Tatoulia,

It was ok. I'm just sad for the kid. My boss told me today that my email was "perfect". She is generally supportive, but this may be the first time since high school anyone has referred to any of my work as "perfect" so that was comforting.

I have been doing some reflection and analysis and I have come to the conclusion that I crash on Thursdays. It seems to be a pattern - strong start to the week, crash on Thursday, coast through Friday, recover over the weekend, repeat. I think maybe I need to spend some time working on Thursday and Friday ahead of time so that even if I don't get as many extra things done early in the week, the crash is less hard.

I got a dozen new dish cloths and a box of toys that I bought on clearance after Christmas in the mail today. The toys are to give Bean slowly over time. The dishcloths are definitely a net in though, I need to purge some ratty ones.

Lila, Lila, Lila!

I missed you. 🙂

I am so sorry about your home being invaded! I know it can take a long time to feel settled and safe again after something like that!

Excellent job on the living room!

I slept far too late again this morning.

I feel crushed under the weight of the evaluations. I know I have to do them. I know I will feel better when they are done. I am just struggling to find the strength to push through.

I stayed to do them last night and it took me a long time to get set up and started (i procrasticleaned in my classroom) then I got on a roll, but 4 in I looked up and realized the snow was sticking to the roofs outside and it would be dark soon - so home went Subclinical.

Starting and stopping things is really hard for me. I've been reading a really interesting research article on that trait in autistics. It's interesting because I relate to it and it has some possible coping suggestions. It's also long and technical, so I am reading (and rereading) a little at a time.

Ps CM great work! That's a lot, taking care of the animules!

SubC I have to write the three evaluations for my employees this week. My fourth employee is too new to be evaluated this year.

Oh wow, lots of you or family have been sick - hope all will be better soon!

Roommate and I are still having the post Covid dry annoying cough. She has it worse because everything respiratory hits her hard. Otherwise we're doing okay.

I'm trying to regain equilibrium. Wednesday night into Thursday morning I was watching the livestream of Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI's funeral. So I knew I would be jet lagged! Slept till nearly 2:00 p.m. Thursday. Had a small migraine Thursday evening while roommate and I were watching TV. I do believe erratic sleep is one of my migraine triggers. But all they are really anymore is an aura that lasts 45 minutes to an hour, then when the visual weirdness ends, most of the time that's it, no headache.

I got some things done on Tuesday which was payday; spoke to the manager of the storage unit place and she was really nice. They are planning to do some work on the concrete which might also help where the water tends to pool in front of my unit the most of any of them. And the gutters. I had photos of where the rusted out place is that lets water drip on my head. Concrete work won't be able to be done till warmer weather, but at least if I know it's planned. (Wouldn't it be great if I could just win the lottery, buy a house, have my minimalist studio/residence, and never need a storage unit again, lol?)

Meanwhile, until the lottery comes through, I'm making my poco a poco progress. Pulled out another couple of games from storage, and a few more books. The books are ones that I can part with to the senior center. The games may be donated there or carried back and forth (nice Mexican Train domino set I bought a few years ago which is compact enough to live in my van and I could take it there when I want to play).

These things don't sound like much, but are part of an overall shift which is promising. I'm also doing some in my bedroom which has been such a disaster. It's just in the early stages, but I am hoping to deal with several years' worth of entropy and chaos there.

The shift is simply that I feel more like doing it, like I have the mental bandwidth again and a little energy, and that certain possessions have ceased to feel like they belong in the category of "Mine." What I mean by that is, say I have a copy of a certain book. For many years, that was my copy of that book, and my book collection needed to have it in it. But now a lot of them don't feel like they are as relevant to my current life.

For example, when my parents died in the 00s, I bought a slew of books on grief. Well, Mom and Dad have been deceased long enough now that I am really not needing those books - yet for a long time I guess I thought I might want to refer back to them or something? Because they were really well written, etc.? Or perhaps I even had some vague passing notion of ministering to grieving people. But no. It's a different time, I have different concerns, and such books are more available in non-physical formats anyway. So someone else can be blessed with them now. They will do much more good out in the world than bundled away in a dank storage unit.

