Good morning.

I cleaned out a crate at school yesterday and threw some things out. I also took my barn trash to the dumpster and my kiln over fired slightly and I threw out the mug I had put in. It was a disaster. I have to deal with the rest of the kiln today.

I was stressed out and tired yesterday and I made a long series of bad choices - beginning with food and moving through the internet and staying up so late I got lass than 6 hours of sleep.

Not surprisingly - I don't feel good today. AND the only lesson plans I have ready center around ducks...

Dd and dsil leave to take Bean to visit my parents today. My dad has a heart procedure on Monday. My mom will not let me tell Dd because she and dad don't want them to change their plans and not come. Which means I can't tell Dh because he might decided Dd should be told. Which means I have to be stressed about it all by myself. Which apparently means pizza, sugary baked goods, crappy movies, and no sleep.

One of my coworkers made a decision to have students engage in what was clearly risky behavior that had no educational value other than perhaps a lesson about thinking for yourself, making intelligent choices, and not blindly trusting authority figures.
One of our kids is now in a cervical collar for at least three weeks with fractured vertebrae. I looked up the law - the parents have two years to sue for negligence. The kid has two years after turning 18 or being diagnosed with a health issue or disability stemming from the injury. (The kid graduates in may) Students videoed the whole thing and were sharing the video yesterday. I am the killjoy saying: guys, none of this is funny.

Coffee kicking in gotta do chores.

Road!! How terrible! I am so sorry for your loss, and also for your son being so sick. I am so sad for you.

All updates were read and I am glad people are posting. SubC I am glad your ducks did not ship and get stuck somewhere. What a relief.

I worked and worked and finally have my day off tomorrow and although I have to take a road trip for an appointment with Teen, I still am glad to have the day off to sleep in and recover a bit. I honestly have too much work, too much on my plate. Lesson learned and if I can just get through the next 2 weeks of so much work, it should calm down a little and I can be less stressed out.

Oh, Road, I'm so very sorry about your brother, and everything else besides.

And Lila, yes, stress such as you went through causes all sorts of hormones like cortisol and adrenaline to rush through one's body, kicking it into overdrive as a survival mechanism, using lots of energy and resources then when the crisis is past you crash.

Both of you going through so much: Try to eat and drink good things and take any vitamins that help if you have them, and nothing wrong with resting. You need it to rebuild at the cellular level and to replenish.

SubC, I'm glad you finally found out about the ducks.

I had a busy day yesterday with Ash Wednesday Mass at 8:00 a.m. (discovered I could make it there without too much craziness, something I wasn't sure of because I haven't gotten out and about much earlier than 9:00-10:00 for ages except for my uncle's funeral). I quilted and then had my 1:00-2:00 holy hour. Back home I kind of lost my momentum a bit. There was a cold front that rolled in.

Today I pulled out my unfinished quilt, tried measuring it for a border. It was slightly off, even though I had tried so hard to keep my seams consistent. Not bad, but I wasn't sure how to compensate for the discrepancy, and without a good working space for large projects, I decided to call one of our experienced and efficient quilters who has a sewing room. She was happy to help, I will give her the quilt and the border fabric on Tuesday. Since the quilt goes into the lineup at church, it won't be coming back here so that counts as half a cubic foot of stuff gone.

And it also frees me up to do quilts a new way, just making sets of blocks and passing them along to those who, like her, have the facilities, time, and know how to assemble them. I don't know if this change in my quiltmaking MO will be temporary or permanent. I don't have to decide that right now. All I know is, I was so stressed I had ground to a halt and wasn't even sure I liked quiltmaking anymore. Now I can take off the pressure and perfectionism and just see how it goes.

Take care, everyone. Poco a Poco. Vamos a Llegar.

The hatchery just called.

Even though the computer sent me an email saying that my ducks had shipped, my ducks did not ship. They had a hatch failure and no ducks were shipped.

My ducks are not dead in a box somewhere. They will ship in April.

Oh road, I am so sorry! I know this is a huge loss for you and so much harder having to figure out how and when to tell your son.

I really hope that the flu passes quickly. Poor kid needs a break!

Guys! Ugh!! I just want to Check in. Had/having one of the worst times of my life. My son was in hosp for almost three weeks with complications from pneumonia. Had to have a chest tube and so many scans and X-rays and sedations and blood work. We came home and we got the flu and now my son has it. But the worst thing was in the middle of it all my brother died. Suddenly/unexpectedly. We don’t know if it was a post Covid thing or heart attack or stroke but he didn’t respond to the usual texts one day, didn’t show at the hospital. I called police and they found him dead in his home. His dog friends were kind enough to take on his dogs after a few days and we had to go through a lot in his house to find documents etc. Very challenging to deal with my dad under these circumstances because he was disgusted by the house and just wanted to complain about the state of affairs and now that he’s planning the memorial my sister feels he is only concerned about appearances. We still haven’t told my son. The funeral for our next door neighbor is tomorrow (died day after my bro) but now I don’t think we can go to that either due to my son being sick. My bro’s memorial won’t be til April or May now I guess. I am not sure how much I can check in just wanted you all to know what’s been going on. I hope all of you are doing ok. Sending ð?'"ð?'"ð?'"ð?™?ð??¼

Got off to a good start this morning but have not managed my evening well.

Took a plastic grocery bag of trash to the gas station when I got gas today - mostly packaging I am letting go of recycling because it requires too complex a process.

Brought home the giant clay mixer from school (which belongs to me personally) to use in my studio. I do not really have a spot for it, but I have a spot where I can put it, and I am hoping it will help me get some of this clay processed - which should make more room.

Ran one load - wash/dry of laundry and one of dishes.

Tired.

Still no ducks.

Good morning.

Lila, I think when something traumatic happens, it knocks us back - we have less resiliency. So if another bad thing happens before we get a chance to recover, it hits us harder than it would have and we get knocked back a lot more.

Like grass - thick, tall healthy grass has deep roots and can stand some time without rain. Cut it short and the roots actually die back. Then if it doesn’t rain, it goes brown quickly.

Also, sometimes if you have too much to handle, your body will store it and hand it out later when you can process it.

Be gentle with yourself.

Sometimes going to bed is the best option.

