This morning (after coffee and breakfast with Dh) I did what is becoming my regular morning routine -

Empty recycling drying rack and regular dish drainer.

Move recycling rack to floor

Empty dishwasher.

chores - including washing the eggs from last night. At some point I would like to have space and energy to wash the eggs when I bring them in. But the recycling drying rack is in my way.

Start a load of laundry.

Put the recycling rack back and fill it.

Putter around the house/basement cleaning up.

Switch over laundry.

I did not want to deal with the recycling. But I told myself "that is fine. You do not have to process all this recycling. You can just stuff it into some plastic grocery bags and throw it in a garbage can. But those are your choices". So I filled the rack.

I am finding some of it doesn't have to be rinsed, just sorted. So I am hopeful that the whole pile will be done before the drop on the 5th.

If it isn't, I might put the rest in the garbage.

Good morning!

Lila, I was - swimming (well, actually when you asked I think I was sleeping.)

I went for a dip in the pond yesterday afternoon. It's on my "do more" list.

It sounds like you had a lovely time with tot. That's far more important than sorting toys.

I'm sorry about your bills. You've been doing better about the fast food too. Have you looked at your budget to see if the gap is bridgable? Can your son help out more?

Tatoulia, I'm glad Emiko will be there. You don't have to tread water. You are in the shallows anyway. Maybe just float for a while. But no shopping. If you are tempted to turn to shopping when you are sad come tell us about it.

CM, I am sorry for all of the sadness and stress. And that heat sounds awful! I hope that your roomate gets some good answers.

I also cheer the boundary setting!

I did not get any pottery made yesterday. I did putter about in the studio a bit, but it is just so overwhelming. Part of the problem is that I want different clay for my current project and everything is such a mess I am having trouble finding and identifying my clay. You would think that something that comes in boxes the size of a cement block would be hard to lose. I might buy more clay tonight. I am not to buy anything else no matter how on sale it is and how much I love it until I get this studio under control. Please remind me.

I have class tonight, so I will try to take the recycling and drop that off at least. I have four full paper bags and a bit for curbside. In only a week. This represents cleaning out, not just weekly paper and packaging.

I'm so sorry about your bills, Lila. I'm glad you reached out for help. Cm, I'm proud of your boundary setting. I'm sorry for the losses you are experiencing.

Thank you all for your support.

Tatoulia, I'm glad you have a good visit with your mom. You will feel a bit better after the cleaners come, I imagine.

SubC where are youuu?

I went out to get the mail a bit ago and thought, "why do I always feel like I am walking through molasses?" I wish I knew.

I did manage to wash out the inner trash can in the bath tub, dried it and put it back in the kitchen. I also took out 2 small bags of trash.

Tot and I did not sort toys. But we did have fun. We went to a farm stand and got a watermelon and some corn. We each got a scoop of homemade ice cream, which was delicious. We ran errands. When I got home I was too tired to sort, and she played for a bit and before you know it her mom came to get her. So it was a good day.

I feel down because I am way behind on my bills. I feel like it happened all of a sudden, but it really didn't. I had to ask my church for help because my power was going to be shut off. I feel terribly embarrassed, or maybe humbled, by this and never want to have that happen again. I guess I really do need to sell my house.

This week has been "high maintenance" as weeks go.

I haven't done much ordinary activity such as decluttering. There have been deaths or people close to death - the funeral of my friend's brother was Monday though I was not able to attend. Then my roommate's uncle died that evening and she will go out of town tomorrow morning, stay two nights, return on Saturday. She won't take the dog with her because of a family member's allergies so I'll have him too. It's 100 degree or more days with heat indexes above that. Another friend has a son who is dying and I am praying for him and her.

This was the week the rabbit shelter had at one point assumed I would just be willing to help out all week on short notice and I set that boundary. Good thing I did because even if I wanted to I wouldn't have been able to manage two places under the circumstances. Other people have stepped up to the plate, too, which I am thankful for on behalf of the lady who needs their help and also because it vindicates my need for the boundary. I've been able to help her a little bit yesterday, roommate and I both did some computer work and I fed a few rabbits - that was fine, we were happy to do it.

But roommate is also still in a lot of pain, and though she has a newer medicine this trip is going to be a lot for her. She wants to do it though. She will have an MRI next week. I'd thought for a long time her doctor wasn't being investigative enough about the source of her pain. So I'm glad - now just hoping it will all bring options for relief.