Growing up, I just looked at all kinds of items as having some sort of, what to call it, "destiny?" to be my or my family's property. Even silly little things like a particular wallet or nail file or set of drink glasses, piece of furniture - it was OUR red wallet, our drink glasses, our green sofa. Although sometimes we did sell the bigger things and get different ones - but then those became ours in the same way. I guess it's just the comforting familiarity? Whatever it was/is, for some reason in my little noggin, that took on too much importance, I guess.

Anyhow, I'm seeing this "importance of ownership" in my attitude to lots of things that I possess, but the good news is that it is undergoing that shift. I don't have to have this copy of this book, or this sweater, or whatever, just because I've had it for X number of years. It's just a thing. I can decide afresh whether it's a thing that I want/need in my life, or whether the space would be nicer to have instead.

Well, I guess that's all for Critical Mass on The Phenomenology of Possessions for one day.

Another thing that I'll just briefly mention, and that is I just want to get to the point where there isn't so much stuff in piles to knock over. Had another crazy time last night, just when things had been going semi-smoothly. A bottle of hand sanitizer from early in the pandemic - remember when companies were scrambling to make it out of whatever alcohol they could find? This stuff was thin, 80% alcohol, very strong smelling - and I had been using it to clean ink, which it did quite well - but then somehow unbeknownst to me the bottle tipped over onto the carpet! IT STUNK TO HIGH HEAVEN and my poor roommate was coughing her lungs out. I felt so bad! Plus of course it had to make a mess in a place on the rug that had junk piled nearby, and was a pain in the butt to clean up.

So that all was not good for my mood at all. I've been aware for quite some time that clutter begets more clutter, and one of the easiest ways it does that is by causing spills and avalanches. Especially in this small overcrowded house. It can get very discouraging, because I can have a success and then bump into something and make twice the mess I had managed to fix. Being an ADHD klutz too doesn't help, nor does the weight I've regained - I have lost a sense of when I have clearance not to bump into furniture. I'm going to be losing that weight though, I mean to do it. It's not that much, but just enough to change my spatial sense if you know what I mean. The exercise to help with the weight will surely also help me be more graceful. One can hope.

So anyway, this post has been another hodgepodge of scattered thoughts, but I just had been meaning to check in, so it'll do for now.

Poco a poco, ladies!

Hello everyone!

Lila, that is so upsetting. Very upsetting. I would feel invaded. Yes on changing the locks! What a bizarre situation.

Tell me more about stopping and starting, SubC. That is an interesting topic.

I stayed at work past 8 last night. There were fires to be put out and I handled them well.

The person at work being mean apologized in writing (I had called his manager to say that I will not be talked to that way and that his employee is not embodying out core values). I had ignored that aspect of it and sent a new email to everyone just dealing with the issue at hand and not the rudeness. I didn't want the person's nastiness to be part of the email chain. In response, the person sent a sincere thank you. We corresponded quite a bit into the night while I tried to solve the work problem. Yesterday he video called me again to apologize. So I thanked him for being a gentleman and was glad to have that resolved.

I didn't visit my mother yesterday. I ended up taking the subway home and even though I was right there, I decided to just go home.

Good morning.

I am tired. I am slow.

The tracking says my chicks will come tomorrow.

I had three evaluations from yesterday that I could not finish because I need to check in with the student in question about missing work. Hopefully all three students will be in class today, because today is my last chance. I have six evaluations I have to finish tonight because I could have the same problem on any of them (but don't expect it) so that is 9 today. I will be staying late at school.

Then I have to go down to the clay studio and return a form my teacher didn't stop me from borrowing. (Studio policy is that the forms don't leave the studio. My project was too wet to remove and the studio was closing - she knows I'm a teacher and couldn't come back in the morning to remove it and finish it before it over dried and cracked. She said "I don't see anything".) so I also need to finish that project today. It will be a late night.

I also still need to do prep for classes tomorrow.

I recycled a bunch of paper when I was getting ready for school yesterday.

Hi all, just checking in. Have been feeling very good last couple days. Very little pain. No pain meds. Only issue is I am still really tired and not sleeping well. I finally lost the last of the built up fluid and the expected couple pounds from being sick and basically not eating for a week. So now I am officially not worried any more. I was a little sloppier with what I ate yesterday and I did have some stomach or left flank pain so I will try to be careful still.

