That is scary, CM, with the computer situation. I no longer have a computer other than my work laptop. All else is iPhone or iPad. I hope it is okay. The cyber stuff terrifies me!

SubC! I know you weren’t advocating to keep the cameras! You are a gentle, kind soul and I was being like a drill Sargent. Lila, why not package them up in one eBay listing for say, $100? Maybe someone would want all of them and that would give you some funds! Some people like to get a whole bunch. And if someone says, I really only want camera x and I’ll pay $30, you can sell it! Worth a shot!

I wish I could sell on eBay. I never dedicated myself to it. I know there is money to be made.

So I got rid of eight pjs. Two pair of pj shorts, three pair of pj bottoms, and three pair of complete pjs. Then Emiko came over, took a look at my pjs and asked if she could take a pair. So I went into my pj drawer and let her choose. So nine in all. As I wrote this, Emiko texted to say she’s wearing the pj pants. So that’s good news. I have to be tough with myself.

I’m pretty excited about the ducks, SubC.

Okay tomorrow is a day off. Let’s see what I do. I saw a girlfriend today and we did some walking around the city. Then Emiko needed me to help her with a work project. I did not see mom today and I feel guilty.

Okay I’m going to read now.

Good morning. A day off for many of us? Yes for me!

Does anyone else participate in Lent or something like it? This Wednesday is Ash Weds and I never knew anything about it until my current church, which is not Catholic but does have an Ash Weds service and talks about Lent. I have already begin a 'season of fasting' which I wanted to try this year with the 16:8 intermittant fasting because I require structure and it is something I want to do as a self discipline. I am using this time to stop idolizing food, eating lots of junk and fast food and sugary things that harm my body, and using the hunger as a turning-to-God point.

I also have thought this morning that the mindset of giving, not hoarding, trusting God and being a free giver to trust in the Lord to provide for the future is something I am trying to cultivate. If I cultivate that mindset, it will follow that I give more of my unused belongings away, and trust that I will have what I really need.

I will try to channel that mindsent during Lent into crafting my environment to reflect my inner peace. I thought of this when I got up this morning and looked at the piles of STUFF on the floor just a couple feet from where I got out of bed. Wouldn't it be nice, and peaceful, to get up and have all of that gone?

Good morning and happy weekend.

I am fairly well rested and things are calm. I have started intermittent fasting again, which I felt very good doing years ago. My goal is 16 hours fasting and an 8 hour eating window. I use and app to keep track, and I do have coffee or tea during the fast and I do use minimal plant based creamer, even though that is not ideal. It is how I can work it.

I have a little less than an hour before I can eat, and now I want to eat, so instead, I will get off this couch and attempt some cleaning and decluttering.

I hope we all get some stuff OUT of our homes today!

CM, so glad you found your coffee shop!

Isn’t your roommate situation sort of a replacement sibling situation?

I’m not sure siblings are much of a guarantee of anything. I’m much closer to my cousin than I am to my brother. And one of my �family of choice� people is the third name on my emergency contact list (husband, in town Dd, heartdd)

The breakfast turned out to be a good experience.

I’m still tired and mostly resting today, but I’m going to at least get some laundry going. I’ll check back later.

Well I made it to 16 hours 28 minutes in my fasting app and I am happy about that. To make it to my goal, I went in my room:

- gathered dog treats and sample food bags off the floor and brought them to the kitchen. Put treats in the jar and will feed the dogs the samples.

- put a dog bone into the correct bin, and threw the container out. It is a disposable container, but the lid does not stay on and I decided to toss it.

- looked around and got overwhelmed. But took my laundry basket of dirty clothes into the hall so I can wash them.

Then I looked in the fridge for lunch. A friend gave me a free week of one of those vegetarian meal plans and it had one meal left in it to make, for the last couple weeks. So I got that out, all the ingredients were still good so I spent a good 40 minutes making a couscous bowl with roasted chickpeas and roasted vegetables. It was really good! It makes 2 servings so I put the other half into a nice dish and put it in the fridge for another day.