Yesterday when we were going to the rabbit house, I opted to turn off a main street into this quiet neighborhood by the river with nice houses and shade trees. I saw cop cars a block or two away at an intersection. Then down another block, more of them. Next block, same, along with EMS vehicles. When we got across town and on our phones we found out there had been a double murder and that the suspect was in a standoff with the police. I had been a little later getting ready to leave the house than I meant to be, but turned out that was a good thing because that was about the time the guy surrendered to the officers. The street I turned down was parallel and two blocks to the street where the trouble took place.

So there's just been too much stuff going on. Too much. I hope I do okay with running the house until Saturday; I guess I'll just have to. Maybe I can do some more on my writing. I also got a text that the senior center folks are going to the movies tomorrow afternoon so I may even go with them and see the Barbie movie to get my mind off all the crazy and sad stuff. Pray for me, y'all. On Sunday I will probably crash and take a long nap. Don't know when the heat wave will break, doesn't look like anytime soon.

Tatoulia, I hope you will be okay, and I'm glad you have your friend; girlfriends can help a lot with the sort of thing you face. SubC and Lila, I know you are staying busy and accomplishing things and also dealing with various stresses. Hoping for peace for all, and achievement of our various goals even if there are delays and bumps in the road. Take care.

Hello everyone!

I took my recycling out this AM and.I returned the sneakers on my way home tonight. I did not want to visit my mom tonight, but I did and I'm glad I did. Busy day at work and yet nothing was accomplished.

My friend Emiko is coming over Sunday night with dinner. Bf is definitely leaving Sunday am. I'm sad but okay.

My house is a terrible mess. Cleaners come tmr instead of today b

Keep up the good work. You are doing a very good job. I'm not even treading water. But I'll get there.

Good morning friends. Nice to see posts this morning. I am home and will go get Tot in about 2 hours. Just enjoying the peace a bit. I was going to work from home but I just need a break.

I was taking out the kitchen trash this morning and realized halfway out the door that the side of the bag was ripped open. I managed to get it to the bin but had to go back and pick up trash and ham and noodles off the sidewalk and stairs, ugh. Then noticed someone had put an egg shell in the can with no bag and that was gross. So the inside of the trash can is in the bathtub. I sprayed it with disinfectant awhile ago and I need to go in there and wash it out.

While Tot is here, I will have her help me sort the toys and vacuum. The living room is in dire need of organization and cleaning. My dog is getting things starting by chasing flies. He is funny, running around snapping his teeth until he catches them.

Cleaning up, watching decluttering videos, trying to shift out to the pottery studio and actually make some stuff - I get in a groove and it be comes a rut and then I can't get out until I crash and burn, but there are some pottery projects I really do want to get done today. It's just the shifting..

I ordered a tension rod to hang Bean's tractor flag. Actually I ordered two because the size I wanted was the same price for a two pack delivered from Amazon tomorrow as a single delivered on Tuesday. I have I-beams on the inside of my basement walls, and i thought I might use the second one to go between two of them and hang a kite to make it look nicer. (Also, storage solution for the kite.)

I have already found two items to discard as balance.

How is everybody else doing today? CM?

Good morning!

Tatoulia, some seasons are hard. Be gentle with yourself. But yes, return the sneakers!

Lila, sadly I am not free of old lotions, etc. I have more in the vanity and in two other bathrooms.

I've been getting a slow start today. Still a little tired and sore from weight, age, and the work I've been doing.

Still, carrying on. Dh was very complimentary this morning, but he also gave me some small, garage related asks, so I will try to work on those.

Thanks for the encouragement. It helps. Normally these are things I do without a thought. Right now everything is really tough for me. OMG I had to leave my car at BF's once again because there were downpours and I am not comfortable driving.

I'm good at his house. Not sad at all. I just lie on the air mattress that he purchased for this interim period.

My house is a mess and tmr my goal is to take the sneakers back to Macys. I had two pair sent here. They hurt my feet. I did find a good pair this weekend so I'm happy with those. They are sturdy and comfortable.

Wow, SubC, you did a LOT! And it made me smile that you did the old lotions, etc, which I did recently too. There is something satisfying about being free from the old, separated stuff. Tatoulia, you too are doing a wonderful job. And spending some nice time with BF too.

I worked my brains out and now I have this evening to chill a bit. I've been just cleaning up the mess in the kitchen and trying to be thankful they are there and eating.

Tomorrow I work and then have Tot for a few hours. I think I will take her to get some watermelon and corn at the farm stand. She will like that, and they have homemade ice cream too. Sounds like just the thing for a grandma/Tot day.

Ok. I did my chores.
I put the Feed away.
I washed 7 feed bags (they are hanging on the clothes line)
All the laundry is either dry or hanging.

All I have to do before I go to bed is set up the coffee.

It has been a full day.

