Good Afternoon Everybody

Hi CriticalMass
Please quit being so critical of yourself.
S%&T like that happens to all of us.
We have so many things running around in our brains that we click on the wrong button or drop beloved glass dishes.
So very sorry you lost everything (((HUG)))
Wish there was some way I could give you a time out, time to rest, relax and reset.

Hi Ellie
Yes! your To-Do list is too long.
Priorities...
What one thing on that list is the top priority?
Then break down that priority into smaller more doable steps.

A good rule to make for the Son's room would be that ALL garbage & food must be gathered up and removed EVERY week.
That dirty clothes must be gathered up and put in the hamper EVERY week.
The food garbage could cause an infestation of bugs and rodents and we don't want that.
I have tried to get Steven to follow this simple rule but his room is disgusting and stinks to high heaven with all the garbage and dirty clothes.
Makes the whole house stink and he gets mice and bugs in there.

Good luck 😉

Hi Tatoulia
Yes, yesterday was good and I would have loved joining you all for lunch. ;D
Good luck spending time with your sister.
Just do not bring up any controversial subjects.
Only small talk about extremely trivial things.
If she brings up something off limits distract her by changing the subject completely around.
Goodbye Summer window plants, thank you.

Covered the dining area window in plastic this morning and the temps inside immediately went up 5 degrees. 63 to 68
Covered the window to my room. Being on the north side of the house in Winter it can develop a sheet of ice inside if not covered.
Next week the night time temps will get down into the teens.
Thinking maybe tomorrow I will detach the hose and insulate the outside faucet.
The Apricot tree is absolutely gorgeous.
All decked out on red, gold, apricot, tangerine leaves.

A lot has been happening, I'm trying to get my bearings.

My roommate felt well enough to go to work today. I was going to try and declutter some in my bedroom. Then I got on my tablet and was trying to free up space, because it was so full it wouldn't even display photos.

So I reset my Google Chrome app to the factory version - and in so doing, lost my bazillion open tabs AND my bookmarks. For some reason I guess I assumed they wouldn't be affected, just the software. Probably dumb of me in retrospect, but software keeps changing and I can't keep track as well as I used to what affects what.

So now I'm dealing with that. I used to be able to keep up by making a monthly list of Links but it's been about a year since I've had things together enough even to do that. I've been doing a lot of research lately, too, and often it's from a link on a page that I go to another page, so only the history and bookmarks would be a record of where I went.

I am just so tired of my life being one stupid foul-up after another as I'm ironically trying to use the talents I do have (such as the writing for which I was researching) to make a better life.

Hi Tillie and Tatoulia and everyone else,

First, let me apologize that some of my replies might miss (or misspell names) from the posts I'm replying to... at least on my browser, the post-message screen makes all the other posts go away and I have a terrible memory. I wish when I'm posting something, I can see the other people's posts at the same time!! 🙂

That said, thank you for the warm welcomes this weekend.

Today is my third day off in a row when I could get out of bed, clean, purge, organize, etc. Saturday and Sunday I did absolutely nothing, except watch hoarding shows and think about what I'd *like* to work on. Today I am hoping to get out of bed and do something.

So in the spirit of naming something I will do today:
* my dishes definitely need doing
* my living/dining/kitchen area need a good vacuuming (got to love how fast 4 pets accumulate floor-fur!!)
* how nice it would be to work on my bathroom today

And lastly... and this one makes me really sad... this past week or two, it is becoming more and more clear to me that my oldest son (age 17) inherited some of my issues, and may have some ones of his own as well. I have come to recognize that his bedroom has long since surpassed "messy teenager room" and I think is early-stage hoarding. So I talked with him last night about the fact that I plan to add, to my to-do list, getting some order back in his room. At least it would get it back to a baseline reasonable situation again, and then I can work with him on skills to maintain it. I don't want to freak him out though, I know I wouldn't love an uninvited clean-out! That said, his own situation is such that there is zero percent chance that he'd be willing to clean it up in partnership with me, and also less than 5% chance that he would be open or interested in taking some skills conversations and try to implement them himself. So either I do it, or it doesn't happen, which is what I've done for about 1-2 years, and its just getting worse and worse every few months. Less clutter, more layers of actual garbage, food, etc., that is very unclean. 🙁

So today's goals: first three bullets, and maybe also try to get into his bedroom while he's at school today.

And of course, I already recognize this is how I get myself in trouble, because that's a long list... would probably occupy me for a week, and I will be so overwhelmed by it that I will spend day 3 also paralyzed by overwhelm, and stay in bed... I know I need to start small, but that's difficult to do in and of itself! LOL... gotta love this journey!!

