~Tatoulia, sweet Wonderwoman, i know it must be so hard. You are so amazing. Ive thought about how those years being on the watch out all the time was for me. I hope it gets better soon! You are so strong, but also creative & loving & nurturing & smart & fun! Please remember that?! :D ~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

~♡~Good morning!~♡~
~♡~I hope each of you has a Beautiful & Blissful day!~♡~I feel better today~♡~I hope all of you have Awesome Accomplishments & feel Lots of Love today!~♡~

Anony, I have taken your words to heart. And although it causes me chest pain, I'm trying to reasonably and calmly formulate a plan. I walk a lot, and I keep my wits about me, similarly, when I am on the train or subway, I never look at my phone. I like to people watch, experience life while it's happening, and be aware. Now I'm adding the extra layer of keeping watch for my brother. I appreciate everyone's support and advice and I am going to learn now how to keep myself safe rather than learn the hard(ER) way. Thank you.

I have a tightness in my chest just thinking about him.

I am up very early and need to keep moving--I have a 7:30 breakfast seminar and I have to finish getting ready.

I am exhausted despite going to bed at 7:30 last night.

~Hello, to all!~
Ive been so nervous about taking my cat to the vet & i actually managed to catch him & put him in the carrier, but then he bolted back out. I feel like hes ok, but part of me feels bad that i couldnt do this for my feral kitties when theyve gotten hurt. I dont know how i ever did all the trapping & neutering for all the cats i had years ago. It felt like such a betrayal. It was all my issues wrapoed up into a full year of mutual nightmares for us all. I shouldnt be so upset over this....and my new guy saying how its a waste of money to take him makes no sense to me. A non-animal lover can never understand me......
~♡~I admire all of you so much~♡~My life is so easy compared to what each of you contributes to the world & your loved ones~♡~

May 1st. already!
My, how time does fly...

Hi Subclinical :)
How very nice your DH showed appreciation for what all you did. :D

Hi Tatoulia :)
I'm so excited that you will be seeing a nutritionist!

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Good luck with kitty appointment today (((hugs)))

Weather report says 20% chance of rain but the skies are all cloudless and clear blue.
So, I am doing laundry.
It's chilly, in the 60s, so not too bad. :)
Around noon-ish I'll wash those litter boxes.

~Happy May Day & coffee clinks!~
SubC, i wish i could just put a screen on the vent now, but first i have to take it apart & make sure no nests are inside & check for chewed up wires, and then get it put back together right. I have reiterated to him over & over that safety is my main concern...he just doesnt hear me....or im not paying attention to who he is, like Mayou(sp?) & Tatoulia said...and he works maintaining the washers & dryers at our fancy RV park & they are always broken!
Tatoulia, im so sorry you are going through this. When i was working with battered women, as well as going through it myself, knowing i, or they, had a plan i was somewhat comfortable with, for every possible situation, was the safest & most relaxing approach.
Kitty has an x-ray appointment later today. I feel so sneaky cuz in the past, cats with vet appointments somehow know & hide until the appointment time has past?!! Im afraid to even think about it cuz they must read my thoughts?! I may be being overdoing it with the x-rays, but his feral daughter was attacked by a raccoon & had a badly hurt leg, years ago, and i could not catch her & have always worried it still bothers her from not healing right. He is very tame, so im taking the opportunity that i dont have with the feral cats.
~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

SubC! You had many victories yesterday! Your husband was so sweet and so loving and so supportive. I'm happy for you. He turned an unpleasant encounter into a very positive moment for you!

Tillie I do hope to find two summer skirts to wear. I've lost weight and don't have anything right now. My weight loss is stalled but I start seeing a nutritionist the first week of June so I'm pretty excited. That's something I'm doing for myself. We have five appointments set up to really work on this.

Anony keep us posted on kitty! Right now my little friend is in the bathtub.

Yesterday was hard st the office, both due to going in on a Monday (I sound like a spoiled brat) and from being tired from worry and from being upset. Yet I got a lot done and my assistant booked me a conference room for the afternoon.

I need to get dressed, dry my hair, etc and get ready to do it all over again.

Feeling a bit better today. BF is helping me to put it out of my mind. We grabbed a quick bite to eat last night--he had picked me up at office and on way home there was a parking spot by s little place so we parked. We talked about anything and everything but not brother, so my stomach wasn't upset.

I forgot to list yesterday's small victories.

I remembered to ask for no straw in my drink at the work thing, and I gave a teacher/artist at the commercial studio four big pieces of styrofoam to use for a mold project. I carried them in a slightly tattered big plastic trash bag that I had brought home food bank bread in, and she can use that to cover projects in process.

Anony,

It isn't that hoard to put a screen over your vent. I bet you could do it.

The thing was not too bad.

The 5 hours I stole for myself at the pottery studio was lovely.

I got home just in time to spend 40 minutes with my brother in law. He managed to fit in negative comments on my house, my housekeeping, my stuff, my parenting, and my dinner (the one I was eating - dh cooked for him) I actually like my bil, I don't think he realizes how he comes across to me. He suggested that I just get a dumpster and clear everything out. (actually, he said "you need to just get a dumpster and throw everything out." And I said "No. I don't.") dh defended me mildly - he said things like "we have a different lifestyle" and "we have plenty of storage."

After bil left, I looked at dh and said "I cleaned up for you." And he kissed me on the forehead and said "I know. I appreciate it. It must have taken you hours."

Good Morning :)
"Clink!"

