Unloaded the car. 33 tapes. One referenced AMWAY in the title, so that explains that..

Yesterday when I dropped the recycling, there were a lot of cassette tapes in the recycling bin. Cassette tapes don't recycle. I pulled out a bunch that I could reach without climbing the dumpster and tossed them in my car. I didn't count them. I don't know what they are - they have titles and names but don't seem like music - motivational tapes maybe? They are still in their plastic overwrap.

I did not climb the dumpster.

I am feeling physically exhausted and barely getting by. I needed to worm the goats last night - even had Dd lined up to help me, but I simply couldn't. So I will have to do it tonight or tomorrow without help.

I am cleaning out my classroom. I was very proud of myself yesterday - I actually filled half the class wastebasket while cleaning up (many small things, many decisions). I filled the recycling bin twice.

For some reason I feel like I need to take all of my personal stuff home this summer. I hope it is not an omen.

My classroom has 4 "zones" that need to be sorted out and cleaned. Plus a storage closet. Yesterday I did the easiest zone, plus part of the closet and little bits of other areas. Today, with the help of my students I intend to finish the closet and a second zone. I am going to bribe them with donuts and fruit punch.

This too shall pass.

Sending love to my friends.

Good Afternoon Everyone :)
Cranberry juice "Clink!"

Hi Subclinical :)
So true, when we live our lives close to the earth
many times our paths cross with other creatures living their lives.
Hoping keeping the surviving chickens cooped up will solve this issue (((HUGS)))
I know that one way or another
those greens will be put to proper use.
Either you or the chickens will eat them or they will be composted and returned to the earth.

Haven't done squat today...
Extremely depressed for some obscure reason or reasons.
Have some major projects hanging over my head.
Repair the water damaged ceiling in my room.
Ditto for the hallway ceiling.
Completely disassemble the pantry, clean it and put everything back.
Seriously weed and thin out my garden flower/herb bed.
The house could use some cleaning too.
Unfortunately, I just do not care to do anything.
Should cook some food but I don't even want to eat let alone cook anything.
Have no patience for even slight annoyances.
Just keep telling myself that this too shall pass
and soon I should be back to feeling my normal self again. ;)

Another chicken died of her injuries this morning.

16 bags of greens is a lot!

I found my sink, and I dumped four bags of greens into it (it is a big farm sink) and swooshed them around and picked out enough nice ones to fill my spinner. Almost half the greens were left and I scooped those out and fed them to the chickens (nice that the poor, penned chickens have fresh greens!

But I stuffed the other 16 bags into my refrigerators (I have two - a small one in the kitchen and a big one in the basement for milk/eggs/produce waiting to be processed)

I will give more to the chickens and probably eat more, but I want to keep them as fresh as I can as long as possible.

I filled the banana box with recycling, which I will drop off today - so the net volume of stuff in my house remains about the same.

Tillie, that was my thought too - about the fox kits.

We have coyotes, but they don't come close to the house. The cat seems pretty good at taking care of himself.

Usually I just have to worry about raccoons. I have no problem disposing of them, but I would never hurt the fox. The chickens are just going to have to stay penned up. Hopefully she won't break into the barn.

Sometimes when you live in an ecosystem, you become part of it.... i'm Just glad I have only seen one cougar in 21 years here, and it was dead. I don't want to personally become part of the food chain until I am ready for the tiny decomposers.

I am still astonished that Steven managed to bring things back in the full car.

Hi Subclinical :)

So sorry.
Four chickens in one day sounds to me like a fox with a litter of kits to feed.
We have a lot of coyotes and foxes out here and people have to keep their chickens & rabbits in large fort Knox like enclosures all the time.
Cats often disappear too.
WAY TO GO for dinner, shower, hair cut & clean sheets!
Sleep sweetly in a nice clean bed. (((HUG)))

Hi Tatoulia :)
YEA! for your Mom going on a field trip!
Seems the weather this year is making us all keep putting away and having to bring out Winter blankets again & again.
As long as Ms. Kitty has her pod, she will be happy :D

Rain & thunder earlier and now cool kind of chilly little breeze.
Tomorrow I have to clean up and do something with some of the produce he brought me.
I already have 4 tomatoes and he brought me 16 more.
Don't want to make fresh/uncooked salsa with them because I just did that already this week.
Made enough to have it with all my meals for four whole days.
Oh, and I forgot, he also brought me a lightbulb that is also a bug zapper.
My only lamp that it would fit in is my Great, Great Aunt's Tiffany table lamp and no way am I putting that bug zapping lightbulb in that!
"Heavy sigh" ;P

So, the roll call tonight was down two nice hens, one mean hen, and my favorite rooster. It's always possible one is hiding and will come back tomorrow, but unlikely.

If only the fox would stick to groundhogs and rabbits....