The H and I tangled a bit today over responsibilities and his feeling overwhelmed. It does not compute for him that one reason he feels overwhelmed is he has been temporarily doing both our jobs because he really does seem to believe I don't do anything. I hear subc's sage advice from long ago Ringing in my ears... how can he believe when up to now there hasn't been a basis for trust (paraphrasing) so I try to be patient because I know there is truth to that. However, as I do progress my suspicion that he has a blind spot to any Progress is proving out. Luckily for me (?) I have photographic proof.

I had intended to take over all the paperwork/process for my sons social security and other adulthood documents and interface with various agencies/entities, but with my ADD that stuff is challenging and It just seemed like I was repeatedly getting knocked down by health issues... but now I am taking it over. I set up a binder, adding pockets and dividers, Started printing and filling out some documents... etc. it's a very complex process so it requires some org. Luckily the social worker At my sons school is great - very knowledgeable and proactive getting everyone where they need to be so I have help.

I am now officially glad the guys are back to school tomorrow.

So - I decided not to keep the foam mattress I was trying out. I want a conventional, firm box spring and mattress. Any recommendations? How do you guys all go about getting new mattresses?

Tatoulia, There is an actual physical inertia that is really strong.

Autistics (and my undiagnosed potentially borderline self) fall into a deep groove where it is very hard to stop and change direction. Even if the thing you are "stopping" is doing nothing. Even if the thing you are stopping is unpleasant.

It's as if your battery is dead in your car. Your brain is the key, and it turns (ok, I really want to get started on these evaluations) and then "click, click, click" nothing happens. It's not that you are deciding to put the thing off, it's that you are deciding to do the thing but your body just won't do it. You need some kind of external stimulus (jump start) to make yourself go.

It's weird, because sometimes you can use your brain to create the external jump start, which is one of the things I'm trying to learn to do. So you explain to yourself ok, I am going to get up, get my notes, and work on the evaluations as soon as the cuckoo clock cuckoos. That's my transition point. Cuckoo - evaluations. And then you sit there for five more minutes, and the cuckoo pops out, and brrrrmmmm, the key turns, the motor starts, and off you go.

Then, I was writing evaluations and my body hadn't moved for a long time and I thought "my legs are going to sleep. This is uncomfortable. I really need to get up and move." Nope. Ok. 2:00 even if I'm in the middle of a word, I stand up. And I did.

Stress makes the inertia worse.

I'm also trying to enlist Dh "if you get home and I am on my computer not working, please take it away for five minutes."

Hi road! Glad you are feeling better!

We just go to the store and lie on them.

CM, glad your unit will be getting the work done and you feel like you are making progress.

The stuff in piles that falls over is the sort of thing I mean by the "high interest" stuff. If we can get rid of the pile, we will gain back so much extra time that we are spending dodging around it and stacking it back up..

I feel like I made some progress this weekend, but it was all temporary progress - rest, laundry, dishes, baked bread. Nothing that will last the week, or possibly even the day.

I pick Bean up this morning and then the farm sitter is dropping her three until lunch time - likely to make a big dent in the bread and the rest. Dishes are actually already piled up, just not as bad as yesterday.

Off to do my chores and pick up the floor a bit before the big play date!

Interesting. I have a real physical inertia problem as well. I often think, ' a body at rest tends to stay at rest' sums up my life. I think and decide and then just... don't move. Maybe if the doorbell rings, or my houseguest walks in and asks me to do something, it might trigger me to get up. Or it might not. I have said "no thanks" to very nice invitations from friends and family, like 'will you play a game with me?' and then later I regret it so much that I cry. I often drink coffee/caffeine to try and force myself out of the inertia. It works less often than it used to. A side note, two of my kids are on the spectrum.

I have so much to do and I struggle to get any of it done. But, tonight Tot and Acorn and parents are coming for dinner, so I have to clean off the table and make dinner. But I sit here at 3:00 thinking, ugh. And not moving. I just drank a half cup of coffee to see if that helps. But I feel like an actual rock on the ground. How the heck can a rock get up and move?