Tatoulia, I really appreciated you sharing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for the inspiration!!

Tillie! I hope you enjoyed your day off!! I thought if you yesterday while we were dining at the Wayside Inn and so wishing you could be with us.

Good morning everybody! Good to hear from you, SubC!!! Hope the stove is ready to do its job. WELCOME Ellie!!!! So glad to have you here. You'll get suggestions and support and zero judgment. And you can and will do it! I came here probably six years ago and now I live in s clean and clear house, if you can believe it. Not easy. Paperwork my goodness I am buried in paperwork!!!

You are not alone, Ellie. I feel very close to my friends here. I like to reread old posts to get inspiration.

So, yesterday I took mom and a friend for lunch at the Wayside Inn. It was a lovely time. Lunch in honor of mom's upcoming 90th Birthday! Lovely time.

So my sister says she's coming to see mom on Friday (mom's actual birthday) and so I invited her to sleep over on my foldout Friday night. I'm throwing a birthday party for mom (just cake and ice cream) at mom's assisted living (all invited, staff, fellow inmates, some of my friends from work, my BF, etc) So although we don't get along surely one night won't kill us. I've also asked my cleaners to come this week, even though they were just here last week. I'd like thx place to be wiped down and clean before sister gets here. And of course I won't mention having cleaners. Listening to that will be mite than I can bear.

Okay tonight's goal is to dispose of summer plants in my window boxes.

Good Evening Everyone

6:30pm and it's very dark outside.
Tomorrow I will cover the last two windows that need it in plastic.
Even if the afternoons are comfortably warm the house gets cold over night, too cold in the in the morning in here.
The plastic keeps in more of that daytime warmth.

Had a good relaxed day today.
Taking a day off every now & then helps keep me from becoming a drudge.

Good Afternoon Everybody

Hi Subclinical 😀
Have a good time tonight.
GREAT getting the wood stove back and wonderful that extra Son looks like he's doing well.
Very relieved that you are doing better and your busy schedule is smoothing out a little. (((HUG)))
Sounds like your inner squirrel has some yummy things stored away in the pantry.

Hi Ellie
Perfectionism causes a lot of chaos and clutter.
Can't do it perfectly then why do it at all thinking.

OK...
Getting decluttered and organized goes in stages.
Imagine peeling an onion one layer at a time until you get to the tiny heart.
First go through only gets things started.
Every following layer gets you closer and closer to your final goal.

You tackle a small area, make keep/toss/donate or put in a better location in the house.
Move onto another area and do the same.
When you get back to the first areas again you do more decluttering and cleaning.
It's impossible to do it ALL perfectly first go around.
But every time it gets so much better than it was before.

"Good Enough" truly is good enough.
Be kind to yourself, you are only one person and trying to do your best.
Whenever negative voices start criticizing you in your thoughts fight back at them by saying out loud positive things.
For now, "Good Enough" is GOOD ENOUGH!

About sentimental stuff...
if it gives you a bad sad or negative feeling seeing it
then best to let it go.
No need to keep painful things around.

Paperwork is an other whole can of worms.
Lets leave that till later.
First lets work on making the living space a little nicer for now.

For starters let go of any medications or toiletries that have expired.
If a toiletry is something that you are loathe to use, let it go.
Please don't keep nasty things around for
"Justin Case".

Hi Subclinical,

Thank you for the positive encouragement! 🙂

I'm glad that it sounds like you are in the midst of a bit of an upswing.

I relate to your "got rid of this, but accumulated that". It sure seems like all aspects of life offer opportunities to accumulate. I'm always trying to get rid of (this file, that receipt, this expired can of soup, that sample shampoo)... and every time I turn around there's more stuff that creeps right back into my life.

Good to virtually meet you!

Thank you for the warm welcome Tillie!

Yes, I definitely have perfectionism as a contributing characteristic... if I can't do the whole task perfectly and completely, it is darn near impossible for me to consider doing "step 1" of it. I recognize this but have not yet found the magic recipe toward combatting it's paralyzing effect!! Grrrrr....

Over the years of self-treating this disorder, I've figured out lots of facts and info, but haven't yet figured out how to actually successfully conquer it. LOL

So here are some of my top struggles. Any words of wisdom on how to tackle any one (or more) of these are always, always welcome.

