SubC, I am ready for spring, too. Enough is enough with the cold and dark. If I did not have roots and grands here, I would move to a warmer place.

Thank you for the badger. I will prioritize the shoes today. I worked from home for 3.5 hours, drank coffee, and put the bag of wilting spinach in a sink of cold water to get it washed and freshened. I'll saute it and maybe freeze half. I put in a load of wash.

I will try and get some items out of here for the Daily Tally thread... including those shoes.

Howdy

At the library again - continuing the file directory overhaul I worked on the other day. It's getting down into the brambles right now, individual files to check and delete, stuff like that, so slower going at times. But I feel like it's going to be SO worth it. Not everyone would feel this compulsive need to do this, and to each their own, but it actually energizes me. I've spent so many years with disorganized thoughts that this actually feels like clearing out mental cobwebs. Like I can feel the synapses reordering themselves or something.

And I don't think it'll take forever; soon I'll actually be ready to move forward and write stuff and read and study and learn, do digital art, etc. And things like the photos, I can probably just do in little spurts around the productive work. But the documents have been in such a mess for so long.

Finding more little things here and there to put in go-away boxes. Rubber stamp set (I have a huge tub of stamps in storage and they may be going bye-bye sometime this year - at least most of them - because I realize I'm just not into cardmaking like I was in the 90s/early 00s. Few people are).

Roommate and I went shopping last night - her old computer had been really frustrating; even her IT knowledgeable brother did reinstall of Windows and other techie magic yet couldn't make it work much better. So she found a new one. It wasn't in stock but will be delivered to the house tomorrow. I think I'm about as excited as she is because I've so recently delighted in getting this new computer. We will try not to knock the FedEx man over in our enthusiasm. Or be weird giving him a bunch of bear hugs and kisses, that sort of thing. ROTFL 🤣

So, my "spring clean and organize" today was trash and recycling out, stripped my bed and washed the sheets, took the ash bucket out and dumped it so I can clean out the woodstove before starting a fire tomorrow, took the compost out, and at school - inventoried the glaze and made a shopping list.

Good morn8ng!

CM, I understand about organizing the computer - it's a big thing even though the files aren't physical because it will pay you back by freeing up time and mental energy.

Ooo! Rubber stamps! Rubber stamps are one of my weaknesses! You can emboss clay with them... good luck on the rubber stamps!

Yesterday was pretty good. I didn't get as much done as far as school as I hoped, and I wasted time online that I could have spent on my seed order, and I stayed up a little bit too late.

But my classes went well (mostly - I couldn't find the materials for part of one demo because I had cleaned them out of my nightmare cabinet and put them neatly into a labelled box on an open shelf - where is the face smacking emoji? - so I wasted a little time and then pushed that part to next week.)

and, I washed and dried the load of laundry and unloaded the dishwasher and put the dirty dishes in it (I may only need to run it once these two days)

I took the compost out, showered, made a fire when I got home, and put the sleigh rocks on the woodstove so that they were ready to tuck in the foot of the bed last night.

My lesson plans for today are partly on the board.

The building manager gave me the old plexiglass from the poster display cases and the beta test from class yesterday says it works for my D&D maps. A few upgrades to make..

I need to fire the kiln after school.

My friend at work has Covid. So far it is very mild and she is taking the medicine. I worry because she has risk factors, but I guess it is not as bad now as it was. She is fully vaccinated. We had a short conversation in the hall Tuesday and she tested positive Thursday morning, but I don't know when I should test - it says if you have symptoms or at least 5 days after exposure, but I still have Bean's cold. I feel like I should probably test tonight (which would be too early to be sure) since Dh sister is coming tomorrow. Otoh, she just had it at Christmas. She'll probably be more worried about Bean's cold.

Ok, must get moving. I have a day to conquer.

hey you are doing good, SubC.

I made lunch for myself and my company, using things in the fridge that needed to be used up. I put my laundry in the dryer. I worked on my planner a bit.

That is as far as I have gotten today.

Before I went on my trip, I remember trying to gather things to pack and I could not find things I needed. I was getting so frustrated and angry, that I KNEW those things were in my bedroom somewhere, but they were basically lost under all the clutter. It made me so upset I was ready to get rid of everything! If I had had a big trash bin in my room I would have started tossing everything just to be able to find the things that matter. But I had to get ready to leave, so did not have time to declutter anything.

