden chess board my son made for me
- candles
- tote full of our kitchen dishes that are breakable, kept there because teen breaks them
- tote full of coffee mugs and glassware, same reason as above
- box of kitchen knives locked up, same reason as above
- trash can, empty boxes for donations
- box of childhood photos and my mother's journals
- totes of photos of my children's childhood
- photo albums of my kids
- jewelry boxes, one that was my mothers, one my son gave me
- empty frames, folded blankets, dog bed, little rocking chair that was mine as a child, in there so teen doesn't destroy it
- tote of nail polish and supplies
- dollhouse my dad made for me when I was a child, but it's on the fragile side, want to let tot play with it when she is 6 or 7
- bags of dog treats, food samples, chews, meds, supplies
- tote of dog chews and treats, full
- books I borrowed but havent read yet
- boxes for things I bought and might re-sell
- electronics
- coffee mugs and hot/cold thermoses and cups, mugs that have special photos on them, a mug my dad gave me before he died. All kept in my room so teen doesn't break them
- box of DVDs I had created from vhs tapes but some things are missing so I can't even get rid of the vhs tapes til I am sure what was copied
- a plastic bin of expensive spices I bought but have no room for in the kitchen
- wrapping paper
- pictures from my childhood that I have not hung
- random cords, prescriptions, play doh, a disposable camera I need to develop for teen, more pens, pieces of candy, 2 tablets, a hot and a cold lunch container, lavendar eye cover, rice bag that can heat in the microwave for sore areas, flashlights, books, lotions, index cards, notebooks, markers, colored pencils
- tape measures, dog toys, sandals, slippers, stick vacuum, dust rags, dog food samples, china tea set, bags for travel, cords for internet, lamp, my dog's ashes (this makes me sad, I need to do something nice with them but am not ready)

This is not counting anything in closet or drawers.

Whoa Lila, there is a lot of emotional weight in all those piles of "you weren't so sure what was there..."

The content sounds a lot like mine. I think I may be further along in analyzing what my stuff is about but I may be more immobilized than you. You do a really good job of taking action and that is so important.

My only suggestion for prioritizing is to see if you can categorize thinGs by how Much space they are taking up, how much emotional baggage they hold, and how long they would take to deal with... like is there something that's not taking Much space but might be heavy lifting emotionally or a 10-hour project? Or maybe there's something that's taking up a few bins worth of space but it might only take a hour or two to get rid of it... one way to prioritize.

Over here I was able to clear a path to the door. Bare floor from here to there and nothing obstructing the door or floor. Threw away some more little pieces of garbage (mostly puppy shredding), and picked up some laundry off the floor. My son had been starting to come in and "redistribute" things again so I started locking my door.

Motivated again to get a handle on things. Thanks everyone! I think last year I printed out some of my analysis and plan of attack. I will try to find that and Review. No sense reinventing ye olde wheel.

Re: acquisitions, where is everyone on this topic? I feel like generally I am out of this stage but there are some sneaky ways thins start to accumulate again. Like sinCe my Dx in April, I've bought 4 books and about 10 related supplies like some supplements, a water filter, etc. I can totally justify all of it but the issue is that due to my existing hoard of books and supplements I still can't find what I'm looking for half the time. Random thoughts.

Subc, good reminder about finding (free/cheap) things to do around town. I think my limitation (aside from generally getting more anxious/introverted) is that going out with my son can be challenging because I have to always have a hand on him. I Feel like I have to go to the bathroom constantly and I can't leave him alone - even in a restaurant at a table because he could wander off. A lot of places don't have the family bathrooms and he's too old to take into the ladies with me. But since I stopped drinking Diet Coke, the bladder situation has Been better... maybe with some planning I could figure out a few places to go and expand from there. Same situation with vacations. I could take him down to universal and stay with a friend or something but I couldn't manage him in the park alone. Most of the time he's super sweet and polite but in a crowd or unfamiliar situation he could just up and whap someone walking by,,, maybe I just need to do outings in a buddy situation with another special needs mom... hmmm wheels are spinning...

Whoa Lila, there is a lot of emotional weight in all those piles of "you weren't so sure what was there..."