I also used the weird foil-like bag the meals came in as a trash container because I was tempted to keep it, but it had food spilled in it and would be a pain to keep.

So there's a couple things I'll add to the daily tally.

Hi Lila! I used to intermittent fast, too, but I did 5:2. At five days a week, no eating for two days. I enjoyed it and got to the point where I could go into the office on fasting days. I gave it up after meeting with a nutritionist who helped me lose a lot of weight by fasting. Right now I’m doing other things. 23 down, probably another 20 to go. I’m definitely enjoying the benefits of losing weight!

I hope the fasting works well for you! I would lose a reliable one pound a week. Not bad!

My brother came over today. I got him a pizza and I had a Caesar salad wrap. He got to meet the new kitty and seemed to like her. She is a nice little companion.

I’m going to take a nap now.

oh wow, 2 days fasting! I would have to work up to that. 16 is about my limit and I get dizzy. But I think my body will get used to it again. I used to do an occasional 20:4. I am heavier than I was then. I want to lose about 50 pounds.

I worked on my bedroom and got 22 more items out of there!! Not counting papers and receipts I tossed. All were items I was keeping. Most got donated (and the box is now in the back of my car) and a few were trash. I am proud of myself for doing that.

I have a lot of boxes and plastic bins in my bedroom so I was sorting some small plastic bins and was able to consolidate the contents of 3 bins into 2 bins after I donated stuff. And there is still room in those bins.

I needed a mental break even though it only took me like 20 minutes. There is SO much stuff in there and each item is WORK to let go of.You know what I mean right guys?

But also the feeling of freedom and success after getting rid of things is really motivating.

another post, this time requesting input.

Stuff in my room that is bothering me.

I have a drawer full of old cameras. All digital but back when digital first came out. I am insistent on keeping them but sheesh. I am considering putting them all in a plastic bin and putting them on a shelf in a closet in the basement so I have that drawer free. Maybe in time I will feel ok about getting rid of them but it is overwhelming: are there photos on them? I would need to find the cables to get them off. Are there old batteries in them leaking acid? Are they worth some money since I kept the boxes and manuals? Would my grandkids like them to take pictures with in a few years? ugh

I have a bin in my room, and a BIG bin maybe also in my room somewhere, FULL of cords. Just cords, plugs, all different kinds of chargers and cords. It would take me a week to sort through and try to figure out what goes with what. I cannot donate them because they go with things...

I have about 3 laptops in various stages of broken, and a PC that is olddd but has photos on it but no internet connection. Baby pics of my kids and stuff. I would LOVE to get rid of all of them. But, they have documents and photos to get off them and who has time? And, to make it worse, I had a Windows 95 PC and when I was decluttering 10+ years ago I got what I could off of it and then got rid of it and THEN realized there were some irreplaceable conversations on it that I did not save and now cannot get back. And it sort of haunts me... and so I am touchy about getting rid of more.

Okay, all suggestions welcome. Even if I don't follow them right away, I think about what you say and let it process and percolate so I can work up to doing something about this junk.

Hi all!

I have low personal bandwidth tonight, so I’m just going to address one th8ng - Lila,Mia you have space to pack away the cameras right now, do it, BUT you need to go through and remove all the batteries first. You can do it as you pack them up.

CM might know something about the computers.

I did a load of dishes and two loads of laundry and put two other loads of laundry away and cleaned up in my studio so that I can just go out and throw tomorrow. And I took a shower with washing my hair.

Tatoulia, I’m glad you were able to have your brother over.

SubC you did a lot. I too am going to shower and I will probably wash my hair. I finally found pajamas I like and after washing them last night and hanging them to dry, I am looking forward to testing them out. You did great today, SubC.

Lila, I hope I am not being hurtful but your grandchildren will not want the cameras. They will not. You may have one grandchild who is an old soul and gravitates toward that sort of thing and that one child will show the signs early. I was that old soul and trust me, everyone could tell by age 3. I think saving them is not productive. ON THE FLIP SIDE, if you donate them, someone at the thrift shop will be thrilled. The right next owner will be found. Please consider this before storing them. Please consider sending them on their way to a new home. New home for the cameras, and new and cleaner home for you. You can take out the photo cards (and batteries) before donating. These are not your grandparents records. There is no connection for you.

