Checking in after a long day followed by a long nap. I need to shower and get the dishwasher running. The cleaners were here today but I was in meetings from morning to night so I never saw them. They were just a blur.

Hope everyone is doing okay! BF has convinced me to keep my dinosaur costume but honestly I don't know where to put it. I'm so picky now. I may just put in the trunk of my car.

WHICH REMINDS ME I did something very hard and long overdue on Tuesday. I have two bins in front of my garage parking stuff. Stuffed animals from childhood (some must've belonged to my siblings) as well as clothes that belonged to my mother. I threw everything out with the exception of two of mom's dresses and one pantsuit. I also grabbed my sister's Stieff owl and I'll send it to her. I didn't check the rest. It was time. And so they are gone. I did it fast and quick and with no real thought. I had to do it. This is all from when I got rid of my storage space in Nov 2014. And so I got through the stuff in about five minutes and called it a day. Had to be done. There are addicts now hanging in my garage and someone had opened one of the bins. I had noticed some drug paraphernalia by my car one day. Someone keeps breaking the garage door and then anyone can just start to hang there. Sometimes the people breaking the door are people looking to park in the empty places.

I only go to my car during the day and it is next to BF's office so I feel safe. Anyway, I did it and it is done.

Shoring you up, SubC. Even though we aren't having true conversations Fiona, I find each person's posts to be very helpful. I'm glad your husband cleared out the garage. I know this is upsetting. Hang in there.

Tatoulia, I have to gloss over that right now, but I am glad you have weight lifted from you.

Dh accepted a bid to replace our crumbling garage floor. Which means that soon I will have a hard deadline to empty the garage. And it is cold.

My inlaws arrive tomorrow and don't leave until Monday morning.

Yesterday a much loved former student who is not in my classes this year told me he is a senior, not a junior as I believed. Which means he will never be in my class again. I am sad about that.

I am, however, really happy about the new round of vaccines! I hope a lot of my kids will get vaccinated. I have decided that in January (after break) I am going to stop interrupting class to remind people to cover their noses.

Hi all,

Much for me to catch up on! I will share a couple big deal accomplishments:

1) did a quick turn around on getting a neck X-ray for my son.

2) scheduled his neuro appt.

3) scheduled an eye exam for myself and am going there this am.

Much anxiety right now due to upcoming school meetings and medical stuff...

Decided the other day I really need to start journaling again also. Was that sub c or cm? And then once I got to thinking of that decided it's time for a new vision board. I used to be way into it and even started doing small workshops. I can't tell you exactly what happened but I've been totally disconnected from that practice for several years I think.

More on that later. I'm going to double back and read up!

SubC, how much stuff is in the garage? What types of things are in there? I can understand the anxiety caused by suddenly having a deadline. When is the work supposed to start?

The students grow up so fast! It's very sweet to hear of your attachment to them. I am sure they care about you and that you are making an impact in their lives.

Oh sad face. I had such a good lil post going and then my iPad died.

I did copy the toad typo though. I love toads so why not.

I think I was saying I wish you guys could see my expressions while I'm reading through posts... the chuckling, the "oh gurl I been there"s, the gasps, the empathizing, and the full on guffaws!

I don't know if I ever mentioned this but in this ww board I used to belong to, one woman became convinced I was Jen Lancaster. I would wave it off like no, I wish... she's doing pretty well now, etc. but she really didn't believe me until we all finally got together IRL for a retreat.

Lila, I do "speed rounds" too. I aim for 15 minute chunks and if it's something particularly gruesome like going through medical paperwork or sifting through mixed paperwork and garbage... I will do shorter times. I feel like when I do it it builds momentum and I end up doing a few hours worth done that I probably wouldn't have otherwise. Sometimes I set a timer, and free form scurry around doing rando things that need to get done. Might be humming flight of the bumblebees. Maybe.

The family invited themselves over Sunday for dinner. They are going to force me into this new phase of life like it

We are waiting to hear back about the schedule, but the guy said they were looking for work right now, so I anticipate it being soon.