I don't know what is wrong with me. Is it a thing that if you have a very stressful traumatic experience and then another one a day later that it does something to your brain that takes a long time to recover from? The thing with Teen was really awful but it has been almost 2 weeks and I still feel like I can barely cope with anything. Not sleeping well, etc. I am doing better in that I actually did go to work today and did fine for about 5 hours and then suddenly I felt like I was completely wiped out and had to come home, where I am sitting here staring into space non functional.

Better than last week, when my work limit was about an hour and a half and then I would be a bsket case.

Anyway I got work done, and now am home zoning out. I would like to declutter but I have zero energy. I want to go to bed.

I read your posts but my brain is offline.

So yesterday I took Bean to school so his parents could pick him up there (close to home) and I could fire a load in the kiln.

All I tossed out was diapers.

I am really struggling with sleep and my weight and organization.

Someone was fired at work and I know part of the backstory and an email was sent out which Dh says was very appropriate from a company standpoint and made it sound like the person had to quit suddenly for personal reasons and I feel totally gaslit by the email. Dh says quote: you don’t know, they could have offered them the chance to quit instead of being fired and they may have mental health issues going on that contributed to the behavior that made it not possible for them to keep working there. and that just feels like more gaslighting, and the part that is hard for me is that I am already wary of parts of my administration, and this just makes it impossible for me to trust any communication from them.

Also, I am stressed about the ducks.

I cleaned off the couch and put a few papers in the recycling.

I am going to shower and brush my teeth and pack up some things that need to go with me today for the class I am taking tonight, and then go to school.

Well, I'll chime in on the general themes floating around here - I've made a simple list of spiritual practices for Lent which feel like they will help me grow closer to God, a variety of practices and sacrifices and just trying to cultivate that trusting attitude like you said, Lila.

I'm fat; I don't want weight loss to be for my sake during Lent, but if I can try not to be a glutton that's a good goal, for sure. Or sloth - laziness - that may be more why I've gained. I let my fears and stress become huge obstacles to getting to the gym or anywhere else to exercise. That trend needs to reverse. I need to dig way back in my memory and recapture the time last summer when it was actually relaxing and positive. I got stressed out, the gym changed their locker locks in a way that I got all worried about (how to remember what to do with the new ones - but I've written a little cheat sheet now and printed it out, so I can do this).

Letting go of material possessions is the ongoing thing - back in 2015 when I joined this board, I was wanting to be a minimalist and part of the impetus was my beliefs, and the rest was just being fed up with being a hoarder. Nearly 8 years later (gulp) so much has happened including the pandemic - feels like a tornado went through in my head about it all. But I'm ready to start just doing what I can where I am, for now. Hoping momentum will gradually pick up with each success.

SubC, I think I was so computer and data backing-up preoccupied, I didn't catch that you were the one who suggested to Lila to put the cameras in tubs. So now that I know that, I think your reasoning was good as well. I guess now she can weigh the pros and cons and pick whichever strategy ends up working best. It's good that we all have the chance to pick each other's brains.

My computer's been mostly behaving itself today. I am hoping I'll be able to track down anything problematic and deal with it. I don't feel as intimidated, provided I am diligent about backing up files - that is one time when Justin Case proved his worth, lol.

Good thoughts, SubC. I have left two churches in the past that I was in for years, so I know how that is. The one I go to now is more compassionate and kind. I never knew about Lent and thought it was just giving things up - and my new pastor has explained it the way you did. It's not about self improvement in a "world" sense but in a spiritual sense of getting closer to God, or more like the ideal of Jesus. It's about removing something that is in between you and God, or just something you don't need, and giving that time towards God. So like if you give up watching TV for two hours that is not really about Lent, but it is if you use those hours to pray, read the Bible, serve others.

So for me I used to be a binge eater and food became something I spent a lot of time on, for my own pleasure. I think by fasting I am trying to change that and when I get hungry while fasting I use that as a trigger to pray or read or turn to God in some way. Or fix something that I think keeps me from God (maybe gluttony if you go with a Bible term?) Clutter is the same way. It keeps me from trusting him.

So when I do not eat for a stretch of time, but pray instead, it helps me focus on what's important.

And when I give away things that may have value, it is me trusting God that He will provide what I need in the future.

I read a really cool book by a monk a couple years ago. I wish I could remember it. But it explained why they give up pretty much everything. Yeah, that may be extreme, but I think there is something to be learned about valuing the spiritual over the flesh, no matter what one believes, right?

Tasks done so far:
- cleaned up half the dog yard (poo)
- listed some overabundance of produce online and gave it away
- opened a box that was in my room that is for a colon cancer study, completed the steps and scheduled a fedex pickup for today (one box gone from my room!)
- working on clearing the area next to my bed. Mainly I am putting things where they go instead of on the floor and have not tossed anything there yet.

So, maybe take this with a grain of salt as I was raised in a Protestant church and left the faith (I find the more time I spend in churches, the farther I feel from god. Ymmv)

My understanding of lent is not so much that it’s about self improvement in a temporal sense, or suffering or sacrifice or self discipline, but that it’s about giving up those things that separate us from god, removing distractions and recentering and refocusing on what is really important. It’s supposed to be a time of prayer and reflection.

So, in that sense, lent could be a great time to declutter your life. Looking at the time and energy you are spending on things that could better be spent serving god - whoosh! Seriously, instead of �does this spark joy?� It’s �how does having this help me live the life god wants me to live?�

On a less spiritual note - Bean and I added the daddy giraffe to the animal collection today. He was very pleased. (I didn’t buy him any card or treat for valentines, so that’s our February thing.

Lila what a lovely post. I like this a lot. My BF is Catholic. I grew up in congregational churches. I really love the peace you are bringing to your life. Recognizing that a pile of stuff could be replaced with peace is powerful.

For me, for today, I am going to the UPS store to return my brothers modem. I switched his internet a week or so ago and I must return this.

Big day for me yesterday, having two different girlfriends over. I am trying to skip apostrophes so pardon the poor grammar and stilted language.

Today I want to make more donation bags. I do not believe that goodwill is open and I have a car full of donations to make. This must be my priority for Monday.

Tonight is trash night. I have my recycling ready to go out.

Good morning. A day off for many of us? Yes for me!