I am not sure how to channel that frustration into today, but yesterday I wanted to wear a certain necklace but there was so much stuff piled in the drawers that I could not find it. And once again I was mad, and ready to get rid of everything.

But right now the only thing I am motivated to do is sit here and wish for more snax.

Hi all,

Just checking in to say my son was in the hospital all week with pneumonia. He's better and home now. Will check in again when things settle down a bit.

A small victory:

I was able to put 3 of the 5 pairs of shoes into the donate box along with some gloves, scarf, random items. I put the box in my car. I also threw out some worn clothing. I started my count in the Daily Tally thread. My goal is 1000 items gone by the end of this year and 22 items went out of my house today!

I know I said I would only keep 1 pair of the 5, but I have not yet decided which of the last 2 I might donate. So, it's progress.

Hey road!

So sorry to hear about your son! Glad he is better!

I failed to meet my minimum goals for the week, but classes went well.

Today:
Feed
Hay
Straw
Order seeds

Try not to offend Dh family when they arrive and I have no extra bandwidth available for faking human.

- Last night I told Dh "I'm going to bed. I'm sick, I'm too tired to do anything useful, and my presence is of no use to you right now because you just want me to be still and quiet and stay out of your personal space (Dh was also tired and had had too much people) and I can do those things in bed."

He told me that was too much truth. When I get worn out, there is a lot of either too much truth or silent staring in an attempt to avoid too much truth. People get offended by both.

But seriously, I was not complaining to or about Dh. There was no criticism. I was simply explaining my actions based on the logical response to the facts I was observing. He could have rebutted the last statement if he felt I had interpreted the situation incorrectly and asked me to change my actions accordingly.

But apparently I was just supposed to say "I'm going to bed." And then wait for him to respond based on him guessing why I was going to bed so early and his emotional reactions to those imagined reasons. - makes no sense to me.

I usually opt for silent staring. It gives Dh a chance to jump in.

It is good progress Lila - 60%!

Imagine if you got rid of 60% of the stuff in your house!

Can you explain to me the difference between your separation and a divorce? If the separation does not end the marriage, will it be ended after a period of time? Or is that a different process? Mostly, I am thinking about the xh's stuff and when you can throw it out!

My sheets are in the dryer. I did chores and took a shower. And I had milk and eggs for dinner (which is supposed to be tomorrow's food - milk and eggs and hot or spicy things like tea, cinnamon, curry.)

Did you ever find that necklace? Could you go to the drawer with a donate bag and a trash bag and just start sorting through by removing things that aren't as important as the necklace?

I don't know how I can be this tired at 8:00

Hello friends,

I am home from my long trip, which was fun and nice and exhausting and filling all at the same time! I am glad I went and glad to be home.

Did a daily tally thread get started yet? I could see going there and putting how many things left each day. I haven't looked for it yet, been a busy first day home. I stayed home today and did the following:

- unpacked both bags and put the backpack in the closet and had Son put the suitcase in the garage
- put dirty laundry in the basket and have jeans and a jacket and towel washed and in the dryer
- picked up dirty towels and put in the hamper
- threw out some bad veggies and an old leftover cake
- cooked some sad looking veggies and ate them and made coffee and washed some dishes
-took out my bathroom trash and picked up junk and threw it away too, and had Son take out the full kitchen trash
- spent time with my dogs and Son, and a little with Teen but not a lot since they are sick and I don't want to catch it

So I did not get a whole lot done, but I got some done and relaxed and watched a little tv, sorted mail, looked at my planner.

The shoes are still lined up by my bed, waiting for me to decide which pair to keep and go donate the rest. Perhaps those will be my first Daily Tally items??

I am not ready for a work week, though. Sigh.

Thanks SubC for the reminder to get my clothes out of the dryer. I hope they are not too wrinkled.

The necklace. That is a good suggestion that sets me into a panic thinking about it. Why is that? I don't even know. Here is my brain process.