Subclinical :)
That sounds like a good plan, dishes & laundry.
Hope you can eventually relax and enjoy yourself (((hugs)))

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Happy Kitty is on the mend! :D
Rats and mice WILL crawl into any space and chew up everything there.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to become educated as to what to look for and simple things to do to keep the little boogers out.
Even with a new different handyman he may not do the job completely, it's up to you to check these things out so you don't constantly have problems. (((HUGS)))

Hi Tatoulia :)
The Summertime fashions are just now coming into stores so soon you will find the right skirts for you! ;D
You need to find a mantra to repeat to yourself over and over again whenever the thoughts of your brother enter your mind.
Something that will reinforce your inner strength and resolve.
You have done so much for him and yet he has been causing you nothing but stress and pain and worry and humiliation.
It is now time to do this for YOU since he refuses to do what's needed to help himself, IE take his meds.
Who knows, maybe this will be the exact wake up call he needs to get his act together?
Stand strong ((((HUGS))))

Cold, cold, cold day today with a slight chance of rain.
Did rain a little last evening.
Will do laundry later this week, maybe tomorrow when the weather is better.
Dishes are all done.
Need to vacuum & sweep.
Think tomorrow I will empty, scrub, scour & sanitize litter boxes too.
So much easier when I can do that outside.

Very anxious for all the snakes to come out of hibernation.
The garage is literally crawling with mice.
Happens every Winter, then when the snakes wake up all the mice get eaten.
Winter comes and the mouse population explodes again, rinse and repeat...

Quick coffee clink! Already late for work.

SubC sending you strength. Just come here when things get hairy. Anony i too forget Maya Angelou's words, when someone tells you who they are, believe them. I'm glad kitty is doing better.

Tillie thank you for your support and strength. I am picturing your garden and how hard you worked to reclaim the patch of earth.

~☆~Good morning!~☆~ (more like the middle of the night?!)
Tatoulia, im glad you & your Mom had a nice drive & i hope the birthday theater show is spectacular!
SubC, i thought about you as i took a straw wrapper off at a restaurant a few days ago. Its not often i use one-time-use products, but im getting more aware of it now cuz of you! :D
Tillie, my kitty does seem much better now. Thank you for your helpful info!
Yesterday my clothes dyer made a weird noise & i asked my handyman & he said how since theres no screen on the heat vent that animals could have a nest in there or chewed wires up & it could cause a fire. I asked him why he didnt just cover the vent. He said he just keeps taking his apart & cleaning it & TWICE HAS REPLACED THE HEATING ELEMENT. ??? How is that easier than putting a screen over the vent? I desperately need a new handyman that will just fix things the first time. I have trust issues bringing people here, but even tho this handyman wont steal from me or worse, the danger lies in his dangerous non-safety way of thinking?!! Ok...rant over. I do not want to spend my time watching someone tinker with my appliances every few weeks! ....im not sure what to do, except to look for someone else...or at least try....its my own fault. He has not changed, i just havent been listening....

Tatoulia, emotional work is often harder and more exhausting than physical work.

I am bracing myself for this thing today.

I think if I can manage a load of laundry and a load of dishes every day (for the next four days) the house will be ok.

The great room, where dh and his brother will basically hang out, is picked up.

Hello everyone. I fell asleep and am just waking up now. Stress sleeping, I guess.

I only got to see Bf for a few minutes today. I wanted to take him to birthday dinner and he wants to do during the week. He worked a lot this weekend and he just wanted to nap. I understood immediately! So we will find a night this week. I don't push him on the birthday. He has, however, been really enjoying a cake that his nephew sent him. So that's been fun. I left him a card before my trip and I bit him the same theatre tickets every year. It's a series of 7 so that's great fun for us.

I'm stressed over brother. But I'm going back to sleep.

Tillie okay that is my idea of casual clothes too. I am working on it. I need new summer skirts. Even just two to get me through the weekends. I haven't seen anything yet.

Thank you everyone for helping me go beyond just using the recycling bin. I do use cloth napkins at home.

Hi Everybody :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
Very happy that you and Mom got out and had such a nice day! :D
WTG! on doing daily tasks and working on your wardrobe!
Casual clothes to me is just a pair of jeans or slacks with a cute top, moccasins or sandals.
Or a pretty dress, not fancy dress up or a pretty peasant skirt with a cute top.

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Good to hear kitty is using the leg.
Hey, if you need more tumbleweeds I will sent you all that you want! ;D

Hi Subclinical :)
WTG! for all you got done today!
I have never disbudded any animal but I have been involved in rounding up and castrating calves so I know how difficult things can get. (((HUGS)))

For many years (since 1968) I have been keeping track of my disposable waste (carbon footprint).
The one best thing I have going for me is that I go for years without eating out.
When I do get take out it's from places that wrap the food in a paper sheet.
I never get a beverage in a cup, when I do get one it's in a bottle or can that can be recycled.
Usually I take the food home and drink my own tea or whatever I have here.
Except if I get a milkshake, sometimes I really need a milkshake.
At the grocery store I read labels to see what's in the food and where it comes from.
I also take into consideration how it's packaged.
I pass up lots just because it's over packaged.
The butcher shop wraps your meat purchases in brown butcher paper with no Styrofoam tray or plastic wrap.
The local farm produce stands are wonderful but only available seasonally.
The dump transfer station has huge bins where we can drop off all sorts of recyclables for free.
Next door is a metal recycling place that takes all metal and pays you too.
We have no trash service company take our trash away.
Then I look around and see big wheelie trash bins out front of peoples houses long before trash day, over flowing with all sorts of paper & plastic & disposable & recyclable type trash.
By the time trash day rolls around they have one or more extra big trash cans out there filled to over flowing.
These are young people too!
Haven't they heard?
Don't they know??
Don't they care???
What are they teaching their children????