Thanks Tatoulia!

Dh is pretty pleased. The floor has been swept, but not scrubbed. It's good enough.

There's a load of laundry in the washer and a load in the dryer and none in the dirty basket. All the clean is put away.

I'm tired and discouraged again and struggling to not eat sugar and carbs. I know it will be better tomorrow, but I'm just worn out right now. And my knees hurt. And I'm tired of my knees hurting.

I did my work thing this morning - forgot to tell everyone. I found a couple of small things for the donation bag.

I need to go unload the feed. I bought six bags of feed. Part of me wants to wash six empty feed bags for reuse or recycling so that I feel like nothing got worse today - only better. The rest of me says "pass." We'll see. Resting on the couch for a bit.

GREAT work, SubC! Wow!

I made my bed, showered, put away juices and waters and cat food, have a big recycling pile ready, and opened one box that BF brought here. I just washed and hung my linen dresses. Now I'm going to BF's house.

I tried in the winter boots I was going to donate and they fit so I will keep them one more season and if I do not wear them next winter off they go.

The unstuffing continues!

This morning I emptied and refilled the drying rack. I got enough stuff cleaned off of my counter - put in the recycling or put away properly - to bring almost all of the stuff that I had stuffed into my laundry room (which is just a wide hallway) out and put it on the counter - I think I might actually be able to clean the laundry room floor by tonight.

I went up into my bathroom and opened a cupboard that has towels, cleaning supplies, and personal care items - including a basket and a child's shoe box full of lotions and shampoos and soaps, mostly in tiny hotel bottles. The basket is about 1.5x the size of the shoebox. There were layers in the basket. I opened everything that wasn't sealed (almost everything) and sniffed it. If it was separated, discolored, dried up, or had a scent I didn't find pleasing (not tolerable, pleasing) I put it in a plastic grocery bag. When I was done, I put the basket - which now has one layer - back and took the EMPTY sturdy shoebox to the basement (I am making a pile of useful empty things in the basement until this job is done)

When I went to get feed and return some library books, I took the plastic bag and I threw it in a sidewalk garbage can. I did not try to wash out and recycle all the little tubes and bottles. I hearby give myself permission to rescue the next broken plastic toy I see on the curb and recycle it.

Good morning!

Took a quick walk down to the basement this morning to reenvision it again. I am hopeful again about setting up areas for Bean and the littles who follow. I'm getting down to it on some of the mess in the space I'm working on. I think I may have to bring the ginormous pile from another spot over to the carpet in order to move some of the items to the area where they are piled, then sort out the new mess before I can start rearranging and setting up.

Meanwhile, the drying rack holds 12-20 pieces of packaging, which take about 24 hours to dry, so if I fill it every day, I probably won't have it all done by the 5th, but I will have made a very large dent.

I absolutely must do my work for school today! And get feed. I'm out of layer pellets.

Back later.

Hi ladies. I read your posts. I'm sorry, Lila. You are working toward a cleaner house and I know you've made a measurable difference. Im excited about new baby!

SubC that is great news about your friend! Yay for a visit and yay to get her things out of your house.

My house is becoming overrun with stuff. I brought a bunch of stuff from BFs today. I went into his place and was fine. I didn't cry. It looks beautiful. There's no furniture left other than an air mattress he purchased for this interim period. He's painted and has a new floor in the kitchen. It looks so nice. I was afraid I'd cry but I didn't. It looks terrific.

We drove home in separate cars since mine was back up at his place. Then we visited mom then went for Thai food. We are using up various gift certificates.

We picked up my prescription and I bought and ate a banana to counteract the sodium in the Thai food. Not entirely sure if that works. But I think it does.

We picked up juices for me at one of those warehouse clubs since he is a member.

I cleaned kitty's box and I'm running the dishwasher. For about two weeks, I wasn't taking care of the dishes at night. I'm back in the swing of things.

I have the garbage out but not all of the recycling. Luckily, I can put the recycling out at any time so it's not imperative like the garbage.

Ending the day here.

I didn't bring anything in but my grandson and a library book. The grandson has gone home.

I did drop what I had to donate (two large shopping bags full and a wine rack) when I returned him.

I did the soap making stuff. I cut it to one box from two, although the one box is more tightly packed, and some of the contents have been put aside as possible pottery molds. The second box was on the floor, so that is away.

Lila, I forgot to say I am excited for your grandbaby!

Lila, I'm sorry teen's words were so mean!

We know how hard you are trying, and I believe that it is better. If this is all teen has known their whole life (those pictures) then it is going to take a lot of time and change for them to see things differently.