Does anyone else participate in Lent or something like it? This Wednesday is Ash Weds and I never knew anything about it until my current church, which is not Catholic but does have an Ash Weds service and talks about Lent. I have already begin a 'season of fasting' which I wanted to try this year with the 16:8 intermittant fasting because I require structure and it is something I want to do as a self discipline. I am using this time to stop idolizing food, eating lots of junk and fast food and sugary things that harm my body, and using the hunger as a turning-to-God point.

I also have thought this morning that the mindset of giving, not hoarding, trusting God and being a free giver to trust in the Lord to provide for the future is something I am trying to cultivate. If I cultivate that mindset, it will follow that I give more of my unused belongings away, and trust that I will have what I really need.

I will try to channel that mindsent during Lent into crafting my environment to reflect my inner peace. I thought of this when I got up this morning and looked at the piles of STUFF on the floor just a couple feet from where I got out of bed. Wouldn't it be nice, and peaceful, to get up and have all of that gone?

That is scary, CM, with the computer situation. I no longer have a computer other than my work laptop. All else is iPhone or iPad. I hope it is okay. The cyber stuff terrifies me!

SubC! I know you weren’t advocating to keep the cameras! You are a gentle, kind soul and I was being like a drill Sargent. Lila, why not package them up in one eBay listing for say, $100? Maybe someone would want all of them and that would give you some funds! Some people like to get a whole bunch. And if someone says, I really only want camera x and I’ll pay $30, you can sell it! Worth a shot!

I wish I could sell on eBay. I never dedicated myself to it. I know there is money to be made.

So I got rid of eight pjs. Two pair of pj shorts, three pair of pj bottoms, and three pair of complete pjs. Then Emiko came over, took a look at my pjs and asked if she could take a pair. So I went into my pj drawer and let her choose. So nine in all. As I wrote this, Emiko texted to say she’s wearing the pj pants. So that’s good news. I have to be tough with myself.

I’m pretty excited about the ducks, SubC.

Okay tomorrow is a day off. Let’s see what I do. I saw a girlfriend today and we did some walking around the city. Then Emiko needed me to help her with a work project. I did not see mom today and I feel guilty.

Okay I’m going to read now.

I want to chime in that I was not voting to keep the cameras, I was just voting to move them to an available space (minus batteries to avoid a disaster) if they were too much to handle right now so that Lila can finish her room.

I feel like anything that speeds up the room is a good choice, but yes, now is better than later if you can do it.

Dd surprised my by turning up at 12:30 with Bean while I was still throwing pots. He did not take a nap today, but she made lunch and they baked some muffins while I set up the duck pen. Then Dd left.

So I did not cut brambles, bake any bread (Bean and I will bake it tomorrow) or do any lesson plans.

Bean has had his dinner and his bath and stories and gone to bed, and Dh is resting in the house after a long day of golf. He can be in charge of Bean, so I need to go back out and do a little more work on those pots. I just threw a cover over them and came in at lunch time.

I did get a load of laundry put away and a load of dishes run. And I put one thing from the barn in the garbage when I was working on the duck pen. Better than nothing.

CM, oh, when the computers do weird things and it's not like it used to be it stresses me out so badly!! I'm glad it went back to normal for you. I do not like change!

Thank you for the encouragement and possible ways to handle these things. I know it would be a huge weight off my mind to just get all the files off these computers and photos off the cameras and get rid of them!! I have thought about just calling the computer stores around here and asking how much it costs to get all the files off a computer. If it isn't too much, it might be worth it to just pay them to have it done. Now, to me "too much" is $50 so maybe I am way off. But I would pay $25/each to have someone else get my files off, and just GIVE them the computers for any parts they could use! I think I will call around. That would free up a huge amount of physical AND mental space.

I just cleaned out the litter box which I hate doing, especially when Teen has let it go for too long and is refusing to do it. I had to take it outside and wash it. So gross. I like the cat ok but it is not MY cat. However it is like a therapy cat for Teen so I can't rehome him. He is a nice cat, actually. I just would prefer Teen do the litter box, which they do about 75% of the time.

What a busy weekend for all of us, sounds like.

SubC, I don't know, it may be that my roommate and I have sort of turned into sisters, lol. We do sometimes refer to ourselves as sisters in Christ, anyway. She is a few years older than me, and was one of the older sibs of her family, and we tend to fall a bit into a big sister-little sister dynamic. Or else we butt heads if I feel like she is being bossy (which she really isn't intending to be). Sometimes my inner control freak comes out because of being so used to living on my own and having my own routines, and I get a little obnoxious and petty. I'm working on that.

I toy with the idea of intermittent fasting, because it might be a better method for weight loss being as I'm a picky eater who mostly shuns vegetables. And there was is gal from my parish who had great success with it; she is an inspiration to be sure. But I think I'm needing more structure in general before adding any subroutines to my life, if you see what I mean.

Lila, that was a good idea to reuse the food bag for a trash bag so that you wouldn't be tempted to keep it. We do that with bunny hay and litter bags, and dog and cat food bags, etc. They are good both in the large wastebasket or during gardening season they can hold weeds.

Bunny club had its fun event today where the bunnies get to hop around in a big room and the bunny "parents" get to watch their antics, and welcome new members, talk about upcoming events, etc. It was quiet and lowkey, yet people seemed happy and engaged. Not hectic or overstimulating for me as such events can sometimes be. It just seemed to pace itself out nicely. We'll have a board meeting next weekend and an event to plan for at the end of March.

I'm thankful it was so mellow, because yesterday certainly was not, after the coffee shop. It got really windy and was messing with my roommate's screened porch, which was upsetting for her.

And then my computer decided to freak out - all of a sudden I'd try to type something in Google and nothing would happen, the little circle would spin fruitlessly. The fan was running continuously. I checked the readout and saw that the CPU was running at 80-90 percent. This is a gaming laptop with speed and plenty of RAM, and I wasn't doing gaming or anything memory intensive.

So I shut it down, and restarted - and that's when things really got "interesting." When it restarted, it appeared that Windows 11 had reinstalled itself, none of my personalization colors and home screen picture were there, my Start panel was in the center instead of the left, etc. and the Windows 11 graphic that looks like bright blue strips of petals or buttercream frosting or something was there.

With mounting trepidation, I went to look in my file directory. I saw that my username wasn't there but some temporary user profile was. And my files? GONE. By this time I'm pretty much hysterical, but trying to hang onto some scrap of rationality so that I can troubleshoot the thing.