#1 - PAPERWORK! This is by far my most difficult, pervasive, and voluminous issue. I have a son with serious medical issues, and I have some of my own. I also am on the back-side of getting out of a marriage with domestic violence. I'm also self-employed. So medical, legal/evidentiary, and financial paperwork just bury me, and it feels so very unsafe and scary to think of not having documents that I might need in these categories. I bought a very good, fast scanner a few years back, with the intention to convert all my paperwork to electronic format, but it would take me 100 years to get it all scanned in. Plus, I started, but couldn't find my "perfect" electronic filing system to ensure I could find all my scanned files once done. So it just sits... in boxes, bins, piles, and about 10 filing cabinets throughout my small apartment.

#2 - memorabilia. I have memory issues (mostly trauma/PTSD related) and getting rid of things that remind me of my life events feels very much like I will permanently lose access to all the memories the items represent.

#3 - medication, bathroom supplies/toiletries, clothing, food, etc. The old "what if I need it?" Single mom, self-employed, with both personal and child medical situations mean finances are always an issue so it's not like I can afford to replace anything that I do eventually need.

Of course, there's more to the list. Those are my top 3 challenges though. What if I need it and can't afford to replace it... I need it to help remember my life events... and if I am going to organize it, it needs to be completely and perfectly organized or it's not worth doing. My guess (from watching the shows) is that these are familiar to many who end up here! 🙂

Hi all

Feeding my inner squirrel this weekend.

One applecake to eat, one in the freezer, three pints of ice cream, about to go pick green tomatoes to make pickles. Dh birthday today so going out tonight.

Doing laundry, cleaning up.

Also reinstalling the wood stove so we can have heat. My extra son came over to help with that - heavy! He looks good. His life has been topsy turvy and is settling down.

Accumulated a souvenir pin since my last visit. Ditched a worn out garter belt.

School is smoothing out a little. I'm a little better too. More sleeping, less crying.

I have another sale Saturday. Busy week, but hope to come back soon.

Hi Ellie! Yes, you can do it!

Welcome Ellie 🙂

Here we post about our struggles, triumphs and goals.
We give each other support and suggestions.

It is very supportive to have a place to come to daily.

Suggestion, take it or leave it... 😉
Maybe you are setting the bar too high and it's intimidating to look at the task you are wanting to do?

Chip out a smaller area to clear or clean.
One drawer instead of every drawer.
Even as small as one square foot of an area to clear.
If we look at EVERYTHING needing done it's just too overwhelming and we tend to freeze.
But we can do just one small thing.

Then when you step back and appreciate that one small area it tends to be very motivating to do just one more tiny little thing.

Clearing out, cleaning and maintaining is a lot of little steps every day.

Good luck & best wishes and please stick around. 😀

Hello all, I just found this site. Been struggling with what I have called my "tendency to hoard" since college years, now in my late 40s and I'm wondering if it's ever a battle I can win.

The ebb and flow of mess is so tiring. I'm sitting here in the middle of 3 days off that I was hoping I'd make into productive days, but that's not happening yet. I just sit here and look at the mess... and sit here... and sit here...

I've been watching reruns of Hoarders today, watched Amazon's Beyond Hoarding. My kids always ask, why do you like watching these shows? I summarize it by "it inspires me to make sure I keep things cleaned up and out". The truth is that I know that I am *always* walking on the edge of letting it get that far (and at certain times I have definitely crossed that edge!), and I'm constantly trying to both inspire myself and keep myself educated on how to address my internal struggles that make my "stuff issues" so hard to deal with on a daily and weekly basis.

I need to use today to get at least something done on my mess, but I can't seem to make it happen. I'm not sure if it's that I don't know where to start, or that I can probably figure that out, but I find it so very aversive to taking that action once I pick the task I decide to start with. Would love to here from anyone...

Is the Sunday night support group helpful?

Good Morning Everyone

Hi CriticalMass

Hi Subclinical
Miss you (((HUG)))

Hi Tatoulia
Wonderful that the workman intrusion resulted in perfect internet!
We have fiber optics and a new box thingie connection on the outside of the house.
We have good reliable & fast internet. When there is a good router inside it's great.

(((HUGS))) for understanding my predicament.

Have a pleasant Sunday out with Mom and Friend. 🙂

Ovens take too long to warm up before they even begin to warm up the leftover food.
Stove tops are instant heat and with a lid on the pan it warms more evenly.
Microwaves are great for some things but they change the texture or consistency of a lot of foods in a bad way.
Over the years people have just gotten used to the blah sogginess.
I was extremely resistant to ever owning a microwave.
Was well into my 30's before I inherited one and started experimenting with it.
Best feature is that in 2 minutes you can have a cup of properly hot water to brew a cup of tea.