90% of the things in the garage will not be hard to relocate. He will want to put the outdoor furniture and storage shelving in the studio barn, but I am going to insist on his empty space in the new basement area. He can suffer through that for the "only a few days" he promised this would take.

But the other 10% is stuff that is there because I need to wash it. In the yard. With the hose. Before I put it away where it should be. And I ignored it all fall. And now it is cold. Maybe 4 hours of work? It's just cold.

Or not! Haha.

<<bridge story for another day>>

On my big genealogy printout project, I finished all the great grandparents now and am working on the 2x. I wasn't sure if I'd do that but I kind of have a system now and even though it's time consuming, it's not boring because I am reading and re reading things I've forgotten, etc. and we do actually have quite a bit of info on most of them. But when this phase is done I will definitely go back into writing/reporting mode in order to share with people. I've made some videos which is a fun process for me, and is easily shareable. I would like to also be able to send some pdf "booklets" out but I really need to replace my computer to do that because I would want to design it and make it look pretty.

Well, still "defending my floor space" and am gradually working up to cleaning out under the bed. One day I will just up and do it and be done with it.

That does sound miserable, SubC. First you're worried about your barn space and second, us8ng a hose to wash off stuff in the cold? Absolutely miserable. I'm so sorry.

Hi, I'm back again. I went to the eye drs. All went well. I was afraid of various things but they were all mostly baseless. Nothing wrong with my eyes other than getting older so luckily I didn't do too much damage totally abusing and neglecting my vision the last 6 years. Picked out some (Slightly) sassy frames and walked out of there with hardly a dent in my credit card and a huge sense of relief.

Next up, need to get puppy's stitches out from getting fixed and then schedule her a grooming appt as it seems she has very high maintenance hair...

Also high priority and high anxiety and high avoidance... iep stuff. I can't even discuss it. In fact, I think I'd rather try to schedule another drs appt than deal with it.

How every body?

Quick check in. Got my flu shot last night. Became extremely tired around 5 PM tonight and went to bed. Now up just in time to go back to bed.

I have so much recycling to take out tmr. Yes we gain an hour but the loss of sunshine will be brutal.

Good evening all!

Hello troad. I am the journaler, CM is a writer.

Nice job getting inexpensive glasses! Mine are dreadful even with some insurance.

I have a love hate relationship with IEPs. For one, I think every child should have one. And in contrast, I think all the documentation and hoop jumping is a dreadful waste of time. Because the place I teach is not legally a school, we don't have to honor them, so I only have to participate in them when a child is reentering formal schooling. It seems like the schools never want to know the things I find most important about the kids. Otoh, I have pages and pages of email conversations with some parents that actually serve the purpose for which the IEPs are intended. And are so much more flexible...

Keep defending your space!

My garage has no floor.

Hello everyone!

I went to mom, found her glasses, did a load of he4 laundry, and I mounted her ironing boarD with the new hooks I bought. I'm now back home and doing a quick load of my own laundry. I don't like doing too much laundry because then I cannot stop and then the day is lost. I took out about half of my recycling.

I do small loads. I like my things properly sorted by color and weight. Time consuming but worth it.

I have to do mom's groceries then a few of my own and visit BF.

What are you doing today?

Hullo people.

Well, good news is I scheduled my dogs stitches thing and grooming as one thing. I forgot the clinic does grooming. So she will get that done Saturday. Check check.

Bad news is I heard back from the doctor about my sons X-ray and there was something wrong with it. Luckily we are already going to see a neurologist in a few weeks but this means he will be excluded from his special olympics basketball team which will be very disappointing seeing as how it just started and he's been waiting for two years for this. Best case scenario is they read it wrong or did the X-ray wrong and he's absolutely fine. Worst case scenario likely requires surgery and puts him in a high risk category for spinal injury. So this day really took a nose dive. I was already worried he had a brain tumor. This parenting thing is not for sissies. And I'm a sissy. I guess we will see this neurologist and he will prob order an mri Or something and we will go from there. As the day progressed it seemed more likely that he didn't need to have this X-ray after all, that the dr. Made a mistake and misunderstood the requirements and so I was ticked about that but then I thought if there really is something wrong we probably wouldn't have caught it if we hadn't had to get this X-ray done. Now if there's a major issue we can deal with it at least.