The content sounds a lot like mine. I think I may be further along in analyzing what my stuff is about but I may be more immobilized than you. You do a really good job of taking action and that is so important.

My only suggestion for prioritizing is to see if you can categorize thinGs by how Much space they are taking up, how much emotional baggage they hold, and how long they would take to deal with... like is there something that's not taking Much space but might be heavy lifting emotionally or a 10-hour project? Or maybe there's something that's taking up a few bins worth of space but it might only take a hour or two to get rid of it... one way to prioritize.

Over here I was able to clear a path to the door. Bare floor from here to there and nothing obstructing the door or floor. Threw away some more little pieces of garbage (mostly puppy shredding), and picked up some laundry off the floor. My son had been starting to come in and "redistribute" things again so I started locking my door.

Motivated again to get a handle on things. Thanks everyone! I think last year I printed out some of my analysis and plan of attack. I will try to find that and Review. No sense reinventing ye olde wheel.

Re: acquisitions, where is everyone on this topic? I feel like generally I am out of this stage but there are some sneaky ways thins start to accumulate again. Like sinCe my Dx in April, I've bought 4 books and about 10 related supplies like some supplements, a water filter, etc. I can totally justify all of it but the issue is that due to my existing hoard of books and supplements I still can't find what I'm looking for half the time. Random thoughts.

Subc, good reminder about finding (free/cheap) things to do around town. I think my limitation (aside from generally getting more anxious/introverted) is that going out with my son can be challenging because I have to always have a hand on him. I Feel like I have to go to the bathroom constantly and I can't leave him alone - even in a restaurant at a table because he could wander off. A lot of places don't have the family bathrooms and he's too old to take into the ladies with me. But since I stopped drinking Diet Coke, the bladder situation has Been better... maybe with some planning I could figure out a few places to go and expand from there. Same situation with vacations. I could take him down to universal and stay with a friend or something but I couldn't manage him in the park alone. Most of the time he's super sweet and polite but in a crowd or unfamiliar situation he could just up and whap someone walking by,,, maybe I just need to do outings in a buddy situation with another special needs mom... hmmm wheels are spinning...

I have been told by horse people that when you teach a horse to jump, you begin by laying the bar on the ground and leading the horse to step over it. I have seen this done with alpacas, who can learn to leap bars that are quite high.

Lay your bar down, we will coax you over.

Lila, a few things stand out to me - you have three jewelry boxes - are they empty? Where is your jewelry?

What is supposed to be in those empty frames? Is there wall space for the unhung pictures? Is the problem that teen might pull them off the wall?

Just a thought that might or might not appeal - There are a variety of locking metal cabinets available which might help you better store all of those tote items if you have the furniture room. I realize that they can be quite expensive. Maybe you can find a dollar every day to put in a jar? - start with your change. You would have enough for a nice one in a year. Trust me, a year is not a long time.

Can the otoscope go in the medicine cabinet?

Are the vhs tapes personal or commercial?

Give the dog a treat.

My bar for today is to maintain or improve the kitchen while processing more beans and possibly making cheese. Also to clean up the dining table and great room space - especially the couch I have buried.

I hear you Road and am reading your posts. That sounds like stressful situations with dh and dad and trying to get stuff done and makeson's life as great as you can. I relate to a lot of it. I hope you can get the family vacay sorted out.

SubC, what's in my room besides clothes. Hmmm.
the most random stuff. I think I will go in there and take a mental inventory after dinner. I know it is so piled I can hardly walk, but now that you ask me, I can barely name anything that's in there. I will report back.

I am making dinner, Tot is here, we played, now she is playing with my son. Her parents will be here in 30 min with the new baby, whom I shall call Acorn. I have not cooked yet... I had to clear the dining room table, which was piled high because of having the carpets cleaned a week ago. Nothing ever got put back. Too many chaotic things went on. But the table is cleared and wiped. Although, I mainly put all the stuff onto other surfaces. I have a lot of work to do, and am even more motivated to get rid of things because this is ridiculous, and tiring.

I hear you Road and am reading your posts. That sounds like stressful situations with dh and dad and trying to get stuff done and makeson's life as great as you can. I relate to a lot of it. I hope you can get the family vacay sorted out.