Well, long story short, I thought at least I have been backing up, so my data is not truly lost. Somewhere in there I think I shut down the computer again, and then upon restarting it, lo and behold, there was everything the way it had been before! I quickly got my second backup drive and made a duplicate backup just in case. But it appears that things are okay.

But what caused all that? I've been Googling, and I hope I can ask some people who know about these things. One possibility that can produce such symptoms is that someone was doing cryptojacking? Using my computing power, and my roommate's electricity, to run their calculations. I don't understand all about how cryptocurrency works, nor do I really care to, but obviously I just want to get rid of and/or prevent any sort of malware or whatever might've caused the problem.

So it was a relief to have things back - and I hope and pray the worst drama is over. I have no idea whether Windows "reinstalled" itself, if that's indeed what it did, to thwart an attack, or if it just thought I told it to do so, or what. The whole thing was weird.

Lila, I wish I could help you with data recovery, because with this computer of mine, which I do believe is still basically fine, I could probably do quite a bit fairly rapidly, at least with the devices/storage that can still be accessed. I agree with Tatoulia that the cameras are probably not going to be wanted much by anyone else - technology has left them in the dust, if they are the point and shoot types. Even older DSLRs may be obsolete. And of course everybody uses phones nowadays anyway. Or if they're serious they may use DSLRs - I think. Haven't totally kept up.

However, do remove any old batteries from them, that is a good idea, and if there are SD card storage chips unmount those - they can be read by your computer easily enough provided the data is not corrupted. If your computer doesn't have a card slot it's easy enough to purchase a USB card reader in a store or from Amazon. If the only way to get the data is from the camera's internal memory with a cord (e.g., if it has no working SD card) perhaps there are universal cords for those? It's been awhile.

With the laptops, it depends on what type of data storage each uses - CD ROMs? USB? Or old floppies (harder to deal with). The larger the gap between the old tech and the new, the more time consuming a task it will be, if it's even possible.

I think you will need to decide (hope I'm not being bossy) to go ahead and try and set aside time to make a big push to recover the data fairly soon, or if you are still drawn more to procrastinate realize that that in itself may be a decision, because the data is going to be more likely to corrupt in storage and become unrecoverable - and your own energy and time will diminish to get it done. This is what I am finding out about a lot of things as I realize how I'm getting older and so on. It's not pretty, but we can't avoid reckoning with the reality of it. I guess what I'm saying is try to be courageous and honest and deliberate, and don't kick the problem too much further down the road.

Sometimes, too, comes the sad realization that it's not possible to retrieve everything, and sometimes we just have to grieve it and move on. I have an old cell phone that may contain a late photo of my mom a year or so before she died. I had purchased some software that was supposed to be able to read the data from the phone but it didn't work. (I still have the phone and the software, and I should probably practice what I preach with them...)

If you can get yourself to deal with some of them, there are usually places that the components can be taken for recycling though. I have a couple of old computers I need to take myself. Hmmmm... do we need to start a Recycling Computers Tally? Just kidding - the Daily Tally should suffice - but if we do get one gone, we definitely need to celebrate and pat ourselves on the back. Good luck! I know how hard it is.

Tatoulia, that is wise. And you said something I did not think of before, about the new owner being thrilled. You are right! Keeping them all in a drawer for 20 years is pretty silly, and kind of selfish, too. Someone else would be enjoying them. Very good points. I think on my days off I will try to take out one at a time, check for photos/photo cards, remove batteries and pack together to give away. I do think I will search ebay for each one, just one search, before I donate because I AM kind of broke. But if any camera is worth less than $50 I will donate (I would guess they all are but I have this weird thought process hoping I will find something worth hundreds of dollars...) so I will do the 5 minute search to make me feel better.

SubC, that sounds like a productive day. If you have time please tell me about your ducks. I love ducks.

I worked today and felt good doing but was completely wiped out exhausted at the end and left early and avoided people. I feel like I ran a marathon and could go to bed right now and it's barely noon. I think all the emotionally taxing things I have been dealing with catch up to me. I was only there for about 2 hours but I was at my limit. I have paid time off tomorrow so that will be a rest day (decluttering as well).

Today - I hit my 16 hour fasting goal again.
I have put one load of clothes in the wash.
I will pick away at decluttering in between resting.

I am supposed to do some calls for work, and maybe emails. We'll see.

That is a terrific list, SubC! I am up early for me! I snuck downstairs to start a laundry. Cat blankets.

I just made my bed and i will now go through the pjs to decide on a minimum of four pair to donate. There are arguments to keep them all, naturally. But if I keep thinking this way, I will change it to five pair need to go. That’s how ruthless I need to be today.

Good morning! I slept late.

It is a nice day and Dh has gone to play golf.

Here is my too long plan:
Chores
Throw pots
Set up duck pen
Cut brambles
Make bread
Lesson plans

Clean up after myself as I go, try to accept that some things are trash - I want to have more than just diapers to take out this week. The scullery has become a transfer station again.

SubC you did a lot. I too am going to shower and I will probably wash my hair. I finally found pajamas I like and after washing them last night and hanging them to dry, I am looking forward to testing them out. You did great today, SubC.

Lila, I hope I am not being hurtful but your grandchildren will not want the cameras. They will not. You may have one grandchild who is an old soul and gravitates toward that sort of thing and that one child will show the signs early. I was that old soul and trust me, everyone could tell by age 3. I think saving them is not productive. ON THE FLIP SIDE, if you donate them, someone at the thrift shop will be thrilled. The right next owner will be found. Please consider this before storing them. Please consider sending them on their way to a new home. New home for the cameras, and new and cleaner home for you. You can take out the photo cards (and batteries) before donating. These are not your grandparents records. There is no connection for you.

This is how tough I have been on myself since I started this journey. I got into an unlivable and cluttered place by hoarding things. everything had meaning of someone might want someday. You don’t need to be the warehouse for someone elses someday. Your day is today.

Again I am telling myself this at the same time. As I marvel at three pair of new pajamas and I have to get rid of four pair to make room.

Hi all!

I have low personal bandwidth tonight, so I’m just going to address one th8ng - Lila,Mia you have space to pack away the cameras right now, do it, BUT you need to go through and remove all the batteries first. You can do it as you pack them up.

CM might know something about the computers.