Alright now I know as soon as I sign off someone else will walk in and be stuck talking to them selves all day tomorrow. Lol.

Laundry is still molding as I type.

I am here and I am safe and well! Thank you everyone!

My promotion in April has changed my availability and my stress levels. I had a good day Friday but a hard day Thursday. A victory on Thursday, though: I was melting down at the office (rare for me, a lot of things were going wrong and I had a new laptop that was not working properly on top of it) and someone offered me Halloween candy and it didn't even sound like something I would want. Sweets weren't going to be my coping mechanism. I did have a small container of apple cider, so I enjoyed that instead. Also, earlier in the day, they were handing out individually wrapped cider donuts and I didn't take any. I love cider donuts. I wasn't overly stressed at that particular time in the day. So essentially my relaxation tapes (now that I'm listening to them) have sunk in. I had two opportunities for some treats and it didn't even feel like a struggle. It was just an automatic "no, thank you." Last night when I was the last person in the office at 7 PM, I didn't need touch the various candies etc. that were around. so I'm feeling better about myself.

The promotion is hard. My unit is a mess. I had a new temp this week and so far, so good. I have posted a full time position for my unit and I am also interviewing interns for January. So that is going on. I am hoping to see some internal candidates for my full time position and I also hope my temp works out and is a viable option.

Earlier this week I started to put something in an "interim position" instead of just putting it away and I realized the foolishness of handling it twice. So I'm being more mindful. I'm busily doing laundry today (soothing) and will put away
one of my summer thin quilts and I think it's time to bring the comforter and duvet out. It's chilly here. I have to figure out if I should put both summer thin quilts away for now. Generally one stays on my bed as an extra layer year round.

My disposal broke. Did I tell you this? It's been here since I bought the place 26 years ago so I'm having it replaced instead of fooling around with it til it works. That will take place on Monday.

I am going to switch it my laundry, then make a cup of coffee, and settle in for some reading so I can see how everyone is doing!

I am learning from you all, to not try and read every reply and then post. I forget what I want to say! So I've read some of the posts and am answering.

Tatoulia, it sounds like a pretty nice Halloween. And so cute about the dino costume! I have not ever dressed in a costume, that I can recall. Even as a child I was not allowed. But I did get to take my grandd to a party and she was dressed up and cute! So fun. And exhausting - as I am an introvert. I have spent today so far sitting on the couch watching tv. I am drinking coffee now and hope coming here plus caffeine will move me to get some more decluttering done.

Road, I so appreciate all your sharing. I too wish we all lived near each other. Wouldn't it be lovely if we could help each other? Hang out and talk in person? Cheer on the decluttering. This board is very helpful to me. I come when I am stuck, and I get moved into action even just a little bit.

Let me talk about the problem with clothing a little bit. It's a long standing problem so any feedback is welcome.
I hate to admit this but I have gained and lost 100 pounds twice and am now on the gaining end (up about 70). The first time I lost the weight, I got rid of everything too big as soon as I shrunk out of those sizes. I bought all new cuter clothes. I was at my low weight for about a year and then regained. As I regained, I had absolutely nothing to wear!! I had to get donated stuff, shop thrift stores, and buy new... which was humiliating and our finances were going down too. When I lost the weight a second time I was terrified to get rid of the too big clothes but I did it.

So all the smaller sized items are fairly new (I did this gain/lose 100 pounds twice in the past 7 years). When I started to gain this time it was slower but I hung and boxed all the newish smaller clothes. I had to again re-buy bigger sizes and this time it was a real burden. We had very little free income. But I needed clothes.