This is how tough I have been on myself since I started this journey. I got into an unlivable and cluttered place by hoarding things. everything had meaning of someone might want someday. You don’t need to be the warehouse for someone elses someday. Your day is today.

Again I am telling myself this at the same time. As I marvel at three pair of new pajamas and I have to get rid of four pair to make room.

Good morning! I slept late.

It is a nice day and Dh has gone to play golf.

Here is my too long plan:
Chores
Throw pots
Set up duck pen
Cut brambles
Make bread
Lesson plans

Clean up after myself as I go, try to accept that some things are trash - I want to have more than just diapers to take out this week. The scullery has become a transfer station again.

That is a terrific list, SubC! I am up early for me! I snuck downstairs to start a laundry. Cat blankets.

I just made my bed and i will now go through the pjs to decide on a minimum of four pair to donate. There are arguments to keep them all, naturally. But if I keep thinking this way, I will change it to five pair need to go. That’s how ruthless I need to be today.

Tatoulia, that is wise. And you said something I did not think of before, about the new owner being thrilled. You are right! Keeping them all in a drawer for 20 years is pretty silly, and kind of selfish, too. Someone else would be enjoying them. Very good points. I think on my days off I will try to take out one at a time, check for photos/photo cards, remove batteries and pack together to give away. I do think I will search ebay for each one, just one search, before I donate because I AM kind of broke. But if any camera is worth less than $50 I will donate (I would guess they all are but I have this weird thought process hoping I will find something worth hundreds of dollars...) so I will do the 5 minute search to make me feel better.

SubC, that sounds like a productive day. If you have time please tell me about your ducks. I love ducks.

I worked today and felt good doing but was completely wiped out exhausted at the end and left early and avoided people. I feel like I ran a marathon and could go to bed right now and it's barely noon. I think all the emotionally taxing things I have been dealing with catch up to me. I was only there for about 2 hours but I was at my limit. I have paid time off tomorrow so that will be a rest day (decluttering as well).

Today - I hit my 16 hour fasting goal again.
I have put one load of clothes in the wash.
I will pick away at decluttering in between resting.

I am supposed to do some calls for work, and maybe emails. We'll see.

ugh CM, sorry about the flat tire. I hot a board on the highway this morning (unseen in time) and hope my tires are ok and no nails.

CM, I am in a similar boat. No siblings, parents long gone. I have one aunt with dementia that I love and call occasionally, and one cousin I am friendly with, but see maybe once a decade. However I do have kids and grandkids now. I was so lonely as a child and had as many kids as I could with the crappy husbands I had. Thankful for them and need to get with Tot's family more regularly.

Teen refused to go to their appointment yesterday. I have been feeling kind of emotionally wrecked. I went to the meeting and felt fine but then there was just the slightest bit of tension/disagreement and I shut right down and was shaking. My boss was there. I think he saw how messed up I am and I am afraid he is going to ask me to take a break from work and I don't want to. It's my sanity. He assigned me some HR person last week which has never happened to me before. He said it with a smile and was like 'oh she's just for your support' but now I am scared I will get fired or something because my kid is out of control at home.

Anyway. This morning I:

- took the broken microwave to the trash bin to be taken
- put a bag of leaves into the bin
- drove to work before anyone else got there to pick up some soup someone made for me and left in the fridge. It is my day off and I did not want to talk to anyone. One guy was coming in as I was leaving but I just said hi and ran off.
- made coffee. Am drinking it. Had a banana. Am considering throwing away the Oreos so I don't eat them all.

CM, I didn't finish my thought. I am just a few years younger than you. If you lived near me, which I think you don't, I'd see if we could get together and form a sisterhood. I always have wanted a sister, and sometimes I will make a friend who kind of feels like one. But you're right, people are too busy. I don't really have anyone close anymore. My two best friends died and two close friends moved away and I never see them anymore. It is lonely and scary. There is no way Teen will help me when I am old. Oldest son, no way either, as he is far away and not concerned about me even now. Youngest son is disabled but would help as he can but I worry about him when I am gone. The other two kids, one will come see me like 4-5x a year, not even on holidays. Tot's parents are my close family and I pray it stays that way. Ugh I am rambling again.