I open the drawer and see all the jewelry and it is overwhelming.
I pick out one thing I have not worn in years.
"but my child gave this to me, I can't get rid of it"
"but I can save this for my granddaughters" (nice things for them to have, and junky things for them to wear as dress-up)
"but this probably cost $50+"
"but I don't remember who gave this to me, maybe it was someone I loved who is dead now and later I will remember they gave it to me and will cry tears of regret"

It is so hard to get rid of ANYTHING really.

I threw out some bubble wrap today even though I COULD USE IT SOMEDAY but I threw it out to count in the daily tally.

Lila, travel is tiring. Rest.

I don't remember you telling us when teen came home.
Did teen come on your trip? Remain behind with your company? How are things going for them?

School fair was good but tiring. Visit with Dh family is going well. Didn't get enough done yesterday though.- need to do some school prep this evening.

Bean is here today too.

I did get hay and straw and feed and order my seeds!

And pick up the living room before they arrived, and the dishes are mostly caught up.

Just touching base and I'll do so again when I get home tomorrow afternoon or evening. I think I'm mentally prepared for the travel part. Sometimes it goes pretty well. It'll be my first time as I mentioned since that really stressful time last year when I wasn't feeling up to much in terms of travel.

The funeral itself will be a healing and bonding with family time. Some of the cousins I don't know if I'll see again for a long time because some of them live out of state and in recent times it's only been the funerals of my parents' generation that have brought us together, and he's the last one. We don't have reunions and stuff, and with me not liking travel... But be that as it may, I will be touched in my heart to be part of giving my beloved uncle a fitting sendoff.

I had wanted to go to Mass today before I ended up with the travel plans and so on. But it's okay, I remembered it is a special day anyway. 🕯 A candle for Candelmas. 😊

Must run down my checklist a bit more. We leave at 8:00. That's early in my book anymore! Bunny boy is doing fantastic. I'm so relieved. I think he and girl bunny groom each other and get a little hair ingested, so I'll brush them more to prevent it.

Saw the Daily Tally, and soon I will have some items to add to it. Everyone have a great day. 👍

Last day of January.

I won't miss it.

I showered.
I brushed my teeth.
I took my vitamins.

Sil is going to take a paper grocery bag of recycling (in her town but not here) with her.

She will probably leave after I leave for school. Dh has already gone to work.

I have class tonight.

Good morning!

My cross quarter day will start right about the time of my first class today, but I will be home to light candles at the appropriate time this evening.

Planting some seeds today with my students.

Lila, I'm sorry if my question about your xdh and his stuff was out of line or pushy.

I really empathize with you about the jewelry, but unfortunately that means I am no help there. Honestly, it even bothers me to read that you threw away bubble wrap. (But keep posting such things!)

CM, I hope your trip goes well and that you enjoy your time with your cousins, even though it is a sad reason for gathering (a long life to celebrate though!)

I give my bunnies dried papaya to prevent wool block.

Good morning SubC, I'm glad to see you posting here. Let's see. Teen was in the hospital for about 6 weeks and came home the first week of December. They have been doing better, I think. Praying it stays better. Having company here moderates Teen's behavior a bit in a good way, and gives them another person their age to hang out with. The company is probably moving into an apartment in February sometime, so that is a little over 3 months of having them here. I have enjoyed them but I am ready to have my space back so my grandtots can come stay and have space to play and sleep.

The trip was a work conference so I went with some friends I chose (volunteers who we paid for them to go) and left Teen home with Son and the company (one of whom is a responsible adult). That was nice.

I have struggled to get back to routine. A bit of jet lag from the 3 hour time change, and some catching up on sleep, and some immediate work drama I had to deal with as soon as I got home (not over yet), and I am wishing for a day off. Yesterday I spent all day dealing with work drama, kid/company drama, and trying to get paperwork done. Today I am trying to finish the paperwork and have to go to a court hearing for my separation from my ex. I hope that goes well. It is very emotionally draining. So I am getting very little actual work done. But tonight Tot and family are coming for dinner so that will be nice. And then tomorrow I have to work over a 12 hour span (not all paid).

I may try to take Thurs and Fri off, because I have to work Sat and Sun.

My house is a wreck, I am tired of hiding my junk in my bedroom, I am embarrassed how little I clean and the state of things but also tired of stacks of boxes everywhere.

I am in the mood to get rid of things but can't right now, or feel like I can't. I don't want commentary on what is going out of my home.

