Welcome home, SubC! Hi, CM! Aww, Tatoulia, I'm sorry for your depression.

I had a very long hard day. Several days. Teen rages. Long trips to doctors etc. Son away visiting family. But tonight I made myself do a little bit. I went into the ex's hoard again and threw all the empty boxes in the next room so I can pile them in my car and take them to recycling. Most of them are very old, torn, stained etc so not worth saving for donations. Then I got the shop vac and vacuumed his room. I moved books closer to the book shelf. I have to say, his room looks nicer than it ever has! Even with the stacks of totes, it looks so neat and you can see the floor. Happy that is done.

Next project is the room I threw all the boxes into. After the boxes go out there is a lot of stuff that belonged to all my kids 20, 30 years ago. Time to make some decisions. I think my Daily Tally will be going up.

But, for the next 3 days I have a lot of work to catch up on for my job. There won't be much time for any work on the house until Friday or Saturday.

Okay I did the other half of one thing. And I also got garbage out and visited mom.

Hi everyone. Not completely caught up but congratulations, Lila, on not digging those letters out of the trash. Very good work!

Cm keep moving forward! I didn't realize how long youve been dealing with the clutter and hoarding. Im so proud of you and your perseverance. I'm glad those books resonate with you. I'll take a gander to reinforce things with me.

I stayed in bed almost the entire weekend. Depression. And humidity. My big accomplishment on Saturday was I showered then we went to see mom and then we went out for dinner.

Yesterday I showered and eventually did two loads of laundry and also managed to walk to the grocery store in the heavy rain and humidity.

I had three things on my list. I've done 1/2 of one. Since Friday. That's it. Half of one. Very sad. Hard to keep my head up.

Welcome home, SubC.

Lila, you're killin' it!

I am picking up momentum on several fronts. Especially satisfying are those which have been long neglected and much dreaded. I kinda don't want to jinx it by saying too much too soon, but I won't be able to resist boasting if I manage to stick and pull off the accomplishment.

Thought about this the other day, for anyone interested - my first clutter mentor book author was Don Aslett, clear back in the 90s, and although it took me awhile for it to sink in and it still takes even more for the skills and motivation to kick in (but they are), I just love the way he goes after so many of the unexamined justifications we have in the consumerist society for hanging onto stuff and cluttering up our spaces. And he helps the reader to see what stopgap solutions are actually perpetuating the problem. "Junk Bunker" storage, for instance, and yes, I'm guilty but want to change. Sentimentality in excess. Habit. And much more. His books can be read on the Internet Archive - Not for Packrats Only and Clutter's Last Stand are my faves. He also has books on general cleaning because he ran a cleaning business. Here's the link to his oeuvre:

Don Aslett books on Internet Archive

Love the Lila show.

Very impressed!

Went to visit Dh aunt last night. She passed on two beautiful pieces of pottery - one with a lot of family significance.

I'm heading home today feeling freshly motivated.

More of the Lila show.

I went back in and took one more bag of trash out. Found an old plastic bin in the garage and took it in there and put all the remaining papers in it. Searched around, found a few more items and stuck them in there, along with some of his shoes and books. Lid on, stacked. Done.

All I have left is to put the remaining books on the bookshelf, sweep/vacuum, and dust off the desk. Everything will be done and I won't have to look at it anymore.

It was emotional because I was finding a few papers that I needed and pulled out to keep, but also found at least 15-20 cards I gave him in the first few years of marriage. In the cards I proclaimed my undying love. And as years went on, in the cards I begged him to love me back. Begged him to fall in love with me again. It was heartbreaking to read. They were scattered in various tubs and by the time I got to the end I thought, oh my gosh. I should have kept those for Teen. They always say their Dad and I could have never loved each other, things like that. I have letters my Dad wrote my mom that I treasure. I ALMOST wanted to go back through and pull them for Teen. which would take all day. Then I thought, Teen is not me. Teen is never going to give a damn about that kind of thing. So I let it be. Too painful to have around anyway, and would just be another pile in my bedroom.