I made dinner, I cut dh hair for him, I showered, and I washed the sheets. I need to make The bed so I can sleep in it!

Well that vacation came to an abrupt end, Tillie. I see the consolation prizes aren't as good as the peacefulness of being alone. That's so cute that you sent that poor chicken a hug.

SubC you have so much going on. Do what you can and do it without guilt. If the greens go to the chicjrbs, that is not waste.

I stopped up at mom's for a minute. She actually signed up to go on a field trip and I wanted to make sure she had enough money. Then I walked to grocery store for me then I came home and showered and washed my hair. I was feeling grubby all day.

Garbage out and cat box clean but that only counts as maintenance. Ditto with the laundry. Except I washed a winter blanket and put it away. I had done that once already but then needed to use it.

My dear little one is sound asleep next to me. In her little bed. I have it on the couch. Eventually I'll wash it and put it away til winter. She still has her pod to sleep in or even on.

Hi Subclinical :)

Good luck filling your salad spinner with crispy greens.
So sorry about the chicken (((hugs chicken)))
WTG! for all that multi-tasking you are doing there!
Also, good luck with the cantaloupes.
Hoping somebody gifts you with a tomato plant or two.
Nothing like a garden fresh tomato. ;D

Well... :(
Steven came home about an hour ago.
My vacation is over.
Storm rolling in now with lots of loud booming thunder.
He brought me some garden decorations.
Solar powered humming bird & a butterfly & a little windmill thingie that spins in the wind and a set of 4 highlighting solar lights.
Also veggies and nuts and a corned beef brisket.
OK, whatever.
He said he will take the car again tomorrow and fill the gas tank.
I always insist that the tank never be below 1/2 full in case an emergency trip into Reno becomes necessary.
Reno is where the real hospital is located
not like the deadly crummy county hospital here.

Tillie, your yard does sound lovely.

Tatoulia, I am so glad you managed to avoid the conflict!

This morning I came home from the food bank with one big banana box of fruit and vegetables. I put a few things in the fridge (I am making stir fry tonight) ate two pears for a snack, and took the worst to the chickens.

I still have 16 bags of various greens that are starting to go by. I want to dump them out in the sink, rinse them, and fill my salad spinner with good greens.

First I have to find the sink.

I unstacked the banana box, started the laundry and spent three hours working in the scullery on dishes, recycling, and trash with breaks to switch laundry. The lid of the banana box is almost full of recycling and I put a little bit of trash into the bag.

The greens are only going to get less pleasant, so I have resolved that any that are not processed when I have to leave for work tomorrow go to the chickens.

....and I just had to chase a fox out of my yard. I don't know if it forgot that it is not supposed to eat my chickens or if this is a new fix. But based on the pile of feathers behind the barn i'm Going to be short one New Hampshire red at bedtime.

In other news, Jim at the food bank gave me four little cantaloupe plants. I have managed to plant exactly nothing in my garden so far, but I got out the hoe, cleared a bed of knee high weeds, and planted them. So, maybe I will have cantaloupes.

Hi Tatoulia :)
YEA!!! for a clean bill of health for the car! ;D
When Steven gets back I am planning on having him get the car in for an oil change, it's time.
Just a suggestion...
You and BF think up secret "code words" so he can let you know when he's not able to speak freely.
Something like "let me think" or "just a second".

Off & on again sprinkles with lots of sunshine in between.
The cats are still acting jumpy, grouchy & stupid today even though there has been no thunder claps.
Been just hanging out and enjoying all my vacation time.
Have not had any guilt thinking that I should do something constructive around here with my time. ;D

Oh Tillie the trees and flowers all sound so beautiful. I can picture the colors vividly, thanks to your wonderful description.

Just picked up car. So now it's inspected, it has new wiper blades and has had an oil change. Battery tested fine and he saw no issues with the starter. So I'm good to go!

On the way back I called BF to see if I could swap out the car keys as I had taken the neighbor's set instead of my own. When I called him he sounded strange so I was able to figure out that my male sibling was there. So I walked home the long way.

Now back to work!

Good Morning Everyone :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
WAY TO GO! getting the car in for service!
YEA!!! for no humidity!!! ;D
Thanks for the movie recommendation.
That's the danger of napping, ending up awake in the wee hours of the night.

Hi Subclinical :)
WAY TO GO! for BETTER!
That's what it's all about.
We live in our homes, we have plans and do things there.
LIFE HAPPENS...
All our homes get messy and dirty
then we do things to make them better
rinse and repeat...