Anyway, when houseguest arrives back from the store they will want to help me cook and prep, and that will be my 'push' to get up off this couch and start clearing the table and cooking.

I wish there was a written guide to digging out of the clutter. I know there are books, but I don't have any desire to read books. I want a list. Do this first, do that next. I want a promise from someone that if I get rid of all the 'just-in-case' things I've saved, I won't suffer from not having them. I want to have enough money that those things don't matter anymore. Having 6 pairs of sneakers that I never wear 'just-in-case' I am so broke I cannot afford shoes (which has happened, and really with my very part time job and very limited income, is a possibility) is no fun and is actually clutter in my bedroom that drains me terribly. I saw a 'reel' online the other day that said your bedroom is a reflection of what is going on in your mind. In which case, wow, is my mind a complete wreck... disorganized, tons of stuff I can't use, not enough things I need, can't find anything. Yep, that's my mind.

Road, I'm glad you are feeling better. I've always bought my mattresses by taking my mom. She broke her back 60 years ago and I trust her mattress skills. I hate buying mattresses. I also buy the most expensive I can afford.

SubC you do have a big play date today!

I have started a second bag to goodwill. My challenge to myself is to get these bags to my car. Now that BF's office isn't just up the street, I just don't go to my car anymore. I need to get better about a lot of things in my life. Getting out more and sleeping less are two things I need to concentrate on.

Thank you both for telling me more! Very good visuals for me.

Lila, and I'm not being flippant, you do not need the just in case things. You dint. You can have one and a backup but not six. I have not needed one thing that I have gotten rid of. i may have thought of a purpose for something I got rid of, but that is not the same as needing it. I could've used it for XYZ but now that it's gone, I'm good. Clearing out the clutter has taught me that I need so much less than I thought. And open space comforts me.

The fact that I could use it someday doesn't make up for the 10 or 20 years that I hung onto the thing and did not use. It doesn't.

I understand your reluctance given you history and know that I am making this promise to you. You do not need those things. You don't. I will hold your hand, I have been thought this so I now the feeling. The Justin case stuff can go. We are living now, not later.

Sending love and hoping you can read the love in my tone of voice.

Just a few little things...

I'm finding an item here and there that I'll look at and go "Why didn't I get rid of this a long time ago?" Probably just because it camouflaged itself in the other clutter and I stopped seeing it. Now they're jumping out at me, figuratively speaking.

Also, one good consequence of the hand sanitizer spill (and thankfully it no longer reeks like grandpappy's moonshine still in the living room) is that I shifted a stack of quilting magazines I had been wanting to go through. And guess what - I'm going through them! There aren't too many; they were just the last of a bigger bunch that is already in my van ready to be dropped off at the library bookstore.

So far I've flipped through 13 of them and there are maybe a dozen more. I'm kind of reassessing where I want to go with quilting; in another post I'll elaborate on that - basically I want to simplify what quilts I decide to make. So some of the magazines that had patterns that I thought I was interested in, I decided perhaps not after all. And some I think were just loose ones that got in the batch - the ladies in the guild sometimes bring their old ones to the church and I grab a few to look at. Anyhow, made good progress there.

Made pumpkin pies yesterday since our Christmas didn't include them because we were still tired from the Covid. That gets 4 cans off the shelves in the pantry, too - 2 of pumpkin and 2 of evaporated milk. I can use the space.

Thank you Tatoulia. It brought tears to my eyes, reading what you said. I tend to feel the same, overwhelming panic I had 30 years ago when I had no money to get what I needed. I look at the stuff and just about come unglued thinking of giving it up. In fact, I keep ordering clothes off of amazon and then returning them. It is taking up a lot of my time to buy those clothes, get them, try them on, hate them, pack them back up and drive to the store to return them. And this, when I have so many clothes piled on my furniture, packed in tubs and boxes, filling every dresser and all my closet space. So I'll tell you what. I will promise not to buy anymore amazon clothes. If I have a real NEED for something, I will go to a real store, try things on and buy it. Since I hate doing that, there is no way I will do it unless I NEED it. I have 3 items I can return so I will pack those up and return them and not order anymore.