Sigh.

Anyway I am glad all that work is done and the room is neat and stacked.

Tomorrow I will be gone all day for an appointment for Teen out of town. Wish me luck. I hope you guys post something before I get back!

update -

I went back into the ex's hoard and threw out 2 more bags of literal trash. Consolidated about 7 more boxes of things into plastic bins. Now all the clothing and almost all the papers are binned, so no mice can have them. There is a small stack of papers left so I need to go in the garage and get a small bin for those, and then I am done with his hoard... except for all the books, which I will put on a bookshelf in there and hopefully mice would not go onto a bookshelf. I will put the cat in there for a bit to scare them off every week or so.

Now I'm hot and tired, so more cleaning that room will wait.

SubC, ohhh, I really like the flags on curtain rods idea!! That sounds so cute and I bet he would love it! I am working on a room for Tot and Acorn and will keep this idea in mind if I come across any cute fabric, flags, etc.

I was supposed to be working but am feeling very unwell. I had a terrible migraine but it is easing a bit so I can type. I am going to eat something and thing about what to work on today.

I am looking around me right now and SEEING the clutter. I guess before, I 'saw' it but now I see every item that does not belong. Part of me immediately thinks "hide it all." Put it into cabinets, baskets, boxes in my bedroom. The other, new part of me, says "you don't need all this junk! Get rid of it!" So perhaps I can work from there, donating and throwing out part and finding homes for the rest.

The video and photos in my head are good motivation to DO something about this. I really do not want my grandchildren growing up in this clutter and remembering it and seeing it in photos and videos. Time for a change... even if just starting in the living room and dining room so it is not cluttery.

Lila,

I have pictures like that. You can't change the past. You move on. You look around your house and try to SEE it now.

I am glad you are getting all of ex's stuff in one room.

I am also glad you have a defined end point.

I am still at my in-laws' house.

Mil has given me some piano books for ddil and two house flags of tractors to hang up fro Bean. I might put them on curtain rods in his room.

Epiphany

I found a video of my kids from about 12 years ago. Ex is in the video also. It was a video my kid took and shows the living room and family room.

It was all hoarded up!! Clothing all over the floors, in boxes, bins all around, clutter on every surface, really bad! Why do I not remember it being like this?

What do I do with the horrified feeling like I have been "found out," that when my adult kids and my grandkids see this video in the future they will be like omg. WHAT A MESS. Wow, I am actually appalled.

And the epiphany is that almost every photo I take has clutter in the background. Stuff on the fireplace mantle, piles on end tables, stuff on the floor.

I am in my 50s and I am just today, just now actually seeing myself and my life for what it really is.

I don't know what to do with this.

Worked on the ex's hoard, consolidated about 8 random boxes of stuff and 2 dressers full of clothes and papers into plastic totes. Stacked them on his bed and out of the way. Took out 2 bags of trash.

Now I am hot and annoyed and starting to feel resentful, so I am quitting for now. I do want to finish the consolidation, which is not much left, so there will not be a mouse issue. Once it is done I never want to see it again. He can come take it to a storage unit when my car is paid off (I am renting him the space so I can afford my car payment).

CM, you are doing some good thought processing in your post. I do that too and find it helpful. Sometimes getting our thoughts and feelings and desires out on "paper" - even if it is a screen - helps get us moving in some direction.

I am supposed to go to two social events today and I am sort of not wanting to go. I do want to go because of who the people are and I want to hang out with them. So I will go. But right now I am feeling sluggish and wanting to isolate. I will feel better once I go.