I did a load of dishes and two loads of laundry and put two other loads of laundry away and cleaned up in my studio so that I can just go out and throw tomorrow. And I took a shower with washing my hair.

Tatoulia, I’m glad you were able to have your brother over.

another post, this time requesting input.

Stuff in my room that is bothering me.

I have a drawer full of old cameras. All digital but back when digital first came out. I am insistent on keeping them but sheesh. I am considering putting them all in a plastic bin and putting them on a shelf in a closet in the basement so I have that drawer free. Maybe in time I will feel ok about getting rid of them but it is overwhelming: are there photos on them? I would need to find the cables to get them off. Are there old batteries in them leaking acid? Are they worth some money since I kept the boxes and manuals? Would my grandkids like them to take pictures with in a few years? ugh

I have a bin in my room, and a BIG bin maybe also in my room somewhere, FULL of cords. Just cords, plugs, all different kinds of chargers and cords. It would take me a week to sort through and try to figure out what goes with what. I cannot donate them because they go with things...

I have about 3 laptops in various stages of broken, and a PC that is olddd but has photos on it but no internet connection. Baby pics of my kids and stuff. I would LOVE to get rid of all of them. But, they have documents and photos to get off them and who has time? And, to make it worse, I had a Windows 95 PC and when I was decluttering 10+ years ago I got what I could off of it and then got rid of it and THEN realized there were some irreplaceable conversations on it that I did not save and now cannot get back. And it sort of haunts me... and so I am touchy about getting rid of more.

Okay, all suggestions welcome. Even if I don't follow them right away, I think about what you say and let it process and percolate so I can work up to doing something about this junk.

oh wow, 2 days fasting! I would have to work up to that. 16 is about my limit and I get dizzy. But I think my body will get used to it again. I used to do an occasional 20:4. I am heavier than I was then. I want to lose about 50 pounds.

I worked on my bedroom and got 22 more items out of there!! Not counting papers and receipts I tossed. All were items I was keeping. Most got donated (and the box is now in the back of my car) and a few were trash. I am proud of myself for doing that.

I have a lot of boxes and plastic bins in my bedroom so I was sorting some small plastic bins and was able to consolidate the contents of 3 bins into 2 bins after I donated stuff. And there is still room in those bins.

I needed a mental break even though it only took me like 20 minutes. There is SO much stuff in there and each item is WORK to let go of.You know what I mean right guys?

But also the feeling of freedom and success after getting rid of things is really motivating.

Hi Lila! I used to intermittent fast, too, but I did 5:2. At five days a week, no eating for two days. I enjoyed it and got to the point where I could go into the office on fasting days. I gave it up after meeting with a nutritionist who helped me lose a lot of weight by fasting. Right now I’m doing other things. 23 down, probably another 20 to go. I’m definitely enjoying the benefits of losing weight!

I hope the fasting works well for you! I would lose a reliable one pound a week. Not bad!

My brother came over today. I got him a pizza and I had a Caesar salad wrap. He got to meet the new kitty and seemed to like her. She is a nice little companion.

I’m going to take a nap now.

Well I made it to 16 hours 28 minutes in my fasting app and I am happy about that. To make it to my goal, I went in my room:

- gathered dog treats and sample food bags off the floor and brought them to the kitchen. Put treats in the jar and will feed the dogs the samples.

- put a dog bone into the correct bin, and threw the container out. It is a disposable container, but the lid does not stay on and I decided to toss it.

- looked around and got overwhelmed. But took my laundry basket of dirty clothes into the hall so I can wash them.

Then I looked in the fridge for lunch. A friend gave me a free week of one of those vegetarian meal plans and it had one meal left in it to make, for the last couple weeks. So I got that out, all the ingredients were still good so I spent a good 40 minutes making a couscous bowl with roasted chickpeas and roasted vegetables. It was really good! It makes 2 servings so I put the other half into a nice dish and put it in the fridge for another day.

I also used the weird foil-like bag the meals came in as a trash container because I was tempted to keep it, but it had food spilled in it and would be a pain to keep.

So there's a couple things I'll add to the daily tally.

CM, so glad you found your coffee shop!

Isn’t your roommate situation sort of a replacement sibling situation?

I’m not sure siblings are much of a guarantee of anything. I’m much closer to my cousin than I am to my brother. And one of my �family of choice� people is the third name on my emergency contact list (husband, in town Dd, heartdd)


The breakfast turned out to be a good experience.

I’m still tired and mostly resting today, but I’m going to at least get some laundry going. I’ll check back later.

Good morning and happy weekend.

I am fairly well rested and things are calm. I have started intermittent fasting again, which I felt very good doing years ago. My goal is 16 hours fasting and an 8 hour eating window. I use and app to keep track, and I do have coffee or tea during the fast and I do use minimal plant based creamer, even though that is not ideal. It is how I can work it.

I have a little less than an hour before I can eat, and now I want to eat, so instead, I will get off this couch and attempt some cleaning and decluttering.

I hope we all get some stuff OUT of our homes today!

Oh, Lila, bless you for the kind words. I didn't know you were another only child! It is a thing that I suppose can be a blessing or a curse - or perhaps a mixed bag, as I did enjoy some of the closeness and affection with my parents - though the helicopter parenting and having fewer people around to diffuse tensions when they cropped up was not so great.

Ah well. I accept it as God's will, but I'm one who will do what I can to gently encourage people to have more than one kid if I can. I just believe siblinghood is a highly essential type of human relationship just like that of parent and child, that it's desirable not to miss out on if it can be prevented. I see so many these days wanting to be "One and Done" even when they can easily afford more and there aren't any health problems etc. to consider. Some just want more trips to Disney World and material goods. But I will refrain from getting on my soapbox any further.

Maybe a lot of us older ladies will eventually form communities so that we can afford retirement, help each other out, and not be lonely - it's a trend I've seen a bit of in the press. Tiny houses, pocket communities, that sort of thing.

I'm feeling a lot better than I did on Thursday, because yesterday went very well regarding the tire situation. Roadside assistance arrived and the guy efficiently got the spare on, and he looked at the piece of metal in the tire and said it looked fixable. Which it was. The guy at the tire shop was very quick and efficient and it didn't cost much - yay! I was so thankful. So many times things like this turn into big expensive complicated things, even a cascade of problems.