What's new with the rest of you?

also - I just made a Daily Tally thread. Come post there if you wish!

I'll remember to use the Daily Tally, Lila - whether every day or not but whatever days I have something to tally!

I may not be doing as much for the next few; it depends. My uncle aged 99 passed on Saturday and the funeral will entail a road trip - this is the closer side of the family so that road trip is < an hour anymore since the highway was improved. As usual, I will ride with my cousins from here. Working on the positive thinking re being on the highway. Poco a poco! Already thinking about which tote bag to take along, and so on - also plenty of cold water to sip, fidget foam squishy cat, tablet, books, etc. And yes, a little Xanax the night before to try and prevent anticipatory anxiety plus the usual morning dose.

It helps that this cousin has driven the route many a time and seems to be very good at it, and their vehicle has a good solid feel. This time of year I'll have my parka which doubles as something to put over my lap - sort of the equivalent of a weigted blanket. Anything that is grounding helps. Overpreparing helps, lol.

Family comes from near and far; this is the last of the parental generation for me and my three cousins, one of whom is the surviving daughter of my uncle. I wonder if there'll be any occasion to see some of them again, because funerals seemed to be the only time I have in recent years. If I'd gotten married and/or had kids, there would probably be more connections. No way to tell the future. Half of my first cousins on that side are deceased as well - I'm next to the youngest of my generation.

But... bittersweet though it may be, I'll be honored to be there to say farewell to a sweet man who was always friendly and fun to be around, who served his country in WWII, and so on.

I'm not trying to do too much ordinary stuff this week - a little, but then by Thursday I'll want to start preparing for my trip. I might make my first excursion of the year to the gym on Thursday morning - exercising would be a good thing to help prevent anxiety, burning off some excess adrenaline and all that. Perhaps I'll just walk on the track and not swim yet, because I just colored my hair yesterday.

This year has just been slow getting going, but at least it's going better in terms of starting to deal with backlog, and having more peace of mind. I do find an item here and there to declutter - some have gone as donations to the senior center, some will be for my own little sale booth when they have the bazaar, and the church sale in the summer can have the remainder.

CM, I am sorry about your uncle.

Also, please do not take this the wrong way, because I really do understand about your highway driving. Different things are hard for different people.

But when you said "road trip" and "< an hour" my brain was like "so, not quite my drive to work." That is only half highway time though. Maybe you can pass some of the time imagining you are coming to work with me.

Lila, thank you for the update on teen.

Saw Bean this evening. His daddy was cooked so I stopped by to play with him after work on my way to class. Gave dsil a chance to make dinner.

Sil and offspring left the house some time after I did this morning. Two beds to strip and wash, and a pile of towels on top of my washer.

Tired.

Cold.

SubC, I know, right? Perspective is everything - I know oodles of people commute more than that, and in super busy places I can't even fathom, like New York City, LA, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Paris, London, and many more.

It's the speed, and the trapped feeling that get me. But I will try and feel you in solidarity with me. Anything positive is good.

My boy bunny last night was having some health issues - to be expected when he is 10 years and 5 months old (approximate - his actual birthdate is unknown). So I didn't get much sleep. Bunny boy is a little better but I'm going to have to keep watch on him. And I hope his condition won't cause anxiety when I have to entrust him to my roommate on Friday.

My life tends not to give me just one big emotional thing at a time. But I did a lot of praying.

CM, I'm sorry for your loss. It seems rare to find someone aged 99 these days who is in lucid state. I visit a very nice man in a rest home who will be 100 in May and tells me lots of stories of growing up on a tobacco farm in SC (or was it NC?) I hope your trip goes well.

I think we can use the Daily Tally thread however works best for each of us. I plan to add by 'items' - whether donated or thrown out as long as it was not trash to begin with. For example if I clean my room I will count a blanket with holes that I was saving to use but throw out, but will not count a piece of junk mail. I want to keep a real tally so I know how many items left in one year.

SubC, I'm glad you had time with Bean. I had Tot and Acorn over last night and my son and dil came for dinner as well. It was a good visit. When the company moves out I will have space back to have Tot's play room again and will get a crib for Acorn to come spend the night too.