Anyway I meant to say if you even happen to come to the PNW I would be your in person friend and we could declutter together or something.

There is room in my trash cans for more trash to go before the trucks come. I wonder if there is anything else I can toss. I do have a box of donations just about full and will put them in my car.

I literally sat on the couch almost all day and looked up and it is almost night. Maybe I just needed the down time with very little stimulation to calm my nerves.

I want to get rid of the landfill that is inside my home but what is it going to take?

I did go into my bedroom and looked around for things to get rid of and sat on the bed and got overwhelmed.

I forgot about working my way out from the bed. I just want to throw things in a box and get rid of it all. I wish I could do that. I will try again.

Good morning.

Lila, it will take wanting the space more than you want the things.

I am not really there yet. I backslide.

Dh and I have a free conservation program and breakfast from the county this morning. I signed us up a while ago and was excited about it. Now I’m just tired. I stayed up much too late last night googling friends from college. They mostly didn’t come up. The things that did come up were mostly sad. Three guys seem to have good jobs and are on linked in. I found out one of them is married - no kids - from his mother’s obituary. The guy who wanted to be a writer wrote one book and apparently opened a successful lawn care business. One guy had an old go fund me page. His wife died of a brain tumor four years ago. He had quit his job to care for her. Couldn’t find anything further. The page didn’t raise much, but it provided the only evidence of yet another friend who contributed, so I guess they stayed in touch.

I’ve been missing them a lot lately as I am watching my crop of much loved young men get ready to launch themselves out of high school. But really I think I miss the teen/twentyish them. I wonder if I would even be able to talk to these old men.

I slowly lost touch with all of them once I had kids.

I googled the girls from my dorm too. The two cute, funny, highly social ended up with good careers. They look happy on Pinterest, but no spouses, no kids. My roommate (is still) married, had three kids, and teaches preschool.

Gotta do chores and go. Need to get out of my head! It’s a far worse mess than my house.

Oh, Lila, bless you for the kind words. I didn't know you were another only child! It is a thing that I suppose can be a blessing or a curse - or perhaps a mixed bag, as I did enjoy some of the closeness and affection with my parents - though the helicopter parenting and having fewer people around to diffuse tensions when they cropped up was not so great.

Ah well. I accept it as God's will, but I'm one who will do what I can to gently encourage people to have more than one kid if I can. I just believe siblinghood is a highly essential type of human relationship just like that of parent and child, that it's desirable not to miss out on if it can be prevented. I see so many these days wanting to be "One and Done" even when they can easily afford more and there aren't any health problems etc. to consider. Some just want more trips to Disney World and material goods. But I will refrain from getting on my soapbox any further.

Maybe a lot of us older ladies will eventually form communities so that we can afford retirement, help each other out, and not be lonely - it's a trend I've seen a bit of in the press. Tiny houses, pocket communities, that sort of thing.

I'm feeling a lot better than I did on Thursday, because yesterday went very well regarding the tire situation. Roadside assistance arrived and the guy efficiently got the spare on, and he looked at the piece of metal in the tire and said it looked fixable. Which it was. The guy at the tire shop was very quick and efficient and it didn't cost much - yay! I was so thankful. So many times things like this turn into big expensive complicated things, even a cascade of problems.

That's why I want to find some financial solution, so I can maintain an emergency fund, have the means to get routine maintenance done on things, and so on.

I got the tire out for the roadside guy and set it on the grass before he came, so he wouldn't see the junk in the van (stuff I need to dispatch to its new home or to recycling) although the guy at the tire place saw it when he put the spare back in, but hopefully did not judge me too badly. I really want to get the van dejunked and clean - when I got it in 2018, for awhile I was able to, then things kind of deteriorated. I think I'll try and report any kind of progress I make on it here or on the Tally thread; that will give me some good positive reinforcement and celebration. Having it nice again will feel so good.