That's why I want to find some financial solution, so I can maintain an emergency fund, have the means to get routine maintenance done on things, and so on.

I got the tire out for the roadside guy and set it on the grass before he came, so he wouldn't see the junk in the van (stuff I need to dispatch to its new home or to recycling) although the guy at the tire place saw it when he put the spare back in, but hopefully did not judge me too badly. I really want to get the van dejunked and clean - when I got it in 2018, for awhile I was able to, then things kind of deteriorated. I think I'll try and report any kind of progress I make on it here or on the Tally thread; that will give me some good positive reinforcement and celebration. Having it nice again will feel so good.

Poco a poco... solve one small challenge at a time.

This morning roommate and I checked out this nearby coffee shop. I should've done so a long time ago, because it's a fantastic place that I will go to often. A hangout. They have booths with power outlets, wifi - and it's quiet, peaceful, no loud music or migraine inducing lighting - just a great atmosphere. I can see myself taking my laptop there to write. It's not a place where I would be afraid to go. I can get a lot done in a place like that.

Good morning.

Lila, it will take wanting the space more than you want the things.

I am not really there yet. I backslide.

Dh and I have a free conservation program and breakfast from the county this morning. I signed us up a while ago and was excited about it. Now I’m just tired. I stayed up much too late last night googling friends from college. They mostly didn’t come up. The things that did come up were mostly sad. Three guys seem to have good jobs and are on linked in. I found out one of them is married - no kids - from his mother’s obituary. The guy who wanted to be a writer wrote one book and apparently opened a successful lawn care business. One guy had an old go fund me page. His wife died of a brain tumor four years ago. He had quit his job to care for her. Couldn’t find anything further. The page didn’t raise much, but it provided the only evidence of yet another friend who contributed, so I guess they stayed in touch.

I’ve been missing them a lot lately as I am watching my crop of much loved young men get ready to launch themselves out of high school. But really I think I miss the teen/twentyish them. I wonder if I would even be able to talk to these old men.

I slowly lost touch with all of them once I had kids.

I googled the girls from my dorm too. The two cute, funny, highly social ended up with good careers. They look happy on Pinterest, but no spouses, no kids. My roommate (is still) married, had three kids, and teaches preschool.

Gotta do chores and go. Need to get out of my head! It’s a far worse mess than my house.

I literally sat on the couch almost all day and looked up and it is almost night. Maybe I just needed the down time with very little stimulation to calm my nerves.

I want to get rid of the landfill that is inside my home but what is it going to take?

I did go into my bedroom and looked around for things to get rid of and sat on the bed and got overwhelmed.

I forgot about working my way out from the bed. I just want to throw things in a box and get rid of it all. I wish I could do that. I will try again.

CM, I didn't finish my thought. I am just a few years younger than you. If you lived near me, which I think you don't, I'd see if we could get together and form a sisterhood. I always have wanted a sister, and sometimes I will make a friend who kind of feels like one. But you're right, people are too busy. I don't really have anyone close anymore. My two best friends died and two close friends moved away and I never see them anymore. It is lonely and scary. There is no way Teen will help me when I am old. Oldest son, no way either, as he is far away and not concerned about me even now. Youngest son is disabled but would help as he can but I worry about him when I am gone. The other two kids, one will come see me like 4-5x a year, not even on holidays. Tot's parents are my close family and I pray it stays that way. Ugh I am rambling again.

Anyway I meant to say if you even happen to come to the PNW I would be your in person friend and we could declutter together or something.

There is room in my trash cans for more trash to go before the trucks come. I wonder if there is anything else I can toss. I do have a box of donations just about full and will put them in my car.

ugh CM, sorry about the flat tire. I hot a board on the highway this morning (unseen in time) and hope my tires are ok and no nails.

CM, I am in a similar boat. No siblings, parents long gone. I have one aunt with dementia that I love and call occasionally, and one cousin I am friendly with, but see maybe once a decade. However I do have kids and grandkids now. I was so lonely as a child and had as many kids as I could with the crappy husbands I had. Thankful for them and need to get with Tot's family more regularly.

Teen refused to go to their appointment yesterday. I have been feeling kind of emotionally wrecked. I went to the meeting and felt fine but then there was just the slightest bit of tension/disagreement and I shut right down and was shaking. My boss was there. I think he saw how messed up I am and I am afraid he is going to ask me to take a break from work and I don't want to. It's my sanity. He assigned me some HR person last week which has never happened to me before. He said it with a smile and was like 'oh she's just for your support' but now I am scared I will get fired or something because my kid is out of control at home.

Anyway. This morning I:

- took the broken microwave to the trash bin to be taken
- put a bag of leaves into the bin
- drove to work before anyone else got there to pick up some soup someone made for me and left in the fridge. It is my day off and I did not want to talk to anyone. One guy was coming in as I was leaving but I just said hi and ran off.
- made coffee. Am drinking it. Had a banana. Am considering throwing away the Oreos so I don't eat them all.

Roadside Assistance request sent, which went smoothly. Still, I must admit I am not a fan of all this adulting. This weekend will mark 20 years since my dad passed, and I used to be so blessed to have him to help with my vehicles; if he couldn't do something himself he at least knew where to take it.

I feel so alone in the world sometimes; my parents gone and me with no siblings, spouse, nor children plus the lovely ball and chain that is agoraphobia to reckon with. The parental generation relatives dying off, first cousins half gone and most not nearby, their children I don't know really well, though they are mostly decent people who I think would help if they were close. Sometimes I ponder moving to the town where my dad was from, so I could be near those cousins' children as I age. Having no kids of my own I need to find some way to be connected with people who will likely live long enough to be able to help me when I can't do for myself.

Friends, too, have become much sparser and communication with them harder - I think this was a trend that was starting even before pandemic but that really accelerated it. I'm noticing a pattern, too - in my 30s-50s it was still possible to easily make new friends and connect with them, at least if they were single like me. I quit trying with married people. Anyhow, now that most people my age are firmly ensconced in the grandparent life and retired or thinking about it, they seem busier and more cocooned in their own immediate circle than ever. Perhaps I'll make some friends through the senior center, but it may take some time.

I guess it's just turning 60 shock still - and 61 soon, in April. It's different than the crisis I went through turning 30, which was difficult in its own way (suddenly realizing my parents were mortal). I got through that one, I still had health and energy, and I still do to a great extent, brain glitches aside. But it does feel weird contemplating my OWN mortality.