Been cold dark cloudy & drizzly all day.
Looking forward to snuggling in bed with Pooh Kitty even though lately she has been silently passing gas every night. LOL ;D

Tatoulia, i'm Glad you had a good day with your mom. Did you get to see BF?

Thank you for thinking about the planet. It is hard to make changes. Even one small thing at a time helps. I feel very happy and grateful that you care.

Tillie, I don't think I could have done that. I think I would have had to hear what he wanted to say. I would have always wondered.

Anony, I hope your kitty keeps getting better. I've been thinking about her even though I keep forgetting to write.

I got pottery done for my class today, turned over more overgrown strawberry bed (one is finally ready to plant) and disbudded the goat. It was bad, but not as bad as I thought it was going to be - so there's that.

I also picked up a little, did one load of dishes and one load of laundry. Dh is cleaning the cooking sink (the cooking sink is in the new kitchen. We left the sink in the old kitchen, so now it is the "scullery" that sink is full of dirty dishes)

Chores, set up coffee, shower, and maybe a little more laundry and dishes if I find the energy.

Hello everyone! 6 o'clock and I'm back from a nice afternoon with mom. I took her on a long drive to see the flowering trees then we went into an antiques store (bought nothing!) then she sat in the car while I did grocery shopping for her. She has not heard from brother today. I hope she can get some peace.

Tillie I don't know if I will ever have your resolve and confidence but I will try. Anony, again your support and advice are valuable and appreciated. Mom said she'll try to help me stay strong.

Enough of that--I am running my dishwasher and I'm going to read for a while. SubC you have opened my eyes re waste and the planet. I simply cannot believe how much i produce in recycling each week. I need to take a more aware and measured approach when buying things. I shouldn't be one person with so much going in a recycling bin.

I am working more on my wardrobe. Getting stuff out, getting new pieces to blend in with my work clothes. I'm terrible at casual clothes. I don't know how to dress casually but I'm working on it.

~♡~Good morning & coffee clinks!~♡~
Tatoulia, you are such a dear, just please have a possible, 'worst case scenario plan' just in case. Once you have a step by step plan that you have gone over & over first, then relax & think of other things. Also, when i was being terrorized by a bad guy, i did not block his phone number cuz it gave me an early warning, otherwise he showed up here, angry & i wasnt as ready. I dont know if this applies to your situation, but if your behavior changes toward him, he may lash out even more. Ok, i wont preach any more...but i have seen many bad situations & i want you to be safe~♡~
Tillie, i think youre right about my kitty's hurt leg. Id also forgotten i can take him to an emergency clinic for x-rays if necessary, thatd be a longer drive, but without the check point dogs, etc. I think hes ok, i just dont want to not be sure & have it not heal right. He is walking on it more now! ~♡~ :D
SubC, it is quite miraculous & certainly extremely impressive how much you accomplish! With all you do & provide, it would be expected to have a messy house. Im sure your parents will see through that?! ~♡~
Im really enjoying my yard with the spring leaves out & my sprout garden! Having gotten a good start cleaning under this trailer & the fresh sand has made me feel much better! I also noticed some tumbleweeds coming up, which i put in salads & want to make an infusion with this year! Anything that grows on my property that doesnt taste bad & is not poisonous, i eat!!! :D

Hi Tatoulia :)
Good luck with washing & storing the comforter.
Today I am again freezing.
Cold dark cloudy windy day here.
Have a WONDERFUL & carefree day out today! :D

Good Morning Everybody :)
"Clink!"

Hi Anonymoniker :)
(((hugs))) to gimpy kitty ;)

Hi Subclinical :)
I am always amazed by the amount of things you do and I'm very proud of you.
The only way you could do all that and have a picture perfectly clean & tidy house and garden is if we cloned you.
The clone would stay home all the time cleaning and tending to the garden. (((hugs)))

Hi Tatoulia :)
GREAT new plans!
Get your final wished all written out and to the attorney.
Mail or use a currier to get the prescription papers to brother.
Once all that is done you can STOP thinking about any of this unpleasantness.
I understand that this is hard.
I had to do this myself with my brothers and both sisters.
Honestly, it was the best thing I have ever done for myself.
That heavy weight I had carried of always being treated so badly by them was lifted and I have had many stress less and peaceful years since writing them out of my life.
My brother did dare to come by my house several years ago.
I held my hand out in the gesture that means HALT! STOP! right there.
He had been warned and knew better than to set foot onto my property.
He stood out there on the road, begging and pleading I guess by his gestures.
He was too far away for me to hear anything he may be saying.
I stood inside my doorway watching, waiting for him to go away.
I could see he was crying and after about half an hour he did finally walk away, back out of my life again.
We owe it to ourselves to not allow people in our lives that treat us badly, even if they are blood relations.
People say that blood is thicker than water...
I always answer that water is so much easier to clean up when it's spilled.
((((HUGS))))

Quick update--I'm working on my second load of laundry. Going to put clean sheets on my bed. I think we are finally at the point where I should wash my comforter and put away. I'll still have several layers on my bed. And I can add a thin layer too. If I eirkbfrom hime Wednesday I should be able to wash those things.