Poco a poco... solve one small challenge at a time.

This morning roommate and I checked out this nearby coffee shop. I should've done so a long time ago, because it's a fantastic place that I will go to often. A hangout. They have booths with power outlets, wifi - and it's quiet, peaceful, no loud music or migraine inducing lighting - just a great atmosphere. I can see myself taking my laptop there to write. It's not a place where I would be afraid to go. I can get a lot done in a place like that.

The animals sound like a great deal! Bean loves them and they will make good and not huge gifts that he will pass on to his kids someday I bet.

Little kitty hugging you makes me smile.

I worked on the remotes and managed to put one more in the donate box so far.

My living room is the most clean and decluttered it has been in years I think. It still needs a little work but for some reason I have been REALLY resistant to finishing it up.

- end table next to me has a printer, my planner markers, a pen holder and a mug coaster on it. That's all I want on there, but there are a handful of other things to deal with and then it needs dusted.

- end table on the other side has all those remotes on it, and needs dusted/windexed.

- coffee table has my laptops on it which is fine, but also 2 piles of papers and a box. The papers should go BUT HOW. Why are papers so hard.

Heck, that's about it really. There is a lamp on a box in the corner that I should dust and find a home for but everything else in the living room looks pretty good. Oh, need to vacuum the recliner and couches, and dust the leather chair.

Good morning (exclamation)

Happy Valentine’s Day to all (exclamation) We are about halfway through February (exclamation)

It is very difficult for me to express myself without exclamation marks, quotes, and apostrophes (exclamation)

The thing with the animals is that we have so many toys. More toys than any child should ever need. I was spoiled, My kids were spoiled, and so many things have been saved and passed down….

Dd told me when he was younger that I was never to buy anything new for him. She has relaxed a bit, but not much. Also, her house is small, so I am the quote toy library, where things are rotated back and forth so that he has a variety at home without needing a lot of storage.

I could get rid of some of the animals that have found their way into the box which are not the same kind and not as nice, but they belong to my ds or dd2.

When I was 40, I told my kids I would store stuff for them until they were 40, or my youngest grandchild was ten, whichever came first, and then I was keeping only the things I really liked and the rest went out or to them. Bean is 2.5 and still my only. Dd2 will be 27 this year.

Also, the animals are nice, but they are still plastic, which I try to avoid.

Lila, good job on the remotes. Is the lamp on a box, or in a box? What is in the box? Are you using a box as a table?

Back to school today. I will let you know if I manage to remove anything from the household.

Late night with my class last night and very tired today. Less than six hours of sleep.

I posted on the tally thread.

I need to come home and get to bed early tonight.

Last night I added a promise to do something for somebody.

And I have a staff meeting at lunch today.

And some paperwork I have to take care of.

My toy animals are supposed to come in the mail tomorrow.

Things feel like they are trending in the wrong direction. But maybe that is just lack of sleep.

SubC, the lamp is on a box. The box is large. Inside it is a record player system I bought a few years ago and never even opened the box. Heck it could even be broken in there and I wouldn't know and couldn't return it now!

I bought it, then it sat in my bedroom for a few years. Then a year or two ago I remember posting about it on here and deciding it needed to get set up and used. So I bought the box out to the living room and set it up on my filing cabinet - the box, that is. Without opening it. Then, this year at Christmas, I wanted to put the Nativity on the filing cabinet for Tot to see, as usual. So the big box got put on the floor between the cabinet and the recliner, and there it sits.

The lamp was on an end table but kept getting knocked off by the clumsy dog, so got put behind the recliner. Which eventually ended up with it on the box so I could vacuum.

What is the solution? I don't know. I am dismayed that if I set up the record player and records (which belonged to my grandparents), Teen will fly into a rage and destroy it at some point. So now I am thinking it has to go back into my bedroom. But I am trying to declutter in there. I don't think I have a surface large enough for it to sit on in there to be out and be used. I don't know.