So now I have clothing that is almost all relatively new, in sizes from women's Medium tops/14 jeans (some 12's were goal pants) all the way to my current XL and 1X tops and 20W pants. The sweaters fit a long time even as I lose weight so I tend to hang onto those longer. The smaller sizes are in two rubbermaid tubs in the family room (these are the ones I recently sorted as there were 3 or 4 tubs). Then, in my bedroom I have:

closet: one side is currently fitting and one size too small; the other side is sentimental items too small but I won't get rid of - there are only 8 or so of these items.

Tub under the bed: summer clothes that fit or are one size too small.

Big dresser: pajamas too small and some other clothes too small, but all within 25 pounds or so. I did donate a few things out of there this time around.

3 tall dressers: bras and underwear that are 1 - 2 sizes too small. Jeans size 16 through 20. Brand new leggings in current and one size down. Socks and underwear that fit. Dress pants. Shapewear in current size and one size down. Current pajamas (I did donate a few items out of here also this time around). Sweaters that fit and one size too small.

What I don't get is that I generally wear the same things every week. I have one pair of jeans that fits well and I just keep washing/wearing, waiting to lose 10 pounds so the next ones fit. I wear the same 2 shirts 90% of the time at home, and the same 3 shirts if I go out. All the rest is waiting for me to lose weight. Which my doctor says I must do... and I can't get rid of smaller clothes since this time I have no money to buy anything new.

Sigh.

Found it!

Hey everyone I just started to read these threads. Road, you are awesome. I hope your husband is doing well. Thank you for shoring up SubC. Okay back to reading.

SubC, good job on the SMALL souvenirs! That is hard for me. I will try and get the foundation laid for mailing the pictures etc to my son. We have a rocky, strained relationship for several reasons. He has autism (as does my youngest) but he is a genius. We can go months and never talk (he lives across the country) and sometimes I call and he is gruff and distant, other times very talkative and happy. I called him yesterday and he was cheery. Now I need to call or text again and ask for his new address. He moved this year and for some reason is very weird/stingy about giving info out. I know it makes no sense. I hope if I tell him I am sending some things he will be glad. If he says to just throw it all away I won't know what to do. Well, no sense getting ahead of myself... if I can get the address, I will send him the photos. I decided to send in two boxes, so that if one is lost, not everything is gone. I'll just split things up evenly so that even one box would have memories from most years of his childhood.

If he doesn't give me the address, I could mail them to his dad's house. He lives maybe an hour away and will probably see him over the holidays.

Roads,

Thank you for sharing about your son. There is something chaotic about having a child who is not always emotionally stable. I went through it with my oldest and now with my youngest (girl). She went all summer without a huge blowup and it was so nice that I let my guard down and started leaving some fragile items out. Then she blew up and started throwing things and knocking things down, so I had to go back and gather all the glass etc and put them back into boxes in my room. I HATE having boxes of fragile things in my bedroom. I trip over them. I put the actual dishes in a tub in the garage but there are irregular shaped mugs, pyrex etc that don't stack, in cardboard boxes in my room and I really hate it as it reminds me every day of my child's explosiveness and the pain it causes. There are kitchen knives in there too.

Thinking about going in my room and trying to consolidate a few things and maybe fine more to donate. I have two bookshelves in there. I may take a look and see if any can be donated, to make room for those tubs of books I have in there.

Way to go, SubC!

Guess we better set out the snacks before the others arrive!

Lila, I have read your posts but not everyone's, so forgive me if I duplicate what others have said. Since I'm so far behind, I decided to read one person's at a time.

First off: you are doing great! It is a pity that the loveseat didn't go before your husband returned. I know he's piling stuff on it but don't focus on that. As soon as loveseat goes, you'll take the stuff off.

Let's look at your bedroom. One thing I want you to know that all your "keepers" right now won't be your "keepers" tomorrow. They are today. So you will be seeing more go. For now, you are working on easier stuff. Trust me, and trust others. I am shocked on a continual basis of what is imperative to keep becomes a, time to go. So trust the process. It gets easier. You are building muscle.