I changed mom's sheets yesterday so today we can just do fun stuff and groceries.

Good morning--coffee clinks. Thank you all for your support and advice. I read every word and am taking it all seriously. Thank you. I have your words to look back on when I start to feel sad. I was only a little sad last night, and BF was good about it. I will stay strong and take the necessary steps if things continue. He has not called my house. And he's blocked on my cell phone. I have a few other things to write out for him regarding his medical care. I don't think he'll come over here--he has never done so in the past. But I am prepared to not answer the door and call BF for advice.

SubC you have so much going on right now-- I find it terribly difficult to be that busy and be running from place to place. And to have houseguests! I'm glad your mother will be a comfort for you. I am having a busy time too but not like you. Congratulations on your youngest's college graduation. You must be very proud!

I woke up to dirty dishes in the sink, which I haven't done in quite a while. It disgusted me--the dishes not me--and so I felt that was progress. They are now done!

I have a small load of laundry going and I've stripped my bed. I'm taking mom out today and I'll hopefully get some time with BF today. We need to celebrate his birthday! He likes his birthdays very low key and I have learned to honor that. I get him theatre tickets every year so his gift is easy enough.

So, what are you doing today? I'm having coffee on a rainy Sunday morning!

Chiming in.

For some reason I thought that your brother was not able to physically navigate the world without you. The information in the last few posts is very frightening. It is horrible that our country uses law enforcement to address mental health, but that is what there is, and I hope you will make use of it to keep yourself safe. Get a restraining order, or call the police next time there is a public altercation. If your brother is a decent person when he is on his meds, then he needs to be somewhere where someone can make sure he takes his meds!

If you won't protect yourself for your own sake, do it for your mom. Can you imagine how she would feel to find out that he had harmed you?

I'm going to change the subject now, but your safety is still the most important thing.

My son and dil were here yesterday, but they ended up flying, so his stuff is still here. We will take it at the end of May when we go to visit them.

Today I am going to plant some things and work on my pottery. I also have to disbud a baby goat (remove horns), which is very unpleasant, but necessary.

I am behind on laundry and dishes and house cleaning, and my youngest child graduates from college on Saturday. I drive up straight from work Friday, so I have to be ready by bedtime Thursday night. My parents (and possibly my in laws? They don't communicate.) will be coming here afterwards. My parents are staying for two days, and I honestly can't wait to have mom around to help, but I am embarrassed by the house. I am even more embarrassed to have dad see the garden.

Tomorrow I am not going to the food bank. There is a sort of work thing. It involves lunch, and discussion, and you had to be important at my job to get invited. I was not invited, but my heart daughter was. Then she found out that I was not invited and got very indignant on my behalf and said that I should have been invited. I told her I didn't care that I wasn't invited. Then I got an invitation. I asked her if she did that and she said yes, and I said "great, now I have to figure out how to get out of this." And she started arguing about why it was important to the organization that I be included, and I said "but I don't want to go." And she cried and said that when she accepted she was counting on me being there for support. So I am going. I am also missing most of my class. But dh says it is ok with him if I stay at the pottery studio afterward and miss the surprise visit from my brother in law, who will be coming by my disorderly house for dinner.

"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well."...

Tillie, I loved reading about your garden. And I am excited about anony's Earthbag projects. I kind of want to find one and show up now, just because it sounds so cool!

Anony, good for you for standing up for yourself! He has to want you for who you are, or to heck with him!

Tatoulia, my God, please do 'think about it' enough to have an immediate plan for things to be safe right now & have an 'in case'plan'! I did restraning orders for domestic violence clinics for 4 years as a paralegal & it is seriously scary! Tillie is right!. I had no idea it was this bad with him! I also had a very scary guy terrorize me for 3 years. Please, go the extra steps to be extra safe, for you & your Mom~♡~Im sooo sorry about this happening?~♡~You have done as much as you could~♡~Be safe, sweetie!~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

Tillie Thank you for that very good, sound advice. I've thought about that over the years. I was going over my will with my mother today, telling her about the changes I'm making to it, namely that I'm leaving my house to the BF. She was glad to hear that. I told her my work life insurance names BF as my beneficiary and that I plan to split my retirement funds between the two siblings (a few weeks ago mom had specifically asked that I leave money to my rotten sister and I would do anything for mom). I need to get these plans in place. I've been sorting it through in my mind for a few months now. Mom was very, very pleased that the bulk of my estate will go to BF, as she knows that irrespective of whether I leave him anything, he would still take care of her.

I am concerned that brother will kill me, and this isn't the first time I have been scared. Actually, I had my alarm system put in many years ago when he was scaring me and threatening me. I used to save his phone messages to me on my dictaphone, because a criminal attorney friend had told me that I needed to keep the tapes so that if he were to harm me, the police should know he's disturbed and needs to be in a psychiatric hospital instead of jail. Oomph. I'm tired of this.

Tonight I wrote out the directions for how to get his meds refilled (he's off his psych meds, but he still takes for blood pressure, etc) so that mom can give to him. When he was haranguing her today one of the things he kept asking for was dr's phone number and how to refill his meds. So I did that. I will gather up his paperwork for him too. Food stamps and the like. I keep it all here. I will need to figure out best way as he hasn't been bothering BF yet and I don't want brother to go to mom's. I guess I could mail everything.

Well I will try to keep this out of my mind for now. I am going to office on Monday only because it will help me not think about it.