Shortly before midnight it began to rain
with loud crashing booms of thunder right overhead.
ALL the cats were freaked out.
I kept calmly telling them that the thunder would never hurt them.
It's the lightning that causes the thunder when it breaks the sound barrier that would kill them all.
Anyways, I could have slept peacefully through the storm all night long except for the four cats
keeping me awake with their worries.
So I'm sleepy today. ;O yawn
The Russian olive tree is blooming and the smell is sweet and heavy.
The Honeysuckle has begun to bloom, the lovely scent of warm Summer days & nights.
The wild yellow roses are still blooming, the deep red rose bush too.
Iris and Daisies and these purple flowers that I don't know the name of.
The huge Cedar tree right out front has a nest of tiny "peeping" babies that I can hear from the dining room window.
High probability of more rain light showers today.
The cat mint (catnip) is taking over, growing fast & furious.
I keep pulling lots of it out but it just keeps on multiplying and growing tall huge monster plants.
The cats are happy ;P

Ok I took car in. He just replaced the windshield wipers and he's doing the inspection and oil change. He's going to test the battery for me. It started ok for him but I had a problem this AM. And the woman who uses my car to get her son to & from school also mentioned a problem. Hopefully easily solved and without too much $$.

It's a beautiful day here. I have windows open as there's no humidity. I'm working away and just put a laundry in.

The cleaning lady at my mother's assisted living has left. I will have to start doing the car box for mom as I don't think it's realistic to expect the new person to do that.

Sibling is supposedly seeing BF today. It's a nice day out. I'll gave to be careful when I park my car in the garage and where I walk as I don't want to run into him. I'm enjoying my peace too much!

WTG SubC for making so many areas better!!! Great work!

Well I did nothing to make my space better yesterday. I slept. And slept and slept. And I'm glad. Now today is in front of me! Let's do this!

The dishes are better. The laundry is better. The barn is better. None are "done" or even "good" but better. I am sore.

Today I go back to the food bank. I still have one big bag of bread.

Yesterday I used some of the stored cardboard under the used stall bedding in a garden area I am sheet mulching this year. I also put some paper in the recycling. Since I didn't go anywhere, I didn't bring anything home.

But Dd went shopping, and she bought meat in a styrofoam try. I need to ask her not to do that.

Tillie I watched a movie on Netflix recently, which I found to be entertaining. It's called Founder and is the story of McDonald's. Very well acted.

It's 3 AM and I'm up because I never really woke up after my nap. These things happen. A bit of a waste of a Sunday but such is life.

Good Evening Everybody :)

Hi Subclinical :)
WTG! for GREAT animal care (((HUGS)))
You are so right, dish cloths/towels or a rag work fine to clean up spills.
That would be wonderful, starting a class/club where the students could learn better ways to treat our planet. :D
Together you could all research even better ways.

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Listen to Subclinical and Tatoulia...
accept the payment!

Hi Tatoulia :)
Looks like you have already mastered the new phone buttons ;D
WTG! for that nap!
Hope that humidity isn't too bad (((hugs)))

Well, I washed the dishes
wasn't going to but they were starting to bug me.
Made and ate a large salad before dish washing.
Rain clouds are building up right now.
Been watching "13 reasons why" on Netflix and I do NOT recommend it.
Thumb down, just my personal opinion.
Now I am looking forward to a shower and bed time but it's only 5:15pm right now, better wait until at least 6pm. ;)

~☆♡☆~Ice water clinks!~☆♡☆~
Tatoulia, your bf just got even more perfect from that story! :D
I keep starting to text the catlady job boss & stopping myself from saying ill just volunteer. I know they have enormous overhead with all those animals, but that is their choice. Just the chicken food budget for a month is my 3 month budget for everything! I just need to take time to figure out a good arrangement & she is a Saint, and i dont use that term loosely, so im sure she will be fair. I have been overly grateful to those who helped me when i was in desperate need years ago, cuz id never had help before. There have been a few that milked me for endless favors from my expressing how grateful i was. I think my blood family & a few long time 'friends' turning their back on me through so much is part of that appreciation. She saved my cats & i love her for that. ~♡~

Sub C I'm sorry I got the graduations confused! I to remember you just lived through the stress of maybe extra houseguests. I'm sorry about that and I thank you for taking it all in good stride! The compost pile is so important! And so satisfying.

Anony I am with SubC, keep this as a paying job. It will help you down the road. If at some point you need her help, then you pay her or you say, could I work the next XX days for free in exchange.

Anony the BF isn't perfect (I've heard I'm not either but that's an ugly rumor) but I enjoy our relationship. He is extremely kind and smart and funny. That's all I need. Before we ever dated, and I hesitate to tell you this, he sent me fifty red roses to my office for my birthday. Now I don't know there were fifty, but the other people took an interest in the number and counted them. And before I read the card (not sure who has sent them but I could think of a few that I didn't want to see their names in the card). Anywho before I read the card I grabbed my best friend at work (and in real life) and I opened the card and said, "oooh this pinches my heart" and I explained they were from the man who works near my parking spot. And she asked only one question (based on my history), "would you be embarrassed to be in public with him?" And that was that. Although we didn't go in a date for several weeks. That's a different story. He is lovely. And I know I'm lucky. But I remind myself-and you-that we do not know what the future holds.