So I am going to suggest you decide to get rid of one piece of furniture in your room. NOT BEING HURTFUL. You have three nightstands. Would a nightstand be a good place to start? I know all three are filled. I would venture a guess that if you took one drawer of one nightstand, you'll find you can get rid of half of the stuff. Even if you've gone through it recently. I won't judge you if you go into the drawer and decide it's all keepers. But try it. I have a sneaking suspicion that's there's at least one pen that no longer works that you can get rid of. Or maybe a highlighter and let's face it, no one uses highlighters. No one. (Don't yell at me, teachers!).

Let me know if this sounds like a good idea and if not does this idea help you think of some other goal to set? I'd like to think that the goal of getting rid of one nightstand will help you cope.

If you had told me when I started that I'd get rid of 20 boxes of books and still have too many, I'd call you nuts. But here I was , this summer, making more and more decisions on books with the help of my friend. She offered no input on what to keep in terms of books. She showed me them and told me to decide. And I was amazed and pleased with myself. Remember that I am eight years into this journey at this point. So it does get easier.

Let me know your thoughts. Here for you.

I know I am posting a lot... I need it to keep going with the declutter!

So I texted my son and he did not respond yet. But I went through my 2 drawers and huge pile in a cabinet and sorted out all his sport and elementary school pictures, took one out for me to keep and put the rest in a tub to prepare to mail in a box later. I also went through the photos of him with his siblings and took one or two out of each to send to him as well. I have one big heavy album that is just his (I did one for each kid and one family album). I still need to go through his 'special' box but will do that soon. I have a cardboard box for each of my children from when they were babies. In the box is everything from their hospital wristband and card, to their footprints, to their very first scribbles and drawings and special art of essays through their school years. It is a lot of stuff in a small box, per kid. I plan to go through (probably cry), maybe save one or two things, take pics of anything special, throw out some and mail him the rest.

This is HARD but I need to do it. It is stupid to save all this stuff when my son is an adult with a family and a house. If I died it would probably never get to him. I want my affairs in order. I want him to have photos from his childhood. I don't just want someone going through my piles and piles of junk and not noticing there are important things and just throwing it all away. So I better deal with it while I can, right?

I'm bringing ice cream. Just cooked up another batch to freeze tomorrow.

These are the good things I did today:
I took good care of Bean and we had fun.

I put the wagon away after we used it.

I put clean underwear away in the drawers plus some other clean laundry equaling two baskets.

Bean and I picked peppers I grew for dinner. (I also grew the basil)

I unloaded, loaded, and started the dishwasher.

When dd called and asked if she could finish off her work day at my house I managed to clear one end of the porch table for her to work in privacy.

I washed and hung a load of laundry.

I set up the coffee for tomorrow, i remembered my vitamin, and I made the ice cream.

Hello friends. I have today truly "off" so I am home and have sat on the couch watching tv and drinking coffee all morning. But it is almost 12:30 so I know I want to use some of my time wisely, to clean and organize and maybe to read a book or something.

Processing suggestions:
SubC, thank you. Yes, the inflow is better. But when you asked that I realized I am now, instead of spending money on new stuff, am spending it on fast food and takeout. I have gotten in a terrible habit of doing that almost daily when I can't afford it. This is resulted in weight gain and lost money. I need to stop that. Funny thing, I was JUST yesterday making plans to go out clothes shopping next week, AND making plans to go buy some more dog food, toys, and treats. Now you asked and it stops me in my tracks - what is going on with this?? The two things I have way way too much of and instead of organizing, urging, or using it, I am thinking about buying more!! And I have no where to put it! Do any of you have experience with this? At least now it is in my conscious awareness and I will NOT buy more of those things... but I still feel driven to and not sure why.

The clothes in my closet... 90% of them have not been worn in a couple years since I gained weight. I had a hysterectomy and then an injury so in the last 2 years I gained weight and can't wear any of those clothes. I also have bins of clothes downstairs that are too small - I did sort them and donated some to consolidate this month. But what I am wearing are clothes in the drawers and clothes draped and piled over the rocking chair. Can't get to the closet to hang them up. Maybe that should be goal 1? Path to the closet? Path to the dressers? And yes... donate more of the clothes. So hard for me, but I will try today.