Everything I have is subject to destruction. So I try not to get anything else new and breakable, try not to get too attached to things, and am trying to keep things where they won't get destroyed. Sigh.

update today -

I cleaned off the kitchen table and wiped it off. Gathered what needs to be taken to the post office and will take it today.

I cleaned out the big freezer, partly, as at some point last week in the Teen rampage it turned off/breaker got tripped without our noticing, so much of the food was thawed and mushy. I took what was not at all frozen and threw it out, sadly. I think most of the rest will be okay. Who knows.

I am getting myself ready because I have to go to work in 2 hours, so probably will just add to the Daily Tally when I get home tonight. Hope to get back to cleaning and decluttering tomorrow.

Hello.

Lila, that is a lot with the box. I’m sorry. About the freezer too.

We had sort of a fire at school today - a ballast burned out in a light in the art room. Whole third floor smelled awful. We evacuated and the fire department removed the light fixture. It threw off the whole day.

I did manage to calm down a kid who was having a panic attack.

Right now I just want to get through the week.

Hello everyone. Lila, I’m sorry about the freezer and the box. Would you mind if I asked you a few questions? Please do not answer if you don’t want to.

Is it worth it to you to play your grandparents records? Stop and think about that. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. It is okay if priorities change. It really is.

How long do you keep food in the freezer and then do you eventually eat it? I have to admit that I tend to buy my food each night. Sometimes two nights in advance. I rarely have things in my freezer. I have lived like this since grad school. I remember someone commenting about how I buy my food each night. And I do. Most is consumed within two days of buying it. For me it is heaven. I can see how it would be a nightmare for most.

I can understand the panic attack with the acrid burning smell, SubC.

As for me, I’m continuing to reduce my things. I have too many.

I have to go make dinner. My little grandma cat is sitting next to me and purring. She’s a little sweetheart.

Today is hard and I am tired and emotional, have to take Teen to an appt and then have a work meeting that I am dreading.

Today I am looking for a lost item so I went in my room and hung up about a dozen clothing items in my closet, which cleared some space. I donated one shirt. I have not found the item.

SubC, a fire! Goodness. I am glad you were there to help that student. I know how stressful things throw everything off for days.

Tatoulia, thank you for asking. I actually like interacting and thinking through this stuff. It helps me process.

I think the records are worth it, at least to play them one time, because I have such little connection to them. I miss my Dad so much and everyone on his side died long ago. Thinking about them listening to this music, and my Dad hearing it as a child, makes me feel connected to them. However, once I play them, if I don't enjoy the music, I could see myself selling or donating them and not needing the record player any more. I believe it has a way to record/copy LPs/records onto CDs or digitally, so I could do that if there are just a few I like and then move on. Or see if any of my kids want them.

The freezer is something I had because of being broke all the time. So when you go to the food bank they give you a lot of bread, muffins, bagels and stuff, and then I can freeze them. Also, when people give me things like peppers, onions, fruit, etc from gardens I always chop and freeze. When I make big pots of soup or casseroles I freeze a few quarts to have later when I am busy. I look for meat to be on sale, then when it hits the "sell by" date it is super cheap and I buy it and freeze it. So that's how I've used the freezer, plus you know, the kids and grandkids like to have pizza, burritos, my son likes frozen meals to take to work. That kind of thing. If it died, I would not replace it, as now all my kids are grown and I no longer cook for 7+ people a night. I might get a little chest freezer instead. I think if it was just me I would do as you do. So it will be that way eventually. But I think if I had not thought about this I would automatically buy another freezer when this one dies. Now I realize I won't need one.

SubC, Are the animals Schleich? Those are really cute; they sell them here at Tractor Supply and I have to resist - they have realistic cute bunnies. My roommate did buy one a few years back. Bean ought to like them.

Sounds like we're all riding the struggle bus a bit this week. It hit me today. Which was supposed to be a snow day and I'd done prep like go to the grocery store yesterday, was going to do my long-neglected laundry and basically chill.