After going to mom's I fed the kitty, put on jammies and took a nap. Not a bad afternoon. I put ceiling fan on and keep windows shut to ward off any humidity from entering the house. I need to get up now and look alive!

~☆~Good afternoon & iced cacao coffee clinks!~☆~
I think part of my problem charging money is more than just self-esteem issues, but also the fact that i dont know how to clean like most people, plus im super slow at it! Im so desperate to get unstuck with it that im hoping cleaning other cat messes will somehow help me shift my own. She hasnt been able to find anyone willing to do it cuz it is gross & she knows im ok with it cuz i did it at the vet clinic while they were fixing my cats all those days. She will just do it herself otherwise.
Id been worrying over if my Mom & sister come out, having to deflect the obsessive rants about politics, which i am of the rare people not into all that hate these days. I dont want to bring up politics here cuz im so grateful this is the only place free of it, but i read a great article today about it being more like an obsessive disorder & i realize that can be my reason for not discussing it or defending my views, which would end up being their next reason to hate me. YEA!! (only slight sarcasm) :D ~☆♡☆~

*many things.

Although Dd also finds man things stressful.

Lol, this was actually my students' graduation. That is actually harder for me because I am releasing them out into the world.

Dd graduated and came home to me.

Also, I know that our school is a safe and nurturing place, and there were man things about college that were difficult and stressful for Dd.

Anony, she needs help. You need money. It sounds like it is easier for her to trade you money than time, so go with that.

The school recycles paper.

I have actually been thinking all day about starting a class or club next year to address environmental/consumption issues. The worm composer was actually pretty successful this year - we made about two gallons of finished compost - in spite of low and erratic participation. I would like to build on that.

(And I convinced one parent to start a compost pile at home)

~♡~Good morning & coffee clinks!~♡~
SubC, i wonder if maybe a possible school project could be to save the used paper, one-time-use type stuff & use it in a mix to build something with? Even just a bench or something simple, that would be a way to re-use the paper waste & teach kids about new building options, too? The method we learned with paper, was shredded documents, but i bet you could get good results with paper that doesnt have the plastic coating in it, like the banking papers do? Just a thought! :D
Tatoulia, its funny how your phone battery & your car battery both went at the same time?! And aside from your very much deserved peace, your brother may very well grow in ways he did not before. I think it will absolutely benefit him, too! And your bf still sounds like a perfect prince or something to me every time you mention him! :D
Tillie, i hope youre enjoying your time with just the kitties?! I know what you mean about 'Marty not helping too much' The hardest thing about this catlady job is the cats all jumping on top of everything i try to clean or move or fix or set anything down. It makes the job way harder, but also sooo fun!!! =^-^= :D
This new center im working at is so wonderful! Im so glad to be involved with it. Im having a hard time charging her for the work. Part of me just wants to volunteer, but i really need to earn money? Part of me wants to just barter for the option to have her feed my cats if i go away & if/when my Mom & sister come to visit. Theyd stay in a resort in the city, so id stay there with them. She has offered to do that for me over & over again, but she has so much to do at her farm/center & itd be long drive each way. It takes her 4 hours a day just to feed & water all her animals! Ill figure out something that will work....i hope? :D

Okay the dash is giving my me the question marks. Duly noted. - ?

You are doing great, SubC! I bet that was emotional for you to see your daughter graduate! End of a chapter and on to the next.
Enjoy your day, Tillie! And send the gentler breeze my way. It is very humid here but I did Mom's grocery shopping and changed her bed.
I notice that in one of my posts from the new phone that there are question marks?not sure why. Or what I tried to use/maybe the slash? Time will tell.

Hello all! Cold water clink!

I am cleaning out stalls. I also intend to do dishes and laundry today. My life is in need of more order.

Dh is mowing.

Yesterday at graduation I used and put in the trash can a paper plate, a paper napkin, a little paper flag on a toothpick, a paper cupcake wrapper, and a plastic cup. I stuck my plastic fork in my purse to bring home and wash. None of that was necessary. At home it would have all been compost, burn, or reuse. Graduation was emotional for me, and so I was caught off guard. I need to keep working on making good choices automatic.

Today I am retraining my Dd on the non-use of paper towels. Astonishingly, if you spill a little coffee on the counter - you can wipe it up with a dish cloth!