SubC, what's in my room besides clothes. Hmmm.
the most random stuff. I think I will go in there and take a mental inventory after dinner. I know it is so piled I can hardly walk, but now that you ask me, I can barely name anything that's in there. I will report back.

I am making dinner, Tot is here, we played, now she is playing with my son. Her parents will be here in 30 min with the new baby, whom I shall call Acorn. I have not cooked yet... I had to clear the dining room table, which was piled high because of having the carpets cleaned a week ago. Nothing ever got put back. Too many chaotic things went on. But the table is cleared and wiped. Although, I mainly put all the stuff onto other surfaces. I have a lot of work to do, and am even more motivated to get rid of things because this is ridiculous, and tiring.

Hi all,

Back from making dinner, cleaning up, medicating the nervous Nellie dog, and putting my son to bed... now I am not at all motivated to do anything in my room so I guess I will just Try to do something. Maybe I will make it so I am not tripping over things trying to get out of the door. Such a high bar! 🤔🤓

So, what categories of stuff are in your bedroom besides clothes?

As for the coins - unless you want to make a hobby of inspecting coins for a treasure hunt, start spending them so you don't get more!

Hard, slow method: Basically every penny, nickel or dime minted since 2000 is face value so start by carrying a dollar or two of those in your pocket to spend. Then pick a category - say, quarters, and check by year to see if there is anything valuable - you can make note of things to look for and start rolling or spending them down.

Or, fast method: just realize that the odds of you having a coin that will be worth the time spent to sell it are extremely low (lower than your odds of getting hit by a car) and just spend/bank the change.

So, what categories of stuff are in your bedroom besides clothes?

As for the coins - unless you want to make a hobby of inspecting coins for a treasure hunt, start spending them so you don't get more!

Hard, slow method: Basically every penny, nickel or dime minted since 2000 is face value so start by carrying a dollar or two of those in your pocket to spend. Then pick a category - say, quarters, and check by year to see if there is anything valuable - you can make note of things to look for and start rolling or spending them down.

Or, fast method: just realize that the odds of you having a coin that will be worth the time spent to sell it are extremely low (lower than your odds of getting hit by a car) and just spend/bank the change.

I'm with Lila. I am a bit frozen in my tracks with my room right now. All I ended up doing was picking up some trash and laundry. No noticeable difference visually. Instead I got distracted by printing up a hoard of summer school activities for the kid. I found some good stuff but the reality is I already have way more than I could ever use and he is routinely (Literally) narcoleptic when faced with structured table work. This neurologist is completely useless.

Tatoulia, I hope this was a stay at home day because I am seeing in Twitter that the young nazis (pat front) are marching there and mucking up the works.

Re vacay. The H is going to NOLA for a few days (where his bro is working during the week) and they have this whole array of amazing stuff scheduled to do. I was earnestly excited for him to spend this time with his bro and nephew since they have been through a lot with their challenging mother and losing their brother two years ago. It then when he started giving me flack about the vacay we were planning, my grace went out the window. Honestly, he's ok if I go somewhere for a few days because he wants to be able to also but what we really haven't done for 5 years is take a family vacay. My son doesn't understand a lot and can communicate even less but he does ask about the beach and talks about that vacay quite a bit. I had a goal to get him back into activities and he has a fairly packed slate. I advocated for him to have a better school situation next year to the best of my ability, and even though I feel I failed, I did negotiate some stuff for him. That's all I can do. So I'm still behind catching up on his medical stuff although we just did that ridiculous extended EEG. Now I just have the goal of giving him some fun family experiences. We were actually just going to go to St. Louis with my folks but my dad had a meltdown the other day and I decided I didn't want to get in a car with him for that long or be beholden to him for paying for the hotel, etc. so I bailed out and we haven't talked for a week. He really and truly needs some medication or something but I don't think there's anything I can do about that. They've done better (he's done better) living at the retirement place for the past year but now my mom is indicating that he's starting to get into it with people there so she's worried.

I'm really going to try to reset my room tonight. First have to make dinner...