This is actually one driving force behind my recent jumpstarting of my decluttering process, honestly. Swedish Death Cleaning, perhaps.

Hope this wasn't all too morbid. But it kind of helps to just spew it out, because it's been haunting me lately. Maybe this'll help externalize the angst.

Lila, I hope your work thing and teen’s appointment went well.

(CM, apostrophes have not been working for me - we will see how that one went)

Yes, the animals are Schleich. They are cheaper direct than through tractor supply depending on shipping.

I hope your tire is an easy fix.

Nothing cleared out or cleaned up today. Just checking in.

Exclamation point-!

SubC, Are the animals Schleich? Those are really cute; they sell them here at Tractor Supply and I have to resist - they have realistic cute bunnies. My roommate did buy one a few years back. Bean ought to like them.

Sounds like we're all riding the struggle bus a bit this week. It hit me today. Which was supposed to be a snow day and I'd done prep like go to the grocery store yesterday, was going to do my long-neglected laundry and basically chill.

But got off to a late start, got irritated that roommate hadn't cleaned the lint off the dryer screen, in a temper I whacked it against the wastebasket too hard and a corner of the frame chipped off. Mea culpa. Ordered her another one on general principles, and as penance for my stupid temper. The old one does still work, though. I
thought I was getting better about that sort of thing, but I backslide from time to time. Bleah.

Then went out to put some books to get rid of in the van, and discovered a flat tire. I thought I drove over something Tuesday morning on my way to church quilting. But I couldn't see any damage then. And it let me drive to church yesterday again, and to the store, thank goodness I guess that it didn't go flat while I was out and about.

Looks like my insurance roadside assistance will cover coming to put on the spare. But I'll do it tomorrow. Even though the snow missed us, the cold did not, and I don't fancy standing out there doing (guess what) the task of clearing junk away so that I can get to the spare tire. The junk in question is stuff that is going to go away, mostly, and I know I've been making progress. But to someone who doesn't know what I've been accomplishing and how much worse it had been, of course it will just look like a mess and me like a slob. Bleah again.

It's supposed to warm up a bit tomorrow, though, and hopefully this will all get taken care of. I pray the tire guy Julio can repair it and I won't need to purchase new tires. I do want to get some eventually but would like to have another few paydays first.

_________________________________

Testing 1 2 3 on the punctuation

We know periods and commas are still working, so I won't bother with them.

Question mark ?
Colon : Semicolon ;
Exclamation point !
Parentheses ( )
Percent sign %
Asterisk *
Plus + Hyphen or minus - Equal sign =
Dollar sign $

And now we shall see.

For good measure, some emojis, not that I am holding my breath...

ð?™?ð???ð?¦¡â?¤ï¸?

Today is hard and I am tired and emotional, have to take Teen to an appt and then have a work meeting that I am dreading.

Today I am looking for a lost item so I went in my room and hung up about a dozen clothing items in my closet, which cleared some space. I donated one shirt. I have not found the item.

SubC, a fire! Goodness. I am glad you were there to help that student. I know how stressful things throw everything off for days.

Tatoulia, thank you for asking. I actually like interacting and thinking through this stuff. It helps me process.

I think the records are worth it, at least to play them one time, because I have such little connection to them. I miss my Dad so much and everyone on his side died long ago. Thinking about them listening to this music, and my Dad hearing it as a child, makes me feel connected to them. However, once I play them, if I don't enjoy the music, I could see myself selling or donating them and not needing the record player any more. I believe it has a way to record/copy LPs/records onto CDs or digitally, so I could do that if there are just a few I like and then move on. Or see if any of my kids want them.

The freezer is something I had because of being broke all the time. So when you go to the food bank they give you a lot of bread, muffins, bagels and stuff, and then I can freeze them. Also, when people give me things like peppers, onions, fruit, etc from gardens I always chop and freeze. When I make big pots of soup or casseroles I freeze a few quarts to have later when I am busy. I look for meat to be on sale, then when it hits the "sell by" date it is super cheap and I buy it and freeze it. So that's how I've used the freezer, plus you know, the kids and grandkids like to have pizza, burritos, my son likes frozen meals to take to work. That kind of thing. If it died, I would not replace it, as now all my kids are grown and I no longer cook for 7+ people a night. I might get a little chest freezer instead. I think if it was just me I would do as you do. So it will be that way eventually. But I think if I had not thought about this I would automatically buy another freezer when this one dies. Now I realize I won't need one.

Hello everyone. Lila, I’m sorry about the freezer and the box. Would you mind if I asked you a few questions? Please do not answer if you don’t want to.

Is it worth it to you to play your grandparents records? Stop and think about that. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. It is okay if priorities change. It really is.

How long do you keep food in the freezer and then do you eventually eat it? I have to admit that I tend to buy my food each night. Sometimes two nights in advance. I rarely have things in my freezer. I have lived like this since grad school. I remember someone commenting about how I buy my food each night. And I do. Most is consumed within two days of buying it. For me it is heaven. I can see how it would be a nightmare for most.

I can understand the panic attack with the acrid burning smell, SubC.

As for me, I’m continuing to reduce my things. I have too many.

I have to go make dinner. My little grandma cat is sitting next to me and purring. She’s a little sweetheart.

Hello.

Lila, that is a lot with the box. I’m sorry. About the freezer too.

We had sort of a fire at school today - a ballast burned out in a light in the art room. Whole third floor smelled awful. We evacuated and the fire department removed the light fixture. It threw off the whole day.

I did manage to calm down a kid who was having a panic attack.

Right now I just want to get through the week.

update today -

I cleaned off the kitchen table and wiped it off. Gathered what needs to be taken to the post office and will take it today.

I cleaned out the big freezer, partly, as at some point last week in the Teen rampage it turned off/breaker got tripped without our noticing, so much of the food was thawed and mushy. I took what was not at all frozen and threw it out, sadly. I think most of the rest will be okay. Who knows.

I am getting myself ready because I have to go to work in 2 hours, so probably will just add to the Daily Tally when I get home tonight. Hope to get back to cleaning and decluttering tomorrow.

SubC, the lamp is on a box. The box is large. Inside it is a record player system I bought a few years ago and never even opened the box. Heck it could even be broken in there and I wouldn't know and couldn't return it now!