As scared as I am about the shoes, I will lean into your words and try. Last year I had more shoes... maybe some of you remember me sorting them, trying them on, walking in them, then giving away 2 or 3 pairs. I still have more. I do feel like I have to try them all on again and walk in them but I will promise to pick the ONE pair of those "extra sneaker pile" sneakers to keep and donate all the rest. Even though some are new. I have had them over a decade. Sigh.

I am going to TRY to do more of this. I think maybe a key for me is to throw the donate stuff into the back of my car and donate it right away before I start having second thoughts.

I pried myself off the couch when houseguest got home, and put a dessert (from a box) in the oven, cleared the table and wiped it off. Houseguest left to run an errand so I am back on the couch. Will start cooking together when she gets back.

What are the rest of you doing today?

Lol Tatoulia, I need to sleep more.

CM, nice job on the quilting magazines! Remember my pile of local interest magazines? They are still coming in every month, but my pile is down to ten - including the current month. I have set a goal to clear out at least two each month, so that by fall I will have only the current month.

The play date went great yesterday. I miss having a house full of little kids. It's fun and I'm good at it. The house is a mess though. I am not good at cleaning up. I remember when my kids were little. the thing is, I'm still not good at cleaning up, but before, I was doing a bunch of stuff that was more important, and now I'm just surfing the Internet.

I need to find some way to keep myself accountable and motivated in the little things. I am so frustrated with myself.

I have spent the whole day doing evaluations.

Literally:
Chores twice
3 meals
Two loads of laundry
One load of dishes
One trip with firewood
Keep the fire going
A couple of short Internet breaks

And evaluations. In the last 12 hours.

Now I am having a glass of wine.

Lila, I can give you this on the shoes - I have kept "just in case" shoes so long that the rubber/plastic on them aged and broke within the first few times of wearing. You are a kind and generous person. You will be so sad if that happens - you will still have no shoes and the person who could have used them when they were still good didn't get any shoes either.

Not ordering any more clothes off Amazon is huge. Huge! Good for you! I am super proud of you if you can do it. I am proud of you just for trying. Free your energy! Save gas! Save money!

I hope you had fun with acorn and tot!

Great work in the magazines and the newspapers, Cm and SubC! Very proud of you,

I have all my Christmas stuff on the dining room table, so that's not actual progress but it is something.

I am overwhelmed with sadness for no good reason. I mean there is a reason but it's not a good one. BF is going to go home for several months. I am so happy for him! He's got a lot of work to do there in his properties and also needs to spend some solid time with his family. He is the only one in the US. I've met two of his sisters and his brother over the years. I am so happy for him and am very excited. But then the sadness creeps in. Right now he's thinking of about five or more months. I can do this, I'm just sad about it. He doesn't have his departure date yet. The only thing I ask is that he come back. He's not selling his place here. I do not want to impose by asking if I can visit. He has not been home in 20 years. Not time for me to make it about me.

He told our friends at Christmas and they were happy for him. He said he's sure they will take care of me on my birthday if he's already left. We discussed whether my cat will still be alive and we decided that if she's still okay, then I will have my friend Emiko go with me if at some point I need to put her to sleep. Weird what the two of us are worried about.

My heart is sad but only for me. I have been sad about how much he has worked and not seen his family in so long. So now my heart doesn't need to feel sad for him. And I'll be fine. I just need to cry a lot.

Hello everyone!

Good work, SubC! I have moved my Christmas stuff to the dining table and will pack up today. Won't take long. I'll put on music and get that done.

Lila, when I first stopped buying random stuff, I would shop on line, put in my cart, then slowly remove the stuff from my cart and delete it all. You can tell by looking and experience how cheaply the clothes are made and how the fabrics are going to be hot and sticky. The stuff in your home was purchased when things were made better and with better fabrics. So give it a whirl! Shop those piles at home!

I liked Subc's thoughts re the shoes not working out in the end due to age. So see what you can do. I like your plan!

My issue was never clothes. I have never been a clothes horse I buy the most expensive well made clothes I can and have very few. It's the way my mother had us do things and it stuck. Now to lose another 20 so those beautiful three dresses I bought in March of 2020 will fit! Some I didn't wear because of the pandemic! Would be a thrill to wear one for this year's March birthday!