I'm with Lila. I am a bit frozen in my tracks with my room right now. All I ended up doing was picking up some trash and laundry. No noticeable difference visually. Instead I got distracted by printing up a hoard of summer school activities for the kid. I found some good stuff but the reality is I already have way more than I could ever use and he is routinely (Literally) narcoleptic when faced with structured table work. This neurologist is completely useless.

Tatoulia, I hope this was a stay at home day because I am seeing in Twitter that the young nazis (pat front) are marching there and mucking up the works.

Re vacay. The H is going to NOLA for a few days (where his bro is working during the week) and they have this whole array of amazing stuff scheduled to do. I was earnestly excited for him to spend this time with his bro and nephew since they have been through a lot with their challenging mother and losing their brother two years ago. It then when he started giving me flack about the vacay we were planning, my grace went out the window. Honestly, he's ok if I go somewhere for a few days because he wants to be able to also but what we really haven't done for 5 years is take a family vacay. My son doesn't understand a lot and can communicate even less but he does ask about the beach and talks about that vacay quite a bit. I had a goal to get him back into activities and he has a fairly packed slate. I advocated for him to have a better school situation next year to the best of my ability, and even though I feel I failed, I did negotiate some stuff for him. That's all I can do. So I'm still behind catching up on his medical stuff although we just did that ridiculous extended EEG. Now I just have the goal of giving him some fun family experiences. We were actually just going to go to St. Louis with my folks but my dad had a meltdown the other day and I decided I didn't want to get in a car with him for that long or be beholden to him for paying for the hotel, etc. so I bailed out and we haven't talked for a week. He really and truly needs some medication or something but I don't think there's anything I can do about that. They've done better (he's done better) living at the retirement place for the past year but now my mom is indicating that he's starting to get into it with people there so she's worried.

I'm really going to try to reset my room tonight. First have to make dinner...

oh SubC, I know how irritating it is when we have to look at something we don't like day after day! My husband went to buy a washer and dryer 16 years ago when I was in the hospital for a week. I TOLD him "just anything BUT the ones with the rainbow colored dial settings, I don't like those." But of course those were on sale and he got them. And as shallow as it is, I have thought about it almost every time I do laundry all these years. I should have just painted over it or something. But now this set is dying and I am going to be the one choosing!!

Teen has made progress over the years and sometimes DOES clean up the rage mess themselves. But this time teen is inpatient for a week or two, and I figured it would be emotionally better if it is cleaned up now, and not a reminder hen they get home.

Today is my day off and so far I:
- put in a load of wash
- took two boxes of donations to the car
- added the air fryer and a couple of wreaths to the donations
- threw out some trash and two boxes from the garage
- found the Tot sized small box of clothing in there, got out the summer things and put them in my car to give to Tot to wear
- found the Tot age appropriate toys (2 tubs) and brought them inside. I will switch out the ones more suited for a 1-2 yr old and put out the 3-4 year old ones, and put the tubs back. Some may be donated, but I already pared it down significantly.
- trimmed the branches on a front tree and roses again, and put them in the green bin
- watered the plants in front
- made an appointment for a pedicure this afternoon

Wow! See, this is why I love this forum. I thought I did not get much done but it looks great when I list it out!

I hope you can get a vacation, Road. Let him stay home and watch the dog, and YOU go!

I will focus on surrounding myself with things that are soft, sturdy and beautiful!

Lol- maybe I will paint the fan. He would hate that.

Road, my youngest uncle has been sober for three weeks this time. All you can do is support positive decisions. Hiwwould we be able to support you through the stresses in you life if you didn't tell us about them?

I think you deserve a vacation. Even if all you can do is get ahead on that clean up and then take mini vacations locally - leave your boys at home together and go do something that relaxes you and brings you joy for the day - do that. It doesn't have to cost a lot. For example - I live an hour from a free art museum with a very nice, reasonably priced cafe where I could get lunch..

Lila, you have done a lot! I think YOU deserve a vacation too! Clear away the rubble so you can start over as well, and then enjoy the rest of the two weeks eating off your pretty china and relaxing and do not feel even a little bit guilty when you feel happy or relieved. The inpatient time is for you too, to recharge so you can continue to move forward.

I got the beans picked, and some of the onions, and I dug up one potato plant because they are dying back - not a great harvest, but not bad for sheer total neglect. Enough to make a nice dish of new potatoes and green beans for dinner.