Unfortunately you are just going to have to figure out your primary goal for teen in the kitchen and work around that. (It sounds like the ability to prepare their own food trumps cleanliness)

Meanwhile, I hope you can keep working on turning your room into an oasis. And I don't see any problem with adding locks to some other doors if that's an option so your room doesn't have to be a storage room.

When I got rid of my old dishwasher, I kept the bottom rack. It fits the new dishwasher and has a configuration that sometimes works better. Right now it is on the counter serving as a (full) recycling drying rack. Every time I clear a little bit of space on the counter, I go get something else that has been stashed or stuff and put it in that space. I think this is going to work remarkable well. The counter may be the last thing I clear.

I have a really good friend who lives hours away and I haven't seen her in some time. I have two largish items in my basement that belong to her. This morning i called her and asked her about them. She told me to just get rid of one of them, but super exciting - she is going to come visit me next week and take the other one with her!

And, she is the kind of friend I don't have to apologize about the counter to. Actually, I think I am done apologizing about the counter. Apologizing, clearing off in a hurry, explaining.. Well, maybe I'll explain. "Yes. It's a godawful mess isn't it. It's part of my recovery program. Shall we visit in here while I work on it, or would you prefer to go in the other room?"

Ok, Bean has probably fifteen more minutes of nap. Off to make the most of it.

Rinsing the recycling is an accomplishment, SubC! If you have to, just do a few at a time. Rain always makes me tired. Tatoulia, it's good you have things to do and people in your life.

I have a big project/event today that I am directing and I am already tired thinking about it, but I went to bed early and let myself get up late so I will be as perky as possible. I'll be meeting many new contacts for work today and hope to be someone they want to stay in contact with.

I will be work work working from this afternoon until Friday. Another big project/event on Thurs that I am in charge of, and I am trying to take Fri/Sat off. Newest grandbaby will be born anytime in the next 2 weeks, probably, so I need to declutter and prepare the main living area and Tot's guest/play room because I will have Tot and Acorn for a couple days, most likely. I am excited but hope the new baby delays until next week!

One thing - last night as I was once again cleaning up after Teen's mess in the kitchen, I was very exasperated and told them it made me upset that I clean the kitchen, then leave for work or go to bed, and when I come back it is a mess again. They said to me, "your whole house is a **ing mess, so I don't know why it matters."

That hurt, and I don't feel like my whole house is a mess, well, not as bad as it was, and they won't help me... but it hurt. They simply refuse to clean up their messes. Even if I leave it for a week they don't help. Which is why half the kitchen is locked in my bedroom. I put two frying pans in there this morning that Teen dirtied and I washed. It is frustrating. But I try to be supportive and help them and encourage. Nothing changes though.

I like the thought of rinsing the recycling. It's mindless and doesn't require decisions. I'm going to make a bag for goodwill. Stay tuned.

Good morning!

Welcome to "coffee with subc"

I went down in the basement this morning and made a couple of decisions while I was feeling fresh and strong.

I'm starting to feel pretty overwhelmed by the scope of the remaining mess though. Soap making is supposed to be my next category to purge and I couldn't even get it out. Then I looked at beads and despaired. I think I'm on the downswing.

And it's supposed to rain all day today. And I don't get Bean until 11.

I'm trying to tell myself - even on a bad day I can rinse some recycling, right? I've got a couple hundred plastic food packaging items that need to be rinsed for recycling - ideally before august 5. (Honestly, most of them probably don't need to be rinsed. The contents were dry. That is one of the things I need to work through.)

Here is a good thing- Mr kitty's cereal now comes in polypropylene bags instead of multilayer paper and plastic which means I can now recycle them (those do need to be washed out)

I may use those for sorting some of the recycling instead of feed bags - they are smaller. I can still recycle the feed bags.

Tatoulia, I am glad you have people taking care of you. I'm looking forward to hearing about the museum.

Late night edition brought to you by Tatoulia.

We had a very good time at our friends' house last night. Food was terrific and I brought s'mores fixings and we sat around the fire pit. BF got in a quick game of basketball with the kids and then we did a quick dance to a video we enjoy. I because momentarily tearful but pulled it together. It was a beautiful ride home. Country roads and so cool. Truly a lovely night. They had slipped a card into my purse and I finally had the fortitude to open it this AM.

My girlfriend came I've today. We played with the cat then walked down to my favorite hotel and we had brunch. I kept it together pretty well.

I came home, napped, then visited mom. I took my recycling out.

I'll make a list for tmr. I just had a bagel.

I laundered my unmentionables tonight and they are hanging.

I'm showered and have tmr off. Bf and I will get together in the afternoon or earlier. My car is back up at his place so I'll have to bring it home.