I bought it, then it sat in my bedroom for a few years. Then a year or two ago I remember posting about it on here and deciding it needed to get set up and used. So I bought the box out to the living room and set it up on my filing cabinet - the box, that is. Without opening it. Then, this year at Christmas, I wanted to put the Nativity on the filing cabinet for Tot to see, as usual. So the big box got put on the floor between the cabinet and the recliner, and there it sits.

The lamp was on an end table but kept getting knocked off by the clumsy dog, so got put behind the recliner. Which eventually ended up with it on the box so I could vacuum.

What is the solution? I don't know. I am dismayed that if I set up the record player and records (which belonged to my grandparents), Teen will fly into a rage and destroy it at some point. So now I am thinking it has to go back into my bedroom. But I am trying to declutter in there. I don't think I have a surface large enough for it to sit on in there to be out and be used. I don't know.

Everything I have is subject to destruction. So I try not to get anything else new and breakable, try not to get too attached to things, and am trying to keep things where they won't get destroyed. Sigh.

Late night with my class last night and very tired today. Less than six hours of sleep.

I posted on the tally thread.

I need to come home and get to bed early tonight.

Last night I added a promise to do something for somebody.

And I have a staff meeting at lunch today.

And some paperwork I have to take care of.

My toy animals are supposed to come in the mail tomorrow.

Things feel like they are trending in the wrong direction. But maybe that is just lack of sleep.

Good morning (exclamation)

Happy Valentine’s Day to all (exclamation) We are about halfway through February (exclamation)

It is very difficult for me to express myself without exclamation marks, quotes, and apostrophes (exclamation)

The thing with the animals is that we have so many toys. More toys than any child should ever need. I was spoiled, My kids were spoiled, and so many things have been saved and passed down….

Dd told me when he was younger that I was never to buy anything new for him. She has relaxed a bit, but not much. Also, her house is small, so I am the quote toy library, where things are rotated back and forth so that he has a variety at home without needing a lot of storage.

I could get rid of some of the animals that have found their way into the box which are not the same kind and not as nice, but they belong to my ds or dd2.

When I was 40, I told my kids I would store stuff for them until they were 40, or my youngest grandchild was ten, whichever came first, and then I was keeping only the things I really liked and the rest went out or to them. Bean is 2.5 and still my only. Dd2 will be 27 this year.

Also, the animals are nice, but they are still plastic, which I try to avoid.

Lila, good job on the remotes. Is the lamp on a box, or in a box? What is in the box? Are you using a box as a table?

Back to school today. I will let you know if I manage to remove anything from the household.

The animals sound like a great deal! Bean loves them and they will make good and not huge gifts that he will pass on to his kids someday I bet.

Little kitty hugging you makes me smile.

I worked on the remotes and managed to put one more in the donate box so far.

My living room is the most clean and decluttered it has been in years I think. It still needs a little work but for some reason I have been REALLY resistant to finishing it up.

- end table next to me has a printer, my planner markers, a pen holder and a mug coaster on it. That's all I want on there, but there are a handful of other things to deal with and then it needs dusted.

- end table on the other side has all those remotes on it, and needs dusted/windexed.

- coffee table has my laptops on it which is fine, but also 2 piles of papers and a box. The papers should go BUT HOW. Why are papers so hard.

Heck, that's about it really. There is a lamp on a box in the corner that I should dust and find a home for but everything else in the living room looks pretty good. Oh, need to vacuum the recliner and couches, and dust the leather chair.

Will bring you and your grandson a lot of pleasure! Not whatever I wrote

You were not bad, SubC. You did a good job and this will bring both you and grandson a,or if plewsure! Yay for the coupon.

I got the trash out tonight and I did two loads of laundry during the day. I just showered and the dishwasher is running. The dear little cat is hugging me.

I called my pharmacist today because some of the meds are giving me trouble. He will be straightening this out. This is the pharmacist at the hospital, not the one at the drugstore.

I have a lot to do tmr. I am not sure of what meetings I have so I’ll try to fit in a few errands during the day.

Keep up the good work, everyone. Lila, congratulations for getting rid of the remotes. Press through the feeling that you may need them some day. Work through it. It is a very good thing to change the mindset from what if I need it someday to I do not need it now. This helped me immensely. Let me know how it works for you.

Lila, the dog sounds like enough for one day all by itself (exclamation point)

I had a good day with Bean. We cut willow starts and played and I ran a load of wash and a load of dishes.

He had fun feeding the baby chickens. And we went for a walk and played outside. Finally the weather is a little better.

I was �bad� today, but I don’t regret it.

Bean loves the little plastic animals that my kids collected when they were young. (Remember the big Daddy sheep?) they are very well made and realistic, and I got him a T-Rex (�big chomp� for Christmas. Dd took her share from her childhood home and he plays with the rest here.

Anyway, I got an email that they were having a buy two get one free sale. Then I started putting things in and out of my cart to see how close I could come to free shipping (forty-one cents over the minimum if anyone wonders) I abandoned the cart so many times they sent me a ten percent off coupon if I ordered within 48 hours. So basically, I got 43% off and free shipping. (Could not avoid the tax, but it was just state and not local) I bought a lot of animals.

I will put a couple in his Easter basket and save some for surprises here and there is his birthday and Christmas….

Well, it is getting into late afternoon. I feel so stalled and frozen but I did take my large furry dog to the self serve dog wash and washed him, which is a bigger task than it sounds like. I was there at least 2 hours. I was soaked and covered in hair when I got home. But he is clean, nearly dry, and happy.

I also washed the dog beds/covers. The innards of the beds are out on the deck airing out. I also vacuumed and cleaned the floor of his crate.

The living room is close to done.

- vacuumed most of the carpet
- dusted a bit more
- put things away

I have a dilemma pile of tv/vcr remotes, I dunno, maybe a dozen of them. They were on a shelf behind a chair. I KNOW I don't need all these. They are dusty and who knows what works with what. I started out by lining them up and taking out 3 that I know are universal/newer to save. Out of what's left I found 2 duplicates and put them in the donation bin. Now I have like 7 left. I keep thinking the minute I donate one, I will find what I needed it for. I dunno. I think I will look at the tvs in my house and just keep the remotes that match that brand.

Also I ran errands and Teen is home so I hope that goes well.