Good Morning Everyone :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
Oooo! your ice cream sandwiches sound soooo yummy!
Glad you & your friend had this time together.
I didn't watch the wedding but have seen photos of the event.
It was lovely. ;)
YEA! for a new phone!
Hope it's features make it easier for you to use this message board.
Keep up with regularly scheduled maintenance and hopefully your car will continue to run smoothly for many years to come. :)

What am I going to do today???
I know what I am not going to do and that's not clean things or do any unnecessary chores.
It gently rained last night making the evening pleasantly cool and refreshing.
Might rain again today and tomorrow too.
Might do some redecorating/rearranging in the doll house if I can get Scooter to not help me with it.
Finished up eating the food I had prepared so now I need to cook up something else once I decide what I want to eat.
But first I will finish enjoying my morning tea "Clink!"

Good morning! Enjoying a quiet cup of coffee. I think I have my new phone set up. One thing didn't carry over but I think the rest is looking okay.

My car is acting a bit funky?I think I need a new battery?so I won't take mom out today. I'll stop up to see her then I'll walk to grocery store and get whatever she needs. Tomorrow I'll take car to be inspected, I'll get an oil change and I'll have him test the battery. It's been about seven years on the battery. I cannot believe how long I've had this car. It's shocking to me.

I have a lot to do. I'm feeling pretty calm and peaceful. What a difference. Must continue this. Ultimately it's good for sibling too.

So what are you doing today?!?

Oh the Neapolitan ice cream sandwiches are the best, Tillie! At dinner tonight we ordered chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwich es. Warm chocolate chip cookies with vanilla ice cream.

Great day! Watched the wedding and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Then I changed my sheets and did a load of laundry. I had mani/pedi then visited with girlfriend and her kids. My goodness those kids are cute. We hung out with BF for a while then we left for dinner. BF joined us for dinner after his employee got to work, so that was an unexpected treat. We had a very fun time. The kids are so well-behaved. BF treated our dinner! He's always been very dear and very quiet about slipping away to pay the bill.

BF is seeing my sibling tmr afternoon not today. I was confused.

Well I was happy to put my worries and the world on hold today to watch the wedding. My sister was really laying into me about it?when mom called me around noon to say it was about to be re-broadcast, I mentioned about sister and mom said something about my being an only child. That made me happy, as I've long been jealous if only children. We talked about getting up so early back in 1981 when Charles and Diana wed. Mom and I have had some very nice times together.

Tillie I'm glad you found a movie you enjoyed! Netflix is a lifesaver for me too! Can chase away any bad thoughts or feelings. Gives me much comfort to know that mom always has something good to watch. I worry about her loneliness. Then I picture her, sitting in the recliner, wrapped up in a throw she knit herselog, with her little cat sitting right on her lap, and I know they are settled in with a good movie and will be entertained for hours.

Dishes done/laundry done. Going to wash my face and jump into bed. OH! I am writing to you from my new phone. I just set it up tonight! My old phone wasn't keeping a charge.

Good Evening...

Been a peaceful quiet day.
Didn't do much of anything.
Have not seen or spoken to a human all day long
which is not uncommon really.
Looking forward to a quiet and peaceful night
just sorta hanging around with the cats.

P.S I ate TWO Neapolitan flavored ice cream sandwiches for dinner. ;D

Good Morning Everybody :)
"Clink!"

Hi Porter :)

Hi Tatoulia :)
So, did you enjoy watching the wedding? ;D
Hope your plans today with your friend & kids go wonderfully.
You did go above and beyond everything you could do to help sibling.
There comes a point when you must step back and think of your own wellbeing. (((HUGS)))

Hi Subclinical :)
Wishing you great strength for turning a blind eye to other teachers' trash cans. (((HUGS)))
When tempted, just take a mental inventory of what you already have at home.
Have a WONDERFUL time at graduation! ;D

Hi Anonymoniker :)
Happy you are having such fun making your adobe bricks! :D
Whenever Steven has gone away, he has just been happy to be back in his hoard and carries on as usual, no changes whatsoever in his outlook.

Another cloudy day with chances of rain predicted.
I do have the laundry all caught up.
Watched a new movie on Netflix called "Cargo".
It was VERY good.
Not the usual type "pandemic" "zombiesque" "end of the world scenario".
Also, it was filmed in southern Australia so the scenery was awesome.
Cats & I are planning to get outside today, water some bushes & trees.
The rain has been keeping the plants well watered but the things with deeper root systems need deep watering.