This isn't an easy thing but I stopped buying off of Amazon about four to five years ago. Listen, I love my kindle and get my ebooks there. I have Amazon prime for the video and my brother uses it to buy his things. I am fortunate to have easy access in the city to things that I want and I have the lifestyle to support buying local and at a higher price. I know the luxury of this and I do not judge people who buy from Amazon. I am so unhappy with the quality of goods and I have always enjoyed second hand stuff.

My goal today is to put away Christmas stuff. Yes it's 120P and I'm having my first cup of tea.

Tatoulia, that is a good reason to be sad.

You will miss your bf. It is both possible and reasonable to be happy for someone else and sad at the same time. I know. I've got two kids who have good lives in other states.

5 months is a long time, but it will go faster than you think. We will keep you busy taking care of us.

Yesterday was a struggle and I was tired and my head ached, but I got all the wednesday notebooks checked (well, I have six kids who didn't turn them in - so, conversations on that today) and I have most of today's lesson plans done and on the board (a little easy prep to go)

I thought about skipping my own class, but it was the first night, so I decided to push through and go for the intro and demonstrations. I'm glad I did, because once I got to the studio, my headache slowly went away, and I ended up staying and making a little hanging bowl and getting a lot of good ideas.

And I feel better about myself today because I succeeded at some hard things.

I got a catalog in the mail yesterday with some very pretty and absurdly expensive things in it. I'm keeping it for a while for some inspiration for my clay work.

Hello everyone!

Slept hard and late again. Woke up from a very detailed dream involving my mom's family and stuff and my cousin who has always been my "big sister". Thinking it over after I woke up made me cry a little. I tried to call my cousin but she never answers her phone.

Doing evaluations again. I recycled some paper. I have finished my base goal and am two short of my midrange goal. I may make at least some progress toward the stretch goal today. Otoh, house is a mess and Bean is coming in two hours..

Good morning.

I am trying very hard not to crash today. I am wishing I had given myself one more hour of sleep though.

Yesterday I did pretty well. For a start I went the whole day without having a headache. I'm trying to pay attention to my water intake. I remembered my vitamin. I taught all day (including adding a new student), loaded the kiln, loaded and ran the dishwasher, cut Dh hair, and ran a load of wash - I put it in the dryer this morning.

I intended to do ten evaluations, but I only made it through six. I currently need to complete nine a day to finish on time - or about 2 hrs and 15 minutes a day. That is too much for school days, so I will have to do more on the weekend. I tried staying late so that I could pop over and look at the shelves while I was writing the pottery ones. That worked pretty well and there are fewer distractions and temptations. I will probably do that again tonight.

I have still not cleaned up the house from the Monday play date. Or made progress on Christmas decorations. I am keeping the house pretty much in balance though. Sometimes holding the line is enough, right?

A former student friend is coming to eat lunch with me at school today.

Made my stretch goal!
Cleaned up the evaluation stuff and a little extra.
Had dinner and played with Bean.

Now Bean is washed, brushed, read to and tucked in bed.

I need to do my chores.

My cousin im'd me. 🙂

Mini brag time -

I took the quilting magazines to the library on Tuesday! They amounted to a couple of cubic feet gone. I realize that offloading things like them that were only ever going to be transitory anyway is not as big an accomplishment as getting rid of things that have been around a long time and that I wasn't sure whether or not to keep, sometimes painfully unsure. But it's still an accomplishment. And as always, clearing visual clutter and freeing space, and the satisfaction of ticking it off the list, makes it easier to deal with other stuff.

Tatoulia, I hope you will be able to pass the time and not feel too sad or lonely. I remember when my former boyfriend used to go out of town even for short trips I found it hard. Staying busy helps though, and treating yourself to fun and soothing things, whether it's an afternoon at the art museum or a bubble bath or whatever. And girlfriend time with Emiko. And kitties.

My week has had more things in it than I'd like, though admittedly I prefer a very open calendar so even one obligatory thing per day seems like a lot. Today and tomorrow I wrap up with giving around 30 bunnies their mani pedis at the shelter. Certainly there are worse obligations a person could have. Next week I'm hoping will be more flexible. I've been wanting some more library days. The holiday eliminates one potential day but it's okay, should be others. I'm glad the days themselves are on a lengthening trend.