I am kind of on a roll with ex's space. To be clear it is his stuff and I am not throwing out anything, even his junk mail and receipts from 1974, because he is paying rent for that space. But I am consolidating it because rented or not, I cannot have mice or bugs building homes in my house. I think I have some old totes in the garage not being used and I can bring one or two in there and move the rest of his clothing (which was left in drawers, where mice can get in the backs) and papers (in boxes, where mice can get in) into the totes. Then I can stack the totes at the edges of the room and move some more of his items from where it has spilled out into common space. And maybe the garage too. If all his junk is in that one room I will feel better. Although he might not like it, because he won't be able to find things easily.

So I may work on that a little more today. I took out a couple more boxes of trash and a blanket the cat had peed on when he accidentally got locked in the room. I will put it on the Daily Tally. I am getting close to 500/1000 items gone this year.

Hi all!

CM and Lila, you are doing well!

I helped my mom make a carload sized pile of stuff to donate from closets. Also picked up a stack of books to take home for Bean.

We are at my in-laws' house now.

Lila, I think for now if tallying the things out helps us, why not? Maybe as more gets gone we might come up with different goals such as clear that flat surface and keep it clear or something - but really it doesn't matter. Each person should work in the way that works best for them and brings the most satisfaction.

I went to my cousin's house this morning, the one who has recently moved to town. She is dealing with a lot of stuff from my grandma's house, her late parents, her kids and grandkids, her husband and maybe some of his relatives, and her own stuff since she is no longer maintaining two residences. I feel for her - and I don't have to worry about her judging me, we're both dealing with it. It may motivate me to do more with mine, perhaps someday she and I could have a garage sale (but even if we do, I wouldn't let that stop me from a steady progression of getting things out rather than setting too much aside for a big sale).

Earlier this week I was shifting around some of my art supplies and managed to clear temporarily the space where I could take photos of my roommate's books on that bookshelf behind my table. I know she is not feeling well at the moment so I won't pressure her but at least now she can know what books are there when she's ready to, and I know she has expressed a desire to downsize physical books. So for now, I will just be patient, and keep decluttering other stuff in my bedroom, of which there is plenty to work on.

The items I got rid of yesterday were pulled when I was doing some of this. If/when roommate can get those books out of there, I could put the art supplies that I was rounding up on those shelves. I had put others on another tall bookcase next to it some time ago. And of course start using the things, painting and drawing and making collages. If I find I have more art supplies than I want to keep, I can select some to let go of. It needs a little time to jell for decision making on that, so I won't push it just now.

Wanting also very much to do more writing - being back in touch with my college writing friend is a motivator there. Made some notes for some of my novels in progress.

We're having a rainstorm here - this really has been an unusual July. I'm glad that at least I've made it to the west side and east side water parks once, because in August they won't be open on weekdays anymore. And then after August not at all. Sad... June just didn't work well for getting there as I'd hoped. Still... there's always the indoor pool option. And I do want to start doing more walking and gentle cardio on treadmill, bikes, and muscle stuff on weight machines.

Feeling better about the driving now that I had the success yesterday, and today getting out to my cousin's - may it continue! The calmer I can be about that, the more I will go places and do things like exercise. In years past, one of the things that sometimes motivated me against the driving anxiety was the promise of shopping. I'd get all eager and excited. But nowadays, between Covid supply chain factors (even though less now but it is just not the same), business closings, inflation, and my own limited budget I've not found shopping to be nearly as much fun anymore. Which is probably good in the long run, but kind of disconcerting and disorienting till I get used to the new normal.

So, I rebuild the desire to go out for new and different reasons. Hope I can remember how much better exercise makes me feel, and let that itself be a primary motivator. Exercise will also help the brain do better at decision making, which in turn will help decluttering progress go faster. That's the theory anyway.

post 2 -

This morning I:
- emptied all the trashes to the road bin
- picked up a bit
- went in ex's hoard with trash bags and threw out all obvious trash. I took 3 full bags out.
- consolidated some of ex's hoard into bins to take up less room (he is renting a space and I want to make sure there are no mice)
- swept up broken glass that was on the floor in there for over a month
- watered the plants out in the front yard

I also added 10 bottles of expired lotions etc from that hoard to the Daily Tally. I feel better as I consolidate his junk into containers.