I have been in my house 25 years with all the art in boxes. Good lord. I don't know what is wrong with me. I will try.

I like your list of good things you did today.

I managed to sort a teeny bit more. Got my son to help me, and loaded into my car for donation:
big box of toys, books, and misc
big bag of clothes
3 bags of clothes a friend gave me
that box of pretty dishes from the garage
a small bag of more books
a toy that my grandchild outgrew

One big thing is that I now have 6 empty tubs in the family room. There is no where to put them, so I will have to take them to the garage and put items in them until I am ready to donate more.

I also listed the loveseat for free (no bites yet) and the bed/mattress/box springs for free (someone is supposed to come get that before Weds).

There is a big, thick comforter in my room taking up a lot of space. I'm going to offer it to my dd and if she doesn't want it, it is getting donated as well.

Tired but I did get some things done, finally.

Processing suggestions, part 2:
H Tatoulia! Good to see you. Thank you for taking the time to help me.
When you mentioned getting rid of a nightstand I almost audibly gasped. omg how could I? But then I thought about how on the Hoaders shows the psych suggests things and the person is super resistant and they have to work through it. What feelings come up: an empty space in the bedroom. I don't want an empty space in the bedroom. And then my thoughts are filled with the people I have shared the bedroom with: an exhusband, and a beloved dear to me exboyfriend, and the current husband who no longer sleeps there and does not share the room with me now. The first two have passed away. All 3 of those men, the memories of them being in the bedroom are of better times, times I was not alone. And when I think of them not being there, I am filled with grief. Could it be that this is part of why I do not want ANY empty space in my bedroom? I can't stand the void? I don't want to be alone?

Thank you for prompting this. I will think about it while I am working on my room today. But I am shocked I never noticed how terribly sad and anxious 'empty space in my room' makes me. I might have to have a good cry in there as I clear space.

Not up to date at all. Sorry to hear of SubC accident. Just stopping to say thank you for making the new thread CM. Very fancy with the hyperlink. Goodnight all.

I did not finish reading everyone's posts today. I did get a bunch of stuff done including working on mom's house and doing her grocery shopping.

Interesting insight on empty space, Lila. Just don't confuse empty space with emptiness. Live with my suggestion a bit then reject or modify or embrace as you see fit. I am on your side.

Speaking of hoarders, when my friend was cleaning out my closets, at one point I said this is where I have to go talk to Dr Robin Zazio.

Lila, that is terrific!

You say you have nowhere to put the empty tubs - do you have things stored in boxes or otherwise that would be better in tubs? Can you tidy your dh's hoard into tubs and just slowly wall off his room? Are the tubs being saved for some other purpose? or do they just need to go? Imagine labeling a tub "donate" and just tossing things in until it is full and then donating the whole thing!

I left off one more good thing yesterday - I cleaned up Bean's toys as soon as he left. Dh appreciates that.

I think I am going to try to put lists of good things in my journal. I haven't bern journaling much lately, and I tend to write all the bad, stressful stuff.

So far today I did yoga, made Dh breakfast, packed his lunch, and emptied the dishwasher. Now finishing my breakfast and then I will start the ice cream maker, put some sweaters in to soak (Dh scrubbed the sink for me last night), and do chores.

part 3: tiny bits of progress.

Today I made a path to the closet. I tried to sort it and found one shirt to donate. I hung up a pile of shirts that was on the other side of the room.

I went through a few dresser drawers and donated 2 items. I hung up a few more things. I donated one towel I found with holes in it.

I put two tubs on the bed and labelled one special and one plain. I picked up books from all over the room, in boxes, in piles, in tubs and I sorted them into those two boxes. I also donated about 3 books and put a stack of 5 by my bed to read. I have 3 that were loaned to me that I will return.

This was not a lot of movement, but it was exhausting.