Good work, SubC!

I'm having a cup of tea. I did finally shower last night. I'm going to put on some music and out those Christmas things away!

Serial posting.

I emptied and entire ring binder of old school paper. I did not count the sheets, but I'm calling that enough slack for the rest of the week. It was about 3/8".

Next I need to take care of some insurance paperwork. That would be an example of a high interest item. I know it will only take a few minutes, but the amount of stress and mental energy involved in not having it done is huge and makes it seem like a mountain. So doing it will free up a lot of energy for other stuff.

White rabbit, white rabbit, white rabbit! 🐇 (Depending on your browser and which emoji set it uses, the rabbits may be white or they may be brown. In any case, they're cute.)

And Happy New Year. 🎉 🥳 May it bring renewed hope, peace, prosperity, and all those good things. And little beanlets and a peanut or whatever Lila decides to call the successor of Acorn. 😉

Road, I hope and pray that you are already feeling a lot better after your bad spell.

Lila, when I have the newsletter from the senior center in front of me - new one just came last week - I'll see if I can find you some good ideas. I'm pretty new there myself and because of life craziness then catching the Rona, I haven't gotten there much. For me, its role is that of a resource center, a place to go and do things like the open crafting days to catch up on my projects. And some of the quieter interactive things like board games. Fitness too - I am interested in stretching type classes, and casual pickleball (because although I never really got serious about tennis, I used to enjoy whacking a ball with a racket). Not that I don't want to meet people and make friends, I do, but it'll probably happen secondary to doing things that interest me. That's just how I am, as an introvert.

So things like the dances and parties I'm not sure if will be my interest, and the craft classes where a set project is assigned, unless it would be something I've wanted to learn about. I may be more focused on my own agenda, but if I observe something I think might be what you're looking for in terms of ideas I'll pass it on.

Well, a new year stretches ahead, and I sure hope it'll be an improvement on the previous one. I have some optimism. My anxiety seems less, I think I'll be more disciplined in doing fitness which will further calm me, and I feel less intimidated and lost regarding the decluttering. In fact, rather eager to get started.

I hope my roommate will have a much happier and calmer time too; she hasn't gotten to really settle into retirement and enjoy it because of crazy happenings around here - things impacting her directly, and helping me navigate through some of mine (bless her for her willingness - I need to make more of a point of expressing gratitude, and doing something to reciprocate).

Live long and prosper, my friends! 🖖

Thanks for helping me better understand the credit analogy. Not to muddy the waters but when I had debt, I worked on the lowest amount of debt first, because I enjoy the satisfaction of having the debt extinguished. I think I'm that way with my possessions, too. Working on the easier stuff.

I have at least one bag to go to goodwill. In terms of Christmas gifts, my incoming was one purse, desk items, and perfume and soaps. So nothing that needs any special accommodations. I do, however, have to take a look at my linens including throw blankets and make some decisions.

So, I have been thinking today - there are 5 ways things leave my possession:

Used up:
Consumed
Composted
Burned
Made into something else (which is then kept, given away, or sold)

Given away:
As gifts
Donated

Sold (includes returns - which are rare)

Recycled

Garbage

I try to pay attention on the front end to minimize that last one.

A lot of those are food and food packaging related. So, my plan is to try to keep on top of the food and food packaging related stuff and net one non-food related out every day. "Made into something else" only counts if it is not a kept thing.

Items will be counted when they are categorized, not dropped off (so I can put something in a donate box and count it but not take the box until it is full. No credit for dropping the box off.)

Report later.

Tatoulia, a lot of people do it that way.

Anything that motivates you is better than something that doesn't.

It just doesn't make sense to me because it's mathematically irrational - you end up paying more money in total, so it could take longer overall. I am motivated by paying less money over less time.

With the stuff, it's not necessarily the hardest stuff first, it's the stuff that drains my energy the most.

Currently I would like to declutter a parent. She is mad at me. I am possibly more mad at her. We are both mad because we want what is best for her kid. I need to not obsess over this all evening.

Happy New Year!

Now to read the posts!