Having a latte, thinking about lunch, resting. It is very hot outside so no yard work today.

hello SubC, Tatoulia, CM. I caught up on your posts and am thinking of you in the hard things and praying for good days ahead for us all. Teen has been in crisis so I was unable to post or work or do anything else much. Plus I lost internet for the better part of 2 days. So I am tired and worn out but have today to be home. I should be working but I just need a day.

I had family over for dinner and the kitchen table was so easy to clear off and get ready for them. Very few things "live" on that table anymore. A good habit being formed. The bar/counter is another story, though, piled high. I may work on it today. I find it more satisfying to work on things where I can add to the Daily Tally with donations and toss-outs, but that counter is pretty much all 'keeps' that have no home.

Thinking about what area to tackle today. As I said it is very hard for me to work on areas where things just need to find homes and/or be cleaned.

I wonder if there is another way to feel motivated and count something so I feel like something got done. I guess I am a person who needs tangible? evidence I did something, whether it be a list or a report or whatever. But if I count an area cleaned, it is not really anything in my head because it is going to get dirty and cluttery again and I hate that.

Need more items gone, I guess, is the bottom line! And homes for what I keep.

Will report back and hope to see more how you all area doing.

Different sort of week.

Roommate saw doctor yesterday, got Rxs and x-ray. She has arthritis. It's good that she's been starting to do the gentle exercises like tai chi. Hoping she can come with me to swim and maybe find a water exercise class. Right now she needs to get a little relief from the severe pain before trying to do too much, then ease back in. I've been doing some of the pet care and stuff so it's been a disjointed week. Roommate is not comfortable in her bed so she has slept in the living room, which alters both of our routines more.

We did make it to computer class last night - and then I had to go and get a migraine 2/3 of the way through. I'd been on screens too much. May need to get some of those glasses that filter the glare for computer work. And if I had my way, the library would find softer lighting than those fluorescents or whatever they are. They aren't the old style fluorescents, but they are still rather intense.

Today I did manage to go swimming at the water park across town. Had to push against my agoraphobic resistance and indecision but of course once I got there and was having fun the endorphins kicked in and it was very good. On the way home I dropped off donations, which I put on the Daily Tally.

Hi to mom and dad! Keeping it together. A young woman at work offered to sleep over here and so we are making plans. My support system (includes everyone here, of course) is really stepping up. thank you!

Hi Tatoulia! Still thinking about you.

I'm at my parents house.

I'm here. Not in the greatest shape but I'm here. Going to bed. Back to office tmr.

Great work, SubC! And the kids are showing good habits by not taking the books!

I did not do anything last night after all. Such is life.

I have to get ready for work. I see my post last night was fragmented. What I meant was I found out a friend was with him yesterday and I was so glad to hear he had support. He had three or four professional movers, the container, and his friend.

I need to get ready for work. Have a good day, everyone!

Hi Tatoulia!

((((Hugs))))

The barn is, um, cleaner? It is not clean, but it is done for now. It is better than it was when the farm sitter came in March.

I still have a lot to do - I am not at all packed yet, but I guess I will get off in the morning.

I kind of want to stay and work on my basement. The kids said I can get rid of the books I asked about. But I am looking forward to seeing my mom! And my dad.

Wow! Everyone is doing so well!

Bf packed his container today (with movers) and I found out a friend came and worked all day with him. He's now sleeping on an air mattress he purchased today. He offered to drive my car down but I'll get it this weekend.

Have to do some things here. Will put some music on and come back.

Serial posting.

Should be cleaning out the barn, but it is still hot.

I opened up over a foot of shelf space by finding some books I am ready to part with. I have another section (didn't measure it) that is waiting on the last reply from the kids. My arts and crafts space in the basement is starting to take shape, as in, I can see the shape of it and have moved the shelf.