Happy you are out in public and having a good time too. :)
I used to go down town Detroit with my Granma and it was always a lot of fun.
All the people, restaurants, movie theatres and sooooo many large department stores. ;D

I will do whatever I can to help you stay strong and firm in your convictions.
((((HUGS))))

To anyone reading...
Most women are murdered by someone they know.
They saw the danger signs but never believed it would happen to them.
Domestic abuse women's shelters have resources, information and ways to help anyone being abused.
Most of all, they can give emotional support.
So please call or stop in to one near you if you are in an abusive situation. (((hugs)))

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

After reading my new book, I decided to head downtown to return some clothes. I'm now in subway and it's hopping. Very good musician singing and playing guitar. I'm enjoying it
BF is working. I'll stop by on way home.

I'll need your help. But I think I can stay away this time. It is escalating.

Thank you Tillie.

Much love, Tatoulia

((((HUG)))

Oh Tatoulia
I am so very, very sorry.
Your post has me crying for you.
No, you did not mention the Walmart incident.
Please, please, please
Do NOT allow this abuse to continue.
NOBODY deserves to be treated this way by ANYBODY even if they do have mental issues.
Please, please, please stay away from him and keep him away from you.
Tell your Mom's home EVERYTHING so they can keep her safe from his abuse, physical and emotional.
Since he thinks he is getting away abusing you this way the abuse will only escalate until somehow he is made to face his crimes.
Put yourself FIRST.
You are a beautiful wonderful sister and he has abused the privilege of your company.
If necessary, get a restraining order against him for you and your Mom.
This way the police should respond to any calls faster than when you don't have one.
Please sever all ties to him until/unless he receives treatment and stops the violence.

((((HUGS))))

Hello All! Thank you for your support. Yes I needed to let go of the fleece. I picked it up off the bath room floor and then Just put on the garbage. I had to do it.

Anony kitty is hopefully on the mend. I concur with Dr Tillie that it's a sprain and it will work itself out. I worry re swelling or a hot spot (infection). A limp here, a limp there --generally heal themselves.

Disaster with brother. We got kicked out of restaurant because of his abusive behaviour toward me. A woman with young kids tried to rescue me. She had to leave restaurant because she didn't want her kids exposed to what brother was doing. I left, went to car and gave him his phone, then I went back into restaurant to pay for the woman's lunch as well as to pay for our uneaten, unserved lunch. The woman was really nice and didn't want me to pay for her meal but it was $50 so I really had to. I gave her $60 so I could cover the tip. I apologized to her and her children. She was very supportive of me and asked the waitress to please let me eat my food, that she thought I needed to eat. So they found me a private, hidden table and I ate my lunch. They wouldn't let me pay for my brother's uneaten lunch and they put security at the door to protect me. They also walked me to my car. I told them I could leave my car and take an Uber home/that I would get car tonight when BF free but they got me to the car.

In some ways, it was good. Or okay. It's been escalating (I'm not sure if I told you that security was needed at Walmart last week). He was throwing stuff at me and I was in the check out lane. He was behind me with the cart pushed up against me and I couldn't escape because there was a person with a cart in front of me. And he was throwing his groceries at me. I'm sick of being abused. I'm sick of telling people, he's not my husband he's my brother.

I've blocked him from cell phone. He's been giving my mother chest pains this afternoon. I've asked the people at her assisted living to say she's at hospital so he won't be able to go up.

My mother is supportive. I want to put this out of my mind and shed him. It won't be easy to get rid of him but I must. I am not willing to get a restraining order at this point. I will if he starts coming by. I have an alarm system and i usually have it on anyway, even when I nap. My bedroom windows are not alarmed so I can sleep with them open. I have bars on them.

I'm going to buy myself a new book on my kindle and I'm going to read.

BF is obviously very supportive.

Hi Anonymoniker :)

Yea, putting him in a cage would just cause him to use the limb in spite of it hurting just trying to get out.
There is no need for a cone when the animal is not constantly picking at a wound or might accidentally undo stitches.
If the limb isn't malformed or misaligned
if there is a break then most likely it is just a crack and not bones completely broken apart.
If that's the case it should heal properly even though you have to wait for such a long time.
With a broken bone most animals will refuse to even try using the limb.
Having no swelling is a GOOD sign that it is just muscle strain.
((((HUGS)))) Kitty ;)

Well, so far I haven't really done anything much today.
Just made and ate a really good sandwich. ;D
Maybe I will wash dishes?
Went out and across the road to get the mail, nothing for me, never is anyways & I like it this way. ;P
Too cool and breeze to do stuff outside.

Tillie, i just tried to gently massage his leg, but he made it clear not to touch it. His appointment is in 10 days. I just hope if its a fractured bone that it doesnt start to heal wrong before then. Theres no way im keeping him in a cage or with a cone on his head. He will hurt himself worse with all that. Even just closing the door to the bedroom hes in creates a ridiculous panic! His leg doesnt look swollen or misaligned or anything?
Tatoulia, i hope things go smooth with your brother? Im so sorry you have that difficult situation? You are such an amazing angel! ~♡~

Good morning Everyone :)
"Clink!"

Hi Tatoulia :)
Wishing today you can have a nice peaceful visit with your brother (((HUGS)))
About that fleece...
Left in an airport bathroom, I am really very sure that someone who has no understanding about germs grabbed it up and is so very thrilled to have it now.

It amazes me that in this day & age there are so many people who don't ever seem to care about touching things that are obviously contaminated in some way with bacteria.