But got off to a late start, got irritated that roommate hadn't cleaned the lint off the dryer screen, in a temper I whacked it against the wastebasket too hard and a corner of the frame chipped off. Mea culpa. Ordered her another one on general principles, and as penance for my stupid temper. The old one does still work, though. I
thought I was getting better about that sort of thing, but I backslide from time to time. Bleah.

Then went out to put some books to get rid of in the van, and discovered a flat tire. I thought I drove over something Tuesday morning on my way to church quilting. But I couldn't see any damage then. And it let me drive to church yesterday again, and to the store, thank goodness I guess that it didn't go flat while I was out and about.

Looks like my insurance roadside assistance will cover coming to put on the spare. But I'll do it tomorrow. Even though the snow missed us, the cold did not, and I don't fancy standing out there doing (guess what) the task of clearing junk away so that I can get to the spare tire. The junk in question is stuff that is going to go away, mostly, and I know I've been making progress. But to someone who doesn't know what I've been accomplishing and how much worse it had been, of course it will just look like a mess and me like a slob. Bleah again.

It's supposed to warm up a bit tomorrow, though, and hopefully this will all get taken care of. I pray the tire guy Julio can repair it and I won't need to purchase new tires. I do want to get some eventually but would like to have another few paydays first.

_________________________________

Testing 1 2 3 on the punctuation

We know periods and commas are still working, so I won't bother with them.

Question mark ?
Colon : Semicolon ;
Exclamation point !
Parentheses ( )
Percent sign %
Asterisk *
Plus + Hyphen or minus - Equal sign =
Dollar sign $

And now we shall see.

For good measure, some emojis, not that I am holding my breath...

ð?™?ð???ð?¦¡â?¤ï¸?

Lila, I hope your work thing and teen’s appointment went well.

(CM, apostrophes have not been working for me - we will see how that one went)

Yes, the animals are Schleich. They are cheaper direct than through tractor supply depending on shipping.

I hope your tire is an easy fix.

Nothing cleared out or cleaned up today. Just checking in.

Exclamation point-!

Roadside Assistance request sent, which went smoothly. Still, I must admit I am not a fan of all this adulting. This weekend will mark 20 years since my dad passed, and I used to be so blessed to have him to help with my vehicles; if he couldn't do something himself he at least knew where to take it.

I feel so alone in the world sometimes; my parents gone and me with no siblings, spouse, nor children plus the lovely ball and chain that is agoraphobia to reckon with. The parental generation relatives dying off, first cousins half gone and most not nearby, their children I don't know really well, though they are mostly decent people who I think would help if they were close. Sometimes I ponder moving to the town where my dad was from, so I could be near those cousins' children as I age. Having no kids of my own I need to find some way to be connected with people who will likely live long enough to be able to help me when I can't do for myself.

Friends, too, have become much sparser and communication with them harder - I think this was a trend that was starting even before pandemic but that really accelerated it. I'm noticing a pattern, too - in my 30s-50s it was still possible to easily make new friends and connect with them, at least if they were single like me. I quit trying with married people. Anyhow, now that most people my age are firmly ensconced in the grandparent life and retired or thinking about it, they seem busier and more cocooned in their own immediate circle than ever. Perhaps I'll make some friends through the senior center, but it may take some time.

I guess it's just turning 60 shock still - and 61 soon, in April. It's different than the crisis I went through turning 30, which was difficult in its own way (suddenly realizing my parents were mortal). I got through that one, I still had health and energy, and I still do to a great extent, brain glitches aside. But it does feel weird contemplating my OWN mortality.

This is actually one driving force behind my recent jumpstarting of my decluttering process, honestly. Swedish Death Cleaning, perhaps.

Hope this wasn't all too morbid. But it kind of helps to just spew it out, because it's been haunting me lately. Maybe this'll help externalize the angst.

Tatoulia,

My condolences on your kitty - she had a long and good life with you, and I'm glad you had BF and Emiko there with you for support. And what a wonderful legacy in her memory to give a home to a senior cat.

I would put heart emojis and stuff there but I don't know what's up with this site - it doesn't seem to be processing my emojis or even your punctuation properly.

I guess I could do the old sideways heart: <3

There!