~☆~Good morning, all!~☆~
SubC, my best laugh so far this morning was your comment on how youre doing your best to stay away from the other teachers' trash cans! You are so cute! I love your enthusiast commitment!
CM, this may sound like a hoarderish suggestion, but if you cant get much money for your van, maybe you could convert it to something useful?
Tillie, i hope youre enjoying your time to yourself?! I also wonder if Steven will feel a shift from being away, once he returns. That happens to me when ive been away & come back & see my mess.
Tatoulia, im so glad this process with your sibling is happening. I think it will be good for all of you. It is strange the co-worker has gotten mean. Im sorry, that makes things so much more unpleasant.
Porter, i did some adobe test blocks, of combos of dirt, water, sand & straw. I want to do earthbags mainly, but i love the blocks, too! The earthbags are a mix, depending on the dirt i have here, dirt, clay, sand & Portland cememnt. My adobe test blocks are kind of a test on my dirt, too. This method makes so much sense for building! It doesnt take special skills, tools, killing forests, materials from other places, power blades flying around, math equations, etc. One of my favorite things that to me in God/Nature saying, 'This is a building method!', is the way the blocks pull away from the wooden form once they dry. The form can just be lifted right off! The main center for earthbag building is in CA called Cal-earth, if you want to check it out. Thats where the lady who teaches it in my area learned.
The catlady job is going well! This may sound weird, but after seeing how dirty it is, i felt much better about initiating a barter deal with her caring for my cats, if i need to go away. She even said she knows shes bad about keeping stuff & not having things immaculate, etc. I can feel it will help me clean my place, by doing hers. Theres a food bank there today, which im hoping will help lower my food spending costs?! Their center is really exciting! I love being part of it!
I cant believe how many people have wanted to come help build my mudhut(earthbag house). Ive tried for years to get help, with pay, in cleaning my yucky place, but for some reason(sarcasm!), no one was as enthused about doing that, as they seem to be about building the earthbag house...ha ha
~☆♡☆~☆♡☆~☆♡☆~☆♡☆~☆♡☆~

CM, I hope you find a good resolution. The last two cars I drove went for scrap metal.

Tatoulia, I hope you feel better.

Tillie, I am very happy to hear how Steven packed for his trip. If the car is already full, he can't bring back new things! I hope You enjoy your peace and quiet.

I have my morning at home and then I am going to graduation for my students. I am so increadibly proud of this batch, and I will miss them so much!

Next week is the last week of school and we will be doing classroom clean out. Some of us have already started. I am working on staying away from other teachers' trash cans.

I need to spend some time in my studio dealing with things I have brought home.

CM! So good to hear from you. You are doing a good job keeping it together despite these terrible problems with the van. I'm sure you can't wait til these problems are in your rear-view mirror (YOU STARTED THIS).

I know I listed my brother's car on Craigslist as a parts car and it sold immediately. I was able to enlist BF to help meet with the guy so I wasn't alone. You might be able to leave it st mechanic's and part it out from there.

Listen, whatever you do, I believe you will feel a weight off of your shoulders when you are MOVING ON to another vehicle.

Tillie my dear. He took some hoard with him! Oh my.

Sibling has been in touch with my BF and BF is giving him a ride somewhere late tmr afternoon. it's so nice to be free. My grief never leaves but it's a sad situation. And no reason for his mental illness to ruin my life too. I've done what I could for as long as I could.

No cleaning today other than kitty's box and getting garbage and recycling out. And that was early this AM.

Week ended better than it started. And I'm grateful for that.

All I can do is keep praying this never ends. I keep falling in love not just with her , but the path god has put before me.
It's hard at times, but with this companion , no work seems endless . I'm nothing without god.

I fell asleep at my house by accident. I was sleeping in my homemade foam mattress about 7:30 ,
I woke about 2:30 am two hours early for work.
I could smell alcohol , Marcie drinks at night, I didn't know she's alcoholic , but she does drink after 9pm.

I woke up smelling that alcohol like she was sweating it. She got between me and the Wall , spooning me but with her face on my back. I could feel her breathing on my skin.

After about ten minutes , I just began to start whispering a un ceasing prayer thanking god for Marcie being my companion.

But kept being mindful that if it is god that brought us together that I keep vigilant for what his will is an serve god together.
That I'm not sure about yet. Right now I'm fully engaged in bonding with her.
I mean. This woman came and looked for me, miles from her routine. Laid down so quietly that I was unaware of her presence. We spent two hours just whispering to each ear with the windows open , listening to spring. In the city. Chilly , dark, and a bit wet. She put her eye on me hard , and I felt her blink on my cheek. She amazes me.
She's so church girl by day, but so boozy floozy by night.
But the mornings come when we're so alone. No sex, no nothing else. Just lying there together, no mess to go clean, nothing in the house to upset about or ashamed of.
Nothing to do, just filling eachothers senses, with the sounds of sweet whispers, warmth of each others skin, the taste of her lips, the blue in her eyes, and the intoxicating smell of the vodka, .

I don't drink. Can't, doctors orders.
But my mind set is so different now than in years past.
There's nothing she or I need to do when we wake up. Just focus on each other.