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Since this is a desert area, I knew that I would only be able to maintain a small area with plants so I only did a small section of the property right out front on the West side of the house.
It has made a HUGE difference in the amount of sand that blows around here and the plants help keep it cooler inside the house in the Summertime heat.
About the cat...
A sprain takes time to heal so maybe that's what's wrong???
He's now using the injured leg to walk, limp around?
Have you tried doing gentle massage?
If there is no deformity of the limb and he doesn't wince when the area is touched, gentle massage is usually all that's needed.

The last few days the temperatures have reached up into the mid 80s but now they are going down again into highs of 50s.
One night sleeping with just the blanket was good and the next night I woke up having to go get the comforter back on the bed.
Some days I wear Summer dresses & sandals and the next day it's jeans, socks and a flannel shirt.
This is why I can never really put Winter things away. ;P
Plans for today?
I dunno but will find something to do. ;D

....and i want to add that yesterday on the phone my new guy made another comment about my eating in restaurants, and i very vehemently declared again that after my years as ~The Serial Shopper~ that i no longer buy stuff, only experiences, and that is an important path for me right now. And i didnt say this, tho i implied it, that he'd be wise to back off with his attitude towards that! ~☆♡☆~

~♡~Good morning to all!~♡~
Tillie, youve done what i so regret not doing years ago, too. Youve turned your place into as much of an Oasis as possible! That is fantastic! Doing as much as there is potential for, is all you can do! I really wish i had done that. :D
Tatoulia, Welcome Home! Im glad your kitty was happy & ok! I take a charcoal capsule after eating in restaurants. Its kind of a happy compromise of health & entertainment!
My kitty seems to be walking much better today. I have an appointment for an x-ray for him when they had an opening, but if it seems to heal up fast, i wont put him through that. Its so hard to know. And the dog at the border check point can be scary, too!
......this sounds so terrible, but just even working like that for less than a week makes me soooo appreciative of just being at home....

Hello Tillie!

Oh how they carry on whe. They dont have their bedding!

Although I swore I'd take today off and not see brother, I've gone ahead and called him. He's as crazy as ever, and not in a good way. I told him I'd take him to lunch. Hopefully he can keep it together in the restaurant. I'm trying to figure out what to eat as I can't have more salt. I successfully drank only water and tea yesterday and so far only coffee today. They'll probably have a fruit plate.

I have more things I can donate. And I'm happy about that. Just before I left I took a fleece out of a donation bag, figuring I'd wear it and then abandon it in my hotel room. (It was going to be cold where I was traveling). Well, I got to the airport and used the rest room, and the fleece fell on the floor. Of the bathroom. In an airport. So I threw it out in the bathroom garbage. IM SORRY SUBC. I even thought if you as I did it, and felt your (justified) disappointment. So I ended up not having it for my trip. Such is life.

Okay I'm showered so I should get dressed. Have a great day everyone!

Welcome Back Tatoulia :D

Happy to hear Miss Kitty was just fine! ;)
Yes, restaurant food does have way too much salt!
Hope it all flushes out of you ASAP.
Have a wonderful time tonight being back in your own home sleeping in your own bed with your own pillow and Miss Kitty near by. (((hugs)))

Perfect day today to dry overly fuzzy kitty bedding.
Warm & sunny with a brisk breeze to help blow some of the fur away.
Had the clothes line completely filled with kitty stuff.
Unfortunately, all the kitties were not happy having to wait to get their stuff back.
But you can see now how much they appreciate having fresh clean blankies to snuggle with.

Hello hello! I'm back from my trip. Got in after midnight and kitty was in great shape. She seemed to enjoy the break! I'm working from home today which is a little difficult because I am dead tired. I have a haircut tonight so I can't lay down til a bit later.

Tillie hearing about your garden makes me happy. And Anony! You are in a good groove right now!

I overate on my trip. Too much salt in restaurant food. I couldn't get my rings on Thursday am. I have not tried to put them on today. Only drinking water today.

Will write more later.

Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Anonymoniker :)
So many opportunities to learn even more about building alternative housing!
These earth bag homes must be becoming very popular where you live. :D
Enjoy your resting and kitty time. ;D

When I look out my front door/windows I see my flower herb garden to the left of the walkway and to the right is the small square of grass.
To the right of the lawn is a flower bed of wild yellow roses and rhubarb.
Behind all this is now a large wall of purple as the lilac hedge is all in various stages of blooms.
The air is heavy with the scent of lilac and it even gently wanders inside the house.
I planted the lilacs as a wind and dust barrier between the house and the dirt road.
When I first moved into this house the desert winds had blown in so much sand that I did not know there was a cement porch and walkway out there.
The place was just a huge sand dune until I started digging it out.
Then I had to work the sand to make it into soil by adding tons of compost so it would support plant life.
Over the years I have managed to turn it into this tiny green & cool flowering desert oasis. ;D

~☆~Hello, Happy Homemakers & Improvers!~☆~
Tillie, i love the Forget-me-nots for Marty idea! ~♡~Today is the 20 year anniversary of when my cat, Cleopatra showed up. She had a tragic ending that im still deeply traumatized over....♡
A new building workshop was announced for next week, so ill get to learn some new techniques for plastering, poured earthen floors, paper crete & paper adobe! YEA!!! And the project ive been helping with is taking time off, so i wont be missing anything there & ill get to rest & watch after my kitties! ~♡~

Good Morning Anybody ;)

Going to be another warm sunny day today with possible thunder storms in the near future.
Debating about doing some laundry since the other day the neighbor burned leaves & weeds & etc. all day long and I worry that he will continue doing that.
Not a pleasant scent to have on the laundry. :(
Going outside after I finish my tea "Clink!" and water some things.
I planted "Bee Balm" in front of the house in a place where it would get morning sun & afternoon shade but it has migrated to the spot that gets sun ALL day long and it gets all wilted by evening.
Too hard to move it since it is now all tangled in with the Grape Hyacinth now.