Daily use of the lamp especially when the days are darkest.
Here I try to get outside in the sunshine daily for just a little bit.
Having to walk out across the road to get the mail is enough to help my mood.
Even when I have to wear snow boots.

Tillie I thought after I wrote that, of course it's nit just a phone call, since you would've done it by now. With the recent addition of Fios to my house, they gave me all new whosywhatsis and no more spotty internet. And yes, I know that you can't do anything right. Sigh. I remember those days of always being wrong and being told with loud insults and a never-ending lecture that most humiliatingly required me to admit my stupidity. So awful. So sorry.

Jack! Great cat. Wish he belonged to someone I know....

Honestly why didn't I think about hearing on the stove top, I kept picturing it taking forever in the oven (forever equals 30 minutes)

Already late for the lunch I'm taking mom and a friend to today. That sounds about right.

But I did get time in with my therapy lamp.

That sounds like a lovely evening!
Happy you bought tickets before they all sold out.

I think you just didn't want to wash extra dishes, JK 😉
Some things warm up nicer on the stove in a pan with a lid rather than in a microwave.
Left over pizza for example.

Jack is an unaltered tomcat.
Average size for a male cat but a big boy.
Bigger than Scooter, about the same size as Twinkles but Twinkles looks bigger because he has long hair.
Boy cats tend to be larger than girl cats.
Petting Jack feels like luxurious black mink or ermine.

The phone/internet company here is a small thing only local for this county.
They installed the wires to the house but have absolutely nothing to do with whatever is inside the house.
Steven bought the router at the thrift shop, someone else's garbage.
He could very easily buy a fresh new one but he would rather buy another broken POS at the thrift shop.

If I were to buy and install a new one he would pitch a fit, find fault with everything and generally make my life even more miserable than it already is.
You know what I mean. :p

The chili is delicious.
Everything good chili should be.
Plus it warms me up. 🙂

I bet the chili was tasty, Tillie. I'm eating cold meatloaf and corn and potatoes as I don't feel like heating it up. I don't have a microwave.

We had a fun night at the museum of fine arts tonight. They had a reception for the opening of Art of Sncient Nubia and we had a very good time. They had food and an open bar and the exhibit was lovely. It was a ticketed event and it was sold out. I'd bought our tickets a few weeks back. We walked back and it was lovely.

Tillie I always picture Jack as a big black cat. I know you've told us in the past but could you refresh my memory?

Sorry your router/modem isn't working well. Call the internet service provider and ask for a new one. Sometimes that works.

Good Evening Everyone

What a nice way to spend a day!
Laying around in your cat jammies. ;D

The internet thingie would not allow me online ALL afternoon into the evening. >:(

No laptop no Roku.

He keeps saying he will replace the blinky internet thingie but he doesn't.

Washed my clothes and have them drying hanging in my room.
Did some ironing while the clothes were wet.
Ate chili for lunch and dinner.
Watered the garden.
Cloudy & breezy day, very Autumn.
Did a little beading.
Brushed Twinkles and did all the other cat stuff too.
Jack ate a huge breakfast, he was really hungry.

I got up today, had coffee, climbed back into bed, binge watched some TV, got up, made something to eat-turkey meatloaf with corn & potatoes-then more coffee now 5:00 PM and need to shower.

I was basically a cat today. Hung around in my pjs!!!!!!

Good Morning

Will water the garden today but other than that I'm taking the day off.

One big dish in the fridge.
Two one gallon baggies in the freezer.
Kitchen is all clean.
Cat dishes washed too.

Tomorrow is supposed to be about 66 degrees
nice enough to play outside.

Thank you Tatoulia (((HUG)))

Have my big pot on the stove full of chili.
Smells so good in the house now.

Still need to clean the kitchen but it's not bad.

Will be nice having some already made chili in the freezer for later and will be eating chili for the next few days too.

I'm sorry about the sad anniversary, Tillie. Dear little cat. I'm at office, eating my lunch so I thought I'd check in. Sending you much love.

Good Morning

Great day to stay inside and cook.
Sunny and calm but only a high of 60.

Can't believe it's been a year today already since I had to put my Pooh Kitty to sleep.
I miss her so. 🙁

Need to straighten out the fridge.
Just been putting stuff in it with no order making it difficult.

About 4:15pm today I sat at the window for about an hour.
Watching a magnificent Band Tailed Hawk catch and eat a Ring Neck Dove.
She was so big and beautiful.