I was supposed to be at work at 8:30 this morning, meetings most of the day, program tonight and done around 8:30pm but I really needed a half day. So I called in that I would not make it this morning and I cancelled a frustrating meeting this afternoon. Now I can stay home and get a few things done. I just could not bear to go in.

I did get the separation finalized so add to my tally 280 pounds of frustration gone forever.

CM - also, its hard when our beloved pets have health things going on. I hope your bunny will be okay. My elderly dog is also having troubles and I feel like I do not have the emotional space to cope with it. Praying our sweet animals will be okay.

I made some breakfast and am just having some time for me. I think I will try to get a few things done like pay bills and maybe finally try on those shoes and pick which pair to keep. At this point those darned shoes have become a symbol of my unwillingness to change. I want to beat this.

Happy Groundhog Day!

And happy Candlemas to CM. I hope you bunny is ok.

Lila, a 12 hr day is ridiculous. I'm glad you took some of the time back.

And nice job getting rid of 280lbs of junk! Good day's work!

Here is a badger for the shoes:🦡

The cross quarter falls tomorrow night astronomically even though depending on your approach celebrations started last night at sundown. The darkest quarter of the year will be over. I'm definitely ready to turn my mind toward spring.

Traditionally I should be doing spring cleaning and decluttering today to prepare. I think the best I can manage is a load of dishes, but we shall see. Maybe I can manage at least a symbolic attempt. The snowdrops are blooming anyway. They don't allow human events to interfere.

I feel like I've been stalled for a long time.

Hi Lila!

Finished the evaluations, still need to upload and submit. Going out with Dh tonight.

Also in the "need to lose weight" club, but not currently in the "doing something about it" club.

It has been overcast all day.

Well, I eventually gave up on the seed order, but I got most of the laundry put away and ran the dishwasher.

I just got tired and lost all motivation and watched movies on my iPad.

I don't know if it's a cold or the mood disorder that seems to be getting worse. I'm good in the mornings and in the classroom. I think I should have done the seed order first because it's easier to zombie your way through putting laundry away, but maybe not. Anyway, Dh will be happy that his clothes are back in his drawers instead of in baskets.

While I was keeping myself awash in tea yesterday I found a tin I can part with. So, that's something.

Trying to focus on the next two days. I feel like I'm in survival mode, so my metrics for success are going to be:
Run the dishwasher twice
One load of laundry
Good classes
Clean the chick pen at least once
Don't stay up late online

If I get the seeds ordered, that will be excellent.

SubC, I am sorry about all the stuff happening. The chicks would make me so sad too. It is so grey here as well. "My soul needs gas." Indeed. How will we fix this? What fuels you? I guess what fuels me is serving, and also being alone. I get pretty much no time alone now with the houseguests, but I can stay in bed later in the morning some days and read. And I enjoy the company more than I thought I would. I am also going on a business trip to Florida next week which will be so nice, to get some sun and get out of this grey pit. Be sure if the sun comes out to be in it.

CM, I am curious. How would you measure Cubic Feet Gone? Let me know and I might try. Although cubic inches might be more my speed lately! Or maybe it could be "items gone." Like how many items went into the donate box each day or something? Thank you for the tips. You give good insights. I am a hawk! I shall swoop!

So far today I:
- threw away some trash in my bedroom and bathroom
- cleaned the inside of the master toilet bowl. I need to get some paper towels in there and cleaner to do the outside.
- juiced a bunch of oranges that were getting old and kind of hard but still had juice in them. Drank it. So good.
- made a nice lunch for me and houseguest, using up produce and items in the fridge that needed to be used
- went through my whole "to do" bin that sits next to me, threw out the trash papers, did some tasks, filed some of the papers, sorted the rest
- found more papers and mail on the counter and sorted and tossed as well
- washed a few dishes
- looked over finances and accounts, bills, credit cards, got stressed out. I have stopped using credit cards and only use a debit card now with no overdraft, but I am trying to pay down the cards from before and it makes me stressed looking at the debt. It is not a ton of debt, maybe $2500 on cards plus like $3k of paying my car. But I see interest charges and get so upset. I've been paying them down a lot, probably 50% of my paycheck each month. I only work part time so that's a lot but I am frugal and paying interest was upsetting me. The fees for a balance transfer are a lot so I plan to try and file my taxes as soon as I get my W-2 and maybe I will get some money back and can pay this stuff down. I hate hate hate debt. Another reason not to buy stuff on amazon anymore and not to buy anything I don't totally need.