Hope you are all having a GREAT Thursday. ;)

Hello Everybody :)
Cold water "Clink!"

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Happy to hear about all that earth bag building you're learning about!
Yes, your priorities are GREAT!
Spending your money on experiences rather than on things!!! :D

Big problem with those Mylar balloons or any balloons for that matter is creatures EAT them and the material gets all tangled up in their guts, killing them.
Same as that plastic easter basket grass, XMas tree tinsel and plastic shopping bags.

Well I did it...
Went grocery shopping. Made a few other stops since I was in town anyways.
I'm exhausted!
It's also 80 degrees out there now!
Got everything put away but I'm too tired to fix myself something to eat right now.
Once it starts to cool down I will water my garden since I have tiny seedlings sprouting.
Poppies and Forget-me-nots for Marty. ;)

~☆~Good afternoon & ice coffee clinks!!!~☆~
SubC, i LOVE the trash can on wheels idea!!! And what a perfect thing to do for Earh Day week!!!
Tatoulia, i totally agree with your kitty plan!
And im not at all surprised how everyone liked you at the dinner! How could they not? You are amazing!!! I hope your presentation goes well?!! :D
Tillie, it sounds like you are making lots of great improvements, and having fun outside, too! :D
Ive found a lot of those balloons in my woods. Ive found a few that had unusual cards attached & then read about a therapy thing to write a message to a loved one that has passed, or a family member not in touch, etc., and send it up & away...kinda like writing a letter to rip up. ~♡~
Hi, Porter! :D
Hi, CM! :D
Hi, Joan! :D
Hi, Sharon! :D
Hi, whoever i may have forgotten, that im generally afraid to do this cuz i might forget someone & cant add them to my list later?!! ~♡~♡~♡~
Im home today cuz i have a kitty with a hurt leg. I think its just a bad sprain. Since i havent been here much, i bet the bully neighbor kitty is somehow involved?!
Its gotten really hot this week & keeping up with those 20 year olds at the building project has gotten much more challenging! Ive gotten a better idea tho, of how i want to do mine. Some older guys came by yesterday & talked about the one they are building. They had lots of great info & they asked lots of questions, so i followed them around a lot to listen!
My new guy & i bumped heads a bit over some things, one of which was my spending money on nice restaurants. One thing ive gotten clear on after my 'serial shopping' years, is that i want to buy experiences, NOT STUFF! His house is packed with gorgeous things & it is beautiful! I know everyone is in a different place, but i am not gonna feel like its wrong to spend my money that way. That fancy dinner i took my good friend to for her birthday was spectacular & we really enjoyed it! It reminded me of my Dad freaking out over that sort of thing growing up, even though we had plenty of money. He was a surgeon! Im not gonna get mad, but im going to make it VERY CLEAR how i feel.
~♡~Stay cool & comfy, all my happy homeys!!!~♡~

Hello Everyone :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
Relax!
You did all the planning, prepping and work for this trip and there is no reason to fret.
It will all be just fine. (((HUGS)))
WAY TO GO! for two donation bags!

Since it was 50 degrees inside this morning I decided today was a good day to clean & cover the space heaters and store them away until next Autumn.
But I did leave one in here, just in case.
Did a bunch of decluttering too, here & there.
Filled a big garbage can, stuff outside that has outlived it's purpose, too worn out or nasty to donate.
Feels GREAT! :D
Tomorrow I plan to go grocery shopping, been too long since I last went and I sorta miss eating food. ;P

Quick drive by. I leave tomorrow. Thanks for the reassurance on kitty. Tillie, That is a tough decision on Marty's crib. You'll know when it's time.

I got two bags to my car last night--two donation bags. That felt good.

SubC you are opening my eyes on packaging, plastic and waste. Thank you for that.

Anony would love an update! CM don't forget us! Porter have a good day!

Hope I didn't leave anyone out!

I slept with one window open and ceiling fan on. I was freezing. And I loved it!

Hello :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
WAY TO GO!!!
Sounds like you have it all under control,
except for the one over night bag issue.
Yes, go ahead and donate Kitty's unwanted blanket.
I have been seriously considering donating Marty's doll cradle bed since nobody has slept in it since he passed.
If I do, I will donate it to the no-kill animal shelter here.

All my cats have always preferred Pendleton wool blankets & shirts, cashmere sweaters, pashmina shawls and cotton flannel sheets to sleep on. ;P

Have a safe and enjoyable time Tatoulia (((HUGS)))

Hi Subclinical :)
You are lucky to not need to water everything! :D
I have to water the trees until they are big enough to reach down deep enough to get their own water and everything else never goes that deep.
This morning I found a Mylar balloon in my back yard, must be something going around! ;D

All day today I have been busy slowly plodding along getting this place back to acceptable.
Did 3 loads of laundry, vacuumed, swept, did dishes, made spaghetti and washed my hair.
The place is still dusty but it's a lot better in here now.
Plus tomorrow is another day and I can probably get even more done. ;D

All laundry washed and dried. Including cat stuff. I'm giving away her blanket. The one I got her this year didn't do it for her. She had two cat beds and she enjoys those. I'll put down sheets on the couches once I vacuum them. I have to fold the laundry.