Good Afternoon Everyone

Hi CriticalMass
Wishing you only good news at the doctor.

WAY TO GO! for setting priorities!
Priority number one is already achieved, kitty could get through and cuddly. ;D

Hi Tatoulia
Cleaning lady is probably a very busy person with lots of demands on her time.
I'm sure she will be there soon as possible.

Have fun freshening up your warmer clothes & such.

Sending Badger to help you tackle those bags of paper in the closet.
He wants a fancy sandwich, or else. ;/

Was fun being blown around with all the leaves and birds in town today.
Large flock of Cow birds almost blew right into me.
The store had fully stocked shelves today.
Bought all the ingredients to make my chili.
Will make a huge pot and freeze a bunch for easy meals.
Stopped by the thrift shop and bought 3 strands of pretty beads.
Rose quartz, peridot, amethyst, quartz crystal.
Met up with a friend and saw her new baby boy, number FIVE, no girls. ;D
Got my shopping all put away except for the chili makins.
Tomorrow I will make the chili and some corn bread.

I haven't heard from my cleaner. I hope she stops by for the clothes.

Good luck with your appointment, CM. I'm glad you are moved back in and that kitty cat found you! Keep remembering your progress as that will give you strength.

Tillie I'll be curious to see how the light box plays out for me. I have a sneaking suspicion it will help me. I'm not in the "can't hurt" category because I truly think this has the potential to help me out.

Thank you for the tip on treating blood stains. Greatly appreciated. I still believe I'll get that tiny stain out. I know if I could hang it on your line, Tillie, that we'd get it out sooner rather than later!

I'm washing up my winter casual jacket and my down vests. They were laundered before I put them away but I do like my laundry nice and fresh. I'm also laundering my winter slippers.

Having the cleaners has been life changing, Tillie. I was living in filth. My laundry was always done and I always had clean sheets, but that's where it started and stopped. Plus I used to have to do my laundry over and over again because it would get mixed with dirty laundry or fall to floor and my floors were filthy. What a giant difference to have a clean house. You taught me early on to fold and put my laundry away. And I've kept up with it.

I have multiple bags of papers squirreled away in my dining room closet. Will tackle one today and by tackle I mean shred. Because we all know there's nothing useful in there.

Quick driveby before getting ready for dr appt

Got myself moved back into bedroom. Exhausting, and there are narrow paths. But as Tatoulia asked, I do think there is some progress in knowing the location of more items. That should speed up sortin, paper purging, and the like.

It's like I still have the mental template of what I started to do earlier in the summer. It's not complete, and adjustments needed to be made in yesterday's urgency. (Roommate still home, thinks it's bronchitis.)

But I have some priorities, some Sort This Box's Contents First, This One Second, etc. Either based on immediacy of said contents to what's happening in real time, or ease of sorting quickly. And other reasons, like "I'm sick of looking at this here pile of stuff!"

On a happier note, kitty buddy knew where to find me and I enjoyed his snuggles in the night.

Good Morning Everyone

What a lovely post Tatoulia 🙂

You sure have changed in many wonderful ways.
Your priorities are making your life and home so much easier, joyful and healthier.
I believe that you have had insightful "self discovery" also along the way that will keep there changes permanent.
Like having cleaning ladies is important for you, keeps you on top of your game.

WAY TO GO! getting all you got done, done!
Wonderful to have a whole new closet to use too.

I have heard of very good results with the lamps for SAD when they are use consistently daily during the Winter.

Next time, before an item is washed
spot clean any blood with cold water.
If the color is fast or light use hydrogen peroxide to get out the blood.
As a surgical assistant I was constantly removing blood from my clothes between patients.
I wore white uniform dresses daily because it made it easier to see and spot clean off the blood. ;p

The wind is blowing and swirling all the Autumn colored leaves around.
Beautiful fall day today.
Good day to go back into town.

Almost noon here. I guess it rained and was windy all night. I slept like a baby. I'm working from home. I used my therapy light while I sipped my coffee.

I'm dressed and doing laundry. I found another dress to give to the cleaning lady and I've washed it and hope it dries by the time she comes by tonight. I also decided to give her a set of sheets I bought and never used. I was dazzled by the price, which stings. They are still in the package. I know why I bought them, I had some kooky idea of using the flat sheet over my blanket. Then I never did it. So goodbye, terrible waste of money.

Windy fall day here. I did open the bedroom window so that the dress will dry faster.

I think I have a nice pretty sugar and creamer to pass along. I love sugar and creamers and yet I don't use them. So off they go.

What are you doing today???!!!??