Drinking tea and relaxing a bit before I look at bills some more and maybe clean my room more. I still need to get those shoes into the donate bin. I did get them out (5 pairs I think) but one is missing it's mate - how?? - so I will try them all on and decide. This is VERY HARD and is stressing me out but I keep thinking, "someone should get to wear these before they get old and are no good."

Hey! Everyone's here! And doing pretty well! Good work on reducing stuff, everyone!

Good job on finishing the evaluations, SubC. I sort of phoned in one of my evils. My director may bounce it back to me.

Lila, enjoy the time in FL! I should book a trip to visit a friend. Leaving my mom would be tough right now.

I think it was road who suggested I get my hormone levels checked. I see the doctor on the 30th so I will have my blood checked then. I am feeling less tired and yet, I slept all day. Is it boredom? I just cannot tell.

Cm good for you to get rid of cubic feet! Well done! Road you are doing a fantastic job!

I'm not doing much these days. I'm not sure why. But I do have more clothes to go. So that's good. I'm trying stuff on as it starts to fit and I'm making decisions as to what I should be wearing. I am so looking forward to reaching the next stage of my clothes. Stuff that looks like me and I bought because I liked it. Not the stop gap stuff from the past two plus years.

I am so pleased to see that everyone is working hard. Good job revisiting the books, CM. I know that the kindle book reader isn't for everyone but it has prevented me from getting actual books. It has saved me, really.

Ok, I might go shower and then read. Need to get my sheets out of the dryer and fold them and put them away. I also have to get my delicates from the washer and hang them. Always something.

Good morning!

Happy new year!

Rabbit rabbit rabbit - lol!

🐇🐇🐇

It is snowing here, expecting about 2".

Dh says he is going to upload my evals for me today because he thinks he can do it a lot faster and then I will have my whole day.

I will still mostly be taking Christmas stuff down and cleaning, but that's ok. It will help me feel more centered.

I like the snow, but we need a grocery run.

Tatoulia, I would ask your dr. If the sleeping could be related to the shots. It sounds like those are working though?

Lila, you are doing well. It would be very hard for me with company so long.

Waiting to hear on the shoes. You can do it!

What feeds me? Definitely alone time, which is just not happening. Light. I've been staying after school because I can work all alone without distractions, but the lights are terrible - those overhead tube things. Puttering around in my house or working on my pottery. A sense of progress or accomplishment - which the evaluations don't give me because I see no inherent value in them and they will have to be done again in May. Bean. Sometimes Dh. Sometimes Dh is a drain. Depends.

I started a load of laundry.

Updates later.

Alone time feeds me, too, SubC. I am also eager for some light. Our offices are set up very nicely with an open floor plan. Only VPS and above have offices and those are on the interior. Everyone else sits where there is full light available. For those in cubes, the sides are short. A lot of people don't have cubes. It's a nice layout. Full light is available to us. Very light and breezy. We have full views of the city. We used to be able to see the water and watch the planes land, but the development of the Seaport district has blocked that on my floor. I think if I went up to our other two floors I'd still be able to see those things. I sit right by the windows and in fact, as certain times at the end of the day I have to close some of the blinds because the lights of the sunset go right into my eye. Which windows affect me changes during the year.

I still need more light, however plus it's been grey lately. I gave away my light therapy box and I'm good with that.

Meeting my brother for lunch.

Yes I think the shots are making me tired. I do think I'm at the point where I can fight through that because I'm sleeping more but not necessarily feeling as tired. I also changed up my blanket game and that is not doing me any favors. I'm sleeping with warmer covers on me and I like to sleep colder. So I'll remove the heated throw tonight and see how I do. I bet it goes a lot better.

I hope you husband can upload your evals, SubC. Have a great day, everyone.

Christmas completely removed from dining porch and bedroom.

3rd load of laundry in washer.

Fire going.

Puttering and resting happening a little, but feeling run down in the post-eval-post-adrenaline let down.

Evals turned in - took an hour and a half, I had to help Dh a little.

Tatoulia, I hope lunch with your brother is a good thing.

Back to grinching.