I'm trying to get away with just an overnight bag but I'm being thwarted.

I have two bags ready for donation.

Coffee clinks (almost--waiting for the brewing to stop)

SubC, the satisfaction of planting those trees must have been immense. Thank you for planting them. I am envious of you and Tillie with your outdoor space. But in the end, I am a city mouse and I do enjoy our many parks and public spaces.

I am trying to just stay focused and not let the panic set in. So much to do. But again, If I focus I'll get more done. I can do this.

Many thanks for the reassurance of kitty. Luckily she sleeps a good portion of the time. And unlike other cats I've had, when I walk in she will be thrilled. None of that turning her back on me stuff that more confident cats pull off!

Good morning! Clean coffee cup clink!

Tatoulia, I hope you will enjoy your trip. I'm sure Kitty will be fine. (We have always called dry food "kitty cereal" too. That made me smile)

Tillie, one of the advantages of living in a very wet place is not having to water anything most of the time. It's going to rain all day three days this week. During the summer I will probably have to water the three little bushes I planted in the new front yard (when we built the addition, we turned the house 90 degrees) but they are almost on the path between the hose and barn, so I will mostly dump out dirty water buckets on them when I am getting clean water for the goats. Most of the trees and bushes are deep rooted and planned to break open the clay and improve drainage.

I cleaned up some plastic in the yard while we were planting - bits of old drainage pipe and black plastic from the construction project (I tried to clean up at the time, but it is hard to get everything) and a big Mylar balloon someone lost or freed that found it's way into our field.

It will all end up in the landfill, but it exists and so must be somewhere. Hopefully the landfill will keep it out of the water.

The plastic marking tape was upsetting me yesterday. I think I will buy some biodegradable marking tape. It worries me because it says it biodegrades completely in 6-24 months and I need it to last a year, but maybe I can make a habit of taking a "remarking" walk every 3-4 months? I just can't buy any more of this plastic stuff right now.

Wonderful to catch up with you two! :D

Hi Subclinical :)
WAY TO GO!!!
You did so much!
And YEA!!! for clean dishes and clothes too!
Roots, rocks and heavy clay, that's really hard work.
Makes me appreciate all my sand here.
I love your leaf cup design.
Will you also have to haul water around to water the new trees and bushes?
Here I have to attach three hoses together to reach six trees to water them.

Hi Tatoulia :)
There have been times when I have left a cat or cats home alone for 48 hours.
They were always just fine when I got back home.
I like to use my large roasting pan...
Kibble in the lid and water in the base.
I would also leave the bathtub faucet slowly dripping since I had a cat who liked to drink in there.
For Marty I would leave the cover off of the toilet tank since that was his favorite place to drink.
Ms Kitty will be fine! :D
Hope your trip goes smoothly and you have some fun too. ;D

Well, tomorrow I have to do some stuff in here.
The dishes have piled up and there's lots of laundry to do.
The floors are a disgrace and the whole place is thick with dust.
But I have had so much FUN these last two days playing outside. ;P

Hello everyone! Had a nice time with mom today. I took her for a ride then took her to see my brother. I got them each a hot chocolate, which they enjoyed in the car while I did mom's grocery shopping.

I am traveling this week. Kittycat will be alone for about 36-40 hours. I always have two bowls of water and two bowls of cereal out. I'll make a second feeding place with one more of each. I was thinking of asking new neighbor to come in but after thinking about it and talking over with BF, i would only be doing this for my peace of mind and not for kitty. She hides and is a scaredy cat, so that would upset her more. so essentially I'd be making her situation worse, not better. In addition, I'd have to leave my alarm off, which would only cause me further worry. BF said he'd stop in if I want but I think ultimately I'll just leave her be. And try not to worry. When I go away for more than one night, she goes to his house. But that's a whole lotta upset for just one night. The trauma of getting her in the carrier, etc.

I tried not to make the planet a worse place today, SubC. I adore your feed bag idea! . Anony! I am so glad to hear from you! It sounds like you are having a great weekend learning about earth houses and it does sound like you've met a nice man! Keep it up!

Tillie we also had nice weather today. I have windows open and will sleep, for a second night, with my bedroom window open. It will get down to about 40 degrees but I will stay warm under my blankets.

Well I am the spa torture girl here. I haven't done a lot in recent years due to lack of money. I will get my nails done tmr, in anticipation of my trip. I also enjoy reflexology, which I will do a few times a year. BF gave me gift certificates soI likely have enough to do once a month for the rest of the year. I do moisture masks at home but no facials.

I took my recycling out tonight. I can see what I want to do before I leave. I also want to pack maybe tmr. I hAve figured out what to wear so I only need to bring one dress and then change out jewelry/add a scarf to transform the look between dinner the evening I arrive and then next day's presentation. I'm not nervous and hope I continue to be calm. I'm not the best flyer around but I have managed to go to Europe and Asia multiple times.

BF mentioned how much everyone at the dinner the other night liked me. That made me happy. Oh! And in my speech I said, that all my good deeds in life paid off and allowed me to do the specific volunteer work. He said that was really sweet. What he doesn't know is i also tell people that all my good deeds in life paid off and I get to be with him.

Well, everyone, I appreciate your support. I need it so much.