It is much too hot to be outside. I've had to take many water breaks to cool off and keep soaking my shirt. I am done for today (at least until evening)

My next goal is to clean up the kitchen and get some of these beans into the dehydrator.

Lol- maybe I will paint the fan. He would hate that.

Road, my youngest uncle has been sober for three weeks this time. All you can do is support positive decisions. Hiwwould we be able to support you through the stresses in you life if you didn't tell us about them?

I think you deserve a vacation. Even if all you can do is get ahead on that clean up and then take mini vacations locally - leave your boys at home together and go do something that relaxes you and brings you joy for the day - do that. It doesn't have to cost a lot. For example - I live an hour from a free art museum with a very nice, reasonably priced cafe where I could get lunch..

Lila, you have done a lot! I think YOU deserve a vacation too! Clear away the rubble so you can start over as well, and then enjoy the rest of the two weeks eating off your pretty china and relaxing and do not feel even a little bit guilty when you feel happy or relieved. The inpatient time is for you too, to recharge so you can continue to move forward.

I got the beans picked, and some of the onions, and I dug up one potato plant because they are dying back - not a great harvest, but not bad for sheer total neglect. Enough to make a nice dish of new potatoes and green beans for dinner.

It is much too hot to be outside. I've had to take many water breaks to cool off and keep soaking my shirt. I am done for today (at least until evening)

My next goal is to clean up the kitchen and get some of these beans into the dehydrator.

Thank you SubC for the reminder. Guilt tries to slide in, but you're right. This is my chance to recharge and relax a bit, to be better able to deal with things when teen comes home.

I went and ran a few errands: used a coupon to get a free bag of dog food, got some cute clearance clothes for Tot and the new miniTot, got some iced tea, and dropped off those donation boxes. Yay, my house is lighter!! 🙂

Then I went for my pedicure and I don't feel like I have hawk talons for feet anymore. Came home and took laundry out, put laundry in. Resting a bit now.

I will be going to pick up Tot and bring her over to play for a couple hours with the "new" toys from the garage, and then her parents are coming for dinner. What's for dinner, you ask? I am asking the same thing, lol.

Thank you SubC for the reminder. Guilt tries to slide in, but you're right. This is my chance to recharge and relax a bit, to be better able to deal with things when teen comes home.

I went and ran a few errands: used a coupon to get a free bag of dog food, got some cute clearance clothes for Tot and the new miniTot, got some iced tea, and dropped off those donation boxes. Yay, my house is lighter!! 🙂

Then I went for my pedicure and I don't feel like I have hawk talons for feet anymore. Came home and took laundry out, put laundry in. Resting a bit now.

I will be going to pick up Tot and bring her over to play for a couple hours with the "new" toys from the garage, and then her parents are coming for dinner. What's for dinner, you ask? I am asking the same thing, lol.

I am trying to clean my bedroom and it is such a struggle. Can anyone talk me through this a bit?

I already picked up all trash, sorted receipts and papers and threw away any I don't need as well as stray packaging.

I look around and everything in there is something I think I need, or am hesitant to get rid of. Clothing aside (which I worked on and it is mainly under control), how can I figure out what to keep and what to get rid of?

Just because I have not used something in a couple years, I can't just get rid of it.

UGH it is so frustrating!!

I have piles of coins and I think there has to be a valuable coin in there somewhere! Maybe there is that rare coin that will be like winning the lottery and get me out of debt. There are so many though. And how do I know if it is valuable? I tried looking up rare coins and started a list and spent a whole day looking at some of them.

I still have 6 pairs of sneakers even though I donated several pairs. There is so much junk I can't walk in there!! But not one item I look at feels like I could donate it! I think something is wrong with me. How will I ever get out of this maze of trash??

I am trying to clean my bedroom and it is such a struggle. Can anyone talk me through this a bit?

I already picked up all trash, sorted receipts and papers and threw away any I don't need as well as stray packaging.

I look around and everything in there is something I think I need, or am hesitant to get rid of. Clothing aside (which I worked on and it is mainly under control), how can I figure out what to keep and what to get rid of?