I mostly skip cooking in the morning.
I almost always eat grain berry honey nut O's with walnuts and blueberries, strawberries, banana chips, and cherries.
Right out of a baggie.
So I never step foot in the kitchen unless I'm committed to cleaning it before going to bed at night. But that takes time away from bathing each other and other things we do.
Marcie loves that I wash her hair and make her favorite ice cream in a mug. Mudslide in mug.
I can't drink , but oh god her kissing is so intoxicating I simply just don't complain. I'm not perfect either.

So thankful , like I've taken a direct hit from Cupid.

Hi CriticalMass :)
I'm happy you have been doing a LOT of soul searching and have come up with a plan you are willing to undertake.
Sometimes car "junk yards" buy non-running vehicles and sell their parts to customers.
First chance I get that's who I am calling and asking about them possibly taking the derelict vehicles laying around here, and hopefully paying me a tiny pittance too.
Cory Chalmers probably has better info on what we can do with non-functioning vehicles too.
It is sad when something that has been with us through all life's ups & downs is finally laid to rest by the roadside. (((HUGS)))

Hi everyone

Sorry for not much but van saga this whole year, but I think not much longer and the chapter will be closed and a new chapter will begin - and hopefully it will be a better one.

Today I told my mechanic definitively not to do another thing to the old one. Getting it driveable is an exercise in futility and frustration. When he gets it almost done and another thing immediately breaks, and this happens TWICE, I am going to take it as a sign that God is telling me that door must be completely closed before He can open the window to bless me with something better.

And there is a plan afoot (no pun intended) for the something better. That's all I can say at this time. Tomorrow I shift (again no pun intended) my efforts toward cleaning out the old one and finding out how one goes about parting it out instead of selling it as a running vehicle.

Talk about a huge lesson in detachment. I tend to give my cars and computers and things personalities and that's why it's painful; I want to keep them on life support when maybe it's time to pull the plug.

This is a complicated process. But we've turned a corner (what IS it with these driving metaphors?!). I look forward to a time when my brain is not 90% preoccupied with the van and I can string coherent thoughts together.

It is so weird already when I ride places with others - the city changes, buildings are torn down and others go up. I think I may feel like Rip van (!) Winkle waking up the first time I drive around on my own again.

Good Morning :)

Clear skies until late afternoon when there may be some rain.
So, I am doing laundry. :)

He completely filled the car trunk, back seat, passenger seat and all smaller compartments with miscellaneous and assorted "stuff".
For just a few days away he feels the need to take a mobile hoard along with him. ;P HaHaHa

Good Morning Everyone :)
"Clink!"

Hi Tatoulia :)
WTG! buying such pretty tops for your Mom. ;D
That will be enjoyable, spending time with your friend and her precocious children.
Hope your tummy issues are all better now (((hugs)))

Another day with a good chance of rain later this afternoon.
I'm loving all this blessed rain.
Laundry is piling up a bit but that's OK
I'd rather have the rain.

I didn't get any cleaning done today other than laundry. That's okay.

I'm going to go to bed now. I'm tired. I hope my belly ache doesn't return. I bought the tablets and some ginger ale at the grocery store.

I'm getting together with a girlfriend and her two kids this weekend. I think her husband's out of town and she just wants to hang out in the city. She suggested it and I said sure, anytime Saturday (after the royal wedding) will work for me/I no longer see sibling. And she said, I'm sorry. Then she said, that's good?

She has a drug addicted mother and an alcoholic sister. She's had to make a lot of hard choices to keep her family safe. It will be good to see her. We won't be able to talk about any of this (that's okay) since her eldest is brilliant. In fact, last time BF and I had dinner at their house, the five year old was spelling out words as though we wouldn't understand! And he spelled dessert correctly too.

I'll see mom on Sunday.

Ok goodnight dear friends.

Dinner sounds fantastic, Tillie! I'm about to run to store to buy myself something for dinner. I went to visit BF at lunch and I had a ginger ale and some crackers. Feeling much improved.

I'm going to stop by mom's first. I bought her a few casual tops the other day. Something to wear with her summer skirts. One is white cotton and one is a lavender cotton. Very pretty.

Going to run out--feels like rain here too Tillie!

Hi Tatoulia :)

Weather forecast has now changed to 90% chance of rain.
It's very dark & cloudy at 2:00pm and there is now some light wind.

Steven has reality issues too.
Last several years he has started installing cameras and alarms around outside.
There are times he accuses me of things that I didn't do, like one morning he thought I was not home all the night before.
But I was here ALL night long.
He has this fantasy world in his head and I can not convince him otherwise.
He also has conspiracy issues about where he works.
He gets angry at me for imaginary things...

YEA! for clean Kitty sheets! ;D
Bye bye bathrobe, your time has passed.