I'm making a bag for goodwill. I also have to take something to the post office and I need to get my script from CVS.

I'm doing okay for now. Will go to the museum alone Friday night. I'll feel better if I keep that routine.

Yay for the Lila halftime show!

Dd was impressed with the progress on the basement when they came over tonight. Dsil, who really understands how hard it is was a bit blown away. He came down unexpectedly while dd and I were there and hearing him voice his astonishment was really gratifying. He said "oh wow!" Followed by "there's a carpet down here?! This is great!"

Unfortunately dd was in the basement because she was bringing back another "baby box" of Bean's outgrown things for the "baby library". They have very little storage space and I agreed years ago to keep a rotating stock of things for the kids to pass around until their little ones all outgrew them. Hopefully some of the stuff will find it's way to Wisconsin in November or January.

this interruption to the SubC show is brought to you by Lila!

It is interesting, SubC.I relate to what you said. And I too get in a mood to pull everything out and deal with it, but I would have to take a month off work to do it that way. I did a mini-pull with all the dog drawers and bins. It felt good. Even though it was hard. I need to drop off the bag to the lady I am giving the things to, today. And I relate to the keeping things inside thing, because I used to binge eat to cope with my feelings. I got pretty heavy doing that. I am still overweight but about 50 pounds lighter as I have learned not to binge eat to cope.

Today I worked. I should be working now. I need to go to an event at work in about 3 hours.

I unloaded the dishwasher and wiped down the counters and stove.

Will check in later.

Must be time to run the subc show again.

I finished the candle making stuff. Like the Christmas stuff - not as nice as I would like, but contained and confined to its allotted space.

Quite a bit of it was on the floor when I started, so definitely a good day's work. I vacuumed the carpet again as well. I have to do that after every project because I stir up the dirt in the basement and track things around.

I am setting myself what I think is a reasonable goal to get the floor in this part of the basement cleared off by the end of October.

Bean's family will be here in about an hour, so I need to go pick kholrabi.

Good morning.

Dh has gone to play golf.

The candle making supplies are piled at one side of the carpet zone.

The scullery cabinets are empty. - Counter is a piled up disaster, but the cabinets are empty. A few months ago the counter was a piled up disaster and the cabinets were full. So this is progress.

I am realizing that the stuffing and stashing behavior is really unhealthy. It's the hoarder equivalent of stuffing your feelings and emotions down instead of dealing with them or making changes in your life and relationships.. Because basically that's what this stuff is. Bad feelings, delayed decisions, poor coping skills, disfunctional relationships, unrealistic expectations...

It's better to be messy on the surface and keep working on it than to stuff it away for later and let the stress keep building up until eventually later can't be put off anymore and it all hits you like a (possibly literal) avalanche.

At this moment, I kind of want to go through every room in my house, take everything out and pile it in the middle of the floor, deep clean the closets and cupboards and shelves and drawers and then put back neatly only the things I actually use and need and love. I can't actually do that yet, but it's a pretty cool fantasy.

It has been sunny lately. I have been outside a lot. Sometimes the boarder-line mania is harder to handle than the low grade depression. You can't just sleep and watch videos until it goes away.

Nice work SubC! I am about to vacuum myself, because I don't want the baby to get covered in dog hair.

I found a ham in the freezer and am going to cube it up for a casserole for the family. Teen is being, shall we say, unhelpful. It makes me upset when I clean the kitchen and they go in and leave a mess. But it seems nothing motivates them to clean it up. Which is partly why most of the kitchen things are locked in my bedroom - less things to mess up, break, leave dirty all over the place.

- I cleared off the kitchen table so we can eat there and it only took a few minutes. I washed it off and it is ready.
- I got the vacuum out and plugged it in, picked up stuff off the floor.

They will be here in an hour, so I need to vacuum and then cube the ham. I supposed I need to wash off the counters and stove since Teen left a big mess.

Dd rescheduled for tomorrow because she decided that actually they were too tired from the party.

My Christmas stuff is sorted out and put away. It fits in the space allotted although it would probably fit more easily and attractively if there were 10% less. I pulled about 1/4 of the bows out and put them in a clear plastic bag. They will probably just go to the thrift store because I am not making a special trip anywhere to donate one bag of bows.

My carpet area is clear and vacuumed again.

This happened:

I cleared and vacuumed the carpet.
I got out a project and spread it out all over the carpet.
I finished the project, put it away, and vacuumed the carpet again.

All in the same month.

Next trick - next project in two weeks or less. (Ideally craft stuff because of my drop off appointment in two weeks.)