Just because I have not used something in a couple years, I can't just get rid of it.

UGH it is so frustrating!!

I have piles of coins and I think there has to be a valuable coin in there somewhere! Maybe there is that rare coin that will be like winning the lottery and get me out of debt. There are so many though. And how do I know if it is valuable? I tried looking up rare coins and started a list and spent a whole day looking at some of them.

I still have 6 pairs of sneakers even though I donated several pairs. There is so much junk I can't walk in there!! But not one item I look at feels like I could donate it! I think something is wrong with me. How will I ever get out of this maze of trash??

Well, bean is positive. I'm sure his parents are next. I was last there Tuesday night.

Lila, lean in to the desire to clean the garage! It sounds like you need to fill your life with things that are beautiful, sturdy, and soft.

Is teen able to help clean up when they have calmed down?

It finally rained here last night. Today begins the long drive to clean up all the everything's and get control of the garden. Especially since I won't see Bean. 🙁 I hope we can dig potatoes when he does come back. The deer ate all of our sunflowers. 🙁

The ceiling fan in our bedroom died and Dh bought another one yesterday while I was at the "staff meeting." He called to see if I wanted to meet him and help pick, but I had already had a beer and couldn't drive, so he went without me and chose one I hate. I got home and he had it nearly installed. Since it is nothing at all like any of the fans we have chosen together, I feel like he had to know I wouldn't like it. It's high quality and will probably last the rest of my life. I feel like I am being punished for making the extremely rare choice to be social.

Well, bean is positive. I'm sure his parents are next. I was last there Tuesday night.

Lila, lean in to the desire to clean the garage! It sounds like you need to fill your life with things that are beautiful, sturdy, and soft.

Is teen able to help clean up when they have calmed down?

It finally rained here last night. Today begins the long drive to clean up all the everything's and get control of the garden. Especially since I won't see Bean. 🙁 I hope we can dig potatoes when he does come back. The deer ate all of our sunflowers. 🙁

The ceiling fan in our bedroom died and Dh bought another one yesterday while I was at the "staff meeting." He called to see if I wanted to meet him and help pick, but I had already had a beer and couldn't drive, so he went without me and chose one I hate. I got home and he had it nearly installed. Since it is nothing at all like any of the fans we have chosen together, I feel like he had to know I wouldn't like it. It's high quality and will probably last the rest of my life. I feel like I am being punished for making the extremely rare choice to be social.

Hi all,

Sorry I have missed so much again!

Subc, your wish for Lila to have things "beautiful, sturdy and soft" Made me smile and feel so much affection for all you wonderful people.

The ups and downs continue to roll along here as well - suffice it to say, my sister had my brother take her to the hospital with a herniated disc and desire to go to rehab. One epic week of disasters later (at a very poorly run for profit rehab) is home, sober I think, in slightly less pain, and plugged in to a Buddhist based program that she feels very good about. Her codependent daughter, in her absence, slid into an epic episode of something I'm not sure what. But I got calls from her, from her friend, from one of her cousins... She needs to decide to go to rehab, to stop lying to herself and others, and do the work of it. what can I say? Feeling pretty "not my circus not my monkeys" right now about the whole thing. I am totally sympathetic about the struggle of addiction, but when you're 30, and you have had addiction issues for half your life and haven't even finished one 30 day stretch of rehab, I don't know. I guess I'm just venting, but if you have suggestions, let me know. My other niece finally got out of the hospital with eating disorder issues. That was like a month. OY!

Meanwhile here I sit in my hoardy room and complain about others' dysfunction. I am horrible people.

Just kidding I'm not that bad, really.