There is an open area on the floor. My next truck will be to sort out the Christmas stuff in that open area and put it away properly - becaus3 that never happened this year and after that the open area will be bigger. But after our trip.

Good afternoon!

Mammogram results were good. About 1/3? (Hard to tell because there was a twin bed frame) of an suv load dropped off, one pair of fat shorts purchased. That is slightly depressing, but I'm gong places now, and can't get through the next two months with two pairs of shorts and even if I start losing weight it will take that long at a healthy pace to get the other ones to fit.

The garden is ready, the barn is not. It's very hot. I'm going to start some wash (so I can pack my new shorts) and work in the basement a little before I finish getting ready for tomorrow.

Good morning!

Lila, I'm so happy your closet is done!

I like seeing how many things you have let go too, but for me, it is important to not make a list. I need to let them go and forget about them.

I have a full day today, trying to get my place ready to hand over to the farm sitter, my mammogram, and dropping my load off at the thrift store. It is possible I might not go in and shop.

Yesterday Dh told me that if he retires, I might have to quit working in two years due to the ACA cliff. There is a patch that ends in 2025, and if Congress doesn't extend it (which would likely require the democrats to take both houses and the presidency) my income will put us in a category where our premium increases by more than my income.

Also yesterday a coworker contacted me to ask if we could set up a time to discuss curriculum and planning - he is taking over a class I taught last year.

I don't know which conversation caused me to dream about school again last night, but it was not a fun dream. Things were in chaos and students wouldn't listen to me.

I really like my job. I have told kids in the past that I would teach for free if I didn't have to write evaluations or ever talk to their parents (an6 parents, not specific parents). Wonder if I could negotiate that?

Ok, off to be functional. Will check back later.

I pulled everything off that top shelf in the hall closet, dusted it and all the bottles, threw out 6 items and put the rest back neatly. Now that closet is totally done.

I find it very encouraging to go on the Daily Tally thread and read back all the items that have left my home. I imagine them all piled in a heap. Thinking of ALL that stuff being out of my home is very motivating!!

good morning all! So nice to read all the new posts today. Re: minky - I used liquid "baby" laundry detergent, but just a little bit, and hand washed in the sink. Then hung to try. Maybe a slight tumble afterwards to soften it up... like 5 min on low.

I feel very good about the declutter. I am lower energy this morning, so drinking caffeine and thinking about doing that top shelf in the closet so it is all done.

I am supposed to be working from home but bah, don't wanna. Will make some calls soon. I had my granddaughters for a couple hours yesterday and the day before and that was so nice. But toys on every table in the living room. Thinking about a new storing solution for them aside from just toybox and coffee table. But won't buy anything new for that.

Will check back in!

Good morning, everyone!

Have a great day with Bean, SubC! I thought about taking time off and determined it's best if I work. I'll go in tomorrow and Wednesday, to keep myself occupied. BF took the lamp today, so it's out of the house.

Cm I'd use any type of detergent as long as it has no softeners in it. No Downey. be careful to use only the smallest amount. Only a quarter of what you'd usually use and do not put in the dryer. If your machine has a delicate cycle, use that with an extra rinse. Cold water only and hang to dry. You won't need to buy anything new provided you have powder or liquid with zero softeners.

Lila, checking in to see how you are feeling after all that work! Mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Good evening.

CM, doesn't the blanket have washing instructions?

Tatoulia, can you take some time off this week?

I got the larger of the two "wash and recycle" items washed, finished making and setting up my tomato cages, and washed 5 feed bags to use for sorting out my next round of recycling. Those last two tidied up the barn a scootch.

Worked a little more in the basement also.

My donation run is Tuesday. I keep Bean tomorrow - we're going to the library and probably feed store. We picked blackberries tonight and he ate all he could hold but is still excited about blackberries for breakfast tomorrow.