Took a shower & washed my hair.
Then washed & cut up fresh veggies.
Assembled all the components for bean burritos.
Most all the food I eat is what I learned to make and eat growing up in Southern Arizona.
Heavy on the Mexico influence. :D

Thank you for the advice Tillie. I am still feeling nausea today but not like last night. I hope to do some sort of shopping today and will pick up the bismuth tablets. I too hope that there is a wake up call for sibling. I would like his life to be easier and less angry and even happy. Unfortunately his mental illness, which has greatly morphed over the years, is especially awful right now. There's something that he's hiding from most people right now and while the details aren't important, he has a vastly different understanding of reality right now and his place in it. There are large conspiracies and intrigues etc. very sad. But I am willing to go through the grieving process. I've done it before. We once went three years with no contact and I worried all the time. My mother, the poor thing, had to go it alone with him. Back then he was difficult to get out of bed and he smelled and was unkempt. He lived in squalor. Right now he lives in a beautiful apt and he showers, dresses nicely and is nicely groomed. So I wont have to worry about him. He has good, nice neighbors. So with your help I'll navigate the grief. I can't put it off any longer, can I? I cannot.

So laundry is done. Kitty sheets are done. She's sleeping in her pod so I'm hoping to vacuum the couch before putting down a clean sheet.

I am "decommissioning" a bathrobe. After I washed it I started having second thoughts. It's time.

Enjoy the lush plants and tell Scooter I say hello!!

Good Morning Everybody :)

Hi Subclinical :)
I'm sure you'll do a good job using up all that bread.
Try taking a half day or a whole day off from life
a time to not feel guilty about not doing anything.
You've been extremely busy the last weeks and really need some down time. (((hug)))

Hi Porter :)
Anonymoniker has been very busy learning all about making "Earth Bag" homes.
Now she is learning how to make "Adobe" bricks to make a home with.
I grew up in an adobe brick house and can tell you that the 12 inch wide bricks were excellent insulation against heat & cold.
There was no need whatsoever for any wall insulation between the adobe brick walls and the interior sheetrock.

Hi Tatoulia :)
Sorry that man at work is being mean (((HUGS)))
When stresses make my stomach feel bad, I have found that chewing a bismuth tablet helps settle it down.
Poor Kitty! Wish she didn't get all freaked out by storms. (((HUGS KITTY)))
I am truly hoping that you not being there will be the wake up call sibling needs to straighten up and do the changes that desperately need doing.
Stay strong (((HUGS)))

Another day with 80% chance of rain.
Had some early evening sprinkles yesterday.
All the rain has made the plants all grow big & green & healthy.
Scooter can almost hide completely when he scrunches down in the grass.
Only plan I have for today is to do some food prep.
I bought lots of nice fresh veggies that need to be cleaned & cut up. :)

Hi SubC. Please don't beat yourself up over too much bread. You've been managing really well and this isn't something to feel terrible about. Plus the chickens are really happy.

I'm sorry about the sadness of the breakup. It is very hard to see someone going through a difficult time.

I too had a terrible day yesterday. I saw something on my way to work that made me think of sibling in better times and I cried all day. I just remember him as a little boy and it's so sad to see what had happened. There's nothing to be done about it, I'll just wend my way through the grieving process.
Oh and the person directly above me at work is difficult on a regular basis but he's taken it to a whole new level. He's added a touch of meanness, which I've never seen before. He's tough and picky and inflexible but this meanness is new. Im willing to say that it's his stuff and not mine.

Ok now to figure out what I can do today to make my home nicer. I think I'll start by making a cup of coffee.

Tillie you are going to have some time to yourself!!! Woohoo! I'm glad you got the supplies! I love living alone. So great.

We had giant storms move through last night and when I got home I couldn't find the kitty. I looked a bit but then decided to just leave her be. She came out for a second, walking really low, then pretty much hid til the storms had passed. I was feeling terrible with a stomach ache and a headache so I just tried to take a nap. My stomach feels a bit better today.

I did not come back to report that I brought home way too much bread from the food bank. Trying to manage it - things with less preservatives go to chickens first.

I am in "not doing anything because I have too much to do" mode.

Also emotionally tired - adjusting to dd2 moving back in and just found out heartdaughter is breaking up with her gf. Gf is not wife only because she is opposed to the heteronormative concept of marriage 🙄. So the legal stuff is easier - house is in heartdaughter's name. But emotionally, she's leaving her wife. It's been a long time coming - infidelity and lying. And I want to go all mama bear but am trying to respect her space.

OMG!
Details. Not deaths !

Test test

ANONY
HAVE I MISSED something.
What is the earth house project ?

So often I get so far behind on reading . I just pop in a drive by .
Without reading what's going on . Earthen home ?

Can you give an update.with as many deaths,s as you're comfortable sharing. Your priorities on the do's and donts.