SO! We finally started talking about a vacation. Maybe even a two weeker and I started getting excited but then the H came to his senses and started throwing cold water on everything. Ugh. Anyway, who knows what will happen with that but momentarily I was very motivated to clean stuff up and get my ducks in a row - I guess anticipating a dog sitter would be visiting and the fridge would need to be emptied, etc. so I'm going to try to work off of that even though I don't know if we are going to go anywhere or not. I had some clarity a few months ago that I needed to start a vacation savings fund, and even downloaded an app for it, but lost track of it. That's exactly what I need to do though because otherwise I feel like I'm at the mercy of his whims. Naturally, anything he wants to spend on is justified because it's for the house or car, even though it might be money we don't have. He's not motivated by taking vacations so it doesn't seem to matter to him if we go anywhere or not. I am not talking about 5-star. I'm talking about a week or two at a Vrbo or airbnb in Wisconsin. I guess I don't understand how we can't afford it when people who seem to make A lot less than he does can. I feel like I am so thrifty. But I must admit I don't have a clear handle on the finances, and the power dynamic of me not working and him working and being like he is is not conducive to taking vacations I guess. I think if you could sum our issues up in two words it would be "power struggle." Blurrrrgh

Ok, so all this complaining and my room is still a mess so I'm gonna get Off my butt and get out my little daily to do page and fill it out and get my head straight. I will be back with a productivity report I hope.

Tatoulia, tell me a little more about how you decided to gather stuff up. Do you just periodically scan your place and decide you want to do a sweep? What motivates you?

Subc, hope bean feels better. Lila, sorry about the fleas. Been there. It's such a hassle with having to go through everything but with the teen gone hopefully it is easier to really access everything. Sorry too about the destruction in the garage.

Sending hugs out to everyone::::

Hi all,

Sorry I have missed so much again!

Subc, your wish for Lila to have things "beautiful, sturdy and soft" Made me smile and feel so much affection for all you wonderful people.

The ups and downs continue to roll along here as well - suffice it to say, my sister had my brother take her to the hospital with a herniated disc and desire to go to rehab. One epic week of disasters later (at a very poorly run for profit rehab) is home, sober I think, in slightly less pain, and plugged in to a Buddhist based program that she feels very good about. Her codependent daughter, in her absence, slid into an epic episode of something I'm not sure what. But I got calls from her, from her friend, from one of her cousins... She needs to decide to go to rehab, to stop lying to herself and others, and do the work of it. what can I say? Feeling pretty "not my circus not my monkeys" right now about the whole thing. I am totally sympathetic about the struggle of addiction, but when you're 30, and you have had addiction issues for half your life and haven't even finished one 30 day stretch of rehab, I don't know. I guess I'm just venting, but if you have suggestions, let me know. My other niece finally got out of the hospital with eating disorder issues. That was like a month. OY!

Meanwhile here I sit in my hoardy room and complain about others' dysfunction. I am horrible people.

Just kidding I'm not that bad, really.

SO! We finally started talking about a vacation. Maybe even a two weeker and I started getting excited but then the H came to his senses and started throwing cold water on everything. Ugh. Anyway, who knows what will happen with that but momentarily I was very motivated to clean stuff up and get my ducks in a row - I guess anticipating a dog sitter would be visiting and the fridge would need to be emptied, etc. so I'm going to try to work off of that even though I don't know if we are going to go anywhere or not. I had some clarity a few months ago that I needed to start a vacation savings fund, and even downloaded an app for it, but lost track of it. That's exactly what I need to do though because otherwise I feel like I'm at the mercy of his whims. Naturally, anything he wants to spend on is justified because it's for the house or car, even though it might be money we don't have. He's not motivated by taking vacations so it doesn't seem to matter to him if we go anywhere or not. I am not talking about 5-star. I'm talking about a week or two at a Vrbo or airbnb in Wisconsin. I guess I don't understand how we can't afford it when people who seem to make A lot less than he does can. I feel like I am so thrifty. But I must admit I don't have a clear handle on the finances, and the power dynamic of me not working and him working and being like he is is not conducive to taking vacations I guess. I think if you could sum our issues up in two words it would be "power struggle." Blurrrrgh

Ok, so all this complaining and my room is still a mess so I'm gonna get Off my butt and get out my little daily to do page and fill it out and get my head straight. I will be back with a productivity report I hope.

Tatoulia, tell me a little more about how you decided to gather stuff up. Do you just periodically scan your place and decide you want to do a sweep? What motivates you?

Subc, hope bean feels better. Lila, sorry about the fleas. Been there. It's such a hassle with having to go through everything but with the teen gone hopefully it is easier to really access everything. Sorry too about the destruction in the garage.

Sending hugs out to everyone::::